Sardar Jokes

Sardar: I hav'nt slept all night in the train. > Friend: Why? > Sardar: Got upper berth. > Friend: Why didn't you exchange? > Sardar: Oye yaar, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth > !!! ------> A Teacher lecturing on population - "In India after Every 10 sec a woman > gives birth to a kid." > A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!!!" > -------> Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin. Again had twins and named > Peter & Repeater. > Again twins and he named Max & Climax. Again the same - disgusted Sardar > named them TIRED & RETIRED !!! > --------> Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. > Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail". > --------> Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to > what to be filled in column > "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes OFCOURSE! > ---------> Sardar told his servant: "Go and water the plants. " > Servant: It"s already raining." > Sardar: "So what, take an umbrella and go." > ----------> Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -----What > will come first, Chicken or > egg? "Oye Yaar, what ever u order first will come first !!!!!!!!!" > ----------> Sardar at an Art Gallery: "I suppose this horrible looking thing is what > you call modern art ?" > Art dealer: "I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror !!!" > ---------> Sardar was writing something very slowly. > Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?" > Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very > fast." ---------> AND TO END IT ALL..... > A man asked sardarji, "Why does Manmohan Singh go walking at evening not > in the morning." > Sardarji replied ''Oye yaar, Manmohan is PM not AM !!!!!''

An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize That they fall within this category. 45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced Basic 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline Food 39. Good grief 38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd 29. Business ethics 28. Soft rock 27. Butt head 26. Military intelligence 25. Software documentation 24. New classic 23. Sweet sorrow 22. Child Proof 21. "Now, then ..." 20. Synthetic natural gas 19. Passive aggression 18. Taped live 17. Clearly misunderstood 16. Peace force 15. Extinct life 14. Temporary tax increase 13. Computer jock 12. Plastic glasses 11. Terribly pleased 10. Computer security 9. Political science 8. Tight slacks 7. Definite maybe 6. Pretty ugly 5. Twelve-ounce pound cake 4. Diet ice cream

3. Working vacation 2. Exact estimate .....And the number 1 oxymoron is.. 1. Microsoft Works

2. *At a Budapest zoo:* "PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY." 3. *Doctors' office, Rome:* "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES." 4. *Dry cleaners, Bangkok**:* "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS." 5. *In a Nairobi restaurant:* "CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER." 6. *On an Indian river highway:* "TAKE NOTICE - WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE." 7. *In a Malmo (Sweden) restaurant:* "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS." 8. *A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:* "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS." 9. *In a cemetery:* "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY, BUT THEIR OWN, GRAVES." 10. *Tokyo hotel's rules ad regulations:* "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER

DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED." 11. *On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:* "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR." 12. *In a Tokyo bar:* "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS." 13. *Hotel, Yugoslavia**:* "THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID." 14. *Hotel, Japan:* "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID." 15. *In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:* "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY." 16. *A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest**:* "IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE." 17. *Hotel, Zurich:* "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE." 18. *Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand**:* "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?" 19. *In the window on a Swedish furrier:* "FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN."

20. *The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:* "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE." 21. *In a Swiss mountain inn:* "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM." 22. *Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:* "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS." 23. *A laundry in Rome:* "LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME." http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/mohanmax/LondonTrip/photo#5050282735089851922