Profound Thoughts Book 2

Shubnell’s Profound Thoughts Book 2© 2009, Thomas F. Shubnell. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Making copies of any part of this book for any purpose other than your own personal use is a violation of United States copyright laws. Entering any of the contents into a computer for mailing list or database purposes is strictly prohibited unless written authorization is obtained from the owner.

ISBN 1448628768 EAN 9781448628766

Cover and interior design by TFS

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Autohagiography

If you enjoy this, you will also love, “Gracious Me . . . Is Nothing Sacred.” A non-sectarian and hilarious look at all religions from the beginning of time. It truly proves that laughter is good for the soul. Medical humor abounds in the best selling “Medical Humor” medical nonsense to tickle your funnybone. A great collection of medical funny stuff, including stories, jokes, and hilarious pictures and cartoons. Another wacky book, “Men vs. Women, a Book of Lists” examines life from a different perspective and tells it all - the differences between the sexes are real and funny. Speaking of wacky, why not read, “Number One book of Wacky Lists”, a hilarious compendium of lists from the sublime to the absurd. Interesting facts and bits of wisdom, humor, and just plain common sense. Something for everyone to enjoy. Even more fun can be found in “The Best of Terrible Tommy and Yucky Chucky,” a collection of the best Terrible Tommy and Yucky Chucky jokes of all time. More hilarious reading can be found in “Giggles, Gags, and Quips, Special Picks” a collection of the best jokes, pictures, billboards, stories, and cartoons. Also collect all the “Greatest Jokes of the Century” series of books. 25 wildly funny and hilarious compendiums of the greatest jokes, tidbits, stories, and trivia that are sure to induce uncontrollable laughter. The best bathroom reading since Readers Digest. Don’t forget to collect the rest of the Profound Thoughts series. All written by Thomas F. Shubnell and available at Amazon.com Also ask for them at your favorite bookstore or as ebooks at shubsbooks.com

Table of Contents

Friendship.......................................................................... 5 Kindness ...........................................................................29 Happiness..........................................................................57 Laughter ...........................................................................75 Index .................................................................................93

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Friendship

Friendship

5

Friendship

Friendship

The law sent us our relatives, but thank God, we can choose our friends ourselves. A friend is long sought, hardly found, and with difficulty kept. It’s not important how many friends you have, but how many you’re going to make. We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young. Treat your family like friends and your friends like family. If all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn’t jump with them. I would be at the bottom to catch them. Love always finds a warm home in the heart of a friend. Gossip can turn friends into enemies; forgiveness can change enemies into friends. Friendship is a treasury; you cannot take from it more than you put into it. There is a destiny that makes us brothers. No one goes his way alone; all that we send into the hearts of others comes back into our own. The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated. 6

Friendship

The wrong way to pick your friends is to pieces. Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another. Too many people insult friends and flatter strangers. Some people make the world more special just by being in it. A true friend is one who notices when you lose a pound, but not when you gain ten. The best thing to do behind a friend‘s back is pat it. Sweep first before your own door, before you sweep the doorsteps of neighbors. Friendship is not how you listen, but how you understand. No one can give you inner strength, but sometimes they can help you find it. The best friendships have all weathered misunderstandings and trying times. One of the secrets of a good friendship is the ability to accept the storms. There can be no intimacy without conversation. To know and love a friend over the years you must have regular talks. Friendship must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it. Defining a friend is like trying to define beauty: It’s often in the eye of the beholder.

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Friendship

You can’t cultivate a friend by digging up the earth around him. A friend is a person who runs interference for you in your pursuit of happiness. Friends should be like seats on the fifty-yard line - few but choice. It’s what the guests say as they pull out of the driveway that really counts. Without fidelity there cannot be an authentic friendship. Don’t tell your friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you. Though your cloak be threadbare, half of it is mine, for we are friends. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming. There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Most of us admire the person who dares to be different unless it is us he is different from. A real friend is one who will tell you of your faults and follies in prosperity, and assist you with a hand and heart in adversity. Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. 8

Friendship

Friendship is forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives. Friendship is not how you see, but how you feel. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years, by trying to get people interested in you. True friends are those that really know you, but love you anyway. You who are letting your friend‘s heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give him someday, the time is short. Treasure is not always a friend, but a friend is always a treasure. The ornaments of a home are the friends who frequent it. When a friend deals with a friend, let the bargain be clear and well penned, that they may continue friends to the end. If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend. You will always be my best friend, you know too much. Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend. A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother. 9

Friendship

A best friend is a sister that destiny forgot to give you. Getting people to like you is simply the other side of liking other people. You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist. Friendships, like banks, go broke if you take out more than you put in. A true friend thinks of you when all others are thinking of themselves. If you can’t apologize, you better be good at making new friends. An enemy is an injured friend. The best time to make friends is before you need them. A real friend is one who will continue to talk to you over the back fence even though he knows he’s missing his favorite television program. The only way to have a friend is to be one. Good companions are folks who pretend to enjoy being bored. If you want friends, you must learn to speak their language. Real friends don’t ask you for money unless you owe it to them. He whose hand is clasped firmly in friendship cannot throw mud. 10

Friendship

Many people prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves trouble. The most valuable antiques are dear old friends. The more arguments you win, the fewer friends, you will have. Others want us to look at them, not through them; to talk with them, not about them. I have a friend who’s not in need, that’s what I call a friend. An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. Good friends are the diplomas from the school of life. Promises may get you friends, but it is performance that keeps them. A sandwich with a friend is better than a steak by yourself. If you’re looking for friends, find those who need you. Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. He who tries to buy friendship knows nothing about the product. Close your eyes to the faults of others and watch the doors of friendship swing wide open. Pick your friends, but not to pieces. 11

Friendship

The way to have friends is to be willing to lose some arguments. The language of friendship is not words but meaning. The truest friend of all - the most forgiving, the most demanding, the most generous, the most encouraging, the most honest, the one who brings the most joy - ought to be oneself. Everyone should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends. Blessed are the ones God sends to show His love for us - our friends. Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others. If you don’t want to undo a friendship, don’t try to outdo a friend. If you’re not willing to be a friend to someone who doesn’t entirely suit you, you will never have many friends. Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. A good test of willpower is to meet a friend with a black eye and not ask any questions. A true friend stabs you in the front. The proper duty of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Anybody will side with you when you are in the right. 12

Friendship

Nobody has ever come up with a good substitute for friendship. One’s worst enemy is the one disguised as a friend. A real friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be on your way down. A true friend is someone who is there for you when he would rather be somewhere else. The best mirror is often a good friend. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Wow, that was fun!” Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends. True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost. Good friends are good for your health. We are not put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through. The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. Friendship flourishes at the fountain of forgiveness. Friends are made by many acts, and lost by only one. The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships. Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. 13

Friendship

The best preservative to keep the mind in health is the faithful admonition of a friend. Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by doubling our joy and dividing our grief. Never get so rich that you can afford to lose a friend. Friendship is love, with understanding. Live so your friends can defend you, but never have to. When a best friend is told you are having an affair they ask, “Is it catered?” The light of friendship is like the light of phosphorous, seen when all around is dark. Words in haste do friendships waste. Friends come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same. People are like stained-glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within. Hold a true friend with both hands. Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, the greatest is the possession of friendship. From quiet homes and first beginning, out to the undiscovered ends, there’s nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends. 14

Friendship

A word from a friend is doubly enjoyable in dark days. No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend until he is unhappy. Our lives are filled with simple joys and blessings without end and one of the greatest joys in life is to have a friend. Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which strengthens with the setting sun of life. He alone has lost the art to live, who cannot win new friends. Friendships are fragile things, and require as much care in handling as any fragile and precious thing. Life has no blessing like a prudent friend. The loss of a friend is like that of a limb; time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired. A friend that you have to buy won’t be worth what you pay for him, no matter what that may be. Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other’s little failings. Friends feed each other and not just bread and soup. Friends feed each other’s spirits and dreams and hopes; they feed each other with the things a soul needs to live. Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. 15

Friendship

If you use your friends like a light switch, beware, you may burn out the bulb. Birds of a feather flock together. Those who have successful friendships allow their loved ones room. Rather than possessing their friends, they try to help them expand and grow and be free. The best friend does not worry about how many friends to count, but rather that he or she can be a friend to be counted. It is good and pleasant when people dwell in unity. If we build more windows and fewer walls, we will have more friends. God gives us our relatives, but we choose our friends. Tell me whom you associate with, and I will tell you who you are. People who mind don’t matter, and people who matter won’t mind. Friends bring out the beautiful things in each other that no one else looks hard enough to find. All that falls to the benefit of the individual is a benefit to the whole, or what does not benefit the hive is of no benefit to the bee. Make your friends your teachers and mingle the pleasures of conversation with the advantages of instruction.

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Friendship

There is less harm to be suffered in being mad among madmen than in being sane all by oneself. We may take Fancy for a companion, but must follow Reason as our guide. It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you. A friend is the thermometer by which we may judge the temperature of our fortune. A friend is one who is here today and here tomorrow. Friendship is the only cement that will hold the world together. Friendship is expecting a great deal from one another, but never asking for it. A friend is someone with whom you can be silent. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend. A friend understands what you are trying to say, even when your thoughts aren’t fitting into words. Yes, we must ever be friends; and of all who offer you friendship, let me be the first, the truest, the nearest and dearest. In friendship your heart is like a bell struck every time your friend is in trouble. 17

Friendship

There’s never a dull moment when I’m out with Tom. It lasts the whole evening. You are meeting a friend when you don’t worry about the impression you are making. One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. If your heart rules your head, you will lack money. If your head rules your heart, you will lack friends. There is less pain in biting your tongue than losing a friendship. Nothing brings people together more quickly than shared grief or shared greed. Never interrupt when you are being flattered. Willingness to make amends has much to do with keeping friends. Friends won by favors are easily lost to others willing to do more for them. If it were not for our fears there would not be so many strangers. The people we remember after they are gone are the people who remembered us while they were alive. Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. Why be hard on yourself when your friends are so willing to do it for you? 18

Friendship

Better the bite of a friend than the kiss of an enemy. Solitude teaches us how much we need others, yet being with others too much teaches us how much we also need solitude. Some folks say what they think, others have friends. He will never have a true friend, who is afraid of making enemies. Friends who send postcards with the message, “Wish you were here,” are usually saying, “Look where I am.” No one will remain sad who finds a way to cheer a depressed friend. Friendliness is insulation against another’s anger. If the faults we see in others were not so much like our own, we would not recognize them so easily. Instead of hating your enemies, why not treat your friends a little better? If you can’t be happy for another’s success, you don’t deserve your own. True test of friendship is if you’d do more for him than he can do for you. If you want an accounting of your worth, count your friends. A man who pays an ounce of principal for a pound of popularity gets badly cheated.

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Friendship

Real friends are those who see heart to heart when they don’t see eye to eye. A friend is a present you give yourself. Never ask a relative for a favor, or a friend for a loan. Anyone who will gossip to you about others will gossip to others about you. A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Friends are folks who have faults you pretend not to notice. The only rose without a thorn is friendship. One friend in a lifetime is much, two are many, and three are hardly possible. If you were another person, would you like to have yourself as a friend? You cannot possess one richer treasure than the loyalty of a friend. You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. No man is poor who has friends. The song from beginning to end, I found in the heart of a friend. Trust thyself only, and another shall not betray thee. 20

Friendship

When a friend is down, an ounce of help is better than a pound of preaching. A friend is someone who makes you feel like the person you would like to be. A victory is often shared with friends. Defeat is usually suffered alone. Perfect strangers cease to be perfect the minute they cease to be strangers. In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips. Being old is good and bad - being old and lonely is all bad. When friends ask for a second cup, they are open to conversation. In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends. If you want people to agree with you, admit you have a fault. Some grouches have photographic memories. They remember all the negatives about their friends. Keep good company and you will be counted among them. The biggest step you can take is when you meet others halfway. Give first impressions a second opinion and you will find many more friends.

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Friendship

Go often to the house of your friends, for weeds choke up the unused path. A cheerful friend is like a sunny day. No time is ever wasted that makes two people better friends. What’s the use of having an enemy if you can have a friend. A friend indeed is that rare soul who sees right through us, but sees us through. Friends see things with their heart instead of with their eyes. Criticism from a friend is better than flattery from an enemy. Friends are those who do their knocking before they enter instead of after they leave. To a friend‘s house the road is never long. Treat your friends as you do your pictures and place them in their best light. The opportunity for brotherhood presents itself every time you meet a human being. Friendship is a two-way treat. Fear is nothing but an illusion. When you share it with a friend it tends to disappear. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. If you want to keep friends, never suggest what’s wrong with their children. 22

Friendship

We all have the strength to endure the misfortunes of others. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day. To keep friends, give them your candied opinion. They, who always have their say, will lose some friends along the way. A really good friend is one who lets you be yourself - and likes you in spite of it. Good cooks never lack friends. If you are looking for friends, find those who need you. Never judge other people by appearances, but remember that you are always judged by them. When friends start buttering you up, you know they’re going to put the bite on you. Friendship fills up all those little ruts in life. People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. A true friend is one soul in two bodies. True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

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Friendship

Faith is assuring a friend he can do the impossible - loyalty is joining him. Friendship is the gift of the gods, and the most precious boon to man. A person who is a stranger to himself is the most alone of all people. If two friends ask you to judge a dispute; don’t accept, for you will lose a friend. If two strangers ask you to judge a dispute, accept, for you will gain a friend. A good friend is someone who dislikes the same people you do. A good friend is somebody who could tell you about his troubles, but doesn’t. The best vitamin for making friends: Bl. A friend is a lot of things, but a critic he isn’t. We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change. True friends are those who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t think you’ve done a permanent job. He, who seeks a friend without a fault, remains without one. Infinite sadness is not to trust an old friend. Friendship is the gold thread that ties hearts together. 24

Friendship

Good times are easy to enjoy. The real worth of a friend comes from how he acts during bad times. At what point does an acquaintance become a friend? A good friend remembers what we were and sees what we can be. If you want to make a friend, let someone do you a favor. You may be thinking wrong of your friend‘s point of view; it isn’t what you think of him, but what he thinks of you. You don’t win an argument if in the end you lose a friend. The people who help you move on a rainy day are true-blue friends. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. If you must talk about your troubles, don’t bore your friends with them. Tell them to your enemies, who will be delighted to hear about them. Judge people by their actions, not their intentions. The person who doesn’t gossip, has no friends to speak of. Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend, who is foe and who is friend. If you’ve learned that a good friend is ill, don’t ask him about it, let him tell you first.

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Friendship

If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. A true friend is a work of heart. When you need professional advice, get it from professionals, not from your friends. Ask someone you’d like to know better to list five people he would most like to meet. It will tell you a lot about him. He who is the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Friendship, like a young tree, must be planted in rich soil, watered with common sense to establish deep roots, and grown in the sunshine of time. The nicest thing about new friends is, they haven’t heard your old stories. If you are attracted to the right kind of friends, when you start to go wrong, they will keep you going right. Don’t worry about knowing others. Make yourself worth knowing. Pleasant days are just ordinary days made better by good friends. God adds to the beauty of His world by creating true friends. People with porches have many friends. Friendship was given by nature to be an assistant to virtue, not a companion to vice. 26

Friendship

How good it feels. . . the hand of a friend. Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God‘s best gifts. It involves many things, but above all, the power of going out of one’s self, and appreciating whatever is noble and loving in another. Friends of people with children have to listen to the patter of little feats. Be grateful for the doors of opportunity - and for friends who oil the hinges. How inoffensive it is when a friend repeats himself time after time, when he is saying nice things about you. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say. A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and the one which we take the least thought to acquire. You never really know your friends until you take a vacation with them. A good friend is more likely to send a kettle of soup than a get well card. Tis much better to give than lend. All you lose is money, never friend. A person who makes people laugh secures more friends than the one who forces them to think. A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody. 27

Friendship

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Not everyone can boast of having a friend. Making sure my best friend is happy is as important as making sure that I am happy. Trust is a tie that holds friendship together. We cherish our friends, not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.

A true friend can hear a tear drop.

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You know you have read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.