Personal Narrative Essay

Hayden McCleary Wilson 3 2/27/19

The year was 2013. I was 10 years old, in the middle of an intense battle. “Charizard go!” I said as my palms were sweating heavily awaiting the result of the attack. Charizard flew in at Pikachu to hit him with a fireball attack. With a KO in the 4th round, we won. We WON! The crowd was cheering. The bells were ringing. ​Ding dong ding dong.​ “You are the winner!” That subtitle played over and over like a broken record in my small 10 year old mind. I had beat the final challenge on pokemon. I was the best player. I wanted to walk around and flex on all the lame Pokemon players with my cool badges and exotic pokemon. But there was one obstacle in my way, soccer practice…. Soccer practice didn’t only take up my time but it required a lot of effort. As I thought about how to deal with this problem a light bulb lit up inside my head. “I could just quit” I thought. A giant smile, an almost universe sized smile stretched across my entire face. I dreamt how many video games I would be able to play and how much fun that would be. I had been doing soccer for about 6 years. And yet I decided right then and there that I should drop soccer mid way through the season to focus on more important matters like Pokemon and Mario. I walked up to my parents and proposed this dilemma, and of course my more than favorable solution. However, my parents had a different idea. Shutting my idea down quick, they told me that I could not just quit something and that I need to keep playing.

I was furious I had to go to soccer practice. My ears and nose started pouring out steam like a forgotten pot on a stove… Okay maybe that’s a little dramatic but I am sure you get the idea. My parents tried to tell me that I could not quit. They tried to tell me that I already made a commitment. They said I had to persevere through the rest of the season. I didn’t care. I can’t quite remember what I did after I received this news, but my guess is I tried doing some sort of protest hoping my efforts will be rewarded and I would be granted my wish. As you can guess me not caring about what my parents had to say, and my pointless protest still ended up with me at the field by 4, it still ended with me at practice. Throughout the next week I went to my soccer practices. I was mad that soccer was taking up my time. I didn’t want to try my hardest, but I still went to all the practices that week. We had a game on Saturday. I ended up scoring 2 goals that game but I didn't really care that much I just wanted to go home. Throughout the remainder of the season I continued to go to soccer practice. I continued to play in the soccer games. And yet my mood started to slowly shift like tectonic plates that pull and push land to form mountains. In fact I actually started to enjoy some of the games near the end of the season and I wanted to get better. This was a really big surprise to me because just a couple weeks ago I wanted nothing to do with soccer. The only thing I cared about was staying inside and playing video games. During the final games of the season I continued to play and I actually got better I started scoring more goals and I started to try harder in some of the games. Then the season finally ended I was very satisfied because I had persevered and tried to get better throughout the season. I ended up doing soccer for another year.

In reality what I achieved was practically nothing but what lesson I took out of it was everything. I chose to not quit or more accurately I was forced to not quit. This taught me a valuable lesson which is to always persevere and never quit throughout anything in life and to always try my hardest no matter what. After this experience there have been many times where I have wanted to quit something. But I almost always preserve like when I no longer want to do homework, or I don't want to continue playing a sport, or I just want to quit because I don't think I can accomplish what I want. However I chose to not quit. In life we have to not quit, we have to put things that we may like aside to focus on something that will improve us as people, push us to success. Think about it our ancestors did not give up they might not have been the strongest, fastest, smartest, tallest, or even the most adapted person but they made it, they persevered, they chose to not quit. We are quite literally living proof of that, which is why we should chose to persevere as well. This is why I chose to write about this seemingly insignificant event.

Narrative Essay Rubric (Honors) Score: 45.5/50 Resubmission Score: 47/50 W.9-10.3​. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Standard 3.a​. ​Introduction​ Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a

Exceptional (10-9) ❏

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Effectively hook the reader with a creative, original, and compelling hook Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation in a compelling and/or creative manner

Proficient (8-7) ❏

Hook the reader with a compelling hook

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation

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Establish an insightful point of view

Emerging (6-1)

Not Evident (0)

smooth progression of experiences or events. 10

3.b. ​Narrative​ - ​Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

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Establish an insightful, original, or creative point of view

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Introduce a ​complex and/or creative narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize ​two or more (teacher discretion) narrative techniques with purpose: dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, multiple plot lines, etc…

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters and to clearly develop a purposeful theme

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Use ​purposefully narrative techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks in a ​highly effective manner​ ​to create an original plot structure

8.5

3.c​. ​Organization​ - ​Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. 9

3.d.​ ​Language​ - ​Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

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Introduce a narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters in attempt to convey theme

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Use appropriately techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical and engaging

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical, ​creative, and sophisticated ​and that uses ​highly engaging devices

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Use precise, detailed and ​sophisticated words, phrases, and sensory language​ to engage the reader ​and convey a​ ​vivid picture

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Use precise and detailed words, phrases, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

10 3.e.​ ​Conclusion​ - ​Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

over the course of the narrative. 8

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Extends the meaning and purpose to connect to the audience ​and​ ​convey a complex and original theme

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Extends the meaning to convey a theme