Personal Essay

Angel 1 Yahaira Angel Senior Research - Capstone Mrs.Reaves January 19 2019 Personal Essay Being in a an art school has changed my views about how I think. I look at problems or work more visually than I did going to a public school. Beacon is a lot more condensed and smaller compared being in a public school filled with thousands of kids. Now that I am a senior ,I am required to use my creativity into a solid film that I will create.I have a lot of ideas and experiences that I want to share with others. It's just a matter of opening up and being vulnerable with the audience to give them a chance to connect with my film. I am not entirely sure how I want to execute my film. I do however, know that I want to incorporate a central idea of happiness, togetherness and what it feels like to be free. I have struggled with feeling content with my life in general due to certain circumstances. For example, in my sophomore I experienced a lot of trauma that caused my mental health to decline . My aunt was diagnosed with leukemia shortly after midterms had started. I was drowned by a great mass of worry. I did not know what to expect . I didn't know if she would have much time left. She had taken me in prior to this due to the escalating conflict with my mom. But when it was revealed that she had cancer, I automatically felt more of a burden that I already was. I felt scared and alone. I was lost and confused. I spent most of my sophomore year in a hospital visiting my sick aunt. I would go from straight to school to Rhode Island Hospital and from four to ten or sometimes eleven at night , i would spend my time there. This became a routine for me. In this time frame, I would be surrounded by a great deal of sadness, I did not know how to cope with this. I felt selfish for asking for help. So for a majority of that year, I kept this sadness

Angel 2 bottled up with me so that I was not in the center of attention. I no longer feel this way .And since then, I am trying to process what happened in that year .To cope with it is to feel happy for me personally. I am not very good at coping so this is a huge step for me. Yes it did take some time but small steps are still a huge milestone in this coping process. I wanted to incorporate this feeling of acceptance and happiness in my film . Coming to Beacon has certainly changed the way I see friendship. It was hard for me to make friends before I came here. I was always an outcast .I have since then formed many types of friendships. Some have flourished more than others but it means a great deal to me that I have friends that I can be myself around with. I do not feel ashamed to truly express how I feel or how I look . It is a huge relief to not worry about what others think about me everyday twenty four seven, I feel free . I feel like I am growing everyday. I know that one day ill blossom into this person I have always wanted to become. As mentioned before, I am not sure how I want to execute this poetic documentary . My haiku was a big help as to what I really wanted to do with my film.Essentially , my main goal here is to live in the moment. I do not plan on directing any certain scenes. I just want to showcase the good parts of my life . And maybe some bad. As cheesy as it sounds, you can't have a little sunshine without a little rain . Two different elements working together . I just want my audience to take away that without the bad events in my life, I would not be the same person I am today. For all I know I could be writing something completely different in a alternative universe if it weren't for these certain events. As foolish as it sounds, I am grateful for the bad days. As humans , we learn from our mistakes . We experience sadness. It is just in our nature. There is no escaping it . But we can take these experiences and make something good out of it. I want to make a great film with a strong emotion .I am still lost in what I want exactly . But I do not want to force anything in my film . I want everything to come naturally and flow with

Angel 3 my film . I am determined to gather the right shots and angles. I want to be proud of it in the end.