Oscar Wilde Micro-play, First Draft

Characters (and unmentioned Persons): Narrator – for your convenience Parliament – the legislative body of the British government. Henry Labouchere – Member of Parliament who introduced the Labouchere Amendment, which criminalized attempts to solicit homosexual sex; admirer of Oscar Wilde Oscar Wilde - accused of homosexual acts, associating with blackmailers and male prostitutes, and gross indecency Robbie Ross – Oscar first lover and confidante. Lord Alfred ‘Bosie’ Douglas - writer, Wilde’s most prominent lover and the son of the man he sued for libel Marquess of Queensberry – father of Alfred Douglas; accused Wilde of posing as a “sodomnite” Edward Carson – defense for Queensberry Charles Gill – Wilde’s prosecutor Edward Clark - Wilde’s defense counselor Ernest and Ada Leverson - couple that hides Wilde after he is released on bail Reverend Stewart Headlam - put up most of Wilde’s bail, was distraught over the hideous was that Wilde’s was treated during trial Alfred Wills - Judge who presided of 1st trial, felt 2 yrs was not enough time for what Wilde’s was convicted of in 1st trial Richard B. Haldane - person who counseled Wilde’s and fought for his appeal after his first trial

A Quick Note on Sources: While the vast majority of this dialogue is paraphrased, it is also derived direction from the research; all of it is documented or related by Wilde, his friends and his family. Most of the details came from The Real Trial of Oscar Wilde, which is the first uncensored publication of Wilde’s first trial, published by Wilde’s own grandson, Merlin Holland, who was born in 1945 and is still alive. I mention this to illustrate how recentthese events were – Wilde’s closest friends and lovers were still fighting over his death during World War I, and his own great grandson is only thirty years old.

Part 1 – The Amendment

Narrator: It’s 1885, the height of the Victorian Era; women are pure, innocent little things who don’t have sexual thoughts, and men are violent, lustful beasts who can’t stop themselves from having sex with everyone. If something isn’t done, civilization will collapse. Homosexuality isn’t just uncomfortable, or frowned on; it’s a crime against God and humanity, as bad as murder, rape and people who talk in the theater. Here’s a good example of how stuffy these people are…

Parliament: We need to pass a law protecting young women from the horrors of prostitution.

Labouchere: I want to add a clause to make it even more illegal to engage in homosexual activities than it already is.

Parliament: Okay, but we were talking about child prostitution…

Labouchere: My amendment reads like this: "Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or is a party to the commission of, or procures, or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency shall be guilty of a misdemeanour, and being convicted shall be liable at the discretion of the Court to be imprisoned for any term not exceeding two years, with or without hard labour."

Parlaiment: What does this have to do with sex crimes relating to young women and prostitution?

Labouchere: Absolutely nothing, but it doesn’t need to if you all agree with me. Under Parliamentary procedure, making sense is optional, not required.

Parliament: Well, when you put it like that…. All in favor?

(all): Harumph!

Narrator (to audience): That means yes…

Labouchere: Perfect! Now I’m off to see a fabulous new play by my favorite writer, Oscar Wilde…

Narrator: No joke, Laboucherewas one of Wilde’s biggest fans. So no one’s confused, the Labouchere amendment, called the “Blackmailer’s Charter” later on, didn’t make homosexuality illegal – it extended laws that already existed, basically to include a wider variety of positions. Victorians were that scared of sex, and didn’t want to take any chances. Unfortunately, one of the most popular writers of the time was a raging homosexual; here’s how his life was ruined…

Part 2 – The Drama

Bosie: Oscar, my dad’s been a raging bastard ever since my brother killed himself over a gay love affair with the future Prime Minister; if you love me, you’ll fight him for me.

Robbie:

Bad idea.

Oscar: I’m not going after your father, Bosie; he’s too powerful in the government, and I’m too busy being fabulous and beloved by all Britain for my amazing work as a seminal Irish author and satirist...

Robbie: Or at least the parts with a sense of humor.

Bosie: You don’t love me.

Butler: Message for you, sir, from the Marquess of Queensberry…

Narrator: And if that isn’t the gayest title ever….

Oscar: Well, what’s it say.

Butler (stone faced, reading): “For Oscar Wilde, the posing sodomite”

(Everyone gasps)

Oscar: Wait, he’s claiming I’m posing as a sodomite?

Robbie: That’s rich.

Bosie: Libel! Take him to court!

Robbie: Bad idea…

Oscar: I have a wife and children, and a career…

Bosie: Sue him anyway. For me....

Oscar (giving in, as Robbie sighs and facepalms): Oh, alright, what’s the harm…

Part 3 – The Trial

Narrator: Here’s where it gets silly: On April 3, 1895, Oscar Wilde sued his lover’s father for libel for accusing him of pretending to be homosexual. Here’s an extremely condensed version of the trial…

Judge: Court is in order. What happened?

Wilde: Libel - This man accused me of posing as a sodomite!

Defense:

It’s not libel if it’s true; my client did it for the public good.

Judge (to Wilde): Is it true?

Wilde: I would never pretend to be a sodomite.

Defense: But you wrote Portrait of Dorian Grey. That’s pretty gay…

Wilde: It’s fiction.

Defense: What about all these male prostitutes you’ve been seeing?

Wilde: Um…

Defense: We could bring them in if you’d like…

Wilde: Well, that’s still not posing, is it?

Judge: Wait, you actually are a sodomite?

Wilde: Fine, I quit. (He runs away, chased by policemen)

Narrator: He did, but then he was arrested under the Labouchere amendment for “gross indecency”.

(Wilde is brought back in)

Guard: Caught him trying to leave the country.

Wilde: Wouldn’t you? All my friends are doing it these days…

Prosecution: “What is ‘the love that dare not speak its name’?”

Wilde: “It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an older and a younger man, when the older man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand.”

Judge: Well and good, but you’re still guilty. Two years hard labor. It’s the maximum sentence, but it’s not as much as you deserve.

Narrator: Wilde went to prison for two years, where his health suffered under the strain. Three years after his release, he died. His friend, Robbie Ross, became a strong advocate for the rights of homosexuals, while Bosie went on to become a powerful conservative voice in British society, accusing homosexuals of being part of a German plot to undermine the British government during World War I. The Labouchere Amendment wasn’t repealed until 1967, when homosexuality in private was mostly decriminalized, and 2003, when discrimination based on sexual orientation was made illegal, echoing the words of Oscar Wilde in a postcard to a friend:

Wilde:

“Yes, we shall win in the end; but the road will be long and red with monstrous martyrdoms.”

Questions?