Myth #3 Handout - B

MYTH #3 – Parenting is your Highest Calling

PUTTING MY FAITH AND MY COMMITMENT TO FAMILY IN THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE Our Highest Calling God can make my “ordinary Mom life” into an extraordinary one when I ask Him to live in me, and through every circumstance. Could it be, then, that my highest calling is wherever God places me, following Jesus through all my circumstances? For young Moms, that is mostly being with babies and children. Therefore, I am called to show my children what it “looks like” to know and love God in a practical way. I may feel like I consistently drop everything to do things for my children. If my child needs me, I am sure God does not want me to ignore them. But, I can also show them how to give, love, and worship by sacrificing my desire to meet some of my own needs first and to demonstrate a Christ-like approach in my life. This highest calling is not a ministry outside my life, it is how I live. It is not something I do, but who I am. Setting a good example for my children – what I say will influence my children only if it is supported by action. By accepting my highest calling, I want to provide a solid framework not only for the children to live up to, but for me, as a Mom, to live within. This is not a rule book, or a “to do list.” I am not a failure if I make mistakes. These examples can be integrated into my life no matter what my circumstances. 1. Count blessings rather than troubles 2. Judge self rather than others 3. Prize good character rather than personal gain 4. Serve rather than be served 5. Praise rather than criticize 6. Pray for enemies rather than retaliate against them 7. Give praise to others rather than seek it for myself 8. Be positive rather than negative

9. Forgive rather than hold a grudge 10.Be patient rather than intolerant 11.Give rather than receive 12.Be quick to listen and slow to anger 13.Seek spiritual rather than worldly values 14.Be humble rather than proud 15.Be God-centered rather than self-centered 16.Be honest rather than tricky or conniving 17.Display faithful living: hospitality, understanding, hope, responsibility, integrity, grace, caring, thanksgiving 18. Provide a healthy home atmosphere that helps teach my children

about God, an environment that provides a foundation where my children can experience joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control, (Galatians 5:22,23).

Bringing these principles to the “Real World”: Sometimes the previous examples seem overwhelming in light of the demands upon me as a Mom. They provide more of a big-picture attitude than the nitty-gritty stuff that goes on day to day. So, what can I do if I think that the big picture is getting lost in my life? (The following suggestions are in the context of Moms and children, and do not address other roles like wife, friend, daughter, etc.)

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Review the previous 18 examples/statements and evaluate whether I am trending in a positive direction, or whether I need to change regarding some of the ways I am influencing my children. Does my life show my children that I know and love God?

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Sometimes it is best not to react on the spur of the moment to my children. Instead, I could ask myself, “what do I want to accomplish over time, and is this likely to produce that result?”

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Pray to God and ask Him how I can best serve Him by how I interact with my children today. Don’t try to tackle my days in my own power, but rely on God’s power to help me be a faithful Mom.

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Take time to thank God that He is with me wherever I am and in whatever I am doing. Thank Him for the opportunity to serve my children.

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Sing Bible songs, play worship music, and pray with my children (get “basic” and “practical”).

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Be selective with TV watching; read appropriate books to my children.

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Show my children tenderness and affection through eye contact, physical contact, and focused attention.

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Handle conflicts without blaming; accentuate the positive.

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Trust God with my fears, and doubts. It is the only way to be free to be the best Mom I can be.

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Remember that if I love my children first, and then pursue my love for God after that, I am choosing to make my children my god. If my children disappoint me (and they will), then I am stuck. It is important for me to offer my children freedom from fulfilling my dreams.

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Be kind to myself – Moms are not perfect. There will be isolated instances of “stressful times,” and times when I really “blow it” as a Mom. These lapses will not destroy the positive foundation I have laid for mothering my children.

Hopefully, the above lists do not suggest that there is a formula for Mothering, and if I work through the steps correctly, everything will be great. Joy and contentment are found when I persevere in setting good examples for my children, and in making it clear that my highest calling is living out my faith in any circumstance in which God has placed me. Many people believe that if I do everything right and follow all of the rules, I will experience the full joy of Motherhood. But, the deeply felt joy of being a Mom will likely only come after I have experienced the pain of failure, frustration, isolation, and many other trials. Moms are going to have difficult days. It is not easy being “on-call” 24/7. But, God has placed me here, and because of His love and strength, I can accept His calling.

QUESTIONS for DISCUSSION: •

What do you think about the author’s (Fields' Myth book) belief that we can love our children too much? In what ways do you agree or disagree?

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Does the Mom role ever feel like a balancing act between pursuing God, and being an attentive Mom? And, if married, how does all of this fit in with my wife role?

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How can I continue to set a good example for my children when I feel myself spiraling down during a difficult day?

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What values and assumptions are my children picking up from our home environment? How do my children see me dealing with challenges, frustrations, and disappointments?

BIBLE VERSES included in the Chapter, Myth #3; Parenting is your Highest Calling: Matthew 20:20-23 Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came to Him with her sons, bowing down, and making a ‘request of Him.’ And He said to her, “What do you wish?” She said to Him, “Command that in Your kingdom these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right and one on Your left. But Jesus answered and said, “You do not know what you are asking for. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” They said to Him, “We are able.” He said to them, “My cup you shall drink; but to sit on My right and on My left, this is not mine to give, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.” Matthew 20:26-28 “It is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Matthew 10:37-39 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake shall find it.” Exodus 20:3 “You shall have no other gods before Me.” Luke 10:27 And he answered and said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

Titus 2:4 That they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you. Matthew 19:19 “Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Exodus 34:14 For you shall not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God Genesis 22:2 And He said, “Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah; and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you.” Genesis 21:12 But God said to Abraham, “Do not be distressed because of the lad and your maid; whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her, for through Isaac your descendants shall be named.” Hebrews 11:19 He considered that God is able to raise men even from the dead; from which he also received him back as a type. Galatians 3:6 Even so Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness. Genesis 17:4 “As for Me, behold, My covenant is with you, and you shall be the father of a multitude of nations. No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham; for I will make you the father of a multitude of nations.” Matthew 25:23 his master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful slave; you were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter in the joy of your master.” Exodus 10:3 And Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said to him, “Thus says the Lord, the God of the Hebrews, how long will you refuse to humble yourself before Me? Let My people go, that they may serve Me.” Deuteronomy 5:7 “You shall have no other gods before Me.”