My Vocation To The Catholic Priesthood

“But I, like my brethren, offer up my life and my body for the laws of our fathers: calling upon God to be speedily merciful to our nation, and that thou by torments and stripes mayst confess that he alone is God.” 1

1. 2 Machabees 7:37

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My Vocation To The Catholic Priesthood By: Phil Friedl “For this is the will of God, your sanctification.”

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“But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and the torment of death shall not touch them.” 3 “The patient man is better than the valiant: and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh cities.” 4

Table of Contents Introduction Signs of A Vocation: 1. A desire to have a religious vocation, together with the conviction that God is calling you. This desire is generally most strongly felt when the soul is calm, after Holy Communion, and in time of retreat. 2. A growing attraction for prayer and holy things in general, together with a longing for a hidden life and a desire to be more closely united to God. 3. To have a hatred of the world, a conviction of its hollowness and insufficiency to satisfy the soul. This feeling is generally strongest in the midst of worldly amusement. 4. A fear of sin, into which it is easy to fall, and a longing to escape from the dangers and temptations of the world. 5. It is sometimes the sign of a vocation when a person fears that God may call them; when he prays not to have it and cannot banish the thought from his mind. If the vocation is sound, it will soon give place to an attraction, through Father Lehmkulhl says: “One need not have a natural inclination for the religious life; on the contrary, a divine vocation is compatible with a natural repugnance for the state.” 6. To have zeal for souls. To realize something of the value of an immortal soul, and to desire to co-operate in their salvation. 7. To desire to devote our whole life to obtain the conversion of one dear to us. 8. To desire to atone for our own sins or those of others, and to fly from the temptations which we feel too weak to resist. 9. An attraction for the state of virginity. 10. The happiness which the thought of religious life brings, its spiritual helps, its peace, merit and reward. 11. A longing to sacrifice oneself and abandon all for the love of Jesus Christ, and to suffer for His sake. 12. A willingness in one not having any dowry, or much education, to be received in any capacity, is a proof of a real vocation. The Age of Choosing a Vocation Objections: 1. “I may not persevere.” 2. “My health may break down.” 3. “I should break my parent’s heart.” 4. “I could do more good in the world.” 5. “When did you decide to become a Religious?” Man's Last End 2. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 3. Wisdom 3:1 4. Proverbs 16:32

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Introduction “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercy of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, pleasing unto God, your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world; but be reformed in the newness of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, and the acceptable, and the perfect will of God.” 5 This paper being written after my conversion paper is meant for a more in depth picture and explanation on why I believe my vocation, as a religious, is true. I support it with events in my life which comes from my conversion paper. This is paper, My Vocation To The Catholic Priesthood, will be meshed with my conversion paper to show how they intertwine so perfectly. One can almost think this paper, an abridgment to my other paper, My Conversion to Catholicism. And how my vocation from the beginning was meant for the religious life, not anything contrary to that. There are twelve distinct points that show signs of a vocation to the religious life, “taken from Father Gautrelet, S.J., and the Retreat Manual. No one need expect to have all these marks, but if some of them at least are not perceived, the person may safely say he has no vocation.” 6 Just like street signs which guides you from our house to Jewel or to the gas station, I am showing you the life I lived as a secular, with the graces (street signs) I received from God, which are bringing me to the life of a Catholic Religious. Lastly, my grammar skills are not the greatest, and may contain mistakes, despite the number of times reviewing this paper. “Before I formed thee in the bowels of thy mother, I knew thee: and before thou camest forth out of the womb, I sanctified thee, and made thee a prophet unto the nations. And I said: Ah, ah, ah, Lord God: behold, I cannot speak, for I am a child. And the Lord said to me: Say not: I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I shall command thee, thou shalt speak. Be not afraid at their presence: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord.” 7

Signs of a Vocation 1. A desire to have a religious vocation, together with the conviction that God is calling you. This desire is generally most strongly felt when the soul is calm, after Holy Communion, and in time of retreat. - I have not always explicitly talked about the religious life. Why? Because I was obedient to you, my parents. I trusted that you knew what was best for me when I was young. I had very little knowledge then of the world, the horrible state of affairs that it is currently in now. When in the POG Church (People of God Church) the sect that mother is in (which claims Catholicity), I thought about the priesthood. I thought about what it would be like to stand up there and preach as a Catholic Priest. There are many of times, I wanted to read the Bible front to back. I tried a couple times starting off. But the old English, made it very difficult for me to understand when I was little, and I quickly gave up. I did not persevere in reading the Holy Bible, now later on in life, I wish I would have read. But how, you may ask, that I wish to be a Catholic priest? Lets turn back the hand of time, allegorically speaking, to more recent events. I took the degree Mechanical Engineering through love and obedience to you my parents. Secondly to follow the foot steps of my brother, whom sadly, I was jealous of his success, in nearly everything. Thirdly having such a degree, I would have the “Perfect Life” I always had planned. From the age of eight years old I thought about marriage. And the kind of woman, I would wish to marry, etc. But what happened? What went wrong, you ask? I answer: Nothing went wrong at all in retrospect, but everything is going according to plan! You ask, “how so?” “For my thoughts are 5. Romans 12:1-2 6. Vocations, Page: 7 7. Jeremias 1:5-8

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not your thoughts: nor your ways my ways, saith the Lord.” 8 “For I am the Lord thy God, a jealous God.” 9 It is He that deserves supreme love, not creatures, not sinful passions, nor other graven things. God says, “my delights were to be with the children of men.” 10 And what happened to this marriage? Was it for God? Where was God in this “Perfect Life” I had created? Nowhere! So we now see that this marriage was not based upon the foundation of virtue, but that of vice, we must look further. “Then the angel Raphael said to him: Hear me, and I will shew thee who they are, over whom the devil can prevail. For they who in such manner receive matrimony, as to shut out God from themselves, and from their mind, and to give themselves to their lust, as the horse and mule, which have not understanding, over them the devil hath power. But thou when thou shalt take her, go into the chamber, and for three days keep thyself continent from her, and give thyself to nothing else but to prayers with her. And the third night, thou shalt obtain a blessing that sound children may be born of you. And when the third night is past, thou shalt take the virgin with the fear of the Lord, moved rather for love of children than for lust, that in the seed of Abraham thou mayst obtain a blessing in children.” 11 Look around you my dear parents, how many are virgins are there? “Among adults 25–44 years of age, 97 percent of men and 98 percent of women have had vaginal intercourse.” 12 Two to three percent are virgins, in the United States among men and women! Alas, what sorrow! I will be “as the lily among thorns.” 13 “As long as modesty will not be put into practice, the society will continue to degrade. Society reveals what it is by the clothes it wears.” 14

8. Isaias 55:8 9. Deuteronomy 5:9 10. Proverbs 8:31 11. Tobias 6: 16-18, 21-22 12. Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States, 2002 By: William D. Mosher, Ph.D.; Anjani Chandra, Ph.D.; and Jo Jones, Ph.D., Division of Vital Statistics (Page:1) 13. Canticles 2:2 14. Pope Pius XII, Dressing With Dignity, Page: 123

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“Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them. Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.” 15 “The day of Ireland’s greatest glory was the time when the land was covered with a golden network of schools and monasteries; when her missioners and nuns were to be found in every clime and country; when every tenth Irishman and woman was consecrated to God and His service. “If our country would be born again,” wrote Thomas Francis Meagher, “she must be baptized once more in the old Irish holy well.” This is the work that lies before you, the work God looks to you to do – strengthening the Faith that St. Patrick, St. Francis Xavier, St. Alphonsus and other saints left us, preaching the truth to an unbelieving world, sacrificing yourselves, as your ancestors did before, leaving home and friends, and, for the sake of God, giving your life that others may be saved.” 16 “If God has called you to the religious life or to the holy priesthood, your Guardian Angel will protect you from the temptations of the world and help you to preserve your virginal 17 purity, to offer it to God at the altar by your holy vows or to offer the sacred Body of Christ with unstained hands and holy lips as a priest of the Most High.” 18 “It is certain that a child preserved in its innocence by a good education is more precious treasure in the eyes of God than all the kingdoms of the world.” 19 By getting the degree Mechanical Engineering, I was going to continue to lead a godless, pagan, sinful life, worthy of the most bottom pits of Hell, lose my virginity, and most sadly lose God our Ultimate Goodness. But it is through the failing of those two tests in those engineering classes, that made me quit this world, and with the grace of God, I hope to save my soul. “For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?” 20 15. Muhammad Ali, Dressing With Dignity, Page: 29 16. Vocations, Page: 22 17. Definition of Virginal: 1. of pertaining to, characteristic of, or befitting a virgin: virginal purity. 2. Continuing in a state of virginity 18. The Guardian Angels Our Heavenly Companions 19. The Autobiography of St. Anthony Mary Claret, Page: 79 20. Mark 8:36

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How do these following stories tie in with your first point? -“But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat. For in what day soever thou shalt eat of it, thou shalt die the death.” 21 Death is a punishment for original and actual sin committed by us and our first parents Adam and Eve. I realized at that point in time that I will die, some day. The next second, the next hour, the next day, when I do not know. But I do know that I will die. So I was terrified and utterly afraid as any worldly soul would be! And at that point in time I told God I will follow His way, and to do His will in all simplicity. Thy will be done. Is that not what Catholics repeat every time they say an Our Father: “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven?” This time it was with all seriousness and whatever humility I might have had, if any. The beautiful thing about this story is that I obeyed you my parents to the best of my ability, with the help of God's grace, that your expressive wish be fulfilled. However, God who having supreme command over my soul and body, who made me out of the dust and ashes of the earth, with the divine likeness of Himself, has the highest priority to my love, compared to you my dear parents. God gets supreme love first, as the first commandment tells us. After becoming extremely mentally strained in studying mechanical engineering, to the point as wishing death to come first, hoping God would end this miserable agony that I was in, than to be a disgrace to you my dear parents. Does that not show you the love that I had for you? That I would rather die than to disobey you or be in your disgraces? 22 Is that not what Jesus Christ did for His mother and His father? “He humbled himself, becoming obedient unto death, even to the death of the cross.” 23 There have been many times that I prayed for perseverance in mechanical engineering thinking that it was my vocation. Firstly I thought it was true since it came from you my dear father and mother. Does not the Fourth Commandment say, “Honor thy father and thy mother, that thou mayest be long lived upon the land which the Lord thy God will give thee.” 24 But after failing two engineering exams in two different classes, and with the impossibility of me passing, God woke up my eyes to reality. My vocation was truly not in engineering. Although you my dear parents thought otherwise. I have tried my dear parents for the last twenty years 25 to follow what your will was for me, that is mechanical engineering, it is now time for me to do God's will, that is the religious life. “Master, which is the greatest commandment in the law? Jesus said to him: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like to this: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments dependeth the whole law and the prophets.” 26 (After each of these points I ask, you the reader, to read the story that each sections corresponds with for a better understanding. See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: Calmness and Peacefulness & The Dream Of The Blessed Mother) 2. A growing attraction for prayer and holy things in general, together with a longing for a hidden life and a desire to be more closely united to God. - “But even though the adulterer may escape the punishment of death, he does not escape the great pains and torments that often overtake such sins as his. He becomes afflicted with blindness of mind, a most serve punishment; he is lost to all regard for God, for reputation, for honor, for family, and even for life; and thus, utterly abandoned and worthless, he is undeserving of confidence in any matter of moment, and becomes unfitted to discharge any kind of duty. Of this we find examples in the persons of David and of Solomon. David had no sooner fallen into the crime of adultery than he degenerated into a character the very reverse of what he had been before; from the mildest of men he became so cruel as to consign to death Urias, one of his most deserving subjects. Solomon, having abandoned himself to the lust of women, gave up the true religion to follow strange gods. This sin, therefore, as Osee observes, takes away man's heart and often 21. Genesis 2:17 22. I fear of disobeying God, and to disobey God is to sin. 23. Philippians 2:8 24. Council of Trent, Page: 408 25. I was born in the year of 1987. 26. Matthew 22:36-40

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blinds his understanding.” 27 From the age of twelve, until the age of twenty, I was steeped in the most abominable lusts. I worked out physically at college to attain and gratify more wicked pleasures. I was in an ocean of iniquity and sins. I should have drowned (in the literal sense, damned to Hell). However, miraculously by the grace, infinite mercy of God, and by the prayers of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I did not lose my virginity. So bad was my perversity, that I ended up almost losing my virginity to a woman. After the events with that woman, I repented to her that I have made a grave mistake. She wept because she wanted a boyfriend, and lost the opportunity of having one. I wept because I almost lost my virginity, my faith, and my God. “Our body is the most powerful weapon the devil possesses to make us his slaves. On this account it is seldom that a man comes forth victorious from this conflict. 'The struggle for chastity,' says St. Augustine, 'is the most violent of all; the battle is renewed everyday, and victory is rare.'” 28 “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, who didst rise in the morning? how art thou fallen to the earth, that didst wound the nations?” 29 Oh God how far down I have fallen from the state of innocence after the fountain of Baptism, how alike I am to that of Satan, full of iniquities and sins! God grant me the grace, of a perfect act of contrition, and spare me not of thy chastisement in this world, but spare me from the next, oh Just God! “The disciples relates, that there was a poor sinner who, among other crimes which he had committed, had killed his father and a brother, and therefore was a fugitive. One day in Lent, hearing a sermon on the Divine mercy, he went to confess his sins to the preacher himself. The confessor, on hearing the enormous crimes which he had committed, sent him to an altar of Mary in Sorrow, that she might obtain him contrition, and the pardon of his sins. The sinner obeyed, and began to pray; when, behold, he suddenly dropped down dead from excess of grief. On the following day, when the priest recommended the deceased to the prayers of the people, a white dove appeared in the church, and let a card drop at his feet. The priest took it up, and found the following words written upon it: The soul of the deceased, on leaving his body, went straight to heaven. Continue thou to preach the infinite mercy of God.” 30 “For if a man live chastely all his life, it is God who preserves him; if he be converted from immorality to a pure life, it is God who reforms him; and if he continue in his disorder till the end, it is also God who justly forsakes him.” 31 How can I not have a growing attraction for prayer? The only things that kills prayer, is not to have a solitude life, and to lead a worldly one! “And standing behind at his feet, she began to wash his feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. And the Pharisee, who had invited him, seeing it, spoke within himself, saying: This man, if he were a prophet, would know surely who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him, that she is a sinner. And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to say to thee. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two debtors, the one who owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. And whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both. Which therefore of the two loveth him most? Simon answering, said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to him: Thou hast judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said unto Simon: Dost thou see this woman? I entered into thy house, thou gavest me no water for my feet; but she with tears hath washed my feet, and with her hairs hath wiped them. Thou gavest me no kiss; but she, since she came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet. My head with oil thou didst not anoint; but she with ointment hath anointed my feet. Wherefore I say to thee: Many sins are forgiven her, because she hath loved much. But to whom less is forgiven, he loveth less. And he said to her: Thy sins are forgiven thee. And they that sat ate meat with him began to say within themselves: Who is this that forgiveth sins also? And he said to the woman: Thy faith hath made thee safe, go in peace.” 32 Do you think I do I not wish to flee this world? After eight years in being in 27. Council of Trent, Page: 436 28. Twelve Steps to Holiness, Page: 92 29. Isaias 14:12 (Catholic Commentary) "O Lucifer"... O day star. All this, according to the letter, is spoken of the king of Babylon. It may also be applied, in a spiritual sense, to Lucifer the prince of devils, who was created a bright angel, but fell by pride and rebellion against God. 30. The Glories of Mary, Page: 456 31. The Sinner's Guide, Page 45 32. Luke 7:38-50 (Catholic Commentary) "Many sins are forgiven her, because she hath loved much"... In the scripture an

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the most horrible vices, do you think I wish to perish with the obstinate sinners? I wish to do penance for all of my sins on this earth. To do penance one must pray and mortify his passions most rigorously. “Through many tribulations we must enter into the kingdom of God.” 33 Just as you weed your garden for dangerous plants that might kill your crops, I must weed out imperfections and faults in my soul so that I may become a Saint! It is also another reason why I wish to leave the world and it is because of sin. Sin is the root of all that is evil, ever since the fall of Adam and Eve. Sin is contrary to the will of God. “Now, the will of God is the perfection of God Himself, holy, just, pure, merciful, true; and anything contrary to these perfections in thought, word, or deed is sin. The conformity of man to the will of God, to the perfections of God, is the sanctity or the perfection of the human soul; and the more he is conformed to the will of God, the holier and more perfect he is. Therefore, to be at variance with God is to be deformed; and the monstrous deformity of the human frame is not more humbling nor more hideous-nay, it is not humbling and hideous, compared with the deformity of the soul. When the soul is unlike to God, when it is departed from the perfection of God, when instead of purity there is impurity, instead of justice there is injustice, instead of truth there is falsehood, instead of mercy there is cruelty, instead of the perfections of God there is the direct contrary of those perfections; no deformity or hideousness that can strike the eye is so terrible.” 34 How do these following stories tie in with your second point? - Longing of the Holy Eucharist was the beginning of my spiritual life, holiness, and Sainthood. The seed to which the fruit grows. How can any Catholic while retaining the name Christian not love the Holy Eucharist? To eat the Holy Eucharist, which is the body and blood of Our Lord, that is God Almighty, whom is infinite sanctity and perfection itself, does that not inflame a Christian with Divine Love of God? We must however, get rid all that is unholy, that is self love, and embrace this heavenly food! “Besides the benefits which we ask in holy Mass, our good God grants many others which we do not ask. St. Jerome distinctly declares, Absque dubio dat nobis Dominus quod in Missa petimus; et qoud magis est, sape dat quod non petimus (cap. cum. mart. de celeb Miss.). “Without doubt,” says the saint, “the Lord grants all the favors which are asked of Him in Mass, provided they be those fitting for us; and, which is a matter of greater wonder, ofttimes He grants that also which is not demanded of Him, if we, on our part, put no obstacle in the way.” Whence it may be said that Mass is the sun of the human race, scattering its splendors over good and wicked; nor is there a soul so vile on earth who, hearing holy Mass, do not carry away from it some great good, often without asking, often without even thinking of it. This is the lesson conveyed by the famous legend told by St. Antoninus of two youths, both libertines, who went one day into the forest, one of them having heard Mass, the other not. Soon, it is said, there arose a furious tempest, and they heard, amid thunder and lighting, a voice which cried “Slay!” and instantly came a flash which reduced to ashes the one who had not heard Mass. The other, all terrified, was seeking escape, when he heard anew the same voice, which repeated “Slay!” The poor youth expected instant death, when lo! he heard another voice, which answered, “I cannot, I cannot; today he heard, Verbum caro factum est; his Mass will not let me strike.” 35 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: The Love of the Holy Eucharist & Longing For The Holy Eucharist) 3. To have a hatred of the world, a conviction of its hollowness and insufficiency to satisfy the soul. This feeling is generally strongest in the midst of worldly amusement. - “Love not the world, nor the things which are in the world. If any man love the world, the charity of the Father is not in effect sometimes seems attributed to one only cause, when there are divers other concurring dispositions; for the sins of this woman, in this verse, are said to be forgiven, because she loved much: but (ver. 50) Christ tells her, Thy faith hath made thee safe. Hence in a true conversion are joined faith, hope, love, sorrow for sin, and other pious dispositions. 33. Acts Of Apostles 14:21 34. Sin and its Consequences, Page: 4 35. The Hidden Treasure Holy Mass, Pages: 41-42

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him.” 36 When people think of the word charity, they suppose it is some philanthropic organization which gives to the poor. Yes, that is partly corporeal Christian charity. Charity is more than just giving to the poor, it is to pray for the poor souls in purgatory, praying to forgive when a person has done wrong to you. That is charity. Charity does not embrace sin nor self love, since God being supreme charity made men unto the likeness of Himself. He gave us the supreme example of charity. When one loves the world he quickly forgets Christian virtues, corporeal and spiritual mercies. He who loves the world loves the devil and self love. “And the devil led him into a high mountain, and shewed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And he said to him: To thee will I give all this power, and the glory of them; for to me they are delivered: and to whom I will, I give them. If thou therefore wilt adore before me, all shall be thine.” 37 Both self love and the devil cannot be far from sin. But if a Christian hates the world, which the world embraces sin, he will notice the vanity and begin to weep over the sins which he previously committed, they will be great misery to him. In addition, he will weep for others, who so blindly run the wrong path, which is to Hell. How I ask you, in this life of misery, can anyone find any solid joy without mingled in with sorrow? One might have the joy of sin, but it is the blindness and hardness of their hearts that hides the horrible state they are in. I guarantee wretched and obstinate sinners will not find joy in this world when they are on their death beds. But true joy exists elsewhere. Do not the wicked often get away and the just are often go unrewarded in this world? In that sense, it would be horrible to assume God is unjust. God being infinitely perfect in every virtue, must have a greater reason having the just go unrewarded on earth and the wicked seemingly prosper? Do we not believe in the Church's teaches that God punishes the wicked and reward the just? Is that not what the general judgment is about, to reward the just and punish the wicked? “And he spoke also a parable to them, that we ought always to pray, and not to faint, Saying: There was a judge in a certain city, who feared not God, nor regarded man. And there was a certain widow in that city, and she came to him, saying: Avenge 38 me of my adversary. And he would not for a long time. But afterwards he said within himself: Although I fear not God, nor regard man, Yet because this widow is troublesome to me, I will avenge her, lest continually coming she weary me. And the Lord said: Hear what the unjust judge saith. And will not God revenge his elect who cry to him day and night: and will he have patience in their regard? I say to you, that he will quickly revenge them. But yet the Son of man, when he cometh, shall he find, think you, faith on earth? 39 To love the world is to cease being a Christian and to become a pagan. Pagans do not believe in Jesus Christ, nor in the resurrection of the body, so they enjoy the little happiness that they might obtain on earth. God grant they do not commit sin! But to hate the world, is to be a servant of the King of Kings, that is Jesus Christ. For “my kingdom is not of this world.” 40 How do these following stories tie in with your third point? - These two stories made me think: “What is the point of engineering?” If it does nothing to assist at my salvation, but rather hinders it, is that not hurtful? If you wish to see today's social problem read this footnote. 41 From my point of view, I was 36. 1 John 2:15 37. Luke 4:5-7 38. "Avenge"... That is, do me justice. It is a Hebraism. 39. Luke 18:1-8 40. John 18:36 41. “On the other hand, as St. Augustine often reminds us, the same spiritual treasure can belong in its entirety to all men, and at the same time to each, without any disturbance of peace between them. Indeed, the more there are to enjoy them in common the more completely do we possess them. The same truth, the same virtue, the same God, can belong to us all in like manner, and yet none of us embarrasses his fellow – possessors. Such are the inexhaustible riches of the spirit that they can be the property of all and yet satisfy the desires of each. Indeed, only then do we possess a truth completely when we teach it to others, when we make others share our contemplation; only then do we truly love a virtue when we wish others to love it also; only then do we wholly love God when we desire to make Him loved by all. Give money away, or spend it, and it is no longer yours. But give God to others, and you possess Him more fully for yourself. We may Go even further and say that, if we desired only one soul to be deprived of Him, we excluded only one soul- even the soul of one who persecutes and calumniates us-from our own love, then God Himself would be lost to us....This truth, so simple and yet so sublime, gives

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becoming more godless and to the point of losing my faith through obtaining this degree than if I were not to get it. After failing both of my engineering exams, due to apathy to the subject, depression, lack of sleep, and many other contributing factors, a love for my faith came back to me. Theology, lives of the Saints, the four last things (Death, Judgment, Heaven, Hell). Ah, if men addressed these truths today! Engineering is taught today is with an atheistic, materialistic, and modernistic point of view, totally destroying the ideas of Catholicism from the very foundation. “For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?” 42 Engineering could in no way solved this problem. Thus it is why I abandoned it. If however, it could solve the answer, I might have stayed, but there is no way that it could. Would you use a hammer to turn a screw into a hole? Would you use a screw driver to drive a nail into a wall? They are both foolish things to do, and both obtain bad results, if not failing horribly beforehand. So why would I want to try and attempt to save my soul in a subject matter, that does not have within its ability to explain things that are spiritual but only material? Nor does it address ethics, morality, and the truths of the faith. Nor can engineering solve our social and economic problems, but rather corrupts them and makes them worse as explained in the footnote. (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: The Brown Scapular, Our Lady of Fatima, & Take Up The Standard Of The Cross) 4. A fear of sin, into which it is easy to fall, and a longing to escape from the dangers and temptations of the world. - “For a just mall shall fall seven times and shall rise again: but the wicked shall fall down into evil.” 43 If a blind man were to be in danger of falling off a cliff and you were able to warn him of this impending peril, would you not do it? Is that not the way blind obstinate sinners go? They cannot help themselves since they are blind by sin. Do they not need grace, the voice of help, to come back to God? There are many hazards in this life, sin of course in different varieties. Mortal sin is instant death to the immortal soul. Venial although still an infinite offense to God does not kill the soul instantly, but wounds it severely. Ask any doctor, many wounds can however lead to death. If one commits many venial sins that soul is in danger of death, that is committing mortal sin. Lastly we have faults which is similar to stubbing our foot on a stone. One does not get seriously injured by stubbing rise to an illuminating principle: it is that whereas material goods, the more they are sought for their own sake, tend to cause disunion among men, spiritual goods unite men more closely in proportion as they are more greatly loved. This principle helps us to appreciate how necessary is the interior life; and, incidentally, it virtually contains the solution of the social question and of the economic crisis which afflicts the world today. The Gospel puts it very simply: 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.' If the world today is on its death-bed, it is because it has lost sight of a fundamental truth which for every Christian is elementary. The profoundest truths of all, and the most vital, are in fact those elementary verities which, through long meditation and deep thought, have become the norm of our lives; those truths, in other words, which are the object of our habitual contemplation. God is now showing men what a great mistake they make when they try to do without Him, when they regard earthly enjoyment as their highest good, and thus reverse the whole scale of values, or, as the ancient philosophers put it, the subordination of ends. As though in the hope of compensating for the poor quality of earthly goods, men are striving to increase their quantity; they are trying to produce as much as possible in order of material enjoyment. They are constructing machinery with the object of increasing production at a greater profit. This is the ultimate objective. But what is the consequence? The surplus cannot be disposed of; it is wasted, and unemployment is the result. The worker starves in enforced idleness while others die of surfeit. The present state of the world is called a crisis. But in fact it is more than a crisis; it is a condition of affairs which, if men only had eyes to see, ought to be revealing it; it ought to show men that they have sought their last end where it is not to be found, in earthly enjoyment-instead of God. They are seeking happiness in an abundance of material possessions which are incapable of giving it; possessions which sow discord among those that seek them, and a greater discord according as they are sought with greater avidity. Do what you will with these material goods; share them equally, make them the common property of all. It will be no remedy for the evil; for, so long as earthly possessions retain their nature and man retains the nature which is his, he will never find his happiness in them. The remedy is this, and this only: to consider the one thing necessary, and to ask God to give us saints who live only on this thought, saints who will give the world the spirit that it needs. God has always sent us saints in troubled times. We need them especially today.” This was written in the 1950's. The Three Ways Of The Spiritual Life, Page: 2-4 42. Mark 8:36 43. Proverbs 24:16

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our toes, the pain is slighter than that of a wound and death. Let me ask you, who is in more danger. Someone fighting on a battlefield or someone planting crops in some peaceful land? Your answer would be the battlefield. In the midst of pagans who gives themselves over to pleasure, “as to shut out God from themselves, and from their mind, and to give themselves to their lust, as the horse and mule, which have not understanding,” 44 do these pagans care about the Commandments of God and His Church? No they probably do not know the Commandments, 45 let alone live by them. That my friend is a battlefield, when you are surrounded by these godless pagans, and they set themselves in battle array. How I ask can you survive in this battle? How will you escape this nightmare? Then you have those who live in a peaceful village, far away from all the fighting, all the battlefields. Here they faithfully observe the Commandments of God. 46 Do not soldiers who are fighting a battle in some far away land, ought to fear more about dying, then those who live in a peaceful village, who are not fighting a battle? That is the difference between living a life in the world, which is most definite a constant battlefield, always fearing death, that is mortal sin. But those living a life of religious have little to fear if any because it is but a peaceful village. If they are worried, they would fear breaking a bone or an ankle. Is breaking an ankle better than getting killed? Is it not better to commit venial than mortal? (Heaven forbid if we only had two different options, both being sin!). If one fears sin, is that more tempting to live in a godless life with the souls who give themselves over to constant bad example, and always encouraging you to do evil? “For evil men have no hope of things to come.” 47 And if one fear's sin, is there anything more joyous on earth, or anything more pleasant, to see among brothers and sisters, who are virtuous and live a good God fearing life? “And I saw another angel flying through the midst of heaven, having the eternal gospel, to preach unto them that sit upon the earth, and over every nation, and tribe, and tongue, and people: Saying with a loud voice: Fear the Lord, give him honor, because the hour of his judgment is come; and adore ye him, that made heaven and earth, the sea, and the fountains of water.” 48 How do these following stories tie in with your fourth point?- This battle was tough, but the first of many victories with the help of the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. Michael and the faithful angels. One can imagine the numberless sins I have racked up for Satan to accuse me at the seat of judgment! I was at the most deepest, disgusting, and degrading pit of my lusts. So bad was I blinded by my lusts I almost lost my virginity. When I almost lost my virginity to that woman, God humbled my proud self. Because I always considered myself strong enough to resist all temptations against those who wished to take my virginity. But I did not see my flaw, that is I was not able to resist other temptations. And as we all know without God we can do nothing. There are many among us who know what it is like to touch fire, whether over an oven, a campfire, or even a candle. To give a better description of what happened at the battle I will explain, I pray, with modesty. Imagine yourself on a bed or even laying on a floor stretched out. Then think of yourself being touched by fire in every part of your body, sparing nothing. Now translate the pain of fire with the fire of impurity, lusts, and temptations. The duration to the best of my knowledge could not have lasted more then two hours. As the quote below states at the last sentence: “Learn hence, my fiend, how tormenting is the fire of Purgatory when scarcely an hour seems to be thirty years, and learn, too, to have pity on us.” That is exactly what I felt, the temptations might have only lasted thirty or so minutes, but those tormenting temptations made it feel it lasted for hours. “It is related of a religious of St. Dominic that, finding himself at the point of death, he earnestly begged a friend who was a priest to have the goodness, as soon as he was dead, to offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for the repose of his soul. He had scarcely expired when the priest went to the 44. Tobias 6:17 45. What I said was an allegorically expression, because God's Commandments are written on the hearts of all men! 46. As they cross every T and dot every I. 47. Proverbs 24:20 48. Apocalypse 14:6-7

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church and celebrated Mass with devotion for the intention. The Holy Sacrifice being over, he had scarcely taken off the sacred vestments when the deceased religious presented himself to him and rebuked him severely for his hardness of heart in leaving him in the most cruel fire of Purgatory for the long space of thirty years. 'How thirty years?' asked the good priest, in amazement. 'Why, it is not yet an hour since you departed this life, so that your corpse is, so to say, still warm.' To this the poor soul replied: Learn hence, my fiend, how tormenting is the fire of Purgatory when scarcely an hour seems to be thirty years, and learn, too, to have pity on us.” 49 In addition, you have to be completely silent because you live on a quiet floor (at college). That is probably the best way to explain what I was battling. Many have experienced what it is like having burnt our finger and putting it under cold water, what relief, is it not? When I woke up the morning after, grace flowed so abundantly like cold water. Every temptation ceased against chastity, for quite some time, months if I remember correctly. For the first time in eight years, I have had true peace, true freedom, from being a slave of lust. To give you an example, it is like the Israelites leaving the bondage of Egypt and going into the Promised Land. My dear parents after eight years in being in the most horrible vices and finally able to wish to live a virtuous life, what a gift I received from God! Ask any person in prison, open their iron bar cages, tell them that they are pardon of their crimes, would they not leap in joy? Would they not be in happiness? For eight years, I have been in the worst prison imaginable, that is sin. If God would have acted His Justice right away, I would have gone straight to Hell, but He has spared my most wretchedness! “Our Lady too spoke to him one day to inspire him to preach the Holy Rosary more and more: You were a great sinner in your youth, she said, but I obtained the grace of your conversion from my Son. Had such a thing been possible I would have liked to have gone through all kinds of suffering to save you because converted sinners are a glory to me. And I would have done this also to make you worthy of preaching my Rosary far and wide.” 50 Since the Immaculate Virgin receives glory in converting sinners, what must be the glory she had received for converting a wretch like me! (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism:Tempted By The Devil And Evil Spirits & What I Believe To Be A Battle With Devils) 5. It is sometimes the sign of a vocation when a person fears that God may call them; when he prays not to have it and cannot banish the thought from his mind. If the vocation is sound, it will soon give place to an attraction, through Father Lehmkulhl says: “One need not have a natural inclination for the religious life; on the contrary, a divine vocation is compatible with a natural repugnance for the state.” - “St. Cyprian said, that all those that had the true spirit of God were, when compelled to take the order of priesthood, seized with fear and trembling, as if they saw an enormous weight placed on their shoulders, by which they were in danger of being crushed to death. "I see," said St. Cyril of Alexandria, "all the Saints frightened at the sacred ministry, as at an immense charge." St. Epiphanius writes, that he found no one willing to be ordained a priest. A Council held in Carthage ordained that they that were thought worthy, and refused to be ordained, might be compelled to become priests. St. Gregory Nazianzen says: 'No one rejoices when he is ordained priest.' In his life of St. Cyprian, Paul the Deacon states that when the Saint heard that his bishop intended to ordain him priest, he through humility concealed himself." It is related in the life of St. Fulgentius, that he too, fled away and hid himself. St. Athanasius also, as Sozomen relates, took flight in order to escape the priesthood. St. Ambrose, as he himself attests, resisted for a long time before he consented to be ordained. St. Gregory, even after it was made manifest by miracles that God wished him to be a priest, concealed himself under the garb of a merchant, in order to prevent his ordination. To avoid being ordained, St. Ephrem feigned madness; St. Mark cut off his thumb; St. Ammonius cut off his ears and nose, and because the people insisted on his ordination, he threatened to cut out his tongue, and thus they ceased to molest him. It is known to all, that St. Francis remained a deacon, and refused to ascend to the priesthood, because he learned by revelation, that the soul of a priest should be as pure as the water that 49. Thirty Days Devotion to the Holy Souls, An Ursuline Nun of Sligo Ireland, Page: 18 50. The Secret of the Holy Rosary, Page: 23

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was shown to him in a crystal vessel. The Abbot Theodore was only a deacon, but he would not exercise the duties of the Order he had received because during prayer he was shown a pillar of fire, and heard the following words: "If you have a heart as inflamed as this pillar, you may then exercise your Order." The Abbot Motues was a priest, but always refused to offer the holy Mass, saying that he had been compelled to take holy Orders, and that because he felt himself unworthy, he could not celebrate.” 51 I did take notice that I wanted to have a girlfriend before I would rather enter into the priesthood. I would rather flee to a forest than enter the priesthood. I would wish just do about anything then enter into the Catholic Priesthood, because the sanctity it requires to be a priest! I am terrified of the priesthood because of its accountability before God. But I must remind the reader, that I thought about marriage since I was eight years old (about fourth grade). So this is my last obstacle, this is the next big battle I have before entering the priesthood. It is the D-Day of conquering my will, and to more fully submit to God's will. There are two wills, human & divine. Divine is God's Will what He wished since eternity, and former is mine. I did love this woman 52 very deeply, but saving her soul is more important to me. I would rather suffer sorrow, to the point of wishing death, than to lose her soul. I pray that God will use me to save her soul. I was in this sort of mental battle, I wanted to tell her that I loved her dearly, that I would have offered my life and chaste love to her, but then I realized in a matter of time, I will leave for the priesthood. I guess one word would describe it all. Agony. “And thy own soul a sword shall pierce.” 53 I was in agony because I loved her, and I did not want to see her soul lost to the fires of Hell for all eternity. Knowing as well I was leaving for the priesthood also increased my agony, and for that reason I knew that I could never be with her. All I can say, is that if God gave me the grace to suffer a death such as burning at the stake, that suffering would not have been sufficient to prove my love for her. “The chalice which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it?” 54 “A clerical student was playing at ball with other young men; and fearing that he might whilst playing lose a ring which had been given him by a lady, went and place it on the finger of a statue of Mary which was there: he then felt himself inspired to promise the Blessed Virgin that he would renounce the world and choose her for his spouse: he made the promise, and Mary pressed his finger as a sign that she accepted it. After some time he wished to marry another woman. Mary appeared to him, and reproached him with his infidelity; he therefore fled into a desert, where he preserved to the end in a holy life.” 55 How do these following stories tie in with your fifth point? - “And unto whomsoever much is given, of him much shall be required: and to whom they have committed much, of him they will demand the more.” 56 Do people expect more from a king than a peasant? Who has more authority, a priest or a layman? How about a priest to a bishop? How about a bishop to the Pope? What correlation do you see? There is more responsibility and authority. A priest has more than a layman. The same with a bishop over a priest. Finally the Pope over a bishop. One would fear the priesthood because it is a burden of accountability before God. “Horribly and speedily will he appear to you: for a most severe judgment shall be for them that bear rule.” 57 Can we ever prepare enough for such a event that is the judgment of our souls? How much time do we spend in worthless activities that has nothing to do with our spiritual life! (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: The Beginning of a New Life & Fork In The Road)

51. The Dignities and Duties of the Priest, By St. Alphonse Liguori 52. Also known in my paper, My Conversion to Catholicism : As Stargazer 53. Luke 2:35 54. John 18:11 55. The Glories of Mary, Example: #66 56. Luke 12:48 57. Wisdom 6:6

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6. To have zeal for souls. To realize something of the value of an immortal soul, and to desire to co-operate in their salvation. - “Let us make man to our image and likeness.” 58 There are many among us in this world who are atheists and materialists. They willfully and ignorantly ignore the fact that man indeed has a body and a soul. Go look at a fresh dead corpse. Then look at someone who is living. You might declare: “There is no life in him or something is missing from him!” Why then do you attempt to enjoy all these earthly pleasures? Do you now agree that the soul is truly the life not the body? Are not all things spiritual superior to that of the body? Are not angels superior to men? Now realize this, if there is death to a body, is there not death to the soul? I do not mean death of the soul as atheists think of it, a complete and utter disappearance of the soul, but rather death to God. Is God not a Living God? “Fear not. I am the First and the Last, And alive, and was dead, and behold I am living for ever and ever, and have the keys of death and of hell.” 59 As we can see from Holy Scripture, there is death, that is of the body, and Hell for those who rebel against God are punished, so they die to God. Holy Scripture is true stating that God is living then there must be a contrast, death. Those that rebel and live a wicked life. There are many among us who fear death. I categorize them in three types. There are those who are dead to God, so blind, so harden in sin they wont realize it until falling into Hell. These are the people who God forsakes, they are to be pitied. “For evil men have no hope of things to come, and the lamp of the wicked shall be put out.” 60 The second type of fear of God is whenever this soul thinks of their last end, they know quiet well that they have not lived a good life, but rather a scandalous one. To these people I say, you wish to now why you are fearful of death? Your soul is burden with the love of sin. You might justly fear mortal sin, but you indulge yourselves in venial sins thinking you are safe from committing mortal sin. To admonish this poor soul, “because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold, nor hot, I will begin to vomit thee out of my mouth.” 61 It is as if Jesus Christ said to this poor soul: "You did not have the flaming pillar of charity and purity of intention you ought to have conducted in your life, which the Divine Graces I have given you should have enabled you to do them with ease. The Divine Graces that I have given you, should have made your pilgrimage on Earth feel more like a banquet at a King's feast. Nor did you lead a scandalous life of a devil, which would have made my judgment on your soul with ease. I would have cursed you to Hell just like I did to the barren fig tree, the Devil, and his angels. So I stand at the Throne of Infinite Divine Justice and Sanctity disgusted, I wish to vomit you from my presence with all My Power, because of the thought that such a soul, bore the name Christian." These are the souls that are on the fence of being damned or saved. There is our final and last category. The souls of the just, who having lived a good life in the eyes of many people. The people themselves might even consider this soul to be a saint. But the pious soul fears one thing, purgatory. All the faults she must atoned for. Although the soul has a clean conscience, she is terrified of her judgment because God is infinite sanctity and justice. There is indeed a sign on the gates of Heaven. It states: “There shall not enter into it any thing defiled.” 62 “When I consider the blindness of those who, for the sake of things so vile and little, allow themselves to be stupidly led away into the abyss of such horrible and infinite woe, all that is within me is moved by a great compassion. In this connection I recall a possessed person who was forced by a religious to declare who he was: he cried out with great force: I am that wretch who is deprived of love. He said this with a voice so piteous and penetrating that inwardly I was willed with pity, especially when I was hearing those words, Deprived of love.” 63 How do these following stories tie in with your sixth point? - After I had left college, I believed that Benedict 16 could not be the pope. I did follow the traditionalist band wagon for about a month or so. I 58. Genesis 1:26 59. Apocalypse 1:17-18 60. Proverbs 24:16-20 61. Apocalypse 3:16 62. Apocalypse 21:27 63. The Spiritual Doctrine of Saint Catherine of Genoa, Page 51

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was a 'traditionalist' in the sense I wished to follow the true Church. More or less I was a lost Catholic wanting to find his home. And to follow the Church is to follow the Apostolic tradition and unadulterated doctrine for over the last two thousand years. I was ignorant of one thing that is necessary to be Catholic. “Furthermore, we declare, we proclaim, we define that it is absolutely necessary for salvation that every human creature be subject to the Roman Pontiff.” 64 Due to my poor memory, I cannot recall if I had vowed to find the Church or had a strong resolution. Up until I had found Pope Michael, I considered myself a lost Catholic. A Catholic who could not find his beloved Church. A Catholic who's Church which Jesus Christ founded, so desecrated, so abandoned nearly by all. The Church which is blameless, “Behold my beloved speaketh to me: Arise, make haste, my love, my dove, my beautiful one, and come.” 65 The Church is falsely accused of doing wicked deeds because of pedophiles and sodomites. The Church which takes after its master, Jesus Christ, is hated by the Jews for no just reason. “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered together thy children, as the hen doth gather her chickens under her wings, and thou wouldest not?” 66 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: The Transition After College) “During the 1950’s, the association, "Advocates of Our Lady," of Chicago, Illinois, featured in their newsletter, Alerte!, #28, the report below:"In the London Catholic Gazette of February 1936, was published a sensational article under the heading: "The Jewish Peril and the Catholic Church." The monthly organ of the Catholic Missionary Society of England was quoting speeches delivered in a series of secret Jewish meetings in Paris. A few weeks later, the Parisian weekly, Le Revell du Peuple, published a similar account, adding that the statements had been made at a recent convention of the B’naiB’rith (Secret Masonic order into which no Gentile is admitted) held in Paris. The article of the Catholic Gazette read as follows: That there has been and still is a Jewish problem, no one can deny. Since the rejection of Israel, 1900 years ago, the Jews have scattered in every direction, and in spite of difficulties and even persecution, they have established themselves as a power in nearly every nation of Europe. Jacobs, in his Jewish Contributions to Civilization, glories in the fact that without detriment to their own racial unity and International character, the Jews have been able to spread their doctrines and increase their political, social and economic influence among the nations. In view of this Jewish problem, which affects the Catholic Church in a special way, we publish the following amazing extracts from a number of speeches recently made under the auspices of a Jewish society in Paris. The name of our informant must remain concealed. He is personally known to us, but by reason of his peculiar relations with the Jews at the present time, we have agreed not to disclose his identity nor to give any further details of the Paris meeting beyond the following extracts which, though sometimes freely translated, nevertheless substantially convey the meaning of the original statement (Editor’s Note). As long as there remains among the Gentiles any moral conception of the social order, and until all faith, patriotism, and dignity are uprooted, our reign over the world shall not come. We have already fulfilled part of our work, but we cannot yet claim that the whole of our work is done. We have still a long way to go before we can overthrow our main opponent: the Catholic Church... We must always bear in mind that the Catholic Church is the only institution which has stood, and which will, as long as it remains in existence, stand in our way. The Catholic Church, with her methodical work and her edifying and moral teachings, will always keep her children in such a state of mind, as to make them too self-respecting to yield to our domination, and to bow before our future 64. Pope Boniface VIII, Encyclical Unam Sanctam, 1302 65. Canticles 2:10 66. Matthew 23:37

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King of Israel. That is why we have been striving to discover the best way of shaking the Catholic Church to her very foundations. We have spread the spirit of revolt and false liberalism among the nations of the Gentiles... to persuade them away from their faith and even to make them ashamed of professing the precepts of their Religion and obeying the Commandments of their Church. We have brought many of them to boast of being atheists, and more than that, to glory in being descendants of the ape! We have given them new theories, impossible of realization, such as Communism, Anarchism, and Socialism, which are now serving our purposes. The stupid Gentiles have accepted them with the greatest enthusiasm, without realizing that those theories are ours, and that they constitute our most powerful instrument against themselves... We have blackened the Catholic Church with the most ignominious calumnies. We have blackened her history and disgraced even her noblest activities. We have imputed to her the wrongs of her enemies, and have thus brought these latter to stand more closely by our side. So much so, that we are now witnessing, to our greatest satisfaction, rebellions against the Church in several countries. We have turned her Clergy into objects of hatred and ridicule, we have subjected them to the contempt of the crowd. We have caused the practice of the Catholic religion to be considered out of date and a mere waste of time... And the Gentiles, in their stupidity, have proved easier dupes than we expected them to be. One would expect more intelligence and more practical common sense, but they are no better than a herd of sheep. Let them graze in our fields till they become fat enough to be worthy of being immolated to our future King of the world... We have founded many secret associations, which all work for our purpose, under our orders and our directions. We have made it an honor, a great honor, for the Gentiles to join us in our organizations, which are, thanks to our gold, flourishing now more than ever. Yet it remains our secret that those Gentiles who betray their own and most precious interests, by joining us in our plot, should never know that those associations are of our creation, and that they serve our purpose. One of the many triumphs of our Freemasonry is that those Gentiles who become members of our lodges, should never suspect that we are using them to build their own jails, upon whose terraces we shall erect the throne of our Universal King of Israel; and should never know that we are commanding them to forge the chains of their own servility to our future King of the World. So far, we have considered our strategy in our attacks upon the Catholic Church from the outside. But this is not all. Let us now explain how we have gone further in our work, to hasten the ruin of the Catholic Church and how we have penetrated into her most intimate circles, and brought even some of her Clergy to become pioneers of our cause. Apart altogether from the influence of our philosophy, we have taken other steps to secure a breach in the Catholic Church. Let me explain how this has been done. We have induced some of our children to join the Catholic body, with the explicit intimation that they should work in a still more efficient way for the disintegration of the Catholic Church, by creating scandals within her. We have thus followed the advice of our Prince of the Jews, who so wisely said: 'Let some of your children become canons, so that they may destroy the Church.' Unfortunately, not all among the 'convert' Jews have proved faithful to their mission. Many of them have even betrayed us! But, on the other hand, others have kept their promise and honored their word. Thus, the counsel of our Elders has proved successful. We are the Fathers of all Revolutions—even of those which sometimes happen to turn against us. We are the supreme Masters of Peace and War. We can boast of being the Creators of the REFORMATION! Calvin was one of our Children; he was of Jewish descent, and was entrusted by Jewish authority and encouraged with Jewish finance to draft his scheme in the Reformation. Martin Luther yielded to the influence of his Jewish friends, and again, by Jewish authority, and with Jewish finance his plot against the Catholic Church met 16

with success. Thanks to our propaganda, to our theories of Liberalism and to our misrepresentations of Freedom, the minds of many among the Gentiles were ready to welcome the Reformation. They separated from the Church to fall into our snare. And thus the Catholic Church has been very sensibly weakened, and her authority over the Kings of the Gentiles has been reduced almost to naught. We are grateful to Protestants for their loyalty to our wishes—although most of them are, in the sincerity of their faith, unaware of their loyalty to us. We are grateful to them for the wonderful help they are giving us in our fight against the stronghold of Christian Civilization, and in our preparations for the advent of our supremacy over the whole world and over the Kingdoms of the Gentiles. So far, we have succeeded in overthrowing most of the Thrones of Europe. The rest will follow in the near future. Russia has already worshiped our rule. France, with her Masonic Government, is under our thumb. England, in her dependence upon our finance, is under our heel; and in her Protestantism is our hope for the destruction of the Catholic Church. Spain and Mexico are but toys in our hands. And many other countries, including the U. S. A., have already fallen before our scheming. But the Catholic Church is still alive... We must destroy her without the least delay and without the slightest mercy. Most of the Press in the world is under our Control; let us therefore encourage in a still more violent way the hatred of the world against the Catholic Church. Let us intensify our activities in poisoning the morality of the Gentiles. Let us spread the spirit of revolution in the minds of the people. They must be made to despise Patriotism and the love of their family to consider their faith as a humbug, their obedience to their Church as a degrading servility, so that they may become deaf to the appeal of the Church and blind to her warnings against us. Let us, above all, make it impossible for Christians outside the Catholic Church to be reunited with that Church or for non-Christians to join the Church; otherwise the greatest obstruction to our domination will be strengthened and all our work undone. Our plot will be unveiled, the Gentiles will turn against us, in the spirit of revenge, and our domination over them will never be realized. Let us remember that as long as there still remain active enemies of the Catholic Church, we may hope to become Masters of the World . . . [nevertheless] the future Jewish King will never reign in the world before the pope in Rome is dethroned as well as all the other reigning Monarchs of the Gentiles upon earth.” 67 The Jews and Freemasons have done nearly everything in their power (permitted by God because of our sins) to desecrate the Church. The Church that once casted by its waste side slavery, which enslaved man in paganism. The Church raised women to a higher dignity in marriage compared to what they were in paganism. The Church formed the countries France, Germany, England, Scotland, and the rest of Europe and brought it to a union which it never knew before. This union was called Christendom. The Church gave us chivalrous knights, men who lived by justice and reeked havoc on the wicked. “Do no violence to the poor, because he is poor: and do not oppress the needy in the gate: Because the Lord will judge his cause, and will afflict them that have afflicted his soul.” 68 Chivalry, Léon Gautier, Page 42-44: “The primitive Church enlarged hitherto narrow ideas, and widows were considered by her as the Altar of the Lord. They occupied almost the very first place in the hierarchy of the poor as detailed by Christ, and they eventually formed on order of their own. St. Chrysostom did not shrink from declaring that without them the plenitude of the Church would not have attained its entire perfection. “As regards orphans, the Church was equally concerned with them. She gave them occupations, brought them up, married them, and finally opened wide for them the gates of Orphanotophia. All these Christian traditions were absorbed into chivalry, and no 67. http://www.geocities.com/prakashjm45/jmc.html 68. Proverbs 22:22-23

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two things bear more resemblance to one another than do the precepts of the Apostolic Constitutions, and the most beautiful pages of our old romances. But here again we must be careful to guard against exaggeration. In face of a society so gross, and so armed as was feudal society, it was not expedient to proceed after the manner of the primitive Church. Instead of saying to our barons, You must defend the widow and the orphan, it was necessary to being by saying, “You shall do them no wrong;” then a little later, “You shall not permit anyone to do them harm.” That was the order which was followed or encouraged by the Church. “Animated by the same spirit, and feeling the approach of death, Charlemagne charged his son not to deprive orphans of their fiefs, nor widows of their little remaining money. But the son was, alas! Too quickly unmindful of his father's injunctions, and in the Charrori de Nimes we have him cynically suggesting to Count William to bestow upon him the fiefs of such and such a baron who was about to die. But Count William was not one of those persons who listen patiently to such propositions as these. He revolted at the idea, and was very much enraged. He bounded up – “And their widows, and their orphans,” he cried, “what will become of them?” “The king grew pale, and trembled beneath the contempt of William, when he exclaimed- “If anyone injures those little ones or their land, here is my sword that shall cut of the head of any such traitor or robber.” So said this true knight. “And no one dared to face that vengeful sword, nor him who bore it. “In the Entree en Espagne it is clearly laid down that the knight is bound before all things to assist the succor the widow and the orphan. It was not a certain category of wretched ones nor a certain class of human weakness that the knight was bound to defend; it was, all the weak, all the poor, all the littles ones, who had a prescriptive right to his protection. Charlemagne, on his death bed, bade his son humiliate himself before the poor. 'Before them be of no reputation. Give them help and counsel.' “The 'Ordene de Chevalerie,' which we quote here for the last time, is naturally much more precise and more fully expressed. 'The duty of the knight is to constitute himself the guardian, the protector, of the poor, so that the rich shall never injure them.' And the poet adds, 'The duty of the knight is to sustain the weak so that the strong shall never oppress them.' “Besides, the Church had anticipated him. In the most ancient mass book, in which one can read the prayers composed for the benediction of a knight used in a ceremonial in the opening years of the eleventh century, the Christian soldier is invited 'to be the living protection of all weaknesses;' and in the thirteenth century, at the consecration of a knight in the basilica of Saint Peter's, the Arch-Priest said solemnly to him “Be thou the defender and the bold champion of the Church, the widow, and the orphan!” The Trial Of Jeanne D'Arc, By: W. P. Barrett, Pages 538-539: “The words of the Trial, Jeanne's sacred words, you will find here. And Jeanne assures us that the Voices told her: "Suffer it willingly, do not be at all disturbed about your martyrdom: you will at last come to the Kingdom of Paradise." "Suffer it willingly" -- the admirable phrase of the simple, the very phrase that Fortune addressed to poor Villon.” “According to the witness of the Preaching Friars, of an old archdeacon and Pierre Maurice, the theologian, an old canon and Thomas de Courcelles, that intellectual light agreeable to the gentry of the Council, as revealed in a posthumous publication in which they attempted to explain again their attitude, Jeanne is supposed to have said on the last day of her life that she herself was the angel. “A statement interpreted, perhaps, in a sense that Jeanne did not mean it, but conforming with all that we know of her despair, while 18

the cold sweat ran down her young face in the cell which was her Gethsemane. A falsehood which is full of meaning. It is true that she was an angel. A poet tells us that -a noble poet of the time, the Parisian canon who was secretary to Charles VII, Messer Alain Chartier: "And she did not seem to come from any land, but rather she seemed as one sent from Heaven to support our failing France in her arms. She guided to shore, and even into port, a king tossed and struggling in the buffets of wind and tempests; she raised the spirit of the people to hope for better times. She curbed savage England and stopped the spoiling and burning of France. O worthy virgin, worthy of all glory, all praise, worthy of divine honors! O honor of the kingdom, O light of the lily; thou art the light, thou art the glory, not only of the French, but of all Christians! Let Troy no longer rejoice in the memory of Hector; let Greece no longer triumph with her Alexander, nor Africa with her Hannibal; let Italy no longer take pride in her Caesar and other great captains of Rome. And thou, France, even though thou hast no lack of other heroes in the past, be content with the Maid; France, thou mayst dare be proud and enter in the lists with the other nations for military glory, and even, we may very well say, place the Maid above all others." The Church in its present state, is the the father of the prodigal son. The prodigal son are those worldly men who seek to destroy or forsake the Church in all her persecutions. The father being sorrowful, will have his sorrow turned into joy, as Holy Scripture attests. “But it was fit that we should make merry and be glad, for this thy brother was dead and is come to life again; he was lost, and is found.” 69 So will the Church triumphantly put under its feet all the enemies it was once persecuted. The joy the Church will have is the universal conversion of the world which will bring many sinners back to the path of Calvary, that is to a life of penance.70 As Léon Gautier talks about the Ten Commandments on the Code of Chivalry, the sixth commandment being: “Thou shalt make war against the Infidel without cessation, and without mercy.” 71 7. To desire to devote our whole life to obtain the conversion of one dear to us. - “Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” 72 When a hand grenade lands into a foxhole and a solider covers his whole body over this hand grenade to shield his buddies, can we say this man has laid down his life for his friends? Would it not constitute as the same thing if one giving up a worldly life, possibly a marriage for the conversion of someone they dearly loved, whether it be a friend, neighbor, family member, or spouse? Is that not love? Is that not charity? To suffer in sorrow while the one you love might be leading a scandalous and godless life? St. Monica's conversion story of her son, is one of the greatest the Church may ever have. “St. Monica (mother of St. Augustine) was treated in like manner; she had to pray to God for seventeen years before she could obtain of Him the grace of conversion for her son Augustine. Had she become tired with pouring out prayers and shedding tears before the face of the Lord, in all probability the name Augustine would not now be shining with so great a luster in the calendar of the saints. For twenty years did St. Philip Neri pray for a high degree of the love of God. After that time, this gift was granted him in such a measure as has seldom been granted to man.” 73 She showed the patience in the midst of many sorrows. For seventeen years she had prayed every day. That is roughly 6205 days. Have you ever asked anyone for something and not received it? 69. Luke 15:32 70. All the holy Fathers agree that after the death of Antichrist (1978) the whole world will be converted, and although some of them assert that the world will last but a few days after his death, while others say a few months, some authorities insist that it will continue to exist many years after. St. Catherine of Sienna, St. Vincent Ferrer, St. Francis of Paula, and a number of other saints have predicted this ultimate universal conversion. Saint John Eudes, page 319, The Admirable Heart of Mary. 71 Chivalry, Léon Gautier, Page: 26 72. John 15:13 73. Prayer: The Key to Salvation, Page: 167

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She asked God 6205 times to receive what she wished. What if she stopped at 6204 times? “Therefore I say unto you, all things, whatsoever you ask when ye pray, believe that you shall receive; and they shall come unto you.” 74 If you have not receive what you wished for, it is because you did not ask. “We complain so readily of being unmercifully treated by God, if He does not come at once to our aid, and almost despairing of being heard, we give up praying altogether. Truly this is not the right way to pray, says St. John Chrysostom; let us bewail our indolence in praying; for thirty-eight years did the sick man spoken of in the Gospel (John 5) wait to be cured, and yet his desire was not fulfilled. Nor did it happen thus through his negligence, yet, for all that, he did not despair; but if we pray for ten days, perhaps, and are not heard, we think it is of no use to pray any longer. (Homil. 35, in Joan).” “Dear little child, if you have parents who do not lead a good life, God looks to you for their conversion. But what can you do? The good example of a child speaks to the heart of a parent. Then there is prayer will God turn a deaf ear to the prayer of a child praying for the conversion of its father or mother? No; the Hail Mary which you say every day for their conversion, the prayer you say for them each time you hear Mass, the Holy communions you offer for them, the sighs of your heart, all rise up before God, and are not forgotten by Him; and the day will come when God will send down from Heaven the grace of conversion into the hearts of your parents. God often makes use of children to convert others. Lous Veuillot, editor of the L'Universe in Paris, gave the following account of his conversion: “I had been brought up,” he said, “in ignorance of the truth, with no respect for religion, and hating the Catholic Church. I had a little child, which was wild, passionate, and stupid. I was cross and severe to this child. Sometimes my wife used to say to me: 'Wait a little the child will be better when it makes it First Communion.' I did not believe it. However, the child began to go to catechism. From that time it became obedient, respectful, and affectionate. I thought I would go myself to hear the instructions on the catechism, which had made such a wonderful change in my child. I went, and I heard truths which I never heard before. My feelings toward the child were changed. It was not so much love as respect I began to feel for the child. I was inferior to it. It was better and wiser than I was. The week for the first Communion was come. There were but five or six days remaining. One morning the child returned from Mass, and came into a room where I was alone. 'Father,' said the child, 'the day of my First Communion is coming. I cannot go to the altar without asking your blessing, and forgiveness for all the faults I have committed and the pain I have often given you. Think well of my faults, and scold me for them all, that I may commit them no more.' My child,' I answered, 'A father forgives everything.' The child looked at me with tears in its eyes, and threw its arms round my neck. 'Father,' said the child again, 'I have something else to ask you.' I knew well-my conscience told mewhat the child was going to ask; I was afraid and said: 'Go away now, you can ask me tomorrow.' The poor child did not know what to say, so it left me, and went sorrowfully into its own little room, where it had an altar with an image of the Blessed Virgin upon it. I felt sorrowfully for what I had said; so I got up and walked softly on the tips of my feet to the room-door of my child. The door was a little open; I looked at the child; it was on its knees before the Blessed Virgin, praying with all its heart for its father. Truly, at that moment I knew what one must feel at the sight of an angel. I went back to my room, and leaned my head on my hands; I was ready to cry. I heard a slight sound, and raised my eyesmy child was standing before me; on its face there was fear, with firmness and love. 'Father,' said the child, 'I cannot put off till tomorrow what I have to ask you-I ask you, on the day of my First Communion, to come to the Holy Communion along with mamma and me.' I burst into tears, and threw my arms round the child's neck, and said: 'Yes, my child, yes, this very day you shall take me by the hand and lead me to your confessor, and say: 'Here is father.' So this child also obtained, by its prayer, the grace of conversion for its father.” 75 “You have not chosen me: but I have chosen you; and have appointed you, that you should go, and should bring forth fruit; and your fruit should remain: that whatsoever you shall ask of the Father 74. Mark 11:24 75. Prayer The Key to Salvation, Page: 92-94

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in my name, he may give it you.” 76 “More wonderful still is what Surius relates of the holy priest and martyr Lucian: By his modesty and recollection alone he converted many heathens to the True Faith. The Emperor Maximian hearing this, and fearing that he too might be converted to Christianity, did not wish to look at him. When, therefore, he was summoned before the tribunal, the Emperor ordered him to stand behind a curtain so that he might talk to him without fear.” 77 How do these following stories tie in with your seventh point? - Many through committing sins, are blinded by the fact that they, through their own fault, wish to damn themselves to all eternity. If a child were drowning, would you not have pity on the poor helpless child? Would you not do all in your power to save it from drowning? Sadly, what happens when billions of children drowning at the same time? Their cries are flooding the gates of heaven by force. Would you not die of grief to see such a site? How can we, not die of sorrow, if we were to see billions of souls fall into Hell, where there is no compassion, but just despair and suffering? I feel so helpless, with so many souls running to the gates of Hell with joy. It is like seeing someone running into a burning house that is about to collapse from a raging fire. You ask them, “why are you doing such a thing?” They reply as they are running toward the house, “It is fun, everyone else is doing it.” Would you not consider that person mad? If people thought one thing. The hour of death, and that Heaven and Hell is decided in one moment. That moment being irreversible. You are either damned or saved. What sorrow and what joy, joy for the elect, sorrow for the damned! “A priest was once traveling in Scotland. No one could tell that he was a priest. It happened one day, that as he was on his journey, he passed by a house that stood alone in the country. At the moment when he was passing the door, a person came out of the house and asked him if he would come in. The priest did not wish to stop, so he asked what as the matter; why did they wish him to come in. The person at the door answered that the old man of the house was dying; but the old man would not believe that he was dying, although the doctor and everyone had told him that he was dying. The priest then went into the house, and walked upstairs into the room where the old man was. The priest looked at the old man, and saw that he was certainly dying, so he spoke to the old man. “My good man,” he said, “you had better get yourself ready for death; you are certainly dying.” “Oh, no,” answered the old man, “I am sure I shall not die now.” “But,” said the priest, “many deceive themselves about death. They die when they do not think that they are dying. Believe me, for I have seen many die.” “No,” answered the old man: “I am quite sure that I shall not die now.” “Tell me,” said the priest, “what makes you think so?” “I will tell you the truth,” said the old man; “I do not know who you are, but I am a Catholic. For thirty years I have prayed every day to God that before I died a priest might come to hear my confession; but there is no priest in this part of the country. After praying to God for thirty years not to die without a priest, God makes me feel sure that I shall not die till a priest comes here.” “What you say,” said the priest, “is true. If you have prayed to God every day for thirty years not to die without a priest, it is not likely that God will let you die without a priest. I am happy to be able to tell you that a priest is here now: I am a priest.” Great was the joy of the old man, and many tears did he shed. Well might he say with the good old man Simeon, Now, O Lord, thou dost dismiss thy servant according to thy word, in peace; Because my eyes have seen thy salvation. (Luke 2:29-30) The old man then made his confession, received the holy Sacraments, and died a very happy death.” 78 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: Tears and Comfort, Dream Of My Grandmother, My Mother's Dream and Her Cell Phone.) 8. To desire to atone for our own sins or those of others, and to fly from the temptations which we feel too weak to resist. - “The Lord delayeth not his promise, as some imagine, but dealeth patiently 76. John 15:16 77. The Twelve Steps To Holiness and Salvation, Page: 100 78. Prayer They Key to Salvation, Page: 169

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for your sake, not willing that any should perish, but that all should return to penance.” 79 We all must do penance or like the fig tree, be cursed and casted into the fire. “And saying: Do penance: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” 80 But alas we wait! Why are we waiting? Do you know when God will have us judged? Is He not the thief? “Have in mind therefore in what manner thou hast received and heard: and observe, and do penance. If then thou shalt not watch, I will come to thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know at what hour I will come to thee.” 81 Why do we not do penance now? It is the lack of faith. Pagans do not believe in the next life. So they foolishly throw away this one, and gain Hell in the next. But Christians on the other hand know that there is a next life, and refuse to prepare for it. It is my opinion, that those who act like this should be shut up in a mad house. Who is crazy enough to stand before the Throne of Divine Justice and say it is not my fault, when knowing quite honestly it was? Do we not obey our lustful desires? Do we not obey our greed? Do owe not obey our pleasures in food and delicacies? To live a life of a Christian is to live a life of mortification, obedience, complete self denial, and poverty just like our Saviour. So why are we indulging ourselves in these earthly pleasures which our Divine Master completely forsaken? “But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?” 82 “St. Thomas teaches that the perfect consecration which a religious makes of herself to God by her solemn profession remits the guilt and punishment of all her past sins. “But,” he says, “it may reasonably be said that a person by entering into religion obtains the remission of all sins. For, to make satisfaction for all sins, it is sufficient to dedicate one's self entirely to the service of God by entering religion, which dedication exceeds all manner of satisfaction. Hence,” he concludes, “we read in the lives of the Fathers, that they who enter religion obtain the same grace as those who receive baptism.” The faults committed after profession by a good religious are expiated in this world by her daily exercises of piety, by her meditations, Communions, and mortifications. But if a religious should not make full atonement in this life for all her sins, her purgatory will not be of long duration. The many sacrifices of the Mass which are offered for her after death, and the prayers of the Community, will soon release her from her suffering.” 83 “The Venerable Caesar da Bustis addressed a nephew who had entered religion in the following words: My dear nephew, when you look at the heavens, think of paradise; when you see the world, reflect on hell, where the damned endure eternal torments without a moment's enjoyment; when you behold your convent, remember purgatory, where many just souls suffer in peace and with a certainty of eternal life.” 84 How do these following stories tie in with your eighth point? - Despair is such a wicked word. How many souls have fallen into Hell because of this wicked sin! “Then Judas, who betrayed him, seeing that he was condemned, repenting himself, brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and ancients, Saying: I have sinned in betraying innocent blood. But they said: What is that to us? look thou to it. And casting down the pieces of silver in the temple, he departed: and went and hanged himself with an halter.” 85 Now the Church has not decided on the fate of Judas, but it is indeed interesting what our Lord says: “The Son of man indeed goeth, as it is written of him: but woe to that man by whom the Son of man shall be betrayed: it were better for him, if that man had not been born.” 86 But what does despair achieve? Despair does not help a Catholic to strive for his last end, which is God. Those who despair give up, thinking that it is impossible to achieve the Kingdom of Heaven. “And again I say to you: It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man 79. 2 Peter 3:9 80. Matthew 3:2 81. Apocalypse 3:3 82. James 2:20 83. The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Pages: 56-57 84. The Spouse of Jesus Christ By St. Alphonsus De Liguori, Page: 51 85. Matthew 27:3-5 86. Matthew 26:24

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to enter into the kingdom of heaven. And when they had heard this, the disciples wondered very much, saying: Who then can be saved? And Jesus beholding, said to them: With men this is impossible: but with God all things are possible.” 87 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: Awakening and of Despair...Again, Vision of Lucifer, & Satan In Control) 9. An attraction for the state of virginity. - “Therefore, both he that giveth his virgin in marriage, doth well; and he that giveth her not, doth better.” 88 The Twelve Steps to Holiness and Salvation, Chapter 6 Chastity, Pages 91: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8) “No one knows the value of chastity better than God Himself. Now God says: No price is worthy of a continent soul. (Ecclus. 26:20). All that man prizes and esteems, riches, pleasures, honors, bear no comparison to a continent soul. St. Ephrem calls chastity “the life of the spirit.” St. Peter Damian styles it “the queen of virtues,” and St. Cyprian says by means of chastity we celebrate the most glorious triumphs. He who conquers the vice opposed to this virtue will easily triumph over the rest. On the contrary, he who permits himself to be ruled by incontinency falls an easy prey to the other vices such as hatred, injustice, etc. Chastity, says, St. Ephrem, renders us in a certain sense like angels. This comparison is altogether justified, for the life of angels is far from being a life of carnal gratifications. Angels are pure by nature; chaste souls are pure by reason of virtue. “On account of the merit of this virtue,” says Cassian, “humans beings are placed on a level with the angels.” “Of course there is a difference,” says St. Bernard. “between the chaste man and the angel, but it is a not a difference of virtue; it is only one of happiness. If the chastity of the angels is more blessed, the chastity of man is more courageous.” The Angels, Fr. Pascal P. Parente, Pages 135-137: “Born of a noble family in Rome, in 1384, she, at the early age of twelve, was given in marriage to Lorenzo Ponziani and became the mother of several children. Favored by God with a high gift of long and frequent prayer, she nevertheless knew how to leave her devotions and to find God in her household work. By her example she did much in correcting the luxurious and idle mode of life of the Roman matrons. She stood faithfully by her husband in his many troubles and exiles; and after his death, in 1436, she joined, as a humble member, the community of the Institute of the Oblates which she herself had founded. She was favored with continual vision of her Angel. This is how it started. In the year 1411, Saint Frances' first son, Evangelista, almost nine years old was near death. He had been a saintly and innocent child. Just before expiring, he smiled at his mother and said: 'Behold the Angels who have come to take me to heaven! Mother, I will remember you!' Exactly one year from the day that the young Evangelista had died, Saint Frances was spending the whole night in prayer in the Oratory of her palace in Rome. At the break of dawn, the Oratory was filled with a brilliant light, and in that light she saw her little son, Evangelista: the same lovely features, wearing the same clothes, but supremely beautiful and resplendent. At his side was another boy more beautiful and more glorious; yet Frances had eyes only for her dear son. With open arms the little Evangelista greeted his mother and said: 'I am with the Angels of the second Choir of the first Hierarchy, together with this my young companion, who, as you see, is much more beautiful and resplendent than myself. He is an Archangel and in heaven he occupies a place above mine. God sends him to you, dear mother, to be of comfort to you in this life, on your earthly pilgrimage. He will not leave you night or day, and you shall have the sweet satisfaction of seeing him constantly with 87. Matthew 19:24-26 88. 1 Corinthians 7:38

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your bodily eyes.' As the light of the new day was now filling the Oratory, the soul of young Evangelista said to his mother: 'It is God's will that I return to heaven; the sight of this Archangel, who will remain with you, shall remind you of me.' With a sweet smile he disappeared. The vision had lasted a whole hour. Left alone, Frances turned her eyes and saw the blessed Archangel standing, his hands crossed on his chest. Trembling she fell on her knees, adoring and thanking the merciful God for such an extraordinary gift. She begged the blessed spirit, now made visible to her, to enlighten her in her doubts, to assist her in her difficulties, to defend her against the assaults of the devil, and to be her guide on the way of perfection, making her more and more acceptable in the eyes of God. Even though this Archangel did not reveal to her all the splendor of glory that is his in Paradise, the brilliant light of his countenance was such that Frances could not gaze on him without hurting her eyes; she, therefore, avoided fixing her eyes on the Angel himself and looked rather on the glow of light that surrounded him. Occasionally she was given power to contemplate his features directly, especially in the time of prayer, when troubled by the devil, or when she spoke of the Angel to her own Confessor. On these special occasions the Angel seemed to dim somewhat the light that surrounded him, and this enabled Frances to look the Angel directly in the face. She saw that he resembled in statue a boy of nine, only a little taller than the ordinary child of that age. He had lively and sparkling eyes and the sweetest expression on his lovely face. He wore a white tunic and over it a tuncile, that reached to his feet, clear as light and of an ethereal color, something like sky-blue and flaming red. His hair was like spun gold, long enough to cover his neck and shoulders. The brilliant light that came from his hair was such that Frances was able to read her Office at night, or go through the house most safely as at midday, without the use of any candle or any other light. The Angel's power seemed to be in his hair; so that when the devil came around to trouble Saint Frances, the Angel shook his hair that this was sufficient to put the devil into flight and make him tremble. In the light shed by her Angel, Saint Frances saw the secret thoughts of men around her and the evil machinations of the devil. She noticed how this Angel sometimes walked or stood at her right side, sometimes on her left side, and sometimes over her head. Once this Angel stopped the hand of one member of the Institute of Oblates, founded by Saint Frances, who had tried to take her own life.” “In the first place, virginal souls are particular dear in the sight of God. They shall be as the angels of God in heaven, said our Blessed Redeemer. (Matt. 22:30). Baronius relates that at the death of a virgin named Georgia, doves were seen flying about, and when her corpse was brought into the church they hovered over the spot where her remains were placed, nor did they leave until the virgin was buried. It was thought that these doves were angels who desired in the manner to show a last honor to her virginal body.” 89 “One day God showed His great servant, Lucretia Orsini, the throne of glory prepared for those who serve Jesus Christ in virginal purity. Ravished in ecstasy, the saint exclaimed: Oh how dear to God and His holy Mother are virginal souls!” 90 How do these following stories tie in with your nineth point? - “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, and my soul shall be joyful in my God: for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation: and with the robe of justice he hath covered me.” 91 Through my own grave ignorance, I will attempt to explain how God has protected my virginity. When I was little I had hearing problems. In a sense I was deaf for the first four years of my life. If you are under water and someone above the water tries to talk directly to you, there would not 89. The Twelve Steps To Holiness And Salvation, Page: 101 90. The Twelve Steps To Holiness And Salvation, Page: 104 91. Isaias 61:10

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be a single moment you could understand that person. That is what happened to me. It is as if I was under water for the first four years of my life, until I had an operation to fix it. Due to it I received a blessing and that is a learning disability. After being 3-4 years behind my age group in knowledge, I had to play catch up. My whole life was dominated by academics and as my parents expressive wish for me to obtain an engineering degree. Throughout high school, my life consisted of homework. I went to class from 7:00 -14:30 (I am using military hours because it is much easier and logical to use.) I would play soccer from 14:30-17:30 roughly. After that I would do my homework until about 22:00 or sometimes until 24:00. My weekends would consist of the following: Friday night video games 14:30-22:00 or 23:00. Saturday and Sunday consists of studying and homework. And I have been in summer school since I can remember. So all year round I went to school. By the end of my high school years, I was taking advance placement classes, I was ready to take calculus which was a prerequisite for starting the engineering program in the fall after I had graduated. So as one can see, I had no time for socialization, partying, drinking, heaven forbid, if any of my fellow classmates had done anything sexual may God have mercy on them! I never went to a single prom in my life. Not that I am complaining, but I rather think of it as a great blessing. “Listen to St. Augustine and you will see if dancing is a good action. He tells us that 'dancing is the ruin of souls, a reversal of all decency, a shameful spectacle, a public profession of crime.' St. Ephraim calls it 'the ruin of good morals and the nourishment of vice.' St. John Chrysostom: 'A school of public unchastity.' Tertullian: 'The temple of Venus, the consistory of shamelessness, and the citadel of all the depravities.' 'Here is a girl who dances,' says St. Ambrose, 'but she is the daughter of an adulteress because a Christian woman would teacher her daughter modesty, a proper sense of shame, and not dancing!'” 92 I had little social contact with women in general throughout high school. High schools are really schools where one can practice vice and not virtue. By God's mercy I was spared so far from losing my virginity. High schools these days are the breeding grounds of worse things to come, especially those who go to college. There is a miracle that has happened to me. Seeing that I was seduced and almost lost my virginity in college. By the grace of God I was wearing the brown scapular at the time. And it is my opinion, I would have lost my virginity at that moment if I had not worn the brown scapular. “St. Claude de la Colombiere, the renowned Jesuit and spiritual director of St. Margaret Mary, gives a point which is enlightening. He said: "Because all the forms of our love for the Blessed Virgin, all its various modes of expression cannot be equally pleasing to Her, and therefore do not assist us in the same degree to Heaven. I say without a moments hesitation that the brown scapular is the most favored of all!" He also adds: "No devotion has been confirmed by more numerous authentic miracles than the Brown Scapular." 93 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: Testing of My Vocation & Vocation to the Priesthood) “How many unfortunate persons there are, says St. Lawrence Justinian, who having spent long years in solitude amid prayer, fasting and mortification, yielded at last to sensuality, gave up their holy life, and with the loss of chastity suffered the loss of God.” 94 10. The happiness which the thought of religious life brings, its spiritual helps, its peace, merit and reward. - “Now therefore, ye children, hear me: Blessed are they that keep my ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and refuse it not. Blessed is the man that heareth me, and that watcheth daily at my gates, and waiteth at the posts of my doors. He that shall find me, shall find life, and shall have salvation from the Lord: But he that shall sin against me, shall hurt his own soul. All that hate me love death.” 95 “Moritur confidentius” -A religious dies more confidently 92. Sermons Of The Curé Of Ars, Page: 159 93. http://www.olrl.org/pray The Rosary, Brown Scapular and Sabbatine Privilege I do not know where they got their source 94. The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Page: 92 95. Proverbs 8:32-36

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“Some are deterred from entering religion by the apprehension that their abandonment of the world might be afterwards to them a source of regret. But in making choice of a state of life I would advise such persons to reflect not on the pleasures on this life, but on the hour of death, which will determine their happiness or misery for all eternity. And I would ask if, in the world, surrounded by seculars, disturbed by the fondness of children, from whom they are about to be separated forever, perplexed with the care of their worldly affairs, and disturbed by a thousand scruples of conscience, they can expect to die more contented than in a house of God, assisted by their holy companions, who continually speak of God; who pray for them, and console and encourage them in their passage to eternity? Imagine you see, on the one hand, a princess dying in a splendid palace, attended by a retinue of servants, surrounded by her husband, her children, and relatives, and represent to yourself, on the other, a religious expiring in her convent, in a poor cell, mortified, humble; far from her relatives, stripped of property and self-will; and tell me, which of the two, the rich princess or the poor nun, dies more contented? Ah! The enjoyment of riches, of honors, and pleasures in this life do not afford consolation at the hour of death, but rather beget grief and diffidence of salvation; while poverty, humiliations, penitential austerities, detachment from the world render death sweet and amiable, and give to a Christian increased hopes of attaining that true felicity which shall never terminate.” 96 “Blessed Seraphino of Ascoli, a Capuchin, was in the habit of saying that he would not give one foot of his cord for all the kingdoms of the earth. Arnold, a Cistercian, comparing the riches and honors of the court which he had left with the consolations which he found in religion, exclaimed: How faithfully fulfilled, O Jesus, is the promise which Thou didst make of rendering a hundredfold to him who leaves all things for Thy sake! St. Bernard's monks, who led lives of great penance and austerities, received in their solitude such spiritual delights, that they were afraid they should obtain in this life the reward of their labors.” 97 How do these following stories tie in with your tenth point? - It was during this time is when I further pursued my vocation, as a religious. I began reading/buying more Catholic books. After about a year's worth of study, I was (and still am convinced) that my vocation is to the religious life. My dear parents, I am writing this paper for you, that your obstinacy will cease! Whenever you comment on a nephew's or niece's career choice, you are happy for them. But for me, I see nothing. I see no joy in your eyes. No happiness in your heart. All I feel is this distant coldness. The same joy I have, you despise. When I found Pope Michael's website I was going through much suffering. I was suffering from despair and depression. In addition, I went on this emotional roller coaster ride thinking I was catholic, then I wasn't, then I was etc. I wanted this journey to end. And so it did justly, with the finding of the true Church. The One, Holy, Catholic, & Apostolic Church who is headed by Pope Michael. My pilgrimage of finding the Church has ended. Now restoring the Church to her proper place, is the work Catholics must do now. “But I, like my brethren, offer up my life and my body for the laws of our fathers: calling upon God to be speedily merciful to our nation, and that thou by torments and stripes mayst confess that he alone is God.” 98 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: Finding Pope Michael) 11. A longing to sacrifice oneself and abandon all for the love of Jesus Christ, and to suffer for His sake. - “Jesus Christ has promised that whosoever leaves his house and relatives for God's sake shall enjoy eternal life. And every one that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting. A certain religious, of the Society of Jesus, being observed to smile on his death-bed, some of his brethren who were present began to apprehend that he was not aware of his danger, and asked him why he smiled; he answered: Why should I not smile, since I am sure of paradise? Has not the Lord himself promised to give eternal life to those who leave the world for his sake? I have long since 96. The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Page: 54 -55 97. The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Page: 52 98. 2 Machabees 7:37

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abandoned all things for the love of him: he cannot violate his own promises. I simile, then, because I confidently expect eternal glory. The same sentiment was expressed long before by St. John Chrysostom, writing to a certain religious. God, says the saint, cannot tell a lie; but he has promised eternal life to those who leave the goods of the world. You have left all these things; why, then should you doubt the fulfillment of his promise? Hence St. Laurence Justinian says that religion is the gate of paradise; because living in religion, and partaking of its advantages is a great mark of election to glory. No wonder, then, that Gerard, the brother of St. Bernard, when dying in his monastery, began to sing with joy and gladness. God himself says: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord. And surely religious who by the holy vows, and especially by the vow of obedience or total renunciation of self will, die to the world and to themselves must be ranked amongst the number of those who die in the Lord. Hence Father Suarez, remembering at the hour of death that all his actions in religion were performed through obedience, was filled with spiritual joy, and exclaimed that he could not imagine death could be so sweet and so full of consolation.” 99 How do these following stories tie in with your eleventh point? - “Then Job answered, and said: How long do you afflict my soul, and break me in pieces with words? Behold, these ten times you confound me, and are not ashamed to oppress me. For if I have been ignorant, my ignorance shall be with me. But you have set yourselves up against me, and reprove me with my reproaches. At least now understand, that God hath not afflicted me with an equal judgment, 100 and compassed me with his scourges. Behold I cry suffering violence, and no one will hear: I shall cry aloud, and there is none to judge. He hath hedged in my path round about, and I cannot pass, and in my way he hath set darkness. He hath stripped me of my glory, and hath taken the crown from my head. He hath destroyed me on every side, and I am lost, and he hath taken away my hope, as from a tree that is plucked up. His wrath is kindled against me, and he hath counted me as his enemy. His troops have come together, and have made themselves a way by me, and have besieged my tabernacle round about. He hath put my brethren far from me, and my acquaintance like strangers have departed from me. My kinsmen have forsaken me, and they that knew me, have forgotten me. They that dwelt in my house, and my maidservants have counted me a stranger, and I have been like an alien in their eyes. I called my servant, and he gave me no answer, I entreated him with my own mouth. My wife hath abhorred my breath, and I entreated the children of my womb. Even fools despise me; and when I gone from them, they spoke against me. They that were sometime my counsellors, have abhorred me: and he whom I love most is turned against me. The flesh being consumed. My bone hath cleaved to my skin, and nothing but lips are left about my teeth. Have pity on me, have pity on me, at least you my friends, because the hand of the Lord hath touched me.” 101 I do not know a better part in Holy Scripture which describes what I am going through. We all understand what agony is. Some have it greater than others. There are many children who are currently in more agony than a wretch like me. I never had a girlfriend before. I do not see that I ever will. But when there is a woman who is working at the same job, who asks you how you are doing. If at lunch, asks you if you ate enough. How can I not smile and not be thankful? When I walk near her she sings, very beautifully, my heart cannot help, but melt. How can one not fall in love? But I will leave this woman, who in the external form seems to be flirting with me, for sake of Jesus and Mary. “Amen, amen I say to you, that you shall lament and weep, but the world shall rejoice; and you shall be made sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.” 102 99. The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Page: 55-56 100. "With an equal judgment"... St. Gregory explains these words thus: Job being a just man, and truly considering his own life, thought that his affliction was greater than his sins deserved: and in that respect, that the punishment was not equal, yet it was just, as coming from God, who gives a crown of justice to those who suffer for righteousness' sake, and proves the just with tribulations, as gold is tried by fire. 101. Job 19:1-21 102. John 16:20

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I know there are many young lads & ladies out there who are deciding to follow a religious vocation. To you I say, follow Christ. Forget the world. The world is but a shadow to eternity and its joys. Yes, you bear the sorrow, I am bearing. I understand quite well your pains and your tears you offer up at night, wishing to God it would end. Offer up to Jesus and Mary your sorrows, thank them for that cross in which you now carry. Just as soldiers who must fight to defend their beloved country in the time of war, shall we not defend our Church at this terrible hour? Are we not soldiers fighting for our King Jesus Christ? And I answer: “Death before disgrace!” I would rather die than to offend such a King! “And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called faithful and true, and with justice doth he judge and fight. And the armies that are in heaven followed him on white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.” 103 “Then Peter answering, said to him: Behold we have left all things, and have followed thee: what therefore shall we have? And Jesus said to them: Amen, I say to you, that you, who have followed me, in the regeneration, when the Son of man shall sit on the seat of his majesty, you also shall sit on twelve seats judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And every one that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting.” 104 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: Being Sick & Agony) 12. A willingness in one not having any dowry, or much education, to be received in any capacity, is a proof of a real vocation. Council of Trent, Third Petition of the Lord's Prayer “Thy Will Be Done,” Pages 529-532,539: “Whoever desires to enter into the kingdom of heaven should ask of God that His will may be done. For Christ the Lord has said: 'Not everyone that says to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doth the will of my Father who is in heaven, he shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.' Man's Proneness To Act Against God's Will “From the beginning God implanted in all creatures an inborn desire of pursuing their own happiness that, by a sort of natural impulse, they may seek and desire their own end, from which they never deviate, unless impeded by some external obstacle. This impulse of seeking God, the author and father of his happiness, was in the beginning all the more noble and exalted in man because of the fact that he was endowed with reason and judgment. But, while irrational creatures, which, at their creation were by nature good, continued, and still continue in that original state and condition, unhappy man went astray and lost not only original justice, with which he had been supernaturally gifted and adorned by God, but also obscured that singular inclination toward virtue which had been implanted in his soul. 'All,' He says, ' have gone aside, they are become unprofitable together; there is none that doth good, no, not one. For the imagination and thought of man's heart are prove to evil from his youth.' Hence it is not difficult to perceive that of himself no man is wise unto salvation; that all are prone to evil; and that man has innumerable corrupt propensities, since he tends downwards and is carried with ardent precipitancy to anger, hatred, pride, ambition, and to almost every species of evil.” Man's Blindness Concerning God's Will “Although man is continually beset by these evils, yet his greatest misery is that many of these appear to him not be evils at all. It is a proof of the most calamitous condition of man, that he is so blinded by passion and cupidity as not to see that what he 103. Apocalypse 19:11,14 104. Matthew 19:27-29

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deems salutary generally contains a deadly poison, that he rushes headlong after those pernicious evils as if they were good and desirable, while those things which are really good and virtuous are shunned as the contrary. Of this false estimate and corrupt judgment of man God thus expresses His detestation: 'Wo to you that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter.' In order, therefore, to delineate in vivid coloring the misery of our condition, the Sacred Scripture compares us to those who have lost their sense of taste and who, in consequence, loathe wholesome food, and prefer that which is unwholesome.” Man's Weakness In Fulfilling God's Will “It also compares us to sick persons who, as long as their malady lasts, are incapable of fulfilling the duties and offices proper to persons of sound and vigorous health. In the same way neither can we, without the assistance of divine grace, undertake actions such as are acceptable to God. Even should we, while in this condition, succeed in doing anything good, it will be of little or no avail towards attaining the bliss of heaven. But to love and serve God as we ought is something too noble and too sublime for us to accomplish by human powers in our present lowly and feeble condition, unless we are assisted by the grace of God. Another very apt comparison to denote the miserable condition of mankind is that wherein we are likened to children who, if left to go their own way, are thoughtlessly attracted by everything that presents itself. Truly we are children, thoughtless children, wholly devoted to vain conversations and frivolous actions, once we become destitute of divine assistance; and hence the reproof which divine wisdom directs against us: 'O children, how long will you love childishness, and fools covet those things which are hurtful to themselves?' While the Apostle thus exhorts us: 'Do not become child in sense.' Not only this, but our folly and blindness are even greater than those children; for they are merely destitute of human prudence which they can of themselves acquire in course of time; whereas, if not assisted by God's help and grace, we can never aspire to that divine prudence which is so necessary to salvation. And if God's assistance should fail us, we at once cast aside those things that are truly good and rush headlong to voluntary ruin.” Resignation To God's Will “Finally, the faithful are to be admonished to acquiesce in the simple and absolute will of God. Let him, who thinks that he occupies a place in society inferior to his deserts, bear his lot with patient resignation; let him not abandon his proper sphere, but abide in the vocation to which he has been called. Let him subject his own judgment to the will of God, who provides better for our interest than we can even desire ourselves. If troubled by poverty, by sickness, by persecution, or afflictions and anxieties of any sort, let us be convinced that none of these things can happen to us without the permission of God, who is the supreme Arbiter of all things. We should, therefore, not suffer our minds to be too much disturbed by them, but bear up against them with fortitude, having always on our lips the words: The will of the Lord be done; and also those of holy Job, As it hath pleased the Lord, so it is done: blessed be the name of the Lord.” How do these following stories tie in with your twelfth point? - “For the justice of God is revealed therein, from faith unto faith, as it is written: The just man liveth by faith.” 105 A person who lives by faith says, “be it done to me according to thy word.” 106 For a just man is a humble man, and knows 105. Romans 1:17 106. Luke 1:38

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that he cannot perfect what is already perfected. So why is it that we do not ask that God's will be done unto us? Do we not love God? Is God's will not perfect? Why do we think we can make it better, if something is already perfect? Is that not what a masterpiece is, something perfect? If there is a masterpiece of a particular artwork, a sculpture, a building, why do we seek to do better if it is the best we can do? Of course in the human sense it can be done better, for men are not perfect like God. God can only truly make a masterpiece in the technical sense of the definition. “And seek not you what you shall eat, or what you shall drink: and be not lifted up on high. For all these things do the nations of the world seek. But your Father knoweth that you have need of these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.” 107 Know my dear parents, God's will is perfect, not ours. We ought only to do His. “One thing I have asked of the Lord, this will I seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.” 108 Every man and woman seeks rest. After a long day of work 8-12 hour day of work, all we wish is rest. Why do we seek it on earth? True rest lies elsewhere. There is eternal unrest and rest. The unrest are the damned who did not corresponds to the graces that God had given them in this life, and like the wicked servant buried his talents. “Depart from me, you cursed, into everlasting fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry, and you gave me not to eat: I was thirsty, and you gave me not to drink. I was a stranger, and you took me not in: naked, and you covered me not: sick and in prison, and you did not visit me.” 109 Then there are those who corresponding to God's graces, like a good servant, working spiritual and corporeal mercies his whole life and at the time of death will enjoy eternal rest. “Then shall the king say to them that shall be on his right hand: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in: Naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me.” 110 “So eloquently did St. Bernard speak of the advantages of the religious life that all his brothers and thirty young nobles followed him to the solitude of Citeaux.” 111 (See Paper My Conversion To Catholicism: My Guardian Angel, Thy Will Be Done, Thy Will Be Done Second Time, & A Dream Ave Maria)

The Age of Choosing a Vocation “So jealous is the Church of this liberty for her children that the Council of Trent excommunicates those who, by force or fear, hinder anyone from entering religion without just cause.”112 “As parents often exceed the authority given them by God over their children, in the question of a choice of life, it will be well here to quote the words of the great Jesuit Moralist, Father Ballerini: 'Paternal power cannot take away the right which sons and daughters have to make their own choice of a state of life, and, if they will, to follow Christ’s Counsels. The duty, however, which filial piety demands ought not to be disregarded, and the leave of parents ought to be asked. If it is refused, their children ought not at once to take their departure, but should wait for some little time till the parents have realized their obligations. If, however, there should be danger of the parents unjustly hindering the fulfillment of their children’s vocation, they may and ought to go without their parent’s knowledge. Parents have a right to make some trial of the vocation of their children before they enter; it is not, however, lawful for them to insist that they should first taste the pleasure of the world. If they should happen to be affected by these, the parent would not have reason to conclude that there had not been a 107. Luke 12:29-31 108. Psalms 26:4 109. Matthew 25:41-43 110. Matthew 25:34-36 111. Vocations, Page: 9 112. Vocations, Page: 12

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true vocation. There may be a true vocation which has been wrongfully abandoned.'” 113 “To turn one from a religious vocation,” says St. Jerome, “is nothing else than to slay Jesus Christ in the heart of another.” 114 “Our Lord tells us to learn a lesson from “the children of this world, who are wiser in their generation”; there is no hesitation about accepting a tempting offer of marriage, which binds one, perhaps to an unsuitable partner, for life; it is worldly wisdom not to delay about such a step when there is a chance of being well settled; and yet St. Ignatius teaches that there is more need for deliberation about remaining in the world than for leaving it. He says: “If a person thinks of embracing a secular life, he should ask and desire more evident signs that God calls him to a secular life than if there were question of embracing the Evangelical Counsels. Our Lord Himself has exhorted us to embrace His Counsels, and, on the other hand, He has laid before us the great dangers of a secular life ; so that, if we rightly conclude, revelations and extraordinary tokens of His will are more necessary for a man entering upon a life in the world than for one entering the religious state.” 115 “Endless harm has been done by well-meaning people, who, under pretext of “trying a vocation”, keep their children from entering a religious house for years. They urge that getting “to know the world” will develop their faculties and enable them to understand their own mind better; that such a process will broaden their views and help them to judge things at their proper value; finally, that a vocation which cannot stand such a trial, the buffeting of dangerous temptations, and the seductive allurements of worldly pleasure, to which it has been unnecessarily exposed, is no vocation and had far better be abandoned. “Is the world the place for testing a vocation?” asks St. Vincent de Paul. “Let the soul hasten as fast as possible to secure asylum.” The Church, realizing well the necessity of such a trial, prescribes at least a year of probation in every novitiate before admitting candidates to the religious profession. There, safe from the contagious atmosphere of a corrupt world, with abundant time for prayer and thought, with liberty to remain or leave at will, each one can test for himself the sincerity of the desire he felt to abandon all things and follow Christ, before he binds himself irrevocably by his vows. “One could not give a more pernicious counsel than this,” writes Father Lessius. “What is it in reality except the desire to extinguish the interior spirit, under the pretext of a trial, and to expose to the tempest of temptation him who was preparing to gain the port of safety?” 116 “If a gardener were to plant a precious seed, requiring great care, in stony ground, covered with thorns; if he exposed it to the rays of the sun and every change of climate to try would it grow in that unfavourable spot, who would not look upon him as a fool? Those who advise people called to religious life to remain, for a while, in the world have even less sense. A vocation is a divine fruit for eternal life. It is planted in the human heart, a soil little suited to its nature, and requires great care and attention. Watch must be kept that the birds of the air, the demons, do not carry it away; that thorns, the concupiscences and solicitudes of the world, do not choke it; that men with their false maxims should not trample it under foot. Whosoever wishes to preserve and see grow in his heart the seed which the Divine Sower has cast there, ought to fly from the world and reach a safe refuge as soon as possible.”117 “St. Benedict was only twelve when he entered the cloister, and St. Thomas of Aquinas barely fourteen. St. Catherine of Ricci was professed at thirteen; Blessed Imelda died in a Dominican Convent at the age of eleven, and St. Rose of Lima had vowed her chastity to God while only five. In our own days Soeur Therese, “The Little Flower,” was scarcely fifteen when she entered the Carmelite monastery at Lisieux.” 118 “The Spirit breatheth where He will.” There is no rule for vocations, no age-limit for the Call. Innocence attracts the gaze of God, deep-rooted habits of sin, provided they are not persevered in, do not always repel Him. One comes because of the world disgusts him, another loves it and leaves it with 113. Vocations, Page: 13 114. Vocations, Page: 13 115. Vocations, Page: 10-11 116. Vocations, Page: 12 117. Vocations, Page: 11 118. Vocations, Page:12

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regret; docility draws down more graces, while resistance often increases the force of his invitation. The little child hears His whisperings, while others have not been summoned till years were far advanced.” 119 “St. Liguori quotes a number of theologians who hold that 'Parent who prevent their children from entering religion sin mortally.'” 120

Objections 1. “I may not persevere.” - Were one to hesitate before a possible failure, little would be done in the world, but the Church wisely guards against this danger by giving the aspirant to Religion ample time, in the noviceship, to try if he is really called or suited for such a life. To leave or be dismissed from the house of probation is no disgrace, but simply shows God has other designs on the soul. St Joseph of Cupertino was several times refused admission into the Franciscan Order as unsuitable, He entered the Capuchins, but was sent away, after eight months’ trial, because it was thought he had no vacation. Out of compassion he was then received by the Franciscans, with whom he lived till his saintly death. Suarez tells us we are to consider less our own strength in the matter than the help of grace, for it is in God we must particularly trust. He will not desert us if only we are faithful to His inspirations. If He calls those who do not seek Him, much more will He aid and protect those who have obeyed His call. “If I did but know that I should persevere,” says the author of the Imitation, “and presently he heard within himself an answer from God: ‘Do now what thou wouldst do then, and thou shalt be very secure.’” 121 2. “My health may break down.” - No religious is ever dismissed, after Profession, through ill– health. Should God not give sufficient strength for the duties of the novitiate, it is an evident sign that He wants the novice elsewhere. Thus St. Benedict Joseph Labre, finding himself unable to persevere with either the Cistercians or Carthusians, and having tried in vain, for two years, to enter among the Trappists, saw that his vocation lay in another direction, the perfect imitation, in the world, of the humble, suffering life of the Master. Experience has proved in numberless cases that the regular Community life is of immense benefit to those of feeble health, and God rewards the generous spirit and trust of one willing to serve Him in the midst of infirmities, by giving new vigour and strength. Pere Surin, S.J. advised his mother to become a Carmelite nun at the age of fifty–six. So delicate had she been that she required the constant attendance of four nurses, yet during the fifteen years she lived in the convent, observing all the austerities of the Rule, she never once entered the infirmary. Another Carmelite, Madame Soyecourt, who died at the age of eighty, had never even abstained in the world on account of ill-health. St. Bernard served God faithfully for sixty-three years, never relaxing his penances, fasting or labors, though from his entry into religion he was extremely delicate and constantly spat blood.” 122 3. “I should break my parent’s heart.”- When the devil sees in anyone a religious vocation, he does everything possible to prevent him following that attraction. But of all the means he makes use of, the love of one’s parents is the most powerful and dangerous. He shows it to be so just and reasonable, he makes use of such specious sophisms, that the poor soul does not know to which voice to listen – that which call him or that which bids him go back. St. Alphonsus Liguori declared that the hardest trial of all his life was when he made known to his father his determination of quitting the world. “Dear father, I see that you suffer for my sake. However, I must declare that I no longer belong to this world: God has called me, and I am determined to follow His voice.” For three hours the father clasped him in his arms weeping and repeating, “My son, do not leave me! Oh, my son, my son! I do not deserve this 119. Vocations, Page:12 120. Vocations, Page:13 121. Vocations, Page:15 122. Vocations, Page:16

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treatment.” If he had listened to this pathetic appeal the Church would have lost one of her grandest saints; fortunately he remembered the words of Him Who could call Himself “the kindest and gentlest of men”: “Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace but the sword. For I came to separate the son from the father, and the daughter from the mother; … he that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.” 123 “Though it meant a big sacrifice, even a serious loss, no right-minded father would dream for a moment of forbidding a marriage which would bring to his child joy and good fortune; why then interfere with that holy alliance, made in heaven, which means far greater happiness? St. Ambrose asks if it is just that a young girl should have less liberty in choosing God for her Spouse that she has in selecting an earthly one. To the mother of a family who opposes the religious vocation of her daughter one might say: “You married, and you did well. Had you been forced to enter a convent, would you have done it?” 124 Will you not miss your family? You are going all the way to Kansas? “And as a man's enemies shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it. He that receiveth you, receiveth me: and he that receiveth me, receiveth him that sent me.” 125 4. “I could do more good in the world.” - In a very exceptional case, and under circumstances not likely to be realised, this might be true, but such a statement generally shows a want of realization of the immense advantages of religious life, and the merit which comes from the living vows. Would St. Francis, St. Dominic, or St. Ignatius have done more for God’s glory had they led the life of pious laymen, and would not the world have been poorer and heaven emptier if Nano Nagle, Catherine Macaule or Mary Aikenhead had refused the grace offered them?” 126 5. “When did you decide to become a Religious?” - “And He said to them: The harvest indeed is great, but the labourers are few. Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest that he send labourers into his harvest.” 127 “This principle helps us to appreciate how necessary is the interior life; and, incidentally, it virtually contains the solution of the social question and of the economic crisis which afflicts the world today. The Gospel puts it very simply: 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.' If the world today is on its death-bed, it is because it has lost sight of a fundamental truth which for every Christian is elementary. The profoundest truths of all, and the most vital, are in fact those elementary verities which, through long meditation and deep thought, have become the norm of our lives; those truths, in other words, which are the object of our habitual contemplation. God is now showing men what a great mistake they make when they try to do without Him, when they regard earthly enjoyment as their highest good, and thus reverse the whole scale of values, or, as the ancient philosophers put it, the subordination of ends...The remedy is this, and this only: to consider the one thing necessary, and to ask God to give us saints who live only on this thought, saints who will give the world the spirit that it needs. God has always sent us saints in troubled times. We need them especially today.” 128 “Here am I: for thou didst call me.” 129 123. Vocations, Page:16 124. Vocations, Page:17 125. Matthew 10:36-40 126. Vocations, Page:17 127. Luke 10:2 128. The Three Ways Of The Spiritual Life, Page: 4 129. 1 Kings 3:9 (One has to realize that I am no saint, the wretch that I am. I just hope and pray to serve God faithfully.)

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Man's Last End “Generally speaking, one dies as one has lived. That is one of the great truths which Holy Scripture and the Fathers repeat in many different places. If you live as good Christians, you will be sure to die as good Christians, but if you live badly, you will be sure to die a bad death...It is true, however, that sometimes by a kind of miracle, one may begin badly and finish well, but that happens so rarely that, as St. Jerome puts it, death is generally the echo of life. You think that you will return then to God? No, you will perish in sin...” 130 “We shall never return to God if we do not have recourse to prayer. Yes, my dear children, with a prayer well said, we can command Heaven and earth, and all will obey us.” 131 Baltimore Catechism Four, Lesson One, On The End Of Man: “The end of a thing is the purpose for which it was made. The end of a watch is to keep time. The end of a pen is to write, etc. A thing is good only in proportion to the way it fulfills the end for which it was made. A watch may be beautifully made, a very rare ornament, but if it will not keep time it is useless as a watch. The same may be said of the pen, or of anything else. Now for what purpose was man made? If we discover that, we know his end. When we look around us in the world, we see a purpose or end for everything. We see that the soul is made for the plants and trees to grow in; because if there was no need of things growing, it would be better to have a nice clean solid rock to walk upon, and then we would be spared the trouble of making roads, and paving streets. But things must grow, an so we must have soil. Again, the vegetables and plants are made for animals to feed upon; while the animals themselves are made for man, that they may help him in his work or serve him for food. Thus it is evident everything in the world was made to serve something else. What then was man made for? Was it for anything in the world? We see that all classes of beings are created for something higher than themselves. Thus plants are higher than soil, because they have life and soil has not. Animals are higher than plants, because they not only have life, but they can feel and plants cannot. Man is higher than animals, because he not only has life and can feel, but he has also reason and intelligence, and can understand, while animals cannot. Therefore we must look for something higher than man himself; but there is nothing higher than man in this world, and so we must look beyond it to find that for which he was made. And looking beyond it and considering all things, we find that he was made for God- to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him both in this world and in the next. Again, we read in the Bible (Gen. 1) that at the creation of the world all things were made before man, and that he was created last. Therefore, if all these things could exist without man, we cannot say he was made for them. The world existed before him and can exist after him. The world goes along without any particular man, and the same may be said of all men. Neither was man made to say here awhile to become rich, or learned, or powerful, because all do not become rich-some are very poor; all are not learned-some are very ignorant; all are not powerful-some are slaves. But since all men are alike and equal in this, that they have all bodies formed in the same way, and all souls that are immortal, they should be made for the same end. For example, you could not make a pen like a watch if you want it to write. Although pens differ in size, shape, etc., they have all one general form which is essential to them. So, although men differ in many things, they are all alike in the essential thing, viz., that they are composed of body and soul, and made to the image and likeness of God. Hence, as pens are made only to write with, so all men must have only one and the same end, namely, to serve God.” Summa Theologica, I-II, Q.5, A.8: “Happiness can be considered in two ways. First, according to the general notion of happiness; and thus of necessity every man desires happiness. For the general notion of happiness consists in the perfect good. But since good is the object of the will, the perfect good of a man is that which entirely 130. Sermons of The Cure of Ars, Page: 139 131. Sermons of The Cure of Ars, Page: 124

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satisfies his will. Consequently to desire happiness is nothing else than to desire that one's will be satisfied. And this everyone desires. Secondly, we may speak of happiness according to its specific notion, as to that in which in consists. And thus all do not know happiness, because they know not in what thing the general notion of happiness is found. And consequently in this respect not all desire it.” Summa Theologica, I-II, Q.1, A.5: “A man desires for his ultimate end that which he desires as his perfect and crowning good...It is therefore necessary for the last end so to fill mans appetite that nothing is left beside it for man to desire. Which is not possible if something else be required for his perfection. Consequently it is not possible for the appetite so to tend to two things as though each were its perfect good.” Summa Theologica, I-II, Q.1, A.4: “That which is first in the order of intention is the principle as it were moving the appetite; consequently if you remove this principle there will be nothing to move the appetite. On the other hand, the principle in execution is that wherein operation has it beginning; and if this principle be taken away no one will begin to work. Now the principle in the intention is the last end; while the principle in execution is the first of the things which are ordained to the end. Consequently on neither side is it possible to go on to infinity; since, if there were no last end, nothing would be desired nor would any action have its term nor would the intention of the agent be at rest; while, if there is no first thing among those that are ordained to the end, none would begin to work at anything and counsel would have no term but would continue indefinitely.” Right and Reason: Ethics In Theory and Practice, Pages 77, 83-84: Something below man Good of fortune: wealth, honor, power, etc. Man himself Goods of body; health, strength, beauty, etc. Goods of soul: knowledge, the good of the intellect, Virtue, the good of the will Goods of the body and soul together: Pleasure, enjoyment of a thing attained: egoistic, self-centered delight altruistic, doing good to others Self-realization, the process of attainment: of the individual, full self-development, of the race, advancement of humanity Something above man Angels or other unknown superior creatures God 1. Process of elimination. Nothing below man can make man happy, nor can man make himself happy; therefore only something above man can do so, and this is God. Goods of fortune and goods of body are given to few and held with anxiety, and lost in the end. Knowledge is toilsome, incomplete, and unsatisfying. Virtue, besides being hard to practice, is but a means to the end and not the end itself. Pleasure is but a means used by nature to allure us to use our faculties for other ends, and cannot be constantly enjoyed. Service of others supposes that these others have some last end. Self-realization results only in a fully developed man who cannot be satisfied with himself. Progress of the human race does no good to the individual now and leaves unanswered what the race is for. 35

2. Positive argument. God is required to satisfy all man's desires, because the intellect tends to all Truth and the will to all Good. God is sufficient, because all perfection is found in the Infinite and whatever a creature can do God can do better. Philosophical reason, though it can neither affirm nor deny a supernatural Beatific Vision, can establish man's destiny as at least a relatively perfect natural happiness, consisting in an analogical knowledge of God with its resultant love. This would have to be the condition of secure possession; there is no reason why it would have to be static or exclusive of perpetual growth. Difficulties can be answered as follows: 1. God is infinite, but man can attain Him only in a finite way that yields a finite enjoy of the Infinite. 2. Man's proximate capacity for happiness can be filled, but his remote capacity extends indefinitely. 3. One will not be envious of other's greater happiness because conformity to God's will is part of his own happiness. 4. Man's bodily faculties will either not be present or, if they are, will have their satisfaction. 5. As subsistent form, man's soul fitted to survive the body and can operate without it. 6. Possession of God gives substantial beatitude; other enjoyments pertain only to accidental beatitude. Council of Trent Article VII, “From Thence He Shall Come to Judge The Living And The Dead,” Page 86-87: “These are thoughts which the pastor should very often bring to the attention of his people; for the truth which is contained in this Article will, if accepted with faithful dispositions, be most powerful in bridling the evil inclinations of the heart and in withdrawing men from sin. Hence we read in Ecclesiasticus: 'In all thy works remember thy last end, and thou shalt never sin.' 132 And indeed there is scarcely anyone so given over to vice as not to be recalled to virtue by the thought that he must one day render an account before an all-just Judge, not only of all his words and actions but even of his most secret thoughts, and must suffer punishment according to his deserts. On the other hand, the just man will be more and more encouraged to lead a good life. Even though his days be passed in poverty, ignominy and suffering, he must be gladdened exceedingly when he looks forward to that day when, the conflicts of this wretched life being over, he shall be declared victorious in the hearing of all men, and shall be admitted into his heavenly country to be crowned with divine honors that shall never fade. It only remains, then, for the pastor to exhort the faithful to lead holy lives and practice every virtue, that thus they may be enabled to look forward with confidence to the coming of that great day of the Lord-nay, as becomes children, even to desire it most fervently. “The Venerable P. Juvenal Anzia, Bishop of Saluzzo, had before him a skull, on which was written: As I am, so thou shalt be.” 133 “For behold short years pass away: and I am walking in a path by which I shall not return.” 134 “Blessed are the dead, who die in the Lord.” 135

132. Ecclesiasticus 7:40 133. Sermons of St. Alphonsus Ligouri, Page: 250 134. Job 16:23 135. Apocalypse 14:13

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Works Cited Right and Reason: Ethics In Theory and Practice By: Father Austin Fagothey, S.J. IMPRIMI POTEST:Carroll O'Sullivan, S.J. Provincial NIHIL OBSTAT: Benedict M. Blank, O.P. Censor Deputatus IMPRIMATUR: John J. Mitty Archbishop of San Francisco May 3, 1958 The Angels By: Fr. Pascal P. Parente NIHIL OBSTAT: Joseph D. Brokhage, S.T.D. Censor Librorum IMPRIMATUR: Paul C. Schulte, D.D. Archbishop of Indianapolis December 28, 1957 The Sermons St. Alphonsus Ligouri For All The Sundays of the Year By: St. Alphonsus de Liguori Bishop of St. Agatha, Founder of the Redemptorists, and Doctor of the Church Holy Bible The Douay - Rheims NIHIL OBSTAT: Arthur J. Scanlan, S.T.D. Censor Librorum IMPRIMATUR: Francis J. Spellman, D.D. Archbishop of New York, New York February 3 , 1941 Original Publisher: The Douay Bible House, New York, 1941 Vocations By: Rev. William Doyle, S.J. NIHIL OBSTAT: Joannes Keane, S.J. Cens. Theol. Dep. IMPRIMI POTEST: Eduardus Archiep. Dublinen., Dublini, Jan., 1928, Hiberniae Primas. Dressing with Dignity By: Colleen Hammond Sexual Behavior and Selected Health Measures: (Men and Women 15–44 Years of Age, United States, 2002) By: William D. Mosher, Ph.D.; Anjani Chandra, Ph.D.; and Jo Jones, Ph.D. Division of Vital Statistics The Guardian Angels Our Heavenly Companions NIHIL OBSTAT: William J. Blacet. J.C.L. Censor Librorum IMPRIMATUR: +John P. Cody, S.T.D. Apostolic Administrator and Ordinary Diocese of St. Joseph August 29, 1956 The Autobiography of St. Anthony Mary Claret NIHIL OBSTAT: Emanuel Milagro, C.M.F. Censor Librorum IMPRIMI POTEST: Stephen, Emalida, C.M.F. IMPRIMATUR: Provincial Superior February 28, 1945 The Roman Catechism:The Catechism Of The Council Of Trent (Ordered By The Council Of Trent Edited Under St. Charles Borromeo Published By Decree Of Pope St. Pius V) Translated Into English With Notes By: 37

John A. McHugh, O.P., S.T.M., Litt.D. Charles J. Callan, O.P., S.T.M., Litt.D. NIHIL OBSTAT: V.F. O'Daniel, O.P., S.T.M. T. M. Schwertner, O.P., S.T. LR. IMPRIMI POTEST: J.R. Meagher, O.P., S. T. LR. Provincialis NIHIL OBSTAT: A. J. Scanlan. S. T. D. Censor Librorum IMPRIMATUR:Patritius J. Hayes, Achiepiscopus Neo-EboracensisNeo-Eboraci, Die 3 Januarii, 1923 The Twelve Steps To Holiness and Salvation From the works of St. Alphonsus Ligouri Adapted from the German of Rev. Paul Leick By Rev. Cornelius J. Warren, C.SS.R. The Glories Of Mary By: St. Alphonsus Liguori We hereby approve of this translation of the Glories of Mary, and cordially recommend it to the faithful. Nicholas Card. Wiseman, Archbishop of Westminster Given at Westminster of the Feast of Saint Alphonsus de Liguori, A.D. 1852 Second Edition We heartily recommend this translation of the Glories of Mary to all the disciples of her Divine Son. Henry E., Archbishop of Westminster. Aug. 11. 1868 The Sinner's Guide By: Venerable Louis of Granada Translated by a Dominican Father Vidimus et Approbabimus: F. C. H. Mc. Kenna, O.P. Fr. J. L. O'Neil, O.P. Revisores Deputati New York November 15, 1883 IMPRIMI POTEST: Fr. M. D. Lilly, O.P. Prior Provincial Province of St. Joseph November 15, 1883 IMPRIMATUR: John J. Williams, D. D. Archbishop of Boston By his Vicar General November 22, 1883 Sermons Of The Curé Of Ars NIHIL OBSTAT: Jacobus Canonicus Bastible Censor Deputatus IMPRIMATUR: Corelius Episcopus Corcagiensis et Rossensis Corcagiensis die 10 Austii, 1959 Copyright © 1960 By Henry Regnery Company, Chicago Sin And Its Consequences By: His Eminence Henry Edward Manning Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster The Hidden Treasure Holy Mass By: St. Leonard NIHIL OBSTAT: H. A. Brann, D.D. IMPRIMATUR: Michael Augustine Archbishop of New York, January 2, 1890 The Three Ways Of The Spiritual Life By: Father Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, O.P. NIHIL OBSTAT: Eduardus Can. Mahoney, S.T.D. Censor Deuputatus IMPRIMATUR: Leonellus Can. Evans Vic. Gen. Westmonasterii, Die 4a Maii 1938 38

Life and Doctrine of Saint Catherine of Genoa Complied by Her Confessor, Don Cattaneo Marabotto Pope Boniface VIII, Encyclical Unam Sanctam, 1302 http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/b8-unam.html Prayer The Key To Salvation By: Father Michael Mueller, C.SS.R. IMPRIMATUR: Martin John Spalding, D.D. Archbishop of Baltimore October 22, 1867 The True Spouse of Jesus Christ By: St. Alphonsus De Liguori NIHIL OBSTAT: Arthur J. Scanlan, S.T.D. Censor Librorum IMPRIMATUR: Patritius Cardinalis Hayes, Archiepiscopus Neo-Eboracensis Die 22 Julii, 1929 Forget Me Nots from Many Gardens An Ursuline Nun of Sligo, Ireland NIHIL OBSTAT: Richard A. O' Gorman, O.S.A. Censor Deputatus IMPRIMATUR: + Francis Archbishop of Westminster September 14, 1904 Copyright © 1904 R & T Washbourne 1, 2 & 4 Paternoster Row, London, and Benziger Bros., New York, Cincinnati and Chicago Chivalry By: Léon Gautier The Trial Of Jeanne D'Arc By: W. P. Barrett Translated into English from the Original Latin and French Documents

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