TO PROTECT AND SERVE
A Party Boys Production
MFO 51 Toilet Paper 29 OCTOBER 2008
E-4 MAFIA
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 10
Major Accomplishement: GTA IV Many hours of preparation have payed off. The soldiers of MFO51 are finally able to claim their rewards. Hundreds of soldiers have foregone classroom instruction and online college credit to spend the much needed time advancing levels in a variety of PS3, X-Box, and PC games. Personal achievements have include mastery of Grand Theft Auto IV, Civilization IV, Call of Duty I, II, III, and IV. Many other titles have also been mastered while here. One gamer commented on the fact that he would have
gone to college online if the internet did not suck, but playing the games provided the much needed distraction from the day to day crap to keep him from “killing himself and others!!” While our command will not admit to official awards being presented for video game excellence, a quiet pride will suffice as we return to Fort Lewis with a few days of fun left. Finishing strong with that video game level you cannot quite “get” will be the difference between a successful deployment and just another trip to the desert!!
Troopers Train For Spur Ride!
Buckeye Soldiers Head To “Yakistan” to Test Themselves!! According to a source deep within the ranks of the Ohio National Guard’s 1145th Armor, the troops are right now enjoying a pleasant stay in the armpit of the American Northwest. Our source claims that the Yakima weather is a bit milder that when we were there. The troops will be put through there paces at the ECP and OP’s. We are sure that the training will culminate in a ferocious firefight with some idiot is a white van taking sniper shots at a check point or two and then fleeing into the countryside to plan their next attack. When our replacements return to Lewis they will be offered a four day pass to enjoy the local sites and rest before the long trip to replace us. Pre-deployment contact has been made by our training team and wounded warriors that have returned for more appropriate care. Our staff has made contact with our replacements as well. The future of the Toilet Paper thru MFO 52 is assured!
Who Misses YAKIMA?
Newsletter Policies for Submission:
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no later than 24 hours before printing. This medium was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of events or news presented is fake and does not reflect the views or orders of the official people running our camp. Any similarity to actual events and people is purely coincidental and shall not be interpreted as truth. We accept submissions for content from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or below. Submissions are accepted on a first come-first served basis and there is no guarantee of publication. All submissions become the sole property of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please resend all articles for submission to the new email address. They will make the next issue. This news medium accepts submissions from
ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!
All submissions can be made to
[email protected]
29 OCTOBER 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 10
TOILET PAPER PERSONALS
“Nebraska” Barracks Requires Thorough Cleaning?
Dear WST Instructor: I lost my watch when you flipped me on the craziest piece of crap I ever saw for training. Did you find it and pawn it, or can I have it back?
ANOTHER GOLF OUTING
Jollyville Golf & Resort MFO “Fun” Golf Competition 7th November 2008 “Whack N Hack” Format Contact Alan Cartlidge (X 4239) OR
[email protected] for Information and to re-
- Aircraft Trainer BS Who left the shaved sheep chained to the fence at the ACP? If you do not remove it soon, members of another troop will claim it and invite it to a party.
Favorite new cocktail of the Month: BEER!! Lots of IT!!
Here’s Lookin At You, Pig!
serve your spot today!! $60 each covers golf, clubs, cart, and bbq all day!! Bus leaves SC at 9 am! Happy Soldier “Gasthaus” Under New Management!
Billy Smith FOR President!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Kegs, bottles, cans, pitchers, and glasses of it. Flowing like a river at Ft Lewis n Home! The South Camp PUB Crawl starts today for Everyone!
NEW Workout Regime for Troopers! Four New Exercises From Miller To Blast Your Workout! THE TRICEP TWIST
THE BEER RUN SQUAT
When taste is Imminent, Execution must Be Perfect!!
The Excitement Makes Lifting Easier!!
THE CURL
THE CELEBRATION PRESS
Reps May Vary!!
The Only Thing Left is to Exercise Your Tongue!!
www.mfotoiletpaper.blogspot.com
20 OCTOBER 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 10
MFO 51’s Leaving Super-Mega MALL Look and Feel Younger Now
People search the world over for the secret to life and of keeping a youthful glow. The one product for sale here is bathwater from a tub at a local beach. Bottled and tested in a lab in a small bedoiun hut, 200 vials of this “magic” water can be yours for only 8000 LE. Give the gift of longevity and youth to everyone!
MFO-ROOM DISCORAVE KIT!! Ever Wanted to Throw a Rave in your very own room? This slightly used package will outfit your room with lasers, glow-sticks, and all the flashy balls you can handle!! Act now and get a free OP Party Starter Kit!! Invite the locals and get to know your Bedouin Neighbors!! Especially up North!!
KEY TO FUN!! An unnamed source has a copy of a key for the training barracks. Perfect for a late-night rendezvous with your lover, or just some alone time with a special something?
LETS GET OFF THIS ROCK!!
LIKE NEW! MFO Tower Sleeping Sytem 15 LE O.B.O 250GB Portable HD For the person who has been everywhere and done everything, here is a Hard Drive full of compromising pictures suitable for remembering all the fun you have had while here. Photos and Movies can be edited with Photoshop or other software to switch faces or people in pictures for extra dramatic effect!!
HAPPY SOCK ADOPTION SERVICE
Burn Barrel Excitement One Each, “Hardly Used” Barrel 20 L.E. (Free lighter with purchase)
Editors Corner
Every RIP brings another group of happy socks to an untimely demise. Don’t let that happen this time. Sign your sock up for the Happy Sock Adoption Service. Don’t let your sock wander the streets alone and afraid. Let us help him find a loving home to call his own for the next cycle. Call OPSOUTH NOW, Before it is too late!!
www.mfotoiletpaper.blogspot.com
As our time here winds to a close we should be thankful to the people who helped us have such a memorable year in paradise. Make sure you take the time to thank everyone that will have to stay behind as our plane flies off into the sunset. As we leave let us remember the fun at the clubs, the movies and shows at the O’Duece, the food at the MDF, and the long hours spent in the sun. I am sure no one will be able to forget the long nights on ECP and in the dreaded towers. The haunting memory of that thing that grazed your leg under the water during WST will also be with you. Ordering food late night, the first day we went to town in Old Sharm or Naama Bay, and the frustration and fun we all had on the MWR trips. While this forum was fun to write, and at times hard to get participation with, it kept me sane and I hope you had fun with it. At Lewis there will be a final issue in this volume, and electronic copies of all issues are always available for the asking. BE SAFE and I will see you at SEATAC!