Maybe Forever...maybe Not

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

maybe forever…or maybe it’s not Jared entered the cafeteria in much need of a drink since people could be so brutal and competitive while playing dodge ball. He took a quick glance at the cafeteria and caught Caitlin Brenda’s eye in the crowd. Caitlin’s head was thrown back laughing. Her blonde hair shimmered, and blue eyes’ sparkled. Jared felt his heart quickens its pace!   “Lover boy, you gotta stop starring. You’re already turning pink. I never met a sensitive dude like you. Ever!” Nate roared with laughter. I quickly touched my face and felt the heat from the blood rushing into my cheek. Gary, Hollis, and Frankie all noticed my pale skin turn to a slight shade of pink. I wanted to go under the round table like I was 5 trying to stay away from a bully. Yet I couldn’t help but glare at Caitlin, the one who actually made my heart complete. Lissa saw me stare. I felt my face redden even more. I stood up and made my way to the lunch line, remembering my thirst. I watched as Lissa whispered something into Caitlin’s eye which made her turn around and took a quick glance at me and whisper something back. I knew she was talking about me so I made myself concentrate on the red wall, all the way on the far end of the cafeteria right next to the doors that lead to the courtyard. I quickly paid for my drink and went back to the table. The guys were talking about the NBA match coming up; Nuggets against the Lakers. I tried fitting in but my thoughts would beat them. I felt a shake on my shoulder. “What do you think, Jared?” Nate asked. Breaking away from my thoughts, “Um, completely agreed!” I replied trying to seem as if I was with the conversation. “Look at this guy. All he can do is think about precious Caitlin. He doesn’t even Page 1

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

pay attention to his own amigos, and yet he doesn’t have the nerve to ask her out.” He said. “Dude, if you like her go ask her out! If she says yes, well hip-hiphurray. If no well, best that you know how she feels about you than not at all. Right?!” he said. It was true, if she loved me, it would make my day if no then, well I don’t know. “Okay, you guys win, I am going to ask her out. BUT no betting!” I said. These people are the biggest gamblers ever. They make bets on everything. Whether it is about people hooking up or who was going to win in the game or the stupidest one who ever can figure out the color of Coach Richard’s face they get the $50, stupid right! I made my way to Caitlin’s table. Trying to think about how I will say my words correctly. Caitlin stared at me. Her eyes were excited. I sat in the empty seat right next to her, pushing the red sleeves of my sweater up. “Hey Jared,” she said. “Hello,” I said, I sound like a baboon, get some spine thinking to myself, “What’s up?” I said, still sounding like an idiot. Talking to her was like taking Mr. Tasso’s tests. Minutes flew by, waiting for her to respond. She looked at me and opened her mouth, “Do you want to ask me something?” she said. I ruffled my hair, suddenly realizing that the whole lunch room was quiet. I turned around to see everyone staring at me. I noticed that Nate was slapping $20 on the table while Gary did the same. Idiots! “Would you go out with me tonight?” I said shyly. Everyone, including me, leaned in to wait for her answer. She glanced around the room. With a small whisper, she said, “Yes.” Everyone talked, and from the corner of my eye I saw Gary take all the money, Jerks! I looked at Caitlin, watching her cheeks turn pinker. “So, um, I’ll pick you up at 7?” I asked. “Sure, that’ll be great,” she replied.

Page 2

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

I went back to the table, leaving Caitlin behind. The guys all looked at me and laughed. I felt my face flush. X

X

X

We were practicing for the upcoming swim competition. If we win we are off to the nationals, which is two days after my graduation party. Taking steady strokes in the water, nearly meeting the end of the lane, I heard someone call my name. I stood up and saw Nate signaling me over. I swam to him, when I reached him I took of my cap and wiped away the extra water away from my face. “Hey buddy, what do you need?” I asked. “Nothing I was just bored,” he shrugged; I just looked at him and flicked his forehead. “So, what’s up?” I asked. “Nothing really. How are you and Caitlin doing?” he asked, he seemed curious. “Fine, I guess, why?” I replied. I felt a little headache staring. There was something about Caitlin that was bugging me a lot. I couldn’t put my finger on it. “No reason in particular… When is Caitlin’s party?” he asked. He looked like there was more to say but he kept his mouth shut. Caitlin’s party was on May 27th. I was going to give her surprise party. I told everyone to come. “May 27th at 3:00,”I said. “Um, dude, I got to tell you something,” he said. There was a short pause. My mind wandered about the million of things he might have wanted to say. He opened his mouth, about to speak, and then Coach Richard blew the whistle. “REED YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT HERE NOW!!!” he pointed his chubby pink finger at me, turning redder and redder. He told us he a swimmer too, but I keep thinking whether he was drill instructor instead. Coach Richard will always have on short khakis and a polo shirt with a navy blue cap. His shoes and whistle was

Page 3

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

the only thing that ever bothered me. The shoes would always squeak. When it did it was freaking loud, I hated it. I looked over at Nate, shrugging and waved. Caitlin started to enter my mind, and I would always have constant replay of how she said yes to me in the Cafeteria. X

X

X

“Happy Birthday Caitlin,” I said. “Thanks!” She beamed with me. Her blond hair was in a pony tail. “So what are we going to do today?” she rested on the black interior looking out the black window. She turned the radio on into a soft mumble. “Well it’s a surprise.” I exclaimed. “What about my gift,” she threw me off, so eager dang. I thought. “Hold on,” I said. I reached to the back seat, digging for her gift. IT was hard to find especially since there were CD’s everywhere, including keys, bottle caps, and some other junks the guys left behind. I finally found it, the little black velvet box. It was handmade, so it’s worth something. “You want me to do the honors?” I asked. “Nah, I will do it myself,” she grabbed the box from my hand. I felt a little … weird. She opened the box the box revealing a ring. It had a small diamond, with a silver band. “Wow, this is so beautiful!” She squealed. “There is more!” I said. I took the ring from her. Showing her the little engravings I made the jeweler put on the ring. “To my Caitlin, I love you,” She looked at me and gave me a kiss upon my cheek. “I love you too.” She said to me. She looked at me. “Okay now part 2 of operation Birthday,” I smiled, making her laugh. “Okay,” she giggled. “But before we do you have to put on this blind fold,” I took out a black piece of Page 4

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

cloth from the glove compartment. She tied it around her face. “Okay let’s go!” I put the gear in D and we were off. Once Caitlin saw her surprise party, she gave me hug and ran off with her friends. Nate gave me a smirk. “So what’s up dude? I haven’t seen you, like, in ages!” he gave a punch in my arm. “Yo, I saw you like yesterday, you were talking to Scarlet at the Snack Shack! Then you waved at me,” looking at him in disbelief. Gary walked over, his arms around some girl’s waist. I gave a low chuckle. “Guys I would like you to meet, Natalia. She is a foreign exchange student from Spain.” He exclaimed. “Oh em gee, you must so proud your first relationship, ever! You must be so proud,” Nate said giving a goofy look. Natalia gave a small giggle, while Gary tuned bright red. It almost seemed as if he was giving away steam. “You’re goanna get it now Fisher!” He ran after Nate. They went racing along the lake and running by a few trees there. Natalia went off after them, giving me a little smile. I went over to the punch table, spotting Caitlin, Lissa, and some other people. I made my way over. Lissa saw me approach and smiled, Caitlin just kept talking. I put my hands around her waist, and kissed her soft blonde hair. She didn’t even pay attention to me, like as if she didn’t even know I was here. Something in my gut just didn’t feel right. During the first week of our relationship we went out, kissed, hang out, and acted like the perfect couple. I felt that everything in my life was now perfect. Now though my Caitlin seemed to be a bit, umm, grating. She wouldn’t pay attention to me for the last 2 weeks. I didn’t want it to talk about it; I didn’t want to put our relationship in jeopardy. I saw Jeremiah Surstien, call me. I looked to find him by his car -Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren- signaling me over. I let go of Caitlin, yet she didn’t stir. Jeremiah was a great guy, he was the best guy you can ever know, plus he gets all the girls, loads of money, and well anything else a perfect person should Page 5

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

have. “Hey Jared, how’s life man, killer party,” he said smiling one of those million dollar smiles. “Everything good, wha’ ‘bout you? Didn’t hear from you since like forever,” I replied back. It was true we hadn’t seen each other for a while. “Everything’s great, I see you found yourself a new girlfriend. What is her name?” he asked eyeing her. I noticed her watching us, blushing. I felt a pang in my chest. Now she turns around! “Her name is Caitlin, Caitlin Brenda.” I said looking back at him. “I see,” he slid his sunglass on his face. “So are you goanna hang around or go?” I asked, turning my attention to him. “I guess, I want a beer,” he shrugged. “Okay then go that way,” I pointed to him. This is the beginning of my curiosity with Caitlin. X

X

X

We were at the swimming competition; it was the last competition before the Nationals. If we won we would be in the nationals, if not… it wouldn’t be the first time. I was in the water; the whole completion was down to me. Everyone depended on me to win this, if I make our team go to the nationals, it would be the best thing that ever happened to us. Doing the 100 meter dash was hard work, my arms began to sore. Then I heard Caitlin, “Come on Jared you can do this!” with her voice settling into my ears it made every single pain in my body vanish, all of my energy was restored just like in video game when you earned life. I kicked as hard as I can, pushing the water behind me. All I could hear was the whistle in my ear. I saw the end of the wall coming closer and closer, I kicked harder and harder, just inches away, I took one huge gulp of air and went straight for it, I heard the buzzer, and looked up. The board read 1st place Jared Reed. Everyone screamed, I saw Coach Richards, jump up and down in happiness, I saw the my teammate slap each other’s back, but most of all I saw Caitlin smile at me, a smile I will treasure forever. Page 6

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

X

X

X

After the last competition, everyone surrounded me, and everyone wanted to be my best friend. It was cool for the first few days, but then it got plain annoying. It was also getting harder and harder to see Caitlin now a day. She is never is in the same place as I am in except school. When I did see her, her attention was elsewhere, leaving me out in the cold. I was in the Snack Shack; we were going to a party up in Fredrick Santiago’s house. Coming to the Snack Shack was like preparing for the worst during a tornado. My usual was a coke, skittles, and a big pack of Deli’s Chips. When I went into the store, I saw Caitlin. She was sitting on the chair, talking on the phone, I thought about surprising her until I heard my name. “Yah I like Jared, but I …” she trailed off. “I know but, there something about him that make me feel …I don’t know… special,” she replied back into the phone. “I know he has a reputation,” she snapped back. A reputation, I don’t have one except for being a good guy. All of my thoughts started to trail, what in the world was she talking about! “Jared is awesome, but,” she paused, “Jared is so himself, and different. I can’t take him, he is not my,” she got cut-off. I heard a weird buzzing noise, probably someone yelling. She continued, “Type… I just…” she trailed off. It all finally clicked, I wasn’t her type, I was myself, and I was awesome. I felt the bail build on the back of my throat, there was someone else, it was my final conclusion. Before I can think anything more, it was my turn to pay. “Hello,” he said. Trying to disguise my voice in a deep voice, “Hello,” he looked at me weird but shrugged. “Okay your total is $4.87,”he said. I reached for my back pocket getting the correct change. Page 7

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

“Thank, have a nice night. Next!” I still saw Caitlin on her phone, she didn’t bother to turn, my stomach did a flipflop, and my muscle’s ached. I knew it was the end. X

X

X

Today is my grand graduation party. I am finally going off to the NYU and leaving this old ratty town good bye. Then again I wouldn’t want to leave all the friends that I have here, especial Caitlin… and Nate too, of course. Oh my dear Caitlin… she broke my heart. My house was filled with people. You can actually feel the vibration of the music, talking and laughter combined together. I went through the kitchen and opened the back door, to see many people in the pool, while others were surrounding the patio table on the far left of the pool. I saw Caitlin talking to Lissa. Lissa looked confused, while Caitlin looked pissed. I wanted to talk to her I have been getting pretty curious; she has been losing my trust day by day. She wouldn’t come near me. If she was near me, she would ignore me. After what happened at the Snack Shack I felt the same pang in my chest from before. I made my way towards her till I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Nate looking at me. He looked worried, and depressed. “What’s up Nate?” I asked. He looked at me, “Nothing man … remember the day at practice before Caitlin’s party?” I nodded in response. He continued, “I tried to tell you something, but then Coach Richard made you leave, remember?” I nodded again, recalling that day. “Yea, um, about Caitlin you sho-,” he stopped, and then groaned because Lissa came up to me. “Um, Jared, be careful!”She said and ran off. With those sinking deeper and deeper into my heart, I knew instantly that today was not my day. I looked over at Nate, pity ran through his face. It was truly the end. Page 8

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

I ran into the house, dogging everyone, and went straight for the living room. The living room was packed, with people playing cards, watching TV, drinking, and/or mingling. I saw Caitlin, she was looking out the window, I walked towards her feeling as if time was slowing down on me. Caitlin looked up at me and smiled. Her blue eyes looked gray, and her hair paler than before. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the center of the room. What is going on?!!? Is trying to break up or say something else?! I was confused. What was she doing, why was doing it, and why in front of all these people? She yelled over the voices, “EVERYONE QUIET!” Everyone hushed down, not sound to be heard. “Thanks everyone, I have an important announcement to make,” she said. I felt my face burn and my heart quicken its pace. I felt dizzy and every part of my body ached. From the corner of my eye I saw Jeremiah smile, Nate and Lissa looked scared, Hollis uneasy, and Gary and Frankie both blank. All of a sudden I realized it was now and here that I would fall into misery. Caitlin cleared her throat, “I want all of you to witness this moment!” He voice had no certain tone to it yet I felt every second took an hour. “I love you so much, baby, but,” that but took me off, “we can’t be together!” She said it like it was disgusting word. Everyone gasped and I watched Caitlin smile, and Lissa crying in Nate’s arms. I felt like I was going to have stroke. I looked at her; I felt anger pulse all over my body. She went over to Jeremiah, hugging her. I looked, without a word to be spoken. I worked up the courage to just clap my hands. I clapped and clapped like it was a great scene in a film, everyone looked but I didn’t care. Caitlin looked at me; I gave a roar of laughter. And spoke, “Great Caitlin great. I am really surprised I have never expected this I really didn’t.” shaking my head in disapproval. “Get away from me,” Caitlin replied, clutching Jeremiah’s polo shirt. “NO!!! You get out here, you son of b****. I don’t care anymore. I have been suspicious about you ever since your birthday party, yet I didn’t think about it. Page 9

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

You have ignored me, it didn’t bother me, you talked to me for a second and walked away from me, it DIDN’T bother me! But know I see that the girl I would give life up for, give her anything she wants, anything just walks away from me, to go off with a snotty boy who thanks he is all that!” I laughed to myself as if it was great sarcasm. I felt Frankie walk over and whispered “calm down” I reply, “I will not calm down, cuz that little bratty girl goes off with a guy I knew my entire life, and deceived me. You know what I am actually okay wit this.” I paused for a second. “Caitlin would you ever be so kind to give me that ring I gave you,” in the most polite way possible. She took it off immediately and threw it at me. I took held the ring in my palm. “I quoted the engravings on the ring, “’ TO MY CAITLIN I LOVE YOU’” Everyone stared at me, some people hands were to their hearts, others glared at Caitlin angrily. I took the ring into my left hand squeezing it till my knuckles turned white and was screaming in pain. Jeremiah face had no expression what so ever, it made me angrier I squeezed harder and harder. Hollis grabbed my hand trying to make me break free of the grip –he won- letting lose the ring. It was crushed but only slightly, and the diamond was still in place. I little bit of blood feel on the wooden floor. I just looked at her. Nate cleared his voice beginning to speak. “Caitlin get out now,” in a soft voice. Lissa came over with a bandage. “I don’t need to be here,” She snapped back, a little bit of attitude mingled with her voice. “Then get out! NOW!!!” Nate yelled out the last part. She and Jeremiah went and everyone stayed silent. No vibration or anything shook me. Nate spoke again, “Congrats to everyone, I will – we will miss you all! But we would really appreciate it if you guys would leave.” Everyone got out the door Page 10

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

leaving in files. The whole house was quiet, everyone left except my true friends: Nate, Frankie, Hollis, Gary and also Lissa. “Jared, are you okay?” Lissa asked. In response I just shook my head. I flopped down onto the white leather sofa; Lissa sat down next to me and patted me on the back. Frankie picked up the ring from the floor and examined it, he tried to read the little engravings on the ring, but couldn’t it was crushed. He looked at me ruffling my shaggy hair, and said “it’s okay,” in hushed tones. My phone buzzed in my pocket, I took it out. The caller ID said it was Jeremiah, Oh Please. Everyone came to see what the caller ID said. Lissa said “No!” Everyone else said, “Yes!” I shrugged, and touched the green talk button. “What is it now?!” I yelled into the phone. “Dude, I’m-m-m sorry,” he responded, hushing someone in the background, Caitlin. “For what huh?! Destroying me, or deceiving me, or even hurting me? Huh! Tell me!” I snapped back. “I just wanted to explain … that we… love each other.” He whispered back. “All you care about is money, and how girls you can date, and how you can destroy your used-to-be lifelong friend.’ I screamed back. “I don’t care about that, you know that,” he said in sympathy. My nerves were starting to get higher and higher. “You know what, I actually don’t. In fact I don’t know anything about you, cuz it’s just a big lie!” I snapped the phone shut. My anger was getting stronger and stronger by the second. “What did he say?” Gary asked. I quoted his same words, “’ I just wanted to explain that we love each other,’” saying those works made me even more mad.

Page 11

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

I got up, and headed to the door, I heard Nate call after me once I got into the car, but I didn’t care! I didn’t even know where I was going, but I had to go somewhere, I couldn’t take it no more. X

X

X

I had no idea where I was, I looked over at the street sign apparently it was 44th street. I looked out my window, there were a few shops, couple of restaurants and a bar called Midnight. I got out of the car and headed to inside. It was crowded, body against body, it smelled like smoke and beer, and the band that was playing was singing something terrible all the way at the back of the bar. I spotted the bar it was not far from me a couple feet to my left. I went over to the bartender. “1 beer please,” I asked. “Sure,” he replied and disappeared under the counter. He came back within a second, giving me the beer, It was cold feeling good going down my throat. I asked for around 10 more, I felt dizzy at the 11th one. I got out of the bar, feeling sick. Far across the distance I heard someone call my name. Well, I guess my life is all planed out, it was wasted. I thought to myself. I fell on to the ground, I don’t know how long I was their till someone picked me up, I didn’t know who, but I was weak to open my eyes, it’s just like my future. Weak.  I found myself lying on my bed. I saw my mom looking at me, worried. I also saw Nate pacing back and forth; Frankie, Gary, and Hollis were playing with cards, Chinese poker I thought. I looked around, to find Lissa, but she was nowhere in sight. Before I could make any opinions, my mommy spoke. “Honey, are you okay?” She was worried. Everyone directed their attention and came over to me. “I’m fine,” I tried sitting up, feeling the pain. I let out a couple of oh’s and ah’s. Nate quickly grabbed me. “Man, take it easy, the doc said you should stay in bed for a couple of days.” I Page 12

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

got confused but only slightly. “Sweetie, you drank how could you? I allowed you to throw a party with everything you asked for. Still you went out and had 15 beers and lying on the sidewalk drunk. How can you do this to me?” she asked. She burst into tears you’re not the only one I thought. Lissa came in, “Are you all right? We got so worried!” she exclaimed. I nodded at her. I felt tired unable to move, I closed my eyes, I almost forgot how to open my eyes. My mom spoke, “Honey, get some rest we will talk about it later.” I closed my eyes once again letting them fall shut, I drifted off to unconscious letting my imagination run wild. X

X

X

It was the nationals; so far our team is in second place. After the day with what happened with Caitlin I have been grounded for awhile. My mom was worried but glad I was alright, everyone else was happy for me and yet sad too. Almost ¾ of the school came today to cheer us on. My feelings after Caitlin left were horrible. I couldn’t take it no more. Now and then I would think about her, I would see her when I daydreamed. Yet I was upset nothing can concur that. It was time for me to go and swim. I needed to swim as fast as I could to make our team win. All the pressure is on me. “Now Reed, I want you to win this, I want you to make us proud. WE need to win this okay!” he demanded. I nodded in reply. I didn’t talk much either after what had happened, I just nodded or shook, but nothing more. The announcer called my name, to come to the starting line. I made my way, 4 other schools were here, Barkley school was beating us by a couple of points, and I need to gain those couple points on our team play more. The announcer said, “On your mark get set GO!!” He let the gun pop. I dived into the water. I used every muscle in my body to help me go forward. People chanted my name from every corner of the pool, I heard Coach Page 13

Nazia Zaman

Class 8256

Richards, my mom, even Jeremiah, what Jeremiah. When I turned to continue, I saw Jeremiah, he was with Caitlin. All of a sudden I felt the emotion and images flip back to a week ago. I felt the anger pulse more and more, I kicked harder than I could have ever kicked. I felt sweat run down my forehead, even though I was in water. Then I in my mind I saw, how Caitlin said yes to me in the cafeteria. I stopped kicking, my arms stopped too, I stopped moving period. My whole body went numb. I couldn’t move or say anything. I heard sudden screaming, and my sight went hazy, I realized the pain was coming from my stomach. I saw the water turn red. My eyes were unfocused, and my hearing went faint. As my vision seemed to get darker and darker, I saw Caitlin holding the gun.

--The End

Page 14