Love.docx

Kumar Dhiraj

Hinglish Love story

KUMAR DHIRAJ 1

Hinglish Love Story

India’s first Hinglish Novelist

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Kumar Dhiraj

Hinglish Love Story Copyright © 2015 Kumar Dhiraj All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, Or transmitted, inany form or by means electronic, mechanical, Photocopying, or otherwise, without prior written permissionof the publisher or writer. Requests for permission should be addressed to Kumar Dhiraj ([email protected]).

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Hinglish Love Story

Acknowledgement and some Thoughts Thank you, dear readers and friends, for picking up ‘Hinglish love story’. Here’s thanking all those who helped me with this book... Friends who make my life worthy My family on Facebook and Twitter My computer and MS Office I want to share something with you, I am not writing to prove a point but to explore and present the gift given by god to me. I want to reach as many people as I can, if possible try to support and keep me grounded through that process. I don’t want to be a writer, but a thinker, waiting for your love. Welcome to Hinglish Love Story 4

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For my Parents For all Soldiers For all True Lovers

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Hinglish Love Story

‘Look dear ye tumhari love story hai mujhe issme koi interest nahi hai, aap ye Kisi aur ke saath share kar sakte hai.’ Maine thoda irritate hote hue kaha. Ussne mere jawab ke uttar main apna sar hilaya. ‘Kul mera interview hai aur main vahi jaa raha hu.Mere khayal se ye sahi waqt nahi hai inn sab baato ko krne ke liye.’ Mujhe neend aa rahi thi, Raat kafi ho chuki thi maine ghadi dekhi 12 baj chuke thee. ‘Main chahta hu aap sune’

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Train ke sleeper coach main hum dono baithe hue thee. Main jaipur jaa raha tha.Mere train main enter hote hi iss shaksh ne mujhe jaise dekha tha main tabi samajh gaya tha kuch gadbad hai. Mere hi coach main hone ki vajah se mujhse baat karne meri birth par aa gaya tha. ‘Main chahta hu aap iss par kuch likhe sir.’ He said Ek taraf toh mujhe aacha lag raha tha ke mujhe iss field main jyada waqt na hote hue bhi loge mujhe recognize karne lage thee, par doosri taraf gussa bhi aa rha tha kyoki uss waqt main ek toh bahut thaka hua tha aur doosra

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Hinglish Love Story

main love story ke upar koi project nhi karna chahta tha. ‘Aap mujhse chahte kya hai?’ I said ‘Main chahta hu aap meri kahaani ek baar sune’ Main thoda hairaan tha… Ke aakhir main hi kyo? ‘Aapko agar lgta hai ke apki love story par kuch likha jaa sakta hai toh aap chetan Bhagat, Ravinder singh jaise legends ke paas jaiye na. I am new to this field aur mujhe love story likhne main jyada koi interest bhi nahi hai toh…’ Isse pehle main apni baat poori kar pata mujhe beech main rokte hue ussne bina 8

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pooche apna introduction dena start kar diya. ‘I am Raj. I am from Delhi.’ ‘Ok, so what you do?’ ‘Main ek marriage bureau chalata hu’ ‘Ohhh…that’s great.’ Ussne bina pooche ya keh kar apne bag se wine nikali aur seedhe Bootle se muh lga ke 2 ghoot aandar kar liye. I was shocked. ‘Maine aapki novel padhi thi mujhe aachi lagi’ ‘Thank you atleast some people are reading.’ 9

Hinglish Love Story

Maine thoda soft hote hue kaha…. ‘Dekho yr aisa nahi hai ke main tumse ye sab naaraj ho kar keh rha hu, par main love story likhna hi nahi chahta kyoki hurr love story main vahi hota hai dukh, takleef, rona, emotions… rulao logo ko over likh-likh ke ek ek seen ko 10-10 line main kheech kheech kar aur main ye sab nhi kar sakta.’ ‘But sir…’ ‘Look Raj….abhi mera mood nahi hai par ho sakta hai aage agar mujhe laga ke mujhe love story likhi chahiye toh main tumhe jaroor bulaunga give me your number.’

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Ussne mujhe apna number diya aur fir apni birth par chala gaya.Maine bhi sukoon ki saas li k ab main so paunga. Mera dhayaan baar baar ussi ki taraf jaa raha tha isse pehle ki main kuch karta ek haath mujhe peeche se hila raha tha…. ‘Sir’ ‘Raj…what happen?’ ‘Sir, I want you to hear.’ Sach kahu toh gaali dene ka munn kar aa raha tha par mere paas ab koi raasta nahi bacha tha. ‘Tell me her name?’ ‘Piya’ 11

Hinglish Love Story

‘Ok, tell me your love story I am listening.’ ‘Not a love story sir, it’s an incomplete love story, Jo school se start Hui aur college main khatam…..shayad vaha bhi khatam nahi Hui.’ ‘Listening’ I said

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Kumar Dhiraj

PART-I School Days

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Hinglish Love Story

Hurr aadmi apni kismat lekar paida hota hai main bhi hua tha par pareshaani ye thi ki meri kismat kab kis taraf palat jae kuch pata nahi chalta tha. July 2002 Main taiyaar tha fir se school join karne ke liye kyoki meri summer vacations khatam ho chuki thi. Main upset tha, issliye nahi ki vacations khatam ho gyi thi, par issliye ki ab board ke exams thee aur study ke pressure ko lekar main abhi se pareshaan tha. Unn dino study main mera jyada munn lagta bhi nahi tha, aur bad in study means bad in life means I am in short ‘Useless’ Jaisa ke maine bataya humare school open ho gaye thee. Mera school mere 14

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ghar se 1 hours ke distance par tha toh aane jaane ke liye main school bus ka hi use karta tha.Uss din sab ek doosre ko cards, chocolates etc de rahe thee, main bhi apne school aur class main kafi popular tha jiski vajah se mujhe ek bhi card ya chocolate nahi mila. Usske peeche bhi ek reason tha vo tha mera ‘Useless category’ main hona. Doosri field main mera performance humesha aacha rehta tha jaise class bunk main ya fight main etc etc. Jiski vajah se ‘Highest Annual Punishment Achiever’ ka award mujhe hi milta tha. Sab vacations ke baad aaye thee toh apniapni kahaniya bata rhe thee. Mere dost ne mujhe bataya ke usse ek ladki se pyar ho gaya means love. 15

Hinglish Love Story

Pyar…love uss waqt mujhe ye sabse irritating aur useless topic lagta tha. Ek doosre ki taraf ghanto bina bole dekhte rehna aur muskuraate rehna, paglo ki tarah aage peeche ghoomna aisa lagta tha insaan, insaan nahi koi kutta ho. Maine apne dost se bhi yahi kaha toh usska bhi vahi purana ghisa pita jawab tha ‘yahi toh pyar hai’. Mere liye pyar uss waqt ek aisi cheej tha jisse sirf ‘Abnormal’ loge hi kar sakte hai. Garmiya khatam ho rahi thi toh weather bhi change ho raha tha aur uss din halki-halki baarish pad rahi thi. Main bus stop par kaha ho kar apni school buss ke aane ka wait kar rha tha…sorry, apni behan ka umbrella 16

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haath main liye buss ka wait kar raha tha.Ye kaafi irritating tha ladies umberellla le kar road par wait karna par mere pass koi option nahi tha kyoki mera umberella toot gaya tha. Bus aayi aur mere saamne aa kar ruki. Main buss main enter hua hi tha ke peeche baithi ladkiyo ki ‘khi-khi’ start ho gyi thi. Vo mujhe dekh kar smile de rahi thi. Uss waqt aisa laga ke sabko maar hi daalu…ladkiya ek sar dard thi mere liye. Main sochta tha kaash ek din aisa aaye ke shakshaat prabhu mere saamne aa jae aur pooche ‘Bata balak tu kya chahta hai, apni 3 wish maang le’ toh meri ek wish inn ladkiyo ke liye jaroor 17

Hinglish Love Story

hoti aur vo ye hoti ke inhe thoda sa dimag de do. Aap soch rahe honge main aisa kyo keh rahah hu toh uske reason bhi deta hu… 1) Agar Bf aur Gf ki fight hoti hai aur galti Ladki ki hai tab bhi maafi Ladke ko hi maangni padegi aur punishment alag. 2) For me girls are like ‘complaint box’ inhe buss chance chahiye complaint karne ka. 3) Agar ladke se koi kaam karvana hai Jo vo khud nahi kar sakti toh ek smile de kar thoda emotional ho kar keh do aur jab kaam ho jae toh ‘bye’ keh kar chalte bano.

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Aur bhi reasons hai par abhi ke liye itne hi kaafi hai. Kahani par vapas aate hai.Kuch time baad buss hume lekar school pahuch chuki thi vo ladkiya ab bhi wait kar rahi thi ke main neeche utar ke apna umberella kholu aur unhe ‘khi-khi’ karne ka chance mile.Beep … Beep…that’s why I didn’t open it and ran to my class. Kyoki baarish bahut tej thi toh main bheeg bhi gaya tha. Assembly kahtam ho chuki thi aur hum sab class main aa kar baith gaye thee. Main second bench par baitha tha….Peeche se second par.

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Teacher attendance le rahi thi ki tabhi aawaj aayi ‘May I come in madam? BC kya voice thi. Main apne dost ke saath abhi bhi unn ladkiyo ko kose raha tha umberella vali baat par. Maine udhar dekha I found someone inside raincoat just enter the class room. Face toh nahi dikh raha tha because of raincoat and ‘Angle’ na banne ki vajah se, par jaise hi ussne apna raincoat utara I saw her long and straight hairs. Usska face usske wet hairs se cover tha ,main usske peeche ka chehra dekhne ki koshish kar hi raha tha and finally I saw her…Brown eyes, white face, sweet 20

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smile kisi magnet ki tarah jo kisi ko bhi apni taraf attract kar sakti thi. Suddenly shocked…..whats that...what I am thinking? Vo bhi ek ladki ke baare main….mujhe uss waqt laga jaise main classroom main nahi kahi aur hi tha. Main shayad ussi duniya main rehta agar ek aawaj beech main interrupt na karti ‘Nineteen’ ………..Roll no. Nineteen. Vo main tha ‘Present Madam’. Mujhe kya ho gaya tha? Am I sick? No, I am not mad, mera poora din yahi sochte hue gujar gaya tha. Mera behavior bhi uss din ke baad ajeeb sa ho gaya tha. 21

Hinglish Love Story

Next day main kuch jaldi hi uth gaya tha. School ke liye ready hone ke baad bhi main baar-baar mirror ke saamne jaa raha tha, ye dekhne ko kya main sahi lag rha hu. Humari class main 2 rows hua karti thi. One for boys and another for girls. Vo third bench ke corner par baitha karti thi near to boy’s row. Uss din se Jo ladka boys row ki third row ke corner par baitha karta tha vo mera sabse bada dushman ban chuka tha. Mera target ab kaise bhi vaha baithne ka tha, aur usske liye mujhe usse kaise bhi convence karna tha. Maine pata karvaya usse chocolates bahut pasand thi. Maine papa ke wallet se paise chura kar usske liye 25 22

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chocolates khareedi aur emotional bahana ye tha ‘Bhai main ab padhna chahta hu, kuch karna chahta hu.Tu mujhe aage baith kar padhne de, tu toh vaise hi intelligent hai…. help me’. Trick kaam kar gayi aur vo maan gaya. Finally mujhe mauka mil gaya uske kuch pass baithne ka. Main bahut hi nervous feel kar raha tha, itna nervous toh main uss exam paper ko dekh kar bhi nahi hota tha jisme mujhe kuch nahi aata tha. Aakhir main vaha jaa kar baith gaya ye soch kar ke mujhe notice toh karegi voh par ussne mujhe ek baar dekha tak nahi. Main usse jyada aur black board ko kum dekhta tha par 23

Hinglish Love Story

usse eye contact tak nahi hua tha koi improvement nahi. Par jaisa ke hum jaante hai ki god is great vo din bhi aa gaya. Teacher uss din bole kar hume notes likhva rahi thi vo bhi likh rahi thi. Jab vo likhti thi toh uska head kuch jyada hi jhuka hua rehta tha jisski vajah se usske face par usske baal aa jaate thee aur vo unko apne haath se apne ears ke peeche laga liya karti thi.Mujhe aisa lagta tha ke ye scene main jindagi bhar dekhta rahu. Ok ok ok point par aate hai ab.Toh jab sab likh rahe thee sirf mujhe chode kar toh main pen se khelne aur usse dekhne main busy tha. 24

Kumar Dhiraj

Aachanak se mere pen ka cap neeche gir gaya main usse uthane ke liye jhuka hi tha ke vo bhi usse uthane ke liye jhuki and give me a smile.Ohhh shitman…it was like a Granite…. No Atom bomb…No Nuclear bomb blast inside my hurt. Main uss moment ko words main bata bhi nahi sakta. Main shayad hi apni jindagi main uss smile ko kabhi bhool pau. I think I am in love with her. Love her? Wait…wait…from where this word comes? I mean I am in love? Mere saamne ye ek sawal banke khada ho gaya tha jiska jawab mere pass nahi tha. Exams aane vaale thee sab preparation kar rahe thee aur 25

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main apne hi sawaalo main uljha hua tha. Exams aaye aur chale gaye, main dukhi issliye nahi tha ke mere exams kharab gye thee par issliye dukhi tha ke inn exams ke baad vactions honi thi aur agle kuch dino tak main usse nahi dekh paunga. Mujhe laga ke ab ye pata lagana hi padega ke vo rehti kaha hai aur usske liye apne frnd ko ye sab batatna bhi padega. Mujhe iss kaam main unki help ki jaroorat padegi. Vactions ke pehle hi din maine apni cycle uthae aur seedhe apne dost ke yaha pahuch gaya aur saari baat bata di. 26

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Par vo saala asli harami tha jaise ke aksar dost hote hi hai. Ussne kaha ke vo meri help tabhi karega jab main ye admit kar lunga ke ‘I love her’and at last I have to accept that. Ab sab pakka ho chuka tha aur planning start ho gyi thi. Iss plan main ek aur ki entry hui vo thi mere uss friend ki gf. Ladki ka saath hona iss tarah ke case main shayad success ke liye aacha hi tha.Vacactions main teacher’s students ko tution diya karte thee in their own house. Bata du ke mere uss friend ka name Akshay aur uski gf ka name Gauri tha.

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Akshay ne jab pata lagaya toh pata chala ke vo bhi ek tution main padha karti hai aur akshay ka friend bhi vahi padhta hai. Toh ab ye pata laganae ke liye k vo kaha rehti hai ye jaroori tha ke uska peecha tution se hi kiya jae. Tution humare ghar se 5 km door tha toh problem ye thi ki hume bhi ek bike ki jaroorat thi jisse peecha kiya jaa sake. Akshay ke dad mom dono job kiya karte thee aur subah 10 baje chale jaate thee aur evening main 6 baje aate thee.Hume bike chahiye thi afternoon main kyoki uska tution tha 3 baje se toh kaam ban sakta tha, par ek problem aur aa gyi agar hum bike le jaate toh uska servant dekh leta aur uski 28

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shikayat uske mom dad se kar deta. Akshay ko bike le jaana allowed nahi tha.Ek reason aur bhi tha Akshay ke pas licence nahi tha aur uska servant Deepu usse chidta bhi tha kyoki ek baar Akshay ne Deepu se panga kar diya tha. Vo ek baar Deepu ke room main gaya tha. Vo vaha nahi mila par uske bed par ek gandi magazine padi thi Akshay ne isski shikayat apne mom dad se kar di jiski vajah se usse bahut daat padi thi tabhi se vo Akshay se chidta tha. Iss kahani ko sunne ke baad achanak se mere chehre par smile aa gayi…ok...Akshay asked me... Why I am laughing? 29

Hinglish Love Story

Main bina kuch kahe usse apne saath bahar le gaya. Kuch der baad hum ek video cd ki shop ke saamne khade thee and after some time we are coming out of the shop with a porn cd’s in our hands. ‘Look buddy agar tu kisi se kuch nahi kahega toh tujhe roj ek cd dekhne ko denge aur Akshay bhi tujhse kuch nahi kahega’ I said to Deepu.Ussne Akshay ki taraf dekha ussne haa main sar hila diya toh deal was done. Next day hum poori tarah ready thee jaise hi akshay ke dad mom nikle hum bike le kar chal diye I was really excited at that time. Akshay 30

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asked me ‘Jab milega tab kya kahega?’ I said ‘Nothing I just want to see her.’ Akshay said ‘Ab samajh main aaya kyo lover’s ek doosre ko bine bole aankh main aakh daal kar ghanto dekhte rehte hai.’ I said ‘Hmmm’ Hum time se kaafi pehle pahuch gaye thee . Ab hum gauri ka wait kar rahe thee jo aa rahi thi apna pyar nibhane, vahi mujhe apne pyar ke liye wait karna tha. At 2:50 pm I saw her with a man jo ho sakta hai usske father ho came to drop 31

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her.Ussne mujhe dekh liya tha par as usual na dekhne ka drama bhi kiya. She went inside the house. Main khush tha ke room ki window se vo mujhe ab bhi dikh rahi thi.Vahi par saamne tea shop thi agle 1 hr tak main usse dekhte-dekhte 10 tea k cups pee chuka tha, after that she came out of the house look at me give smile and wave bye. I do the same.Main satisfy tha, khush tha. Hum shaam ko 5 baje ghar pahuche his servant was still enjoying that video. I missed her in my whole vacations. Vacation khatam hui main khush ho kar school pahucha toh ye khushi bhi dukh main badal gayi, jab ye ptata 32

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chala ke next period main math ke teacher marks bataenge. I felt like someone …’Raped me.’ Vacations aur pyar ke chakkar main ye bhool gaya tha ke marks ka ‘Bomb’ bhi footne vala hai iske baad. Assembly ke baad jaise hi class main ghusa toh usse dekha toh as usual she is looking beautifull, ussne mujhe dekha aur dekh kar smile di aur ‘Hiii’ kaha. I wished her back. Par uss waqt uski smile bhi mera durr door nahi kar pae thi. Mujhe iss baat ka durr nahi tha ke mere kum marks aaenge, durr iss baat ka tha ke marks sab ke saamne batae jaenge. First period over hua aur maths ke sir ki entry hui with the copies in there hands. 33

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Sabse pehle usske marks aaye… ‘80’ but she seemed disappointed. Ye bhi ek usual si baat hai ladkiyo ke marks agar 100 bhi aa jae toh bhi vo ye expect karti hai ki 1 aur mil jaata toh aur aacha tha. Par ussne apni copy desk ke neeche rakh di aur teacher ko dekhne lagi jaise wait kar rahi ho kis ka….kiska….mere marks ka?...Nahiiiiiiiii Finally, my turn came I scored 37. Isse pehle ki mujhe lagta I was raped I just felt like I have been ‘Gangraped’ in front of 50 people. Maine check kiya ke mere marks sunne ke baad vo apni copy check karne lag gyi thi matlab she was waiting to know how much I 34

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have scored. Dipressed and ashamed. Life main pehli baar lag raha tha ke kum marks ke liye rou. Aisa nahi hai mere isse pehle kum marks nahi aaye the, isse bhi kum aaye thee par tab panga nahi tha. Kaise bhi vo din khatam hua and we went back to home. Next day, main class main aaya par ussme koi change nahi dekha ussne vaise hi mujhe dekh kar muskura kar ‘Hiii’ bola.Uss din mujhe laga ke mujhe mere saare sawalo ka jawab mil gaya hai….yes I love her…..I love her a lot and I will love her till the end of my life.Usske baad se jaise-jaise din gujarte jaa rahe thee mera pyar usske 35

Hinglish Love Story

liye badhta jaa raha tha. Ab main jaanboojh kar apna pen neeche fek deta tha aur vo bhi usko utha ke mujhe smile ke saath de diya karti thi.

It was my birthday main ussko dene ke liye chocolates laya tha, par meri himmat ab bhi nai ho rahi thi ke main usse jaa kar vo chocolates du. Maine akshay ko vo chocolates de di usko dene ke liye.Ussne akshay ko daat kar vo chocolates lauta di. I understand ke usse ye nahi pata tha ke mera B’day hai par main dukhi usske attitude ko lekar tha. Ussne aaj kul mujhe avoid karna start kar diya tha, shayad issliye

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coz I was not good in studies. It hurts me and I get angry. Kuch dino baad farewell party thi seniors ki aur usske baad 15 days ki preparation leave thi final exams ke liye. Ussne mujhe farewell main bhi avoid kiya. Mujhse study bhi nahi ho paa rhi thi. Final exams thee mujhe laga ki main iss baar pakka fail ho jaunga. Mere dimag main ek baat ghar kar gayi thi ke vo chahe kuch bhi soche mujhe ye prove karna hai ke main usse deserve karta hu, varna jindagi bhar mujhe iss baat ka gum rahega ke mujh main hi koi kami thi jisski vajah se main usse paa nahi saka. Agle din main utha papa ke pass 37

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gaya aur bola ‘I need a tutor for the next 20 days.’Mere father ne allow kar diya ye sock kar ke maine pehli baar khud kuch study ki baat ki hai aur saath main ye bhi soch kar ke shayad main pass hi ho jau. Maine apni cycle uthae aur humare school ki lady teacher ke yaha pahucha. Vo maths ki teacher thi uss din se main daily 2 baar tution jaata tha aur 24 hours main se 18 ya 19 hrs study karta tha. Studysleep yahi mera routine ho gaya tha. Exams over hue main ‘Pehli baar’ main result ka wait kar raha tha . Saath main ye bhi dekhna chahta tha ke iss aakhri daav main kitna safal hua. Kum se kum akhri baar toh kuch 38

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kar jau. Mere father nahi chahte thee ke main school jau result dekhne kyoki vo nahi chahte thee ke unke frnds ke saamne unki insult ho. Unke friends ke bacche bhi mere saath hi padhte thee. Unhe pura bharosa tha ke mera result toh bekar hi aana hai. Maine mother se permission li aur chup- chaap nikal liya. School pahuch kar main usska wait kar raha tha. Tabhi vo saamne se pink dress main kisi lady ke saath aati hui dikhae di vo shayad usski mom thi. She saw me and pretends that I was nothing for her. Mera dil toot gaya tha. Ok fine now its time for the result. 39

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Mere saath mera ek dost aur tha Nikhil aaj main ussi ke saath tha. Vo meri ‘Category’ ka hi tha. Humare college ke kuch loge aaye aur wall par result paste kar ke chale gaye. Result 3 parts main divide tha…. Who scored 60% and above. Who scored between 45% to 60% Who scored below 45% Humne 3rd vali list se check karna start kiya. Hum dono ka hi name nahi tha list main jisse hum kaafi durr gaye thee. Fir second list ko check kara ussme Nikhil ko apna name mil gaya tha. He scored 58 % par mujhe ussme bhi 40

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apna name nahi mila. Maine 3 baar uss list ko check kiya par ussme mera name nahi tha. I was depressed. 1st list ko toh check karne ka sawaal hi nahi tha.Uss waqt aisa lag raha tha ke main duniya ka sabse bada haara hua insaan hu, shayad papa sahi hi kehte thee I am useless person. Tears just drop down from my eyes. I saw her infront of me she turn around and went away. Main thaka hua, haara hua jaa kar buss main baith gaya. I want to be alone that time. Tabi achanak se Akshay buss main aaya aur chillaya… ‘Where is the party man? I want it now.’ 41

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Maine dabi hu aawaj main kaha’Party….for what?’ Ussne kaha-’Kyo majak kar rha hai yr…. you have scored a distiction in two subjects with first division.’ What? What the hell is that? If he is kidding I swear I will kill him. I ran like a bird inside and saw that…. Yes... I have done that. Mera name first list main tha.Vaha se main seedha PCO ki taraf bhaaga and called my father. Jab maine unhe bataya ke main school main hu toh unhone pehle toh mujhe daata ke main school kyo gaya fir kaha ke apna result kisi ko batana mut. I said ‘Main to kisi ko nahi bataunga par ho sakta hai aap jaanne 42

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ke baad sabko jaroor bataye kyoki I have scored distinctions in two subjects and I cut the phone.’Uss din kisi ne bhi koi question mujhse nahi poocha tha. Humare School main ye rule tha ke jiss bhi student ke 60% above marks aaenge uss student ko ceremony function main award diya jaata tha.Uss ceremony main usse bhi bulaya gaya tha. Ceremony main pahuche toh sabse pehle ussi par nigah gayi. Aj vo mujhe kuch ghoor ke ajeeb tarah se dekh rahi thi. Apna bhi uss waqt time aacha tha toh I ignored her and sit on my seat. Host sabke marks bole kar stage par award lene ke liye bula raha tha. 43

Hinglish Love Story

Finally mera number aaya toh I stood up and looked at her just for a while she smiled but I’m not. I received my trophy.That was the last day. Mujhe nahi pata tha ke ab aj ke baad main usse mil bhi paunga ke nahi kyoki mujhe nahi pata tha ke ab kis college main admission lena hai, aage kya karna hai? Raat ke 2 baj chuke thee mujhe neend bhi aa rahi thi subah mera job interview tha. Vo bhi jaipur jaa raha tha toh maine use usska number liya aur kaha ‘Abi so jaate hai kyoki main kul jaipur main hi hu toh I will call you tomoroow to listen it further’ he agreed. 44

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Interview ke baad maine socha ke seedhe hi nikal jau par adhuri kahani kabhi bhi mujhe nahi pachti, issliye shayad mere andar ek ajeeb si bechaini thi uss kahani ko aage sunne ki toh maine usse call kiya-’Hello Raj here.’ ‘Dhiraj here…..Aap mujhe kaha milenge?’ ‘Sir, Hawa Mahal ke pass milte hai.’ ‘Ok.’ Kuch der baad hi hum Hawa Mahal ke saamne baithe thee. ‘So tell me what happened after that?’

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‘Sir, ye silent story college main jaa kar…..ek tea ho jae?’ ‘Sure’

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PART-II College Days

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Finally vo din bhi aa gaya. Meri college life ka pehla din. Main uss din bahut khush tha. New college, new friends. Main aache se ready ho kar buss se college pahucha. Poore campus main celebrations chal rahi thi, aisa lag raha tha jaise koi festival hai. Kehne ko toh ye sirf first year students ke liye tha par sab itna aacha tha ke pta nahi chal raha tha ke kon senior hai kon junior. Loud conversations and laughter ne college ke environment main ek energy si bhar di thi. Freshers uss bheed main alag hi najar aa rahe thee coz of their body language. Seniors jaha relax aur cool thee, vahi humare face par anxiety jyada reflect kar rhi thi. 48

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Ye college humare yaha ka sabse bada college tha. Mujhe ek umeed thi ki shayad Piya bhi issi college main aayi hogi. Kahi na kahi meri aakhe usse hi dhoond rahi thi par vo mujhe kahi nahi dikhi. College ko1 month ho chuka tha iss beech kaafi kuch badal chuka tha. Meri soch bhi aur meri life bhi. Meri umeed ke vipreet mujhe ek sweet si ladki ne prapose bhi kar diya tha par ye alag baat thi ke maine use ‘Hold’ par daal diya tha kyoki mujhe abhi bhi Piya ka intzaar tha. Roze ki tarah uss din bhi main apne buss stop par pahuch kar buss ka wait kar raha tha. Buss aayi jaise hi sar ko 49

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utha kar dekha window seat par…..Piya……..440 v ke current ka ek jore ka jhatka laga. Main jam sa ho gaya tha uss waqt. Buss ke horn ne mujhe yaad dilaya ke mujhe uss buss main chadhna bhi hai. Main achanak jaise neend se jaga aur jaa kar buss main baith gaya. As usual she gives me smile. Buss college pahuch chuki thi par aisa lag raha tha ke aaj kuch jyada hi jaldi college aa gaya tha. Class main study main munn nahi lag raha tha, dil main hajaro sawaal thee. Jaise taise kar ke vo din gujra. Main buss main theek usske peeche vali seat par baitha usse dekh raha tha. Tabhi buss main ek blast sa hua…buss ka tyre puncture ho gaya tha. Sabhi ladke jaha khush thee vahi 50

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sabhi ladkiya pareshaan. Kahi na kahi andar se main bhi khush thaa kyoki ab mujhe jyada time milega usse dekhne ka. Maine dekha vo apne cell se call kar rahi thi shayad ghar par batane ke liye. ‘Mere phone main toh signal hi nahi aa rahe’-she said in frustration Pareshani ki lakeere usske sundar chehre par mujhe bilkul aachi nahi lag rahi thi. Humara college city se kafi door tha jiski vajah se mobile signal ki problem bani rehti thi.Vo vaha kisi ko jaanti bhi nahi thi abi aache se toh kisi se help bhi nahi maang sakti thi. Pata nahi mere andar kaha se uss waqt 51

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achanak se himmat aa gyi and I said to her-’Aap mere cell se kar sakti hai.’ Aachanak se mere iss tarah se react karne par vo kuch shock hui. Maine kaha toh dheere se hi tha par aksar iss tarah ki baat aap chahe kitna bhi dheere se keh lo pata nahi kaise sab ko sunae de jaati hai.Uss waqt aisi feeling ho rahi thi jaise shot toh bahut upar gaya hai par pata nahi ball six par jaegi ke nahi. At the end ussne mera phone le liya. ‘Papa hamari buss kharab ho gayi hai, hum late aaenge Ok.’- keh kar ussne mera phone mujhe lautate hue ‘Thanks’ kaha fir ekdum se peeche palti aur kaha –’Actually vo mere papa ka number hai 52

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plz agar koi call uss number se aaye toh bata dena.’ ‘Ok...kis company ka number hai’ I said just baat karne ke liye ‘Tames ka’-she said ‘Ohhh….Mera bhi issi ka hai.’ ‘Aur mera bhi.’ She said Tabhi mera phone baj utha maine jab call pick kari toh udhar se aawaz aayi ‘Piya’ main samajh gaya usske papa ka call hai maine usse bulaya-’Piya tumhara call hai.’ Mere muh se apna name sun ke vo thoda sa shock hui par fir phone le kar boli-’Ha papa…abhi time lagega. 53

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ye friend ka number hai mere main signal nahi aa rahe ok.’ ‘Friend’ sun kar aas-pass baithe sab ladko ke kaan khade ho gye. Vo sab mujhe aise dekh rahe thee jaise unke beech koi ‘Alien’ aa gaya ho. ‘Thanks Raj.’ She said She knows my name wow….Itti khushi Itti khushi…..par aas pass ka maahaul dekh kar ye khushi maine apne andar hi rakhna shi samjha. ‘Apke mobile main toh signal aa rahe hai, par mere main nahi aisa kyo? Iss me toh kabhi kabhi paise bhi cut jaate hai, kul hi 50 Rs cut gaye bina kuch kare.’ 54

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‘Aap mujhe apna number de do mera ek friend hai isske office main may be vo kuch kar pae.’ I said Ussne mujhe apna number aur address de diya. ‘Ok main baat karke batata hu apko.’ Jaane kon si jaan pehchan ke dum par maine itne bade dialouge maar diye thee usske saamne. Ab lag raha tha kya karunga par filhaal buss theek hui aur hum sab ghar pahuche. Mere buss se utarte waqt ussne haath hila kar bye kiya buss main fir ek baichani si bhar gayi.

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‘Abe tera kon sa tau baitha hai vaha office main? Kya BC kar aaya...ab kya kare? Karan ke saath baitha hua main apna jhoot share kar raha tha par vo mujhe solution dene ki jagah durraye jaa raha tha…. ‘Pata nahi bhai, ab nikal gaya muh se josh main uss time toh…’ ‘Kya baat hai…toh karo ab sahi.’ ‘Kya yr….ab ye sab chodo aur solution batao na izzat ki baat hai, uska balance kaise vapas laya jae.’ Dono mil kar soch hi rahe thee ke kahi kisi ka connection toh nikle tabhi karan chillaya …’Mil gaya.’ 56

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‘Kya’ ‘Customer care ko call kar iska call centre toh yaha bhi hai na.’ ‘Parrr’ ‘Areee laga na’ Phone lagaya…’Tring Tring …namaskar main ajay apki kis tarah sahayta kar sakta hu.’ ‘Ji ji…vo main Raj bole raha hu vo mujhe ek help chahiye thi apne friend ke number se regarding’…usse maine sab bataya. ‘Sorry sir, iss Vishay par hum apki koi help nahi kar sakte, agar balance

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deduct hua hai toh Kisi facility ke liye hi hua hoga.’ ‘Sir, please ye bahut important hai aap…’ Karan ne mujhse phone le liya… ‘Sir Ladki ka mamla hai, kar do na help paise aap le lena humse…’Aisa keh ke ussne call cut kar di. ‘Abe ye kya kar diya?’ I said ‘Tera bhala’ ‘Tabhi mere number par Kisi unknown number se call aayi…. ‘Hello’

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‘Hello, main ajay bole raha hu ye mera personal number hai. Abi aapse baat hui thi na.’ Main khushi se pagal ho gaya tha maine bina wait kare ek saas main poori baat usse bata di. ‘Ok sir, aapka kaam ho jaega main aaj kar ke kul milta hu aapse.’- Ajay ‘Thank you sir’ Thodi der main hi Piya ki call aa gayi. Pehli baar main toh maine uthae hi nahi kyoki apni phone ki screen par usska name flash hote hue dekh kar ek ajeeb sa sukoon mil raha tha doosri baar pick kari toh…

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‘Mere cell main balance aa gaya.’ Vo kafi khush thi ‘Ha, maine keh diya tha apne friend se.’ ‘Thanks Raj’ ‘Koi nahi chota mota kaam tha ho gaya.’ Hero toh ban hi Gaye kuch-kuch. ‘Aur bhai baat ban gayi aapki.’ Main ajay se milne usske office main aa gaya tha ussko thanks bolene aur paise dene. ‘Ha sir, buss apki kripa se ho gaya.’ Maine paise dete hue kaha

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‘Areee nahi bhai!! Ye rakho aap. Buss jab apki shaadi ho toh humke bhi jaroor yaad kar lena.’ ‘Bilkul sir’ Ye kahaani toh jaise taise khatam hui par ek aur kahaani fir se start ho gyi thi uski aur meri pyar ki kahani. Vaise toh hum ek hi college main thee par ussne B.com le li thi aur main Bsc main thaa toh humari mulaqaat buss main hi ho paati thi. Ab mamla aage peeche baithne se aage badh kar saath baithne tak aa gaya tha.Sab kuch aacha chal rha tha buss main usse ‘Bhabhi’ bhi ghoshit kar diya gaya tha. Ek din aise hi dono saath baithe thee toh ussne kaha... 61

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‘Ek baat batau tumhe...’ Main durr gaya tha ye ek baat batau vaali line bahut hi khatarnak hoti hai aksar. ‘Ha kaho’ ‘Maine ye baat abhi tak Kisi ko batae toh nahi par meri life main koi hai.’ Kisi kabristaan main khadi hui purani soonsaan haweli ki tarah mere andar bhi ye baat sunkar ek sannaata sa ho gaya tha. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha main kya react karu, kaise expressions du? Aisa lag rha tha jaise neend main se kisi ne laat maar ke jaga diya ho. ‘Kaun…kaun hai vo?’ 62

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‘Hai koi…baad main bataungi’ Vo pura din kaharab gaya. Teacher se daat bhi padi kyoki dimag kahi aur tha aur dil kahi aur. Aksar main last ka lecture chode diya karta tha jisse buss main pehle pahuch kar uske aur apne liye seat reserve kar saku, par uss din nahi gaya munn hi nahi hua aur mujhe peeche aalag baithna pada. Mujhse jyada buss ke aur students pareshaan thee ke aaj ‘Tota-Maina’ alag kaise jaa rahe hai? Piya bhi tabhi buss main aayi ussne mujhe dekha aur aankho main hi sawaal poocha ‘ye kya?’ Par mere pass usska koi jawab nahi tha. Vo chup chap aage baith gayi. Hurr koi mujhe dekh 63

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kar aise muskura raha tha jaise mere maathe par koi joke likha ho. Ghar pahuch kar main gehri soch main duba hua tha ke tabi ghar ki doorbell baji . ‘Aur mere Devdas bhabhi kaisi hai?’ ye karan tha ‘Yar BC toh pelo mut… sala bhabhi bhabhi laga rakha hai yaha bhabhi ne hume hi bold kar diya.’ ‘Abeeee….hua kya? Aise kyo keh raha hai?’ ‘Aur kya kahu yar? Uski life main pehle se koi hai.’ ‘M*** ch*** denge yaar kya bat kar di.…Tera bhai jinda hai abhi…Bata kya kare utha laye kya usse?’ 64

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‘Areee yar pyar kya koi jabardasti hai.’ ‘Tu yaar tension na le dekh lenge jo bhi hoga.’ Next day main buss ka wait kar raha tha. Main buss main chadha toh Piya vahi saamne vali seat par baithi thi. Mere ko dekh kar vo side main khisak gayi issliye mujhe ab vahi baithna pada kyoki uss cheej ka matlab tha ‘Baitho’. ‘Kya hua’ she said ‘Kuch nahi, hoga kya?’ ‘Tum aise kyo bole rahe ho?’ ‘Kaise?’ ‘Kuch nahi’ 65

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Means argument khatam. Dono main usske baad college tak koi baat nahi hui. College aate hi hum apni apni class ki taraf chal diye. Kafi dino tak yahi chalta raha na vo boli na maine kuch bola. Ek din achanak… ‘Hello’ ‘Hello, kon?’ unknown number se call tha toh maine poocha. ‘Main arun bole raha hu’ ‘Kon Arun?’ ‘Arun, Piya ne bataya hoga na tumhe mere baare main, ussne hi mujhe 66

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tumhara number diya tha baat karne ko.’ Main thoda shock hua par… ‘Ha batao’ Mujhe thoda toh clue mil gaya tha ye kon hai par tab bhi. ‘Kaise ho aap? Aur kya chal raha hai?’ ‘Kuch nhi theek hai aap sunae’ ‘Piya kafi kuch batati hai aapke baare main, kafi tareef bhi karti hai aapki.’ ‘Ok’ ‘Kafi aache dost hai aap.’ ‘Ha ji vo toh hai.’ ‘Par aap aj kul naaraj hai usse kuch.’ 67

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‘Ye kisne kaha apse?’ ‘Piya keh rahi rhi.’ ‘Ji nahi aisa kuch nahi hai.’ ‘Yaar please take care of her.’ ‘Ha bilkul.’ Uss waqt main naa jaane munn main kitni hi new gaaliyo ka invention kar chuka tha. Jisse tum pyar karte ho usska bf tumse keh raha hai ke usska khayal rakhna. Uss waqt ye line yaad aa rahi thi jo maine hi likhi thi…

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‘Himakat unse ishq karne ki kar baithe, Unse ishq karne ki saja paa rahe hai, Ab toh lagta hai mujhe aisa jaise, Unki shaadi main kursiya saja rahe hai’ ‘Arun ka call aaya tha, usse tumne mere number diya hi kyo? Aur usse ye sab batane ki kya jaroorat thi ke main naaraj hu and all that.’ Main buss main uss par gussa nikal raha tha ‘Kyo? Kya hua?’ ‘Usska call aaya tha aur kya.’ Usski aankho ko aur excitement ko dekh kar aisa lag raha tha ke usse iss 69

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baat ki koi tension nahi thi ke main kis tone main ye keh raha hu, balki usse ye jaana tha ke kya baat hui thi usske aur mere beech main.’ Maine bhi ‘kuch nahi’ keh kar Taal diya aur vo muh bana ke baith gyi. Fir vahi silent jouney chalti rahi kafi time tak...par fir end main manana toh ladke ko hi padta hai toh mana liya. Ussne apne baare main mujhe ek baat aur batae jisse sun kar main hairaan hi nahi shock bhi ho gaya. Main toh kya shayad koi bhi iss tarah ki baat sun kar shoch hi ho jaega. Vo ek organization ke saath kaam karti thi jo anaath baccho ko sahara deti thi. Garmi ki 2 month ki vactions main vo vaha jaati 70

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thi aur unn baccho ko padhati aur sikhati thi. Main ye soch kar hairaan tha, ek taraf hum hai jinse apni bhi study sahi se nahi hoti, vahi ek vo hai jo abhi se itna bada kaam kar rahi hai. Uss organization ki kyoki bahut saari branches thi different states main, toh jo branch allocate hoti thi usse vahi jaana hota tha. Iss baar usse kashmeer ki branch allocate hui thi. ‘Main bhi chalunga.’ I said to her ‘Par tum vaha jaa kar karoge kya?’ ‘Karna kya hai….dono time spend karenge.’ ‘Par main vaha kaam karne jaa rahi hu.’

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‘Ha toh sahi hai na….kaam kya 24 hrs karogi, jab free ho jaya karogi toh ghoomne chala karenge.’ ‘Par tum rahoge kaha aur ghar par kya kahoge?’ ‘Tumhare paas. Ghar par keh denge ke study toor hai’ ‘Aacha ji…nahi.’ ‘Ok….chalo main hotel main reh lunga, ab toh sahi hai?’ ‘Tum nahi manoge…ok chalo.’

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Hum loge saath main kashmeer ke liye nikal liye. Kashmeer dharti ka swarg. Kisi ne sahi hi kaha hai ki kashmeer gulab k phool ki tarah khila hua ek bemisaal nazrana hai. Hum dono vaha pahuche aur vaade ke tehat vo orphan age ke hostel main chali gayi aur main pass ke hi ek hotel main shift ho gaya. Kuch din tak sab sahi chalta raha. Piya kaam karti thi aur sham ko aati thi fir hum loge ek long walk ke liye jaaya karte thee. Kashmeer ki vaadiyo main apne pyar ke saath ghoomne ka bhi ek alag hi maja hai. Mujhe nahi pata tha ki jaldi hi ye maja, saja main badalne jaa raha hai.

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Ek din raat ko 8 baje ke kareeb usski call ayi. Vo kaafi durri hui thi… ‘Raj…tum please abhi aa jao.’ ‘Piya….what happen?’ ‘Please abhi kuch mut poocho buss aa jao.’ ‘Ok...Ok... I am coming wait for me.’ Main jaldi se hotel se nikla taxi li aur seedha usske office par pahucha. Vo mujhe bahar hi mil gayi aur mujhe dekhte hi ekdum se rone lagi... ‘Kya hua? bolo kya hua…’ ‘Please…I want to go somewhere else.’ ‘Ok come’ 74

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Hum taxi main baithe aur vaha se ek coffee shop par ruke. ‘Tell me now…hua kya hai?’ Then whatever she told me it was really scary and dangerous. Vo raat ko apne office ke peeche khana khaane ke baad ghoom rahi thi. Usske office ke peeche ek aur room tha jo ki store room ki tarah use kiya jaata tha. Usse uss room ke andar se kuch aawaj sunae di. Ussne uss room ki window se dekha there was some movement inside as the ouside was comparatively darker andar ka sab dikh raha tha, without anyone from inside being able to easily notice her. The narrow gap between the 75

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panes of the windows she saw something that shook her. She saw the lady incharge of that orphan house. She was standing infront of a man who sat on the table with Ak 47 in his hand. That man pushing himself over her against her will. For the moment, when lady managed to step away piya was able to see the face of that man. It was as if her fear had come out. Mustafa (terrorist) streached his hand to grab the lady arm. Piya was scared. Usse pata tha ke usse iss sab se koi matlab nahi hai aur ye sab uske liye bahut dangerous bhi ho sakta 76

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hai. She pulled herself back and tried to breathe. Usse bilkul samajh nahi aa raha tha ke aakhir ye sab ho kya raha hai. A part of her mind told her to run away and forget what she had seen, but the thought of the lady began to bother her and she stopped. Ussne kuch socha kya kiya Jae fir vaha chupke se apne cell phone rakh diya video mode main laga ke. For the next couple of minute she filmed everything that happened inside the room. On the very next day she catched her ‘Don’t be scared didi.you can speak freely with me.’ Piya said 77

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Her name was shalini. Vo pehle toh kuch bhi batane ke liye ready nahi hui, par jab piya ne higher authorities ke paas jaane ki dhamki di aur baad main usse kuss ke hug kiya tab ussne jo bataya vo dil dehla dene vaala tha. I think it was the soothing sound of her voice and the warmth of her body that comforts shalini….shalini could not hold back her emotions any longer. She cried her heart out. ‘Aapne Jo bhi dekha vo sahi tha. Vo Mustafa hi tha. Vo hurr 6 month main yaha aata hai.’ Shalini said ‘Yaha aata hai…par kyo?’ ‘Baccho ko lene ke liye’ 78

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‘Matlab’ ‘Vo yaha se baccho ko le jaate hai aur usske badle main ek moti rakam hume dete hai.’ ‘Par kyo?’ ‘Vo inn baccho ka use karte hai unhe training de kar apne jaisa banate hai.’ Piya was shocked. ‘Aapko pata hai aap kya keh rahi hai...aur ye sab kya hai?’ piya said ‘Ha par jindagi sabko pyari hai…hum nahi karenge toh ye sabko maar denge.’ ‘Ye sab yaha kab se chal raha hai?’ ‘Starting se.’ 79

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‘Higher authorities ko pata hai sab?’ ‘Ha.’ Another shock for Piya. Shalini then immediately got up from her chair quickly. She wiped her eyes and adjusts her sari and left.

‘May I come in?’ Piya asked from the entrance of Rakesh the managr of that orphan house. Mr. Rakesh moved his eyes from his laptop to the door and replied,’I am busy now. Come in an hour or so.’ ‘Sorry sir, but this cant wait,’ Piya responded. 80

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‘Apka name kya hai’ he asked her. Usse shayad aacha nahi laga tha piya ka reply. ‘Piya singh, sir.’ ‘I know you want to discuss about the education of students here. We can discuss that in an hour. Come back later.’ His hand signaling her to leave. When Mr. Rakesh resumed looking at his laptop, Piya spoke, ‘This is not about my project.’ ‘Then?’ Rakesh asked in irritation ‘Sir we need to talk,’ Piya said and stepped inside.

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‘Her behaviour annoyed Rakesh. No one had even dared to speak to him like that. He shouted, ‘How dare you walk into my room without my permission?’ Piya inner strenghth told her to move on. She had already prepared herself. She walked towards the manager’s desk. ‘This is about the work which you gave to shalini. I know whats going on here, sir.’ she said in a calm and confident voice. Mr. Rakesh mouth fell open and in that moment he seemed to be at a loss of words. Rakesh felt that he had lost the ground beneath his feet. 82

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‘What the hell are you talking about? Listen, I am busy. Please come later. Okay?’ Piya smiled and said ‘Sir, kuch der pehle aap mujh par cheekh rahe thee. Ab kis cheej ne apko itna soft bana diya? Uss baat ne jiske bare main mujhe pata hai.’ Rakesh apni chair se uth Gaya, ‘Aee ladki!! Tujhe pata nahi hai abhi main kon hu? Mere pass kitni power hai. Tumhe pata nahi tumhare saath kya ho sakta hai? Ye sab bakwass band karo.’ Piya called, ‘Didi!’ Shalini appeared at Rakesh’s doorstep. Ye Rakesh ke liye ek aur jhatka tha. 83

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‘None of my allegation is false. She will verify that.’ ‘Ohh... Toh ye tum dono ka plan hai iss organization ka nam kharab karne ka.’ ‘Apko bhi pata hai kon sahi hai kon galat? Main chati hue ke aap apni galti maane aur shalini ko iss sab main involve karne ke liye isse bhi maafi maange varna….’ ‘Varna… varna kya?’ ‘Varna mujhe higher authority’s ke paas jaana padega.’ The next moment he flung his hand in the air. In a split second his palm landed on piya’s cheek. 84

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The impact was so strong that piya fell down. Shalini screamed and rushed to help piya. Shalini Rakesh ke pairo me gir kar piya ke liye maafi maangne lagi. When piya got back on her feet, she stops shalini from pleading in front of him. She looked back at the Rakesh. ‘Go to the hell Mr. Manager! Rakesh picked up his belonging and left. There was an odd silence between us. ‘What you think...now what I have to do?’ she asked me ‘Go for it!’ I finally spoke. 85

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‘Thank you Raj….mujhe tumse aise hi jawab ki ummed thi.’ ‘Piya I am always with you.’ ‘Raj, ye loge bahut powerfull loge hai. Hume bahut soch samjh ke karna padega job hi karna hai.’ ‘I think abhi hume chalna chahiye. Kul dekhte hai kya karna ha?’ I said Maine raat ko hi Nikhil aur Akshay ko call kar diya tha. Ye baat bahut hi serious thi aur main nahi chahta tha ki kuch bhi galat ho toh maine unn dono ko vaha bula liya. Next day vo seedhe mere room par aa gaye aue saari situation ko bata kar hum seedhe restaurant pahuche Piya 86

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vaha pehle se thi. Ussne Nikhil aur akshay ko dekh kar meri taraf dekha, par maine use ishare se chup rehne ko kaha. Humare pass evidence ke taur par vo video thi. Mere liye ab 2 sabse badi baate saamne thi. Pehli ye, ke main nahi chahta tha ke Piya ka name issme kahi bhi aaye. Ye usske liye bahut khatarnak ho sakta tyha. Doosra ye ke hum chup bhi nahi baith sakte thee ye masoom baccho ke aur humare desk ka savaal tha. But then someone would have to bell the cat. who should this person be? I was thinking.

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The option we have…to lodege an FIR and the give this proof when needed. Second, tell all to our parents. Pehle option se Nikhil aur Akshay sehmat nahi thee. Unhe laga kahi police Piya ko hi na fasa de kyoki vo bhi vahi kaam kar rahi thi. Doosre se piya sehmat nahi thi kyoki agar usske parents ko pata chal jaega toh vo usse kuch nahi karne denge. ‘Main iska ek solution bata sakta hu.’ Nikhil said ‘Mere father ke friend hai Lt. Singh agar hum unse baat kare toh kuch ho sakta hai.’

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‘Ha…military help kar sakti hai humari issme.’ Aksahy said. Maine Piya ki taraf dekha ussne bhi haa main sar hilaya. ‘Ok…toh hum kul Milne challenge singh sahib se.’ I said Hum aapas main baat kar hi rahe thee ke tabhi piya ka mobile ring hua… ‘Hello.’ ‘Piya, this is Rakesh.’ ‘Yes Sir.’ ‘Kya aap kul mujhse Milne aa sakti ho?’ ‘Ok.’ 89

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‘Nahi tum usse Milne aakele nahi jaogi.’ Maine naaraj ho kar kaha. ‘Please Raj, mujhe kuch nahi hoga.’ ‘Par Piya…’ ‘Par var kuch nahi… I will handle this.’ Usski aankho main dikh rahi himmat ko dekh kar main chup ho gaya tha. ‘Welcome Piya ji, aaiye baithiye.’ Rakesh said to Piya ‘Ji sir..Aapne mujhe kyo bulaya?’ ‘Dekho Piya, theek hai tum bahut hi bahadur ladki ho aur samjhdaar bhi ho. Tum ye toh jaanti hogi ki jindagi sabko pyari hai. Jab jaan gavane aur paisa 90

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kamaane jaise 2 options ho toh ek samjahdaar aadmi kya chunega?’ ‘Par ye desh se gaddari hai. Gaddari se aacha toh murr jaana behtar hai.’ Piya said ‘Dekho ye sab baate kitabo aur filmo main bahut aachi lagti hai par be practical humare saath aa jao aur aaram se aachi jindagi jiyo.’ ‘Nahi main deshdrohi nahi hu sir. Main murr jaungi par ye kabhi nahi karungi.’ Rakesh ko gussa aa gaya aur chair par se uth kar vo bola, ‘Toh tu maregi. Maine socha tum apne dharam ki ho toh tumhe kuch samjhau par tum jaise loge murrne ke layak hi hai.’ 91

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‘Aapke jaise loge hi iss desh ko khokla kar rahe hai sir. Ye terrorism aur terrorist na toh kisi desh ke hai na kisi dharam ke hai. Ye sirf insaaniyat ke dushman hai jo masoom logo ka khoon bahate hai.’ ‘Ha aur ab ek aur masoom ka khoon bahega….Get out.’ Piya ne Hume aakar sab kuch bataya. Aj mujhe pyar ke saath saath Piya par garv bhi ho raha tha. ‘Bastard! Inn jaise logo ki vajah se hi humare desk ka ye haal hai. Inn sab cheejo main bhi jaati, dharam aur majhab ko jode dete hai.’ I said in anger. 92

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‘Chalo ab chalte hai singh sir ke pass.’ Nikil said. Hum singh sahib se Milne Military Area main pahuche. Hume jaane main jayada takleef nahi hui kyoki Nikhil humare saath tha. Kuch der main hum singh sahib ke office main thee. Singh sahib lambe, tagde, lambi lambhi mostaque. Unke kandhe par lage star unki bahaduri ki gaatha apne aap baya kar rahe thee. Nikhil unhe saari baate batata chala Gaya. ‘Hume naaz hai aap par baccho! Aapne aaj humara sir fakar se uccha kar diya. Aap jaise Naujawaan hi iss desh ka 93

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bhavishya hai. Hume sukoon hai ki humara desh surakshit haatho main hai.’ ‘Thank you uncle.’ I said ‘Aap sab chinta na karo bilkul, aap vo video mujhe de do hum sab dekh lenge aapka name kahi bhi nahi aaega. Aap kul hi apne ghar ko nikal lijiye.’ He said. ‘Ok uncle.’ Nikhil said Unki desk par ek diary padi thi, vo diary unhone Piya ki taraf aage badahi, ‘Baachi ye le! Aaj ek fauji teri himmat aur hausle ko salam karta hai.’ ‘Thank you uncle.’ Piya ne vo diary uncle se le li. 94

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Hum vo video aur saari details singh sahib ko bata kar agle din buss pakad kar apne ghar ki taraf chal diye. Kuch dino baad news main hume kuch aatankvaadiyo ke murrne ki aur ek orpahand house band hone ki news mili ye vahi loge thee. Dheere dheere hum sab iss sab ko bhool kar normal life ki taraf badhne lage. Hume vishvaas tha ke ab ye case band ho chuka hai. Ab main apne pyar ke bare main fir se soch sakta hu. Kuch waqt baad hamari diwali ki chutti pad gayi.

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‘Hello’ I called her ‘Yes…raj’ ‘Tum kahi gayi nahi? Maine aise poocha jaise mujhe kuch pata hi na ho.’ ‘Nahi vo…for ussne mujhe vo poori baat bate jo mujhe pehle se hi pata thi.’ 96

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‘Tum bhi yahi ho…kyo?’ ‘Nahi vo my health is not good.’ ‘Kya hua tumhe?’ Ussne aise poocha ke mujhe aacha laga ke usse meri care hai. ‘Kuch nahi buss aise hi thoda fever and all.’ ‘Ok.’ ‘Piya…’ ‘Ha...’ ‘Kul mile….canaught palace par restraunt main’ ‘Ammm…ok.’

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Ab main kul ke besabri se wait kar raha tha. Time se pehle hi main vaha pahuch gaya tha. Saamne se kuch der baad vo aati hui dikhae di white suit main vo ek dum pari jaisi lag rahi thi. Traditional look ki kuch aalag hi baat hoti hai. Abhi main usse dekh kar khoya hi hua tha ke usske ‘hi’ se meri need tooti. ‘Hi’ I said. ‘Coffee order karne ke baad hum chup chap hi baithe thee tab maine baat start kari... ‘You believe in love?’ Mere aise aachanak se sawaaal se vo thoda shock hui par fir jawaab aaya, vo bhi kaafi confusing…’kuch-kuch’ 98

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‘Whats that kuch-kuch?’ ‘Pyar aj kul hai kaha?’ ‘Can you elaborate?’ I said. ‘I don’t believe in BoyfriendGirlfriend culture.’ ‘Bf-Gf culture.’ ‘Ya, aj kul Kisi ladke se milo toh vo kahega ye meri gf hai. Ye nahi kehta ke ye mera pyar hai same in the case of girls.’ ‘Par baat toh ek hi hai na.’ ‘Nahi baat ek nahi hai. Aj aap kisi ko apni gf-bf keh ke intro karva rahe ho aur kuch dino baad unhi ke saath koi new gf-bf dekhoge.’ 99

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‘Break ups hote hai.’ ‘Ya, love is like a game now. Engage, Single, Complicated, Brk up etc etc yahi sab reh gaya hai pyar ke nam par.’ Uski baate sun kar ek taraf toh mujhe aacha lag raha tha par ek taraf durr bhi lag raha tha. Kahi mujhe aisi koi bhool na ho jae jo main bhi usssi culture ka sabit ho jau iske saamne. Par atleast coffee khatam hui… ‘Kul mile?’ I said ‘Ok. Call me tomorrow will see.’ Mujhe nahi pata tha ke ye jaante hue bhi ki piya engage hai main kyo usse baate kar raha hu, kyo usse mil raha hu, 100

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kya kar raha hu. Maine at the end yahi decide kiya ki Jo jaisa chal raha hai chalne do jo hoga dekha jaega. Next day— Purana kila, Delhi. ‘You believe in love?’ she asked me ‘Ammm…socha nahi kabi, kyoki hua hi nahi.’ ‘Is it all about sex?’ Main thoda jhatka khaya ek dum se iss tarah ka sawaal sun kar. Mujhe usse iss tarah ke reaction ki umeed nahi thi par ab sawaal aaya hai toh jawab bhi Dena hi padega.’ ‘No, love is not all about sex, but sex is a part of love.’ 101

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‘Par ladko ko toh yahi chahiye hota hai sex and then next Gf.’ ‘Do you think all boys are like that?’ ‘No, but most of them are like that.’ Humare desh ka ye bahut bada problem hai. Koi harami Kisi ladki ko pyar main dhoka de deta hai toh ladki hurr ladke ko issi najar se dekhti hai jiska khamiyaja hum jaise saache love karne valo ko bhugatna padta hai. ‘Mujhe auro ka nahi pata par main aisa nahi hu.’ ‘Wowww… great…aacha laga ye sun kar.’ She said.

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‘Fir tumhare liye love ka meaning kya hai?’ ‘Love, love ka matlab hai ek pyara sa ehsaas, vo ehsaas uss ek ke liye jiske saamne aate hi apka dil apse kahe yahi hai vo jiska saath hume chahiye. Pyar humesha dene ka nam hai kuch Lene ka nahi buss yahi hai mere liye toh.’ Uss waqt ussne mujhese kuch kaha toh nahi par she is looking at me like a small kid. I just hold her hand and said ‘Sab theek hai na.’ Physical touch has made her shiver but she doesn’t leave her hand. we all now

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facing each other but she is so shy to look up at me. She closes her eyes. I tuck a few strands of her hairs behind her right ears and prepair to say something. ‘Piya….my voice is husky.’ ‘She didn’t respond.’ ‘I am still staring at her face... ‘Piya’ ‘Hmm.’ ‘I love you I so do.’ I bend down to kiss her and lips meet. It’s going deeper sucking her lower lips to extract all her love for me.

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She tightened her arms around me, the only thing we are feeling at that time between us is the wetness between our lips. We don’t know how much time has passed. Noice of stones broken that magical moment. Uss mulaqaat ke baad hum fir nahi mile aur vacations khatam hui. Ab fir vahi college and all par pata nahi mere dimag main kyo ek baat ghar kar gayi thi ke agar Piya arun se pyar karti hai toh vo sab hamare beech main kyo hua? Kyuki uski soch toh usko ye sab karne ki permission nahi deti. Main chahta toh tha ke isko lekar usse poochu par meri himmat nahi ho rahi 105

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thi. Issko lekar humare beech main koi baat nahi hui. ‘Ho sakta hai ab vo tujhe pyar karti ho.’ Karan said. ‘Pyar ka koi biscuit hai….!!! Aj koi aur kha liya kul koi aur..!!! aisa hota hai kya?’ ‘Sab hota hai. Usko laga hoga tu jyada eligible hai uska Bf banne ke liye.’ ‘Nahi yr vo aisisi nahi hai.’ ‘Come on yr, jab vo tere pass nahi thi tu jab bhi pareshaan tha, ab vo tere pass aa rahi hai tu tab bhi pareshaan hai. Tu chahta kya hai?’

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‘But, I don’t want to come between them.’ ‘Tu kaha aa raha hai vo aa rahi hai na tere pass that’s it.’ ‘Ok let’s see.’ Usske baad kafi dino tak vo college nahi aayi. Maine usse message bhi kiya par koi reply nahi. Mujhe durr tha ke kahi uss din jo kuch hua usse lekar koi baat na ho. I called her one night. ‘Helloo…Piya.’ ‘Yes raj….how are you?’ ‘I am fine. Where are you?’ 107

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‘I am sick.’ ‘Ohh…sorry I disturbed you…are you ok? I am putting down my phone take rest.’ ‘Raj… I want you.’ ‘Piya…I want to kiss on your lips.’ ‘Ok do.’ I kissed. ‘I want to smell your body.’ I said ‘Ahhh…. then.’ ‘There is a silence from her end. ‘Are you fine?’ ‘Then?’ she said 108

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‘Then….Going down kiss on your belly.’ ‘Ouch….haa….then?’ ‘I slip my hand under your top and hold your waist.’ ‘Ohh god!’ she whispered Afew seconds and no one speak. ‘Do you hate me now?’ ‘No.’ ‘Then why you stop me in middle?’ ‘Ok.’ She called me again at 11 in the night and this time, she doesn’t stop me in the middle. 109

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Ek taraf jaha humara pyar badhta jaa raha tha vahi meri tension bhi badhti jaa rahi thi. Mujhe ye samjh nahi aa raha tha ke bf hone ke bavjood bhi Piya mere pass kyo aa rahi hai? Issi beech college main picnic tour ka plan bana aur maine ye decide kar liya ke main iss picnic tour par saari baate clear kar ke hi rahunga. Usska picnic se theek ek din pehle call aaya… ‘Raj….Are you coming on picnic tour?’ ‘Ya.’ ‘Ok actually I want to tell you something, so I will tell you that on the picnic.’ 110

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‘Ok’ Ab ek aur tension. Kya batana chahti hai vo ye soch soch kar mujhe ab neeend nahi aa rahi thi. Next day hum sab ready thee picnic ke liye kashmeer jaane ke liye. Kashmeer jaane ko lekar main bahut excited tha kyoki usse aachi jagah ho hi nahi sakti thi ye sab clear karne ke liye. Raat ko hum kashmeer pahuch gaye thee. Next day jaha sab ghoomne gaye vahi main aur Piya sabse najar bachate hue kuch time spend karne ke liye mall pahuch gaye. ‘Raj…I want to eat ice cream.’ She said

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‘Ok… main usske liyen ice cream lene chala….Tumhe jab tak jo lena hai le lo.’ ‘Ok’ Main ice cream lene shop par pahucha hi tha ke achanak ek jore se aawaz hui jaise kisi ne gaadi ke break bahut jore se mare ho. Mall ke gate par ek gaadi ruki jisme 4 ya 5 bande thee unn sabke face covered thee. They all come out of the car sabke haath main Ak 47 gun thi. Vo mall main ghuse aur bina kuch kahe firing start kar di. Ye sab itni jaldi hua ke kisi ko kuch sochne samajhne ka time hi nahi mila. Isse pehle ke main Piya tak pahuch pata one bullet hits on her chest…. 112

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Main bhaaga usko thaamne ke liye, usko bachane ke liye. Maine jaise hi usse pakda one bullet hits on my shoulder. We both fell down. She was in in my arms.Those terrorists leave that mall after firing dozens of bullets on innocent peoples. Main utha piya ka sar apni gode main rakha usski saase abhi chal rahi thi. Usske saare clothes blood se laal ho chuke thee. Poora chehra laal pad gaya tha. Main chillaya…..Piyaaaaa. Ussne dheere se aankhe kholi….’haa..haahh…ra..jj.’ I cried. ‘raa..aa..jj ii…iiii…’

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Mere shoulders se khoon beh raha tha, uss khoon ki kuch boonde Piya ke sar par pad gayi. Ye Shayad vo rishta tha jo bhagvaan ne joda tha. Main help ke liye bahut chillaya par vaha aafra tafri ke mahaul main meri kisi ne nahi suni . Mujhe nahi pata uss waqt mujhe itni takat kaha se aa gayi maine Piya ko apni gode main uthaya aur bahar le kar bhaaga. Main sadak par bina ruke, bina thake bhaage jaa raha tha. Meri body se itna khoon nikal raha tha fir bhi, kumjori chaa rahi thi fir bhi . Aage jaa kar main seedha hospital main ghus gaya ..

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‘Doctor…doctor….save he …please save ….’ Main vahi par behosh ho gaya. Jab hosh main aaya toh doctor mere haath par dressing kar rahe thee. ‘Piya kaha hai?’ Maine aankhe khulte hi doctor se poocha. ‘She is in ICU, doctors are taking care of her.’ Main bed par se uth kar bhaaga, usse dekhne ke liye. Doctor’s ne roka par main ICU par pahuch kar usse bahar se dekha. I cried. Doctors se poocha toh same answer’ we are tring our best.’ Main bahar padi hui bench par baith gaya. Mere dimag main baar- baar vahi 115

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baat aa rahi thi. Piya kya kehna chahti thi uss waqt mujhse? Aakhir vo loge kon thee? Kyo itne innocent logo par unhone goli chalae? Saamne TV chal raha tha ye baat poore desh main spread ho gayi thi aur hurr chota bada aadmi uss par apna dukh jata raha tha. Political leader’s se le kar hurr aamo khaas. Unke dukh jatane se sab theek ho jaega? Meri Piya sahi ho jaegi? Jab apke apne upar gujarti hai tab shayad apko Kisi problem ka asli ehsaas hota hai. Aj mujhe pata chal raha tha ke ye terrorism kitna bhayanak hai. Jab desh ki samasya ek aadmi aadmi se jud jaati hai tab uska Dard 116

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samjh main aata hai. Aakhir unn nirdosh logo ka kya kasoor tha? Unhone kisi ka kya bigada tha? Meri Piya ne kisi ka kya bigada tha? Saath main mujhe apne desh ki politics se bhi nafrat hone lagi thi iss sade gale system ke prati mera khoon khole laga tha. Ye vahi desh hai jo bahut jore shore se duniya ke hurr platform par aatakvaad se ladne ka mudda uthata hai aur khud ko aatakvaad se sabse jyada peedit batata hai. Sabko mil kar isse ladne ki baat karta hai. Khud apne hi desh main democracy aur law ke nam par unhi aatakvaadiyo ko 10-10 saal baith kar khilata pilata hai aur usske baad aise chori chupe saja deta hai jaise vo aatankvaadi na ho kar kitna bada 117

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deshbhakt ho jo uske saja dene par iss desh main kuch ho na jae. Sharam ati hai mujhe aise logo par jo laasho par bhi gandi rajneeti karte hai. Sham tak piya hum sabko chode kar jaa chuki thi. A love story had been left incomplete. Sham ke 5 baje thee main apne ghar sone ki koshish kar rah tha. Pichle 7 dino se ek sec ke liye bhi neend nahi aayi thi meri aankho main. Kabhi apne mobile main usske bheje hue sms dekhta tha toh kabhi uske pics dekhta tha. Fir pata nahi kyo utha aur Piya ke ghar ki taraf chal diya.

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Usske ghar par usske mom dad ki ro-ro kar halat kharab thi. Abi loge unse mil kar jaa rahe thee. Unhone mujhe bhi baithaya vo aur logo se baat karne main busy thee. Main Piya ke room ki taraf chal diya. On his bed her clothes are their. Ye vahi dress thi jisse pehan kar vo pehli baar mujhse milne aayi thi. Maine uss dress ko uthaya and just grab that dress with my arms and cried...I saw a pink diary under a pillow. I take that out and turn the page. ‘Mera school main pehla din….I meet with someone special….Raj.’ I am shocked and jam in silence.

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Raj-piya#1: School main mera pehla din. Admission late hone ki vajah se mujhe late class joins karni padi. Pehle hi din kuch gadbad ho gyi. Vo mujhe goor ke toh aise dekh raha tha jaise mujhse pehle ladkiya dekhi hi na ho. Maine dhayaan nahi diya. Ab dekhte hai aage kya hota hai. Kisi ldki ko dekhne ke chakkar main apni attendance bool jaana is a bad manner.  Raj-piya#2: Aacha ab kuch jyada hi hero ban ke aane lage ho. Main aisi ladki nahi hu Jo inn sab se impress ho jae. Mujhe vo pasand nahi jo kisi aur ki tarah banne ki koshish kare, mujhe vo pasand hai jo jaise hai vaise hi rahe. Ye 120

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koi film ki story thodi hai real life hai na.  Raj-piya#3: Aj apne dost ko bhi convence kar hi liya mere kuch passs baithne ke liye….aacha hai you are working hard. Abi thoda aur dekhte hai itni jaldi thodi kuch bhi decision le sakte hai.  Raj-piya#4: Oohhhoo… mujhe kaam bhi karne diya karo! Kya hurr samay ghoorte rehte ho…thoda odd lagta hai par its ok.  Raj-piya#5: Ek baar pen kya utha diya aapka ab toph roze hi peh girate rehte ho. But sach kahu toh mujhe bhi ye pen vala game aacha lagta hai. I like it.  121

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Raj-piya#6: Aj maharaj mere tution par bhi pahuch gaye. Tum ladke ho ya CBI vale? Aj papa thee saath main. Sach main marvaoge Kisi din. School main dekh k bhi munn nahi bharta hudd hai. Raj-piya#7: Aj marks tumhare kum aaye par dukh mujhe jyada hua. Mujhe lag raha hai kahi na kahi meri vajah se tumhari study par se conc. hutt raha hai. I have to think over that.  Raj-piya#8: Main socha hai ke tumse ab baat karna means indirectly kum karna padega. Exams ke liye ye jaroori hai.  Raj-piya#9: Aj result ka din tha. Maine mummy ke saath aayi thi issliye kuch 122

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keh nahi sakti thi. Aj main tumhare liye bahut khush hu ke tumne aache marks ke saath exams clear kare. Congrats. Raj-piya#10: Award ceremony main aj main thoda dukhi hui tumhare attitude ko dekh kar. Tumne ek baar bhi mujhse kuch nahi kaha. Aj aakhri din toh kuch keh dete. Main bhi kehna chahti thi par koi mauka hi nahi diya tumne. I am sad.  Raj-piya#11: Mom- Dad mujhe Bsc main Kisi aur college main admission dilvana chahte hai par main tumhare vale college main hi aana chahti hu. Dekhte hai ab kya hota hai? Mujhe pata hai aaungi toh tumhare pass hi. 

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Raj-piya#12: Ohhh…. Aj buss main dekh kar fir kahi kho Gaye. Koi nahi beta admission ki vajah se late ho gayi par ab toh aa gayi na toh khush raho.  Raj-piya#13: Thanks, meri help karne ke liye aj. Aaj toh maun vrat toota tumhara kum se kum. Indirectly mera number bhi le liya, kya baat hai smart boy. Ab number ka use bhi kar Lena. I am waiting for your call.  Raj-piya#14: Mera cell sahi karvane ke liye aur call karne ke liye thanks. Mujhe aacha laga tumse baat karke.  Raj-piya#15: Mujhe lagta hai ab tumhara love test lena hi padega. Ek plan banaya hai tumhare liye dekhte hai kitna pass hote ho ussme bacchu?  124

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Raj-piya#16: Hehehehe….Aj tumhari shakal dekh kar aur baate sunkar yakeen ho gaya that you love me a lot. Main khush hu aj. Thank you my cousin brother Arun for calling him and helping me to find this great raaaaaz.:-) Raj-piya#17: Maine jaan kar mausi ke yaha jaane ka plan fail kiya tha sirf tumhare liye. I also want to spend some time with you. Mujhe pata hai main nahi jaungi toh tum bhi nahi jaoge.  Raj-piya#18: Aaj aacha laga apni pehli date par jaa kar tumhare saath. I really like your views. Second date ka invitation bhi de diya. So fast.  Raj-piya#19: ye din shayad meri jindagi ke sabse khoobsurat aur kabi na 125

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bhoolne vala din tha. Aj maine tumpar vishvaas karke poori tarah apne aap ko tumhe de diya hai. Iss janam main aur agle hurr janam main main bhagwaan se tumhara hi saath magungi. I love you.  Main vahi jameen par baitha hua neeche gir pada tha. Aansuao ka sailaab sa beh nikla tha, hichkiya aane se saanse atak si gayi thi. Piya kya tum mujhe yaad kar rahi ho…I cried. Raj-piya#20: Mujhe pata hai Raj tumhare munn main ye chal raha hai ke kya main tumse pyar karti hub hi k nahi? Agar main kisi aur ke saath pyar karti toh ye sab tumhare saath kabhi na

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karti. Time aane par tumhe sab pata chal jaega.  Raj-piya#21: Maine ye decide kar liya hai ke ab tumse sab kehne ka waqt aa gaya hai. Picnic par jo bhi mere dil main tumhare liye feeling hai main tumse keh dungi. Mai tumse pyar karti thi, karti hu, aur humesha karti rahungi. Kashmeer se aachi jagah ho hi nahi sakti humare pyar ko anjaam tak pahuchane ke liye. Piya kul se poori tarah Raj ki ho jaegi. I Love You Raj.  Raat ka Ghana aandhera charo taraf fail chuka tha. Main floor par pada hua, uss diary ko apne seene se lagaye hue

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aankhe band kar ke pada hua tha…………………!!!!! MY VIEWS Hur desh ke vikas main vaha ki Rajneeti aur Rajneetic ikchashakti ek important role play karti hai. Hume chahiye ke apne desh ke kuch mudde hum Rajneeti se door rakhe. Kuch mudde aise ho jiss par sirf desh hi nahi, desh ki saari political fertanity ek saath majbooti se khadi ho jisse ek sahi sandesh jaa sake. Dogli neetiyo ko lekar chalne se kisi ka bhala nahi hoga na desh ka na vaha ke logo ka. Aatankvaad jaise mudde par toh aisi baate bilkul nahi honi chahiye kyoki ye kisi ka bhala nahi kar sakta. Isko kabi 128

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bhi ek desh, ek jaati ya ek sampraday se jode kar nahi dekha jaana chahiye ye sampoorna maanav jaati ka dushman hai jiss par sabhi ka ekmut hona chahiye. Jaha tak apne desh main kanoon vyavastha ki baat rahi toh vo toh apne haath main hai na use toh hum khud hi sahi kar sakte hai par usske liye bhi political will ki jkarrorat hai. Kab tak hu ‘Kanoon ke dar pr der hai aandher nahi’ ya ‘Der se hi sahi insaaf jaroor hota hai’ jaisi baate karke apne desh ke kanoon main ho rakhe dhero surakho ko chupate rahenge. Jab hamare desh main ek terrorist ko fasi dene main 10-10 saal lag jaate hai ‘Kanoon Prakriya’ ke naam par toh sochiye ek aam aadmi ka kya haal hota 129

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hoga. Der se kiye gaye insaaf ka koi matlab nahi hota hai. Jiss tarah bhagwaan ne din aur raat ki time limit rakhi hai ussi tarah insaaf hone ke liye bhi time limit honi chahiye. Aakhir kab talak ek majboor aadmi apna hak pane ke liye court main apni chappale ghista rahega. Par ye sab Rajneetic ikchasakti ke bina sambhav nahi hai. Sirf bolne se kuch nahi hoga, likhne se kuch nahi hoga, kehne se kuch nahi hoga kyoki ye sab bahut baar ho chukka hai, par abhi bhi umeed par duniya kayam hai aur humara hindustaan bhi. Jai Hind.

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Maine khud ko ek kamre main band kar liya tha. Na kisise boleta tha, na kisi se kuch kehta tha. Mujhe apna koi hosh nahi tha. Jaise taise kar ke gharwalo ne meri graduation complete karvae. Sabne mil kar mujhe Chandigarh bhejne ka plan banaya. Mere Taya ji thee jinki company thi vahi meri job ki baat kar li gayi. Main Taya Ji ke ghar par nahi rukna chahta tha issliye unhi ke ghar ke paas mujhe ek room dilva diya gaya.

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Chandigarh

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Ek saal se jayda ho chuka tha uss haadse ko hue hue par usski yaade abhi bhi mere dimag se nahi miti thi. Mujhe yaha bhejne ka bhi yahi motive tha ki main unn sab yaado se bahar aa saku. Main apne room ki khidki par kahada apni purani yaado main khoya hua tha tab mere cell ki ring ne mujhe jagaya. It was Nihal, a colleague as well as friend, vo vaha mera ek akela friend tha jisse main apne munn ki hurr baat kar sakta tha. Ussne meri yaha settle hone main bahut help kari thi. ‘Okay, main half an hour main aata hu,’ Maine phone rakhte hue usse kaha.

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India main ye culture hai ke half an hour automatically 1 hour main apne aap convert ho jaata hai. Kuch time baad main nihal ke ghar par tha. Uska ghar chota tha par aacha tha. Vo married tha aur uski wife bahar gayi hui thi issliye ussne mujhe yaha bula liya tha. Vo clothes wash kar raha tha usske baad humne baith kar gappe maare aur khana banaya. Mil kar beer pee aur baate karte kartre so gaye. Next morning main apne office main client ke saath meeting kar raha tha. Company aur kaam main khud ko busy rakhna hi mera lakshay rehta tha. Nihal ka office bhi pass main hi tha issliye hum saath main lunch kara karte 135

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thee bahar. Uska whatsapp par message aaya ‘Let’s go for lunch.’ Vaha ka luch itna heavy hua karta tha because of butter and all ke ussko karne ke baad kuch ghato tak kaane khaane ka munn bhi nahi kiya karta tha. Mera daily routine yahi tha. I would wake up in the morning, get ready and prepare breakfast for myself. Then I would catch the 9 a.m bus to reach office. By 6 a.m in the evening I would leave office and go to the Play station shop jo mere room ke pass hi tha.

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Meri building main koi bhi delhi se nahi tha, sabhi punjabi thee. So I lived alone, I cooked alone, and I ate alone. There wasn’t anyone to talk to talk because of the language barrier. Tab bhi main khud ko sab sahi ho jaega ye soch kar munn ko tasalli deta tha. Mujhe Chandigarh main aaye hue 2week’s ho gaye thee. Ek shaam main roje ki tarah shop main play station par game khel raha tha. Ek yahi cheej thi jisse mujhe abhi bhi lagav tha. Tabi peeche se ek aawaz aayi ‘Excuse me!’ 137

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Maine peeche mud ke dekha toh ek ladki jo mere hi age ki hogi khadi thi. ‘How many minutes more.’ She asked Main abhi usse dekh hi raha tha vo jitni sweet dikhne main thi utni hi usski voice bhi cute thi. Pink color ke top aur black jeans main cute lag rahi thi. ‘Excuse me!’ I think usse ajeeb laga jiss tarah se main use dekh raha tha. Honestly, meri uss waqt koi bad intension nahi thi. Buss main thoda shock ho gaya tha ekdum se usske sawaal poochne se. 138

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‘Would you mind telling me for how long you will play this?’ ‘Ahhh….it takes 15 minutes more.’ ’Fifteen more minutes?!’ she looked shocked, aisa lag raha tha jaise maine usse uski saanse cheen li ho. ‘But that’s too long a wait for me.’ Main uss waqt soch raha tha…. ye hai kon? Miss India? Miss world? Jo chahti hai ke iske aate hi aadmi apna game chode kar isske liye uth jae. Vo jaa kar vahi baith gayi aur mere game finish hone ka wait karne lagi. Time pass karne ke liye kabhi vo apne 139

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hairs main laga band khole kar usse khelne lag jaati toh kabhi mujhe goor ke dekhne lagti. Mujhe bhi maja aa raha tha ussko ye karte hue dekh kar, par fir bhi maine apna game jaldi khatam kiya. Mera last player chal raha tha vo vahi mere pass aa kar khadi ho gayi. ‘Excuse me! Your ten minutes are over.’ She said ‘Yes, but I am thinking to play one more.’ ‘This is cheating, yaar!’ Ussne baccho ki tarah kaha. 140

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Mujhe uska ye expression bahut hi cute laga. Its treat to watch such innocence. Main usse jayada pareshaan nahi karna chahta thaa, main vaha se utha aur usko game hand over kar diya. She ran it with great enthusiasm. Next day main bahar ki mess main line main lag kar khaane ke liye wait kar raha tha. Waha ek janab jo mere aage khade thee mujhse jabardasti baat karne main lage pade thee. Hurr baar ki tarah topic bhi vahi tha ke Delhi aacha laga ke Chandigarh. Sahi main vo mujhe poochne ki jagah delhi ke bare main 141

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ulta bata rahe thee jo unhe delhi ke bare main pata hai. Kya baat hai, vo aadmi ye jaanta tha ke Qutub Minar kitni lambi hai, Gb road par kya hota hai, India gate dekhne main kaisa lagta hai. Vo shayad jitna delhi ke bare main mujhe batana chata tha usske baad main bhi shayad delhi ke bare main bhool jaata. Main usski baate jabardasti sun hi raha tha tabhi mujhe koi dikhae diya aur main usse dekhne main busy ho gaya. Ye vahi ladki thi jo uss din mujhe shop par mili thi haatho main chocolate thi 142

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usse khaate hue hi vo chalti jaa rahi thi. Ussne bhi mujhe queue main laga dekh liya tha. Mujhe laga vo ignore kar degi par vo meri taraf hi chali aa rahi thi. Mujhe delhi ke conversation main ab koi interest nahi raha tha. Uss aadmi ko bhi ye samjh main aa gaya tha, par tab bhi vo bole hi chala jaa raha tha. Mere munn kar raha tha usse kehne ka ‘Bhai, tu delhi jaa kar vahi settle kyo nahi ho jaata?’ Main use hi dekh raha tha. At last uss aadmi ki commentary bhi ruk gayi thi. 143

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‘Hi!’ She greeted very nicely. Aj vo uss din se bhi jayada cute lag rahi thi. ‘Hello!’ I replied with a smile. ‘I am sorry for yesterday.’ She said ‘It’s ok.’ I said ‘Actually uss din main thoda jaldi main thi mujhe kuch kaam tha issliye.’ ‘No problem. But why are you in a hurry?’ I asked ‘Vo mere exams hai issliye.’ She replied ‘oh! So you are studying?’ ‘Yes, I am doing my MBA.’ ‘By the way my name is Raj and I am 144

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from Delhi.’ ‘You are from Delhi…wow I am too. My name is Payal’ Lunch karne ke baad hum dono buss se saath main hi nikal liye. Baato baato main pata chala ke uska hostel mere room ke pass hi tha. Maine socha chalo koi toh mil gaya apne city ka. Next stop par usko utarna tha. Something stuck me that time, when we shook hands first time and to say goodbye and see you soon. Vo toh mud ke chali gayi par main ab bhi ussko dekhte hue kuch soch raha tha. 145

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Ussne raaste main jaate hue apna phone nikala earphone lagaye, apne baalo main laga hua band khola and loosened her hair. Mera dimag kahi na kahi mujhe ye keh raha tha ke maine ye sab pehle bhi kahi dekha hai.

Mera Birth day tha. Mera bilkul bhi mood nahi tha B day celebrate karne ka par kyoki nihal ko pata tha toh ussne pehle hi office ke friends ke saath mil kar planning kar li thi. Sab mere ghar par aa rahe thee aj raat ko.

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As usual party began. Music, beer, dance and loud cheer of Happy B day. Maine kyoki pehle se hi preparations kar li thi thodi bahut par sabko khaane ki kum aur peene ki jayada padi thi. Unhone coke chode di aur jaa ke refrigerator khole diya. Fir kya tha kuch der baad aisa lag raha tha jaise beer ki loot mach rahi hai. Vo pee rahe thee fir naach rahe thee, aadhe room main pade thee aadhe bathroom main pade thee. Mujhe aisa lag raha tha mera room sharabiyo ka adda ban chuka tha. There was absolute craziness 147

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Kisi ne yaad dilaya ke cake bhi katna hai toh main knife lene kitchen main chala gaya. Mere peeche peeche Nihal bhi aa gaya and whispered, ‘Usse nahi bulaya?’ Maine Nihal ko Payal ke bare main bata diya tha. Bata kya diya tha ussne hume dekh bhi liya tha. Mujhe pata tha vo ussi ke bare main pooch raha hai. ‘Ha, bulaya tha par ho saqkta hai vo busy ho iski vajah se nahi aa paye.’ ‘Main kuch poochu tujhse?’ He said Mujhe kuch- kuch pata chal gaya tha ke ye kya kehna chahta hai. 148

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I said, ‘Dude, enjoy the party.’ Main fir se knife search karne main lag gaya. ‘Do you like her? He asked ‘Yaar, Tu pagal hai? Aisa kuch nahi hai.’ Mujhe knife mil gaya tha, ‘Chal bahar jaa kar cake khaate hai.’ ‘Tu mere ko taal kyo raha hai?’ ‘Come on yaar, hum sirf friend hai.’ ‘Tu usko pasand karta hai ke nahi?’ ‘Nihal, tuhe toh sab pata hai na, fir inn sab baato ka kya matlab hai?’ ‘Ha mujhe sab pata hai. Tu yaha aaya 149

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bhi to issliye hai na ke uss sab se bahar aa sake. Maine uss waqt chup rehna hi behtar samjha. ‘Dekh yaar, uss baat ko bahut waqt ho chuka hai. Kab tak iss tarah jeeta rahega. Apne future ke bare main soch, apni family ke bare main soch. Aage badh bhai. Nihal bilkul mere bhai ke tarah tha. Usko mere bare main sab kuch pata tha. Ussne hurr cheej main meri help kari thi. Main jaanta tha ke vo sahi keh raha hai aur mere bhale ke liye hi keh raha 150

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hai. Yahi baat jo bhi mujhse milta tha vahi kehta tha. Mere liye ye sab itna aasaan nahi tha. Payal ek aachi ladki thi par maine abhi tak iss tarah se usske bare main nahi socha tha. Mere liye pyar ka matlab tha jo sirf ek baar hota hai aur vo ho chuka tha. ‘Main tujhse ye nahi keh raha ke khushiyo ki talaash main bhatak, par agar khusiya tere paas aa rahi hai toh unse door bhi mut bhaag.’ He said ‘Ok, I will think on that.’ I said ‘Ye hui naa baat’ kehte hue ussne beer ki bottle mere muh main ghusa di. 151

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Usske baad sabne mil kar cake kaata fir sab ne mil kar cook kiya aur mere kitchen ki band baja di. At 8.30 p.m vo sab chale gaye kyoki sabke ghar vaha se door thee toh jaldi hi party over ho gayi. Maine jab apne room ko dekha toh aisa lag raha tha jaise yaha koi cricket ka match hua ho. Ye soch kar ki subah sab kuch saaf karunga maine change kiya aur sone hi jaa rah tha ke fir se room ki bell ring hui. I looked at the peephole of my door. ‘Shit!’ 152

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It was payal, with some girl. Maine door open ki… ‘Hello, ‘I said ‘Happy Birthday!’ Payal sang. I smiled. ‘Happy Birthday!’ wished the other girl and then shook my hand. ‘She is Richa, my batchmate, and Richa, he is Raj,’ said Payal, beginning the introduction. Maine unn dono ko andar bulaya. Mere room ki uss waqt jo halat thi usse dekh kar maine kaha, ‘Vo friends aaye thee toh ye sab...’ 153

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‘It’s ok chill.’ Payal said ‘Abhi kitchen ki halat bhi aisi hi hai varna main kud kuch bana ke khilata apko.’ I said ‘Aap kaana bhi bana lete ho?’ Payal ask , putting her hands on her hips and give me a surprised look. ‘Yes.’ ‘You know how to cook?’ Richa asked the same question again ‘Ha, but issme itna surprise hone ki kya baat hai?’ ‘Hai na, kyoki humme ladki hone par bhi nahi aata aur aapko ladke hone par 154

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bhi aata hai.’ Payal said ‘Par aisa toh nahi hai na ke ladke nahi bana sakte?’ I said ‘Hmmm’ Payal satisfied with my answer. ‘Kahi bahar chale khaane, yahi bahar ek aacha restaurant hai.’ I said ‘Ok, par ek promise karna padega.’ Payal said ‘Kya?’ ‘Next time aapke haatho ka khaana hi khaenge.’ She smiled ‘Bilkul’ I smiled back

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Hum teeno bahar khaane ke liye chal diye. Raaste main Richa ke ghar se call aa gay usski family ko kahi jaane tha vo usse bula rahe thee vo chali gayi. Payal aur maine aakele hi dinner kiya restaurant main aur ek doosre ka number bhi exchange kiya. Vo aakele mere saath comfortable feel nahi kar rahi thi toh maine usse rukne ke liye jyada force nahi kiya. She left and wave me good bye. Main apne room par pahucha hi tha ke mere mobile par message aaya.Vo payal ka message tha. 156

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‘Happy Birthday cook.’ Maine uss waqt toh uss message ka reply nahi kara par aadhi raat ko fir ek message aaya, ‘ Aap khaana hi aacha banate ho ke baat bhi aachi bana lete ho.’ ‘Ha baat bhi kar lete hai’ ‘Ok, tell me what was the best moment of your B day today?’ ‘Hmmm….When you showed up.’ ‘Really?’ She asked back ‘Ha’

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Baate chalti rahi aur fir personal bhi ho Gyi….. ‘Aapki gf hai yaha ya fir Delhi main?’ ‘Thi, ab nahi hai. Tumahara bf hai?’ ‘Mujhe pata tha aap ye poochoge. Mera bhi tha par ab nahi hai.’ ‘Kul miloge?’ ‘Ha’

Mujhe idea tha kul kya hone vala hai. Next day hum lunch par mile. Main excited that par nervous bhi tha. Jab main usse mila toh laga ke main jitna usse milne ke liye excited tha utni hi vo 158

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bhi thi. Jaha main jyada baat kar raha tha vahi vo aaj chup thi. Saamne baith kar ussko khaate hue dekhne main ek alag hi feeling ho rahi thi. Aisa lag raha tha someone finally broken the ice of my heart. Its something magical that is happening. Main chahta tha ke meri life aage badhe par main chah kar bhi kuch nahi kar paa raha tha. Aj ye khud ho raha tha apne aap. Mujhe humesha yahi lagta tha ke meri life shayad ab aise hi rahegi. Dobara kabhi meri life main pyar aa sakta hai maine ye kabhi nahi socha tha. 159

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Uss din maine ye accept kar liya tha ke main ab vo purana Raj nahi raha hu. Jaise- jaise din gujarte jaa rahe thee mujhe lag raha tha ke mere andar change aa raha hai. Maine ye accept kar chuka tha ke payal ki company mujhe pasand thi. Iss sab ke hone ke baad bhi kuch tha jo mujhe aage badhne se roke raha tha. Baar-Baar vahi purani yaade aa kar mujhe durra rahi thi. Ab Payal bhi mere saath comfortable feel karne lagi thi. Yaha tak ki vo mujhse ye keh bhi chuki thi ke usko apni friends se jyada meri 160

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Company aachi lagti hai. Ek din vo mere room par aayi aur seedhe kaha, ‘Please tell me your story. I am here to listen your story.’ I smiled. ‘In how much detail you want to know it?’ I asked her ‘Jaise bhi aap chaho’ she said Main uski aankho main meri kahani sunne ki baichaini dekh raha tha. Main andar gaya vaha se ek book nikali aur laa kar ussko de di. ‘Issme sab kuch hai’ I gave him that book.

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Ussne mujhse vo book li aur turant padhne lag gayi. Main apne kaam main lag gaya. 3 ghante ho chuke thee vo vaha se hili bhi nahi thi. Aisa lag raha tha jaise usse apne Aas-Pass ka koi hosh hi naa ho. Vo ekdum uthi aur vaha se chali gayi main socked tha. Maine usse kuch nahi kaha uss waqt. Raat ho chuki thi main apne khayalo main khoya hua tah. Apne past aur present main uljha hua tha. Mujhe samjah nahi aa raha tha aakhir ye sab kar kon raha hai? Mere jaise ladke ko jisko ek baar pyar hona bhi 162

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bahut ajeeb laga tha ussko dobara pyar ho raha hai. How can it be? Main apni jindagi ka ye part jee chuka hu fir ab iska dobara hone ka kya matlab hai? Main sab se jhoot bole sakta hu par khud se nahi. Tabhi mere mobile ki message ki tone ring hui. Payal ka message tha. ‘Sorry Raj, main iss tarah se ekdum chali gayi. Main nahi chahti thi ki main tumhare saamne apni feelings express karu. Main ussko study karne ke liye privacy chahti thi. I just completed it. I am still crying. Shayad hurr ladki 163

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tumhare jaisa hi ladka chahti hai apni life main. How could god be so cruel to you?’ I didn’t respond to any of her message.

Next day, as usual ussne Piya ki pic dikhane ko kaha toh maine usse vo dikha di. Uss din se vo mere aur bhi pass aa gayi thi. Afternoon main hum dono lunch par mile. Ussne t- shirt pehan rakhi thi jiss par google likha hua tha. She said ‘Kon si ice cream khaoge kone aur round?’ 164

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I said ‘I like round things, especially ‘O’shaped.’ She understood my meaning and said ‘Hawww’ and slapped on my hand. I teased her further. ‘Kyo tumhe kya koi problem hai?’ She said nothing. ‘Par issme aachi lag rahio ho.’ She smiled. I saw her twinkling eyes. Soon it was Payal’s Birthday. Main jaldi utha after dressed, I went to a florist and buy Bouquet of red and white roses. We went to an restaurant. 165

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we had lavish candle lite dinner. Candle ki roshni main uska chehra aur bhi khoobsurat dikh raha tha. Kafi waqt tak hum ek doosre ki families ke bare main baate karte rahe. It was 11.30 p.m jab main usske hostel pahucha. Up above us, the half-moon in the sky was there. I stop the car suddenly she wondered why I stopped the car. She is waiting me to speak. ‘I wanted to gift you something else.’ I said She simled and said, what? I already enjoyed with you a lot 166

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‘I write something for you.’ ‘Oh wow, why you can’t tell me that befor? She said and makes her face like an angry kid ‘Ok I will read it for you.’ I said ‘Vo dekhte hai jab hume iss tarah pyar se aakhen bhar aati hai, raato ko unki yaaden hume bahut satati hai. Himmat nahi itni ki keh saku tumhe hud se jayada chahta hu main, tumhari yaado main hi din raat jeeya jaata hu main. Dil chahta hai sab kuch kehna par kuch keh nahi pata hai, unka chehra dekh kar hi dil ko sukoon aata hai. 167

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Aankho main uske sagar hai, baal jaise badal hai, husse toh phool khilte hai, chale toh dil machalte hai. Seedhi si hai, manchali bhi hai, adaye uski katil si hai. Chahta hu usse main shayad ussko pata nahi, chahat main uski murr jau toh bhi koi gila nahi. Masoomiyat usske chehre se jhalakti hai, usske aane ki rah meri aankhe takti hai, haar gaya usske pyar main toh bhi koi gum nahi….sacche pyar ko hi toh haarna padta hai aakhir iss sansaar main.

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We looked at each other. We laugh like a kid. ‘Buss khatam.’ I said She came closer to me and takes my face in her hand and kissed me on my forehead. Usski aankho main aasu thee.

Humari najdikiya din gujarne ke saath badhti jaa rahi thi. Payal ne mujhe apne Dad se milne ke liye kaha toh main ready ho gaya. Raat ko 9:30 par main payal ke ghar ke saamne khada tha. Uska ghar kaafi bada tha. Uske father businessman thee par kya business karte thee ye kabhi 169

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poocha nahi tha. Main main gate ke andar jaa hi raha tha tabhi peeche se jor se horn ki aawaj hui. Vo truck andar jaana tha gatekeeper ne gate khola aur vo truck uss ghar ke basement ke andar chala gaya. Usske peeche main bhi gate ke andar gaya kuch aage badha hi tha ke truck ke andar se kuch nikal ke gir pada. Maine usko utha ke dekha tpoh vo gun ki magazine thi. I was shocked. Mujhe laga kuch toh gadbad hai. Main gatekeeper ki najro se bachta hua usss basement ke andar pahuch gaya. Pillar ke peeche chup kar andar dekhne ki koshish karne laga. Truck main se bade Bade containe utaare jaa rahe thee. Payal ke father bhi vahi khade thee. 170

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Unko main pic main dekh chukka tha toh aasani se pehchaan gaya. Main peeche se chup chap andar gaya aur ek container khol ke dekha toh ussme Pistols, bullets, Granades etc thee. Ek baar ko main bahut durr gaya. Mere dimag main aaya ke yaha se seedhe police station jaana sahi rahega. Main ye soch kar palta hi tha ke mere hatth se takrakar ek rod neeche gir padi aur sabki guns mere upar tan gayi. ‘Kon ho tum? Yaha kya kar rahe ho?’ payal ke father ne poocha ‘Vo main Raj…. Payal ka friend.’ Main thoda ghabrakar bola

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‘Accha Raj. Payal ne bataya tha mujhko. Tum yaha kya kar rahe ho par?’ He asked ‘Par uncle ye sab theek nahi hai.’ I said ‘Karna padta hai beta. Tum abhi ye sab nahi samjhoge. Tum jao aur Payal se jakar milo. Ye sab bhool jao’ He said ‘Nahi uncle main ye sab dekh kar chup nahi reh sakta. Payal ko bata kar main police station jaroor jaunga.’ I said ‘Tum kahi nahi jaoge ab. Tumhare liye ek hi jagah bach hai ab vo hai’…..he said and fires a bullet on me but…..!!! Payal beech main pata nahi kaha se aa gayi. Goli seedhe usko lagi aur vo vahi gir padi. 172

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I shouted …‘payal….’ She said, ‘Raj jao yaha se. tumhe meri kasam hai jao.’ Isse pehle koi kuch samjh pata main vaha se bhaaga. Kuch loge mera peecha karne lage. Main sadak par betahasha bhaage jaa raha tha. Mere dimag ne kaam karna band kar diya tha. Peeche se bhaagte hue unn logo ne firing start kar di. Ek goli aa kar mere leg par lagi. Mera balance bigad gaya par main ruka nahi par saamne se aa rahe ek truck ko aandhere main dekh na pane ki vajah se that truck ran over me. Sham ka samay ho chukka tha. Main raj ki iss kahani main duba hua tha vaise hi jaise suraj doob raha tha. 173

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Mere kaano main uske shabd goonj rahe thee aankho main name bhi thi. Tabhi uski kahi aakhiri line mere jehan main goonji…… ‘Truck ran over me.’ Edum se mujhe 440V ka jhatka laga. Maine apna sar ghuma kar apne side main dekha…………vaha koi nahi tha.

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