Listening In A Healing Way
This document was uploaded by user and they confirmed that they have the permission to share it. If you are author or own the copyright of this book, please report to us by using this DMCA report form. Report DMCA
Overview
Download & View Listening In A Healing Way as PDF for free.
More details
- Words: 1,126
- Pages: 68
THE ART OF LISTENING IN A HEALING WAY
Adapted from James E. Miller - “The Art of Listening in a Healing Way” 2003
UNIVERSITY COMMUNITY HOSPITAL THE DEPARTMENT OF SPIRITUAL CARE SPIRITUAL CARE RESOURCE NURSE PROGRAM REV. 02/07
WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU FELT REALLY LISTENED TO?
WHO DID THE LISTENING? WHAT DID YOU SPEAK ABOUT? HOW DID YOU FEEL? WHY DO YOU THINK THIS MEMORY HAS STAYED WITH YOU?
Hearing vs. Listening Listening is a Choice
LISTENING - 6 TYPES 1. CASUALLY
NOT CONCENTRATING, UNFOCUSED
2. FOR COMPREHENSION
SEEKS INFORMATION
3. CRITICALLY
JUDGEMENT
4. APPRECIATIVELY
PLEASURE
5. THERAPEUTICALLY TO HELP
6. HEALING LISTENING
HEALING LISTENING * MORE ABOUT BEING THAN DOING. * LISTENING NOT TO HELP BUT TO BE WITH. * LISTEN NOT TO GIVE ADVISE, BUT TO GAIN WISDOM, INSIGHT INTO THEIR THOUGHTS, WORDS, FEELINGS.
HEALING LISTENING … OR NOT
HEALING LISTENING INVOLVES WHOLENESS
HEALING LISTENING NO AGENDA
HEALING LISTENING WE LISTEN BECAUSE... WE CHOOSE TO THE OTHER PERSON IS WORTH LISTENING TO.
HEALING LISTENING WE LISTEN BECAUSE... LISTENING CAN PUT US IN TOUCH WITH LIFE
HEALING LISTENING NO SET OF RULES, NOR METHODS.
RULES
INSTEAD WE’LL OFFER SOME GUIDELINES
PRINCIPLE #1 HEALING LISTENING IS FOUNDED AND RESTS ON WONDER
HEALING LISTENING IS FOUNDED AND RESTS ON WONDER •16,000 microscopic hairs •20,000 vibrations second •vibrations convert to neural energy •sound is processed 1,000x faster than the eye processes light
PRINCIPLE #2 HEALING LISTENING BEGINS WITH A TRIPLE INTENTION
* WILL I LISTEN? * WILL I LISTEN TO THIS TO THIS PERSON, IN THIS PLACE, AT THIS MOMENT? * WILL I LISTEN WITH THE OTHER PERSON’S NEEDS FOREMOST IN MIND?
PRINCIPLE #3 HEALING LISTENING STAYS TRUE TO THE PURPOSE OF LISTENING
THE PURPOSE OF HEALING LISTENING 1. LISTEN … CAREFULLY 2. LISTEN … RESPECTFULLY
THE PURPOSE OF HEALING LISTENING 3. LISTEN … CARINGLY 4. LISTEN … BELIEVINGLY
“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.” Mary Ann Evans
PRINCIPLE #4 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS TO SELF… BEFORE LISTENING TO ANOTHER
•HOW ARE YOU FEELING? •WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOU? •ARE YOU READY TO LISTEN? •BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
PRINCIPLE #5 HEALING LISTENING INVOLVES AN EQUAL RELATIONSHIP LIVED OUT IN AN UNEQUAL WAY.
PRINCIPLE #6 A HEALING LISTENER STAYS IN THE MOMENT
“The only thing that matters is the everlasting present.” w. Somerset Maugham
“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery.” H.G. Wells
PRINCIPLE #7 A HEALING LISTENER CONSCIOUSLY STILLS
“Next to love, quietness.” English Proverb
And Silence, like a poultice, comes to heal the blows of sound.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
“We can make our minds so much like still water that beings gather about us to see their own images.” William Butler Yeats
PRINCIPLE #8 A HEALING LISTENER DRAWS CLOSE
PRINCIPLE #9 A HEALING LISTENER KEEPS A DISTANCE
“The field cannot well be seen from within the field.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
PRINCIPLE #10 A HEALING LISTENER FACES
“When people come face to face, their differences vanish.” Chinese Proverb
PRINCIPLE #11 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS WITH HIS EYES
“You can observe a lot just by watching.” Yogi Berra
PRINCIPLE #12 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS WITH HIS HEART
“They have closed their unfeeling heart…” Psalm 17:10
“I will meditate with my heart,And my spirit ponders…” Psalm 77:6 “Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding.” Prov. 2:2
PRINCIPLE #13 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS THROUGH HIS SOUL
“For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” Rom. 8:14 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart…. And He shall direct your paths.” Prov. 3:5-6
PRINCIPLE #14 A HEALING LISTENER SURRENDERS
“The one who, conscious of being strong is content to be weak shall be the paragon of all humankind.” Lao Tze “...whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; …for even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, …”
Mark 10:43-45
“If to talk to oneself when alone is folly, it must be doubly unwise to listen to oneself in the presence of others.” Baltasar Gracian
PRINCIPLE #15 A HEALING LISTENER CLEAVES TO SILENCE
“What shall I say to you? What can I say better than silence is?.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“They have closed their unfeeling heart, With their mouth they speak proudly.” Psalm 17:10
PRINCIPLE #16 A HEALING LISTENER SPEAKS
* HEALING LISTENING IS INTERACTIVE * WELL-SPOKEN, WELL-TIMED WORDS * DON’T INTERRUPT YOUR LISTENING OR THE OTHER’S SPEAKING
PRINCIPLE #17 A HEALING LISTENER “FEELS INTO”
* EMPATHY - “FEELS INTO” OR ATTENDING ONLY TO THE OTHER’S FEELINGS * SYMPATHY - ATTEND TO THE OTHER’S FEELINGS AS WELL AS TO YOUR OWN * GOAL OF EMPATHY - TO KNOW AS FULLY AS YOU CAN, THE TRUTH OF THEIR PRESENT LIVED EXPERIENCE.
PRINCIPLE #18 A HEALING LISTENER ADAPTS
PRINCIPLE #19 A HEALING LISTENER ACKNOWLEDGES THE ENDING OF THE TIME TOGETHER.
“YES” - AFFIRMING “THANK YOU” - APPRECIATION “GOODBYE” - COMPLETION
PRINCIPLE #20 A HEALING LISTENER REFRAINS FROM LISTENING.
“The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice.” Mary Ann Evans
“The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no.” Abraham Joshua Heschel
PRINCIPLE #21 HEALING LISTENING REQUIRES A TRIPLE DOSE OF PATIENCE
PRINCIPLE #22 HEALING LISTENING RESTS ON HUMILITY
“Humility is attentive patience.” Simone Weil
“The four cardinal virtues are humility, humility, humility, humility.” Bernard of Clairveaux
PRINCIPLE #23 HEALING LISTENERS TRUST THEY ARE ENOUGH
“Every man is more than just himself, he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in this way and never again.” Hermann Hesse
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Cor. 1:3-4.
PRINCIPLE #24 HEALING LISTENING IS, AT BASIS, AN ACT OF LOVE
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” 1 Cor 13:4-8
Listen to others…. As you would want to be listened to.
Adapted from James E. Miller - “The Art of Listening in a Healing Way” 2003
UNIVERSITY COMMUNITY HOSPITAL THE DEPARTMENT OF SPIRITUAL CARE SPIRITUAL CARE RESOURCE NURSE PROGRAM REV. 02/07
WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU FELT REALLY LISTENED TO?
WHO DID THE LISTENING? WHAT DID YOU SPEAK ABOUT? HOW DID YOU FEEL? WHY DO YOU THINK THIS MEMORY HAS STAYED WITH YOU?
Hearing vs. Listening Listening is a Choice
LISTENING - 6 TYPES 1. CASUALLY
NOT CONCENTRATING, UNFOCUSED
2. FOR COMPREHENSION
SEEKS INFORMATION
3. CRITICALLY
JUDGEMENT
4. APPRECIATIVELY
PLEASURE
5. THERAPEUTICALLY TO HELP
6. HEALING LISTENING
HEALING LISTENING * MORE ABOUT BEING THAN DOING. * LISTENING NOT TO HELP BUT TO BE WITH. * LISTEN NOT TO GIVE ADVISE, BUT TO GAIN WISDOM, INSIGHT INTO THEIR THOUGHTS, WORDS, FEELINGS.
HEALING LISTENING … OR NOT
HEALING LISTENING INVOLVES WHOLENESS
HEALING LISTENING NO AGENDA
HEALING LISTENING WE LISTEN BECAUSE... WE CHOOSE TO THE OTHER PERSON IS WORTH LISTENING TO.
HEALING LISTENING WE LISTEN BECAUSE... LISTENING CAN PUT US IN TOUCH WITH LIFE
HEALING LISTENING NO SET OF RULES, NOR METHODS.
RULES
INSTEAD WE’LL OFFER SOME GUIDELINES
PRINCIPLE #1 HEALING LISTENING IS FOUNDED AND RESTS ON WONDER
HEALING LISTENING IS FOUNDED AND RESTS ON WONDER •16,000 microscopic hairs •20,000 vibrations second •vibrations convert to neural energy •sound is processed 1,000x faster than the eye processes light
PRINCIPLE #2 HEALING LISTENING BEGINS WITH A TRIPLE INTENTION
* WILL I LISTEN? * WILL I LISTEN TO THIS TO THIS PERSON, IN THIS PLACE, AT THIS MOMENT? * WILL I LISTEN WITH THE OTHER PERSON’S NEEDS FOREMOST IN MIND?
PRINCIPLE #3 HEALING LISTENING STAYS TRUE TO THE PURPOSE OF LISTENING
THE PURPOSE OF HEALING LISTENING 1. LISTEN … CAREFULLY 2. LISTEN … RESPECTFULLY
THE PURPOSE OF HEALING LISTENING 3. LISTEN … CARINGLY 4. LISTEN … BELIEVINGLY
“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.” Mary Ann Evans
PRINCIPLE #4 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS TO SELF… BEFORE LISTENING TO ANOTHER
•HOW ARE YOU FEELING? •WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOU? •ARE YOU READY TO LISTEN? •BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
PRINCIPLE #5 HEALING LISTENING INVOLVES AN EQUAL RELATIONSHIP LIVED OUT IN AN UNEQUAL WAY.
PRINCIPLE #6 A HEALING LISTENER STAYS IN THE MOMENT
“The only thing that matters is the everlasting present.” w. Somerset Maugham
“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery.” H.G. Wells
PRINCIPLE #7 A HEALING LISTENER CONSCIOUSLY STILLS
“Next to love, quietness.” English Proverb
And Silence, like a poultice, comes to heal the blows of sound.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
“We can make our minds so much like still water that beings gather about us to see their own images.” William Butler Yeats
PRINCIPLE #8 A HEALING LISTENER DRAWS CLOSE
PRINCIPLE #9 A HEALING LISTENER KEEPS A DISTANCE
“The field cannot well be seen from within the field.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
PRINCIPLE #10 A HEALING LISTENER FACES
“When people come face to face, their differences vanish.” Chinese Proverb
PRINCIPLE #11 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS WITH HIS EYES
“You can observe a lot just by watching.” Yogi Berra
PRINCIPLE #12 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS WITH HIS HEART
“They have closed their unfeeling heart…” Psalm 17:10
“I will meditate with my heart,And my spirit ponders…” Psalm 77:6 “Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding.” Prov. 2:2
PRINCIPLE #13 A HEALING LISTENER LISTENS THROUGH HIS SOUL
“For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” Rom. 8:14 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart…. And He shall direct your paths.” Prov. 3:5-6
PRINCIPLE #14 A HEALING LISTENER SURRENDERS
“The one who, conscious of being strong is content to be weak shall be the paragon of all humankind.” Lao Tze “...whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; …for even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, …”
Mark 10:43-45
“If to talk to oneself when alone is folly, it must be doubly unwise to listen to oneself in the presence of others.” Baltasar Gracian
PRINCIPLE #15 A HEALING LISTENER CLEAVES TO SILENCE
“What shall I say to you? What can I say better than silence is?.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“They have closed their unfeeling heart, With their mouth they speak proudly.” Psalm 17:10
PRINCIPLE #16 A HEALING LISTENER SPEAKS
* HEALING LISTENING IS INTERACTIVE * WELL-SPOKEN, WELL-TIMED WORDS * DON’T INTERRUPT YOUR LISTENING OR THE OTHER’S SPEAKING
PRINCIPLE #17 A HEALING LISTENER “FEELS INTO”
* EMPATHY - “FEELS INTO” OR ATTENDING ONLY TO THE OTHER’S FEELINGS * SYMPATHY - ATTEND TO THE OTHER’S FEELINGS AS WELL AS TO YOUR OWN * GOAL OF EMPATHY - TO KNOW AS FULLY AS YOU CAN, THE TRUTH OF THEIR PRESENT LIVED EXPERIENCE.
PRINCIPLE #18 A HEALING LISTENER ADAPTS
PRINCIPLE #19 A HEALING LISTENER ACKNOWLEDGES THE ENDING OF THE TIME TOGETHER.
“YES” - AFFIRMING “THANK YOU” - APPRECIATION “GOODBYE” - COMPLETION
PRINCIPLE #20 A HEALING LISTENER REFRAINS FROM LISTENING.
“The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice.” Mary Ann Evans
“The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no.” Abraham Joshua Heschel
PRINCIPLE #21 HEALING LISTENING REQUIRES A TRIPLE DOSE OF PATIENCE
PRINCIPLE #22 HEALING LISTENING RESTS ON HUMILITY
“Humility is attentive patience.” Simone Weil
“The four cardinal virtues are humility, humility, humility, humility.” Bernard of Clairveaux
PRINCIPLE #23 HEALING LISTENERS TRUST THEY ARE ENOUGH
“Every man is more than just himself, he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world’s phenomena intersect, only once in this way and never again.” Hermann Hesse
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Cor. 1:3-4.
PRINCIPLE #24 HEALING LISTENING IS, AT BASIS, AN ACT OF LOVE
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” 1 Cor 13:4-8
Listen to others…. As you would want to be listened to.
Related Documents
Listening In A Healing Way
June 2020 9
Health In A Natural Way
October 2019 14
Listening
November 2019 42
Listening
July 2020 27
Listening
October 2019 42
Listening
November 2019 37More Documents from ""
Coming Into The Quiet
June 2020 12
Blowing Out The Fuse
June 2020 5
Listening In A Healing Way
June 2020 9
Sub-sea_conductor_study.pdf
April 2020 13
