Limelight Series 1st Imp

FROM FIRST FIVE MINUTES LIVING IN YOUR LIMELIGHT SERIES

Career Workshops Mission Germany Human Resources November 18th, 2008 Presented by: Roberta Hill

AGENDA   The

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medium is the message   Goals of reading body language   Reading - posture exercise   Responding - Western Business Standard   The Interview - the four keys - first impressions   Respect - personal space exercise   German cultural considerations

COMMUNICATION STATISTICS  

     

Source Unknown

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 

we use only 25% of our listening capacity we think at 500 words per minute we listen at about 300 words per minute we talk at 150 - 200 words per minute we forget 50% of what we have heard within 2 hours

THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE

  Visual

/ Body Language   Voice / Tone / Inflection   Contents / Words

55% 38% 7%

From 1971 study by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, “Silent Messages” referring to the emotional content.

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Others “listen” to you and evaluate your message based on the the following input:

WORDS ARE 7%?

♪

♩

♬

♭

♫

♩

♮

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I didn’t say John was stupid.

FOCUS   Decode

RESPOND

  Ensure

RESPECT

messages   Plan response congruence   Build trust and rapport   Avoid

manipulation   Equalize power   Honor culture

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READ

OPEN

reflective

FORWARD

BACK combative

fugitive

CLOSED From the work of John Mole: Four Basic Business Modes. Used with permission.

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responsive

WHAT MIGHT THIS BEHAVIOR COMMUNICATE?   Leaning

forward in chair:

  Leaning

back in chair, arms folded: chin in both hands:

  Yawning:   Smiling:   Frowning:   Smiling

and nodding

  Glancing

at watch:

  Looking

around room:

  Tapping

fingers on table:

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  Resting

TRY TO DEMONSTRATE THESE ATTITUDES: Openness to what a speaker is saying

o 

Interest

o 

Seriousness

o 

Agreement

o 

Friendliness

o 

Concern

o 

Confidence

o 

Thoughtfulness

o 

Intellectual excitement

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o 

THE 4 KEYS TO SUCCESS Entrance + Enthusiasm + Engagement + Energy =============== Success © www.1-Focus.com

THE INTERVIEW COSTUME   Personal

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hygiene - forget the fragrances   Simple, conservative   Long is better than short   Clean, sharp, ironed   Solid neutral colors   Coordination   Limit accessories   Match the culture of the organization

SMILE   Smirk

  Sincere

  Pained

  Universal

  Toothy

  Slightly

  Too

  All

face muscles

open

broad   Twitching   Short

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  Relaxed

EYE CONTACT

  Five

+ Seconds   Near The Eyes   Relaxed

  Eye

Dart   Off In Space   Slow-Blink   Down or About

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  Steady

THE HANDSHAKE   Dry

Palm

  Firm   Straight

Up   Maintain Eye Contact   Give Greeting

  Bone

Crusher   Loose   Half Grip   Sideways   Cupping   Elbow Touch

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  Full

  Limp

THE INTERVIEW - FIRST IMPRESSIONS   Dress

dirty fingernails, scruffy shoes)

  Make

an entrance - Use good posture   Keep the goal in mind   Smile   Make eye contact   Give a solid handshake   Watch where and when you sit down

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with appropriate style   Attend to the 3 deadly sins - (messy hair,

THE REST OF THE MEETING

Primacy Effect - “first impressions are lasting Halo Effect

- our general impression based on one characteristic colors our perception of other characteristics

Recency Bias - the most recent information dominates our perception of others

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impressions”

THE INTERVIEW - READING CUES  Posture

 Furniture

 Facial

Arrangements  General Appearance  Space and Proximity

Expressions  Gestures  Hands and Feet  Silence  Voice

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 Time

BODY TALK TO AVOID   Playing

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with your hair   Touching your face   Meaningless hand gestures   Fidgeting - especially foot tapping   Fiddling with paper or pen   Drifting eye movement   Crossing arms in front of yourself

POSITIVE RESPONSES   Maintaining

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eye contact   Occasionally nodding the head   Smiling   Showing some animation   Leaning toward the speaker   Speaking at a moderate rate   Using a lower, assuring tone

THE INTERVIEW - TALKING MONEY?   Don’t

From “How to Say it at Work” by Jack Griffin

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grimace   Don’t smile   Don’t look down   Don’t squint or shut your eyes   Don’t look up at the ceiling   Don’t roll your eyes   Don’t cross your arms   Don’t bring your hand to your face or mouth   Maintain neutral eye contact

MIRRORING    

         

Stance Head Position Voice (Volume) Breathing Patterns Energy and Intensity Pacing & Leading Purpose is to build rapport and trust

When deep rapport is established, mirroring happens naturally. Complete mirroring results in experiencing the same feelings.

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 

Never Mimic

PERSONAL BUBBLE Intimate 0 to 18 inches

Public

Personal 18” to 4 feet

Social 4 to 12 feet

From the work of Edward T. Hall

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12 feet plus

ACCEPTABLE TOUCHING? Shaking someone’s hand.

 

Giving a friend the “high five” slap.

 

Touching someone’s back.

 

Poking someone in the arm to get their attention.

 

Slapping someone on the arm.

 

Rubbing someone’s shoulders.

 

Bumping into someone with your shoulder.

 

Putting your arm around someone’s shoulder.

 

Giving someone a “bear hug.”

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SAMPLES OF CULTURE DIFFERENCES   Knodding

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….   Handshakes …..   Conversational overlaps …..   Raised eyebrows …..   Speaking softly ….   Silence….   Others ….

HOW TO CONTACT US:

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Sandy Weiner BA, MEd, MCC

Roberta Hill, BA, MBA, MCC

Marius Hansa, PCC

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

Berlin

Geneva

Frankfurt