Life Inside Pajamas: A Poetic Look At Modern Society

PAJAMA

POET THOMFOX

Li f eI ns i dePaj amas

A poet i cl ookatmoder ns oc i et y

Se l e c t e dwor ksofThoma sJ .Fox

A little bit about the author… In my close to thirty-eight years of existence, I have experienced a great many things. I have a saying that I live by, “If you don’t like your life, change it!” Sounds simple enough, right? However, as I am sure many of you will agree, it is harder than it sounds. Nonetheless, I find this philosophy to be paramount to my existence. I have spent many years of my life depressed and angry. While I was wallowing in self-pity it hit me one day - if you don’t like your life, change it. How? Penance! I have made many bad choices in my life. I have hurt people who offered their help to me as well as others left vulnerable by their own misfortunes. Why? Youthful ignorance, reckless abandon? Truth is, I do not know the answer. I was born a poor black child. Actually, I was not. That is one of Navin Johnson’s opening lines from The Jerk. (Which, incidentally, was the first movie that my grandfather took me to see. For those of you doing the math, yes, I was eight years old.) Seriously, I was born with asthma and in the course of my first three day's on this planet I died three times. Whenever I contemplate about God, I think he was trying to tell me something - but I digress. My mother had a real tough time throughout the labor, mainly because of the painkillers and anti-depression medication withdrawals. Unfortunately, she had to stop taking her medications for the last few weeks of her pregnancy. She had been on the medications due to the cruelty of my father. He was abusive coward who was so enraged by his lack of success he lashed out at those weaker than he was. My dad was furious about my poor health and blamed my illness on my mother. As I am his only son, I was meant to carry on the family name. He took this a little too serious, I mean we were not the Ewing’s of Southfork, we were the Fox’s of Queens with a fortune that was sizably less. After I was healthy enough to take home, my father separated from my mother. (Actually, I am being generous; he actually threw her and my one-year-old sister out on the street.) His heroic nature did not stop there. He soon realized the challenges of raising a sickly infant and conned my grandparents into taking me in.

Now my grandparents were great. My grandmother’s name was Kitty, and my grandfather was Thomas. When they decided to alleviate the burdens of their baby boy, my father, they were well into their sixties. It’s funny; as I write this I find it truly amazing that they cared for me as they did. My condition worsened over the years, and weekly hospital visits to the emergency room at 3am were an all too common occurrence. Especially considering that my grandfather was still working. His schedule was; up at 4:30am and off to work, put in an eleven-hour day as a maintenance engineer, back home for dinner at 3:30pm and off to bed at 7pm. Grandma never worked. She had raised my father and his sister Teresa, and now me. She was a strong Irish woman who would sooner knock you out than have you speak ill of another. They truly tried to provide for me they best they could. But due to the poisonous nature of my father, they became party to myriad of lies that lead to my downfall. The greatest of which involved the circumstances that surrounded my grandmother’s death, which sent me into the deepest despair that I have ever experienced. Things have thankfully gotten better. Although I've been up and down a mountain of hell, I’m still standing. To be truthful, I have not been the best human being that I could have been. Throughout my existence I have portrayed many roles in this play we call life. I have been a drug addict, a victim, a thief, a liar, a drain on society, rich, poor, a S.O.B., troubled and thankfully, enlightened. Thomas J. Fox [email protected]

Coming Soon: Worn Pajamas

Live Inside Pajamas A poetic look at modern society

Thomas J. Fox ©2007

Life Inside Pajamas: Poems

Tapestry Slowness of Breath Dear Tree My heart... it is yours Japanese Cartoon Motorcycle Chase Follow with Care... Battles As Simple as Rocket Science Addict The Gift of a New Day Fugue Leaving the Nest Silence Drunkards Prayer If You Can Still Cry... Praying for Prophecy I Lie Awake A Long Overdue Short Farewell to an Old Friend My F’n Life; in Semi-Poetic Form… You + Bullet = Dead Satan: The Barbara Walters Interview You Want a Resolution? Officer Down The Words on this Page Thesis of a Man Submerged Bountiful I Give My Last... Stop the War Bottom Feeder The Devil in my PJ's... This... Dang’ole Love Questioning Resolve at 6 a.m. Blowing Kisses Crash Exhaustion and Rejuvenation Thinking of You Blue-Eyed Girl Dying Slowly Inside Angers Embrace Playing Kickball with Wee Jesus and Baby Satan Victim of God Undeserving: A Message to Mommy

Family Sin At Sunrise Unconsciousness A Slit of the Wrist Tenderness of Hand Grenades Polar Skies Filth Vein Bleeding on the Floor of the World Snow Replaced the Sun Anatomy of a Victim Capturing Sunshine Black Lake of Coal I'm Drinking with Mel Torme Nowhere Now Walking through a Coma Sharing a Laugh with Satan Whoring Kills a Happy Home Disappointing People and the Misfits that Love Them Johnny's Prayer Oops' My Walk Concludes Death of an Irishman Drug Dealer The Death of Catherine the Lowly In My Rockin' Chair Summertime Valentine St. Valentine’s Curse Sleeping Down by the River Invisible Souls Fallen from a Rainbow My Grandmother's Apron The Green Grove Sessions Unravel Victorious Suicide Five AM Poem about Life A Dream of the Grandest Splendor Incarcerated Heart A Boy in “Love” Give me a Bottle and Three Minutes with God Tomorrow... Waiting

Life Inside Pajamas

Tapestry My song plays less sweetly on broken guitars, This pain heals slowly; as do dirt-covered scars. I am an embarrassment to my ancestry… Life; a tarnished tapestry. Broken wings outline my slumping shadow… And guilt stains all the memories that I know. These years have been a travesty… Life; a dreary tapestry. Hope; the rung of a ladder that cannot be reached… Like the ocean to starfish viciously beached. I hate to live; slave to apathy… Life; a fading tapestry. In these closing moments that mark my end… Blanket me with kindness my dearest friend. I trip into the darkness, for I cannot see… Life; a folded tapestry.

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Life Inside Pajamas

Slowness of Breath Slowness of Breath, My heart ceases. So close to death, In my face, I trace times creases. My friend the Past sits to my right, As we share a glass of wine. To my final moments, he adds light, On the memories, I dine. I remember each laugh as clear as day, And feel their tingle upon my lips. Embraced each love that came my way, Their warmth I cherish as my life slips. How lucky am I, To have lived a life so rich? As I am about to die, I have no final wish.

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Life Inside Pajamas

Dear Tree Dear Tree, You have seemed to peak my interest on an off day. I see your splendor, yet am unable to transfer it to the paper before me. My words are hostage within the ink of this pen. In time, I stand suspended. A bewildered visitor to an era where words do not exist. I see evolution before my very eyes. Creatures stir and mountains rise; the word is yet to crawl. Such a tragedy; I find you to be in particular magnificence. I doubt that the instance will be soon where I am to witness you in this form again. Moments are passing on the breeze that combs your limbs. While my time as your mother's guest is short, I anticipate your stay shall be considerably longer. Shame I could not convey the words that would allow you to live for eternity. A gift she has deprived both of us. Sincerely, The Blocked Writer

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Life Inside Pajamas

My heart... it is yours Broken and discarded, Healing while guarded, Behind windows of the thickest pane, And dead bolted doors. My heart... it is yours. I have cried my last tear, Relinquished all fear. Freed from my prison, My spirit soars. My heart... it is yours. Over all the miles, The countless trials, My path brought me to you. Standing now on sunny shores, My heart... it is yours. I fall to my knees, Kiss the oncoming breeze, And send a smile to heaven. Simply because, My heart... it is yours.

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Japanese Cartoon Motorcycle Chase Streetlamp, Black, Streetlamp, Black, Streetlamp, Black… This is my life. A chase… Bright to dark, Full to stark. Pumping strides, Thumping glides, All of the challenges… Blessed rides. To maneuver a turn, Is a lesson to learn. I may crash I may burn… And if so; As the phoenix rises, So shall I. My dearest friends I’ll tell you why. Streetlamp, Black, Streetlamp, Black, Streetlamp, Black… It is simply a matter of evolution; Light is a part of the revolution. 5|P a g e

Life Inside Pajamas

Follow with Care... I see you... Clear through. Your darkness and light, Your inner fight. For redemption... So thick; the need for Ascension. I see your struggle, As I have seen my own. Know my brother, You... are not alone. Follow the footsteps I lay before you, One at a time... Careful... keep your balance true. ... For when you walk another’s path through Hell, Demons of failure often dwell.

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Battles Do I follow anger, Down your darkened road? Do I embrace rage, Allowing my composure to erode? Should I not be like you? Pitching fits and cussing. Or should I just relax, And let you tire from your fussing?

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As Simple as Rocket Science Love is as simple as rocket science, With its rules, there must be compliance. But I swear they must be written in Womanese... The female of the species, Quick to throw the Fit Feces, Should her will be challenged. She can be as ornery as a rabid beaver, For on more than one occasion, have I dodged a cleaver, From the most demure of souls. She possesses wisdom to behold, Always informing us of what she should be told. "No you're not fat, and those jeans make your ass look great." And jealous; well… merely a word, But to females a sport; a competition most absurd, The only bonus, the catfight of course... But to blame the follies of love on females is quite unfair, To their intelligence, man cannot compare, Or so they tell us... Therefore, to the guidance of woman I try to adhere, As I know, they will make their intentions clear, ... Ah, who am I kidding? I just want to keep my nuts intact.

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Addict Only black, no hope! The white of paper, The smoke. A needle, A prick, I make myself sick... In the name of the father, And the Holy Ghost, I swear, I hate myself most! So I hide, I slide... Into this drug I love its hug... Warm as sun Second to none... You draw me in, Sweetest sin. Alone; away, I like it this way. Day by day I wish to stay... Addicted, Restricted... From life, Its strife. The human race. Tired the chase... To be complete, Tomorrow; repeat! 9|P a g e

Life Inside Pajamas

The Gift of a New Day Sleepyhead, Wake from bed, It's time to greet the morning new. Wipe your eyes, Forget the lies, Mother Nature waits for you. The sun it shines, Put down your crimes, Gaze upon her morning dew. Dress a smile, It's been a while, There is much left to pursue. So step out proudly, Pipe up loudly... Let the world witness your debut.

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Fugue I do not know my number, I barely know my name. I have lived this lifetime over, Frame by painful frame. Crying in agony, In this most simple hell. Screaming for leaving, My cerebral cell. My jailor; the past, My lord and master. His watch I cannot elude, Captive audience to his symphony of disaster. The low points of a hallow existence, Serve as my bars. Attempts at their destruction, Reopens all of my scars. My loves gone wrong, All the pain I have caused. My poorly chosen words, In moments I should have paused. Note by note come rushing back, Into a mind grown frail. Fortifying the walls, Of this all too real jail.

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Leaving the Nest I can't go home... I burned all the fences. I feel so alone, Lowered my defenses. I burned all the fences, Of my white-picket prison. Lowered my defenses... It was a damn good decision. Of my white-picket prison, I'll say the following. It was a damn good decision... To end all the wallowing. I'll say the following, To the timid and meek. To end all the wallowing, Search out all that you seek.

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Silence It overpowered me, the oh so cold silence... Deafening madness to a man with no ears. Burrowing softly; it's been a while since… It overpowered me, the oh so cold silence. Hurting so smoothly, I yield a mild wince... Pain evokes anger, sadness and fears. It overpowered me, the oh so cold silence... Deafening madness to a man with no ears.

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Drunkards Prayer Hold onto your child with all of your might, Don't release me into this city's night. I know I'll misstep; I shall walk astray… Drowning in spirits and making gay, Losing the strength to win this fight. Become an anchor in this thirsty plight, Secure these demons; do not grant them flight. Send me a sign that I must obey… Oh Lord, hold onto your child. Impart your wisdom; celestial sight… The darkness is coming to slay the light. Locking my fingers, I begin to pray… That sweet sobriety shall win today. I now close my eyes and simply recite… Oh Lord, hold onto your child.

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If You Can Still Cry... If you can still cry, Things will be ok! Because if you still try, (There) has to be a way… To make your tomorrow, As bright as the sun. To cast away sorrow, And be whole; be one. The salt of your tears, Are fuel you can use. To end all your fears, And bring forth the news… If you can still cry, Things will be ok! Because if you still try, (There) has to be a way… To end this depression, And wear a great smile. To practice suppression, And walk a great mile. Salvation is waiting, Just around the next bend, So no more debating Here's how to end… If you can still cry, Things will be ok! Because if you still try, (There) has to be a way…

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Praying for Prophecy A gaze shall haunt for eternity? This is my prophecy; That my heart shall die fivefold. Oh sad prophecy. Doomed! Her eyes chill me to my very core. In them I once saw promise; a sweet prophecy…. That our love would be the air she breathed; Each draw bearing hope. Where went this prophecy? Then it came, a moment upon bended knee... And with a word so short; shattered prophecy. As a wave crashes forcefully onto the shore, So did my heart. You have stolen my prophecy. Drenched in fear, I wonder what is to become of me? Again on bended knee, Thomas prays for a prophecy.

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Life Inside Pajamas

I Lie Awake What if I could no longer breathe? The air in my lungs turned to H2O. Collapsing from the pressure, they concede. What an unpleasant way to go. What if my eyes failed to see? A cavern of emptiness I would behold, Not for a moment, but eternity. What a desolate way to be. What if my mouth failed to speak? Trapped in the movies of the silent era, An outcome I find particularly bleak. What a chilling prospect; sheer terror. What if my body failed to feel? No longer registering the slightest caress. Making meaningless a kiss to steal. What cause for distress. What if my mind failed to think? Frantic an ocean my head would turn. Madness! Surely, I would be at its brink. What a horrific image does this burn. What if life halted? On a dime, right now. Are there things I'd have altered? What if I could change... somehow?

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A Long Overdue Short Farewell to an Old Friend What's it been, 20 years? By my count; 12,000 beers. Been too drunk to count the cheers… Sober now; recall the tears. Alas, I take my leave of you, Chalice filled with tempting brew, And that which you have put me through... So long, farewell, good-bye, adieu.

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My F’n Life; in Semi-Poetic Form… I try to bring new words; They've all been spoken. Someone hands me a cigarette, But I'm already smokin'. I remember puff, puff give; Damnit I'm chokin'! I got rage in a bottle; The glass is cracked. I hit on a chick, "Ouch," got slapped. Tried to steal the scene, Wait a minute, I can't act... Maybe I'm stoopid; I need an education. Try to be normal, It's all's forsaken. Like pork chops for dinner; I'm shakin' and bakin' I got no friends, They all ran away. Can't get out of bed, I hate the day! People tell me the same thing, "It won't stay this way." My ego shrunk, It couldn't take the hit. Took a cheese grater to my wrists; I tried to quit. 15 sleeping pills; They just made me shit.

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So now I'm chill; Part time suicidal. Huff some glue, (Keeps me idle.) Perhaps I’ll shift my energy; Oh, I feel it; homicidal. I could be a maniac, Minus the splash of water. Feel free to do as Iron Maiden said, "Bring your Daughter to the Slaughter." Got to prep my defense; Watch me a block of Law and Order… Cause I won't let them take me; At least not alive. I'll cut them down, That's right, I'll let the anger thrive! I guess I got you guessin' Is this write real or just a load of jive?

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You + Bullet = Dead Since the world forced this boy to fall with placenta; Been a student of caution; childhood dementia. Always maintain a blue eye over my chip-laden shoulder. The meek can get uppity; act uncharacteristically bolder. Keep a good portion of whoopass in my torn front pocket; Sometimes it seeps out, other times it flies like a rocket. What I'm supposed to do, sit in a corner and pray for peace? I don't own no time; every moment I breathe is on lease. My minds set on a collision course of mass-destruction, Some have the nerve to say that my soul is under construction. Why? Cause I am a man of ill intent and devils tone? I learned to leave the house strapped; never alone… So I got me a sawed-off shotgun wit' an "iffy" aim. You might not get kilt' but you sho' as hell leaving lame. Fools are called such for their uneducated actions; I'm adding buckshot to flesh; making people subtractions.

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Life Inside Pajamas

Satan: The Barbara Walters Interview Betwixt passion and suffering… It's a living; just my thing. Passing the time with a beverage, Until you yield to me my leverage. Ah, and you know that you will; A life of on-demand lust and $2 swill… How can you resist temptation? So, welcome to eternal damnation. Now... it's not like Brad or Pachino depicted… Hollywood; it's all backdrops and scripted. No, my version is a bit more serious. If I do say so, I'm quite the ruler; imperious. There's lashings at noon and blinding at one… Just thinking about it... (shivers) it's quite the fun. Oh, and the unending mental manipulation... Like a well done Porterhouse (salivation.) So, as you go through your days; your nine to five… Depressed and bitching about being alive… I sit on this throne, loving my job. For tomorrow comes another sinful sod.

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Life Inside Pajamas

You Want a Resolution? Time for a new year, A fresh tear. I laugh; sneer… Cause the old one was lonesome… Humdrum… A goddamn distraction… So I beg for sweet clarity, Compassion; some charity, I'm a son of disparity… Loving the evil, Down with upheaval, Mindsets medieval… Now, I'm a knight in plate armor, Hell, I'm no charmer... But flinch and I’ll harm ya'. It's the dawn of a new day… Breeze bends trees; sway. Walking a new way… Removing the nice, Pack it up; put it on ice. I won't think twice… For it's my resolution, To give a solution… End America's prostitution. Won't own an Ipod... Snooze; nod. Someone call me the Geek Squad… (continued…) 23 | P a g e

Life Inside Pajamas

Cause my PC is lazy, And the keys make me hazy. Not writing this piece to faze ye'… But the words want to scream, All over your screen…. Clean it up; paint you a new scene… In two thousand seven, I'm tearing at heaven. Like Spinal Tap; loud is eleven… I'm killing the lies, Ending the cries, And parting the thighs… So look out democracy, Take a second to watch me. Look ma; no hands… see? Your son in a new man… No longer eats from a trashcan, Sets it up; slam! Say goodbye to the old one, It rises and sets; sun… Tell the world to come get some!

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Officer Down Two smoldering holes in his chest… Stricken from life; added to death. Today, the Lord said "ye' not be blest." Two smoldering holes in his chest… On his slowing heart; the bullets pressed. Kissing her memory with his final breath… Stricken from life; added to death.

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Life Inside Pajamas

The Words on this Page The words on this page... Stand on the world's stage, Donning outrage, Granting freedom from a cage. A mind traveling as the speed of thought, Dispelling the issues the day has wrought. Black upon white, Evil and light, Day verses night. The words on this page... Tell a story of me, My role in humanity, The thrall of insanity. Coming in the hours of early light, As well as those of the dead of night. Mixing with tempered tears, The result of fears, Anger as the end nears. The words on this page... Speak of lost loves, Untaken hugs, Decadence of drugs. A life in the making, A chance worth taking. They are prophecy, Hypocrisy, Damning of democracy. (continued…) 26 | P a g e

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The words on this page... Take their toll, On a heart so broken it's whole. Simply put, they are my soul.

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Thesis of a Man Submerged I don't wish for peace... Rather pieces, Tis my life's thesis. A landscape drenched in sorrow, Fragments of a lost tomorrow. My conscience; scattered randomly. The death knell of Karma; Crippling its defecating drama. A voice to the hopeful goes silent. Endless miles of smiles, A metric ton of denials. YOU live as if the future yields promise! But I drench... In your stench, As these trembling fists clench! Now I kick, And I scream... "I am unclean!" For I am dark; With the dirty desire, To engulf your life in fire... Instead, I will take my leave. And as I go, My hatred shall grow… Of a time so trite, Your glimmer of light... In a sea of darkness where I breathe so naturally. 28 | P a g e

Life Inside Pajamas

Bountiful I woke hungry and gave my meal away; God said there was more bounty to come. Famished, I roamed; searching for a stray… Yes, I woke hungry and gave my meal away; The Lord asked I feed a starving soul today… And they ate well, from loaf to crumb. I woke hungry and gave my meal away; God said there was more bounty to come.

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I Give My Last... Slow bass beat with a snare drum, Backdrop for the words to come... I want to end it all, In this bathroom stall. Neanderthal, Enthrall... With their writing on this wall. Surrounded by words of past prophets, Simple motherfuckers who left behind their drop-its. Talking for a good time call, This low-esteem skank that does it all. (Damn numbers disconnected.) Where the fuck has my culture gone, Damn right I got cause for alarm. Evolution called; it wants its progress back, Rewind to a time without fire; pitch fucking black. Doing what my life is, (Shit) I wonder where my wife is? Where the fuck my knife is? I want to end it all, In this bathroom stall. Neanderthal, Enthrall... With their writing on this wall.

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My life is a blunder, Reality; blown asunder. I got no reason to live, Just one shit to give. (that'll be gone in a minute) Fucking job got me down, Propping up a faulty king's crown. Bounce at five double zero, Momma ain't raise no workforce hero! (Damn skippy!) I wanted an empire, Now I just want to expire. I did all I can do, Now I throw my fucking burdens to you. It ended... In a bathroom stall. What the fuck was I thinking? Or was thinking even involved at all?

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Stop the War In the Middle East; we want peace? More likely Cheney looking for a palm to grease. We say we using up our natural resource, We got no other recourse. So under the shadow of war, We're fucking robbing the candy store. America... Land of the free, Home of the brave? In front of a plasma TV, Sits the cavernous knave. Wake up people, Cut the strings. We can still pray at the steeple, But listen close as the choir sings. Peace unto others, Even if their beliefs differ. This includes our Middle Eastern brothers, Providing our resolve is stiffer. So tell our elected officials, In one loud voice. Here comes the initials, S.T.W... don't give them a choice. You all know what to do, Shout in government's ear. I don't know about you, But my path is clear...

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I do not want, So I'll be standing naked next to Jesus. I shall not taunt, I'll be waiting till the Almighty frees us. So brothers and sisters, make no mistake about it... The Middle East isn't America the sequel, It's Armageddon the prequel.

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Bottom Feeder I feed from the bottom, Plankton’s nemesis. These teeth that have rotten, Bestow a dirty kiss. Dreams so forgotten, Lost within the mist. Lord, look what I've gotten… Why must I exist? I'm not self-loathing… Simply unloading. No time for self-loathing My chambers unloading... As death befalls the priest, I wipe these filthy hands. Not a care in the least; Sick; his sexual demands. Free now that he's deceased, I touch these swelling brands. In days they'll be decreased, Yet their presence stands… I'm not self-loathing, I think I'm exploding. Perhaps I'm self-loathing, Can't keep from exploding. I stumble on debris, Alone I am and bare. To you I am a flea, But this I so do swear… (continued…) 34 | P a g e

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Tomorrow's cold and empty; A tire without air. Life no longer tempts me, I simply do not care.

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The Devil in my PJ's... Woke up angry, mad; someone hit a raw nerve, I was on my way to church, decided to swerve. Took a detour; straight to the bar and lined up the 1-5-1; Rum flows through throat, hits stomach and I'm on the run... Sunday afternoon; drunk driving through the swell of the city, Damn electrolytes falling; already hung-over and feeling shitty. Alley cat bolts in the road as I near my angry destination … (Ain't his fault…) flip the car at 50mph; vehicular devastation. (Glass explodes) shards spray my face and cut my eye; When I get my hands on the bastard, he'll be wishing to die. Vegetius wrote: "Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum…" Tonight we escalate… I'll be a murderer; a wanted felon. Cause it’s a war we're in; a battle for supremacy… Disconnect the Governor; no extension of clemency. I'll be the current that evaporates the blood in your veins; When I'm done, they'll need a team of 20 to sift through remains. Heart’s pumping like a beat laid down by The Crystal Method, I don't need witnesses, so I got to pause this random crackhead… Creep in the building; I'm your assassin in waiting… Do I slice you ear to ear or plunge your chest; (hmmm) debating?

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This... Kicked my damn ass to write this, Fight this, Black and then white this! Now, here comes the damn twist… Do I hit this? Slit this? Pour some damn citrus, On an open wound for the world to see? Or do I cry insanity… Pray for serenity, Dip my dead head in the cold sea? Because my shit is on fire! A peaceful Buddhist liar, With dreams to aspire… Fucking paupers call upon me Sire! See, the Dalais' a Lama, Not your suckling Mama! Providing direction, But, you need introspection… South direction! "Oh, is that an erection?" I think I just got happy. Someone damn slap me, Think I made sense to a Pigmy… But the rest of ya'll quiet, Plasma TV diet! So why don't you try it? Grab hold of your destiny, See what the fuck you can see, Kill the mountain, save a tree! Your life is the acorn, Bathed is the soil scorn, By jackasses and misfits. Kicked my damn ass to write this, Fight this, Black and then white this! 37 | P a g e

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Dang’ole Love Last time I got bit - done fell in love; I ripped the wings off ornery butterflies, Varmints tried to shanghai me from above... Ain't ever gonna git bit - dango'ole love! Almost prescribed to the whims of a drug, But, I got a Still in the shed that pours less lies. Last time I got bit - done fell in love; I ripped the wings off ornery butterflies.

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Questioning Resolve at 6 a.m. Why can't I be the man that God wants me to be? A champion to the weak willed and shallow minded. Why can't the fog of ignorance lift so I may see… Just who exactly the man that God wants me to be? Must I remain the sinner; a child of perpetual glee, Or can the pain of the scars resurrect so I am reminded… That there is a man that God wants me to be, A champion to the weak willed and shallow minded.

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Blowing Kisses When I woke this morning, I blew you kisses, The breeze grew brutal and blew them back. Praying to fulfill one of my wishes; I woke this morning and blew you kisses… Always in vein; each one of them misses, Painting the edge of my heart a tint of black… Yet, when I wake tomorrow, I'll blow you kisses; And the breeze will grow brutal, blowing them back.

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Crash It's mainly when I'm angry that I feel this way; When my glass dreams been bricked; shattered. I get the notion that the world will rue the day; It's mainly when I'm angry that I feel this way. Twisted, conflicted; left side of my brain in disarray, The confidence I once wore lays ripped; tattered... It's mainly when I'm angry that I feel this way; When my glass dreams been bricked; shattered.

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Exhaustion and Rejuvenation The blood has not yet dried; I have been here before. I've failed though I tried, These wounds; they are raw! I have been here before… Bleeding sorrow for you. These wounds; they are raw; Not much more I can do. Bleeding sorrow for you, Exhaustion creeps and sets in! Not much more I can do, I've been the pawn of your sin. Exhaustion creeps and sets in… But, perhaps it's not too late. Though the pawn of your sin. I can fight; rise above hate. Yes, perhaps it's not too late, The blood has not yet dried; I can fight; rise above hate. I may fail, but I've tried.

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Thinking of You Are these tears, or is it rain, Falling into a lap of desolation? Is this fear or is it pain, Are these tears or is it rain, Will I ever love again? No, I haven't the foundation… Are these tears, or is it rain. Falling into a lap of desolation?

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Blue-Eyed Girl My spirits' soaked with alcohol; Been drinking bout a blue-eyed girl, Who is the wind; light to squall… My spirits' soaked with alcohol; I walk; trip and now I fall, In love with her; I start to swirl… My spirits' soaked with alcohol; Been drinking bout a blue-eyed girl.

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Dying Slowly Inside Angers Embrace Dying slowly inside angers embrace; The milk of its skin caresses my brow. From toast of the town to utter disgrace; Dying slowly inside angers embrace … Wisdom is lost; none remains, no trace; A sweet lullaby of evil silences my Tao… Dying slowly inside angers embrace; The milk of its skin caresses my brow.

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Playing Kickball with Wee Jesus and Baby Satan You best snag Jesus, cause I got dibs on Satan; He's a playground terror from the land down under. Ain't no time for crying, whining; straight playa' hatin'… You best snag Jesus, cause I got dibs on Satan. I called "dibs" in Homeroom, so there's no debatin'; Yo', he got a mean left leg that booms like thunder… You best snag Jesus, cause I got dibs on Satan; He's a playground terror from the land down under.

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Victim of God Pity me, as I am a victim of God! Smitten by ignorance; still, I endure. A shell of a man; a doddering sod… Pity me, as I am a victim of God. His World of creation a waning facade; Evil prevails as the course that is pure… Pity me, as I am a victim of God! Smitten by ignorance; still, I endure.

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Undeserving: A Message to Mommy Hello dearest Mommy… Do you remember who I am? It's your little boy Tommy. Once a boy, now a man I have persevered, My darkness reformed. The haze has cleared, A wounded heart warmed. Yet you're trapped in misery, Fighting bitterly for survival, In blindness you see, The world as your rival. Age has its hold on you now, As you wage war against tomorrow. There are lines on your brow… Precious beauty – victim of sorrow. The harm of words spoken, When your son wandered lost. His will they had broken, Causing hope to exhaust. In league with the dead, As my loathing grew. What was it you said? The comments untrue… "You will never amount to anything, You will always be a piece of shit." A barbed prophecy you no longer sing, A skewed logic to which I no longer submit.

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Family Sin Crimson fills the cracks of his knuckles… Raw from their visit of flesh and bone. Alive from torturous rapture; he chuckles. Crimson dries in the cracks of his knuckles… Weary from punishment, his boy buckles; His only sin, being born to this home. Crimson stains the cracks of his knuckles… Swollen from their visit of flesh and bone!

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At Sunrise Oh hear ye' harbingers of petulance, Gleeful Sayers of foreboding sorrow, Hapless killjoys of a world left to chance… Croon the praise of the coming tomorrow, Let laughter flutter as butterfly wings. Friend, my cup joy is yours to borrow… So you can see the hope our patience brings, And clasp the promise of life in your hands… Basking in songs the lovely blue bird sings. Oh dear brother; lay down your harsh demands, Join with me as we greet the sun anew… As it awakens those of hallowed lands.

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Unconsciousness Unconsciousness. The haze of hurt, A fateful bliss. A passing kiss... Her fatal flirt. Unconsciousness. What's left to miss? The edge I skirt... A fateful bliss. This warm abyss... I introvert! Unconsciousness... It's come to this, My souls inert... A fateful bliss. I reminisce, Then subvert... Unconsciousness, A fateful bliss.

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A Slit of the Wrist As darkness envelops a landscape dead to my eyes, The folly of man comes to mind as sunset glares. Years of pain and suffering; a torrent of empty lies, Therefore, I think… a slit of the wrist; no one cares. The folly of man comes to mind as sunset glares, His evil twists the sickened mind of an aging child. Oh yes, I think… a slit of the wrist; no one cares. An animal released from captivity into the dying wild. Sweet evil twists the sickened mind of an aging child, Perpetuating thoughts; carnal in a nature unbecoming. I am this animal, released from captivity into the dying wild… The tune in my head, I can't recognize; yet I'm humming. Perpetuating thoughts; carnal in a nature unbecoming, I set to ravage the light that God shone from the sky. Dreadful tune in my head, I can't recognize; yet I'm humming… How can someone remain so calm when they're about to die? Finally, darkness envelops the landscape of my dying eyes.

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Tenderness of Hand Grenades Tenderness of hand grenades, Exploding upon naked earth, Halts the marching of brigades. Shrapnel ends the mother's birth, Tears and blood flow in streams, Does her suffering have a worth? When the pain halts the screams, Her boy is dead, he won't be back, Though she'll see him in her dreams. Felled by angers swift attack, But did it have to be that way? American son; light to black. Gone from life's eternal day, Gone forever, now we pray.

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Polar Skies I find I become polarized, Gazing upon polar skies. Standing; somewhat mesmerized, I find I become polarized. Evaluating frosted lies, Of your cold disguise. I find I become polarized, Gazing upon polar skies.

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Filth Vein Leaning on a dirty needle, Veins await the pending evil. Cannot stop; attempts are feeble... Leaning on a dirty needle, Scrounging life as I lay fetal. The flow is fine; I'm in upheaval... Leaning on a dirty needle, Veins await the pending evil.

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Bleeding on the Floor of the World Wounded by her broken arrows, Bleeding on the floor of the world. I die in view of falling sparrows, Wounded by her broken arrows. Shortness as my breathing narrows, Her plague of sorrow is unfurled. Wounded by her broken arrows, Bleeding on the floor of the world.

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Snow Replaced the Sun A dream within a dream, Snow replaced the sun. A scream within a scream, It's fate I can't outrun. Snow replaced the sun, Dulling glory of its beam. Its fate I can't outrun, A sitcom with no theme. Dulling glory of its beam, A fool to what I've done. A sitcom with no theme, Why do I hold this gun? A fool to what I've done? Things are not what they seem. Why do I hold this gun? Who dreamt this awful scheme?

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Anatomy of a Victim I died a death so blimey cold, I died in youth and won't grow old. I died for no apparent reason, I died a victim; spiteful treason. A tear ran down my bloody cheek. My voice was fading; I could not speak. I saw my killer take his aim, A smile of venom; he played his game. I now ascend the trail to heaven, I miss my fellow earthly brethren. I'm greeted by His warm embrace, And the Lord wipes blood from my face.

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Capturing Sunshine Today I captured sunshine in my palms, I held it for the nighttime to light your way. It burned my flesh, but I had no qualms, I needed you here at the end of my day. I held it for the nighttime to light your way; A shining path from a single spark. I needed you here at the end of my day, So I had to guide you through the dark. A shining path from a single spark; What other choice did a lonely man have? So I had to guide you through the dark, I am incomplete without my better halve. What other choice did a lonely man have, But to capture sunshine in his palms? I am incomplete without my better halve, For you I burn my flesh; I have no qualms.

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Black Lake of Coal Look what I found on the way to my soul, It's pure and it's evil and ticks in time... A heart of darkness - black lake of coal. Insipid and weak; through this world do I troll, So deep in sin, I have merged with its grime. Look what I found on the way to my soul… Bruised piece of muscle which life has stole. Now I lie stricken, taken in my prime… A heart of darkness - black lake of coal. The beast within wrest decision control, Unleashing a fury he finds sublime. Look what I found on the way to my soul… Creature of Satan; halfway between whole, Nestled in lies and primordial slime… A heart of darkness - black lake of coal. No prayers of the living or tears can console, I give into death at the end of this rhyme. Look what I found on the way to my soul A heart of darkness - black lake of coal.

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I'm Drinking with Mel Torme As the Velvet Fog croons, "I Love in Vain" I pound a handle of Gin to end my day. Swigging with fury to relive the pain… As the Velvet Fog croons, "I Love in Vain." Your final words rattle a fragile brain… To a soundtrack provided by Mel Torme. As the Velvet Fog croons, "I Love in Vain" I pound a handle of Gin to end my day.

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Nowhere Now When I set to claim your breath, I knew I'd die a gruesome death. A stolen a kiss from precious lips… Nowhere now; cold eclipse. As I fade into your arms, So do they; my tempting charms. Pity toward a fool of lust… Nowhere now; flesh to dust. On this that be my judgment day, Nothing left, no peace to say. My actions tell the darkest tale, Nowhere now; simply sail… To molten depths; a sinner's home. Eternity a soul shall roam… Pondering misdeeds to you, Nowhere now, a fate I'm due.

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Walking through a Coma When walking through a coma, I get lost in the instant, Perhaps it's the aroma… Of the parchment of diploma, Gained by being persistent… When walking through a coma. Now, I run through this coma, Attempting to pass it in an instant, Yet I can't escape the aroma… Of the parchment of diploma, Gained by being persistent… When walking through a coma. So, I walk through this coma, Trapped within an instant, And all I smell is the aroma… Of the parchment of diploma, Gained by being persistent… When walking through a coma.

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Sharing a Laugh with Satan If Satan can't make you happy, Who will carry the torch? Though the Lord is scrappy, His inspiration lacks the scorch. Evil is a milkshake; thick and rich, Flowing through a straw slow as time. Mistakes; our divine bitch, Killing man; his burdensome crime. So why not accept deficiency? Take our flaws as strength. Oh, the dark efficiency, Trading short for length. Dipping ignorance in intelligence, A fondue of inconsistency. Perseverance taking prevalence, The only way, can't you see? So open your eyes to tomorrow, Darkness is the only light. Embrace the coming sorrow, Pay forward the righteous blight. Man can only take so much, Breaking upon its confusion. Compassion; this ghostly crutch, The Almighty's comedic intrusion!

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Whoring Kills a Happy Home When momma returns, she'll be crying, Early on Tuesday, in her Sunday best. Poppa's been drunk because of the lying, In strolls momma, high and barely dressed. Early on Tuesday, in her Sunday best, She stinks of sex and broken dreams. In strolls momma, high and barely dressed, Poppa can only imagine her screams. She stinks of sex and broken dreams, Her eyes are cold; her breath rotten. Poppa can only imagine her screams, Empty passion she's already forgotten.

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Disappointing People and the Misfits that Love Them I fucking hate to see a glimmer! A moment to make me crack a smile. In the end, the light is dimmer, I fucking hate to see a glimmer… A novice that could be a winner, However, lacks the pace to run the mile. I fucking hate to see a glimmer, A moment to make me crack a smile.

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Johnny's Prayer Dear God, I hear that you listen to all our prayers, It sure is good to know someone cares. I'm six years old and my name is Johnny, I have a sister, a daddy, and a mommy. We don't go to church no more, My parents says it's too much of a chore. But, I think something in my world is wrong, For my heart can't hear your song. Mommy drinks and sleeps on the couch, When I try to hug her, she acts like a grouch. She weeps and says that I'm a mistake, Grabs her glass and starts to shake. Daddy's mad and real mean, All he does is hit and scream. He lost his job a year ago, And says my sister's as pure as snow. Her eyes are as empty as my piggy bank, On her face she wears a stare so blank. I guess she must not be grown, Because Daddy never lets her sleep alone. I know kids in other countries have it worse, But life to me seems like a curse. God, please include me in your embrace, Clear these tears from my face.

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Oops' Retraction of the written word, More difficult than those heard. In repair and locomotive, The engine churns as it's devoted. Yet it can stop dead; simply halt, If we ignore the law - "grain of salt."

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My Walk Concludes These shoes contain the miles of my broken dreams, On these weary feet; so long it seems. I remember their newness and the promise they contained, Now through our travels; I feel drained. I recall our first steps of hope together, The visions of conquering the dreariest weather. But alas their soles have worn thin, From the disappointment there has been. There was love in New York and pain in LA, In Tallahassee we planned to stay, But a call from Chicago had us set sail, Then a horrible winter we had in Vail. All across America we have stepped, In the dankest of motels have we slept. The luster our country once gallantly held, Seems lost to the modernization that has swelled. No longer is Americana tasted in Truck Stop pies, No longer does hope flicker in our citizen’s eyes. We are a nation plugged into the future, Yet the wounds of the past still require a suture. Now there are holes in our sides from empty travel, The binding that once held us; unravel. From the call of the open road we shall retire, For it is the peace of home we now desire.

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Death of an Irishman Oh dear Smitty, my life's about to end, Goodbye my dearest, lovely friend. Don't rest your whiskey to cry for me, My brother, this is not a tragedy. I'm going home to drink in heaven, Where the Pubs are open 24-seven. The Lords got me soul; proprietary, So, this drunk won't rot in a cemetery. Yup, I'm on my way past Purgatory, Tis' a good thing cause my words are slurry. Smitty, here's to you; Erin Go' Bragh, When I'm done this sip I'll hit the flagh'.

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Drug Dealer Cost you smooth twenty-dollar cold cashish, Should you if'n wanna get at this Hashish. Flip it, roll it, hold it, smoke it; I don't care, Give me my damn money 'fore folks throw stare. I'm in business; I'm go'n win this; I got bills to pay, So finish this transaction for Five-O breaks way. Come on; let’s go; I got things; I got responsibilities, Can't waste time on junkies with financial instabilities! At home, I got a woman who will smoke my stash, If at six I don't show up; so yo' man, where's my cash?

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The Death of Catherine the Lowly Soon… Nothing. Dying… Slowly. Nothing, Matters. Slowly, Slipping. Matters… Fading. Slipping… Darkness Fading, Dying. Darkness… Soon.

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In My Rockin' Chair Drowning in the truth of a lie, Swimming in the air, I fly… Dreaming of the simpler days, Comforting - my younger ways. I was a man, a boy; a bear, a cub. Of lesser means, devoid of love. Yet a smile my face would always wear, When I walked the world without a care. Manufactured apathy, Tuned up to the Nth degree. Now I mourn the emptiness, It was my only happiness.

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Summertime Valentine She swore she'd love me till the sun went cold, Until my whiskers turned grey; and this man grew old. But the ways of women are often strange, And the love in her heart is prone to change. Her eyes will profess; her smile shall digress, It all is a days work as she plays lovers chess. Moving rook to king; the heavens sing, "It's to the love of a woman that all men cling." So this fool that I am wakes sans Valentine, Clinging only to the memory of a summertime. A long lost love who drew hearts in the sand, While all the time she held mine in her hand. Seems like forever ago that the sun was warm, Now it feels so cold as I grey; grow worn.

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St. Valentine’s Curse A poet spends his life in time… Pondering a verse; a lover's line. Mortal men seek a Valentine, Yet, a poet chases simple rhyme. Pondering a verse; a lovers line… He sits alone; in hand a wine. Chasing quick a simple rhyme… "Come to me, sweet love of mine!" He sits alone; in hand a wine. A poet spends his life in time! "Where are you sweet love of mine?" Still, mortal men seek a Valentine.

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Sleeping Down by the River Been up a hill that turned into a mountain, Drank a cup of ale; which turned into a fountain. It's done none to keep me warm; I now shiver, When… I sleep down by the river. Living life in desperation, Daily I stink of urination; (I've done the dandiest things to my liver!) Which is why… I sleep down by the river. As children do; I throw fits of rage, Trapped within this drunkard's cage. I look forward to my final quiver, Happily… I sleep down by the river.

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Invisible Souls Weak from toggling addictions... Gallons of ale to the needles embrace. The gambit of these afflictions, Divest the strongest of convictions... And all eyes elude the addicts face.

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Fallen from a Rainbow Fallen from a rainbow, Banished from its glow. I think it was the yellow, That decided to just let go... Of this my heavy soul. Crashing onto Terra, I thought perhaps it should be Firma... Because it acted as a pillow, Absorbing all the sorrow... Within a heavy soul. And it brought about a smile, If even for a while... A triumph of its own, In a life that is on loan… To this heavy soul. Then the rain clouds went away, And the daisies thought it wise to say… "We share in all your joy, The laughter of a boy..." Lightening this heavy soul. So, I raised to mine own feet, Inhaled love and all that's sweet. Began my meager steps, Intent on exiting the depths... Of this heavy soul.

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My Grandmother's Apron By the strings of my grandmother's apron, I learned to hold my breath and pray... For things will come as they come. By the strings of my grandmother's apron... I learned her wisdom; a gentle rule of thumb; "Patience is the sun that lights each day." By the strings of my grandmother's apron, I learned to hold my breath and pray...

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The Green Grove Sessions On a bench in Green Grove Park sat ole' Bones, People would comment, "The clothes on his back are all he owns." However, I knew his possessions better... He was artist of the highest fair, Creating lullabies with Gods own air. The harmonica; his passion, And folks, he played it in an almighty fashion. In between magic he'd speak lovingly of his "country bumpkin," Assuring me her Sunday catfish, "Sho' is somethin'." A twinkle in his eye as he'd set about a reminisce, Reliving the dreams captured with his little miss. I came each day as he held court, Gathered round were folks of diverse sort. The young, the old, the weak and weary, And though at times Bones would grow bleary... He would play! I still come to the bench in hopes I'm mistaken, But, by the good Lord he was taken. To see him sitting there, always my wish. My ears forever missing his music's kiss.

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Unravel Falling, Falling apart... My mind races! Can't see objects Just their traces... Eyes; welling, Heart; swelling. The neighbors can't stand my yelling. Today... I lied, I cried, 5 seconds ago, my will just died. Grabbed a pen, Some paper, Fucking crybaby... Broke down because of my 6th grade Kit-Kat caper. Dried my tears, Wrote out my Last Will and Testament. Not about the suicide, just needed to vent. Damn, Carmen Electra got me pitching a tent. Soaked my head in water, Thought about running to the Mexican border. Maybe grab a hostage, The Sheriff's daughter? Na, he has a gun, And while the chase; fun, He'd probably shoot me, I'm a worthless bum.

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Crawling out of my skin I don't know where to begin, Have I lost weight? Mom would say I'm too thin. My head won't stop pounding, In anguish I'm drowning. Someone throw me a rope, My face hurts from frowning...

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Victorious Suicide I have been many things in my life, I have hurt and I have lied. I am sorry for causing such strife, And am happy to have died. Through my years I was alone, Scared and unsure of my wicked ways. My actions atrocious whom none could condone, I reveled in the night and wasted my days. To those in my path, a steamroller I became, Clearing their resistance with indignation. I loved this merry game, My life of insubordination. I shouted my peace into the deaf ears of ignorance, Causing the infirm to tremble. To those in power, my fist waved in defiance, While their revenge they did assemble. Too many toes did I trample, Too many bells did I ring. I was made to be an example, Justice did the masses bring. Silenced and neutered I am, Battered and bruised have I become. Not the same as I began, Crushed under the might of society’s thumb. In defeat, I find surprise, As I truly feel that I am richer. Open now are my eyes, And clearer is the picture. (continued…) 83 | P a g e

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Tonight my evil shall wilt, Into the annals of history. My life will be rebuilt, In suicide; victory.

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Five AM Poem about Life It's a laugh, A smile. A touch, The walking of a mile. Not in the shoes of another, But those of my own. It's the embrace of a brother, The warmth of home. It's a sunset or rise, The glare in your eyes. The smell of a baby, Or the grandest surprise. It's the kiss of a puppy, The purr of a kitten. The splendor of a laugh, The first time smitten. It's a midday shower, The feeling of power. An ending of glory, Or the beginning of a story. The realization of a dream, The presentation of a challenge. The felling of equality, The smell of the sea. It's a risk, A taste. A sigh, A moment never to waste. (continued…) 85 | P a g e

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It's cumbersome, Yet light. Being loved by some, The rest; a fight. It's all these things, Plus a dash of strife. What I present to you, Is the gift of life.

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A Dream of the Grandest Splendor Last night I had a dream of the grandest splendor, Our armies laid down their arms and offered surrender. Not to governments or those in power, But to those who lurk in the shadows and often cower. There was peace here on earth, To a new humanity, we gave birth. Those who were ill were healed and well, Those who were lonely felt their hearts swell. The children left scared, cold and alone, All piled off the streets into the welcoming arms of an adoring home. Those we had lost communicated from beyond, Showing their love and unifying their bond. No one remained hungry or weak, And all who were silent stood to speak. A word they did not utter, but burst into song, How we survived our journey, which was both saddening and long. I awoke this morning with visions so vivid, When I found it was a dream, I was weary and livid. Although it not true these thoughts in my head, A seed they have planted and their message not dead. I will move forward to others and bring to them my dream, And no longer a memory this message will seem.

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Incarcerated Heart The bars that confine my heart glisten with rain, While emotions constrained, not true of the pain. Clouds follow as a ghost of our time together, It feels as though it will pour forever. My bailiff is Grief and he sits with glee, As I attempt to wrest my heart free. But my cell is well built; fortified, The floor now stained with the tears I have cried. How long must this sentence continue? Can my punishment receive a change venue? May I merely be sad and not broken hearted? Will I receive justice from the one who departed? Now I struggle through this condition, In this all too desolate prison. Painfully I wait for much-needed reprieve, So once again my love can breathe.

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A Boy in “Love” I fight to catch my boyish breath; Effortlessly, she steals it away. Now I am a man; moments from death. I fight to catch my boyish breath… Perpetual, her childish theft. Of innocence, she says her prey… I fight to catch my boyish breath; Effortlessly, she steals it away.

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Give me a Bottle and Three Minutes with God I'm doing all that one man can; A hallowed out American. We got people living in the streets, And same sex underneath the sheets... Screaming silently for revolution; Democratic retribution. And when CNN has it televised, Who will be the least surprised? So Dear Lord let’s sit and think, Raise the glass and share a drink… Our lives today are in dismay; Help me Father light their way…

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Tomorrow... No truer words have ever been spoken, To the bruised, battered and broken. To those who wield tears in their eyes, In support of the most damning lies. To the ones who cry in the night, Seeking their wrongs turned right. To those who call the streets their home, And wander the vastness of the world alone. To the children ignored by a selfish parent, Acting out through actions errant. "The trials of today prepare you for tomorrow; A life of wisdom leaves you free from sorrow."

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Waiting Crouched, hidden in the shadows it lies dormant. Waiting, debating when to emerge. It stalks its prey as would a starving lion that has been raved by the heat of the plains. Waiting, debating; its entire existence is predicated on living on through its prey. Deprived of nourishment it's driven to madness; thirsting for blood. No longer concerned with wrong from right; it only knows it must feed. Still, it's not foolish. It's guided by instinct. It realizes that timing is paramount. One folly and its hopes would be dashed in the instant of a passing summer breeze. Therefore, it lies in the shadows, waiting; debating for the right time to catch up with you. ... Ain't the past a bitch.

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PAJAMA

POET THOMFOX

T homa sF oxi st heCommuni t yOut r e a c hCoor di na t ora ndCur r i c ul um De v e l ope ra tCa mbr i dg e Cr e di tCouns e l i ngCor p. Ov e rt hel a s tde c a deheha sc r e a t e danumbe rof g ui de book s , DVDsa nd e duc aona lc ur r i c ul ade s i g ne dt oe duc a t ey oungpe opl ea ndl owi nc omei ndi v i dua l sa bout pe r s ona l fina nc e . Hei st hea ut horofbot ht heY oungAdul ta ndAdul te dionsoft heL e ar nNow orP ayL at e rs e r i e s( 1s ta nd2nde dions ) , a ndt heCambr i dgeGui det oCr e di t , De btandP e r s onal F i nanc e( 1s ta nd2nde dions ) .I na ddion,Mr .F oxc oa ut hor e dt heGoodP ay e r . c om Gui det o Cr e di t ,De btandP e r s onal F i nanc e ,a ndY ourF i nanc i al F ut ur e :Unde r s t andi ngCr e di t ,De bt ,and Pl anni ngf orT omor r ow.Mr .F oxa l s os e r v e sa sape r s ona lfina nc ec ol umni s tf orbot hT he F i r s t T i meHomeBuy e ra ndF uz ema g a z i ne s . Mr . F oxha sa l s oc ons ul t e dorc ont r i but e dt oanumbe rofpe r s ona l fina nc ei niav e s , i nc l udi ng t hefina nc euni tofS pr i ng fie l dPubl i cS c hoolS y s t e m’ sS c hool t oCar e e rc ur r i c ul um,t heL e ar n NoworP ayL at e rt e l e v i s i onpr og r a ma i r e dont heUMa s sAmhe r s tc a mpusc a bl es y s t e m, a swe l l a sNe tGai n, ahi g hs c hool fina nc i a l l i t e r a c ypr og r a mde s i g ne da ndope r a t e di npa r t ne r s hi pwi t h t heNa i s mi t hMe mor i a l Ba s k e t ba l l Ha l l ofF a mea ndUS AT ODAY . Dur i nghi st e nur ea tCa mbr i dg e ,Mr .F oxha sc onduc t e dpe r s ona lfina nc es e mi na r sf orawi de v a r i e t yofa udi e nc e sa c r os st hec ount r y ,i nc l udi nga ppe a r a nc e sa tAr i z onaS t a t eUni v e r s i t y ( T e mpe ) ,Ri de rUni v e r s i t y ,t he Uni v e r s i t y ofConne cc ut ,S pr i ng fie l d Col l e g e ,Ame r i c a n I nt e r naona l Col l e g e , We s t e r nNe wE ng l a ndCol l e g e , t heHa mps hi r eE duc aona l Col l a bor av e , a swe l l a st heE nfie l d,Chi c ope ea ndS pr i ng fie l dpubl i cs c hool s y s t e ms .Heha sa l s os e r v e da sa g ue s tl e c t ur e rf ort heBr uc eWe l l sS c hol arUpwar dBoundpr og r a ma tCl a r kUni v e r s i t y , a nda sa pa ne l i s tf orNi c hol sCol l e g e ’ sf or um ont heCy c l eofDe btI nAme r i c a,a ndf ort heCa l i f or ni a J umpS t a r tCoa l ion’ sI nnov av eF i nanc i al L i t e r ac yf orY out hc onf e r e nc e . Mr .F oxha sdona t e dhi s met of undr a i s i ngf orbot ht heMa s s a c hus e sS oc i e t yf ort he Pr e v e n onofCr ue l t yt oChi l dr e na ndt heUni t e dWa y .I n2005,hewa si nv i t e dt obe c omea me mbe roft heBoa r dofDi r e c t or sofDr e a m, Be l i e v e , Ac hi e v e , al oc a l nonpr ofita g e nc ywhos e mi s s i oni st opr ov i dee duc aona lpr og r a mst oy oungpe opl ewhor e s i dewi t hf os t e rpa r e nt s , g ua r di a ns ,orwho l i v e on t he i rown. Re c e nt l y ,Mr .F ox be g a nv ol unt e e r i ng f ort he Ma s s a c hus e sS t a t eS c hol a r sI niav e , he l pi ngmo v a t es t ude nt st oc ompl e t eamor er i g or ous c our s eofs t udyi nhi g hs c hool s ot he yma ybebe e rpr e pa r e df orc ol l e g e . Hi se ffor t se a r ne d hi ma ni nv i t aont of ur t he rs e r v es t ude nt sbybe c omi ngame mbe roft heDr opout / Gr adua on Rat eT as kF or c ef ort heChi c ope ePubl i cS c hool S y s t e m.