Learn To Forgive

The greatest hindrance to answered prayer Mark 11:25 “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

"But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done." (Matthew 6:15) 1. Key to good mental health A key to good mental health is the ability to handle hostile feelings. We don't forgive just to obey God's commands. We forgive in order to be happy because we benefit the most. Naturally we can't be forgiving toward others unless we can be forgiving toward ourselves. Some harbour grudges, roasting them over coals of bitterness and self-pity until they have appetites for little else.

2. Christ on the cross is the supreme example of forgiveness (Luke 23:34). Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do

The scriptures abound with commands to forgive our fellowman (Matthew 5:39; “…That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

Colossians 3:13). “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye”

If we don't forgive others, neither will God forgive our wrongs (Matthew 6:15); and we are ALL sinners (1John 1:8). "He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself" (George Herbert). The parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:23-25 teaches the necessity of forgiveness if we hope to be forgiven. 3. Forgiveness is the epitome of love and is impossible without it.

Anyone can love those who are nice to him. Loving those who have wronged him is a different matter. When we forgive, we forget

because REMEMBERED FORGIVENESS RE-INFECTS THE WOUND. We should treat forgiveness as a cancelled note: tear it up and burn it. RESENTMENT comes from two Latin words ("re" meaning back and "sentire" meaning to feel). It is reliving or feeling previous emotions. A wound must be thoroughly cleansed of resentment if it should heal properly. In reality, resentment hurts the one who feels it.

4. When it hurts so bad can we forgive?

When a person who has hurt us comes in humble penitence, begging for forgiveness for his wrongs, the proper feelings on our part are not too difficult to evoke. When we have been hurt so deeply and the one who offended us is either indifferent or refuses to admit his transgressions, we STILL must forgive. (Note the example of Christ on the cross.)

We forgive others, not for what they are, but for what we are (Christians). And we are not paragons of self-righteous mercy who sit high and mighty on our thrones, charitably bestowing our forgiveness upon those who have hurt us much as king grants pardon to his lowly subjects.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep that all our rational powers will notCANNOT-call forth complete forgiveness. Oh, we may intellectually forgive with the part which we can control; but sometimes the hurt is so very deep that the conscious part of our minds simply cannot penetrate the core of our beings – that part which reacts instinctively instead of reasoning. 5. What if a loved one hurt us? Quite often “reflective hurt” lies deep within not because someone has wronged US but one of our loved ones. Forgiveness in such an instance is a SUPREME TEST of our true Christianity. Although we may forgive with our rational powers, the injured part of our beings, down deep inside, simply will not surrender. It is at a time such as this (when we want to forgive but cannot) that we must cast ourselves upon the grace of God, begging for His help in creating within us a new heart and renewing the right spirit (Psalm 51:10). “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me”

When we reach the nadir of our own ability and throw ourselves at the feet of God for His mercy, realising that we are sinners just as much as the one who has wronged us or our loved ones because WE are unable to forgive, we CAN achieve previously unattainable strength forgiveness in such an instance is a crowning achievement of our Christianity. Our human natures stand as roadblocks in doing what our minds have been conditioned to do through His word. When we reach the point that we realise that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41), we can cry unto God: “Father, I want to forgive but I can’t. Please help me.” Then we achieve real strength because we know that forgiveness does not come entirely through our own will or might but because we are aware of our inadequacies and throw ourselves at the mercy of God. “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2Corinthians 12:10).