Running head: THEORY OF CHANGE
Theory of Change ECD 530: Dr. Childs North Carolina State University Abigail Laiewski
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Introduction “Change is good,” Rafiki said to Simba. “Yeah, but it’s not easy,” Simba replied (The Lion King, 2003). Even in the sphere of cartoon jungle animals, change is acknowledged as something quite complex that requires time and effort. Change is a part of human existence that every individual faces, and is often something that individuals need to bring about themselves. It can be a humbling experience to admit that things need to change, and is no doubt a feat within itself. Whether it be removing oneself from a toxic relationship, being timelier, or dealing with any other form of dysfunction that appears, it is easier to commit to and succeed in bringing about change when there is a support system, such as the family, involved as well. In conjunction, the family could be the source of the dysfunction just as well. It is up to the individual to determine the healthy, as well as the negative portions of their life and make the changes that are necessary in order to create a safe and satisfactory lifetime. This paper will further examine my views on how individuals change, and how important the family system is as a whole, within the process of changing, as well as how I as a counselor can contribute as an agent of change. Basic Philosophy of Human Functioning and Relationships Through my experience in working with social services, I have learned more so than ever that the individual cannot be understood simply as one solitary being, but instead as a familial unit. Human functioning and relationships are greatly impacted by one’s environment, relationships with their immediate and extended family, generational patterns, quality of communication with in the family and the level of support and
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participation that exists within the family. The way in which these elements exist in one’s life has an affect on all aspects of one’s present, as well as their future. I believe that the interactions individuals have with family members throughout their upbringing, as well as the beliefs and values that they are taught all their lives, strongly influences behavior. Not only are families responsible for providing the basic human needs of food, water, and shelter, but they are also held accountable in teaching the younger generations how to behave appropriately in a multitude of situations, as well as how to love, hate, and treat others. If one is raised in a family in which communication is kept strong and beneficial, they are more likely to continue to be good communicators throughout their life time, past the age of living in the home. This is due to the fact that this is something the individual has been raised to believe is right, and is likely a personality trait that has benefitted them as well, so there is no sense in changing it. On the other hand, if an individual is raised in a family in which it is deemed appropriate and efficient to physically abuse one’s children, unless there has been a third party intervention, this cycle is likely to continue throughout future generations. Essentially, I believe strongly in the influence of one’s environment, as it is something they are submerged in, on a long-term basis. Similar to the way in which behaviors can be a learned and continued behavior, elements of the lifestyle like religion, traditions and culture are born from the family system. While it is difficult to place sole blame on what a person does on their past, so much is learned within crucial stages of child development, and many habits and opinions simply become a way of life. According to Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development, children are learning that adults and the world can be trusted, or not before
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the age of two. In this first stage, infants are unsure what is occurring in the world around them, should their care be erratic or unreliable, this could result in the development of children’s feelings of mistrust, as well as even anxiety and fretfulness. In the next stage of child development, children are developing skills of independence and self-awareness. Should this stage not be aided, children may become doubtful in their own abilities, and insecure. The following stage entails the child interacting with other children, partaking in games and play and even leading activities. Should the child not develop correctly throughout this stage, guilt and a lack of sense of purpose may cultivate. The next stage allots the child to develop a sense of accomplishment through their achievements. In the poor development of this stage, children may develop a sense of inferiority. While there are four more stages of development, these first four occur all before the age of twelve, before a child even enters into high school. Meaning, that a poor family environment at a young age could cause detrimental and lasting effects on a child, which could continue on into adulthood (Erikson, 1980). I believe that this greatly supports the idea that what occurs even at the youngest age, can negatively impact an individual and begin a cycle of insecurities and dysfunction that will need to eventually become resolved, or the family system as a whole will continually be dysfunctional within itself, or could continue to cause dysfunction specifically for one individual throughout their life time. There are the stereotypical cases of “mommy issues” or “daddy issues”, which are uneducated ways of saying that one did not have a healthy relationship with one of their parents, and it has impacted the way in which they function in other relationships with males or females. While I feel as though this concept can come across as ignorant at times, there is some truth to it as well. Once a
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behavior or relationship has been established and maintained in a negative way for so long, it is difficult for that to be changed, as it is now a habitual way of life. Dysfunction Dysfunction occurs when there is an existence of conflict, misbehavior or even abuse in one’s life. Since the family has such a strong influence on one’s behavior, I believe the family is capable of creating dysfunction as well. Families that are experiencing dysfunction may experience poor communication, and may talk about each other behind their backs, as opposed to addressing issues directly. There may pressure for perfectionism or control, as well as excessive criticism from parents onto their children. In a more severe situation, families may experience dysfunction in the form of substance or alcohol abuse, divorce or estrangement. I think that these forms of dysfunction can only be created by families, and are strong and powerful form of dysfunction that impact individuals greatly, thus creating dysfunction in the individual themselves. In families in which abuse occurs victims may experience feelings of guilt, shame, pain, mistrust, etc. towards their perpetrators. The perpetrators of the abuse may feel pride and power, or they may feel guilt and remorse. These acts, as well as the emotions that accompany them, are not healthy for any person to endure, and will have lasting effects on the individual, as well as the family as a whole. The interactions of these dysfunctional elements impact the relationships that exist among the family system. How I Think People Change I think that the greatest move one can make towards change is the desire to change. You cannot force someone to change, especially if they are comfortable in the situation they are in, and are unwilling. The first decision that a person has to make is
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whether or not this change is something they want to do, or not. I think that once someone decides to change, and they are motivated to do so, they must make a conscious effort to make the moves that they need to in order to create the welcomed differences that they are looking for. Similarly, if it is the family as a whole that needs to make changes, the family as a whole, or at least as a majority, needs to decide whether or not they are motivated or willing to take the necessary steps towards healthy changes. This takes a lot of self-reflection and awareness to admit and acknowledge. Change occurs when the individual dedicates himself or herself to doing something new or different for an extended period of time. Whether that means a change in social circle, change in environment or a change in routine, the individual or family must actively alter their world. Individuals and families should set goals, even if they are small ones, in order to keep themselves on track. Individuals and families should also accept and celebrate victories of any size and significance, as to keep themselves aware that progress is being made. Individuals and families may also invest money into things that could help them change, such as a counselor or a gym membership, as there are individuals who are more likely to commit to something when their money has been spent. What it Takes For Long-Lasting Change to Occur In order for true, long lasting behavioral change to occur, one must be motivated, consistent, and supported by those around them. Individuals and families must make an effort to hold themselves, as well as each other, accountable. Individuals must become aware of their destructive patterns, as to identify where the change must occur, and take ownership of their own feelings and emotions, in relation to the way that they make
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others feel. In validating one’s own feelings, as well as the feelings of others, they are more likely to feel comfortable and confident in continuing to be open to consistently contributing to change. As stated, I think it will be important to acknowledge the smallest accomplishments, however in terms of creating long-lasting change, I feel as though it will be just as important, if not more so, for individuals and families to display patience. While it can be frustrating to feel as though no progress has been made, one cannot get discouraged, as this can be a trigger for halting the process. While there may be triggers that derail the process, it will be important for clients to identify these triggers as they appear, and develop ways to manage them and get back on track. Establishing the awareness that it takes to identify these triggers, and acknowledging that awareness, is in itself a strength that can promote long-lasting change. How I See Myself as an Agent of Change My role as the counselor, in promoting change in my client, would be to focus on challenging my client and consistently supporting the by encouraging the change that they are looking for. In clients who truly want to change and have the motivation to do so, I believe that it would be a collaborative effort to develop a vision and a plan, as well as being that support and encouragement for the client while they go out and do. I believe that I should work together with my client to develop a vision and a plan, because there are likely to be clients with circumstances in which what they are wanting is not what they are needing, and it is my job as the counselor to assist them in achieving change in a positive manner. As the plan is developed and the client is able to go out into the world and pursue the vision and plan we have discussed, they would be able to come back to me
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and debrief, and let me know what worked, what did not work and how they felt during that time, in order for us to determine progress. I feel as though my stance as the counselor would be more active than passive. I believe that I would like to be highly involved in what my client is doing, and truly have a collaborative experience in order to alter the dysfunction that the client has expressed as a concern, and advise and direct the client in order to diminish the issues at hand as best as we can. I would like to ask my client questions and address any areas of concern directly, rather than avoid them, and encourage my client to look deep within themselves to bring out the utmost honesty throughout our sessions. In order for this to occur and be successful, this will require time, and the development of a high quality counselor-client relationship. According to Direnfeld (n.d.), clients who are looking to change current conditions of dysfunction, as opposed to long-term emotional encouragement, benefit most from active approaches to counseling. I certainly think that this falls in line with the approach that I am interested in. I would identify the current dysfunction that they have expressed to me and attempt to interrupt it by emphasizing the problematic progression and behavioral patterns they are facing, and work with them to replace these with healthier alternatives. I would continue to actively address their highest concerns, and work through and develop ways in which they can alleviate these concerns with more positive behaviors. I see myself being able to help my clients successfully, in that I have always prided myself on being able to look past my own experiences and biases in situations of conflict, and give ample time to view all sides of a scenario before making decisions toward moving forward. I do not believe it to be beneficial to develop a plan of action
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until all of the information regarding a situation has been received, acknowledged, and examined. While it is very beneficial to have individuals in your environment supporting your life decisions and offering up advice when needed, a counselor is professionally geared toward supporting their clients and their needs over anyone and anything else. Counselors make their clients a priority, and focus on them entirely throughout their sessions together, not allowing other outside distractions. A counselor is trained to look past their own feelings and biases, and does not have judgment to cast on any past decisions or embarrassing moments that the client may have had. A counselor is focused on who the client is in the present, and how that is going to impact their daily life, and on into the future. While there is a chance that a client may have an attentive and seemingly unbiased friend who they could go to for advice, it is highly unlikely that this friend would be able to come from an unprejudiced place when trying to help. It is never possible to one to know what the motives of others are, and where their true emotions lie. In this way, a counselor is professionally trained to not allow other outside elements interfere with their work with their clients, and only see the client as a client and nothing more. Family Systems Theory Within families, individuals discover who they are, they develop and they change. Through family systems, individuals give and receive the support needed as human beings in order to survive. In the family system, individuals live by specific rules and routines that are aimed to keep all individuals within the system functional. As counselors, clients can be best understood by assessing the interactions and relationships the client has with and among their family members. The behavior, functionality, distress
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and successes of one individual within the system impacts all other individuals within the system, as well as the system as a whole. (Corey, 2017) Each family system is made up of a web of relationships between each and every family member. The way in which these individuals communicate, interact, develop and feel towards one another, impacts each member of the system. Depending on the tightness of the family system, dysfunction between one relationship in the system could cause greater dysfunction between all other individuals and relationships in the system, or it could remain unbothered. The way in which relationships function within a family system are likely carried on as a pattern throughout future generations, and take effort and motivation to change when an unhealthy relationship, or patter of relationships, is occurring. In observing human behavior and why an individual is doing what it is they are doing, counselors using family systems theory may explore the quality of current family relationships, as well as search through the history of the family in order to locate patterns of behaviors, diagnoses, or quality of functioning. (Corey, 2017) Along with the different relationships in the family, each member of the system has a role they play as well. Whether they are the peace-keepers, leaders, or instigators, each member has their own important role to play. Motivation in regards to the family systems theory is complex, due to the fact that all facets of the family system must be willing and motivated to bring about change in their lives. It is simply not enough for one person to carry the weight of the family. Contrarily, the weight of the family could also be what is weighing the individual down, as they are the negative energy that the individual is trying to escape. Because family systems theory is based on a system of
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reciprocity, change can only be achieved if and when present members participate and remain motivated to do so. (Corey, 2017) (Perelli, 2018) Because the client is connected to a living system, not only working with the family as a whole, but also considering all of the elements and patterns within the family best aid attempts at change for the client. as the counselor, one is unable to accurately assess the distress of a client without also observing the interactions they have with their family, and vice versa. As the distress of the individual is greatly connected to the interactions they have with their family, throughout the system entirely. In order to change an individual’s behaivior, there must be an awareness of how that individual’s choices are impacted by not only current, but also past family behaviors. Some families are constantly and consistently changing and evolving, while others remain the same for generations at a time. In order for long-lasting change to occur, not only does the individual need to be cooperative and involved, but the family as a whole needs to decide to participate in the familial change, or support the individual in their own personal change, depending on the situation at hand. Within the journey of bringing about change, the only limit that the family has is within the resources available to them within the system, as well as around them. (Corey, 2017) (Perelli, 2018) The dysfunction that a client is facing may be an indicator of how the family system functions. A client’s problematic behavior may be unconsciously supported by the family system. Insight into the family’s inability to operate effectively is also a sign of the existence of dysfunctional patterns that have been passed down through generations. According to the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family (2018), common
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dysfunctions that occur within the family system include feelings of distance or disconnection from one’s family. (Ariel, 1987) The role of the counselor in family systems theory is to observe how each individual interacts within and among the family system as a whole, as well as to examine and resolve the issues that arise as well as to guide their clients through crises, problematic or behavioral problems, and emphasize current relationships and dynamics. The stance of the counselor in family systems theory is that of a collaborative process, however the counselor is viewed as the expert. The counselor is responsible for making change occur in their clients. Promoting and encouraging change as the counselor requires planning, as well as the family at hand’s participation. Popular techniques used by counselors and family systems theory may be enactments or assignments of tasks. (Corey, 2017) (Minuchin & Fishman, 2009) Connection Between Thoughts and Theory Family systems theory states that individuals live by specific rules and routines in order to keep that system functioning well. In my opinion, families are the first to teach basic life lessons and skills, and what it means to be right and wrong, as well as how familial relationships should function. Individuals learn from their families what religions should be followed, how to live a certain lifestyle, and how to function in society appropriately, based off of what has been taught. Relationships within the family system are plenty, and interact and intertwine amongst each other in different ways. The flow or congestion of communication will determine the quality of functioning in a family. If there is not much communication going on, the more dysfunction there may be, due to a lack of keeping everyone informed
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or having kept people in the dark regarding a secret or an important piece of information. One’s role in the family system is just as important as the relationships established. Within my own family, it is easy to pick out who is responsible for keeping the peace, and who can be an instigator. I believe that because of the importance these roles play, they greatly influence the relationships themselves, and how the family interacts with one another. For example, if one is aware that one individual is an instigator and enjoys starting arguments and creating drama, one would likely not provide them with any secretive information and would likely be very cautious around them. Motivation within the family unit can be difficult to maintain if all components of the system are not present or consistent. If one portion of the system is dragging along in making change or willingness to work with the other members, it can be hard to maintain motivation when it feels as though one are also carrying the weight of others, along with their own. I agree that it would be more cohesive for a family to initiate change and commit to making that change together. Even if one component of the family refuses to be involved, there is still a chance that change can occur, but it is not as easy. In my current position working with foster children and their families, many a time the whole family is able to get on board and work together as a unit to better their environment and become able to live together as one. I have seen extended family drop everything to come to aid their children and grandchildren, and I have witnessed unconditional love and support. There have also been circumstances in which a mother is willing to do all that she can, and has her family behind her, but the father is not wanting to participate or be involved in anyway, thus dragging the mother down. It is challenging for the mother to move
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forward and prove that her children should be returned to her care, however she is experiencing the encouragement and assistance that she needs from other facets of her family system, therefore she may be able to do what she needs to do in order to eliminate dysfunction. I agree wholeheartedly that the family system influences the functioning of the individual, in that the family’s dysfunction can cause unhealthy functioning for the individual. In working with foster children it is apparent throughout interaction with the children, as well as researching their school records, that there is a correlation between stress in the family and the quality of their schoolwork. Whether it is a lack of ability to focus, lack of healthy sleep, or lack of ability to attend school at all, it can be seen that student’s behavior in school as well as their grades struggle when the family is not functioning at it’s best. Once the family has worked together to better themselves as one living organism, the student is better able to focus on school when in school, and does not need to bring the home or family into other environments. The role of the counselor in family systems theory involves observing the individual in the context of their familial relationships, as well as the family system as a whole. I think that many times there are a lot of answers to an individuals struggles hidden in the family system. In examining how this would work in the school system, I as the school counselor would need to identify the students needs and incorporate the student’s parents, grandparents or guardians into future planning, as well as examining the family’s methods of communication to determine what would be the best approach in effectively working with them long term. If the student were struggling, I could investigate further as to what life is like outside of the school setting, and use this
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information to decide how this is impacting the student’s functioning in school, as well as in life. The stance of the counselor in using family systems theory is the stance of being the expert and being in charge of bringing about change in their clients. I feel as though I could grow more comfortable with this throughout time, as it is a huge responsibility to hold such authority in the relationship between client and counselor. At the same time, I recognize that within use of planning and promoting participation within the family system and it’s individuals, it will really feel more like a collaborative effort than a one sided relationship. Illnesses, Diagnoses, and Dynamics According to Brown (2008), family systems theory is an effective approach for any concern or change that occurs within the system. This could include divorce, death, the addition of a family member, relocation, and multiple other alterations to the immediate system. Not only does family systems theory help the system as a whole, but it is also effective among couples and individuals. These may initially appear to be tough situations and circumstances for an individual, however these greatly impact the family as a whole. In regards to divorce, not only is there a separation between the couple, but there are children who’s home environments are changing dramatically, in-laws who have to learn how to establish new relationships, and even pets who have to be relocated. Death impacts each individual who had a relationship with the deceased individual. Members of that family system have lost a father, mother, son, daughter, etc., and now have to cope with that feeling of loss, as well as how to overcome it and move forward in their lives without that person. Having a child, adopting a child or even a marriage in a family requires all members of the family system to adjust and acclimate to accept this
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new member of the system and learn how to integrate this new member into their family life, whether it is their daily life or just holiday seasons and special occasions. Relocation in a family creates many new opportunities for each member of the family that has experienced the move, but also requires the members of the system to cope with the losses of the jobs, schools, friends, and general environment that they were once used to and familiar with. If a family is relocated due to a parent getting a new job, there is a chance that another member did not agree with this move, or that a member is struggling to cope with the new lifestyle they are living. Family systems theory can be beneficial in working with individuals and families struggling with substance abuse, bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and personality disorders, as these diagnoses not only impact the individual, but those surrounding them as well (Corey, 2017). Poor mental health in one member of the family system often requires support from other members of the family system. There can be situations in which the suffering member does not recognize the problem at hand, and needs intervention from those close to them in order to receive the help they need. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, family therapy is very helpful in giving families an awareness of their own needs, improving communication, and helping the family accept accountability when a member is struggling with issues, such as substance abuse. While the member who is struggling may feel other emotions, the other members may experience feelings such as guilt, concern, anger, embarrassment, etc. that all need to be acknowledged and discussed. Similarly, it is beneficial for families with a member who has a severe medical condition. Medical concerns, such as cancer, require the family to work together to best
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assist the patient in receiving adequate medical care in the hospital and in the home, as well as deal with the psychological impacts that a condition like this may have on one’s psyche. It is also likely that other members in this family may experience feelings of denial, guilt, fear, depression, etc (Erker, et al., 2018). Strengths of Family Systems Theory One of the biggest assets to family systems theory is that there is never any blame placed on one particular individual, but rather the family as a whole needs to take accountability for the dysfunction occurring. This negatives the ability for a family system to use an individual as a scapegoat, and the entire family has the opportunity to assess the patterns that occur within their system, as well as the perspectives of each member of the system. This is a strength because no person has to face guilt alone for the weakness of the family system altogether, allowing the family to come together and face their issues as a unit, as opposed to it’s separate parts. (Corey, 2017) As opposed to individual counseling, family systems theory also allows each individual part of the family to participate in the evaluation, as well as be involved in developing solutions that can lead to the needed change. While it is possible to an individual to speak about their family in one-on-one sessions and try their best to represent the day-to-day experience of what it is like to belong in that particular family system, it is much more beneficial for the counselor to see the interactions firsthand in order to conduct an appropriate and accurate evaluation. This further allows the counselor to observe the relationships, communication, and quality of functioning directly, and begin the process of evaluating and divulging the issue at hand in an honest and fashion. The counselor is able to act as a facilitator during the sessions, so that there is a third-
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party individual involved who can steer the conversation and guide the session in the direction that it needs to be going in, in order to be the most productive. This is a strength because no particular family member is in control, and each individual is treated in the same manner. The counselor is able to look at the family system from an outside perspective and observe what the problematic symptom truly is, and address it in a nonconfrontational manner. In addition, the counselor is able to facilitate any confrontation that may be necessary, between family members, so that it does not end up coming across as aggressive or hostile. Limitations of Family Systems Theory A weakness of family systems theory is the loss of a “personal perspective” from the client, because there is so much emphasis on the family as a whole (Corey, 2017). According to Corey (2017) some approaches to using family systems theory had very little concern for functioning of the individual, as long as the family system’s functioning had improved. This is a flaw with the theory because while the quality of the family system as a whole is of the most importance, the individuals’ quality of well-being is just as important. A family system cannot function well unless the individuals are also functioning well. Another concern with family systems theory is that it is focused on being “rational and objective in relation to the emotional process” (Brown, 1999). As opposed to looking at the expression of one’s emotions and feelings, the theory looks more at learning about the emotions and feelings of others. While it is a great thing for individuals to acknowledge how others are feeling, it is even more beneficial to have an
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understanding of those emotions. This allows individuals to relate to one another on a deeper level. (Brown, 1999) Conclusion In targeting the family system as a while, I believe that change can occur in the individual, as well as the family. This paper discussed the importance of family by initially discussing my own thoughts as to why and how people change, along with further insight in to the theory behind the family system to support it. While it can be helpful to seek counseling alone, it can be even more beneficial to be assessed from a family standpoint in order for true and lasting change to occur.
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Based on TIP 39: Substance abuse treatment and family therapy. (2005). Rockville, MD: Department of Health and Human Services. Brown, J. (1999). Bowen Family Systems Theory and Practice: Illustration and Critique. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 20(2), 94-103. Brown, J. (2008). Is Bowen Theory Still Relevant in the Family Therapy Field: A discussion of common challenges and confusion about the usefulness of Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Approach. Journal of the Counsellors and Psychotherapists Association of NSW Inc, (3), 11-17. Corey, G. (2017). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy, Tenth Edition. Boston, Massachusetts: Cengage Learning. Direnfeld, G. (n.d.). Active or Passive Counseling? Retrieved from http://www.yoursocialworker.com/p-articles/active-passive.pdf Erker, C., Yan, K., Zhang, L., Bingen, K., Flynn, K., & Panepinto, J. (2018). Impact of pediatric cancer on family relationships. Cancer Medicine, 7(5), 1680-1688. Erikson, E (1980) Identity and the Life Cycle. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. Minuchin, S., & Fishman, H. C. (2009). Family Therapy Techniques. Cambridge: Harvard University Press. Perelli, R. J. (2018). History of Family Systems Theory. Retrieved from http://www.familysystemstheory.org/history/