Journey Into Better Relationship - Master Your Anger

Journey Into Better Relationship How to Master your Anger I Corinthians 13:5c

Anger People always say that they can’t master anger because I’m just like my dad; I have a short fuse,, or I can’t help getting angry; God made me that way.  We didn’t inherit our anger and God didn’t create us with it; we learned it from someone.  We can control our anger whether we will admit it or not. 

Anger cont.  Example

of controlling our anger

– You have a disagreement with someone, using loud, harsh words and the telephone rings? You change to a soft, nice voice and answers “Helloooo”. – Proverbs 16:32 reads “He who is slow to anger is better than the might. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes the city.

Three Words that describe “Anger” Parorgismos (par-org-is-mos) means to be provoked because of an offense or to be angry with an offender.  Thumos (thoo-mus) refers to an uncontrolled outburst of blazing anger.  Orge (Or-ge) is less sudden in its rise but more lasting in its nature. It is a controlled anger which is also called “righteous indignation” or “ holy anger”. 

Easily angered The word translated “easily angered” in 1 Corinthians 13:5 refers to being provoked by an offense or being angry with people.  The reason we should never get angry with people is that we cannot love them and be angry with them at the same time.  Anger is almost always the first thing that must be dealt with before relationship problems can improved. 

THREE THINGS WE MUST DO  We

must confess our anger  We must consider the consequences of our anger  We must concentrate on the cause of our anger.

We must confess our anger  We

need to stop denying and making excuses for our anger and admit that ANGER IS SIN. – We must admit we have a problem – Our anger is usually vented on those we love most.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back

Confess our anger cont. Proverbs 29:11 means if you are in the habit of losing your temper, you’re foolish.  Anger is temporary insanity.  David has to confess in 2 Samuel 12:13a…I have sinned against God.  We must confess our anger and admit that we have sinned against God.  James 5:16a tell i\us to Confess your trespass to one another. 

Consider the consequences  When

we are angry, we will make the greatest speech we will ever regret.  Our anger gets us into all kinds of problems.  Proverbs 29:22 – An angry man stirs up strife; and a furious man abounds in transgression

Consider the consequences cont. Whenever we lose our temper, we lose in our relationship  We can lose our spouse, families, best friends, or our jobs.  When we lose our temper, we always lose.  Remember the advice given to us when we were children….count to 10 before you speak or do anything in anger. 

Cause of our anger  Proverbs

15:1

– A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger

Never let harsh, angry words come out of your mouth and you won’t be guilty of immediately inflaming the problem by stirring up someone else’s anger.

Cause of our anger Anger is not a primary emotion or root problem.  We respond in anger when we are hurt, frustrated or fearful (being threatened)  Three things to ask yourself 

– – –

Why am I angry Am I hurt, frustrated or fearful What am I feeling hurt, frustrated or fearful

Cause of our anger  Proverbs

14:29 – He who is slow to wrath has great understanding; but he who is impulsive exalts folly.

Cause of our anger  Jesus

wants us to master or anger by replacing it with love  John 13:34 – That we love one another; as I have loved you. – John 14:15

If you love me, keep my commandments