Jokes

question:what is the full form of maths. anwser: mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

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teacher : now children , if i saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would i be showing ? student : brotherly love

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teacher :because of gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th august. student:a holiday

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teacher :tomorrow there will be a lecture on sun.everyone must attend it. raju:no ma'm! i will not be able to attend it. teacher :why? raju:my mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

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teacher:"can anyone give me an example of coincidence?" johnny:"sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

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teacher: how old is ur father. sunny:as old as i am. teacher:how is it possible? sunny:he became father only after i was born.

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teacher:there is a frog,ship is sinking,potatoes cost rs 3/kg .then,what is my age? student:32 yrs. teacher:how do you know? student:well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

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teacher: where does god live? little boy: i think he lives in our bathroom. teacher: why do you say that? little boy: well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'god, are you still in there?'

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teacher:"what is your name?". student:"mera naam suraj prakash hai." teacher:"when i ask aquestion in english,answer it in english." student:"my name is sunlight."

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these are answers, some students have written in > their exams... >

> * a vibration is a motion that cannot make up its > mind which way it wants > to go. >

> * the tides are a fight between the earth and moon. > all water tends

> towards the moon, because there is no water in the > moon, and nature abhors > a vacuum. i

> forget where the sun joins in this fight. >

> * when you breathe, you inspire. when you do not > breathe, you expire. >

> * many dead animals in the past changed to fossils > while others preferred > to be oil. >

> * clouds are high flying fogs. >

> * i am not sure how clouds get formed. but the > clouds know how to do it,

> and that is the important thing. >

> * clouds just keep circling the earth around and > around. and around. there

> is not much else to do. >

> * cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a > dogs tongue will kill > the strongest man. >

> * thunder is a rich source of loudness. >

> * "water is composed of two gins, oxygin and > hydrogin. oxygin is pure gin. > hydrogin is gin and > water." >

> * "h20 is hot water, and co2 is cold water." >

> * "three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, > and caterpillars. " >

> * "dew is > formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them > and makes them > perspire." >

> * "the body consists of three parts - the brainium, > the borax and the

> abominable cavity. the brainium contains the brain, > the borax contains the

> heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains > the bowels, of which

> there are five - a, e,i, o and u." >

> * "the alimentary canal is located in the northern

> part of > indiana ." >

> * "equator: a managerie lion running around the > earth through africa .." >

> * "germinate: to become a naturalized german." >

> * "to keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the > cow." > "yesterday was past,tomorrow is the future,today is > a gift and that's why

> we call it the present!"

padna-likhna chad pare, nakal te rakh aas,

chak rajai te so jaa kuriye.. rabb karunga pass ishq da jis nu bukhaar aa janda time usda kharab aa janda hor panwe kuch aawe na aawe

tare gin gin ke hisab aa janda.. assi maut rok rakhi te tera intzaar kita, sajna tere jhuthe laareya da aitbaar kita, assi jaan den lageya ek pal vi na laya,

te tussi jaan len lageya vi nakhra hajaar kita!!!! asi sada ladaiyan to dur rehande haan... gandasi chal jaye ta hor gal ae,

asi daru nu kadi hath nahi launde..... sham dhal jaye ta hor gal ae,

asi kade koi kudi nahi ched-de..... .. yaar ral jaan ta hor gal ae,

assi paas hona taa kade sikheya nahi..... nakal chal jaye ta hor gal ae.

sun sohniye husan diye pariye ni tu sohni e koi vajeer ta nahi, jina naal tu galla kare has has ke je oh badshah ne.asi fakirte nahi, mania k tu bahut sohni ae .. par siala d heer te nahi,

ki hoya je asi tenu akh maar ti.. kamliye akh e c teer ta nahi. rafal dunali je mirza kol hondi,

pichhe sehban de pravan nu mor dinda, sohni duban to pehla je phone kardi, mahiwal ik kishti rod denda,

akal hunde je vechkhud ranjha court marriage layi paise jod lainda, khabar hundi je blocha de aaun di punnu reth chhad kulu manali wal daud lainda hasna ohna di aadat c aasi galat andaja la bethe

oh hasde hasde vasde rehe te aasi apne aap nu gua bethe. sohne sohne nain-naksh usde vekhan waale bada pasand karde sade naal kare oh pyar hass ke eho jiha rabba koi parband kar de sanu vi sohna bana de rabba nahi taan sohne banaane band kar de!! marda hoya mirza bol peya: "mainu pata hunda siaba tun inj karni, tan main laila nu hi fassa lenda,

othe sassi vi veli baithi si,

main us te hi traiaan maar lenda.."

tu ta chali gayi england yaraan da vajake band tu ke sochea yaar tabaah ho gaye india a ke vekh yaraan de do-do viah ho gaye sanu tan desi ne talli kitta, angrezi vich kithey dam si.

saadhi ta bottle uthe tutti jithey thekka hi band si. marda hoya mirza bol paya.. marda hoya mirza bol paya..