Issue 7
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TO PROTECT AND SERVE
A Party Boys Production
MFO 51 Toilet Paper 24 JULY 2008
E-4 MAFIA
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
Super Spectacular Swimsuit Edition
mfotoiletpaper.blogspot.com OHIO GUARD NEEDS OUR HELP!! Please submit all recommendations for items to pack to the MFO Toilet Paper Website ASAP!! Our staff is
developing a Special Edition for Pre-Rip for the Ohio National Guard. Any suggestions for packing, tidbits of information, or recommendations are welcome. We are keeping all of the information fun, informative, and positive. We here at the Toilet Paper believe we can not do enough to make these guys feel welcome and prepared when they hit the ground to relieve us!! Please email information right away. We also encourage all other submissions for future issues!!
Newsletter Policies for Submission:
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no later than 24 hours before printing. This medium was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of events or news presented is fake and does not reflect the views or orders of the official people running our camp. Any similarity to actual events and people is purely coincidental and shall not be interpreted as truth. We accept submissions for content from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or below. Submissions are accepted on a first comefirst served basis and there is no guarantee of publication. All submissions become the sole property of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please resend all articles for submission to the new email address. They will make the next issue. This news medium accepts submissions from
ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
24 JULY 2008
O’ Brother Where Art Thou?
MFO TOILET PAPER
TOILET PAPER PERSONALS Are you missing back issues of the MFO TOILET PAPER for your home collection? Email the editor at [email protected] to request back issues or to be added to the home delivery email list. Don’t miss an issue!!
Long lost brothers re-united when strange man was found in a cave on Tiran Island. Apparently the creature had been living there for a long time and whispering “My Precious” to an old bolt-action rifle from the Second World War. The brothers were separated at birth because of a severe lack of dentil hygene in the country they are from. The brothers will now rebuild their kindship by opening the first ever chili dog stand in downtown Naama Bay.
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
Check out the MFO TP online now at the fantastic new website: MFOTOILETPAPER. BLOGSPOT.COM Get your SWAG Today!!
O C Jeager Bomb Report FROM O.C. HQ: An official challenge is going out to all “buddy” teams on South Camp. The current record of 23 JEAGERBOMBS is now held by the team of SPC Jenkins and SPC McDowell. Anyone wishing to challenge must complete more without barfing in one evening!!
Favorite new cocktail of the Month: JEAGERBOMB 1 shot Jeagermeister 1 shot Red Bull Drink Mix, Consume, Repeat!!
Action Jackson’s Action Advice Dear Action Jackson, I got my truck stuck in the sand outside the wire, what do I do? Simple Simon Hey Simple, No sweat! Get a sixpack, drink up, and when your done digging it out, the wrecker will come and pull you out. It will only cost a new main gate and some sweat off your brow! ——————————Yo Jackson, One of my superiors keeps hitting on me while I am at Herb’s Beach. I tried to stop him, but he is so pushy! Larry Longneck Larry,
Troop Dominance As if Softball, Baseball, Number of AA Members was not enough, One Troop is now trying to conquer Motherhood!! Recent reports show that the O.C. Captian and C.E.O. are trying to bring the first Same-Same offspring to South Camp. The photo taken to the left shows the couple walking hand in hand on the beach. According to reports from the future “Godfather McDowell” the couple are leaning toward a name like: “Jack Vodka Jeager Paolini-Heyman” for the little tyke. If natural gestation is not an option, adoption will be considered. “The Prince” would like to ask anyone seeing the happy couple to congratulate them publicly as they stagger or crawl around South Camp.
Try your best to pawn him off on a battle buddy. Most of them will chase the closest tail they can see. If you are not in the path of the speeding bullets, help them find an alternate target. You will end up being the best man when one of them kills the rabbit!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
24 JULY 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
COMBAT GOLF OUTING
SPC Snyder (CTRP—Left)
Was the Overall Winner SPC Wellington (A TRP) Won For “Best of Worst”
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
Editors Corner
This issue delivers a milestone in journalism here in the Sinai. We finally have a fourth page added to our attempt at humor. I will admit that a full-page-limited edition print is not exactly a hard-hitting news story or a full-blown sports page like I would like to see, but it does increase the amount of space that can now be dedicated to the mindless drivel that I keep turning out month after month. I have been approached by members of the Ohio Guard that will be Ripping us in the fall, and they have expressed an interest in a few things. First, they would like a real time, no bs list of items they might need for personal comfort here in the Sinai. Second, please submit your lists of real world advice for them. We are in the process of creating a Special Edition Pre-RIP version of the Toilet Paper. I would like to have it ready by the end of August. I will include any information you would like to share that will be helpful to them to get ready to take our place. Please be constructive. While I will always try to make it funny, this issue will be no joke. I want to make sure they are well informed and prepared to help us get on our way!! Email info ASAP!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
24 JULY 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
MFO TP Collectors Edition Print
Spot of Tea Anyone?
Picture taken at OP3-11 on July 26th, CPT Richards, CSM Zaengle, and LTC Langol enjoy a “spot of coffee”, served from baby-doll sized tea cups and a silver serving set, and discover they all have the same recessive pinkie finger gene. Members of the squad at OP 3-11 said, “The coffee is an excellent decoy during inspections from higher commands.”
It Is So Hard To Catch Those Pesky Little Crabs Around Here!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
A Party Boys Production
MFO 51 Toilet Paper 24 JULY 2008
E-4 MAFIA
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
Super Spectacular Swimsuit Edition
mfotoiletpaper.blogspot.com OHIO GUARD NEEDS OUR HELP!! Please submit all recommendations for items to pack to the MFO Toilet Paper Website ASAP!! Our staff is
developing a Special Edition for Pre-Rip for the Ohio National Guard. Any suggestions for packing, tidbits of information, or recommendations are welcome. We are keeping all of the information fun, informative, and positive. We here at the Toilet Paper believe we can not do enough to make these guys feel welcome and prepared when they hit the ground to relieve us!! Please email information right away. We also encourage all other submissions for future issues!!
Newsletter Policies for Submission:
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no later than 24 hours before printing. This medium was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of events or news presented is fake and does not reflect the views or orders of the official people running our camp. Any similarity to actual events and people is purely coincidental and shall not be interpreted as truth. We accept submissions for content from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or below. Submissions are accepted on a first comefirst served basis and there is no guarantee of publication. All submissions become the sole property of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please resend all articles for submission to the new email address. They will make the next issue. This news medium accepts submissions from
ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
24 JULY 2008
O’ Brother Where Art Thou?
MFO TOILET PAPER
TOILET PAPER PERSONALS Are you missing back issues of the MFO TOILET PAPER for your home collection? Email the editor at [email protected] to request back issues or to be added to the home delivery email list. Don’t miss an issue!!
Long lost brothers re-united when strange man was found in a cave on Tiran Island. Apparently the creature had been living there for a long time and whispering “My Precious” to an old bolt-action rifle from the Second World War. The brothers were separated at birth because of a severe lack of dentil hygene in the country they are from. The brothers will now rebuild their kindship by opening the first ever chili dog stand in downtown Naama Bay.
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
Check out the MFO TP online now at the fantastic new website: MFOTOILETPAPER. BLOGSPOT.COM Get your SWAG Today!!
O C Jeager Bomb Report FROM O.C. HQ: An official challenge is going out to all “buddy” teams on South Camp. The current record of 23 JEAGERBOMBS is now held by the team of SPC Jenkins and SPC McDowell. Anyone wishing to challenge must complete more without barfing in one evening!!
Favorite new cocktail of the Month: JEAGERBOMB 1 shot Jeagermeister 1 shot Red Bull Drink Mix, Consume, Repeat!!
Action Jackson’s Action Advice Dear Action Jackson, I got my truck stuck in the sand outside the wire, what do I do? Simple Simon Hey Simple, No sweat! Get a sixpack, drink up, and when your done digging it out, the wrecker will come and pull you out. It will only cost a new main gate and some sweat off your brow! ——————————Yo Jackson, One of my superiors keeps hitting on me while I am at Herb’s Beach. I tried to stop him, but he is so pushy! Larry Longneck Larry,
Troop Dominance As if Softball, Baseball, Number of AA Members was not enough, One Troop is now trying to conquer Motherhood!! Recent reports show that the O.C. Captian and C.E.O. are trying to bring the first Same-Same offspring to South Camp. The photo taken to the left shows the couple walking hand in hand on the beach. According to reports from the future “Godfather McDowell” the couple are leaning toward a name like: “Jack Vodka Jeager Paolini-Heyman” for the little tyke. If natural gestation is not an option, adoption will be considered. “The Prince” would like to ask anyone seeing the happy couple to congratulate them publicly as they stagger or crawl around South Camp.
Try your best to pawn him off on a battle buddy. Most of them will chase the closest tail they can see. If you are not in the path of the speeding bullets, help them find an alternate target. You will end up being the best man when one of them kills the rabbit!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
24 JULY 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
COMBAT GOLF OUTING
SPC Snyder (CTRP—Left)
Was the Overall Winner SPC Wellington (A TRP) Won For “Best of Worst”
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
Editors Corner
This issue delivers a milestone in journalism here in the Sinai. We finally have a fourth page added to our attempt at humor. I will admit that a full-page-limited edition print is not exactly a hard-hitting news story or a full-blown sports page like I would like to see, but it does increase the amount of space that can now be dedicated to the mindless drivel that I keep turning out month after month. I have been approached by members of the Ohio Guard that will be Ripping us in the fall, and they have expressed an interest in a few things. First, they would like a real time, no bs list of items they might need for personal comfort here in the Sinai. Second, please submit your lists of real world advice for them. We are in the process of creating a Special Edition Pre-RIP version of the Toilet Paper. I would like to have it ready by the end of August. I will include any information you would like to share that will be helpful to them to get ready to take our place. Please be constructive. While I will always try to make it funny, this issue will be no joke. I want to make sure they are well informed and prepared to help us get on our way!! Email info ASAP!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
24 JULY 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 7
MFO TP Collectors Edition Print
Spot of Tea Anyone?
Picture taken at OP3-11 on July 26th, CPT Richards, CSM Zaengle, and LTC Langol enjoy a “spot of coffee”, served from baby-doll sized tea cups and a silver serving set, and discover they all have the same recessive pinkie finger gene. Members of the squad at OP 3-11 said, “The coffee is an excellent decoy during inspections from higher commands.”
It Is So Hard To Catch Those Pesky Little Crabs Around Here!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
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