Is A Diamond Ring Really A Girl's Best Friend ? By Vanderkok

4/17/09

Is a DIAMOND RING REALLY A “GIRL’s BEST FRIEND” ? After all the correspondence sent to Melissa (or her mom) & the correspondence received from Melissa, the question remains, what REALLY is the way to Missy’s heart ? Is she WAITING for a DIAMOND ? well, the only way to FIND OUT is to give her one. So I started shopping for diamond rings beginning with Robbins Bros. which specializes in engagement rings. I went into a Robbins Bros in Canoga Park and a lady by the name of Marilyn Kasaboski led me to various diamond rings and also suggested I might want to try a “promise ring.”

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She asked me about “her” and I said it’s been 25 YEARS since we had a relationship together and she GASPED ! In fact as I began to tell her about Melissa tears came to her eyes. I don’t she fully understood what I was talking about and I didn’t go into the Missy’s Mom incident. I just told Marilyn that we had “passion” many years ago & I have tried to keep letting her know that I care for her even while she was married. In fact I kept sending cards & a Bible to Missy’s address while she was still married. I drove by their home twice when I was in West Michigan on two separate occasions. I was amazed at how comfortable Missy & her family seemed to be—the two homes I saw were beautiful—spacious with green grass surrounding the home and a nearby lake. It left me wondering how the marriage could have gone wrong but then I regained my senses and realized that no material possessions can TRULY create a loving relationship. TRUE LOVE transcends the material. And I believed that Melissa was NOT a material girl, or want to believe so. But there I was looking at DIAMONDS thinking that maybe that’s what I LEFT OUT and that’s what she is waiting for : a DIAMOND to PROVE my love. So Marilyn let me hold a few diamonds to appreciate their feel & see the glitter that shines from a true diamond.

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I noticed the large diamond ring on Marilyn’s finger & said , “I like your ring” & she said, “That’s after 33 years…” But then as we talked more she said that her husband died three months after they were married & she never remarried. Hmmm, I thought to myself. Sounds tragic. Then she added that she loved him & only him & would never remarry. She asked me more about Melissa & I said, “All I know is that she recently got divorced…” I told her a mutual friend that I was in communication with by email was offering advice…& thought maybe if she was just recently divorced she might be angry at men in general and might “need time.” I could tell that Marilyn wanted “specifics” and something “concrete” about Melissa but that’s really about all I had to give her. I didn’t know much & Melissa wasn’t really even talking to me, apart from a letter she sent by registered mail. And that was not very “conversational” from what I heard (although I did not personally see it or read whatever she wrote). I added to Marilyn that “because my family moved to California when I was in high school, it caused some difficulty in maintaining a relationship…” and that 3

some “Michigan girls” expect to get married shortly out of high school or at the latest after college. She nodded knowingly and said “Midwest girls…” I moved over to a section with diamond crosses and said, “Another reason I have not been able to get married is because of my faith and moving around, including different countries…”. I asked her about a diamond cross and she said it was $2, 490 dollars. Then Marilyn told me about the history of Robbins Bros & that she was one of the few hired by Robbins himself. I wondered what it was like working in a diamond ring store and talking to people who were ready to get married. Must be interesting. But when I told Marilyn I was “just shopping” and not ready to buy yet & said “maybe I’ll be back” suddenly she became a little cold and said, “good luck.” And I walked out. I wanted to look around at diamonds of all types in different stores, not just Robbins Bros. Thanks anyways, Marilyn.

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That was on April 19 that I looked at the diamonds. Today is April 25 although you will notice that my message is dated April 17—that’s because I send a Sunday Message every week –and sometimes I get behind so I “backdate” the message. I’m catching up. With all the MISSY MISSION MATERIAL I fell behind- dating back to when I was notified of the death of our friend, Rick Byle. Speaking of Rick Byle, it was Dave Dejong who notified me of the death of Rick & I appreciate that very much. But Dave Dejong remains a mystery to me. We have limited conversation & limited communication. He remains in my prayers along with his kids, Clayton, Owen, & Hans, as well as his wife, Linda. And he gets my regular emails as well. Up until recently Dave still responded to my emails--, up until I said I’m praying for Clayton, Owen, & Hans —since then he has not responded. May God be with him, I hope all is okay. Speaking of Dave—I just do NOT know how to understand him. I knew Dave from elementary school thru high school, off-and-on doing things with him, including riding around in his red Barracuda or ‘Cuda . What a beautiful car. And I remember camping with his family at Pentwater one weekend—must have been Memorial or Labor Day weekend. I remember swimming across the channel in Holland with Dave & Rick.

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And the list goes on. I have a lot of memories of doing things with Dave. We used to ride mopeds together around Alger Heights even out to Woodland Mall. We used to race mopeds. I lost touch with Dave a little during high school. He was on a “different track” academically. I went on to Calvin College. He went on to junior college and then RBC.

And then Dave Dejong reappeared somewhere along the way. He showed up at our house on Lowell one time. He was a youth pastor by that time. Anyways…I guess he didn’t stick with being a youth pastor & now he’s a salesman from what I hear. I ask all of you, the BODY OF CHRIST to pray for him as well. Meanwhile, back to Missy & Diamond Rings. They say a dog is a “man’s best friend” while a diamond ring is a “girl’s best friend.” Is that true ? Well, Lola my golden retriever was a great friend to me—maybe even truly an angel sent by God. But what about diamonds ? Can they really be a girl’s best friend ? Or are they a 6

SYMBOL of great friendship & devotion ? And is a diamond what will REALLY re-open Melissa’s heart to me ? What does the Bible say ? It really doesn’t talk much about the process of engagement and winning a woman’s heart. Back in the Biblical days women did not have the same status as they have today. Today, some women are much more “liberated” (for better or for worse) and some don’t feel they have the same obligations as women may have felt back in the Bible days. It makes it difficult for a “traditional man” to know how to relate at times. So all I do is KEEP TRYING, keep praying. As I told Liz, maybe I should remain “HAPPILY UNMARRIED.” It’s up to God, not me. I am devoted to following God’s will for my life. If he wants me to be married so be it. I must admit I enjoy authentic relationships with women, and not just sex. I enjoy conversation and laughter. I enjoy going to church & worshipping God with a lady, and growing spiritually with her—my ULTIMATE DEVOTION is to JESUS Christ, the true BRIDE for all who love God: The FATHER-SON-and-HOLY SPIRIT ! Whoever I marry as a human I hope she will love God too—and that we will be in heaven together. I reminded Liz that I always thought I would end up doing mission work and never really thought through the process of offering a diamond to entice a lady to 7

marry me. If whomever I marry is enticed by money or the glitter of fancy jewelry she’s not going to be that interested in me. I am NOT POOR but I AM not a fancy, wealthy, money-throwing man either. My goal is to make this world a better place & I took a vow to begin making that goal a reality by STAYING SMALL and doing ‘SMALL THINGS—including helping young people learn how to read, write, & think. That’s important. Education is important. Beyond that, even more important is FAITH. But faith leads a person to ACTION as well, and it does NOT leave out the mind. God gave us a brain to think & learn and make this world a better place for everybody. We are STEWARDS for God and He wants us to use our brain cells, not abuse them. Sprituality is NOT just a feeling. Should I offer Melissa a diamond ring ? Maybe I will ? Maybe soon. Maybe it won’t make a difference. Maybe it will. Only God knows. I just live by faith and ask God to keep me healthy enough to do HIS WILL, not mine. I live to tell the GOOD NEWS of JESUS CHRIST and would love to have a wife who wants to do the same with me ! If not Missy, then WHOM ?

VanderKOK, EVANGELIST for Christ

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