Ind. And Personality Dev

Daniel B. Redman Existential Personality Development PC6500 Individual & Personality Development Argosy University Grant D. Chikazawa-Nelson, MA, LMFT April 19, 2005

2 Daniel B. Redman: Existential Personality Development In the following paper I will answer to the best to my ability how a person’s personality can develop using an Existential Psychological and Philosophical framework. I will specifically focus on the adolescence period of an individual and later in life how relationships assist with the alleviation of anxiety due to overwhelming feelings of isolation. Within the context of this discussion I will hope that the historical and environmental aspects that play into one’s personality development will be transparent. I will approach this task assuming individuals will progress through life with a healthy development of personality. However, I will address aspects of pathology that can occur if an individual’s development lacks a normal progression or is stunted by trauma or lack of individuation. I will brief in referencing different personality traits or personality types; however, I believe that the information provided will be sufficient to provide a sound example. Finally, I will turn to Peter Kramer’s book, “Listening To Prozac” (1993) and analyze some of its contents with an Existential gaze. I do not necessarily expect to come to any conclusions regarding antidepressants or the neurological matters Kramer alludes to, but I hope to at least raise some questions of significance and interest. “Are the ‘givens’ (Yalom, 1980) of existence enough to explain the development of the self?” I was intrigued by this question and believe it will be shown that, yes, that the four “givens” of existence and the anxiety they are capable of producing are enough to explain the development of an individual’s personality. The four “givens” of existence I will discuss are death, freedom (and responsibility), isolation and meaninglessness. Though it appears that many Existentialists, such as Irwin Yalom, who spent nearly half of his book, “Existential Psychotherapy” (1980) on the concept of death and the anxiety it produces as cause for the development of the self. I will spend the majority of this essay discussing the concept of freedom and responsibility along with the inherent anxiety in regards to the maturing individual. However, the fear of death precedes the anxiety of freedom and responsibility; thus I shall begin with death.

3 Death Death has been recognized by many, if not all cultures as not only a fact of existence, but a motivator to account for an individual’s means of striving in life and coping with life. Carl Jung noted that, “To the psyche death is just as important as birth and like it, is an integral part of life” (Wilhelm, 1962, p. 124 as cited by Becvar, 2003, p. 437). Apparently there was a time in our not to distant past where death was not cause for fear and anguish that it is today. It would seem that many people attempt to avoid the idea or discussion of death from the workplace to hospitals. We are taught not to speak of such things. We are taught that it is not nice or proper. The concept or discussion of death appears to make a lot of people uncomfortable. Today, with medical science being as advanced as it is, birth fatalities are down and the age expectancy for men and women has greatly increased. So, it would seem to be within Western culture’s spirit not only to avoid or deny death, but above all to conquer it. Existentialism, however, embraces the notion of death due to the multitude of benefits it exudes. Death not only can explain much about human existence, but its inevitability and permanence should bring forth the richness that life has to offer. Dorothy Becvar, a Marriage and Family Therapist, gives the impression that she would concur with the Existentialists in this regard by stating, “For death tends to strip away that which is superfluous, revealing humanity in all of its fullness and beauty” (2003, p. 437). As I previously stated the anxiety of death precedes the anxiety producing concepts of freedom and responsibility. The anxiety of death begins in the early years of childhood. In coping with fears of death, children erect defense mechanisms. The defense mechanisms are denial based and in turn assist in the shaping of their character structure. This fear of nothingness can be overpowering; so in managing the anxiety of death we wish to turn the fear of nothing into the fear of something through many different means. Children tend to personify death, by having nightmares about the boogeyman or ghosts. Death is also represented by skeletons and the image of the grim reaper. Children also tend to attempt to avoid the confrontation with death by holding onto the belief that children do not die. Young boys in particular, will taunt death in order to

4 confirm their aliveness. And similarly to their adult counterparts, children will go about seeking allies against death; they will typically find solace in a group setting. The idea of being around parents, friends or people in general grasps onto the notion of by perpetuating the group one can perpetuate themselves. Being amongst people not only alleviates the anxiety of death, but it also eases the disquieting feeling of isolation. Though the idea of responsibility will be discussed further, it is worth noting that children as well as adults will avoid accepting responsibility as a means to maintain the idea of being young; therefore seizing the view that death can be shunned. The most common way for individuals and communities at large to assuage the anxiety of death is by having a faith in a God. This faith placates their fears by believing in an afterlife and thus avoiding the fear of nothingness (Yalom, 1980). As could be concluded, a major developmental task for children is to learn how to deal with the anxiety of death; so that they might have the courage to explore and ascertain more about the world which surrounds them. In his 1980 book, “Existential Psychotherapy,” Yalom presents two methods in which children may accomplish this task; they are the ideas of the Ultimate rescuer and Specialness. The child learns to deny the inevitability and permanence of death by creating or embracing myths of immortality. This idea of the Ultimate rescuer beginning with the child’s parents; whom being concerned with and satisfying every need of the developing child is seen as a protector throughout life. This concept is transferable to having a faith in a God; thus providing the child with a more enduring Ultimate rescuer. The Ultimate rescuer alleviates the fear of being alone or being non-existent. The developing child is taught to look for greater strength outside of themselves; all the while assuming a healthy, but dependent stance towards others. The idea of Specialness allows the growing child to tolerate the notion of being isolated as well as their insignificance in comparison to the world around them. It also permits an individual a sense of courage to encounter danger without being overwhelmed by the threat of

5 their personal extinction. The child who has an acute idea of Specialness will be more likely to strive towards individuation and autonomy as they approach their adolescent years. Freedom & Responsibility Yalom (1980) asserted that Heidegger emphasized the dual nature of human existence. The individual is “there,” but also he constitutes what is there. Therefore, responsibility is unconditionally linked to freedom; because unless the individual is free to constitute the world in any number of ways then the concept of responsibility is without meaning. Sartre declared that “to be responsible is to be the uncontested author of an event or thing.” Responsibility means authorship. To be aware of responsibility is to be aware of creating one’s own self, destiny, life predicament, feelings and, if such be the case, one’s own suffering (Yalom, 1980, p. 218). The acceptance of responsibility enables an individual to achieve autonomy and their quest towards his or her full potential. It would seem that the idea of freedom and responsibility in the sense of personal development are compatible with Erik Erikson’s theory of ego identity and the identity formation model derived from this theory (Bilsker, 1992). According to Erikson, exploration is at the heart of the adolescent transition. In his words, exploration is the identity crisis, although crises are not necessarily acute or severe (Erikson, 1959). The remaking of personal identity, which is necessary to complete the transition was said to be dependent on exploration (Kidwell, 1995, p. 785). This exploration will result in an impairment of coping skills, seen by the level of an individual’s subjective discomfort, confusion, mood swings, impulsivity and acting out behaviors. There is a loss of the feeling of being centered (Kidwell, 1995) or one would experience in the existential sense, groundlessness (Yalom, 1980). James Marcia built the model of identity formation based on three assumptions, they are as follows: 1) The formation of ego identity involves the establishment of firm commitments in basic identity areas, 2) Forming identity demands a period

6 of exploration, questioning and decision making and 3) Western society cultivates a period of “psychosocial moratorium” during which adolescents may experiment with roles and beliefs so as to establish a coherent personal identity (Bilsker, 1992, p. 179). The period of adolescence has been observed as an increased time of exploration and commitment around the basic identity areas mentioned in item one include six domains: occupation, religion, politics, friendships, dating and sex roles and how the exploration of these domains influence values, beliefs and goals (Kidwell, 1995, p. 787). Based upon the individual’s amount of exploration and commitment, Marcia developed four identity statuses. The four identity statuses are as follows. Identity Achievement is the most developmentally advanced status. The individual has gone through a period of exploration of alternatives and has made well-defined commitments. Moratorium is the predecessor to Identity Achievement. Here, the person is in the exploration period with commitments only vaguely formed. Foreclosure refers to the individual who has undergone no, or very little, exploration and remains firmly committed to childhood-based values. Finally, Identity Diffusion, the least developmentally advanced of the statuses, is comprised of persons who, whether they have explored alternatives or not, are uncommitted to any definite directions in their lives (Marcia, 1987, 163 as cited by Bilsker, 1992, p. 180). Marcia’s idea of Foreclosure correlates to Martin Heidegger concept of “throwness” (Bilsker, 1992). According to Heidegger, each person is born into a certain predefined situation, a state of affairs which he or she did not choose. The individual was thrown into the world and must begin with the conditions in which they find themselves. These conditions include those which are of the impersonal nature such as social class and biological traits as well as a person’s family. The person who is the state of foreclosure or “throwness” accepts as true what he has been taught to believe and lives out the choices made for him or her by others. The social network, which includes family, friends, other authority figures as well as one’s culture, into which he or she has

7 been born, has determined his or her values and goals in life. The individual who is in this condition of “throwness” is in a passive state of existence. He or she is overwhelmingly shaped by the forces of nature and nurture. He or She is unable to claim ownership of their inherited value systems; therefore unable to form a unique identity to call their own. A person who is caught in the Foreclosure state can also be described by another Heidegger concept, “fallenness” (Bilsker, 1992). This individual has an identity that has been dictated by the mass culture. This collective identity provides the person with feelings of comfort and security; it absolves the individual from the anxiety of freedom and responsibility. The adolescent in a state of Foreclosure has materialized from childhood with a set of beliefs, values and roles which have been given to them from an outside source. In other words, the Foreclosure’s identity has been received from his or her surrounding community rather than actively and individually formulated. Following from and somewhat similar to Heidegger’s idea of “throwness” is Sartre’s concept of “facticity” (Bilsker, 1992). “Facticity” is attributes which are fixed and form the context for all choices. Included in “facticity” are one’s roles, personal characteristics, current social circumstance and historical situation. A person’s “facticity” is an identifier, but does not ultimately determine one’s identity. One always has the freedom to choose differently in the future. This freedom to choose otherwise is what Sartre referred to as “transcendence” (Bilsker, 1992). According to Sartre, each one of us is able to transcend our “facticity” toward imminent possibilities; since we are more than a set of facts from our past. There is an underlying tension between “facticity” and “transcendence”. The tension arises when an individual emphasizes one at the expense of the other. The idea of “facticity” which is fixed and limits one in life causes an individual to be unable to accept the possibility of change; where as “transcendence” is the stance that anything and everything is permissible, regardless of social rules and mores. Therefore, in order to avoid an act of self-deception, a person must understand the interchange of “facticity” and “transcendence.” The system of beliefs, values and identification from our past is “facticity;”

8 while the ability and drive to form a new identity is “transcendence.” One is always free to choose, but they cannot disregard one’s past. In the early years of adolescence an individual in the state of Identity Diffusion refuses to be identified with his or her own previous choices. They are intolerable of any attempt to taper their infinite possibilities. The person’s “facticity” is irrelevant to their idea of being able to choose freely. “Facticity” is also considered to be accidental by nature in time and place. This individual is one who “needs this perpetual rebirth, this constant escape in order to live” (Sartre, 1956, p. 108 as cited by Bilsker, 1992, p. 185). The fundamental result is the individual’s inability to establish any meaningful commitments. The next stage is the most typical of the average adolescent. The Moratorium stage of development possesses the idea that it is an act towards authenticity. The individual in involved in an intense process of exploration to achieve a commitment (Meeus, 1996). It is a conscious act of separation from the “throwness,” “facticity” and “fallenness” of their life as the individual begins to make a stand as a unique human being. The person begins to feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for one’s course of exploration and the commitments in which they have arrived. This authenticity defers to a sense of isolation; the natural anxiety of freedom and responsibility. The individual at this time, instigates the process of making sense of and choosing the significance of their own “throwness,” “facticity” and “fallenness;” resolute in not being determined by their past and become more than their inherited identity. This quest into authenticity will call into question any former notions of Specialness or any Ultimate rescuers. As a direct result there is an increase in anxiety surrounding death, isolation and meaninglessness. To abandon the security of the Foreclosure position, where values, roles and expectations were provided, to having a sense of distrust for the previous given realities is cause for the individual to have an impression of groundlessness. Due to the amplified anxiety a person feels during this stage of development; it should be of no surprise to know that Moratoriums have the lowest level of psychological well-being (Meeus, 1996).

9 The concept of Identity Achievement is one when a person is considered to be defined, though not permanently, by decisions and commitments one has made after an extended period of exploration. This individual has established a better, if not firm, idea of what ones life’s projects he or she will find them self intentionally “engaged” in. The person’s focus shifts from the fixed attributes of a particular identity structure to the acts and maintenance by which a new identity is expressed. The status of Identity Achievement does not, nor should it be viewed as the pinnacle of identity development; because, even a well-explored commitment can at some time lose its value (Meeus, 1996). Out of the interest of looking at an individual’s existential personality development through a systemic lens; I would like to draw comparisons between the theory of ego identity formation and the family therapy’s concept of differentiation (Bowen, 1978). The identity of Foreclosure could be seen systemically as the idea of fusion in that they both reflect ideological and interpersonal commitment that is based on little or no exploration of alternatives; rather these individuals adopt their parent’s views. This fusion with others which could include triangulation and over-identification with one’s parents represents a passive existence. The individual has permitted their identity to be formed and controlled by another; here he or she is unable to claim ownership of their inherited value system and therefore without an identity to truly call their own. The individual stuck in the state of Identity Diffusion is the equivalent to the person who is emotionally cut-off. In both instances, there is a lack of commitment as well as a lack of personal exploration. The emotionally cut-off individual signals that he or she feels threatened by intimacy and suffers vulnerability in relation to others; this vulnerability leads to fears of being swallowed up by others and defense mechanisms such as distancing come forth. The person who is making a conscious effort towards being authentic could be regarded as emotionally reactive. In their current state of exploration of ideological and

10 interpersonal alternatives with lack of a clear commitment creates a conflict for this person in the Moratorium stage of development. There is an increased anxiety due to the tension between wishing to remain in a zone of comfort and one’s personal quest for freedom and autonomy. This conflict could also be construed as Existential Guilt (Yalom, 1980). Existential guilt which can be a positive and constructive emotion is a perception between what a thing is and what it ought to be. Therefore, existential guilt is compatible with mental health and a person’s development. When a person denies his or her potentialities, fails to fulfill and own them; his or her condition is guilt. One may sense a pull to retreat to the comfort zone of the Foreclosure’s identity, but the underlying sense of existential guilt will pull the person in an autonomous direction. Existential guilt can be a guide to one’s self. A person who has attained and continues to exert toward Identity Achievement reflects a clearly defined sense of self and has the ability to adhere to one’s convictions, even when pressured to do otherwise. This individual has achieved an “I-position” in differentiation terms. They are not emotionally reactive, overly connected or disconnected to one’s family. They have transcended their condition of “throwness” and “facticity.” Isolation One could assert that the development of one’s personality over the individual’s life-span could be founded in the idea of isolation (Yalom, 1980). The end result of the identity formation process leaves a person with a sense of groundlessness as well as a feeling of isolation. After forming an individual identity by leaving the “throwness” and values of the Foreclosure’s identity behind leaves one with a feeling of existential isolation. Existential isolation is an unbridgeable gap between oneself and any other human being. There is also a more fundamental isolation; a separation between the individual and the world. One can never go back completely to the “fallenness” or “throwness” values of their past no matter how strong the desire. So, people

11 attempt to alleviate the pain of isolation through forming relationships with others in a mutual relationship that is based on reciprocity. One may consider this continued development of the self by virtue of giving up part of one’s self. Each of us is alone in our existence and no relationship can eliminate the dread of isolation. Yet this aloneness can be shared in such a way that love compensates for the pain of isolation. Martin Buber identified tow basic types of relationships. The “I-Thou” relationship is a mutual relationship founded in love; involving a full experiencing of the other. A relationship which includes the giving of one's whole self to the other; meaning there is reciprocity of feelings, the desire for continued growth and development of the other. The “I-It” relationship is one which exists between a person and equipment. It is a functional relationship; lacking in mutuality. The relationship has a subject and object, but there is no concern express for the object in the relationship. Once the subject’s needs are met contact is ended. The concept of the “I-It” relationship will be discussed further in the section on pathology. Meaninglessness If we enter into this world alone and possess the freedom to author our own life based upon our choices; and this freedom leads us into relationships and careers in which we attempt to grasp at a meaning behind it all in the backdrop of a universe without a grand design. What is the meaning of life (Yalom, 1980)? A portion of the identity formation process is to find values; beliefs and a way of being that transcend the beliefs of your parents or community. This could also be viewed as finding one’s meaning or purpose in life. The process of ego identity and meaning have a reciprocal nature; in that, once a sense of meaning has been developed, it gives birth to values. These values not only provide the individual with a blueprint for personal action, but also make it possible for individuals to exist in groups and maintain an identity achievement or “I position” stance. The meaning we find in our lives whether cosmic or secular in nature provide a sense of footing in this world; it offers a purpose.

12 For many there is a Cosmic Meaning in life. Many people in the west hold onto a JudeoChristian belief system and since such beliefs have been spoken of and written about in great detail, I will be brief. Such a belief system may possess the idea that it is each human being’s task to ascertain and fulfill God’s will. And yet others believe that human life should be dedicated to the purpose of emulating God. Since God represents perfection; and thus the purpose of life is to strive for perfection. However, what if, a person does not have a faith in a metaphysical being? Can there be personal meaning in the absence of a cosmic meaning? Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Sartre declared that there was meaning to be found in existence despite its absurdity. The “Absurd Human Condition” (Yalom, 1980) is a meaning seeking being in a world which has no meaning. There is a primary tension between a person’s aspiration to have a blueprint of values and a definite meaning to be found in existence and the world’s indifference. Albert Camus believed a human being can attain meaning by living with dignity in the face of the “absurd human condition.” Camus considered a meaningful life was to be lived with a sense of courage, prideful rebellion (against one’s absurd condition), fraternal solidarity, love and secular saintliness (Yalom, 1980). Sartre differed somewhat from Camus. Sartre felt to find meaning in life one must be “engaged” into action or a project. He felt since there is no cosmic meaning, one must create their own personal meaning in the world. There are a number of ways to find meaning in the world in a secular fashion. One can find purpose by performing altruistic acts by serving others and participating in charity; thus leaving the world in a better state. One’s own creative works can be a means to an end. Creativity, overlaps with altruism in that many search for ways to be creative in order improve the conditions around the globe. A person’s creativity could be expressed in many ways, such as the arts, politics, science or relationships. Some individuals find meaning through seeking out pleasure; thus hedonism could be construed as a purpose in life. And some individual’s sole goal is the quest for their actualized potential.

13 Pathology Psychopathology can emerge from any of the four “givens” of existence. I will list some examples from each; beginning with death. Psychopathology embarks upon those who either do not develop appropriate defenses against the ultimate concern of death or take those defense mechanisms, such as the idea of Specialness or the Ultimate rescuer too far. If individual’s become to extreme or rigid in their defense against the anxiety of death; it can prevent growth and lead to an unsatisfying life. Anxiety surrounding death is both neurotic and normal. All human beings experience death anxiety, but some experience such excessive amounts that it spills into many other areas of life. When this anxiety leaks into other areas of a person’s life it can result in more defense mechanisms which can stifle emotional growth or limit the individual socially. These limitations could, in turn, create secondary anxieties or neurotic behaviors. Death anxiety is often unconscious and masked by an assortment of behaviors such as extreme individuation, enmeshment and dependency. Others can take on personality traits like the “workaholic,” or the “narcissist.” People will exhibit aggression and control in order to calm their own fears of personal limitation by attempting to enlarge one’s sphere of control; using aggression when necessary. Suicide can be considered a way to alleviate death’s anxiety; because it is an active act. It places the individual in control of what would otherwise control them. It’s the ability to master death. To conclude, the neurotic life style is generated by the fear of death; but insofar as it limits one’s ability to live spontaneously and creatively; the defense against death is itself a partial death (Yalom, 1980). Within the realm of freedom and responsibility people can be display pathological behaviors by the displacement or denial of responsibility. A person can avoid autonomous behavior by knowing what needs to be done in order to help themselves, but refuse to do the act; thus remaining dependent upon another person. This avoidance of responsibility can lead to a “learned helplessness.” Martin Seligman, “postulates that the various components of depression

14 are consequences of one’s learning early in life that outcomes are out of one’s control” (Yalom, 1980, p. 263). Isolation too, can cause elements of psychopathology. An idea such as “existing in the eyes of others,” is where the presence of another is required to make one feel real. The individual needs constant affirmation and acknowledgement of others to feel like they exist. The sexually compulsive individual does not relate to the whole human being they are with; only the part of the body which serves to meet their needs. Pathology due to the anxiety of isolation is a prime example of relationships that are of the “I-It” variety. The individual who is suffering from a form of isolative pathology uses others as tools to assuage their own feelings of anxiety. Listening To Prozac Historically speaking, a number of modes of therapy have been dependent on the concept of anxiety to witness change in individuals. The anxiety was a means to insight, which, in turn, it was the insight that would motivate a person to change aspects of their personality. The makeover of different individual’s personalities… that can make people of timid nature social butterflies, provide people who were sensitive to rejection the strength to survive and even prosper thereafter. These ideas lead me to a few concerns “Listening To Prozac” (Kramer, 1993). Two things come immediately to mind, the first is Prozac’s overall effect on society and the second is a person’s autonomy in light of the effect that Prozac has had on society. In our ever changing society has Prozac assisted in the elimination of previously adaptive temperaments. For example, if being inhibited was once considered to be virtuous trait in society and since Prozac appears to successfully reverse that attribute, what happens to the autonomy of the people who have that inherited trait? If being inhibited is no longer valued in society and in fact, in some ways punished then are people truly free to be who they are? I could see from an Existential point of view of freedom and responsibility that ultimately one has the choice to be medicated or not. There will be consequences for either, some positive, some negative, but nonetheless a choice lies at hand. If a person sincerely feels Prozac makes them a more authentic individual;

15 that does not seem to be wrong in and of it self. But, then again, if one were to seriously consider Erik Parens’ question: What are we doing when we “listen to drugs,” when we allow them to tell us which “parts” of our self are essential and which are not? What are we doing when we allow drugs to teach us that this aspect of our self is authentic and that one is alien (Parens, 2004, p. 21)?

Ethically speaking if we were to adhere to what Jean-Paul Sartre asserts in the following quote to be the “essential meaning of existentialism” then a person has to wonder if Prozac is a benefit or a detriment to society. When we say that man chooses his own self, we mean that every one of us does likewise; but we also mean by that that in making this choice he also chooses all men. In fact, in creating the man that we want to be, there is not a single one of our acts which does not at the same time create an image of man as we think he ought to be. To choose to be this or that is to affirm at the same time the value of what we choose, because we can never choose evil. We always choose the good, and nothing can be good for us without being good for all (Sartre, 1957, p. 17).

So as much as I can understand and appreciate what Prozac and other antidepressants can do to facilitate certain individuals in finding, “their true self,” I have systemic concerns about who is in charge and who will determine when or where to draw the line. I admit I have little faith in the pharmaceutical companies to be fair or honest in our capitalistic society.

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