Improving Sexual Relationships Questionaire

Improving Your Romance and Sexual Relationship Instructions: The following questions are for the eyes of you and your lover only. The biggest key to success is to answer each question honestly (both with yourself and your lover). The more honest and open you are, the more opportunity you have to grow closer to your partner emotionally, physically, and spiritually. First, have fun with the questions! If they make you laugh and giggle, great! That’s the idea. If they make you hot and horny, great! Then you know you’re on the right track. Sex is supposed to be fun, silly, and exciting. Think of it as playtime for adults. It’s not supposed to be regulated, constrained or realistic. It’s about escaping the world for a few hours to build your own world with your lover. One filled with fun, excitement, and pleasure. Second, each topic has a short set of questions designed to get you thinking. It is not necessary to answer them, but rather use them to spur ideas of your own. You MUST write down a minimum of five answers for each category. “I didn’t have the time,” will NOT be tolerated as an excuse! Make the time! No schedule is too busy or important that 15 30 min cannot be set aside for your significant other. The only excuse not to do this is to either be too afraid of exploring your own feelings and desires or simple apathy towards your lover’s efforts. Hint: neither of these reflects very positively on you, so I’d suggest thinking hard.

Suggestions that would improve your experience: What can your lover do to improve your experience of lovemaking? Does he/she need to concentrate much more on foreplay? Does he/she need to spend more time pleasuring you? Do they need to hold you after sex rather than immediately getting up to go do something else? Does your lover have horrible oral sex skills and need to improve or not practice it enough? Put things here that your lover either can start doing or try to improve on. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Ideas to better your sexual experiences: What do you think you could do for your lover to improve the experience for both of you? Do you need to be more spontaneous, adventurous, or open? Do you need to improve oral skills or learn how to give a hand job? Has your lover hinted at things he/she has wanted to do or try and you never really got around to helping them do it? Are you too predictable? Do you need to spend more time pleasuring him/her? Do you think penetration is the only final outcome to fooling around? Take some time to reflect on your beliefs and what you are bringing to the bedroom experience. Write down what you have come up with to improve or try. 1. 2.

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Sexual Accomplishments: Do you have any sexual bragging rights? What sort of sexual activities have you and your partner tried that you would consider adventurous, memorable, or fun? Did you have sex in an elevator, in the woods or some other exotic location? Have you tried different positions and found one of them to be your favorite? Did you or your lover every spontaneously have sexual experiences in an unconventional area, such as while driving somewhere, in a restroom, on a plane, etc (note: penetration is not required to have a sexual experience)? Have you ever dress up as someone else and played a part to entertain your significant other sexually? Have you ever gone to an adult store with your lover and browsed for items you can use or watch together? What are your sexual accomplishments? If you need more room, Bravo! Turn the page over. If you can’t come up with 5-10, you might be a little boring and need to “spice” it up a bit. 1.

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Experiences you wish you had done or could do again: Now, look at those experiences you just listed. Did it make you wish you could do some of those again? Which ones? Did the list make you think of things you wished you had done when the opportunity presented itself? For example, sneak off and fool around in that corn field beside a family member’s house? Or use that bike trip as an excuse to make love in the woods? It can be anything. If you can’t think of any you would like to do again, then put down a few you would like to do and go to the next section.

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How Adventurous Are You? You’ve listed your accomplishments now, what sexual activity have you engaged in that you would consider daring or adventurous? How have you and your partner ever “experimented” or pushed the boundaries of what you consider “normal” sex? Sex is personal. It’s only between you and your partner, that’s it. So, why then must we be constrained by what others think or have taught us about sex? Do whatever you want! Besides your lover, who the hell will ever know?! Take a few moments to reflect on what have you been taught about “proper” sexual behaviors. Have you been told that touching yourself is wrong or that only “dirty” and “sick” people get a thrill from having someone watch them? What makes anal sex “wrong”? You don’t have to engage in any behaviors you don’t want to or that are painful, but take some time to recognize your “perceptions” about sex and challenge them. Write down some activities you and your partner can do that will push your comfort level and give you the rush of being adventurous and naughty. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Games you’d like to play: Sex is adult playtime. It is a time for two people to laugh, giggle, moan, and PLAY! What kind of games can you think of that you can play with your partner? Strip poker? Wii for sex favors? Board games? Sex dice? Think of some sex games you can play with your lover to spice up your bedroom relationship and make your time more fun and pleasurable. Hint: try doing some research on the internet and seeing what kinds of games other couples are playing together or look at an adult online store to can get some ideas.

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Small, everyday ideas: Life isn’t lived on special occasions or by events, but rather by days and hours. To keep a relationship exciting, one must not think of “weekend plans” or that next “get away”. What kinds of things are you doing to keep the relationship exciting and your partner interesting in you? Think of how many little, “ordinary” acts you can do to excite and pleasure your lover on a day to day basis. Some examples might be: cooking dinner in your underwear or even nude one evening or immediately changing in to your pajamas or lingerie after work and laying around the house for your lover to enjoy the view or taking some racy pictures of yourself and send them to your lover via email or phone. Maybe even spontaneously performing oral sex or fondling them when they least expect it or are watching TV. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination and your lover’s preferences. For the next few minutes, write down small actions you might be able to take that will increase your partner’s pleasure, desire, and interest in you. When you finish, commit to continuously finding small things you can do for each other for the rest of your lives. 1.

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Fantasies Include your most far-fetched, “craziest”, “weirdest” ideas on these lines. Practicality does NOT apply or belong here! The idea is to pretend. Your fantasy may not be “practical”, but that doesn’t mean it is impossible to fulfill. For

example, if your fantasy is sex with multiple partners. Then perhaps you and your lover can simulate the fantasy by having sex while you are penetrated by a toy at the same time or calling each other by different names. Perhaps you’ve always secretly thought being a stripper in front of a bunch of people would actually be exciting or maybe you’ve always wanted to be Julia Roberts in the scene on the piano in the movie Pretty Woman. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to have sex on a rollercoaster. It’s even okay to have a dream of being seduced and taken on the beach in a tropical paradise. The limits are on your imagination and the possibilities are endless. So…get your pretend hat on and write down all those scenarios, experiences, and ideas you’ve ever wanted to try, no matter how kinky or outlandish they are! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Plans: Finally, in today’s helter-skelter, fast-paced environments, every relationship becomes drained and needs recharging. It is absolutely critical for couples to specifically plan getaways and evenings designed to reconnect emotionally and physically. Forget about work, the kids, parents, responsibilities and everything else and plan some time devoted just to the two of you. If you can’t do a weekend, then do a few hours. The point is to DO IT! The trip can be romantic or just plain dirty. It’s up to you and your partner. Maybe you want to shut off the phones and snuggle up on the couch for a weekend of dirty movies and sex or a weekend at a hotel in town or a few miles away and pretend to be on your honeymoon or a fall festival where you make out in the back on a hay ride or take a hike and get “lost” together. Take some time and write down some ideas for quick trips that you and your spouse can take that might recharge your sexual and emotional connection with each other. Maybe you can even work in one of you fantasies. 1.

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Extra space: This page is for any additional space you might need when you are answering questions. Just write in the topic and write until your heart is content and your arousal is high. 1.

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