Illustration 2002 05 Uk Theface

'py

u

IHM» ^ 5 - 2 0 0

\ f?

The Miami Winter Music Conference is the annual meet'n'greet for the dance industry's biggest players and wannabe superstar DJs. But it's also, as our step-by-step guide explains, an excuse for bad clothes, reckless drug binges and mindless misbehauiour. So let's haue i t ! 1 Brits abroad

sported: Derrick May, both members of Adult., and a stripper wearing a

As usual, the Florida holiday massive - sorry, business

thong swimsuit which travelled right up her back like a guitar string

people - put on quite a display. Zoe Ball broke a

(3) Southern Fried at Nash Hotel. Norman Cook rocked fellow superstar

ten-foot four-poster bod at the Astralwerks

DJs (Erik Morillo, Darren Emerson, Judge Jules) and goggle-eyed candy

party by hanging off the wooden supports.

ravers alike with a bootleg of Prince's 'I Would Die 4 U', Minimal Funk's

Norman's response: 'My wife's mad!' Then

'Definition Of House' and the Kylie/New Order power-bootleg. No one

came reports a British DJ tag team scored

really needed the ruinous penthouse afterparty, but somehow they

some crack, retired to their hotel rooms and

couldn't resist...

proceeded to go a bit 'rock'n'roll', smashing up their TV sets with a set

(4) Danny Tenaglia's 20-hour maralhon at Space was hot, dark and dirty

of golf clubs. Worse still, a DJ at the Subliminal party had to abandon his

- and that was just the outdoor terrace. Yoko Ono performed a live and

set because the ecstasy he'd taken was making him throw up. Nice

screechy version of her newly remixed 1971 B-side Open The Box'.

going, fella

Some people's ears were still ringing a week later

2 Dealer's choice

6 Ouerheard

Miami 2002 was short on big records and most of the future

Norman Cook: Everyone keeps coming up to me

pop hits, like Shakedown's 'At Night', had already been signed

and saying, "I was dancing with your wife last

prior to the conference. However, Robbie Riviera's Rokik track,

night'"... Tom Middleton: 'I have now learnt the

'Memories' (a hands-aloft house anthem akin to DB

verb, "to Miami". I have been Miami-ed... Taxi

Boulevard's 'Point Of View), was signed to Italian label Airplane for

driver (after seeing conference-goer picked up in

£200,000. UK labels, including Ministry and Credence, are now trying to

an ambulance): 'Why do people take drugs, man?

sign the record worldwide. Going price? £400,000. Meanwhile, intimate

He was vomiting white stuff... Zero 7: 'Miami is making us realise that

modernist crash palace The Hotel was the place to be seen for

LA has real soul and integrity'... Girl in boilersuit to boy in red studded

wannabe industry players. DJs, A&Rs and PRs were often to been seen

T-shirt at the Gigolo party: 'Put your hand up my ass, go on. Don't

clustered in 'meetings' over a strawberry daiquiri or two. Or three. Or...

pretend it won't feel like butter'

3 The tunes

7 Spotted!

Sex Pistols 'God Save The Queen'

Armand Van Helden/Ali G leaving the Astralwerks party... House

(Neil Barnes remix)

heavyweight Kenny Dope feasting on rice and beans at a Cuban

X-Press 2'Lazy'

restaurant... Jackass star Johnny Knoxville partying hard during the

Metro Area 4 'Daytime Parties'

Stuff magazine party at the Nash Hotel... So Solid Crew cruising

Tom Middleton 'Take Me With You'

Ocean Drive in Westwood's stretch-jeep... Yoko Ono. Chris Lowe

Blaze 'I Remember House' Josh One 'Contemplation'

and an A-Z of DJs international at the Danny Tenaglia party 8 Stats entertainmen t

-4 M i a m i s t y l e

Estimated attendance: 6,500

Looking good: Tiga's pale blue Kangol; Lottie's white

Number of parties: 109

bikini; Jacques Lu Cont, dapper in basket-weave

Average temperature (outside): 80 degrees

Northern Soul shoes. Looking for excuses: Judge Jules in a cycling top;

Average temperature (inside): Hot!

Mr C sporting a peroxide punk haircut, faux barbed wire necklace and

Percentage of parties featuring a Radio One DJ:

sleeveless red vest at the Danny Tenaglia party. Ugh

Length of stretch-jeep hired by Tim Westwood, fi he broadcast his Radio 1 show: 64 feet

5 Party...

DJs whose record box contained Neil 'Leftfield' Barnes's bootleg mix of

... 'til you puke - the best nights out in Miami were:

God Save The Queen': 2 (Pete Tong and Darren Emerson)

(1) Astralwerks at beachfront hotel Nikki Beach: proper

Hours of heavy rainfall during the Radio 1 beach party: 4

sunshine, Jacques Lu Cont (tunes: Playgroup! Peaches!

Price of strawberry daiquiri at The Hotel: £8

Shakedown!). Cassius (spinning cool Jaxx-like tracks from

Preferred ecstasy pills at WMC: The Versace (blue, tastefully imprinted

their new album) and Daft Punk (Thomas serene; Guy-

with a picture of Gianni Versace)

Man in a Transformers T-shirt). The letter's set proved strangely lacklustre, propped up by old-school house anthems.

9 M i a m i throat

But they did score the coolest musical move of the Conference,

A combination of excessive living, tropical supergerms and

opening with the Miami Vice theme tune

close proximity to hundreds of Brits who have spent years

(2) International Deejay Gigolo sleazed il up at a strip joint called Vegas

playing fast and loose with their health caused an outbreak

Cabaret. Ice-cool DJ Tiga played his own TBX mix of 'Sunglasses At

of Miami Throat'. Among those who ended up whispering like a broken

Night' and Linda Lamb delivered a trashy, gothic 'Hot Room'. Also

mobile phone - Gilles Peterson and Damien Skint' Harris. Cough!

34 THE FACE

gt

NO 64 MAY 2002 £2.00 TIE YOUR MOTHER DOWN Slim Shady Dy Mallhias Viions

05>

* • 2 9 770263 121101

Objekt: 55963 Nal'

FACE THE

ii.iKfin

VK, in t-' [)

Rcmiaufrul':

KW 24

7fl

mm 195596"309708'

iiililili

\r

I N EM FOREVER