Hrdcs- Uva-conflict-lab Scenario-3-6-07-pdf

CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO PURPOSE: To position conflict as a learning and development opportunity for increasing self-awareness and enhancing the effective management of self in conflict situations. LEARNING OBJECTIVES: A. Offer a working definition of conflict. B. Identify the types of organizational conflict and generate workable solutions C. Explore how our pre-disposition to conflict and MBTI preferences influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in conflict situations. D. Outline an action plan to support your ongoing leadership development. E. Provide a learning simulation for increasing self-awareness and enhancing your effective self-management in a conflict situation.

WORKING DEFINITION: “Conflict refers to any situation in which people have incompatible interests, goals, principles, or feelings.”

~ Conflicts Dynamics Profile, Eckerd College, 2004.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Name: ____________________________________ MBTI: __________

In preparing this assignment, we are asking that you write it in a generic framework keeping all names and other identifying information confidential. A. Research has identified five types of organizational conflicts, namely – Data, Interests, Structural, Value, and Relationships. Review the attached list describing these five types of organizational conflicts. Select one that best represents one of your current workplace challenges. (See Attachment A) Type of Conflict Selected: B. In the space below, write out a brief description of a conflict scenario that you have experienced or observed in the workplace. Include in your description responses to the following - Who, What, Why, Where, When, How.

Who (Parties)?

What (Issue?

Why (Precipitator)?

Where (Location)?

When?

How (Approach)?

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO C. Provide a brief description of the desired outcome expected from the conflict scenario described above. Desired Outcome:

D. Review the last page (Page 18) of your MBTI Report and review the direction and intensity of the 20 scale facets. (Also See Attachment B) E. In reviewing your behavior in the Conflict Scenario which of the five facets from each of your MBTI Type Letters were highly engaged at the time that this conflict scenario was taking place? F. How did the level of clarity and intensity of these scale facets influence and impact the beginning, duration, or ending of this conflict scenario? Letters

1. 2. 3. 4.

Facets / Impact

Which preference facets were helpful to the desired outcome? Which preference facets were not helpful to the desired outcome? Which alternative facets could have been helpfully deployed? What thoughts or feelings do you recall experiencing?

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO G. Given the above self-analysis (F) of how your MBTI Type Preferences were operating and influencing your behavior in this conflict scenario, what would you define as your developmental challenge, opportunity, or lesson learned from this conflict scenario? Challenge/Opportunity/Lesson:

H. Given the above self-analysis (F) and challenge identified (G) use this guide to outline an action plan for this conflict scenario: Continue Doing Start Doing –

Stop Doing -

Be More -

Be Less -

Do More -

Do Less -

I. List 1-3 questions that you would offer to other Leaders to guide them through a similar developmental opportunity. Present questions that would promote their self-discovery and be helpful toward their attaining greater self-awareness and effective self-management in relations with others within similar conflict scenarios. 1. 2. 3.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO See Attachments: A – Five Types of Conflict B – Exploring the 4-Conflict Pair Dynamics C – Self-Discovery Questions D – Excerpts –
“The Eyes of the Soul” in Coming Home by Martia Nelson, New World Library, Novato, CA, 1993.
“Three truly difficult things to do in life…” by Wayne W. Dyer in There’s A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem, HarperCollins, 2001.

References: 1. Introduction To Type And Conflict by Damian Killen & Danica Murrhy, CPP, Inc. Palo Alto, CA, 2003. 2. Effective Mediation Resources, Oregon Mediation Center, Inc. http://www.internetmediator.com/medres/pg18.cfm 3. “Why Should Anyone Be Led By You?” by Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones, HBR, Sept-Oct, 2000 https://collab.itc.virginia.edu/access/content/attachment/bbbaba49-d3ca4baa-0083-4c429a1fd016/OPENING%20READING.pdf

4. THE CONNECTED LEADER: Creating agile organizations for people, performance and profit, by Emmanuel Gobillot, Kogan Page Limited, United Kingdom, 2007.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Attachment A: Types of Conflict By evaluating a conflict according to the five categories below -- relationship, data, interest, structural and value -- we can begin to determine the causes of a conflict and design resolution strategies that will have a higher probability of success. Relationship Conflicts Relationship conflicts occur because of the presence of strong negative emotions, misperceptions or stereotypes, poor communication or miscommunication, or repetitive negative behaviors. Relationship problems often fuel disputes and lead to an unnecessary escalating spiral of destructive conflict. Supporting the safe and balanced expression of perspectives and emotions for acknowledgment (not agreement) is one effective approach to managing relational conflict. Data Conflicts Data conflicts occur when people lack information necessary to make wise decisions, are misinformed, disagree on which data is relevant, interpret information differently, or have competing assessment procedures. Some data conflicts may be unnecessary since they are caused by poor communication between the people in conflict. Other data conflicts may be genuine incompatibilities associated with data collection, interpretation or communication. Most data conflicts will have "data solutions." Interest Conflicts Interest conflicts are caused by competition over perceived incompatible needs. Conflicts of interest result when one or more of the parties believe that in order to satisfy his or her needs, the needs and interests of an opponent must be sacrificed. Interest-based conflict will commonly be expressed in positional terms. A variety of interests and intentions underlie and motivate positions in negotiation and must be addressed for maximized resolution. Interest-based

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO

conflicts may occur over substantive issues (such as money, physical resources, time, etc.); procedural issues (the way the dispute is to be resolved); and psychological issues (perceptions of trust, fairness, desire for participation, respect, etc.). For an interest-based dispute to be resolved, parties must be assisted to define and express their individual interests so that all of these interests may be jointly addressed. Interest-based conflict is best resolved through the maximizing integration of the parties' respective interests, positive intentions and desired experiential outcomes. Structural Conflicts Structural conflicts are caused by forces external to the people in dispute. Limited physical resources or authority, geographic constraints (distance or proximity), time (too little or too much), organizational changes, and so forth can make structural conflict seem like a crisis. It can be helpful to assist parties in conflict to appreciate the external forces and constraints bearing upon them. Structural conflicts will often have structural solutions. Parties' appreciation that a conflict has an external source can have the effect of them coming to jointly address the imposed difficulties. Value Conflicts Value conflicts are caused by perceived or actual incompatible belief systems. Values are beliefs that people use to give meaning to their lives. Values explain what is "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," "just" or "unjust." Differing values need not cause conflict. People can live together in harmony with different value systems. Value disputes arise only when people attempt to force one set of values on others or lay claim to exclusive value systems that do not allow for divergent beliefs. It is of no use to try to change value and belief systems during relatively short and strategic mediation interventions. It can, however, be helpful to support each participant's expression of their values and beliefs for acknowledgment by the other party. Effective Mediation Resources, Oregon Mediation Center, Inc. http://www.internetmediator.com/medres/pg18.cfm [email protected] / 410-466-9023

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Attachment B:

Introduction To Type and Conflict by Damian Killen and Danica Murry, CPP, Inc. Palo Alto, CA, 2003.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Attachment B:

Introduction To Type and Conflict by Damian Killen and Danica Murry, CPP, Inc. Palo Alto, CA, 2003.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Attachment C: The Self-Discovery Questions will be distributed upon submission by participants in time for the March 15th session.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Attachment D: “The Eyes of the Soul” in Coming Home by Martia Nelson, New World Library, Novato, CA, 1993. “My greatest teacher was the experience of living in split realities: personality and true self. Personality is our daily companion, our conscious self that sees the world through the eyes of limitation and dutifully keeps us informed about what we can and cannot do. True self, on the other hand, patiently stands by, offering the unwavering knowledge that a state of vibrant well-being and unlimited possibility is our true nature, a birthright that can be lived if we choose to do so. … True self simply refers to the aspect of our being that is completely aware of its expanded nature no matter what we may be experiencing at the time. Whenever we feel constrained, fearful, unworthy, inadequate or anything we deem to be negative, we have identified with our personality. We can always choose to view the same situation from the perspective of our soul. “ ~ Martia Nelson

“Three truly difficult things to do in life…” by Wayne W. Dyer in There’s A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem, HarperCollins, 2001. “The three truly difficult things to do in life are: 1. Returning love for hate 2. Including the excluded 3. Saying ‘I was wrong.’ "As a Witness, you begin to discover that you are not that which you have been observing; you are not those things that you have been noticing about your body. Instead, you are the noticer.” ~ Wayne Dyer

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO

SESSION AGENDA ~ Peer Coaching Simulation ~ 10:15 Opening / Overview / Purpose Organize / Guidelines / Outcomes 10:45 Triad Conflict Dialogue (Round 1) 11:00 Triad Conflict Dialogue (Round 2) 11:15 Triad Conflict Dialogue (Round 3) 11:30 Highlights of Best Practices 11:45 Epiphanies and Take-Aways 12:00

Adjournment

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Influencing Workplace Conflict Project Page 1

What does success look like?

What is difficult for you to discuss?

What do you want to preserve?

What will you use as a measure?

Who are the parties connected to your project?

What is the worried voice inside your head telling you?

What will the measure tell you?

Is this project leading you into uncharted territory?

What do you find yourself paying attention to?

What do you need to learn here?

What does your behavior tell you about your priorities?

What won’t the measure tell you? How does the selected measure drive your outcome?

What are your underlying What are the events that got you to this assumptions? point?

What are you bringing to this situation?

What moves you forward?

What aspect of this do you want help with?

How are you being helpful?

What is inhibiting your moving forward?

What are your rules of engagement?

How are you not being helpful?

What aspect of this makes you uncomfortable?

What is not being said in this situation?

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Influencing Workplace Conflict Project Page 2

Who has been included?

Can you boil down your issue into 3 main points?

What do you have to let go of or give up?

Who has been excluded?

With x-ray vision, what do you see as the core of What is the impact for you? Others? this issue?

How well have you listened?

What do you want out of this?

What in this situation are you reacting to?

How might you likely What do you want others sabotage your best efforts? to get out of this?

What emotions is his triggering?

What can you do to move toward your desired outcome?

What feelings are you avoiding?

What is the irony here?

What do you find yourself complaining about?

What is the first thing you need to get started?

What is an outrageous way to respond to this situation?

How can you more fully live this commitment or value?

What is the easiest thing to do to get started?

Where would an optimist find possibilities in this situation?

What are you getting out Where are you making it hard for yourself? of this conflict?

How would the issue look differently tomorrow?

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Influencing Workplace Conflict Project Page 3

What would going with the flow look like?

Is the position that you have taken accommodating?

How are you being influenced by your fears?

Where do you feel stuck?

Is the position that you have taken competitive?

What is in your way and what keeps it there?

What is required for you to get un-stuck?

Present your most Is the position that you compelling argument for have taken collaborative? your position?

Who needs to make the decision?

Is the position that you have taken compromising?

Place yourself in the shoes of the other party and present the opposing view. Who do you need to involve for resolving this issue?

What previous experience with conflict could you apply here?

Who else do you know that is facing a similar challenge?

How can you leverage your support?

What if this went unresolved? What would be the consequence?

What ideas could you borrow from your peers?

What is negotiable for you? Other person?

What would a wise elder in your life say about your current situation?

What strengths are you bringing to this challenge?

What perspective might be missing?

Knowing what you know about your issue, what decision needs to be made?

Is the position that you have taken avoiding?

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Influencing Workplace Conflict Project Page 4

What is the desired outcome?

What about you very apparent in this situation?

How are you dealing with the emotions?

How were you behaving at the beginning of the conflict?

What are the views of the other party?

How were you behaving during the middle of the conflict?

How would you describe your engagement?

When will you be satisfied?

How were you behaving at the ending of the conflict?

What have you done to influence resolution?

Is this conflict apparent to others?

What is working well?

What does it feel/look like when you reach your threshold?

What questions are unanswered?

What is not working well?

What is your primary focus?

What are matters on which you are placing greater emphasis?

What shifts could you make in your behavior?

How do you measure success?

How will you navigate through these issues?

What have you learned about yourself?

What do you see as the cause for this conflict situation?

What are you acknowledging?

What are you denying?

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Responding to Conflict Hot Buttons Hot Buttons are those irritations and annoyances that can provoke you into conflict. They are the situations or characteristics in others that aggravate and frustrate you, perhaps to the point where, despite knowing better, you instigate a conflict. Interactions with button pushers can leave you feeling demoralized, unmotivated, powerless, anxious, frightened, and angry (possibly enough to resort to sabotage or other destructive acts). In the workplace, Hot Buttons can lead you to be less productive, efficient, organized, and creative; they can also negatively affect your life outside of work as well as your physical and emotional well-being. The Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) contains a section dealing specifically with Hot Buttons. We've put a portion of this online so you could try it out. The Hot Buttons are only one portion of the CDP which also deals with conflict behaviors, organizational perspectives on conflict, and practical recommendations for dealing more effectively with workplace conflict. We invite you to learn more about the CDP by visiting other parts of this Web site. If you would like to take the online Hot Buttons test, please go the link below and complete the administration.

http://www.conflictdynamics.org/cdp/hotbuttons/index.php

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Hot Button Cooling Strategies Page 1

Reflective Questions • •

Why is this _____ Button hot for you rather than cool? How do you want to think/feel/respond the next time you discover that this

•

Button has been engaged? Why might you be reacting this way?

• • •

What else might be contributing to your displaying this behavior? In what alternative ways could you behave? What are some other cooling strategies that could be useful?

ABRASIVE

ALOOF

Rude am I in my speech, and little blessed with

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is

the soft phrase of peace.

not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that’s the essence of inhumanity.

~ Shakespeare (Othello) ~ George Bernard Shaw

HOSTILE

MICRO-MANAGING

Is a short madness.

We should manage this

~ Horace

matter to a “T”. ~ Lawrence Stern

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Hot Button Cooling Strategies Page 2

Reflective Questions • •

Why is this _____ Button hot for you rather than cool? How do you want to think/feel/respond the next time you discover that this

•

Button has been engaged? Why might you be reacting this way?

• • •

What else might be contributing to your displaying this behavior? In what alternative ways could you behave? What are some other cooling strategies that could be useful?

OVERLY-ANALYTICAL

SELF-CENTERED

A man/woman may dwell so long upon a thought

Egotist do not see the world with themselves

that it may take him/her prisoner.

in it, but see themselves with the world around them.

~ Lord Halifax ~ Herbert Samuel

UNAPPRECIATIVE

UNRELIABLE

The best definition of man/women is:

A wrongdoer is often a man/woman who has

An ungrateful biped.

left something undone, not always one who has done something.

~ Fedor Dostoevski ~ Marcus Aurelius

UNTRUSTWORTHY The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Responding to Conflict Page 3

Types of Responses

ActiveConstructive

PassiveConstructive

ActiveDestructive

PassiveDestructive

Specific Actions

Definition

Through some effort on

•

Perspective Taking

the individual’s part, the

•

Creating Solutions

conflict and tension have been reduced.

• •

Expressing Emotions Reaching Out

Although there has not been overt action by the

• •

Reflective Thinking Delay Responding

individual, the conflict has been dampened or deescalated

•

Adapting

Due to some action on the individual’s part, the conflict has escalated.

• • • •

Winning at all Costs Displaying Anger Demeaning Others Retaliating

Due to lack of effort or action, the individual causes conflict either to continue or to be resolved unsatisfactorily.

• • • •

Avoiding Yielding Hiding Emotions Self-Criticizing

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO Potential Consequences of Conflict Page 4

Potential Benefits of Conflict

• • • • • • •

•

Potential Costs of Conflict

Stimulates creativity and problem-

•

solving Fosters teamwork and improves social relationships Encourages listening and perspective taking Promotes reflective thinking and open communication Yields information about people and situations Signals that changes are necessary in relationships or the organization Provides the means for expressing emotions which can ultimately clear air and reduce tension

• • • • • • • • • •

Produces poor quality decisions Poisons relationships and workplace with misunderstanding and distrust Disrupts self, others and workplace Causes anger, fear, defensiveness, negativity, hurt and embarrassment Detrimental to building lasting relationships Inhibits open communication Lessens joint and individual outcomes Instigates aggression and retaliation Harms reputations Derails careers

Conflicts Dynamics Profile: Development Guide, Leadership Development Institute, Eckerd College, 2004

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