How To Survive Backpacking

INSIGFJT o, you're planning a grand adventure

with your beau. Perhaps you're picturing lavish hotel rooms covered with rose petals or long kisses in front of the Taj Mahal. lf so, stop. Although backpacking will bring fond

screaming matches when he's more interested in checking

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ACT lT UP

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WOmen,S i befatiOn WaS I

a time of glory. But when you're carryin g 20 kilograms

you'll have to intervene and speak your mind, like when

on your back, you're allowed

your boyfriend decides to

adventures, you'll be smiling in all of your travel pics.

to bend the sisterhood rules. Don't be ashamed to make

wear his smelly, sweaty clothes four days in a row Lure him into the shower and turn it on high. lf you

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BE PREPARED

pained noises or expressions. Feign resistance when he offers to carry your backpack and then just give in and enjoy.

l'm not talking about whether or not to pack a

tips to make the Iove last.

one-bedroom hotel room there's nowhere to hide. You are going to see him at his

in handy whenever you need

worst. This means enduring low hygiene levels, examining skin rashes, and witnessing

to drown out your boyfriend's voice. As soon as the glittery vamp appears, your partner

him hugging porcelain.

is no longer a problem.

THINK UP A ii GAME PLAN Before you set out to discover the world, discover what you both want. This will avoid

N T E RV E N E

out the local brews than a tour of the temples. As long as you're up for the same

memories, it also means you're more likely to share the sheets with bed bugs than your man. Follow these

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hairdryer - l'm referring to mental preparation. ln a

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R- PATZ

Bring a laptop and

a

bunch of DVDs. This will come

can scrub him down with

industrial soap, even better.

BRING BCOZ=

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My gran never drinks.

Ever. But legend has it that on a trip to lndia with my gramps,

they became stranded in a village, without electricity, and with an open sewage running through their hotel room. To relax, Gramps pulled out a whisky bottle and started drinking, Gran then grabbed the alcohol off him, downed half the bottle and slept like a bear. Moral of the story:

booze may resolve a crisis. ',,,,,',.i

BE CN GUARD

,i,i.'' From experience, I know that, when times get tough, men are likely to scream like six-year-olds. My man has been

known to use me as a human shield against running cows,

wild monkeys, and street dogs. Remember, always be ready

to defend yoursell especially against your other half. n ViSit ,1":. i:iir:.l:r ,.l;r:i.,;,ir'i',. , fOf a getaWay that doesn't involve a heavy backpack. 1.,..

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