Growth 3 - Spiritual Growth Requires Self-esteem 2008-10-19

Spiritual Growth Requires Self-Esteem

Windhoek Church of Christ Sun 19 Oct 2008 Stefan Wolmarans

Self-Esteem

Understanding Self-esteem  There are 3 views of me as an individual  The view God has of me  The opinions others have of me  The way I perceive myself

 Self-Esteem Is

 Self-esteem is my internal feelings and evaluation of myself based on my "perceived" self-image

 Self-esteem is Shaped By

 Self-esteem and self-image are closely related, based mostly on feedback during childhood  Feedback may come first from others (parents, peers, other important figures)  Reinforced by our own self-talk (what we tell ourselves)

 Healthy Self-esteem is

 Enhanced by childhood experiences - Being praised ; Being listened to; Being spoken to respectfully; Getting attention and hugs; Experiencing success in sports or school; Having trustworthy friends

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Understanding Self-esteem  Causes of Low Self-esteem  Physical appearance  Lack of education  Tragic life circumstances e.g. Broken homes, neglect, disfunctional parents , etc.  Physical or emotional abuse - Being harshly criticized, yelled at, or beaten; - Being ignored, ridiculed or teased; - Being expected to be "perfect" all the time; - Experiencing failures in sports or school. - People with low self-esteem were often given messages that failed experiences (losing a game, getting a poor grade, etc.) were failures of their whole self  Unconquered Sin

Understanding Self-esteem  The Consequences of Low Self-esteem  A critical spirit (build myself up by breaking others down, blameshifting)  Materialism (My value is in how I look or what I have)  Anxiety, stress, loneliness and depression  Problems with friendships and relationships  Impaired academic and job performance  Underachievement  Vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse  Sexual promiscuity

 These negative consequences themselves

reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behaviour

The Christian Basis for Self-Esteem  Christians have good reasons for having a healthy self-image  God does not look at us the way we look at ourselves  1 Sam 6:7 ... The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

 We have Dignity because of divine generation

 Gen 1:26, 28 ... God said, Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth ... .. God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it...  We were created in God's image  We were created to exercise dominion  1 John 4:10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  God has further demonstrated His high estimation of mankind by His love

The Christian Basis for Self-Esteem  Dignity because of spiritual regeneration  Tit 3:5 ... He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal ...  We have been regenerated  1 John 3:1 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  We are now loved as His children

 Jesus assumes or expects us to love ourselves

 Mat 22:39 ... Love your neighbour as yourself

The Christian Basis for Self-Esteem  The blessing of continued forgiveness when we sin  1 John 1:9-2:2 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

 The blessing of son-ship and God's Spirit

 Gal 4:6-7 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, Abba, Father. So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

 The blessing of God's assurance never to forsake us

 Heb 13:5-6 ... because God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

Poor Self-Esteem Hinders Spiritual Growth

 Some believe they are not capable of growing  Have you ever told yourself I could never do that I cannot change my character I cannot overcome my sin I cannot make a difference to someone’s life or the world  I just don't have the ability  I don’t have any talent    

Proper Self-Esteem Enhances Spiritual Growth  Consider the healthy self-esteem the apostle Paul had  For himself - Phil 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.  For others - Phil 1:6 ... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion

 We should have a similar estimation of ourselves

 We can do whatever God wants us to do, because Christ strengthens us!  We may not all do the same, but we can contribute much to the glory of God!  1 Pet 4:10-11 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever.

 Instead of making excuses, tell yourself: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

Practical Steps For Improving Self-Esteem

 Identify and accept your strengths and    

weaknesses - everyone has them, no one is perfect Take an "I can" attitude and offer yourself encouragement along the way Set realistic goals, and then take joy in your achievements (giving God the glory!) Be thankful of who you are and the way God created you Eliminate negative self-talk

You Say, God Says For each negative thing we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer  You say: "It's impossible“ - God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)  You say: "I'm too tired“ - God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)  You say: "Nobody really loves me“ - God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)  You say: "I can't go on“ - God says: My grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9 )  You say: "I can't figure things out“ - God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)  You say: "I can't do it“ - God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)  You say: "I'm not able“ - God says: I am able (2 Corinthians 9:8)  You say: "It's not worth it“ - God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)  You say: "I can't forgive myself“ - God says: I forgive you (1 John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)  You say: "I can't manage“ - God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)  You say "I'm afraid“ - God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7)  You say: "I'm worried and frustrated“ - God says: Cast all your cares on ME (1 Peter 5:7)  You say: "I don't have enough faith“ - God says: I've given you faith (Romans 12:3)  You say: "I'm not smart enough“ - God says: I give you wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:30)  You say: "I feel alone“ - God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

Summary  Poor self-esteem is a major hindrance to spiritual growth

 We make excuses for not trying  We often give up before we make progress

 Spiritual growth greatly enhances self-esteem  As we grow, our achievements encourage us to do more  As we grow, we gain confidence that we are on the right track

 Rather than let a mistaken estimation of self to hinder our service to God

 Allow God's estimation of us to enhance our self-image and self- esteem  Allow God's estimation of us to encourage the spiritual growth He desires -- We will feel better about ourselves when we do!

Heart Check  Do I believe that God believes in me?  Do I believe that I can grow?  Do I put myself down with negative selftalk?