Flee Youthful Lusts!

1

Flee Youthful Lusts!

2 “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). l An apology to the reader: In this chapter, there are some words which may be too frank for you. However, I found it necessary to be specific so that you may be transformed and God will be glorified. “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened” (Ephesians 1:18) that you may understand how you may have committed adultery (Proverbs 6:32; Hosea 4:14) and avoid it. The media teaches its own morality. In TV programs, movies and magazines, it is very common to see those who ‘love each other’ kissing and going to bed. Homosexuality and lesbianism, which used to be shameful, are now bandied as acceptable alternative lifestyle. Actors, singers, directors and others in the movie industry are no longer ashamed of it. What makes it worse, many are following their examples. WHY FORBIDDEN SEX IS NOT BEST FOR YOU 1. FORBIDDEN

SEX CAN DESTROY YOUR OWN BODY.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18) According to the Barnes New Testament: ‘The sense is, “It wastes the bodily energies; produces feebleness, weakness, and disease; it impairs the strength, enervates the man, and shortens life.” Were it proper, this might be proved to the satisfaction of every man by an examination of the effects of licentious indulgence. Those who wish to see the effects stated may find them in Dr. Rush ‘On the Diseases of the Mind’. Perhaps no single sin has done so much to produce the most painful and dreadful diseases, to weaken the constitution, and to shorten life, as this. Other vices, as gluttony and drunkenness, do this also; and all sin has some effect in destroying the body; but it is true of this sin in an eminent degree.” This may mean death to you: “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife— with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death” (Leviticus 20:10). You may complain, ‘But that is for the Jews in those days! Jesus did not condemn an adulterer caught in the act! (John 8:3-11). Even if your government will not give you such punishment for adultery, the spouse may give it: “But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself … for jealousy arouses a husband’s fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. He will not accept any compensation; he will refuse the bribe, however great it is” (Proverbs 6:3235).

3 Indeed, when you commit adultery with someone’s spouse, if the spouse takes revenge, he/she will show no mercy. 2. FORBIDDEN

SEX CAN GIVE YOU PERMANENT SHAME AND DISGRACE AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.

“But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away” (Proverbs 6:32-33). 3. FORBIDDEN

SEX AFFECTS YOUR SOUL.

“ Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11). Worst of all, if you continue and die in that sin, you will not go to heaven: “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders” (1 Corinthians 6:9). Are you being tempted to commit adultery? … Remember that it can have evil effects on your body, name and eternal destiny! Having seen the negative results of forbidden sex, you might now ask: WHAT KINDS OF SEXUAL ACTS ARE FORBIDDEN? “And you shall not give your semen to your neighbor’s wife [by] lying [with her]” (Leviticus 18:20 Green’s Literal Translation). 1. SEXUAL

INTERCOURSE WITH OR COVETING ANOTHER’S SPOUSE

Now you may say, ‘I have not had sexual intercourse with another’s wife!’ That is good! However, sexual intercourse with another’s spouse is not the only thing forbidden: “…. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife…” (Exodus 20:17). Yes, the following is also a sin: 2.

DESIRING ANOTHER’S SPOUSE

Someone complained, “We are not sinning—both of us are not married!” That is a faulty reasoning! It is common knowledge that a prostitute may not be married. However, she may commit adultery: “…He has condemned the great prostitute who corrupted the earth by her adulteries” (Revelation 19:2).

4 One way by which she commits adultery is by becoming one flesh with a man: “…. Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1 Corinthians 6:15-16). We can see here that if you have had sexual intercourse with a prostitute (whether she is paid for it [Luke 15:30] or not [Ezekiel 16:33-34]), you have already sinned. Thus, the following is also a sin: 3. SEXUAL

INTERCOURSE WITH AN UNMARRIED PERSON

You need to avoid not only sexual intercourse with someone not your spouse but you are also to avoid … 4. BURNING

LUSTS TOWARD AND

INDECENT

ACTS WITH THE SAME SEX

“You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.” (Leviticus 18:22 NAS) “Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, that their bodies might be dishonored among them… For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error” (Romans 1:24-27 NAS). If you have committed these homosexual or lesbian sins, pray this way: “God, I agree with what my sex organ tells me. I am a man/woman! I am not a homosexual/lesbian! It is an abomination and a sin to have sexual motives and activities with the same sex. Remove the burning desire in me for the same sex.” 5. SEXUAL

INTERCOURSE WITH AN ANIMAL

Also you shall not have intercourse with any animal to be defiled with it, nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion” (Leviticus 18:23; Exodus 22:19 NAS). Suggested Prayer if you committed this sin: “Lord, I agree that I have sinned against you in having sexual intercourse with another other than my spouse. I shall now fill my thoughts with your Word that I may be freed from continuing in that sin.” 6. UNCOVERING

THE NAKEDNESS OF A BLOOD RELATIVE:

“None of you shall approach any blood relative of his to uncover nakedness; I am the LORD. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father, that is, the nakedness of your mother. She is your mother; you are

5 not to uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife; it is your father’s nakedness. The nakedness of your sister, [either] your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether born at home or born outside, their nakedness you shall not uncover. The nakedness of your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter, their nakedness you shall not uncover; for their nakedness is yours. The nakedness of your father’s wife’s daughter, born to your father, she is your sister, you shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s sister; she is your father’s blood relative. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister, for she is your mother’s blood relative. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s brother; you shall not approach his wife, she is your aunt. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law; she is your son’s wife, you shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife; it is your brother’s nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of a woman and of her daughter, nor shall you take her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter, to uncover her nakedness; they are blood relatives. It is lewdness. And you shall not marry a woman in addition to her sister as a rival while she is alive, to uncover her nakedness (Leviticus 18:6-18 NAS). “Thus, any kind of sexual activity involving the uncovering of the nakedness of another person who is not a lawful wife or husband [including acts that fall short of sexual intercourse] oversteps God’s boundaries of purity and is serious sin against Him and His law.” (Full Life Study Bible)

For male reader: Have you uncovered the nakedness of your mother or father’s wife (Leviticus 18:7-8; 1Corinthians 5:1)? … aunt (v.12-13)? … father’s brother’s wife (v.14)? … sister from one or both parents (v.9,11)? … wife’s sister, daughter/daughter-in-law or granddaughter (v.10,17,18)? … wife of your brother or son (v.15,16)? … If so, confess it to God. For female reader: Have you uncovered the nakedness of your son or your husband’s (Leviticus 18:7-8)? … your nephew or your husband’s (v.1214) … your brother from one or both parents (v.9,11)? … the husband of your sister, mother or grandmother (v.10,17,18)? … brother/father-in-law (v.15,16)? … If so, confess it to God. Note that marriage of cousins is not forbidden in Leviticus 18 though you may chose to not allow it because of the law of the land where you live. But if cousins are married, do not judge them. Caleb, who followed God fully (Joshua 14:8) gave his daughter as wife to her cousin (Joshua 15:17). You may be saying, “I have not done any of the sins you have mentioned!” Good for you, but notice that there are … ACTS THAT LEAD TO SEXUAL ACTIONS WHICH DOES NOT PLEASE GOD 1. LOOKING

WITH A LUSTFUL PURPOSE.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I

6 say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” This is what Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-29 (NASB). Thus, looking with a lustful purpose is already adultery! You do not only sin by looking lustfully. Just by your motive, you can already sin! The question is ‘Why did you look?’ If you already know that there is something lustful there, why did you still look? Even if you do not feel any lust at that time, if your motives are evil, you already sin! Have you watched a lustful movie? ...gazed at a lustful picture? ... Have you read a lustful magazine? ... Have you peeped? ... If you will not stop in your sin, according to Matthew 5:29, your whole body will go to hell. If you are saying, ‘I’m not affected by the evil things I see!’ That is good! However, beware that you do not cause others to sin by the way you dress. “Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come” (Luke 17:1). “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” (Mark 9:42) “ I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes” (1 Timothy 2:9). The Full Life Study Bible comments, “The word decency… implies a certain shame in exposing the body. It involves a refusal to dress in such a way as to draw attention to the body and to pass the boundaries of proper reserve.” Did you feel shame the first time you wore a seductive dress? … Then do not wear it again! In the way you dressed, acted or spoke, have you caused one who is not your spouse to look lustfully at you? … Woe to you! This is especially true when you cause believers in Jesus to sin—your punishment will be terrifying unless you receive forgiveness for that sin! 2. SINS

OF THE HAND

MASTURBATION I’d like to ask the male reader of this book: Suppose you see a naked woman and no one sees you, what is the next part of your body that would most likely sin? … In your sincere answer to that question, you may now understand why Jesus said after the eye sinned:

7 “ And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:30). Should you say, “But I don’t use my right hand!”, remember that Jesus also said: “If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out” (Mark 9:43). How can your hand sin? Paul says: “What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!” (Romans 6:21) One of the sins a person may be ashamed of is masturbation. It may make his clothes unclean: “When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening” (Leviticus 15:16-17). A man may have seminal emission naturally when his semen increases. That is not sin. However, if he causes it to come out through masturbation, he sins. If he did it with his garments on, he makes them unclean and stained by flesh (his evil desires): “save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh” (Jude 1:23 NAS). You may sin with your hand by going beyond the boundaries of your physical intimacy: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; [that is], that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; [and] that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is [the] avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned [you]. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 NAS). You can see from this verse that you are not to imitate those who do not know God. You are not to follow what you see on TV, in the movies or in any reading material made by those who are not close to God. You are also not to transgress or defraud another believer. To transgress is to go beyond the boundaries. In Job 24:2 of the Septuagint (a translation of the Hebrew Old Testament into Greek), the same

8 Greek word is used. It means to move boundaries “Boundaries, men move back, flocks, they seize and consume…” (Job 24:2 Rotherham). You should set limits to your physical intimacy with your girlfriend and neither of you should cross the boundaries. Here’s one thing you should not do: CARESSING

THAT ARE FOR MARRIED COUPLES ONLY

… Abimelech king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah. So Abimelech summoned Isaac and said, “She is really your wife! Why did you say, ‘She is my sister’?”…. (Genesis 26:8-9). When others see your physical intimacy, would they not think you are married? If so, you have crossed the boundary! To defraud is to take advantage--a work of Satan. We should live in a way “that Satan might not outwit us” (2 Corinthians 2:11) When you defraud or wrong a person, you also corrupt and exploit him. Paul says: “…. We have wronged no-one, we have corrupted no-one, we have exploited no-one” (2 Corinthians 7:2). TOUCHING

THE BREASTS

&

KISSING

In describing Israel’s sin, God talked about what happened with prostitutes. He said: “They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. …. She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her. …. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled” (Ezekiel 23:3,8,21). It is clear from these verses that one of the things done to prostitutes is that their breasts were fondled and caressed. In describing the actions of an adulterous wife who was dressed like a harlot and was seducing a man, Solomon said: “…. So she seizes him and kisses him… “ (Proverbs 7:6-27 NAS). To the female reader: Would you like to be treated like a prostitute or an adulteress by your boyfriend? … If not, then, don’t let him touch your breast or any other sensitive part of your body nor kiss you as adulterers would in preparation for sexual intercourse!

9 To the male reader: Do you want to be married to a prostitute or an adulteress? … If not, don’t treat your girlfriend like one! Respect her! “.... Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1-2) Would you have touched or kissed your girlfriend or boyfriend in the way you have done it if she or he were your mother, brother or sister? If you would, you have crossed the boundary! Don’t do it again! 3. SEDUCTIVE

SPEECH, ATTIRE AND LOOKS

Because you know your boy/girlfriend’s weakness, did you do something to cause him/her to fall? … How did you do it? Did you use the same speech and body language that an immoral woman uses? “keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes” (Proverbs 6:24-25). Did your attire seduce a person? … Have you talked to him/her in a way that he/she could not resist? … Did you use seductive words?… Have you done something that “turned others on” to have immoral actions or thoughts? Did you sing songs about sexual intercourse? … Did you dance the way prostitutes dance on stage, moving as they would in sexual intercourse with humans or animals? … 4. INTIMATE

FRIENDSHIP OF A MARRIED PERSON TO ANOTHER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.

A husband had a problem with his wife. He shared it with his female officemate. She gave him ‘favor’ by listening to him. He returned the favor by helping her do the shopping … Later, they had sexual intercourse. Yes, their friendship ended up in fornication. Does this mean if you are married, you are not to have friends of the opposite sex? To answer this question, let us first consider the following verse: “Ye adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore would be a friend of the world maketh himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:4 ASV) … Whoever, then, purposes to be a friend of the world is shown to be an enemy of God.” (LIT). “…. an enemy of God he is set.” (YLT) The word for friend here does not imply sexual relationship. A person is a friend of another if he does what the other tells him (John 15:14), like the friend of the bridegroom rendering him “various services in closing the marriage and celebrating the nuptials (3:29) or the friend of the centurion relaying his message to Jesus (Luke 7:6). He does favor for his friend (23:12), even at an inconvenient time (11:5,6,8).

10 A friend also reveals intimate things about his family and activities (John 15:15). He believes in him (James 2:23). He does not speak evil against his friend (John 19:12). He invites or is invited by the other to eat or drink with him (Luke 14:10,12; 7:34; Matthew 11:19), sometimes in his dwelling (Luke 16:9). They have fun times together (15:6,9,29). He refreshes him (Acts 27:3). He associates himself with the other even if that would mean being degraded in the eyes of others (Matthew 11:19; Luke 7:34). When the friendship becomes so deep, he may even be willing to die for him (John 15:13). Having understood what the word ‘friend’ means, let us consider when such friendship becomes adulterous: The church is the bride of the Son of God (John 3:29; Revelation 19:7). The friendship that the world offers is enmity with God—He hates it. Therefore, the church member who desires and purposes to be a friend of the world—to reciprocate the friendship that the world offers—sets himself to become a spiritual adulterer and thus and enemy of God. Such is a picture of how adultery can be committed. In the case mentioned earlier, the woman offered friendship by listening to the husband. He then reciprocated by helping her with her shopping. If I were the wife’s father, I would have become angry when the woman listened to the husband. The husband would become my enemy if he purposes to do favor for her. I would be outrageous when they later commit physical fornication. What do you do when you have marital problems? Do you seek comfort from another of the opposite sex? … Do you trust him/her? … Do you tell him/her about your problems? … even intimate things about your life and family background? … Do you ask favors from him? … Can you do these to him even in inconvenient times? …Do you feel refreshed with him/her? … What if a married person of the opposite sex has a problem with his spouse? Do you spend time listening to him/her alone? … Do you eat food together? … Do you comfort him/her? … Do you listen to him sharing intimate things about his/her family? … Do you avoid speaking evil against him/her? … Do you seek to protect him/her from harm? … Do you make merry with him/her? … Do you give favors for him/her? … even when others speak evil of you? … The degree to which you answer these questions in the affirmative shows how deep your friendship with him/her. That shows the degree of danger of you are toward committing physical adultery! Do you have this thought sometimes, “I wish my spouse were like him/her!” Be honest with yourself. Are you not already committing adultery with him/her in your heart? … If your spouse, knowing this relationship, would be jealous or someone close to him/her would be jealous for her, that is a protection for you from the Lord. If you say, “He/she is just a friend!” That shows that you have

11 crossed the dangerous boundary! I urge you, flee! If you have transgressed or defrauded a person, whether a male or female, stop it now! Otherwise, God will punish you! “and that in this matter no-one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you.” (1 Thessalonians 4:6) Our sexuality is a good and perfect gift of God. It is like a beautiful river. It is beautiful when it flows in its natural course. However, it is destructive when it goes beyond its natural boundaries. In the same way, those who have gone beyond the sexual boundaries of the Bible end up in grief, anxiety, regrets, tears and trouble. If you have transgressed or defrauded someone, confess it to God: Sample Prayer: “Lord, forgive me for transgressing or defrauding some by gazing, speaking and acting with a lustful purpose. I have kissed a person torridly or touched sensitive parts of his/her body.” TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MOST PLEASING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH YOUR SPOUSE: 1. Resolve not to gaze at a person (a man or woman) to lust for him/her. Follow David’s and Job’s resolution: “I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men I hate; they shall not cling to me (Psalms 101:3).” “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl (Job 31:1).” 2. Avoid shows, movies, reading articles or even radio programs or music which stimulate you sexually. We are being warned: “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?” (Proverbs 6:27) “but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed” (James 1:14). Instead, read something that will draw you closer to God. 3. Set clear boundaries between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. Avoid touching or kissing sensitive parts of his/her body. Avoid places that are dark or isolated (such as movie houses, motels and even alone in one’s house). That way, neither of you will be tempted to transgress nor defraud the other. Instead join others in their ministries—like witnessing, leading Bible studies, etc. 4. If you are married, it is not advisable to develop an intimate friendship with the opposite sex. It’s not only that it is improper but it is also very dangerous for a married person to completely confide in someone belonging

12 to the opposite sex. Many who claimed to be spiritually related to God, even spiritual leaders, eventually fell into sexual sin due to closeness and overbonding with a person whom they consider only from the beginning as their friends. 5. Regularly meet with a mature Christian or a Christian group of your gender. “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:12-13). It is shameful and inappropriate to confess sexual sins like masturbation to a person belonging to the opposite sex other than your spouse. So chose from the members of that group one that is ready to come alongside you— understand, pray for, remind, strengthen and advise you. If you cannot find someone to help, if you are married, you may ask your spouse to help. If ever you share how you have been defeated by sin, be careful that you do not give Satan the glory nor encourage others to dwell on things that are not pure, lovely and of good repute (Philippians 4:8). Avoid talking in details about sexual sins. It would be enough to go through what is written in this book. In your group, do not laugh at any sin that will be shared—like engaging in homosexual activities. Do not even joke with someone related to his being a homosexual or lesbian. Be sure that you do not act judgmentally about the sins that will be confessed. Doing so would add pain and difficulty to someone who may be ashamed already of the sin (Romans 6:21)! 6. If the testimony of your group or church has been affected by a sin you have committed, tell it to a group leader of the same gender. Ask him to help you and do whatever is necessary to clean whatever stains you have produced that the name of God and that of your group may no longer be criticized (2 Samuel 12:14). 7. If God has given you the ability to control yourself, you may choose to remain unmarried and pursue devotion to the Lord not distracted by the troubles in this life (1Corinthians 7:25-38). If you choose to marry, be married to a believer after getting godly and scriptural advice (vv.1-2, 7-9, 39-40) as a confirmation that you heard from God (John 10:27). 8. If you are married, have sexual intercourse with your spouse whenever you or your spouse wants it (1Corinthians 7:3-6). 9. If you have lived-in with another, ask God for strength. Make restitution before judgment comes upon you and you go to hell with your live-in partner (Luke 3:7-14). Stop sexual intercourse with him/her and ask forgiveness from him/her. Read this chapter to him/her. If he/she becomes guilty of his/her sin too, and he/she is not married, ask him/her to look with you for a marriage counselor who knows God and who can help you get closer to God and be married in a ceremony which need not be expensive

13 (Exodus 22:16-17; 1Corinthians 7:13-16). You may try to contact 700 Club at 1800-1-888-8700 for toll-free counseling. You may also try to contact me at +639178481928 or [email protected]. If he/she does not want to be married or if one of you is married to another and the two of you have kids as a result of your fornication, discuss with him/her how you can contribute to the children’s needs and explain to them what you will do. Ask forgiveness from them too. Leave your live-in partner as soon as you have arranged for these things. If you are married, after leaving your live-in partner, be reconciled to your spouse (1Corinthians 7:11). Bring to your spouse some flowers or whatever pleases him/her. Ask forgiveness from him/her. If he/she rejects you, pursue him/her as what a man does in courting a single woman. Since he/she remains as your spouse, seek to please him/her (v.33). Keep on doing good to him/her. Persevere. Give him/her time to heal of his/her emotions. If you have children by him/her, do these same things with them. Perhaps, if you get reconciled with them, they may help you reconcile with your spouse. 10. You are commanded by the Lord not to separate from your spouse (1Corinthians 7:10; Matthew 19:6), especially when your hard heart leads you to seek divorce (Matthew 19:8; 1Corinthians 7:27). Divorce breaks faith with the marriage covenant partner (Malachi 2:14). God wants you to remain as one because He is seeking godly offspring (v.15). But with divorce, your children becomes unclean (1Corinthians 7:12-14) like demons (Matthew 12:43). That is why God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). If your spouse is an unbeliever and is willing to live with you, stop leaving him/her or sending him/her away (1Corinthians 7:12-13). Staying with him/her may save him/her (v.14). But if your spouse leaves, let him/her do so. In such a case, you are not under bondage to hinder him/her from leaving you (v.13) even if you are financially in bondage to (dependent upon) him/her. Continue to seek God’s kingdom and righteousness and expect Him to supply your food and clothing (Matthew 6:25-34; Deuteronomy 28:1-14). Appendix III shows that a man can divorce his wife only if: she is related to him according to Leviticus 18:6-18; ‘she’ is of the same sex or an ‘animal’ (18:22-23); her first husband is still alive (Romans 7:2-3); after being married and before coming together, she commits sexual intercourse with another (Matthew 1:29). The wife can divorce her husband for the same grounds. If your spouse committed adultery, instead of divorce or annulment, follow the way of love (1Corinthians 14:1). Love him/her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), as God loves the Israelites and as Hosea loved her adulterous wife (Hosea 3:1). Like Christ who does not divorce us or replace us for being adulterous (James 4:4), do not divorce him/her nor replace her. Seek to be reconciled to him/her (1Corinthians 7:11). Convince him/her to live with you for the sake of your children. If he/she agrees, it may make his/her and your children sanctified (1Peter 3:1-2) and not remain unclean. Pursue your spouse and snatch him/her out of the fire

14 (Jude 1:23) as in item #8 above. Don’t give up hope unless God takes your spouse’s life and bring him/her to hell (Revelations 21:8). 11. If he/she physically or verbally abuses you and/or your children or he/she hinders you from obeying God that staying with him would be participating in his deeds of darkness (Ephesians 5:11), you may separate from your spouse. However, remain unmarried or else be reconciled to your spouse (1Corinthians 7:10-11). 12. If you and your spouse get divorced, and at least one gets remarried to another, you should no longer return to each other (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

Grounds for Divorce or Annulment In situations where a spouse commits adultery, the aggrieved party have considered divorcing the spouse. In countries like the Philippines, some think of having their marriage annulled. But what does Jesus say? “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Mattthew 5:32 NKJV) “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (19:9 NKJV) It is evident from this passage that the ground for divorce was only “sexual immorality” or “fornication” (KJV). Now the question is what kind of fornication is included here? Fornication was also used of adultery (Hosea 3:1,3 LXX). The question is which kind of adultery is a ground for divorce. Surely not all adultery are grounds for divorce. Otherwise, when a man looks on a woman to lust for her, his wife can already divorce him for adultery in his heart (Matthew 5:28)? Let us now see which kinds of fornication are grounds for divorce: “2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” (Romans 7:2-3) Have you discovered that your spouse was previously married to another who is still alive? Then your marriage is null and void. If your government considers it valid, you can work for an annulment of your marriage. You can marry because you were deceived and hence was never truly married! Thus … 1. A person can divorce his spouse if the latter's first spouse is still alive.

15 An example of an adulteress for two reasons was Herodias. First, she married while her husband was still alive. Secondly, she married brothers (Mark 6:18; Leviticus 18:16; 1Corinthians 5:1). Fornication was also used to describe homosexual and lesbian acts (Romans 1:29, 26-27). Thus, those in same-sex marriages are also fornicators. If through man’s wickedness, the wife was redefined so that ‘she’ is actually another ‘man’, a man can divorce his ‘wife’. In the same way, if in the future, it becomes worse that an animal can become a wife, the man should divorce his ‘wife’ and should have the animal killed (Leviticus 18:22-23; 20:15-16). The man need not be killed (John 8:1-11). This brings us to the second ground for divorce: 2. A man can divorce his wife if ‘she’ is his mother / sister / (grand)daughter / niece /aunt (or in-law) of the same gender or an ‘animal’ (Leviticus 18:6-18) . What about the husband whose wife committed adultery? Can he divorce him? God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute (Hosea 1:2). Thus, fornication before marriage is not a ground for not being one as husband and wife. and thus is also not a ground for divorce. Joseph thought Mary committed sexual intercourse before they came together (Matthew 1:19). Notice that Matthew also says that contemplating divorce is an evidence that Joseph was righteous. Hence:

3.

A man can divorce his wife if after being married and before sexual intercourse, she commits sexual intercourse with another.

After Hosea married Gomer, she committed fornication again. God’s counsel for Hosea was not to divorce Gomer for such sin (Hosea 3:1,3). Thus, if your situation is like that of Hosea, God tells you the same thing (Psalm 33:11). You are to love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her (Ephesians 5:25). If you are willing to die for your wife, can you not suffer for her while she is still sinning? In your mind, check (þ) any sin you may have done: I HAVE COMMITTED ADULTERY BY: ¨ Having sexual intercourse with someone who is ¨ not my spouse (Leviticus 18:20; 20:10; Exodus 20:17; Rev. 19:2) ¨ of the same sex as mine (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:24-27) ¨ an animal (Leviticus 18:23) ¨ my parent/ sibling/(grand)child/nephew/niece/aunt/uncle (or in-law) (Leviticus 18:6-18) ¨ Marrying though my spouse is still alive (Romans 7:2-3; 1Corinthians 7:39). ¨ Transgressing or defrauding another (1Thessalonians 4:3-7) by: ¨ looking to lust (Matthew 5:27-29; Exodus 20:17), peeping, reading, hearing or watching pornographic newspapers, magazines, books,

16 stories, movies, etc. ¨ seductive attire, words and actions (Proverbs 6:12,13,24,25). ¨ uncovering his/her nakedness (Leviticus 18:6-18) ¨ lustful embracing, kissing, or touching of sensitive parts of his/her body (Proverbs 5:20; 7:13; Ezekiel 23:3,8,21). ¨ Masturbation (Matthew 5:30). ¨ Making myself a friend of the opposite sex when at least one of us is engaged or married (James 4:4) by revealing family secrets to him/her, obeying and defending him/her (John 15:13-15). Suggested prayer: God, I no longer want to give Satan an opportunity by following the sinful desires of my body. Instead, I will now use it in righteousness for your glory alone. As you pray this prayer and follow these suggestions, if you are married or should God want you to be married, be prepared for maximum satisfaction in your sex life with your spouse. That you may be protected from sexual sins, meditate again on this passage: “ Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters, nor adulterers nor male prostitutes , nor homosexual offenders… will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9). If you want to be forgiven in any of the sins listed here, you may write me at [email protected]. You may also want to read this 2 page link: http://www.pdfcoke.com/doc/22396398/Do-You-Want-to-Always-be-with-Godwho-Reigns. Questions for Discussion: (Suggest a partnership among the members of the group with the same gender, one being able to be the brother keeper later. Once each accept a partner, ask each one to share his answer to the following.) 1. Are you committing not to gossip what you will hear from your partner? 2. After reading this chapter, what would you want to avoid?