Failure Exemption

Failure Exemption Instructions: When the company has experienced a setback that may negatively affect your work situation, complete this form and post it outside your office or cubicle before your supervisor starts looking for you. Complete a separate form for each failure. Note: For more than three failures, consider omitting forms and simply quitting. Your name: __________________________________________ Position/role: _______________________________________

I [was] / [may possibly be] blamed for the following failure: Possible unjust pretext(s) for blaming me:

Date/time of failure: __________________________________  future/hypothetical Type(s) of failure [check all that apply]:  performance  schedule  budget  personnel  demeanor  personal hygiene  faith in humanity

Scope of failure:  project  event  incident  behavior  organization

 seemingly incriminating memo, e-mail, or conversation

 grossly/wilfully misinterpreted  I never sent/said it

 attitude  hygiene  attendance  taste in music  race/creed/color  disability  unfortunate haircut  just looked at _____________________ the wrong way  Other: ________________________________________

 relationship  doctrine  philosophy/belief system

I am blameless for this/these reason(s):

 fiscal year  entire company forevermore  other

 I am in management

Description of failure: ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ [Optional]

 I was just following orders  my co-workers, not that I want to go into detail  excessive workload  excessive playload  exhaustion  amnesia  disability  disease or injury  children  I knew nothing/nobody told me anything

 despite my repeated requests

 Other: ____________________________________________

Blame should instead fall on this/these more deserving target(s):

Target name

[Optional]

 I am not in management

Position/role

Reason

Importance of role in failure

I suggest this/these punishment(s) for the deserving target(s):

 taunting  breakroom dishwashing  push-ups (#: _____)  reprimand  demotion  dismissal  a day in the stocks  all-hands company meeting where target(s) is/are forced to debase themselves like audience members at a stage hypnosis show  something involving this implement(s): _______________________________________  I don’t know, use your imagination

Copyright ©2009 Ninjalistics. Written by Allen Varney. Find new ways to evade responsibility with the many forms available free at www.ninjalistics.com