so... my 360 got the RRoD about a year ago... I fixed it myself with some screws and washers, and all was well... until disaster struck this morning I fired up mah console, and the three devilish light glowed with muster I gasped! with the nimbleness of a fox, I leaped to the outlet and pulled with the strength and fury of a thousand gods! How could I have been forsaken? surely the work of.. THE DEBIL anywho, I frantically searched my room for my 360 opening kit... BUT WHERE COULD IT BE!? in the closet? nay under the bed? nay in the garage! YES with kit in hand, the venture to my bedroom was fierce my hands were sweaty with anticipation... my heart beating. half with excitement and the other with fear ever so gently, off came the faceplate my hands were shaking now... Off came the top cover with an unsettling POP! the forest green motherboard... the copper heatsink.. and the demeaning grey hard drive looked me in the eye The work of my washers and screws from a year ago still shone with the craftsmanship of an artisan With thoughtful ease, the heatsink and hard drive were dislodged A tool of special importance, the screwdriver, was in hand... The craftiness of the hands that held that tool were too crafty for human eyes... lucky, I was not human I WAS OMNISCIENT with screwdrivers recalibrated correctly, my work was nearly complete... ...or so I thought... the hard drive was replaced, as well as the heat sink... but I felt something amiss in my omniscient bones... with the entire unit reassembled, I hesitantly prodded at the circular icon... green lights shone like a beacon of hope in the blackest abyss! I heaved a sigh of relief I drank from a well to renew my parched throat, which had become so while tending to my tedious task I looked down at the circle, to see the fruits of my labor once more and my blood runs cold my eyes swell with mercy there... was not a prestigious green light dancing upon the circle.. but.. TWO DEVILISH RED EYES WHY have the gods cursed me with this torment!? Blackness came over me, and my skull began to throb (interlude) The rain pattered strongly on the windowsill as I came to my vision slowly began to return as I picked myself up from the cool carpet I looked around wearily, until my eyes rested on the source of my destruction... but I would not succumb to this instrument of evil. no. the omniscient soul within my body would not be bound to torment from this chaos. Reaching purposely towards the outlet once again, I yanked the cord free for its bonds. The kit was still lying on the desk, and I picked up the only tool I had against this demon. The screwdriver... Again, off came the faceplate. Again, off came the top cover. And again, the guts of the demon were laid before me. My mind was racing.. "How do I resolve this witchcraft's spell of evil?" It was at that moment, I realized what I needed to do... An old friend of mine would know the answer, for he was in expert in the ways of knowledge. Google, was thy allies name I asked Google, "What is the reason for this witchcraft's anger!?" Google replied, "My son.. You know the answer within your heart.." Confused and angry, I was. "The answer..." I wondered..., "I know the answer.. But what could it be!?" I reflected on what I had previously asked the might Google... What is the reason for this witchcraft's anger... It dawned on me like a brick hitting my cranium with a mighty thud It Was ANGRY therefor, the answer must be... to COOL DOWN this anger! The rest of this mystery was simple for such an omniscient being such as myself. Tucked away behind the deepest guts of the demon lied to key to this riddle Rectangular and holy... lied what the commoners referred to as ... "The Fan" With my deft swiftness and valiant bravery, The Fan was in my control Like a feather swooping back and forth through crisp air, The Fan had come to its final resting place on top of the witchcraft's anger, or as
non omniscient beings called, "The Heatsink" Feeling the satisfaction that only comes with being omniscient, I descended to the outlet once more... With an ease unknown to anyone else, the tail of the demon with securely fastened to the wall With steady hands now, I reached to the circular emblem that had mocked me twice before, and pushed, listening for the satisfying 'click' The demon roared to life once more, but not with anger in its eyes, but renown kindness that lifted spirits And now, I end this tale. This tale of mighty obstacles bounded by omniscient beings. This tale... of hope.