Emotions, Life And Happiness

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Freedom Day! How To Master Your Emotions © 2009

ByBy JoTony BrownRizk

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Freedom Day - How To Master Your Emotions © 2009

Disclaimer And Terms Of Use Agreement The author and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this report. The author and publisher make no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this report. The information contained in this report is strictly for educational purposes. Therefore, if you wish to apply ideas contained in this report, you are taking full responsibility for your actions. The author and publisher disclaim any warranties (express or implied), merchantability, or fitness for any particular purpose. The author and publisher shall in no event be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, punitive, special, incidental or other consequential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material, which is provided “as is”, and without warranties. As always, the advice of a competent professional should be sought. The author and publisher do not warrant the performance, effectiveness or applicability of any sites listed or linked to in this report. All links are for information purposes only and are not warranted for content, accuracy or any other implied or explicit purpose.

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Table Of Contents Introduction Chapter 1

Where Do Emotions Come From?

Chapter 2

Why Command The Emotions?

Chapter 3

Mind Over Will

Chapter 4

Mind Training and Strengthing

Chapter 5

True Stories of People Commanding Emotions

Conclusion

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Introduction People have always wondered if it is possible to control emotions. Yet, our topic is not mere controlling, but commanding our emotions. This seems to complicate matters more. Can we actually command something within us that, for years, have been regarded as involuntary impulses? They say emotions just happen to you and you have no choice but to feel them. Trying to “command” emotions is almost saying you can tell your heart to stop beating pronto, right there and then! Emotions are lifetime companions. We cannot get rid of them. As long as we’re alive, feelings will be there to accompany our actions or even inactions. Traditional knowledge tells us we are slaves of our emotions. Emotions make our day. They decide whether we get up in a good mood in the morning or in good spirits when we get in bed at night. Some people even give their emotions the authority to mold their destiny. There are people who succumb to bad emotions and even get a fatal heart attack because of that. Moreover, there are people who let emotions get the better of them all their lives. You see them become virtual puppets of their moods. They say or act as if they have no other choice but to obey what their moods or emotions dictate them to do. They go to work everyday with wrinkled faces and bad behaviors. They crumple other lives they meet along their path too. Their reason: They had a fight with their spouse earlier, or some jerk cut them off the road. Perhaps they would blame the weather for it, or the plunging economy. This brings us to another question: Are emotions mere hostages to what happens around us or to what other people do to us? When we surrender to traditional and man-made concepts without examining them awhile, we find misery and slavery waiting for us. Many people, among them professionals and leaders, are prisoners of their moods and emotions. They may be productive career-wise, but they are terribly inept in handling themselves properly in crisis — or what they call crisis management. When you let your emotions fail you, your being slowly disintegrates, and your career goes along with it. But now you can take charge! You have been given a choice to take over or be taken over by your emotions. Emotions are made for you, not you for your emotions. If you choose to, you can always be the best you can be, emotions and all. Emotions are designed as added extras to highlight the positive impressions you make. They are not there to make you an object of pity, revulsion, or horror. So let us stop being used and instead start using our emotions and will right now! Let us declare a day of freedom from negative emotions. A new day of powerful practical thinking is dawning. Let’s welcome it with open hands. Do you see it coming?

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CHAPTER ONE What Is An Emotion An emotion is an inner feeling that reacts to a certain stimulus. A stimulus is something that spurs or prompts your emotion. It is often something that is introduced from the outside. For instance, a car drives past and splashes dirty water on you. The stimulus is the splashing of the water. Then, let’s say you get angry because you’re all wet with dirty water. That’s your reaction. Emotion is a matter of cause and effect. It is how you decide to be after a thing happens. You cannot have an emotion without any stimulus. You cannot cry over spilled nothing. There has to be spilled milk or something. There has to be a reason for an emotion to show. The basic principle always is, “When you feel an emotion, there is some reason or stimulus.” WHAT CAUSES AN EMOTION? A stimulus, however, does not cause you to feel an emotion. It merely tempts you to react. How you react is entirely up to you. A stimulus does not and cannot create emotion in you. It can only incite you to act or react. It cannot decide what kind of response you will have. The effect of any stimulus is just to lure you, and its work ends there. You make the decision of how to act or react to a given situation. The emotion you show depends on how practical and mature you are. Practicality and maturity are all qualities of the mind. An emotion cannot think for itself. Your mind supplies the thinking. The mind controls major body functions, among them the emotions and will. Emotions can never act independently of the mind. Whatever emotions we show originate from the mind. So don’t blame your crabby neighbor or cranky customer whenever you’re having a bad day. Your negative emotion didn’t come from them. They have no power over you. It came from inside of you. This is worth repeating. Remember: Do not give any stimulus credit it does not deserve. Stimuli do not put emotions in you. It cannot put anything in you. They merely present themselves to you.

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CHAPTER TWO Why Command Emotions? Do we really need to control or command our emotions? Yes, we command our emotions so we can become better and more mature persons. They say emotions should be released. Restraining them may eventually be bad for our health. This is where we see the difference between control and command. The first is restraint or suppressed, while the other is released in a constructive manner. At best, a controlled emotion is partially released, redirected, or delayed. Thus, we see that commanding an emotion is often better than controlling it. When an emotion, especially a negative one, is merely partially released, redirected, or delayed, it just takes on other forms. Its essence remains. However, commanding emotions often bring out the best in us. RELEASING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS Let us examine the various ways of releasing negative emotions. 1. PARTIALLY RELEASED When its bearer entertains an emotion, it is useless to release it partially. To get rid of the emotion, it must be 100 percent in, 100 percent out. This is not to say, though, that 100 percent out is good for your health. When you allow the entry of an emotion, the break or opening will allow the same emotion, (or several others) to enter you again. Always having negative emotions will wreck your personality terribly. Soon, they may affect your health. A partially released negative emotion will create harmful emotional eruptions inside you (making you a difficult person wherever you are). It could also find release somewhere else (to another person or family member), extending the damage further. 2.REDIRECTED This is another form (and a worse one) of a partially released emotion. This produces unfairness and injustices to other people who you see have less power. You may find it easy to take “vengeance” on them. For instance, your boss has scolded you. Being his subordinate prevents you from retaliating. When you get home, you may tend to release your anger on your house helps, children, or spouse. 3.DELAYED RELEASE This is mostly responsible for a sudden burst of an accumulated emotion (anger for instance). You may get very angry over a seemingly trivial or unimportant problem. For instance, a teacher who cannot vent her anger on her naughty pupils for the whole day (or

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CHAPTER TWO Why Command Emotions? days) may become so touchy as to be so fiercely angered by a mere harmless joke. Here we see why controlling an emotion damages our health and well-being in the long run. The appropriate option is to command a right emotion to suit or neutralize a threatening one.

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CHAPTER THREE Mind Over Will The soul is the will, mind, and emotions all rolled into one. The will leans closer to the other two that have more power. If the emotions are more powerful than the mind, the will easily submits to emotions. If the mind is more powerful, the will submits easily to it also. At times, a powerful mind that has subdued the emotions turns on the will as a last step to victory. You have the practical will to do something once the mind and the emotions jointly agree on what is right. A powerful emotion that has subdued the mind has the same effect. Together, you will find that you have the intense emotional will to pursue something to satisfy a feeling. The will is the determination to achieve an end. It can be propelled or empowered by an emotion or a concept. A soldier has the will to defeat the enemy by loving his country or knowing the benefits of freedom. Though seldom, it can be both. A soldier of a dictatorship, though he does not know real freedom, will fight to defend the dictatorship because he loves his country. Some foreign soldiers defend other countries. They may not love the country they’re fighting for, but they want to maintain democracy and political stability in it. Sometimes, they may even be forced to rescue a dictator they hate. The will is in the center of a tug-of-war between the emotion and the mind. More simply put, a child often faces the choice of eating a candy because he loves sweets, or not eat it because his doctor said it’s not good for his tonsils. A strong willed lad, they say, will opt to go by what the mind decides is practical. What they call a weak willed lad would go by what he loves. He will fulfill immediate wants, even if he knows they are bad for him. Actually, both wills are strong. We may classify them as intellectual will and emotional will. To be successful in commanding the emotions, the first job of the mind is to win the full support of the will. This means you must train yourself to be intellectually willed. When this is achieved, the rest is a piece of cake. Both the will and the emotions will submit to the mind. Intellectual will The intellectual will always asks, “How important is it, really?” This will goes through the thorough examination and weighing of your fussy mind. If important, the will focuses on its accomplishment. If not important, the will focuses on disregarding it. When you are

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CHAPTER THREE cont Mind Over Will overweight and you want to lose weight (because your mind tells you it’s healthy), the mind imposes strict discipline on the will to eat only healthy foods. By the strong prodding of your practical mind (and by the cooperation of your will), you easily reject delicious but unhealthy foods. When someone hurts you, the mind weighs the situation at once and asks, “How important is this person to me? Why would I let him ruin my day? Will I be a better person if I retaliate?” If the person is not important, then you may command your will to ignore whatever he did. Your mind and will may jointly tell your emotion to remain unaffected. If the person is important, you may have the same reaction. Your mind might say, “Anyway, no real harm was done. I’m still alive. I might as well celebrate being alive.” Emotional will This does not ask any question. It only magnifies how you feel. The will succumbs to how you feel and feeds it. Thus, you eat the unhealthy foods you love though you are overweight, because the emotion convinces your will that it’s okay to do such. Your happiness and satisfaction count the most. If someone hurts you, your strong emotion would overreact and magnify the thing done. Then it commands your will to satisfy what your emotion craves for — anger. Often, the mind do some function here, but only what the emotion and will jointly tell it to do. Usually, it is left with no other option than to justify the anger. “I hit him because he said this!” or “I hit him because he hit me first!”

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CHAPTER FOUR Mind Training And Strengthening The idea that emotions can be trained says a lot about how important mental command is to regulate emotions. For instance, emotions play a vital role in training dogs. Trained dogs are made to obey mostly by voice commands. The trainer believes in his mind that he can command the dog to obedience. So his mind tells his voice to give a sharp and authoritative command (backed with emotions). “Fetch!” he commands. As he sees the dog repeatedly obeying him, his mind is encouraged. “It works!” he may tell himself. The more his mind is empowered by the result he sees, the easier the emotions are made to obey. Soon, confidence is reinforced. The will becomes stronger. We see that positive emotions encourage or reinforce the power of the mind. When the mind does not see immediate success, the emotions may work negatively. This may cause the mind to give up. The emotions often take over at this point and tell the mind to quit. This is what happens when emotions command. Emotions are supposed to merely support or encourage the mind, not command it. In anything, supporters must never take over. They must only cheer. Cheering squads perk up the spirits of athletes. They never tell players how the game must be played. They cannot decide who wins. In the same way, emotions must always take the back seat and must be contented in supporting the plans of the mind, win or lose. A mind determined to succeed will try and try again. It will command the emotions to produce courage against all odds. This courage, in turn, feeds the mind to be more determined. This is what we call a positive mind. An emotion is the result of a process that went on in your nervous system, triggered by a stimulus. Your brain spearheads the nervous system. The brain sends signals through the nerves to a specific body organ relevant to the stimulus. Hence, the brain has the major part in how you react to a stimulus. It is the brain, and not the stimulus, which decides what emotions you show. In short, it’s all up to you. It depends on how you have trained yourself to respond to stimuli. You are the master of your emotions and no one else. The outcome of any battle and war largely depends on how well the participants have trained. Here are some exercises on how you can train your mind well to recruit the will over to your side and conquer your emotions: 1. GET ENOUGH REST. Aside from good sleep, the mind ought to get sufficient rest daily. Rest here means as little stress as possible. Distress is a definite no-no. Meditation is the best rest the mind can have. Some mind experts assert that having dreams in sleep means only the body

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CHAPTER FOUR cont Mind Training And Strengthening is getting a rest, not the mind. Thus, meditation is necessary in mind empowerment. The best way to meditate is to enjoy a serene surrounding early in the morning while breathing deeply and slowly. As you do this, think of nothing except how the fresh air you inhale revitalizes your brain, blood, lungs, and eventually, all your body functions. If possible, meditate in places that afford fresh air like the beach, parks, or forests. The best type of rest is to meditate on the Book of Psalms and Proverbs in the Bible. Equally recommended is to read and meditate on the life of Christ in the Gospel. Regardless of your religion, and even if you are an atheist, these materials afford a meditative literature that enhances mind focus and rest. They relax your soul (mind, will, and emotions) and give you a better perspective. 2. STICK TO YOUR INTELLECTUAL PRIORITIES. Setting your practical priorities for the day is a good practice only if you train yourself to abide by them. To strictly adhere to your priorities, you have to fight off lots of temptations. Your emotions will always try to assert itself once you start to make your practical mind prevail. Try this. List down the things you think you ought to accomplish for a day. Don’t deal with your wishes (which often feed your emotions), but deal only with what you see and think is really important. This ought to make your list a very simple one, and therefore manageable. Scratch out the things you really don’t need.

Below is a sample of a list to do on a Saturday:

a. Wash clothes – check b. Throw out the garbage – check c. Watch final episode of your favorite TV series – scratch d. Call up a friend – scratch e. Clean up the attic – check f. Talk session with your wife and kids – check g. Finish a good book you’ve been reading – check h. Attend the class reunion where the delicious dinner is free – scratch From the list above, you will note that the choices are pretty much a challenge. It’s hard not to watch the final episode of your favorite TV series, for example. Moreover, it is tough to ignore the free delicious dinner where you get to meet old pals. Saturdays are

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CHAPTER FOUR cont Mind Training And Strengthening supposed to be rest and fun days. So why sacrifice and prefer household chores and scratch out all the fun? The practical mind will agree that the checked items above are important and the scratched ones are not. It’s a sacrifice to disregard the scratched items, but they’re not really that important. The important thing is to throw out the garbage (for hygiene), for instance, and to bond with your spouse and kids or partner. However, the emotional part of you will protest. It will say, “Preferring to read your kids a bedtime story over a swell dinner with longtime-no-see friends is easier said than done.” They would add, “You can always have a sitter watch your kids,” and other justifications to give way to your capricious cravings. You have to train yourself to stick to your priority list. Fight off temptations. You can be lenient from time to time, or on other days — attend dinners and watch your favorite soap operas now and then — but try to accomplish the rigid Saturday priority list more often. Make sure you implement the list. This will train you to gradually assert your mind over your will. You can begin with small simple steps. In each strategy, make a practical list of priorities or principles that appeal to your mind, not to your emotions. Remember the intellectually willed question? “Is this really important?” Is it a real need, or just a desire or whim? Then, implement gradually, becoming more stringent as you go further. You can use the same exercise when shopping. Often, when you have the money or credit card at hand, it’s almost too impossible to be practical in shopping. Stimuli will bombard you left and right, all reinforced to the maximum with very tempting advertisements. Once your senses catch the readings (stimuli), your mind analysis and emotional reaction can go crazy. The emotions often get the upper hand, and the will and mind just give way. Here is an ideal time to start training your mind to command your emotions. Decide on your intellectual priorities, assert them, and stick to them come what may. Command your will to fall on its knees, and tell your emotions to shut up. An advisable strategy when shopping is to make a list of the things you NEED to buy. Make sure there is nothing that merely appeals to emotion. Then, set out to the mall or grocery with a strong determination to stick to your list. When you are in the actual shopping place, dozens of promotions and special discounts will try to lure you in aborting your original plan. Tell yourself — or anybody with you who is trying to veer you off course — that “we came here for some definite goals, and that non-priority product is not one of them!”

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CHAPTER FOUR cont Mind Training And Strengthening 3. ALWAYS BE ANALYTICAL. Train yourself to assume an analytical attitude. Daily, you are presented with various life situations that challenge you to either act or just react. In other words, these situations goad you to be intellectually or emotionally willed. Situations are analyzed by the mind which sends a report to your emotions. Then everything usually ends with an emotional burst. You just react. This time reverse the ending. Act rather than react. Analyze everything. Tell yourself, “Now wait a minute. Before I let this silly thing scare me or make me angry, I want to make sure it’s really scary or worth being angry about. If it’s nothing, I don’t want to waste time or energy on it.” If it turns out to be scary, ask yourself why you need to let it scare you. Will you just allow it to make you react? Are you just going to let it dictate how you would feel? Reacting in exactly the way a stimulus “wants” you to only gives “satisfaction” to it. So why give it what it wants? For sure, there is a better option available to you: Ignore the stimulus. Act in reverse. Don’t let your emotions lead your mind on the way it should think. Let your mind lead your emotion on the way it should act or react. 4. PRACTICE BEING LOGICAL. Many say being logical is the exact opposite of being emotional. Like analysis, logic is one of the deadly tools of the mind. Logic whips emotions to obedience, somewhat like the way lion tamers crack the whip to make the beast sit and behave. When logic tames the emotions, the will acts more firmly. Logic enforces what the mind wants to accomplish. It gives legitimacy to the mind as a ruler. It’s like a president of a nation winning an election by a landslide. Finishing your schooling before marriage is a good goal. The practical mind will go for it. But just because your mind has as good a goal as finishing your schooling, doesn’t necessarily mean the emotions will also jump with excitement — especially when your heart is aching to marry the woman you love. Logic may add power to your mind. It may argue that a finished education makes for a more stable career that can make lots of money. All these spell a good marriage and a good future for the family. You do not negate your emotions by this; but rather, you put them in their proper perspective. Problems only arise the moment you deprive yourself of your right to emotions. Commanding emotions does not mean restraining them, but putting them in their proper places. 5. ACT ON NEEDS, NOT DESIRES. Always act based on a need, not on a desire. Train yourself to screen your motives always. Choose only what you need and set aside what you merely desire. Your needs need immediate attention. Your desires, well, they can be ignored for a while. Return to

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CHAPTER FOUR cont Mind Training And Strengthening them when you are trained enough to have your mind as the master of your will and emotions. While in training, never give in to any desire that detracts you from the more important things in life. 6. STARVE YOUR EMOTIONS A LITTLE. Emotions are needed, but we need to tame them to submit to our minds. To make your emotions submit, you must have them a bit weaker than your mind. Thus, feed your mind with practicality feasts, and sometimes starve your emotions. If you’re given a choice between seeing a movie or cleaning the whole house, go for the latter. If you love roasted turkey or beefsteak, and you’re given a choice between these or bland vegetables, then settle for the latter. Do this often. Cut down on the number of times you give way to what you love doing, and stress more on what you think ought to be done. 7. LEARN TO LOVE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE Doing what you don’t like is the worst scenario to have in life. Besides, it is bad for your health. Even if you do what you think is practical, if you don’t love it, you fail nonetheless. It only means that your mind has only conquered the will, but not the emotions. The emotions remain unconquered and rebellious, just waiting for the right time to re-assert itself back to the throne. The result will be a life full of sacrifices - forcing yourself on something you don’t like to do. This is typical of the convinced overweight who decided on a rigid diet of everything he hated to eat. It went on for a while. Soon he gave up. His love for unhealthy foods is just too much to overcome. The proper way is to train the mind, not just to defeat the emotions; but also to make them submit, so that it commands the emotions. Without this, the mind’s victory will just be temporary. The mind must be able to “teach” the emotions to love what is needful. After sessions of the exercises listed in this book (plus several more from your self-devised strategies), you gradually subdue your emotions, “mold” them, feed them with what is practical and correct, until your emotions begin to really “love” to do what your mind commands them to. Soon, you would be surprised to see that your emotions have been so accustomed to the assertions of your mind that they would even begin to “hate” to do things that merely cater to vain desires.

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CHAPTER FIVE True Stories Of People Commanding Emotions Here are true-to-life examples that show the mind (if strong and trained to prevail) can teach and command the emotions and will. They can ignore a stimulus that incites a negative reaction. Instead, a positive action can be produced to take over an otherwise chaotic situation. 1. One of the greatest leaders ever known, Jesus Christ introduced the concept of loving the enemy, turning the other cheek when slapped on the face, carrying the baggage for 2 miles when your foe tells you to carry it for a mile, and praying for those who insult you, among other positive actions against offensive stimuli. He and his true disciples have been known to turn the world upside down. Jesus is known to have taught that the spirit should make the flesh obey. 2. Mahatma Gandhi, a guru and spiritual leader of India when the British still ruled over it, was known never to have reacted negatively to any issue. He started the non-violent campaign of civil disobedience or non-participation in an unjust government administration. Instead of getting angry and getting even, he introduced “fasting” or abstinence from eating any food. People who can fast for days like Gandhi can command bodily urges to submit to the mind. This is the Hindu practice of self-denial.

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CONCLUSION Success is everybody’s business. Nobody wants to fail. The role of a powerful mind cannot be overemphasized when we talk of success. No doubt, an empowered mind is a big step towards triumph. Emotions are good. We need them to express and confirm our will which the mind has decided on. Being too emotional, however, works to our disadvantage. It destroys the ability of the mind to judge stimuli rationally (or see things clearly), and subordinates it to the will and emotions. The mind, when always subjected to such wrong judgment, would later adapt to the frequent error and can misinterpret everything. Feelings are seldom accurate. They are poor perceivers. They can get to a certain amount of truth, but clouds of emotions often blur the truth. Feelings are designed as a latter action or reaction after the mind has arrived at a conclusion. Feelings are not supposed to act as a lead or a perceiver. Much less, they are not to be given power to decide a final conclusion. Emotions are there to support what the mind has commanded the will. Perception is designed to ascertain correctness. The mind is the apt organ for perceiving. Perception can be honed to such sharpness and accuracy that truth becomes plainer to see. When you see the whole picture of a situation with your mind, and give the mind total command, you are better equipped to respond. There are times when you have an accurate perception of a stimulus, but then the emotions independently decide on a different course. The will, at a loss as to where to go (there are times when you are “undecided” about something), would cling to the stronger force, which is either the mind or the emotions. If this is always the case, you see an indecisive person always unsure about things. He is easily torn between a whim and a thought. The mind clearly ought to rule over emotion and will. There should be no compromise in this. Success depends largely on how empowered the mind is. The mind is trained to rule through daily simple exercises that intensify as progress goes. It is programmed to command and be obeyed by the emotions by telling the will to take its side against a negative emotion, or vice versa. The mind can also tell the emotions to take its side against a stubborn will. As the mind progresses and given more power, it is then transported into a higher dimension of power — the power to command things outside the body. Mind empowerment has lots of positive benefits. On a personal level, you can command a positive emotion and attitude to surface from your inner self at just the wink of an eye. It can improve your image with colleagues and other people. You can become a very

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CONCLUSION cont patient, understanding, and broad-minded person, seldom manifesting negative behavior, and often approaching things with an open mind. Mind power can make you see things clearly and more objectively. You can assess situations better, with a clear mind and heart, and become a person of integrity and resoluteness. In a word, it makes you a well-rounded person. A truly empowered mind can make you affect other people and your environment as well. In an extreme sense, you may be able to see yourself actually commanding nature to work according to the urgency of your situation. If an emergency requires that you go to a place but a storm happens to be raging, you may be able to command the storm to cease for a while so that you can get to your destination safely. Commanding in this sense must not be used for mere entertainment or proving that you have power to do things. It must be used for extreme emergencies—for positive purposes alone. These things may all sound crazy for the uninitiated. But there are people living today who actually claim and record that these supernatural occurrences are true to them. The ability has helped them and other people a lot in times of crisis. If it’s easy to see such a world, and that sight is believed by an authoritative mind, the rest will follow. We will be writing history in a new light.



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