Effective Communication

Effectiveness in communication.

Essence of Communication. • We communicate • We communicate always • Meaning of communication is the response one gets.

Shared space

A’s reality

Intended meaning Verbal Message A Non verbal message

Perceived meaning B

B’s reality

Basic components of communication. • • • • • • •

Sender Receiver Message Feedback Replication Understanding Noise

• • • • • • •

Noise Mind of receiver Mind of sender Communication filters Semantics Emotions Attitudes:beliefs,enforced by emotions

• • • • •

Role expectations Non verbal messages Eye contact Gestures Send clear messages - make use of repetitions,select words carefully,time the message.

Changing attitudes • Provide feedback(positive feedback equals positive behaviour) • Change the conditions & consequenses • Observed behaviour (provide positive role models) • Provide opportunities for personal enrichment.

• Attitudes are acquired from peers from personal experiences. • To change attitudes: Effect the consequences.

Four basic communication Styles. • • • • • • • •

Emotive (High dominance – High Sociability) Displays action oriented behaviour Is Informal Natural Persuassiveness Director (High Dominance – Low Sociability) Projects a serious attitude Expresses strong opinions. May project indifference.

• • • • • • • •

Reflective (Low Dominance – Low Sociability) Formal & deliberate Seems preoccupied Prefers orderliness. Supportive (Low Dominance – High Sociability) Listens attentively Avoids the use of power Decisions are made and expressed in a thoughtful and deliberate manner.

Style Flexing • Attempt to alter your style to meet the needs of another person. • A temporary effort to act in harmony with another persons dominant communication style.

Self Disclosure • A form of communication that involves letting others know what you think,feel & want. • Purpose • To improve accuracy of communication • An increased self awareness • Stronger healthier relationships • Stress reduction •

Criteria for developing Self disclosure. • • • • • • •

Repair damaged relationships Avoid judgmental attitude Discuss situations as they happen Accurately describe your feelings and emotions Select proper time & place Avoid over whelming others with self disclosure Watch for non verbal clues.

Never allow Emotions to Pollute Thinking. You cant help the way you feel but you can control the way you act.

Positive Reinforcements • • • •

Tool to improve communications Psychological ingredient is recognition. Support from Mazlow As each lower level need is satisfied, the need at next level demands attention. • Support from Skinner • Any living organism will tend to repeat a behaviour if that bhaviour is followed by a reinforcer

Responding to Value judgements • Never accept doubts or criticism from others and even more important from yourself. • Criticism comes when sweeping,universal statements are made about specific,individual actions.

• If some one says “That will never work” • Respond with “Never”? “Ever”? Nowhere in the world,Never in history…. • If some one say :”That was really stupid” Acknowledge the value judgement and ask for exceptions.Respond with “While I admit that it might have looked stupid to you,out of all of it,what part of it wasn’t stupid? Ask for something positive .Or ask”Exactly,what made it look stupid to you?”

But & And. • But diminishes or erases that which preceds it ex: You idea is good But…. • People move from positive to Negative • Positive ….But ……Negative • Negative ….But….. Positive • Others teach communication But this workshop is better.

If & When • If I reach my goal • When I reach my goal • Try the word is not bad but the emotion & usage is not good.

Barriers to Communication • Arguing – – – – – – – –

Blaming Disagreeing Excusing Claiming impunity Minimizing Pessimism Reluctance Unwilling to change

• Interrupting – Talking over – Cutting off

• Denying – Inattention – No answer – No response – Sidetracking

• Ignoring – Challenging – Discounting – Open hostility

Handling Conflict • Persons striving for their own preferred outcome,which if attained,prevents others from attaining their preferred out come which results in hostility and a break down in communications.

communication that indicates a problem that needs to be addressed. • • • • •

Anger is common Is form of communication Happens every day Anger & conflict must be acknowledged Anger is healthy

Five ways to deal with anger • • • • •

Confrontation Avoidance Withdrawal Compromise Smooth over

Causes of Conflict • Breakdown in Communication • Clash of Values • Clash of personalities

Assumptions of Win Win • • • • • •

People want to work out their problems A solution is possible People respect each others rights People respect each others integrity People respect each others capabilities People share common goals.

• Good communicator should always avoid Win/Lose & Lose/Lose situations • Neither of these are adequate solutions.

• • • • • •

Always assume attitude of patience Define the problem Collect facts & opinions Consider the facts Define your expected results Implement the selected solution.

Always seek to deal with issues,not with emotions. • • • • • • •

Explore the difference State what is important Temporarily lift restrictions Invite and suggest alternate choices Acknowledge others right to differ Explain decision and why.

Become an Active Listener. • What does listening mean to you….. • • • •

Keeping quiet…. Active Listening How do you respond Response should be non judgemental

Listening skills

5 basic reasons we do not listen • Listening is hard work • Competition • The rush for action • Speed differences in the rate of speaking and understanding. • Lack of training

4 Types of listeners • The Non-Listener

HEARING

• The Marginal Listener V/s • The Evaluative Listener • The Active Listener LISTENING

How to improve your listening skills? • Maintain eye contact with the instructor • Focus on content than on the way that it is being said. • Avoid selective listening • Avoid distractions • Ask questions to stay active and interested. • Face the speaker • Maintain eye contact • Respond appropriately – say yes, nod, etc. • Do not be preoccupied with your own thoughts.

• Person who responds emotionally is not listening actively. • Person who allows emotions to interfere in response is saying “Listen to me –I know best.”

Artful Critique • Be specific: Use three steps of Assertiveness. • Specificity is important for praise also. • No character or personality assassination • Offer a solution: Else it leaves other person frustrated, inefficient, deficient(include suggestions about how to take care of these problems)

• Be present: Face to Face • Memo makes communication impersonal. • Be sensitive: Empathy- be attuned to the impact of what you say & how you say it on the person at the receiving end.