Echoes Of The Soul - Paupers Dreams Cape

If you open this in PDF look above the text! There is usually a percentage number to see with a - & + next to Click that – or + and it zooms the file, so even small writing can become pretty big. Makes reading easier.

Echoes of the Soul - Paupers Dreamscape © Andrè M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved Welcome to an experimental file which has a meta-interdependence with 'My cult of Thoolhoo'. Meta for it has not in context but in contemplation a connection. This means while McoT is based upon Cthulhu myth from a cultists perspective and I am preparing the tutorial adventure, this here is more dedicated side-notes to and inspired by my years in fantasy role-playing. Sources to be mentioned: Dungeons & Dragons, especially Ravenloft, Greyhawk and Planescape Torment. The German 'Realms of Arkania', it's early years. Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, defiled yet never forgotten. The Internet for allowing me basic research in those few moments I could afford it. My readers, who are few in number, yet not less worthy by that alone. I am neither using stuff from official product lines, nor their rules here. Once again: A new way of note: While I mention that any mentioning of persons, artworks and company stuff is never a challenge to their legal rights, trademark or else and making money, it's crap. I mean for sure, pirate pages offer your entire product line and I can't hype your stuff? No pc-game which cannot be illegally downloaded and sad truth for any book one could scan. I am no software pirate but an author struggling in a wonderful world full of poverty, suffering, corruption and warcrimes. I remember that many years ago I walked the train-station of Essen-Borbeck at night. When I looked up I read a well known note sprayed there. 'Finde Deine eigene Wahrheit' which means 'Find your own truth'. Yesterday I quoted it modified when a woman said my replies make her only have more questions (don't worry, I had no sex): 'Find your own truth, for only you can live your life'

Basically this is a repeat. Years ago I already mentioned that what legally inspires you concerning my files shall not mean you worship or surrender to the rest. My old formulation was 'take what works in your life and discard the rest'. Could you be more honest to any generic stranger? Generic? I don't know your personality, your gender, your religion or culture as the possible lack of the same.

it.

Consider the low budget reality which fills so many prisons and asylums, I could even be the author who wrote this to his killer. Or some 'Barton Fink' for paupers? I didn't want my role, that's for sure. I dislike autobiographical stuff or diary crap, especially for it does not get paid and would be smarter after I am (not that probable) rich & famous. A note on definition: Author I am the author of my files. Not an author by job (yet?). I am on the path of selfmade author, not company author. Means, I need money to start producing instead of finding a publisher. This has more than one reason, yet until you pay I don't owe you the answers. Hint: Integrity, independence and writing what my customers want are among the variables in this equation of mine. When I chatted with a woman, she offered me to write some stuff for me. I was shocked. First, I really write my own stuff and already published quite some gratis stuff. Second I never believed myself to be the author who outmatches 'Harry Potter' today and 'Sacrilege' tomorrow. Third, instead of putting my name into someone else's work, I would note them as co-author. An offer I made to several females to allow a female perspective on certain topics. Problematic when it comes to business, yet for now I do gratis stuff. It is just one skill of my hobby. I don't get it, was she thinking at all? I don't guess she meant it insulting, yet what? Zen mode activated, don't analyze just be (mushien). I once wanted to play the villain, trying to steal stuff. Every time I read what I considered worthy loot, I found I could write it better from my own perspective. Further, I didn't start fantasy role-play as publishing by ambition, I did it by 'muse' or simply intuition. It comes with practice and if you try it, you sure will find that stealing stuff leaves your own personal priorities somewhat abandoned. Or maybe I am more author than rogue? A pestering repeat means you won't have to download other files from me so here it comes:

●

I didn't ask for it, yet I am an petty “award winning” author. This is nothing special. It just translates into recognized as “author level 1” or being in the author character class from a role-players perspective. I am no single class concept?

Got it? It was a little award and just a step on the way. With no company behind me I have to think myself and consider how or if to do marketing and customer care once it begins to become funding. Funding? Yes, making my personal money (harlots, drugs, designer clothes and all the other cliché I can't afford ever) are only one part. The crucial part is this: If I produce a book it must sell well enough or otherwise I can't afford to hire studios which turn it into a radio-audio-tale or computer or console game. That's naked facts. The horror of the author -class? A brutal truth named associations. A certain number of people expects me to become alcoholic as doing drugs. That's a common expectation concerning the cliché of authors and artists. It has something recurrent and secretly I tried to practice part one. I made it up to one six-pack an evening where I even still typed some pages. Further, would anybody mind to notice, that such vices are quite expensive when perceived as necessity from a pauper? I belong to the poorest social class in my country. May the alcoholic part be the humble German tradition where drugs are the more American reply? How do I face the utter menace of writing my files: I usually do some shopping. A mix of healthy and not so healthy food and stuff like fruit-tea or cappuccino with caramel and a six-pack of wheat beer or my new champion (Veltins Curuba). Then I take the enormous risk of visiting a Turkish Döner Kebab shop or even more appreciated yet rarely payable, a pizza store. Yummy. A good preparation are two 'complete Döner' or a family pizza for me alone. Vice gluttony fueled enough. I bet I would become more fat when I could afford to do it daily. ☺ I return to my flat after an extensive walk (looking at women or in absence of sexy ones, which is often the case, day-dreaming they would be there). I start my computer, get angry about the problems Linux Kanotix has with my hardware and start to prepare the header of the new file. I smoke some tobacco or cigarillo.

Cigarettes taste less well, are more expensive and burn down to fast while typing. I usually start some music at my old PC or the one TV-music-channel I receive. Then I do a kind of prayer, contemplation or pseudo-occult ritual (I only published my 'Bestialis - street-shaman under the cross of Christianity' in German) to summon or better said invoke, revive, beg or simulate my muse. Simplified I try to get into the mood. Sometimes it is nearly readable, yet there is an sequel-ritual which I found to be part of my style or lack of a same. The real corrections, including § necessities, always seem to appear after I published the first version. Yeah, patches for my files. ☺ ☺ = Indicators that I mean it more humorous than it is often perceived or expected.

If you have this google option or an alternative for satellite pictures by address, you may check the German city of Essen, town part named Altendorf, by postage number 45143 Essen. That's the 'hood' I live in for now. Given that (I am not American) I dislike the idea of abusing real world people: When writing the dream-scape as I intend it, it will not be denouncing or turning traitor (because such skills are not always limited to my author skill choice). I don't know if I would be anti-American, maybe you reading my file named 'My ale from Salem - darker than satanism' will bring you a better impression? I know though that the few Americans I had to meet in person are below any degree of competence when it comes to the soul. No matter whom I could compare them with, all other cultures where more reliable, more diplomatic and less prejudice-tainted. I am a fat, ugly and not that well liked skinhead for years, in a hood full of Muslims, people from Africa and Asia as well. For more than six years I had here no trouble with anybody, especially about the idiotic pseudo-definitions of racism or religious hostility as America wants to brainwash us into believing. We have our share of Nazi-Skinheads, criminals and thugs here. Yet how can they be the big evil when creatures like the Americans outmatch their crimes, their lack of respect for other lifestyles, cultures and religions? Being a different form of evil

won't make them less guilty. An interesting one was an American who said (confessed?) that 'they' only stopped the Nazis for they weren't Americans. Besides it was the blood-toll of Russia and the dedication of the Commonwealth which made the war turn against the Nazis? Let's play a guessing game: You are a German normalo/citizen, it is strictly forbidden to display the slightest Nazi insignia and your great American ally finds it funny to let people in full Nazi uniform roam their land. Would this inspire trust and sympathy in you? It sure as hell didn't within me. And why does Israel accept that? Is it still called a greencard or ticket to Guantanamo Bay nowadays? Wouldn't it be smarter to contain our oil-junkies on their own continent where it is their right to live and govern as they want? I repeat one from 'My ale...' I never expected America to show mercy to the enemy, I criticize their habit of torturing before they have evidence ( like in Iraq where those huge amounts of weapons of mass destruction where discovered). That is a difference, especially for those who accepted the role of world police. If I would have wanted the Americans as villains I wouldn't mourn their fall from grace. Thanks to Turkey for 'Valley of the Wolves'. I didn't see that movie, yet I find it inspiring to know that somebody else noticed the obvious about a topic we all have to live with. Do I know any good sides about America? Yes, just that I explain them when paid for. From everyday life I can admit that I liked some TV series though: 'Smallville' as 'Clueless' and 'The secret of Pasadena'. Michael Rosenbaum could do an update of all Bogart movies if he ever gets bored? Back to less unpleasant stuff. There are some people in the world who do a damn good job, even when the first impression is different. That's what I call a real world source of inspiration.

The lords & ladies of Hogwash Before I started writing again, I read some stuff and given that I even qualified through some nearly higher school form of Germany I am sometimes more educated than I consider myself to be. Simple, I know that there are so much more cultivated and educated people so I can't present that as one of my strong points, it's part of the way of life here, I guess. Oh experience. You know, no matter how many of you could do better, no matter what others think of it. If I hadn't i.e. learned to ride a bike myself, how could I have benefited from it's existence? I don't feel ashamed for the urge to be the best does not guarantee any success. I sense the return to role-play, though no longer from the perspective I experienced in the past. The officials made some good jobs among all the crap they tried to sell. Really. It's just that they also spawned so much which disgusted people, often especially those who helped them even without payment. Therefore this note: Why did I like Planescape Torment? Because it was nearly free (in comparison) from this hypocrite they are just assholes but call them good guys idiocy. They were there, but could be killed at least. My greatest respect for most games goes to the module makers or mod makers. They often improve the quality in their unique and manyfold ungratefully treated way of being creative souls (in the deadly logical world of programmers). While NWN offered the possibility, too, I found the module editor of Morrowind (ES3) bringing optically improved results. Same idea, different engine. I lack those skills and just by reading tutorials I can't learn what is so much easier when you know the programming language the stuff is based upon. I will never be rich enough, yet I would have paid the skilled ones instead of allowing those who made you necessary to get all the money and credits. Further role-players crafted patches on problems which officials who were paid to do the job proclaimed to be impossible to correct. Vampire Redemption was just one example, even years ago! A little note Zen has two major definitions. My own one was based on understanding and practicing it until I found what of Zen (mostly mushien) benefits my life. The other way is highly superior for eternity. That way means mimicking and imitating Japanese monks and declaring it to be enlightenment or ascension.

Born and raised in a country which started two world wars in one century, I am pretty allergic to such creatures and a society allowing them to go unscathed. Their prejudices and attitude that they are above all laws while I am guilty of whatever they decide, is far more from the facts than can be legal here. I am neither Japanese nor a monk and therefore my Zen cannot be identical with the one a Japanese monk or nun would do (which properly would not be 'do' but 'be'). Further, of course, my choice of title was not humorous. It can't be, because the prejudices and accusations hurled at me would not seem so convincing then. As if my life is not down & degenerate enough. Level-Up controversy I just remember a little cookie wisdom. People don't change (at least not for the better?). There is a certain misconception, cultivated by plenty of persons. It's not beneficial and until I get paid to lie to you, I choose my own? Be it pen&paper or online role-play people acting asshole always consider themselves superior. Wasting real world money and time on a virtual or fictional figure does not seem that smart to me. That's from someone with role-play as hobby for more than 16 years. Let's take an example. Ass-Savior in D&D. The rogue stereotype. When a rogue really is epic (level 20 or above) the person will be at least twenty steps more in competence and 20 less in mistakes, yet remaining just one individual (i.e.) limited by mortality, alignment and personal tastes. In my good moments I could fuel this role with a competence which would come to perhaps rogue level10. This means protecting the group from traps (mechanical, technological, magical & don't forget social or personal) & ambushes, disarming traps, picking locks and all other obvious yet superficial skills. Any idiot can get a level 40 character by cheat or waste of real life time, it doesn't really make the point. A newbie player will go bully with a strong figure or do other newbie mistakes while claiming to be the greatest veteran on the field. It comes down to spoiling fun. People who 'got something to prove' or either manipulated, paid for it or often simply immature? It doesn't need a Buddha or Dalai Lama (more famous skinheads) to find out. Positive thinking, plenty of people go World of Warcraft instead of pestering in pen & paper.

For an author it comes down to this: to write a really good role-playing adventure as the offspring's audio tale, pc game or movie; it could be good to get a team of qualified (real, not just on paper) people who naturally fit into the stereotypical roles of the chosen system as setting and have the competence to bring results, including the ability to fulfill the stereotype as to outmatch it (so less experienced have something unique to learn). For now my position is far from optimum, yet I found a handful of creative souls which I would ask. The same should be true on anybody else who claims to be roleplayer, author or artist. Taking for granted. Believe it or not, stuff like gravity is not my personal invention and when I mention it, it is not about violating copyrights. Further even when you don't steal stuff, some books, movies, women or clichés have influenced you as me and will reflect in works, especially when the mind is not busy with continuing to write or contemplate. To a degree this seems human nature. Oh did you notice that even people who never studied at university can fall flat on their nose and such? There is a disgusting freak-flaw in academics which makes them claim people are not allowed to be smarter than them or independent from them. Their failure is their responsibility as my failure would be mine. Further, flaw of this overpaid professions is, they are replaceable like nobody else. How many doctors, dentists or otherwise self-proclaimed elitists are in each city of this planet? Plenty would be a good guess, enough to never need one individual academic another. Don't forget that newbie means new to a certain topic, not less talented or otherwise limited. Further, I have the sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one who does not appreciate being discriminated against. If propaganda would be all, we would still worship Hitler and watch the media fight if we should now all like George W. Bush. Or some other crap heads who never deserved such jobs. Hey, am I next? Come on, I only want the money. Does anybody remember dreamweb? A game where some (psychopathic or saintly) guy dreams of official people doing atrocities, speaks to some dream world guru, wakes up and knows how to kill them. In the end, dreams can't protect you from the real world bullets of the police. Nothing too new, the spirits didn't protect from American rifles at Wounded Knee (or elsewhere) either.

The British seem to know why common sense is so often mentioned by them. The lessons I learned or remembered from Dreamweb and Planescape Torment are crucial in what 'inspires' (some prefer makes me freak out again) me to write this file, which I originally wanted to be an essay with a tutorial role-play adventure. Note on Fiction: The final crusade - no choice given? I don't care much if it is intended as a message, pure coincidence or latent racism. Plenty of official games have the message that Muslim and even much more often India's spirituality is the vile, evil enemy. Besides my note on Americans, it comes down to this for me: I like real fantasy role-play not racist aphasia role-play. I contemplate: Monotheism and Polytheism are a bit extreme when it comes to tolerating each others lifestyle. Further people from one side of the frontier like to pick only those quotes of the opposition, which fit their own agenda. Again, nothing new. So if I get laid with a Muslim woman (given she is willing and solo), I am still a good guy. A woman from India (given she is willing and solo) on the other hand is a completely different topic. First, she is not a human and sure as hell not a woman, she is a demon in disguise with some agenda which makes paranoidschizophrenics look like critical scientists? Really, plenty of evil creatures are depicted by that cultures symbolism and clothing style. Of course being dependent on the 'mercy' (big, cynical laughter those before us didn't call it next step mercy night) of my culture, I can only agree. “No human rights to polytheists is our necessary, for we discovered theirs, secret agenda until we choose to neglect the obvious which is not my job (yet?)”. They taint our culture, way of life and religion precisely as some freaky programmers 'foretold' it in their computer games? Yeah, sounds very plausible, if one wants to believe in it. It seemingly makes life easier. All blame & guilt to the opposition. I had no problematic childhood and didn't make mistakes in my life. It was all part of their sadistic, vicious and despicable schemes and intrigues to weaken our culture! No, they are not just of a different opinion or from another perspective, they say and act that way to harm us all the time!

Did you see my as weird, futile or meaningless? No, I am a great crusader in the holy order of the feather (ok, computer keyboard) disarming their propagandatraps, giving warnings or protecting our valiant defenders of the faith. Even while poverty devours me, again, as part of their sadistic joy to harm us. Monstrous polytheism, must be a dire disease. I like real fantasy role-play not racist aphasia role-play. Of course, you knew The ladies and gentlemen, gangsta and bitches, boys and girlies caught me again. I wrote those last pages without a single nip of alcohol and it shows. Sorry, was out of money and had this switch from coffee to tea phase. You can't sleep yet are not really as wake as with good coffee. Some guy who wants his personal addiction to porn be seen as altruistic gift for societies enlightenment once said or quoted: Love your body for it is the one part of the soul we can sense 24 hours per day. Seems accidents, sickness and violence were beyond his cookie wisdom? Truth is, any artist knows that true art is, among others, to manifest into the physical world what the muse or soul perceives. If this then is living a good relationship or a Picasso painting surely is individual, as in the often quoted 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. I do not speak for the church (pauper, not priest) and still see this as quite a reminder. One which is even more important for people who are indoctrinated (not much matter if science, politics or sect), dogmatic momma boys or simply dumb is a mentioned line from Joe Strummers 'Redemption Song: 'Emancipate yourself from mental slavery - none but ourselves can free our minds'

It sounds so simple. It rarely is. • Understanding that changing your life means living differently every day and night, not just some big words. That’s were many fail. Did you ever do a self-defense course? Isn't it easy to get accustomed to it and anticipate what the trainer wants to hear? At least, in comparison to how difficult it is to really react properly in a potentially dangerous situation? Or seduction, the amount of information needed is comparably small to the task of properly being in the mood and communicating by words as non-verbal (mimic, gestures or pure sex appeal) what leads you to your personal result (often called getting laid in the surroundings I know).

It sure breeds trouble but this file needs feminine rounding Now where a babe, blade and boobs are DELETED, it feels so much less...sexist piggy pig pig. Today the heat in this rooftop room made it tough again. I took a long walk and wasted money on one Veltins Curuba -> That's beer with some fruit and Tequila, by the way. Has more percentage than German wheat beer (which has more than 0815 beer) and tastes comparably well. If I really would be sexist I wouldn't have wasted time on pseudo-monastic years. Further you didn't read the after-words of 'Banish with Laughcraft' when this comes up. Check it? www.e-stories.org/ or www.esnips.com Click 'our authors' and you find all my gratis samples straight after finding me by family name (Pietroschek, A.M.). Great, not one sentence of what I intended. Positive side: I will continue this file when I start to write (as mentioned above) the tutorial adventure for 'My cult of Thoolhoo'.

Notes on guiding a role-play adventure There is one mission from 'Thief, part one' which is quite all-round fantasy rogue. Means if you never played any role-play, yet intend to go rogue, this mission alone will greatly inspire you how to behave and what atmosphere may belong to thieves. There are others examples, yet to keep it gratis: I placed notes between the lines and in the after-words of 'Vudash Hexenwahn - The guild of Zion'. It's not all, yet if you manage to handle all this your chances of surviving from rogue level one to higher levels is already ok. Idiots called game master are not my problem, for they spoil your evening. As teenager I had to get the work done, so I expect it from any of you, too. Otherwise pay me well enough that I can hire a proper team and we might even bring above average results. It's about statistics. Every role-play system uses different attributes, skills and so on. Yet a mage remains a mage and a warrior will be the best martial character no matter what stats try to handle it on what tables or die-rolls. If I place short stats as in 'My cult of Thoolhoo' or quote D&D in the English fantasy files a game master or game mistress (storyteller, dungeon master and so forth), can be expected to 'translate' them properly into your chosen system. When I first read 'Risus - The anything RPG' I thought it's not enough. It was. Not that detailed yet therefor efficient time saver. Further a compass is not that much more and people found their way, some even without one. Further, I seriously emphasize WHFRP. It's my personal champion, no more no less. D&D has several unique strengths, yet failures in logic and complicated handling, too. It makes great sense in certain campaigns, yet always becomes a burden in other typical role-playing situations. Further as an author I write my own quick solution for I am not sure how far I can base upon official stuff without needing a license (when money is made with my files later).

In some of the more modern role-playing systems certain mix-character classes compensate weaknesses of the traditional ones for the price of sacrificing some power. Not always a bad choice, yet depends on your personal game guide, group and what adventure you will face again. Example: The classic mage or wizard will be a damn smart ass and learns nearly all which can be learned about magicking. The price for this will be rotten combat skills and same on most mundane survival skills. In our Shadowrun my down & dirty rat shaman scored much by using weapons and sacrificing one step of essence into bio-cybernetic reflex boost Effect: When a traditional mage covered by guards started to summon his damn dangerous elemental my rat shaman looked on the astral plane (to know what the enemy mage was up to) and then gave him or her a head shot before the summoning could be finished. Shock bolstered colt manhunter with laser sight or smart gun version with goggles were usually enough for they were damn defenseless while summoning. That's not look what a smart-ass I was. It's look how making the best of your chosen figure may even bring atmosphere and results. I mean, who expects a streetshaman to go for knightly duels equivalent? The deceased in our runs. OK, a dwarven bouncer gave my figure the Remington room-sweeper gut-shot straight into the morgue some months later. That's the point, compensating a mage or shamans weakness does not mean you can defeat a veteran specialized from birth in what you only practiced more than the stereotype. Yet it made my team survive, even against some damn tough odds. The point is not just defeat the NPC, but do it in a way which suits your figure. Research the real world Glock 18 and 9mm special ammunitions to become aware why rifles are rarely needed in a city. Further, a good handgun and a sniper rifle with some thinking makes often really more sense, less trouble and at least same results. Truth is, I dislike heavy violence, I would play America's Army or such if that would be my taste? Besides the Lone Wolf solo adventure books there followed some where you ventured across Magnamund with a mage, wordily translated named silver star. They gave an impression that artifice, subterfuge and fighting skills may really help more than spells and rituals alone.

Violence level as atmosphere should be suiting the story, not just logic for it is fantasy role-play not logic role-play? If your group is made up of mages only I wouldn't need intense meditation to find out what happens if I let them get ambushed by a bunch of assassins and warriors in magic-immunity gear? Exceptions are worlds like sanctuary. If you are too dumb, weapon-wise naked or deluded that kung fu will always defeat street-fighters, oops. If you survive one year as a city guard in sanctuary you know a great lesson about assassination, ambushes and bloodshed. If you know the setting, prepare properly. Or Ravenloft, the cliché vampire might even appreciate a good discussion, yet will usually drain you anyway. If the setting is predefined adapt to it as far, as survival will mean for your figure. Further, don't go loudmouth? Just because somewhere else a monk was fun, doesn't excuse lack of reading rules or player guides. Systems which are fond of martial arts usually over-estimate them to allow extended delving into the topic. Worlds where every beggar knows some secret family style and so on. That's a priority you should be (or be made) aware of before creating your figure? In more mature games or simply pseudo-occult Splatterpunk like 'Kult', this skill is not really that primary. Existent, yet rarely the big ace in the sleeve. A generic setting will usually balance the common classes and may give special or extended emphasis on fighting certain villains (or heroes if you are villain) like those boss-fights in beat em up games in those arcade gaming halls. The three compromises I experienced really often were: ● ●

●

The compromise which makes the group remain a group. The compromise (between group and story guide) which lets the adventure remain playable. (Mage - The Ascension) The compromise/improvisation which makes a player land an unexpected good idea or die roll where it really was surprise, story-blasting yet good atmosphere or big laughter surprise.

Quote Note I mentioned before that when I quote songs, I do it for the song lyrics can usually (really good chance) be found gratis only by typing the band name and title into any search engine. Heavy metal may not be your music, yet if the lyrics fit damn well, it's your chance to know what I mean without hurting your ears.

Occult Note again Read some books from it, practiced a notch here and there, even got some appreciated results I could 'teach' to others. I noted two important infos on this: I am not really proud that I had more women on my bed to teach them meditation or 'shamanic journey' or similar than to have sex. Yet that's me. The more important 2nd note is: I am out of it. I continue petty habitual stuff personally, I am not luring, not hinting and not any more interested in the occult. I don't consider what you think of it for as I say I do not owe you explanations or anything, further from my perspective making money and having fun (by personal definition) are really more important in life. Further occult and publication or opposites and I like author as my hobby, though it's not genuine. The Grand Theft Author Note • My mentioning of people, companies and institutions as their works is no challenge to their trademark or copyright. My text deals with a long established, fictional game-hobby for entertainment, legal money making and contemplation purposes only. Included pictures are and were never declared my property, because most, sure as hell was invented, they are not. When I do not mention who did the pictures or other included files, then I either forgot or simply don't know who created it and that there are rights reserved. A common exception is my retaliation against people who tried to threaten, sabotage or harm me or my works in ways which are illegal, disgusting or clearly against all facts. Oh, that previous sentence is secret. ☺ It can never be the simple explanations. Like that under Linux much which is forbidden under Windows remains free for all? No. Or that not even the mafia had as much trouble with EU-law as Microsoft got caught with? No.

Whatever it is and whoever did it, it's already clear that it just must be my fault. I vomit this because that's what the community so generously gave to me.

•

Oh and I can write new stuff, how can it be that those I stole it all from (including Goethe as far as claims go) can't, even when still alive? As if their accusations are any more than a criminal way to blackmail our attention and money. Where is my 'Condoleezza Vice City'?

Now this file will need some time for I made a mistake on my search for a re-education (job-stuff) and will have to suffer the consequences. Some months after the tutorial adventure for 'My cult of Thoolhoo' may be online this should be continued...

Pizza Hawaii & Pussycat Dolls 'Buttons' video-clip This may piss a lot of people (the prick-headed) off. Besides looking quite sexy, they can really dance. No, not juggling their feminine rounding to be allowed calling it dance. They can do both for real. Oops. Personally I think being a sexy woman sure looks good, yet being a sexy woman and dancing real good is even better. The habit of frequently going on stage with porn-people is a bit strange though. In Germany the rumor is they wondered why they are seen as harlots or whores (translation problem, take the lesser discriminating one to get the meaning, please)? Hookers was a slang word, perhaps? Hello, what did you expect, women showing up one stage with porn-starlets /pimps being seen as faithful virgins by society? It's a weird sign of our times that being prick-headed is now super protected and privileged by the USA as all who cheek-kiss it, no matter what really goes on. I just saw the first skilled dancing for years (within the music industry) by the pussycat dolls. I guess this is in a way worth noting, especially for it does not exclude still finding them sexy?

I saw Snoop Dog in that pseudo-satanist movie (Bones?). I like it though I am a bit unimportant for a.) the U.S.A as b.) blah, as if you have any more meaning to me. You don't like my writings, stop reading them!? My character-concept: I named this figure Pauper. Pauper was a failure at university who caught a pretty serious sickness and lost grip on his finance. Having survived years of poverty and squalor, only to experience his failure to ever get rich and happy result in struggling versus despair. His edge (edge = details based on highest stat) was awareness and introspection, he was more the kind of guy to enjoy some solitude and contemplate instead of boasting or moaning. He sensed something pushing him through life while he drifted to unpleasant jobs and fading illusions of romance. The moment his life broke apart he began to 'see the evil of the society he was trapped in'. Pauper is dominated by the treacherous essence of Nyarlathotep. Pauper was fascinated by the occult and had a natural vice for drink or drug which allowed vice to grow within him. He displays a certain strain to the trained eye (Myth Lore = Virtues), speaking that his past experiences still take quite some tribute. His hobby is humbly publishing in 'weird tales' magazines, accidentally manifold about his real competition among the awakened. Since his first love died he was recurrently shocked about his cold-blooded sense of self which only increased his loss of stance in normalcy. Only in those rare moments when a ritual is about to succeed does Pauper really feel alive anymore. This description is comparably weak and intended to be so. Any newbie should be able to come up with as much or re-formulate some cliché stuff to fit even better. If you choose a job, be reminded that property and duty can exist for a cultist. Further remember that cultists are 'at the lower end of the myths food chain'. Pauper is a treacherous individual who might even kill other cultists. While I guess psychology would say he blames society for his failure, remember in this myth and from a cult perspective this is quite a truth. Further cultists are still human, they can go where other myth creatures would stir too much attention or simply don't consider to find stuff.

My goblin patch There is one of those logic-failures in official D&D. I hereby give license to the official Dungeons & Dragons crew to use “my goblin patch” including modification of this hint. Goblins have no racial stats, yet they are as small as halflings, therefor they have the 'small stature' trait just like halflings. Then orcs and goblins sure as hell dislike dwarves as much as the dwarves hate them. So 'offensive training versus dwarves & elves' or ranger-like 'favored enemies': dwarves & elves should surely be mentioned as their racial traits. When half-orcs have night-vision we have a third missing entry under some racial descriptions. Orcs and goblins have some form of low-light or night-vision for sure, yes in D&D. To round it up without overdosing I would give the following first-level feats (noted under racial) to them, too. Orcs would get 'Thug' giving +2 to persuade and +2 to initiative. This mentality is nearly stereotype orcish and therefore suiting without giving them more benefits than any other race. Hobgoblins I never read about, further I guess if it still is a breach then the officials can get the hint now. This one is gratis anyway. Goblins get 'Bullheaded' with a +1 on will saves and +2 versus taunts. Goblins often show a damn tough attitude and being the smallest among heavily armed sadists and cannibals sure as hell gives plenty of opportunity to learn handling this? Orcs are barbarian (favored class?) and if you do not have 'The complete rogue by Michael Mearls' then I would say goblins should be rogue class as favored class. Mr. Mearls made up a rogue_subclass_barbarian and goblins sure as hell are it's crueler family. It would simply suit the atmosphere and most common expectations.

☺ The fatal flaw of the “D&D death cult”: DC.That's Die (-roll) Calculation. No, not a bunch of morbid freaks trying a divination to know when someone finally becomes worm-food or urn-filling. One die, many dice. It's those little tools we roll or which to be rolled are handled by computers (sometimes they cheat). Yes, it's just about defining difficulties to succeed or fail in fictional games. Really, it's even explained in detail in the official D&D rulebook. Bad Taste or dark Tales Evil reigns in the old republic. The government of the Teutonic tribes has recently and unknown to the public been slaughtered by the skull-Fugger tribe. Skull-Fugger mixes a sexual perversion, a hint to the Fugger bloodline (famous merchants) and Necromancy. It's becoming obvious. Germans enjoyed to live in the open or camp in their forests. Now evil rules. For centuries the dead have been buried in barrows. Now the insane government starts building barrows for the living. Entombed, nearly a death-camp to Teutonic eyes of that time. And as the barbarians who were discriminated by Rome already, do we need it again, or do you need a 'Varus lesson'? Famous quote from Julius 'XL Pimp of State' Caesar: ''Varus, Varus give my legions back to me''... In my application racists mutate into a piss-poor copy of the race they discriminated against or assaulted....step one on the road to eternal damnation? The skirmishes at Poverties Price It's been some years completely without pen & paper by now. I seriously wonder, if I still get it done. Yesterday night I had a minor chat with a cute woman from Berlin. She is starting as an author and I really could offer some help on the basics. Nothing too spectacular, just community business as usual. One disturbing truth I have to live with is that plenty of role-players have abandoned role-play not to make a career, but to waste their career. Hello? Shouldn't I be this kind of failure? Is this now seen as a privilege of the paupers or such? Worthy enough to be envied? Maybe talking about willpower does not mean they could really handle their own problems any better. Pooh. The summer heat is a bitch. Lacking sleep and sweating like hell when trying to meditate. Or sinking into an exhausting blackness of the own mind. Nothing spooky, just not muse enough. I just realized I like my petty Zen-note. It's criticism to some, clarification to others. Some notes on this author:

●

●

●

Pauper was the name I gave to a figure (D&D, later again in 'My cult of Thoolhoo which hints at Cthulhu as a page about Christian thoughts on it) and played around with. I didn't address me or consider me to be or to be like Pauper. People decided otherwise, ignoring me when I didn't use this nick in a certain chat-room and stopping to download, when I renamed the figures which are now all named Pauper again. I dislike it still, though I sense the intention at least partially. It's not world-shaking or well-paid, yet I reached at least a partial success with what made me write & publish again since the year 2000. First I am doing something (a bit) creative instead of just consuming TV or radio. Then I fulfilled a mission for my 'muse', namely I finished the basic version of 'Banish with Laughcraft' as it is destined to be. It was never negotiated that this in itself would make me rich or so. I helped some people and even more interesting I began to inspire a handful of similar-minded or completely differently oriented 'artists' (I would prefer creative souls), spread all over the world. I know it is not enough, yet better than a complete failure (my life has enough of them). Being a skinhead for years myself. It's quite simple, first I live my life. Second, if I consider violence an option than it's self-defense or wrath, not about skin color or religion for the complete time of my life since birth and the same is true about me having never needed violence thus far, too. Another minor difference is that I am publishing as discussing topics with 'otherwise oriented people' instead of attacking, doing it behind their backs or sending them to places like Guantanamo Bay. In 'The brown wizard combat team crypt' as 'My ale from Salem - darker than satanism' I posted a note about democracy: The privileged dabble about democracy (based on the medieval state of being demon crazed?) being the best form of (hated, superfluous or appreciated) government we have. That's true in a way. Just that they make the less pleasant parts and interpretations of democracy prosper to further their career and whatever nut-job agenda wanna-be elite university suggested. Living Democracy is more than selfishness and greed or thinking you could off anybody in the way. If you think about Democracy, remind yourself, that democracy is what we make of it? We have much to improve! Death itself does not care about skin colour, agenda, memberships, race, religion or lack of any. We are still learning to deal with it and criminals as lunatics trying to tweak it for benefit as terrorists & killer poultry sure do not make it any easier. When I check for what sucks, there is something good to be sucked from and therefore not everything is messed up. When Machiavelli said only those who profit from it make the bad sides remain in business, he was true.

Living my dream > don't fall to hollow associations? I met an agreement a while ago. It's far from being unproblematic and this was true from the start. Personally I consider it being broken by my 'partners'. This will culminate in a really unpleasant conflict, not suiting this file. The interest group promised to allow me living my dream. No, not dabbling 'I want this, that and even more crap'. Perhaps one needs some background in either oneiromancy, lucid dreaming research or even better practical experience and scientific guidance? I like sayings like the one I quote now from 'Werewolf - The Apocalypse' which is property of White Wolf Inc. and again, I am not challenging their rights or their products or the length of their ... 'A dream never shows the truth it unfolds until the sleeper awakens' I read some psychology stuff about people who flee into dream-worlds or daydreams. To a degree it's simply human, if you waste your life that way it may be an unhealthy over-dose? I am not a psychologist, can't inform you about that science or promise to 'heal' the soul which is often just another word for psyche. Side-Note: I am much more humorous as an author (or at least trying to be more humorous) than in real life. People who know me in both roles should be aware of this difference. If you leave your personal agenda and esoteric or other brain-crap out of the equation the quote I marked yellow in this chapter is quite meaningful. It took me some years to find that the meaning is often pretty mundane, which sure as hell is not the answer a role-player like me would have wanted it to be. ☺ There are some results, yet the problems of the agreement made me 'fail' and becoming the frustrated malcontent I wasn't born to be. Nobody is immune to years like that.

If you wonder why I mention that so short-cut remember the saying I placed at the start? Based on a quote from Shadowrun (as far as I know): 'Find your own truth - for only you can live your life.'

●

●

●

I wrote find your own truth, not freak out, go insane or commit crimes. Maybe I really meant what I wrote and not what you interpreted or wanted me to mean with it? Stay with the facts, it's often what it comes out to mean anyway. If you hear voices in your head or your pet tells you to torture or kill people or if you are a soldier and you can't distinguish in example between Muslim citizens and terrorists, please seek out a competent therapist immediately. Breaking another curse so to say: I finally return to Motorola. I will get a Motorola SLVR L7 for free!!! Yip! ☺ 13.07.2006 Noticed too late that some file-sharing software was running in the Internet-café while I uploaded and emailed my updates to [email protected] I am not creating a roleplay here, but trying to 'translate' some additional meaning. It is possible to handle it with most official works which are worth buying, yet we mixed. Well, each story-teller took the preferred system to guide the own sessions. The full campaign would take several dedicated evenings and that is, what makes me write only a short story. Several readers do not share the joy, just by reading. Therefor this is like a note in absence of the real bard who tells the tale. The memories of getting started It was a poor quarter of town. People living there wouldn't call it slums, they called it home. Pauper once had to live there, too. The quarter was filled with beggars, thugs, footpads, harlots and whores. Craftsmen as technicians were scarce, even they earned enough to live a better life elsewhere. This section of the city was sealed off for so long, that many did still now the outskirts and forests, but few remembered who the lord of the city would be or what happened in the better parts of the city. The privileged clouded in romantic poetry or sadistic joy often had discriminating words for those who had to survive here. The turf was not completely lost yet. Infrastructure offered some relief between those housings. To mention certain useful spots:

●

●

●

●

●

●

Pubs and brothels, official ones as unofficial ones there were plenty. Some mugged or poisoned their guests, others did business and some peculiar ones where facade or money-mill for interest groups the readers didn't yet discover. Pawnshops. One could say the sole survivors of poverty. Be it a smithy, be it clothing or medicine. Only the pawnshops had anything to offer here. With the years only their prices kept them in business while focused shops rotted away or fell to crime. The alchemists. Few in number and not all really studied, they offered the three most important wares for certain tastes: Weapon upgrades l, poisons & venoms as countermeasures to disease and their own wares. The libraries and Internet shops. Only some of them came in the cliché of books, the written word has it's problems, causes some by itself, too. Meeting points, depending on interests, had found their own places. Some straight in pubs, others in secret hideouts or the sewers. Supplies. Cheap food and simple solutions were very welcome day and night here. Needless to say, all shops or people who offered quality had a gang of citizens watching that they didn't get harmed. They are still crucial. Drug-dealers. Escaping into some biological or alchemystical dream often was the only option to really make it through the next days. The soul had no other Elysium in this area. Pauper's words on the gods and destiny

People have a habit of unleashing psychotic, dumb or esoterica crap whenever words like fate, destiny or karma are mentioned. It's what makes them a problem, not part of the citizens who try to better their lot. Others see such phrases as the perfect excuse for their incompetence or vice. A tsunami is a force which an individual cannot really handle. Such things happening as the way we deal with it may and really just may be in the direction that words like fate, destiny or karma could really talk about. Gods were not only by science proved a lie. Or madness. I do not doubt the faith, I doubt it's relevance. If I would have to mention 'higher forces' which are often even worshiped and at least globally active.

I could name some. Interesting to note, that they are stand alone as well as coming in combinations.

●

●

●

●

●

Madness. This is a global player for sure, nobody is really immune to it. It is like a weird deity from those fantasy games. It reigns, inspires and in nearly infinite other ways influences the real life in the real world. Prejudices, too. Vices. Sure as hell this planet would be better off and further developed when utopia would be real. Well, utopia often gets boring and vices can be learned to live with or evade. It's rarely easy and no guarantee either though. Sickness & Suffering. They are global players which have power over body and soul. Fucking around and then dabbling love does not make the virus heal away. Death. The one limit we all are reminded of and the one force we all will fall to for sure. Very multi-faceted possibilities of meeting it. Not only symbolically. Passion. That's those rare moments when something is really art by muse or perhaps even real love. It often impacts with more force than a sledge hammer or a truth of life. This is what made me contemplate that 'moments of truth' have the ambivalence of virtue and vice themselves.

So Pauper sees no hope, no faith? Well, the author does, yet such things are in truth what you make of it and I am not lacking the confidence to accept that life has a habit of making us suffer more than we gain from it. When I wrote in 'My cult of Thoolhoo' that one day all of us may realize that we are already trapped in a bleak universe which exists to eradicate all of us, didn't I mention precisely those facts which we as species opposed to ever develop out of the stone age? My failure within society had also beneficial side-effects. As I mentioned in a file available in German only or exclusively in the English version of 'Vudash Hexenwahn – the guild of Zion'. Some readers sensed truth between the lines even in 'Anathema – the skinhead revelation'. Others were deluded that they did so, sorry. As a roleplayer I would say my 'intuition' is just more efficient (yet more unreliable too) then my mind as defined by society. Later I found that I have something often associated with artists in my soul.

Yet with different priorities and as sure as I am mortal, I do not consider myself in the same league as Picasso or other people who deserve what society meant with artist, before madness and word-games clouded the truth. I know, yet I have to live in this society and sometimes, I even appreciate it. I call it a partial compatibility or family (as in lifestyles) symptom. Our souls have some similar sense or priority, yet with a different purpose. That's, to me for now, like a healer meeting a necromancer. Or to give an example of a tainted state like a surgeon meeting a serial killer? A recent example about anything dark and black-humored would be how similar facts are handled completely different within the Gothic subculture and the black metal subculture. I said subculture, not any freak claiming to belong or being an expert. The same society which focuses on their psychological idiosyncrasies is not integer enough to admit how often they, as many other people of different styles or lack of some, contribute to society due their chosen path.

Why Hollywood Stars can't be that real Being real means you are the person you are (living the soul), not necessarily what life made you become and surely not what society expects you to be. Because millions of people get sacrificed to finance some freak-legion posturing as Stars, officials or superior life-forms. I didn't write committing crimes or doing monstrosities or atrocities (Americanization) , for there is a difference. It just angers the psychological studied for they can only make money when you are disturbed / mentally sick or believing to be disturbed / mentally sick at a minimum. A real Gothic or hip-hopper lives that way because it comes natural to him or her. Not just to compensate as to get attention or make money. Stars on the other hand must not be assholes (yet most are, well-masked but true) posturing as nice people, they really depend on having fans. It's rarely enough to be liked by those people who are like you in that business. If a cop, paramedic, fire-fighter, taxi or bus driver or soldier sacrifices some personality to get a proper job done I would label it more of a virtue. Until you forget or neglect your family or wife about it?

For a Star it is more a (quite selfish and greedy, for we normal people never get that amounts of money) necessity. It's part of their job, plain and simple. Even in everyday jobs we run a risk of losing ourselves into routine. This is not always healthy and quite a lot of people admitted they wasted their life due falling prey to 'that's the best way' delusions. As a pauper it doesn't matter that much if you know how to rise in society. The 'forces and mechanisms' which could make you do so, just do not seem to work. Exploit by underpaid jobs or consequences of the own way of life have something to do with it, yet I doubt that they are the complete explanation.