Draft 3 3

Cristina Rojas-Bolson Wilson Pd.3 3/6/19

When i was 15 i moved across state, i was tired of the constant moving and the struggles with myself and life situations that came along. the following summer from moving i had tried to emancipate myself from my mom. it was very scary and a lot of work. in the end i realised i can still go on everyday as long as i have my sisters and we all stay strong and that i need to work on it with my mom.

It was out of the middle of nowhere my mom’s boyfriend pulled up to the basement and told us that they were in a break up… He told us to wait on my mom. When my mom had gotten a News she was broken and wanted to fix things we were hurt It was out of the middle of nowhere my mom’s boyfriend pulled us to the basement and told us that they were in a break up… He told us before he told my mom. When my mom had gotten a News she was broken and wanted to fix things we. so not her she voices she hated him and wanted to move super far away so out of the blue she decided North Carolina. my mom told us two weeks before we moved and it happened to be right before the end of the year. my sisters and I did not want to go. we were hurt too and we were tired of moving around because that’s all we did growing up. finally we felt like we were at home.

We moved in to the new house in new Bern and all of us girls were scared for was going to come with my mom‘s heart ache… In the past we experienced hell from my moms break ups she was never home we always worried it was always a new guy and we were just scared and tired of it, we never wanted to be home already all we did was clean all day watch the baby clean go to sleep wake up and go to school in the cycle continued, but we managed to make it work by cleaning during the day and helping her out and going to sleep and I’m going to school the next day. As summer came around my eldest sister Selena and i had left our mom to go back to Pennsylvania to be with our friends and family and by family i mean the only friends we had thought of as family from the simple fact we don't have any. while we were in Pennsylvania we just couldn’t bear leaving and wanted to stay in our eyes what was really worth going back to new bern. selena and i decided that’s it we aren’t going back. I remember calling my sister and Selena told me that she would, she was in a help me and she did too and extent until didn’t benefit her. My sister Selena had talk to my mom and buttered her up to signing her rights over to our aunt. well I didn’t have that family member to help me so with the help of others I decided to file for emancipation as a 15-year-old. Filed emancipation and a protection order. of course my mom was furious call the police and said I was a runaway but she knew exactly were i was.

I remember before I fell for me as a patient I try talking to my mom about staying because of how I felt about everything that was going on I haven’t talk to her all summer and she had already found a new man and got engaged to him. I remember calling her and this man yelled at me and that’s when I knew I was done and trust me filing for this it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. my boyfriend his mom and sister all helped me same with my mom’s two

best friends I knew that things were OK as time passed by I took my mom to court. I remember seeing her face in my feelings haven’t changed all I wanna do but I saw my stronger sisters face I knew I couldn’t leave her. I was given the option to stay but my sister didn’t have to she wanted to and that was the decision I had to pass up because I couldn’t leave my sister behind. I ended up going back to Newbern with my mom as much as I didn’t want to be there I was happy to be there with my sister. My mom and I have talked things out and she’s apologized for the mistake she’s my love as a mother and I’ve excepted it and we work on it every day how relationship isn’t the best but it’s growing stronger.

Narrative Essay Rubric (Honors) Score: 35/50 W.9-10.3​. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Standard 3.a​. ​Introduction​ Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.

Exceptional (10-9) ❏

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation in a compelling and/or creative manner

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Establish an insightful, original, or creative point of view

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Introduce a ​complex and/or creative narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize ​two or more (teacher discretion) narrative techniques with purpose: dialogue, pacing, description, reflection,

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3.b. ​Narrative​ - ​Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences,

Effectively hook the reader with a creative, original, and compelling hook

Proficient (8-7) ❏

Hook the reader with a compelling hook

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation

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Establish an insightful point of view

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Introduce a narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines

Emerging (6-1)

Not Evident (0)

multiple plot lines, etc…

events, and/or characters. 7

3.c​. ​Organization​ - ​Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole.

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters and to clearly develop a purposeful theme

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Use ​purposefully narrative techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks in a ​highly effective manner​ ​to create an original plot structure

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3.d.​ ​Language​ - ​Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters in attempt to convey theme

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Use appropriately techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical and engaging

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical, ​creative, and sophisticated ​and that uses ​highly engaging devices

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Use precise, detailed and ​sophisticated words, phrases, and sensory language​ to engage the reader ​and convey a​ ​vivid picture

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Use precise and detailed words, phrases, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Extends the meaning and purpose to connect to the audience ​and​ ​convey a complex and original theme

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Extends the meaning to convey a theme

7 3.e.​ ​Conclusion​ - ​Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative. 7