Cockney Rhyming Slang

Cockney Rhyming Slang What's a Cockney? A true Cockney is someone born within the sound of Bow Bells. (St Mary-le-Bow Church in Cheapside, London). However the term Cockney is now loosely applied to many born outside this area as long as they have a "Cockney" accent or a Cockney heritage. The Cockneys have their own secret language known only to the working class and lower class people of London. The Cockney accent is heard less often in Central London these days but is widely heard in the outer London boroughs, the London suburbs and all across South East England. It is common in Bedfordshire towns like Luton and Leighton Buzzard, and Essex towns such as Romford.

What's Rhyming Slang? Rhyming Slang phrases are derived from taking an expression which rhymes with a word and then using that expression instead of the word. For example the word "look" rhymes with "butcher's hook". In many cases the rhyming word is omitted - so you won't find too many Londoners having a "bucher's hook" at this book, but you might find a few having a "butcher's".

Why is Cockney Rhyming Slang called so? A Cockney is a Londoner; the original definition was someone born near enough to hear the bells of Bow, which meant people in the east of the city. The word Cockney means the egg of a cockerel (male hen) and was meant as an insult, implying dishonesty in business deals by trying to sell non-existent or low quality goods, or so the story goes. The term is now used happily and proudly by the people of the east and north of London, who regard themselves as the 'real' Londoners in a very cosmopolitan city where a lot of the population have come in from other areas of the country or abroad. As well as having a distinctive pronunciation and many grammatical features, the language of London is most notable for its Rhyming Slang. This consists of using a phrase that rhymes, sounds the same, as the word you want to say, so 'telephone' becomes 'dog and bone'. Unfortunately, many of the phrases then lose the second word, making it very hard for the outsider to guess the original meaning; 'rabbit' for 'talk' comes from the phrase 'rabbit and pork', but few would be able to guess it. A lot of the original rhyming slang appeared among the market traders in the east end of London in the 19th century, but it is still used and new words and phrases are being invented all the time. At the moment, it is very fashionable to use famous people's names, so the DJ Pete Tong is used meaning 'wrong''thing's have gone Pete Tong'.

-This table will help you to understand Cockney Rhyming Slang…

1

[email protected]

English

Slang

Usage

1st (first class degree)

Geoff Hurst

He managed a Geoff [Geoff Hurst was a soccer player]

2:2 (lower second class degree)

Desmond Tutu

He’s got his Desmond.

3rd (third class degree)

Douglas Hurd

I got a Desmond but he only managed a Douglas.

All Dayer (all day drinking session)

Leo Sayer

Let's make it a Leo Sayer.

All Dayer (all day drinking)

Gary Player

Let's make it a Gary Player.

Alone

Jack Jones

He went to the pub all Jack.

Alone

Pat Malone

I'm all pat tonight.

Alone

Todd Sloan

Looks like I'm on my Todd tonight. [Todd Sloan was a famous jockey]

Arm

Chalk Farm

He broke his chalk.

Army

Daft and Barmy

He was promoted in the daft.

Army

Kate Karney

He's off and joined the Kate. [Kate Carney (18691950), a comedienne, was born into a music hall family in London. She made her first stage appearance at the Albert Music Hall, Canning Town, and later became famous for her cockney character songs. These songs established her at the top of the bill and she was described as 'The Cockney Queen']

Arse

April in Paris

I’m ‘aving terrible trouble with me April.

Arse

Aristotle=Bottle=Bottle and Glass=Arse; therefore, Aris=Arse

I gave him a good kick up the Aris. See also bottle.

Arse

Bottle and Glass

I gave him a good kick up the bottle.

Arse

Khyber Pass

Stick it up your khyber.

Arse

Rolf Harris

She kicked him in the Rolf.

Arsehole

Elephant & Castle

He's a bit of an elephant.

Arsehole

Jam Roll

That geezer is a right jam roll.

Arsehole

Merry Old Soul

‘e’s a bit of a merry old soul.

Aunt

Mrs. Chant

He didn't know what to get his Mrs. Chant for Christmas.

Back

Cadbury Snack

Me cadbury's playing me up.

2

[email protected]

Back

Hammer and Tack

Ooh! Me 'ammer and tack's playing me up again.

Back

Hat Rack

He fell off the roof and broke his hat rack.

Back

Union Jack

My old Union Jack's giving me gyp something chronic.

Bad

Sorry and Sad

That dinner was a bit sorry.

Balls (testicles)

Berlin Walls

Me pants are too tight and making me berlins wobbly.

Balls (testicles)

Cobbler's Awls

Go on! Kick him in the cobblers! [It also can be used to express disbelief, such as "Cobblers! That's not the way it is."]

Balls (testicles)

Coffee Stalls

He gave him a kick in the corfies [The pronunciation is corfie, not coffee]

Balls (testicles)

Niagara Falls

I got him in his niagara's.

Balls (testicles)

Orchestra Stalls

He nearly got hit in the orchestra.

Balls (testicles)

Royal Albert Hall

I kicked this geezer straight in the Royal Alberts.

Banana

Gertie Gitana

I like a gertie on my cereal [Possibly an old music hall star]

Bank

Armitage Shank

I’m off to the armitage [Armitage Shank is the maker of fine porcelain fixtures found in washrooms everywhere]

Bank

Cab Rank

I won't be long - just going to the cab rank.

Bank

Iron Tank

He lost his house to the iron.

Bank

J. Arthur Rank

Gotta get a cock & hen from the J Arthur.

Bank

Sherman Tank

He's off to the Sherman.

Bank

Tommy Tank

I'm going 'round the tommy to pay in a gooses. [See also Wank]

Bar (pub)

Jack Tar

I'm off to the Jack. [See also 'Alone' and Bar (pub)]

Bar (pub)

Near and Far

I saw him at the near.

Barber

Dover Harbour

I’m off to Dover to get me barnet sorted.

Barking (mad)

Three stops down from Plaistow

He’s three stops down from Plaistow [From the London Underground District Line]

Barrow

Cock Sparrow

He's wheeling his cock 'round the market. [In the north this expression can also refer to a friend, as in "Hello me old cock sparrow"]

Bath

Steffi Graf

I’m just going for a steffi.

Bed

Uncle Ted

I'm off to Uncle Ted.

Beer

Pig's Ear

Can I buy you a pig?

Beers

Brittney Spears

'ow about a Brittney?" [Brittney Spears is a popular singer]

3

[email protected]

Believe

Adam and Eve

I don't Adam and Eve it! [Usually full slang expression is used]

Belly

Auntie Nellie

I punched him in the Auntie but he didn't even notice.

Belly

Derby Kelly

That's the stuff for you Derby Kell; makes you fit and it makes you well [From old cockney song Boiled Beef and Carrots - pronounced Darby]

Belly

New Delhi

Look at the new delhi on him!

Bender (homosexual)

Leo Fender

That blokes a bit leo after all. [The late Leo Fender was the inventor of the Stratocaster guitar]

Bent (criminal)

Stoke on Trent

'e's stoke he is. [See also 'Bent (gay)']

Bent (homosexual)

Behind with the Rent

You're not behind with the rent?

Bent (homosexual)

Duke of Kent

Bet you any money e's a duke.

Bent (homosexual)

Stoke on Trent

That bloke's a bit stoke. [See also 'Bent (criminal)']

Best

Mae West

I'm Mae West at Cockney Rhyming Slang.

Beverage

Edna Everage

Would you like an Edna?

Bill (statement)

Beecham's Pill

I got my Beecham's from the tax people.

Bill (statement)

Jack and Jill

I'm going home - can I have my Jack? [See also Hill]

Bill (statement)

Jimmy Hill

Have we paid the Jimmy Hill yet? [Jimmy Hill is a football pundit and former player]

Bird

Richard the Third

Look what that bloody Richard's done to my car!

Bird (woman)

Lemon Curd

I’m off to see me lemon.

Bitter (beer)

Apple Fritter

I've tried that new apple but I prefer my salmon [Salmon and trout - stout].

Bitter (beer)

Gary Glitter

Give us a pint of gary.

Bitter (beer)

Giggle and Titter

'ere. I could use a giggle.

Bitter (beer)

Kitty Litter

A pint of kitty litter please.

Blind

Bacon Rind

Are you completely bacon?

Blonde

Magic Wand

I pulled a top magic wand last night.

Boat

Nanny Goat

I took my nanny out on the river.

Bog (toilet)

Kermit the Frog

Sorry mate - where's the Kermit.

Boil

Can of Oil

'e'd be nice looking once his canov's clear up.

Boil

Conan Doyle

'e's got a conan on his bottle the size of me fist! [Very often the expression used is "Sir Arthur", as in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - He's got a Sir Arfur on his bushel]

Bollocks

Jackson Pollock

This modern art's a load of old Jacksons [Pollock is a "20th Century strange artist"]

4

[email protected]

Bones

Tom Jones

Ooh, me toms are clicking.

Book

Captain Hook

I've read this captain.

Book

Fish Hook

I've read the new fish by Deighton.

Boots

Daisy Roots

You can't go out in the rain without your daisies.

Booze

Tom Cruise

I need some Tom.

Boozer (pub)

Battle Cruiser

I'm going to pop round the battle before I go to the party.

Boss

Joe Goss

Never trust a joe [Joe Goss was a talented boxer]

Boss

Pitch and Toss

My bloody pitch kept me late again.

Bottle

Aristotle

If you want milk, put the Ari on the doorstep.

Bra

Tung Chee Hwa

I'm off to buy a tung for the troubles birthday [Not widely used. Tung Chee Hwa is the Chief Executive of Hong Kong]

Braces

Airs and Graces

He's got his new airs on.

Brandy

Fine and Dandy

A small drop of fine would suit me.

Bread

Uncle Fred

Hey, mum. Can I have some Uncle Fred with this?

Bread (money)

Poppy Red

Where's he stashed his poppy.

Breast

East West

‘ave a look at her easts.

Broke (financial)

Hearts of Oak

I'm skint mate. Bleedin' hearts.

Brother

Manhole Cover

My manhole cover is coming for a visit. [How does manhole cover rhyme with brother you ask? Simple... if you pronounce brother as "bruvver"!]

Brother

One and t'other

'ere's me one and t'other now.

Brussel Sprout

Doubt

Without a brussel mate.

Brussel Sprout

Shout

Give us a brussel when you're up to it.

Bug

Steam Tug

The bed was full of steamers.

Bum

Kingdom Come

He just sat on his kingdom all day.

Bunion

Spanish Onion

Oooh – ‘e’s stepped on me Spanish onion.

Bunk (bed)

Pineapple Chunk

I could use a couple of hours in the pineapple.

Burst (urinate)

Geoff Hurst

I'm dying for a Geoff.

Bus

So Say All Of Us

hurry - here's the sosay.

Butter

Stammer and Stutter

Extra stammer for me.

Butter

Talk and Mutter

Would you like some talk on your toast.

Cab (taxi)

Flounder & Dab

See if you can flag down a flounder.

Cab (taxi)

Sherbet Dab

'e's been on the sherbet for five years (driving a cab).

5

[email protected]

Cab (taxi)

Smash & Grab

Let's look for a smash and grab.

Café (pronounced caff)

Riff Raff

I'm off to the riff raff.

Cake

Sexton Blake

'ow about a nice slice of sexton?

Candle

Harry Randall

Look at all the Harry's on his cake.

Cans (headphones)

Desperate Dans

'ere - put your desperates on.

Car

Jam Jar

Bloody jam is down again.

Car

Kareem Abdul Jabbar

Bloody kareem is down again. [Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a basketball player in the U.S]

Cardy (cardigan)

Linda Lusardi

Oh my God – look at that awful Linda he’s wearing.

Cash

Arthur Ashe

That blokes not short of Arthur.

Cash

Bangers and Mash

I knew his cheques were dodgy, so I got him to pay me in bangers. [See also Sausage and Mash]

Cash

Crosby, Stills, Nash

That blokes not short of Crosby.

Cash

Harry Nash

There’s a discount if you’re paying Harry Nash.

Cash

Oscar Asche

Haven't got an Oscar.

Cash

Sausage and Mash

I haven't got a sausage. [See also bangers and mash].

Cash

Slap Dash

I haven't any slap dash on me.

Cell

Flowery Dell

I've got three more years in this flower.

Chair

Lion's Lair

Have a lion's while you wait.

Chalk

Duke of York

All I got for my birthday is a bit of duke.

Chancer (someone not qualified)

Bengal Lancer

News paper adds would state no bengal lancers when advertising for tradesmen.

Change

Rifle Range

I haven’t got and rifle for the bus.

Chat

Bowler Hat

Let’s get together for a bowler.

Cheek

Hide and Seek

He kissed me on my hide and seek.

Cheese

John Cleese

I'm meeting the big John Cleese today at work.

Cheese

Stand at Ease

Wouldn't mind a bit of ease.

Cheque

Goose's Neck

He stuck me with a bouncing goose.

Cheque

Gregory Peck

I never 'ad any bread on me, so I 'ad to pay by Gregory.

Cheque

Jeff Beck

I'll send you a Jeff Beck.

Chest

Bird's Nest

I had to punch him in the bird's nest.

Chest

George Best

(In football) Over 'ere son, on me Georgie [George Best is a famous footballer]

Chest

Pants and Vest

This cough is killing me pants and vest.

Child Molester

Charlie Chester

Have you seen how young ‘is bird is? He’s a right

6

[email protected]

Charlie Chester. Child Molester

Uncle Fester

He's a bit of an Uncle Fester.

Chin

Biscuit Tin

He's got a big biscuit.

Chink (Chinese)

Rink-a-dink

We're going to get rinky take-away.

Chink (Chinese)

Tiddley Wink

‘e’s not from around these parts. I think e’s a tiddley.

Chips

Jockey Whips

I'll have a large plate of jockey's.

Chum

Fruit Gum

How yer doing, my old fruit.

Cider

Easy Rider

Pint of Easy Rider please.

Cider

Sue Ryder

Give us a pint of Sue, mate [The Sue Ryder Foundation works for the sick and disabled]

Cider

Winona Ryder

Can I get two pints of winona please.

Cigar

La-di-da

I enjoy a good la-di-da after me meal.

Clanger (mistake)

Coat Hanger

He dropped a coat.

Class

Bottle and Glass

He don't have the bottle.

Clink (jail)

Kitchen Sink

After that last episode he'll be in the kitchen for a while.

Clock

Dickory Dock

What's the time on the dickory? [Cabbies using this expression to refer to the meter]

Clue

Danny LaRue

He ain't got a danny.

Clue

Pot of Glue

'e hasn't got a pot of glue.

Clue

Scooby-Doo

I haven't got a Scooby.

Clue

Vindaloo

He hasn’t got a bloody vinda.

Coat

Nanny Goat

Put your nannies on - it's taters out.

Coat

Weasel and Stoat

I left my weasel in the pub. [See also throat]

Cockney Rhyming Slang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

We're talking about chitty chitty in this book.

Coffee

Everton Toffee

I’ll have an everton.

Cold

Potatoes in the Mould

Blimey – it’s taters out there.

Cold

Potatoes in the mould

Cor, taters out there init?

Cook

Babbling Brook

My missus couldn't babble to save her life. [See also Crook]

Copper (police)

Grasshopper

He got nabbed by the grasshoppers.

Coppers (police)

Bottles and Stoppers

Blimey - I think the bottles are on to me!

Corner

Johnnie Horner

I'll meet you 'round the Johnnie.

Cough

Boris Karloff

That’s a nasty Boris you’ve got there mate.

Cough

Boris Karloff

That’s a nasty old boris you’ve got there son.

Cough

Darren Gough

This Darren is killing me pants and vest.

7

[email protected]

Crabs (pubic lice)

Marble Slabs

E's got a right case of marbles.

Crap

Macca

I'm off for a macca [this one a bit convoluted but apparently it's common in some areas. Comes from Macaroni = pony; Pony & Trap = Crap]

Crap

Pony and Trap

'Ang on, mate. Just gotta 'ave a pony. Or, another usage if something's a bit off (i.e..not of good quality) That's a bit pony mate!

Crash

Sausage and Mash

He was in a fearsome sausage.

Crime

Lemon Lime

Not one lemon reported all night.

Cripple

Raspberry Ripple

The old boy's a raspberry.

Crook

Babbling Brook

He's always on the babble. [Meaning he's always planning something crooked. See also Cook]

Cuddle

Mix and Muddle

Come and give us a nice mix and muddle.

Cunt

Berkshire Hunt

He's a right berk.

Cunt

Ethan Hunt

He's a right Ethan [Ethan Hunt is the main characters name in "Mission Impossible"]

Cunt

Grumble and Grunt

He's after your grumble.

Cunt

Struggle and Grunt

That ones a right struggle.

Cupboard

Mother Hubbard

There's nothing in the mother.

Curry

Ruby Murray

I'm going for a ruby. [Ruby Murray was a singer in Glasgow]

Curtains

Richard Burtons

Shut the Richards - I'm trying to get some kip.

Darlin'

Briney Marlin

You look lovely tonight, me old briney.

Daughter

Bricks and Mortar

I'm taking me bricks and mortar shopping.

Daughter

Didn't oughta

He brought his didn't oughta.

Daughter

Lamb to the Slaughter

That blokes lamb is a real stunner.

Dead

Brown Bread

I'm telling you, mate. He's brown bread.

Dead

Hovis Bread

Old Jim is hovis.

Deaf

Mutt and Jeff

Poor buggers mutt and jeff. [Usually full slang expression is used. [Very often the expression is shortened to mutton as in "Poor buggers mutton"]

Decks (turntables)

Posh ‘n Becks

Have you got yer posh ‘n becks yet.

Dick (penis)

Hampton Wick

He got his hampton out in the pub last night.

Dick (penis)

Three Card Trick

She couldn't keep her jazz bands off my three card

8

[email protected]

trick. Dictionary

Tom, Dick and Harry

I’ll just check the meaning in the tom.

Dinner

Jim Skinner

Is my Jim ready yet?

Dinner

Lilly and Skinner

What’s for lilly and skinner.

Dinner

Michael Winner

I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner. [Michael Winner is the food critic for the Sunday Times]

Doddle (easy or straight Glenn Hoddle forward)

That jobs a Glen Hoddle. [Glenn Hoddle is the coach of the English football team replacing Terry Venables]

Dog

Cherry Hogg

My bloody cherry is off again.

Dole (welfare)

Ear’ole (Ear Hole)

If I get the tin tack I’m going on the ear’ole.

Dole (welfare)

Nat King Cole

I've got to sign on the old Nat King [It's also known as Old King Cole]

Dole (welfare)

Rock and Roll

'e hasn't worked a day in 'is life... 'e's always been on the rock and roll.

Dole (welfare)

Sausage Roll

He ain't worked in years - he's on the sausage.

Dollar

Oxford Scholar

Stupid horse cost me an Oxford. [Pre-war the dollar was worth just less than 5 shillings, so an Oxford is worth 5 shillings or a crown]

Door

Henry Moore

They broke the 'enry down at number thirty two.

Dope (marijuana)

Bob Hope

I think he’s been smoking a bit of Bob Hope.

Draft

George Raft

There's a bit of a george in here.

Drink

Tiddley Wink

Just one more tiddley and I'm off; or, He's popped down to the pub for a tiddle.

Drugs

Persian Rugs

‘ere mate. Got any Persians?

Drunk

Elephant's Trunk

He shouldn't be driving! He's bloody elephant's.

Dump (shit)

Camel's Hump

Just going for a quick camels.

Dump (shit)

Donald Trump

I've got to go for a Donald.

Dump (shit)

Forrest Gump

"Off out in 10 minutes?" "Yeah, just got to have a Forrest first".

Dyke (Lesbian)

Magnus Pike

She looks like a right Magnus [Magnus Pike was an 'off the wall' TV personality who would (and could) explain complex scientific concepts to kids]

Dyke (lesbian)

Raleigh Bike

She’s a right Raleigh.

Dyke (Lesbian)

Three Wheel Trike

She's a bit of a three wheeler [The expression rusy bike is used too]

Early

Liz Hurley

‘e’s never gotten here liz.

Earner

Bunsen Burner

The jobs not much but it's a nice little Bunsen.

Ears

Ten Speed Gears

Look at the size of 'is ten speeds.

Engineer

Ginger Beer

He knows his stuff. He is a ginger, after all.

9

[email protected]

Erection

Standing Election

He's holding a standing election in his callards.

Evening Post

Beans on Toast

Go and buy the beans on toast will you son.

Eyes

Mince Pies

She got beatiful minces.

Fable

Railway Timetable

(After someone tells you a tall tale) What’s he been doin’? Reading a railway table. [Might also be substituted with bus timetable]

Face

Boat Race

Nice legs, shame about the boat.

Face

Cod & Plaice

It's too cold outside; no good for my cod.

Face

Chevy Chase

She's got a lovely Chevy Chase.

Face

Jem Mace

Wipe that look off your jem [Jem Mace was a boxer in the late 19th century]

Facts

Brass Tacks

'Ere, you've got your brass wrong!

Fag (cigarette)

Cough and Drag

I’m going out for a quick cough and drag.

Fag (cigarette)

Harry Wragg

Have you got a harry? [Harry Wragg was a famous jockey]

Fag (cigarette)

Melvynn Bragg

Oi, mate. Can I scrounge a melvynn of you [Melvynn was a television host]

Fag (cigarette)

Oily Rag

Give us an oily.

Fag (cigarette)

Toe Rag / Tow Rag

Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags.

Fake

Sexton Blake

He wears a Cartier but it's a sexton [See also 'Sexton Blake-cake']

Fanny

Auntie Annie

She’s just sitting at home on her Auntie Annie.

Fanny

Jack and Danny

She's just sitting at home on her Jack and Danny.

Farmer (see usage)

Arnold Palmer

'e's a right Arnold [It refers to a golfer who spends a lot of time in the long grass around a course]

Farrahs (trousers)

Bow and Arrows

Nice pair of bow and arrows [Use your best Cockney accent here. The reference is to Farrah slacks]

Fart

D'Oyly Carte

Have you done a d’oyly? [D’Oyly Carte is a light opera company]

Fart

Horse and Cart

Have you just horse & carted?

Fart

Orson (i.e. Horse ‘n Cart)

He’s dropped an orson.

Fart

Raspberry Tart

He blew a raspberry.

Favour

Cheesy Quaver

Do us a cheesy.

Feel

Orange Peel

I fancy an orange of her Bristols!

Feet

Dogs Meat

Me dogs are barking [Meaning my feet are tired]

Feet

Plates of Meat

Get your plates of the table.

Fibs (lies)

Scott Gibbs

He’s been telling scotts again [Scott Gibbs is a rugby

10

[email protected]

star] Fight

Read and Write

He'd rather read than walk away.

Fine

Calvin Klein

I'm calvin today.

Fish

Lilian Gish

Good day at the stream. Got a pair of Lilian's.

Fist

Oliver Twist

Next thing I know he's got his Oliver in my face.

Fiver (£5 note)

Lady Godiva

Ere, that bloke still owes me lady!

Fiver (£5 note)

Taxi Driver

'ere - you owe me a taxi.

Flares (wide bottom trousers)

Lionel Blaire

Got on his best lionels for the evening. [Lionel Blaire is a performer]

Flash

Lemon Dash

Don’t act so lemon.

Flash (natty)

Harry Dash

'e was alway a bit of an 'arry.

Flowers

April Showers

I forgot it was my anniversary, so I picked some aprils on the way home.

Flying Squad

Sweeney Todd

Here comes the Sweeney [The Flying Squad are the police]

Fork

Duke of York

Keep your fingers out of your grub, man. Use a duke.

Function

Spaghetti Junction

Garage

Steve Claridge

I've just gotta go down the Steve for some petrol.

Gargle (drunk)

Arthur Scargill

'e's right Authur'd.

Gay (homosexual)

Bale of Hay

Don't bother Britany - he's bale.

Gay (homosexual)

Doctor Dre

E’s a bit of a doctor [Dr. Dre is a rap artist]

Gay (homosexual)

Finlay Quaye

That boozer is Finlay ub [Finlay Quaye is a musician]

Gay (homosexual)

First of May

He's a right first.

Gay (homosexual)

Ted Ray

He's a bit Ted. [Ted Ray was an actor/comedian in the sixties]

Geezer

Fridge & Freezer

He’s a right fridge.

Geezer

Ice Cream Freezer

'e's not a bad old ice cream.

Geezer

Julius Caesar

'ere, look at the 'ampsteads on that Julius.

Geezer

Lemon Squeezer

I saw that lemon we met in the rub-a-dub last night.

Ghost

Pillar and Post

Looks like he’s seen a pillar.

Gin

Mother's Ruin

Another mothers would sit well.

Gin

Needle and Pin

I'll have a small needle and tonic.

Gin

Nose and Chin

I'll have a drop of nose and chin.

Gin

Thick & Thin

I enjoy a bit of thick and thin.

Gin

Vera Lynn

I'll have one more Vera before I hit the frog and toad.

Girl

Cadbury Swirl

Come over here, me old Cadbury.

Girl

Twist and Twirl

She looks like a nice twist.

11

[email protected]

Git (twit)

Strawberry Split

That bloke's a right strawberry.

Gloves

Turtle Dove's

Where's me turtle dove's.

Go

Scapa Flow

Scapa! [Actually pronounced 'Scarper']

Gob (mouth)

Gang and Mob

He's got a big gang.

Good

Robin Hood

That sounds like it's robin.

Gossip

Rex Mossop

What's the latest Rex, love? [Rex is an Aussie sports commentator]

Grand (1000)

Bag of Sand

He owes me a bag.

Gravy

Army and Navy

Can I have some army for my mashed?

Greek

Bubble and Squeak

'E's not a bad bloke for a bubble. [Bubble and squeak is a uniquely British dish of fried mashed potatoes and something green (usually cabbage)]

Guts (stomach)

Newington Butts

Me Newingtons are playing me up.

Gutter

Bread and Butter

Found him laying in the bread and butter. [Usually full slang expression is used]

Gym

Fatboy Slim

I’m going down to the fatboy [Fatboy Slim is a recording artist]

Haddock

Fanny Craddock

Fanny and chips for supper?

Hair

Barnet Fair

She must be going out - she's got her Barnet done.

Hair

Biffo the Bear

Me biffo’s not looking the best today [Biffo the Bear was on the cover of Beano from 1948 to 1974]

Hair

Bonney Fair

She's got beautiful shiny bonney.

Half (a pint)

Cow and Calf

I could use a cow and calf [There's a pub in Grenoside (near Sheffield) called the Cow and Calf]

Hand

St. Martins-Le-Grand

I had it in my St. Martins a minute ago.

Hands

German Bands

Get your germans off my missus.

Hands

Jazz Bands

Get yer jazz bands off me.

Hat

Titfer (Tit for Tat)

Lovely titfer. [This one uses the first two words probably because saying "lovely tit" proved awkward]

Head

Crust of Bread

Use your crust mate.

Head

Loaf of Bread

Don't just stand there - use your loaf.

Head (fellatio)

Blood Red

She likes to give blood.

Heart

Strawberry Tart

Me strawberry belongs to you.

Hell

Gypsy Nell

My knee is giving me gyp today.

Hemorrhoid

Clement Freud

Oooh, me clements!

Hemorrhoids

Emma Freuds

Me Emma's are playing me up. [Emma is a BBC DJ on Radio 1]

Heroin

Vera Lynn

Goodbye Vera Lynn [from Pink Floyd – “Goodbye Vera Lynn I'm leaving you today" meaning I’m giving

12

[email protected]

up heroin] Hill

Jack and Jill

The store is up the jack. [See also Bill]

Hole

Drum Roll

Let's pop 'round to my drum (Referring to someone's house).

Home

Pope in Rome

Let's pop 'round his pope and fetch him.

Host

Pillar and Post

Who’s the pillar and post for tonight?

Hot

Peas in a Pot

Don't touch that - it's bloody peasy.

House

Cat and Mouse

Went 'round to his cat to wake him up.

House

Mickey Mouse

I'm taking my missus to the mickey tonight. [Usually means a theatre rather than a residence]

Howler (mistake)

Robbie Fowler

I made a right Robbie yesterday [Robbie Fowler plays for Liverpool]

Hymen

Bill Wyman

Virgin? Don’t think so mate – not a bill in sight.

Ice

Blind Mice

I'll have a Gold and Blind.

Jacket

Desmond Hackett

He's sporting a new Desmond [Mr. Hackett is a renowned Daily Express sports reporter]

Jacket

Tennis Racquet

I bought a new tennis racquet.

Jail

Bucket and Pail

One drink too many and I get seven days in the bucket.

Jail

Ginger Ale

'e's doing time in the ginger.

Jeans

Harpers and Queens

He's sporting a new pair of harpers [Harpers and Queen is a woman's magazine "Published in London for the World"]

Jeans

Runner Beans

How do you like me new runners.

Jeans

Steve McQueens

Me new steves are a bit tight.

Jew

Five to Two

If you're a fiver then today's your Sabbath.

Jew

Four by Two

He's not from around here - he's a four.

Jewellery

Tom Foolery

That bloke looks a flash, look at all his tom.

Jive

Duck and Dive

She can’t half duck and dive.

Job

Corn on the Cob

'e can't afford it - 'e ain't got a corn.

Job

Dog's Knob

Me new motor is just the dog's knob

Jock (Scot)

Sweaty Sock

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a sweaty on a boat [This term is usually derogatory]

Joke

Rum and Coke

Go on then, tell us another rum and coke.

Joker

Double Yoker

Who's this double yoker.

Judge

Barnaby Rudge

I'm up in front of the Barnaby tomorrow morning.

Jugs (breasts)

Carpets and Rugs

That girls has a lovely set of carpets.

13

[email protected]

Kebab (shish kebab)

Phil Babb

Bloody hell, boys, I'm proper Oliver'd - anyone fancy a Phil?

Keen

Torvill and Dean

She's a bit torvill on my mate Barry.

Kettle

Hansel & Gretel

I put the Hansel on for a nice cup of Rosy.

Key

Brenda Lee

Where’s me brenda’s?

Key

Vivian Lee

Where's me Vivian?

Keys

Bruce Lee’s

Have you seen me brucies?

Keys

John Cleese

‘ave you seen me johns.

Keys

Knobbly Knees

Have you got your knobblies with you?

Kidney

Bo Diddley

Me bo’s are giving me gyp.

Kids

Dustbin Lids

A nice girl but too many dustbin's.

Kids

God Forbids

Couldn't hear a thing 'cause of all the Godfor's.

Kids

Saucepan Lids

I'm forever buy clothes for the saucepan lids [see also 'Yid']

Kids

Teapot Lids

I'm taking my little teapot to country.

Kids

Tin Lids

I can't put me foot down without stepping on one of the tin lids.

Kiss

Heavenly Bliss

C’mon me turtle, give us an ‘eavenly.

Kiss

Hit and Miss

How about a bit of hit and miss.

Knackered (tired)

Cream Crackered

I'm cream crackered, mate.

Knackered (tired)

Kerry Packer

I'm right Kerry'd [Kerry Packer is an Australian media magnate]

Knackers (testicles)

Jacobs Crackers

That toe-rag kicked me in the Jacobs.

Knees

Biscuits and Cheese

I've been on my biscuits all day.

Knickers

Alan Whickers

The 'lastics gone in me alans. [Alan Whicker used to host a TV programme called Whickers World ]

Knob (penis)

Uncle Bob

‘e’s a bit proud of his Uncle Bob.

Kraut (German)

Rainbow Trout

Bloody rainbows beat us at football last night!

Lager

Forsythe Saga

Mines a forsythe.

Lager

Mick Jagger

How about a couple of Mick Jaggers over here?

Lark (fun)

Tufnell Park

Always one for a Tufnell.

Late

Cilla Black

You’re a bit Cilla today, mate [Comes from Cilla Black’s Blind Date TV programme that was popular]

Late

Terry Waite

You’re a bit Terry Waite.

Later

Baked Potato

I'll see ya baked.

Later

Christian Slater

See you Christian Slater.

Laugh

Bubble Bath

You're 'avin a bubble aren't ya?

14

[email protected]

Laugh

Cows Calf

Your having a cows calf, ain't you

Laugh

Giraffe

You're havin' a giraffe, mate.

Laugh

Steffi Graf

You're having a Steffi.

Laugh

Turkish Bath

He's havin' a turkish.

Laugh

Wally's Scarf

He's having a wally.

Legs

Bacon and Eggs

Lovely set of bacons [This can be Ham & Eggs as well].

Legs

Dolly Pegs

'ave a butchers at the dollies on 'er [This comes from the old style wooden clothes pegs that little girls used to draw faces on and make little dresses and hats/hair for, hence the dolly peg]

Legs

Mumbley Pegs

Stand on your own mumbleys.

Legs

Nutmegs

He was nutmegged [This is a common football term for when the ball is kicked between an opponents legs and then the other player runs around to get control of the ball again]

Legs

Pins and Pegs

I was so surprised I nearly fell off me pins.

Legs

Scotch Pegs

Sit down and take a load off your pegs.

Leicester Square

Euan Blair

We're getting off the train at Euan Blair station.

Lesbian

West End Thespian

She's a lovely girl but she is west end, you know.

Liar

Bob Cryer

Shut up you Bob - yer talking out yer aris [Sergeant Bob Cryer is a character in "The Bill"]

Liar

Dunlop Tyre

‘e’s a bit of a Dunlop.

Liar

Holy Friar

‘e’s a bit of a holy friar.

Lies

Pork Pies

Blimey - he gets two pigs (beers) in him and he starts telling porkies.

Life

Nelly Duff

Not on your nelly, mate. [The expression 'not on your nelly', meaning 'not on your life' (meaning that the person would never do something)]

Life (term)

Porridge Knife

'e's doing a stay in the porridge.

Liver

Cheerful Giver

Lovely - cheerful for dinner tonight.

Liver

Swanee River

We're having swanee for dinner again?

Lodger

Artful Dodger

She's taken in an artful to help pay the way.

Look

Butcher's Hook

Here - take a butcher's at this.

Look

Captain Cook

I just went over there for a captain.

Loot (money)

Fibre of your fabric

C'mon, let me feel the fibre of your fabric [fabric=suit=loot]

Lot (Serving or share)

Hopping Pot

That's your hopping mate. [Meaning, that's all you get. [This may have originated with Londoners who

15

[email protected]

traveled to Kent and other districts to gather hops for beer] Love

Turtle Dove

All right me old turtle.

Luck

Donald Duck

How's your Donald?

Luck

Friar Tuck

'E always had a bit of friar tuck.

Mad

Mum and Dad

He's a bit mum and dad.

Marriage

Horse and Carriage

e's off to his 'orse and carriage.

Married

Cash and Carried

Poor bloke got cashed on the weekend.

Matches

Cuts and Scratches

Do you have any cuts?

Mate

China Plate

How are you, my old china?

Mate

Garden Gate

He’s an old garden gate from school.

Meetin' (meeting)

Buster Keaton

We'll see you at the Buster.

Mental

Radio Rental

He's a bit radio.

Mental (crazy)

Chicken Oriental

It was chicken oriental down the nuclear on Friday night.

Merry

Tom and Jerry

E’s a tommy bloke.

Mess

Elliot Ness

My drum's a right Elliot.

Milk

Acker Bilk

Would you like Acker in your coffee? [Acker Bilk was a master of the clarinet and leader of the Paramount Jazz Band. Interestingly, his nickname Acker is a Somerset term meaning friend or mate]

Mind

Chinese Blind

You're out of you little chinese mate.

Miss

Cuddle and Kiss

She's a cute little cuddle.

Missus (Mrs)

Love and Kisses

Where did your love and kisses go?

Missus (Mrs)

Plates and Dishes

How's the plates getting on then?

Money

Bees and Honey

Can't go in there without any bees.

Money

Bread and Honey

Let's drink with him - he's got bread.

Money

Bugs Bunny

I've got some Bugs bunny in me sky rocket and I'm off down the rub-a-dub-dub.

Motor (car)

Haddock and Bloater

I’ve gone and locked me keys in the haddock.

Mouth

North and South

I gave him a punch up the north.

Mug (chump)

Toby Jug

I'm tired of people taking me for a toby.

Neck

Bushel and Peck

He's got a bushel like tree trunk.

Neck

Gregory Peck

Wind you Gregory in.

Nerves

West Ham Reserves

e's got a bad case of the West Ham's.

News

Wooden Pews

Did you catch the wooden pews yesterday.

Nick (prison)

Shovel and Pick

He's spending a bit of time in the shovel.

Nightmare

Lionel Blaire

I'm havin' a right lionel [Lionel Blaire is a performer]

16

[email protected]

Nightmare

Weston-Super-Mare

Went for an interview yesterday - it was a total Weston-Super [Weston Super Mare is the main coastal resort of North Somerset]

Nipple

Raspberry Ripple

Look at the thup'neys on her, raspberries like cigar buts! [Can also mean cripple]

Nippy (cold)

George and Zippy

It’s a bit George [George & Zippy are from an old BBC kids show called Rainbow]

Noise

Box of Toys

Hold your box - they can hear you miles away!

Nose

Fireman's Hose

Look at the size of his fireman's.

Nose

Fray Bentos

Look at the Fray Bentos on that poor sod [Fray Bentos is a maker of a fabulous Steak & Kidney Pie (and other treats)]

Nose

I Suppose

That rotten drunk gave me a clip on me I suppose.

Nose

Irish Rose

She gave me a kiss on my Irish.

Nun

Current Bun

My meanest teachers were currents.

Nutter (crazy)

Roll and Butter

That blokes a bloody roland [This expression uses the first two words rather than just the first]

Off (take off, leave)

Frank Bough

I'm gonna do the Frank [see 'scoff'. Frank Bough was a television personality]

Old Man (Father or Husband)

Pot and Pan

I was talking to me old pot just yesterday.

On My Own

Toblerone

He's over there on his toblerone.

Out of Order

Allan Border

He's bang Allan [Used when someone does something to another person that is not looked upon favourably. Allan Border was the Australian cricket captain in the late 80's/early 90's]

Paddy

Tea Caddy

Did you know Kevin is a tea caddy?

Pager

John Major

Me John Major’s just gone off.

Pakistani

Bacon Sarnie

They've hired a new bloke at the shop - he's a bacon [Sarnie is a slang term for sandwich (This expression may be considered offensive]

Pakistani

Reg Varney

Martin's new bird's a Reg [Reg played Stan Butler on 'On the Buses', one of the 1970's BritComs]

Pants

Adam Ant

Get your adam’s on.

Pants

Surrey & Hants

Blimey, I have no clean surreys.

Paper (newspaper)

Linen Draper

Has the morning linen come yet?

Parcel

Elephant and Castle

Wot you got ‘ere then, a bleedin’ elephant.

Park

Noah's Ark

I'm taking my misses to the Noah.

Party

Moriarty

Mental morry mate.

Party

Russell Harty

I've phoned for a sherbert to take us to the Russell

17

[email protected]

[Russell Harty is a TV host] Peas

John Cleese

Eat yer John Cleese - they're good for you.

Peas

Knobbly Knees

We’re havin’ sexton and knobblies.

Pee

Gypsy Rose Lee

I’m off for a gypsy.

Pest

Fred West

Here comes that Fred West again.

Tonic

Philharmonic

I'll have a Vera and Phil (gin and tonic).

Phone

Al Capone

He’s always on the al capone.

Phone

Dog and Bone

She's always on the dog.

Piano

Joanna

He sparkles on the joanna. [They mispronounce the word you're trying say, so instead of 'piano' they call it a 'piana']

Pictures

Dolly Mixtures

Going out to the Dolly Mixtures tonight.

Piddle (urinate)

Jimmy Riddle

I've had three pints - I could use a jimmy.

Piles

Nuremberg Trials

Me Nuremberg's are really playing me up.

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Chalfont St Giles

Me chalfonts are playing up.

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Farmer Giles

Blimey, I ain't 'alf suffering from me farmers.

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Nobby Stiles

Me nobbies are acting up again [Nobby Stiles was a great footballer from years gone by]

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Rockford Files

Me Jim Rockford's are giving me gip! [Jim Rockford was the central character in the TV show The Rockford Files]

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Sieg Heils

I'll stand if you don't mind - me sieg heils are acting up today.

Piles (hemorrhoids)

Slay 'em in the aisles

Me slay 'ems are playing me up.

Pill (birth control)

Jack and Jill

She's on the Jack.

Pillow

Weeping Willow

'ere. Get yer head off my weeping willow.

Pill

Strawberry Hill

I must remember to take my strawberry tonight.

Pills

Jack 'n Jills

Where's me Jack n Jills.

Pills

Mick Mills

‘e’s always ‘ad a weakness for the Mick Mills [Mick Mills played for Ipswich in the ‘70s]

Pinch (steal)

Half Inch

Someone's half-inched me pint!

Pipe

Cherry Ripe

He does a cherry [Cherry Ripe is an Australian chocolate bar - although this maybe Aussie slang rather than Cockney]

Piss

Arthur Bliss

I'm just popping out for an Arthur [Arthur Bliss was a famous English composer (1891-1975)]

Piss

Gypsy's Kiss

Blimey - no more beer till I've 'ad a gypsy's.

Piss

Hit and Miss

I've got to have a hit before we go out.

18

[email protected]

Piss (Make fun of)

Mickey Bliss

He’s always taking the mickey out of him [Mickey is short for a mythical 'Mickey Bliss,' providing the rhyme for 'piss and has been in widespread use since the late 1940s. The original idea was that of deflating someone, recalling the description of a self-important blusterer as 'all piss and wind.']

Pissed (angry)

Hit List

I'm really hit today.

Pissed (drunk)

Brahms and Liszt

He's well Brahms and Liszt , don't give him any more to drink. [Sometimes the expression "Mozart & Liszt is used]

Pissed (drunk)

Oliver Twist

I 'ad one over the eight last night and got completely Olivered.

Pissed (drunk)

Schindlers List

I'm a bit schindlers after a too many forsythes.

Pissed (drunk)

Scotch Mist

'e was completely scotch mist last night.

Plate

Alexander the Great

Don’t try and scarper before you’ve washed those alexanders.

Play

Grass & Hay

Let's grass and hay down the park.

Pocket

Lucy Locket

Keep it in your Lucy.

Pocket

Sky Rocket

I've got nothing in my skies.

Poof (homosexual)

Iron Hoof

He's a bit of an iron.

Poof (homosexual)

Tin Roof

I think he might be a tin roof.

Porn

Frankie Vaughan

Is there any Frankie on the telly tonight?

Porn

Johnny Vaughn

I enjoy a bit of Johnny [Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big Breakfast]

Powder (cocaine)

Nikki Lauder

He's off doing a bit of Nikki.

Prat (arse)

Paper Hat

He's a bit of a paper.

Prayer

Weavers' Chair

Haven't got a weaver's of getting into her alans. [A weaver's chair has a low profile back allowing free movement of the arms]

Prick

Hampton Wick

He gets on my wick.

Pride

Jekyll and Hyde

You lost your jekyll or something?

Prison

Boom and Mizzen

'e's off to the boom for a bit.

Pub

Nuclear Sub

I'll meet you down the nuclear at 5 o'clock.

Pub

Rub-a-dub-dub

I'm off to the rub-a-dub-dub. [Comes from the children's rhyme Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub...]

Pube (pubic hair)

Rubric's Cube

When your having a shower make sure you wash your rubric's.

Puff (marijuana)

Mickey Duff

Here, mate. Got any Mickey?

19

[email protected]

Punter (gambler or odds Hillman Hunter maker)

‘ere comes another load of Hillmans [The Hillman was a fine auto introduced in 1966]

Purse

Gypsy's Curse

Someone's alf-inched me gypsy.

Quarter

Farmers Daughter

My Nan want me to get her three farmers of rosie (3/4 lb of tea)

Queen (homosexual)

Torvill & Dean

He’s a right old torvill.

Queer (homosexual)

Brighton Pier

That blokes a bit of a Brighton.

Queer (homosexual)

Ginger Beer

He's a bit ginger [See Queer (odd) below]

Queer (homosexual)

King Lear

e's a bit King Lear.

Queer (odd)

Ginger Beer

I don't know about that - sounds a bit ginger.

Quid

Bin Lid

Lend us a bin.

Quid

Teapot Lid

I'm down a teapot already.

Rail

Toby Ale

'e's traveling by toby.

Railway Guard

Christmas Card

Look out for the Christmas.

Rain

Pleasure and Pain

Any more pleasure and we'll be swimming.

Rave (dance)

Comedy Dave

You coming to the comedy? [Comedy Dave is a Radio 1 DJ]

Readies (pound notes)

Nelson Eddy's

'e's got a pile of nelsons!

Rent

Burton on Trent

They've raised my burton again.

Rent

Clark Kent

I'm having a tough time coming up with me Clark.

Rent

Duke of Kent

I can't afford to pay the Duke of Kent this week.

Rich

Scratch & Itch

'e's got scratch.

Right

Isle of Wight

Down the High Road to the lights and make an Isle. [Also seen used as slang for "all right" but not in common usage]

River

Shake and Shiver

He jumped right into the shake.

Road

Frog and Toad

Don't ride your bike on the frog. [See Road = Kermit]

Road

Kermit

'e took off down the kermit. [From Kermit the Frog = frog and toad = road.

Rotten

Dot Cotton

I’m feeling a bit dot [Dot Cotton is a character from Eastenders]

Row (argument)

Barn Owl

Went up to the dole office today. 'Ad a bit of a barney with the geezer behind the desk.

Row (argument)

Bull and Cow

Had a right bull with my misses last night.

Rum

Tom Thumb

A wee bit of Tom and I'm off.

Sack (fired)

Tin Tack

He got the tin tack the other day.

20

[email protected]

Saloon Bar

Balloon Car

I'll be at the balloon.

Sauce

Dead Horse

Pass the dead horse.

Scar

Mars Bar

I fell down the apple and pears trying to answer the dog & bone, hit my head and ended up with a mars bar.

Scoff (food)

Frank Bough

I’m going to get some frank [Frank Bough was a television personality]

Score

Bobby Moore

You know the Bobby [Bobby Moore was a great footballer who died in 1993]

Score

Hampden Roar

You know the hampden [The Hampden Roar is a commonly used term that refers to the noise made when fans cheer on Scotland at Hampden Park]

Score (£20)

Apple Core

I gave me last apple to that old paraffin.

Scotch

Gold Watch

I'll have a gold watch and ten.

Scotch

Pimple and Botch

He enjoys a good pimple.

Scotch (Whisky)

Gold Watch

'E enjoys his gold watch.

Scouser (Liverpudlian)

Mickey Mouser

'E's a mickey mouser [Refers to someone from Liverpool]

Scouts

Brussel Sprouts

He's always been a brussel.

Scran (food)

Jackie Chan

I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner.

Sex

Posh ‘n Becks

Had a bit of posh with the missus last night [Posh refers to Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) of the Spice Girls while Becks refers to David Beckham, the famous footballer she married]

Shabby

Westminster Abbey

He's turned out a bit westminster today.

Shag

Billy Bragg

He's off for a billy [Billy Bragg is a singer/songwriter]

Shank (golf term)

J. R.

You really JR'd that one mate. [Abbreviated reference to J. Arthur Rank. In golf, a shank is a ball that goes in a decidedly unexpected direction]

Shave

Chas and Dave

I'm off for a chas.

Shave

Dig in the Grave

A quick shower and dig and I'll be ready to go.

Shiner (black eye)

Ocean Liner

I punched him right in the mincer and gave him an ocean liner.

Shirt

Dicky Dirt

Put your dicky dirt on before the company gets here.

Shirt

Uncle Bert

I've got to press my uncle.

Shit

Brace and Bit

Just off or a brace.

Shit

Brad Pitt

I right need a Brad Pitt.

Shit

Eartha Kitt

I'm going for an Eartha [See also 'Tit']

21

[email protected]

Shit

Tom Tit

I'm going for a Tom Tit.

Shite

Tom Kite

I’m off for a tom.

Shite

Turkish Delight

They’re playing completely Turkish today.

Shite (shit)

Barry White

I need a Barry White.

Shits (diarrhoea)

Two-Bob Bits

I’ve got a real case of the two-bob bits.

Shitter (rectum)

Council Gritter

When I sat down there was a pin on my chair! Right up the council! [A council gritter is the machine that comes around and puts grit on icy roads]

Shitter (rectum)

Gary Glitter

He kicked him right up the Gary.

Shitter (toilet or rectum)

Rick Whitter

Back in a sec - I'm off to the rick [Rick Whitter is a singer]

Shocker

Barry Crocker

That's a Barry Crocker [Barry Crocker is an Aussie]

Shocker

Costantino Rocca

Played a round of golf yesterday - had a complete Costantino [Costantino Rocca is an Italian golfer]

Shoe

Scooby Doo

Where are me Scooby's?

Shoe

Ghost (Boo)

Get yer ghosts on.

Shoes

One and two's

Where's me one 'n two's?

Shoes

St. Louis Blues

'e's got himself a new pair of St. Louis'

Shoes

Rhythm and Blues

Get your rhythm and blues on.

Shoes

Yabba-Dabba-Doo

Nice pair of yabba’s mate [For them what don’t have a classical education, “Yabba-Dabba-Doo” was the catch phrase of Fred Flintstone]

Shout (round)

Wally Grout

It's your wally, mate (ie. It's your turn to buy a round of drinks). [Wally Grout was an Australian cricketer who died in 1968]

Shower

David Gower

I'd just got out of the David Gower [David Gower is an English cricketer]

Shower

Eiffel Tower

I’m going for an Eiffel Tower.

Sick

Moby Dick

I'm feeling a bit Moby today.

Sick

Spotted Dick

We don’t have a goalie – John’s spotted [Spotted Dick is a dessert make with raisins]

Sick

Tom and Dick

He's feeling a bit Tom. [There is also an expression "Feeling a bit dicky" as in not quite right that comes from this slang. It’s also used as “Bob and Dick”]

Sick

Uncle Dick

I can't come out tonight - I'm feeling a bit Uncle Dick.

Sight

Website

Get out of me website.

Silly

Daffy Down Dilly

'e's a bit daffy. [Daffy Down Dilly is a line of dolls from Madam Alexander]

Silly

Piccadilly

I've always said he was Piccadilly.

22

[email protected]

Simple

Dolly Dimple

She’s a bit Dolly Dimple.

Sister

Skin and Blister

She may be his blister but she's nothing like him.

Six

Tim Mix

He rolled a Tom Mix [This expression is common in casino's when referring to dice games]

Skin (cigarette paper)

Vera Lynn

Got any vera's?

Skint (broke)

Borassic Lint

He's right boric.

Skint (broke)

Larry Flint

I'm completely larry mate [Larry Flint is an American publisher of adult magazines]

Skint (broke)

Polo Mint

I'm polo'd.

Slag (prostitute)

Oily Rag

She's a bit of an oily rag [Oily Rag is also slang for fag (cigarette).

Slag (prostitute)

Toe Rag / Tow Rag

She’s a right toe rag [It should be 'Tow Rag'. When a car towed another in times past, (broken down car) behind it, it was/is common practice to tie a piece of rag halfway along the rope between the two vehicles. This was to indicate the rope's presence to pedestriams, particularly when stopped in traffic. (i.e. to stop people tripping over it when walking between the cars). As this piece of rag was literally dragging or 'always in' the dirt all the time, it was compared with someone who was shifty, untrustworthy, criminal, loafer, a general 'low life'. Such a person was called a tow rag,example "don't trust him, he's a bit of a tow rag"] Thus, a tow rag could refer to a male or female of dubious character.

Slap

Watford Gap

I’m gonna give you a Watford ‘round yer chevy.

Slash (piss)

Pat Cash

I'm absolutely dying for a Pat Cash.

Slash (piss)

Pie and Mash

I’m poppin’ out for a pie and mash.

Sleep

Bo-Peep

What I need is a good bo-peep.

Sleep

Sooty and Sweep

You need a bit of sooty.

Smell

Aunt Nell

He don't half Aunt Nell.

Smoke (cigarette)

Laugh and Joke

I’m going for a laugh.

Sneeze

Bread and Cheese

I hate allergies - one good bread after another.

Snide

Jeckyll and Hyde

‘e’s a bit Jeckyll.

Snout (cigarette)

Salmon and Trout

'Ere mate, give us a salmon, I'm right out. [The term snout comes from prison life when the prisoners, who would take their daily exercise in silence, would signal a tobacco supplier that he needed cigarettes by

23

[email protected]

touching his nose] - See "ins and outs". Snouts (Cigarettes)

Ins and Outs

'ere mate, got any ins and outs? (See Salmon and Trout)

Soap

Cape of Good Hope

Go wash yourself - and use the cape.

Soap

Faith and Hope

Where's the faith and hope, I wanna wash me 'ands.

Socks

Almond Rocks

Wouldn't it be nice if your almonds matched?

Socks

Bombay Docks

Anyone seen me bombays?

Socks

Joe Rocks

Pull yer Joe's up.

Son

Currant Bun

He's awfully proud of his currant.

Song

Ding Dong

Everyone gather round the piano for a ding dong. [Usually the full slang expression is used]

Soup

Loop de Loop

Nothing like a good loop on a cold day.

Spanner (wrench)

Elsie Tanner

Can I borrow your elsie.

Sparrow

Bow and Arrow

Little bow and arrow fell out of the nest. [Usually the full slang expression is used]

Speak

Bubble and Squeak

I won't bubble.

Specs (spectacles)

Gregory Peck

Where’s me gregs.

Specs [Spectacles)

Mikkel Becks

Where did I put me Mikkel's? [Mikkel Beck is a footballer]

Splinter

Alan Minter

Picked up this wood and got a terrible Alan in me finger [Alan Minter is a British boxer]

Spoon

Daniel Boone

Pass me a Daniel.

Spoon

David Boon

Pass me that David Boon [David Boon is an Australian cricketer]

Spot (acne)

Randolph Scott

I've got a great big randolph on my chin.

Spouse

Boiler House

Me boiler's always yammerin' on.

Sprouts

Twist and Shouts

I love bubble and squeak made with Twist and Shouts.

Spunk (semen)

Harry Monk

This glue's as sticky as a load of Harry [Harry Monk was an old music hall entertainer]

Spunk (semen)

Pineapple Chunk

Is that laundry powder on your jeans? Looks like pineapple chunks to me.

Stairs

Apples and Pears

Get yourself up the apples and pears.

Stairs

Daisy Dancers

Get yerself up the daisy dancers [This one's a bit convoluted: Daisy Dancer = Dancing Bears = Stairs. The daisy dancer reference is a twist on the Dancing Bears=Stairs slang]

Stairs

Dancing Bears

Get yerself up the dancing bears.

24

[email protected]

Starved

Pear Halved

"Lunch in a bit?" "Yeah, I'm a bit pear."

Starvin'

Hank Marvin

I'm bloody Hank Marvin. I haven't eaten all day [Hank Marvin was the guitarist for The Shadows from the 1960's to the 1990's]

Starvin'

Lee Marvin

I'm Lee Marvin [If you're really hungry you could say, "I'm Hank, and his brother Lee". Lee Marvin was an American actor. See other entry for starvin' (Hank Marvin)]

State (anguish)

Two and Eight

He's in a two and eight over it. [Usually the full slang expression is used]

Steak and Kidney

Kate and Sydney

A lovely Kate and Sydney pie [Not really rhyming slang - more a matter of getting your mords wixed up]

Stella (beer)

Nelson Mandelas

A couple of nelsons please [Stella refers to Stella Artois]

Stella (beer)

Paul Weller

Give us a Paul Weller

Stella (beer)

Uri Geller

Mines a Uri.

Stella Artois (beer)

Ooh Aah

I’ll have an ooh aah.

Stench

Dame Judy Dench

A right Dame Judy in here.

Stick (walking)

Hackney Wick

I've forgot me hackney wick back at the last pub.

Stink

Pen and Ink

That's a bit of a pen and ink.

Story

Jackanory

Ye late! What’s the jackanory then?

Stout (beer)

Salmon and Trout

Stop by and have a salmon.

Stranger

Queen’s Park Ranger

Who’s that Queen’s Park Ranger standing over there?

Stranger

Texas Ranger

This pub is full of Texas Rangers these days.

Stray

Gamma Ray

That Mary's a bit of a gamma.

Street

Field of Wheat

He out standing in the field, waiting for a bus.

Strides (trousers)

Donkey Rides

He's wearing black donkeys.

Strides (trousers)

Jekyll and Hydes

Just bought a new pair of Jekylls.

Stripper

Jack the Ripper

I love me jack the rippers.

Strong

Ping Pong

I need a ping pong drink.

Sub (pay advance)

Rub a Dub

Guvnor Give us a rub a dub till pay day.

Subaru

Scooby-Doo

Let's have a go in ya scooby-doo.

Suit

Bag of Fruit

He turned up dressed in a bag.

Suit

Bowl of Fruit

Are you wearing your bowl of fruit tonight?

Suit

Tin Flute

I’ll be wearing me tin flute.

Suit

Whistle and Flute

He bought himself a new whistle for the wedding.

Sun

Current Bun

Old current bun's out today.

Supper

Tommy Tucker

You can sing for your Tommy.

25

[email protected]

Sweetheart

Treacle Tart

She's a right treacle.

Table

Cain and Abel

Sit yourself at the cain and I'll bring you your Tommy (Tommy Tucker - supper).

Tablet (pill)

Gary Ablett

He was off his nuts on the old Gary Abletts wasn't he [Gary Ablett was a footballer in the 80's]

Tail

Alderman's Nail

He's always wagging his alderman's.

Talk

Rabbit and Pork

He's always rabbitting on about something.

Talker

Murray Walker

She’s a real murray – just can’t get her to shut up!

Tan

Peter Pan

I’m off to the pool to top up me peter pan.

Tanner (sixpence)

Sprarsy Anna

Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags (cigarettes)

Tart

Kick Start

Is this a lads night or are we taking the kicks.

Taxi

Joe Baxi

Mind if I share your Joe Baxi? [Joe Baxi was a heavyweight boxer]

Tea

Half Past Three

Where’s me bleeding cuppa arf past?

Tea

Rosy Lee

I've just put the rosy on.

Tea

You and Me

Fancy a cup of you and me?

Tears

Britney Spears

She's off doing a Britney.

Teeth

Edward Heath

He got smacked in the Edwards [Edward Heath was PM in the early 1970’s]

Teeth

Hampstead Heath

His hampsteads (hamps) are a crime.

Telly (TV)

Custard and Jelly

As usual, nothing on the custard tonight.

Telly (TV)

Liza Minelli

What’s on the Liza?

Ten

Cock and Hen

I didn't get much change back from a cock.

Tenner (£10)

Paul McKenna

I’m don to me last Paul McKenna [Paul McKenna is a famous hypnotist]

Tenner (10 pound note)

Ayrton Senna

'ere, lend us an ayrton me old china [Ayrton Senna was a Formula One]

Tenner (10 pound note)

Louise Wener

'ere, lend us a louise. [Louise Wener is a singer with the band Sleeper]

Thief

Tea Leaf

He's always been a bit of a tea leaf. [Usually the full slang expression is used]

Think

Cocoa Drink

I should cocoa [Said in a somewhat facetious manner, this phrase actually means "I should think not"]

Thirst

Geoff Hurst

I've got a Geoff on tonight [Sir Geoff Hurst was the only footballer to score three goals in a World Cup final]

Throat

Billy Goat

I've got a sore billy goat.

26

[email protected]

Throat

John O’Groat

‘e cleared his groat whilst wiping his mincers with ‘is germans.

Throat

Nanny Goat

Get that down your nanny.

Throat

Weasel & Stoat

'is weasel's playing him up.

Thunder

Crash & Blunder

What a storm! Did you hear the crash and blunder.

Ticket

Bat and Wicket

I've got a bat for tonight's train.

Ticket

Wilson Picket

I want to go to New York, but I can’t afford the wilsons.

Tie

Peckham Rye

I'm putting on me best whistle and me new peckham.

Till (Cash register)

Jack & Jill

'E got nicked with 'is 'ands in the old jack and jill.

Time

Bird Lime

What's the bird? [Also commonly used to refer to doing time, as in prison]

Time

Harry Lime

What's the Harry Lime? [Harry Lime is a character in 'The Third Man']

Time

Lemon & Lime

Oi mate - what's the lemon & lime.

Tit (breast)

Brad Pitt

Nice pair of brads.

Tits (breasts)

Ballroom Blitz

She’s got marvellous ballrooms [Ballroom Blitz is a song by a group named Sweet]

Tits (breasts)

Brace and Bits

Blimey - what a brace!

Tits (breasts)

Eartha Kitts

Nice Eartha's.

Tits (breasts)

Fainting Fits

Wouldn’t mind getting me germans on her faintings.

Tits (breasts)

Thr'penny Bit

Look at the Thr'penny's on her.

Titties (breasts)

Bristol Cities

She's got a lovely pair of Bristols. [The saying goes back hundreds of years from when sailors sailed to the "New World", between Bristol, England (the second largest port outside of London at the time) and the USA, traveling on to the tobacco plantations at Bristol, Virginia] It was known as, "Going between the Bristol's" and became a sexual reference for what sailors would do to their women folk on returning to dry land!

Titty (breast)

Walter Mitty

She's got a lovely set of walters.

Toast

Holy Ghost

How about another round of 'oly.

Toe

Bromley by Bow

You might want to fight, but I'm going to have it on me bromleys.

Toker

Al Roker

That guy is an Al.

Tonic

Supersonic

How about a nice Vera and super (Gin & Tonic)

27

[email protected]

Toss

Kate Moss

I couldn't give a Kate Moss.

Towel

Baden Powell

'ere, wrap a baden powell around you. Nobody wants to see that!

Train

Michael Caine

I missed me Michael.

Trainers (running shoes) Claire Rayners

I've got me new Claire Rayners on [Claire Rayner is an author]

Trainers (running shoes) Gloria Gaynors

That's a nice pair of Gloria's.

Tramp (hobo)

Paraffin Lamp

I gave me last apple to that old paraffin.

Tramp (hobo)

Thirteen Amp

Look at that bunch of thirteen amps over there. [Thirteen amps is the standard electrical receptacle in Britain]

Trouble

Barney Rubble (Flintstones) Stay away from him. He's right Barney.

Trousers

Lards

‘e was caught with ‘is lards down [Lards is from Callards & Bowsers, makers of fine toffee’s]

Trousers

Round the Houses

'e's got hisself a new set of round the houses ["Council Houses" also used as in "'is councils haven't seen an pressing this year"]

Turd (shit)

Douglas Hurd

I need to dump a Douglas [Douglas Hurd is a politician]

Turd (shit)

Richard the Third

He's a bit of a Richard. [This is also used as in "I'm just going for a Richard". "Edward the Third" is also used]

Umbrella

Auntie Ella

Wonderful - it's starting to rain and me without my Auntie Ella.

Voice

Hobson's Choice

What's the matter with 'is 'obsons.

Vomit

Wallace and Gromit

One more pint and I’ll Wallace, mate.

Wages

Greengages

I've blown the greengages down at the dogs.

Walk

Ball of Chalk

After a heavy meal I like quick ball round the square.

Wank (masturbate)

Armitage Shank

He's havin' an armitage [Armitage Shank are makers of fine porcelain bathroom fixtures]

Wank (masturbate)

Jodrell Bank

Just off for a Jodrell [Jodrell Bank was the site of a University of Manchester botanical station, about 20 miles south of Manchester, back in the 1940's. Today, Jodrell Bank is a leading radio astronomy facility]

Wank (masturbate)

Barclays Bank

He's having a barclays.

Wank (masturbate)

J. Arthur Rank

'e's off having a J. Arthur.

Wank (masturbate)

Lamb Shank

'e's having a lamb.

Wank (masturbate)

Midland Bank

I'm going for a midland.

Wank (masturbate)

Peddle and Crank

I'm off for a peddle!

28

[email protected]

Wank (masturbate)

Sherman Tank

e's a right Sherman.

Wank (masturbate)

Tommy Tank

She's probably at home doing a tommy. [From "Thomas the Tank Engine", a child's program]

Wanker

Cab Ranker

'e's a bit of a cab ranker.

Wanker

Kuwaiti Tanker

He’s a bit of a Kuwaiti tanker.

Wanker

Merchant Banker

He's a right merchant.

Wanker

Ravi Shankar

That referee is a right Ravi.

Wanker

Sefton Branker

He’s a right Sefton Branker [Sefton Branker was a Major, and later Air Vice Marshall, who was posted to India in the early 20th century]

Wanker

Swiss Banker

He’s a bit of a swiss banker.

Wanks

Gordon Banks

They’re a bunch of gordons.

Watch (fob watch)

Kettle and Hob

That's a lovely kettle.

Water

Ten Furlongs (Mile and a quarter)

I'll have a gold watch and ten.

Web Site

Wind and Kite

Check out me wind and kite.

Weight

Pieces of Eight

She'd better watch her pieces of eight.

Whisky

Gay and Frisky

I'll have a gay and I'm off. [Be careful where you use this]

White Wine

Plink Plonk

Open a bottle of plonk [The rhyme here is a bit convoluted – Plink Plonk rhymes with Vin Blanc which is a white wine]

Whore

Four by Four

She’s a bit of a four by four.

Whore

Roger Moore

I was trying to get my trousers back on, and the dirty roger is running up the street with my wallet.

Whore

Thomas Moore

She a right Thomas.

Wife

Duchess of Fife

Now my old dutch, where are we off to tonight?

Wife

Trouble and Strife

I'm taking my trouble dancing tonight.

Wig

Irish Jig

I think that blokes wearing an Irish.

Wig

Syrup of Figs

What a syrup.

Window

Burnt Cinder

Close the bloody burnt.

Windshield Wiper

Billie Piper

You’d better put your billies on [Billie Piper is a pop singer]

Windy

Mork and Mindy

Cor, it's bloody mork today [Can also refer to someone who is a bit windy - "Don't feed him brussel sprouts again - he gets all Mork & Mindy"]

Wine

Porcupine

Where’s the porc waiter.

Word

Dicky Bird

He left without so much as a dicky.

29

[email protected]

Wrong

Falun Gong

It seems to have all gone a bit falun gong.

Wrong

Pete Tong

It's all gone a bit Pete [Pete Tong is an English DJ]

Yank

Septic Tank

He's not very bright... septic, you know. [This can also be shorted to Sepo]

Yank

Wooden Plank

Then this wooden bloke walked in.

Yawn

Johnny Vaughn

Can’t hold back a good Johnny.

Years

Donkey's Ears

Ain't seen you in donkeys mate.

Yid

Front Wheel Skid

Old Mikey's a front wheel [Note that this expression is considered offensive]

This book was collected and printed through the internet, I just introduced it! For more information send me an email at: [email protected] Copyright © 2009 by Mr. Doody. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission from Mr. Doody.

30

[email protected]