Bridal Shower Exhortation

Titus 2 Bridal Shower Exhortation By L.D.

Based on the book “Created to be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl (These are my notes so they are not in full form!) :-)

Welcome...thank you for being here today to honor J as a Bride-to-Be... J, grafted into our home 7 years ago and my honor to disciple and pour into her... what a precious treasure to call her daughter! Put on VEIL: ”Each of us are BRIDES: Bride Married (forgotten feeling like Cinderella), Bride-to-be (young women or single...time of waiting), or maybe...you are the Bride of Christ LONGING for the return of your groom! Every Bride needs PRACTICAL WISDOM! A...manual for WHAT TO DO! I am sure many of you looking back only WISH you'd had some specific instruction before your wed or a reference manual to look up answers to your mystery man in (because of course YOU were never the one in the WRONG!) “ Hold-up BIBLE: ”I have found the perfect one and I get to share from it with you today! “ ”God's Word is living and active, sharper than any doubled edged sword, it is able to divide the body...as well as the heart and soul! All scripture is GOD BREATHED and PROFITABLE for training and correction and building up so that the woman of God may be equipped for EVERY GOOD WORK...and that means the marriage you are in...or the marriage to come!” ”I was DEEPLY convicted over the last 3 weeks as I studied and prayed...many tears and so much so I had to go to my husband and ask forgiveness...there is hope for us all! When we compare ourselves to others (which is sin) it is easy to think you look GOOD...but when we open the Word, and compare our hearts, actions and lives to it our good works are as filthy rags...it shines LIGHT onto those hidden pockets of sin. “ ”God has 8 practical game rules for every BRIDE and they are summed up in this very specific verse: Titus 2:3-5: ’The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not being false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, TO BE DISCREET, CHASTE, KEEPERS AT HOME, GOOD, OBEDIENT to their OWN husbands...that the Word of God be not blasphemed." Are young wives in jeopardy of BLASPHEMING the Word of God? The Word says that they are...let's hit all 8.

1.) To be Sober: to do your duty, to be moderate, to be self-controlled, to be thoughtful, to make wise decisions and judgments. Give her Clock: J...REDEEM THE TIME! Though marriage is JOYOUS, it is a grave responsibility. A sober bride makes sure her husband home RUNS SMOOTHLY A sober bride FINDS HER LIFE IN HER HUSBANDS LIFE! (ouch...not a popular idea these days...we are living in a culture that is at WAR with God...do our lives look different?) Men appreciate GOOD MEALS, an atmosphere of peace, a refuge from the stress of life. Give her Calendar: J you need to plan ahead! Be home before M and have dinner planned, a rushed stressed, hurried, frazzled, drained and SPENT bride is NOT what your husband hopes to come home to. J, be a STUDIER of your man. Learn his likes and dislikes and BE DETERMINED TO EARN HIS DELIGHT. A little planning goes a LONG way! 2.) Titus 2: 3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, and to LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS! J...you are to see your marriage as a CAREER of pleasing your husband. (Some of you just said OUCH...I know I did and with tears of conviction!) TAKE OUT CONTAINER: Sometimes we are so drained from the needs of the children, our husbands get leftovers. Worse yet, some of you may prefer to serve your children OVER your man...God's Word says MAY IT NEVER BE! OPEN CONTAINER (panties inside): If you are too tired to be available to LOVE YOUR MAN nightly, then you need to start trimming your calendar and simplifying your life. Your husband needs intimacy, admiration and YOUR approval. DAILY! A smile, a wink, a touch as you pass are all ways to convey love. 3.) Titus 2:3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN! Give her Smiley Face on cardboard (plate sized): A survey was taken of 75 school age CHRISTIAN children and 2 questions were asked: 1.) Is your home happy?

2.) What would you change to make it happier? The answers were astounding: Only 3 out of 75 children said YES, they had a happy home. And overwhelmingly from preschool to collage age the answers were the same: ”I wish my parents didn't fight so much, I wish my mom and dad loved each other more.” The most important thing WE can do for our children...is to love their daddy, to forgive their daddy, to honor their daddy, to obey their daddy. Your children need to think their daddy is GREAT, even if he isn't who YOU think he should be! 4.) Titus 2:3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, TO BE DISCREET! Discreet: Good taste, good judgment, good understanding, selecting the BEST means to accomplish a purpose, courteous, consideration of others first, guarding your TONGUE and COMMENTS AND WORDS! Give her a large GOLD RING: Prov 11:22 "Like a gold ring is a pigs snout is a woman who lacks discretion." Think of that contrast...something beautiful with something gross and unclean and smelly. That's how God sees a woman who doesn't have a filter on her mouth. Put on CROWN: Prov. 12:4 "A virtuous woman is a CROWN to her husband, but she that makes him ashamed is ROTTENNESS IN HIS BONES!" What a contrast! A discreet wife doesn't talk bad about her husband to her girlfriends. A discreet wife doesn't complain about her husband at women's bible study in the form of a "prayer request" Would you be writing that email or sharing that "funny story" if your husband could hear you? Being discreet is knowing WHEN a story is "funny" or would be "offensive." Being discreet is knowing when a comment is tacky or insulting. Being discreet means guarding your husband's private thoughts and things he shares with you. SIGN with new last name on it: J...you have been an ABASSADOR of our home...now you will be an AMBASSADOR of your husband's home. You have represented our name well, and now you will take the name of your HUSBAND and I know you will also represent his name well.

What a privilege you have to be a stay-at-home WIFE before welcoming children. Everything you do will reflect on your man. Proverbs 31: 11-12 "The heart of J's husband safely trusts in her, he will have no need of spoil. She will do him GOOD and not EVIL...ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE" (her PMS days, her sleep exhaustion days, her heart sick days, her days of disappointment and hurt, the days the kids are sick, the days she feels neglected...ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE...she will do him good!) 5.) Titus 2:3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, TO BE DISCREET, CHASTE! HEART: Chaste: pure in HEART and thought, word and action...to be MODEST and honorable in all things. Married women: Is your LOOK for your man? Your THOUGHTS for your man? Your HEART for your man? Your EYES for your man? Single Ladies: Is ALL of your body saved FOR YOUR MAN? The one to come? My husband has asked a high standard of M and J...to save their kiss for their wedding day. But M will always know, J has saved all of her purity for HIM ALONE, and J will know she is marrying a man who has demonstrated great self control and respect. Seeds of DOUBT are easy to sow and the enemy WORKS to plant them in Christian marriages so he can rip them off of God's blessing and DESTROY what God says is sacred. Our clothes, hair and jewelry make a constant profession of WHO WE ARE. God has standards ladies! It is impossible for a woman to understand a man's visual drive. Don't offer them a reason to sin in the way you dress. I used to be the chief of sinners in this area...sensual, too short, too tight, itsy bitsy...but as I have come to want to be like Christ, to be holy and set apart, to not stumble men, for my husband to know my body is for his eyes alone...I changed my dress. I Corinthians 6:19 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you and whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body."

6.) Titus 2:3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, TO BE DISCREET, CHASTE, KEEPERS AT HOME! Keeper at home: Being on guard, watching, a caretaker of domestic life the home Give her a box of GINGERBREAD HOUSE: Build your home sweetly! Proverbs 14:1 "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands." It is NOT a suggestion, it IS God's will for wives. Often, there will be needs that SEEM greater than faithfully, daily tending the needs of your husband and children. Do you have a heart of surrender to obey God in this area? Cell Phone: Modern conveniences have made ways for us to "leave home" without really leaving: Texting, emailing, facebook, computer time, reading, errands, sports etc...pick yours. :-) I Timothy 5:14 says young women should "Marry, have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." What was their sin? (and often ours today?) The were: Idle not INDUSTRIOUS because they were visiting around (we have ways of visiting around without leaving our homes!) God knows our tendency is to loaf around seeking entertainment. Many are AT HOME, but not a KEEPER OF IT. Being a KEEPER OF THE HOME is more than staying AT HOME, It is having a HEART fixed ON HOME. 7.) Titus 2:3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, TO BE DISCREET, CHASTE, KEEPERS AT HOME, GOOD! Sewing Kit: What you sow is what you will reap. Sow GOODNESS into your man and those around you. Goodness is love in action. It is love with its hand to the plow and a burden of love on its back. A good wife is not LAZY; she does not waste time and is a learner of new things. Goodness is a FRUIT of the Spirit; we cannot have it APART from Christ in US! Our goodness is FIRST to be directed towards our FAMILIES. Our husbands and then our children.

Proverbs 19:14 "A prudent (good) wife is from the Lord." I know M is going to have that in you J! I know it's easy to hope for help when your husband gets home and you've had a busy day...but most of that is due to our mismanagement of time and feeling exhausted from over scheduling "good things" into the days of our children as we play taxi. YOUR HUSBAND WAS NOT CREATED TO BE YOUR SERVANT! You were created to be HIS HELPER...SO GET TO IT AND SEW GOOD INTO YOUR MAN ALL HIS DAYS! 8.) Titus 2: 3-5 "The aged woman (that's me) are to behave with holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things that they may teach the younger women to: BE SOBER, LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, TO BE DISCREET, CHASTE, KEEPERS AT HOME, GOOD, OBEDIENT to their OWN husbands! YEILD SIGN: Obedient: yielding (I think most of us could stop right there and confess a resistant spirit...I know I can!), willing and eager to accomplish HIS desires, abstaining from that which is forbidden. When we make our marriage a career of CHANGING our man...he becomes more stubborn and we become bitter. Even if a wife gets compliance from her husband in an area she is pushing for, she loses his heart and he loses his self respect. WHITE FLAG: Marriage is about SURRENDER...it is about laying down our rights and looking to the needs of OUR MAN...and THEN to the needs of our children. (Ouch again) J, you do not lose any dignity by being in subjection to M...by placing yourself under him. Your husband's authority is delegated BY GOD, when I submit I am recognizing God's authority in my life and submitting to him. Being a WIFE is a GOD APPOINTED office that leaves you 2nd in command of your family. You can win the heart of your husband by responding to him with HONOR AND AFFECTION (most marriages lack). PEELER: God gives us a beautiful example of how to make an APPEAL through Queen Esther. She had an urgent, passionate, life-threatening crisis! Yet she did several things that we should take note of and learn to apply: 1.) She prayed to the Lord and took TIME to consider and wait 2.) She approach respectfully, dressed lovely 3.) She fed him 4.) She waited for the right timing before she petitioned him with her request. By treating your husband like a KING when you make an APPEAL, you become a QUEEN who will WIN his heart

One of our examples that scripture calls us to be like is SARAH...as I studied her I realized she is NOT complimented for being a GREAT MOTHER. She is complimented for 2 things: 1.) she believed God 2.) She called her husband Lord She was the kind of WIFE that God needed to take an ordinary man Abraham, and make a great nation from. God calls us to HOLINESS...not HAPPINESS LADIES...what we do should be self sacrificing. Maybe you are thinking "I do most of those"...or..."you don't understand how hard my life is" or "you don't have to live with my husband"...maybe you are feeling convicted as I have been for WEEKS as I've been reading and praying and studying. Regardless of our circumstances, God's requirements of us don't change. 3 things that cripple your marriage: 1.) a wife who is spiritually critical 2.) a wife who is not content 3.) a wife not fulfilling the 8 things we just covered. We need more of HIM and less of US to be any of those 8 things. We have to come with EMPTY HANDS, waiting to be filled by the Master and THEN put our hand to the work that constantly surrounds us...in our homes and in our own hearts. If something jumped out at you today, that pierced your heart and brought conviction or inspiration...then don't leave here unchanged...let today be more than a bridal shower...let today change our lives in a seemly small way that will change our families in a BIG way and bring Glory to our GOD!