Benefits Series1 Episode 1 Pilot

EXT. OLD HOUSE- LATE MORNING

STACEY (20) and JERRY (16) KINGER sit in the movers van outside their old house. The two orphaned siblings watch through the side mirrors as the mover men put their possessions into the back of the big blue van.

STACEY (V.O) Life and death. They are two serious words. Me and my brother hate serious. But lately that’s all life’s been. You see are Mum and Dad died in a fatal boating incident and now we’re off to my Mum’s friends house in Brighton. Fucking Brighton.

The van moves down the empty street road.

INT. NEW HOUSE, LIVING ROOM- SAME MORNING

PEPPER (18) sits on the sofa smoking a cigarette and watching Napoleon Dynamite. NORMA (34) walks in with the polish and throws it onto the sofa next to PEPPER.

PEPPER (Lazily) What’s this?

NORMA 1

Polish.

PEPPER Can’t you see I’m doing something?

NORMA Watching Napoleon Dynamite a-fucking-gain?

PEPPER Yes I like it.

NORMA The kids will be here soon so get up and help.

PEPPER They live 3 hours away and they only rang to say they’re on their way 20 minutes ago. So I dunno what you’re worrying about.

NORMA At least go wake you’re drugged up fuck-head of a boyfriend will you?

PEPPER Let me just watch this last bit.

NORMA Pepper there’s an hour and 10 minutes left of it.

PEPPER Just this last bit. 2

NORMA squirts PEPPER with the polish and PEPPER shoots up. PEPPER Lovely that.

PEPPER walks out of the living room leaving the DVD playing. NORMA takes the DVD out of the player and throws it out of the open window, then begins to polish the TV screen.

INT. HOUSE, KITCHEN- SAME MORNING

JOSHUA (22) lies on the kitchen floor asleep whilst twins KYLE and SADIE (16) sit at the table. KYLE eats Coco pops. And SADIE reads Maximum Ride. PEPPER comes in.

PEPPER Norma’s going absolutely nuts.

SADIE (Looking up from her book) Pepper? Do you ever wish you could sprout wings and fly? Just whoosh. Fly away?

PEPPER Kyle go pour a bucket of water over your Sister’s head will you?

KYLE That never helps. 3

KYLE tips his Coco pops onto JOSHUA’S face.

KYLE He’s out for the count Pep.

PEPPER Jesus.

PEPPER kicks JOSHUA’S unconscious body.

PEPPER Wake up or Norma will castrate you!

SADIE What are we gonna do with his ashes?

KYLE Snort them.

They both giggle.

PEPPER You’re on about something completely different. Where’s David?

KYLE Garden with Eskimo.

PEPPER 4

Is he romantically involved with that Dog or something?

SADIE Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’s ever been romantically involved with.

PEPPER Wake Josh up will you?

BOTH SADIE & KYLE Yes.

EXT. GARDEN- SAME MORNING

DAVID (26) is kneeling in front of ESKIMO the Dog which is sat on a tree stump. PEPPER walks out to him.

PEPPER What the fuck are you doing?

DAVID Worshipping my lord. What does it look like?

PEPPER Why?

DAVID Well I got to thinking. If God really is real then it’s unlikely he’d be watching us from a cloud right? But then I realised that God backwards is Dog. 5

PEPPER And you think what exactly?

DAVID I think. Well I realise. Eskimo is one of God’s many watchers.

PEPPER So all Dogs are here to make sure we’re. . . good?

DAVID Exactly.

PEPPER Makes sense.

PEPPER kneels down next to DAVID and they both begin to pray. NORMA runs out into the conservatory and looks at them.

NORMA (To herself) Fuck. It’s too late to cancel.

INT. MOVER’S VAN- SAME MORNING STACEY and JERRY sit looking uncomfortably out of the window. The DRIVER puts his hand on STACEY’S leg.

6

JERRY (Still looking out the window) My Sisters a Lesbian.

The DRIVER licks his lips.

DRIVER (Welch accent) That’s alright with me.

STACEY Christ.

They come up near a cafe.

STACEY Can we stop? I’m fucking starved.

DRIVER Well if you want some sausage shouldn’t we stop somewhere. . . a little less public?

JERRY Stop the van please.

The van stops outside the cafe. STACEY and JERRY get out.

EXT. CAFE- EARLY AFTERNOON 7

The DRIVER gets out.

DRIVER (To STACEY) I’m in the toilet if you need anything baby.

STACEY half grins and follows her Brother to the cafe.

INT. CAFE- SAME AFTERNOON

STACEY and JERRY sit down looking at menus.

JERRY It stinks in here.

STACEY Not as bad as in that shitting van.

JERRY I know I nearly had a panic attack.

STACEY I saw that’s why we came in here.

JERRY Plus he was harassing you. 8

STACEY Do you want some air?

JERRY Yeah. Order for me yeah?

STACEY Okie doke.

JERRY walks out.

EXT. CAFE- SAME AFTERNOON

JERRY stands against the wall. He tilts his head back and sighs.

JERRY (To himself) Bollocking hell.

JERRY begins to pant loudly. He runs to the van. Sticks his hand into the open window. Pulls up the lock and grabs his shoulder bag. Inside the shoulder bag are tablets brown bags and an inhaler. JERRY takes the inhaler and puffs it 3 times. He throws up onto the floor. JERRY spits and walks back to the cafe with his shoulder bag onto his shoulder. 9

INT. CAFE- SAME AFTERNOON

JERRY takes out an air freshener can and sprays to around the cafe. He sits back down opposite STACEY.

STACEY I ordered us both 2 ham, eggs and chips.

JERRY Drink?

STACEY Fanta.

JERRY Cheers.

INT. HOUSE, KITCHEN- SAME AFTERNOON

SADIE sits at the table still reading. KYLE washes the pots. And JOSHUA is still sleeping.

SADIE closes the book and places it onto the table.

SADIE Done. That was a bit of alright actually. 10

KYLE Is there a sequel?

SADIE Yeah. I’ll get it from the library later.

KYLE Cool. I’ll read it after you.

SADIE You aint read the first one.

KYLE You can tell me what happens.

SADIE Like shit. Can I ask you a question though?

KYLE Yep.

SADIE Why do you always wash the pots?

KYLE You know when you come out of the shower and your body feels fresh and new?

SADIE 11

Yeah.

KYLE That’s how my hands feel after I’ve washed up.

SADIE Oh wow. Can I finish them?

KYLE Sure.

KYLE whips his hands on a tea towel. JOSHUA pops up with his arms stretched in front of him like a zombie. SADIE screams and KYLE jumps up. In the back garden the song Ballroom blitz by The Misfits blares from DAVID’S stereo. SADIE, KYLE AND JOSHUA look out of the window to see PEPPER and DAVID dancing around the tree stump and ESKIMO sits on it watching them.

JOSHUA What the fuck!

PEPPER waves whilst dancing.

PEPPER It’s only a song pudding.

SADIE and KYLE begin to sing along whilst JOSHUA stands with his hands covering his ears. 12

SADIE & KYLE “Oh yeah, it was electric, so franticly hectic And the band started leaving, 'cause they all stopped breathing”.

NORMA walks outside and turns off the music. She picks up ESKIMO and walks away.

DAVID You’re going to Hell for that.

INT. CAFE- SAME AFTERNOON

STACEY and JERRY sit still eating their food.

JERRY Have you ever met her? Norma I mean.

STACEY Erm, one time. But you know we’ve been talking on the phone recently.

JERRY She nice?

STACEY She lives with 5 other people you know.

JERRY Yeah you said. So is she nice? Are they nice? 13

STACEY She seems it. The rest are a mystery. JERRY Christ. I hope they don’t smell.

The DRIVER comes into the cafe and stands at the table.

DRIVER Are you about ready?

JERRY (Clears his throat) I am.

JERRY stands up and walks out. STACEY walks and the DRIVER slaps her arse.

STACEY One more fucking time.

INT. VAN- SAME AFTERNOON

JERRY opens the glove compartment and finds a bag of weed and a toblarone.

DRIVER Do any of you smoke weed?

STACEY 14

Bad experience. DRIVER I’ve had plenty of them. What about you?

JERRY Weed smells.

DRIVER True. But you get used to it.

JERRY Any kind of new smell. . . makes me wanna die.

DRIVER Isn’t every smell new at some point?

JERRY I don’t know how it works just some smells.

STACEY He’s got OCD.

DRIVER So you want to clean all the time?

JERRY Its different for every OCD sufferer.

DRIVER 15

Right. I don’t think you’re a freak or nothing.

JERRY I couldn’t give a flying fuck if you did.

INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM- LATE AFTERNOON

Everyone is sitting in the freshly clean living room watching The Catherine Tate Show.

DAVID For a ginger she’s pretty. Ent she.

NORMA What does it matter what colour her hair is?

PEPPER It’s

not the hair that makes ginger people weird looking. It’s the pale skin and all them freckles.

JOSHUA It’s the same with brunettes and moles.

SADIE Or blondes and big boobs.

KYLE You’re boobs aint that big, so leave my tape measure alone.

16

NORMA Did you finish that book Sadie?

SADIE Yeah. It was good.

NORMA I have a few you’d like.

SADIE Yeah?

NORMA Yeah. You’ve seen interview with a vampire haven’t you?

SADIE Yeah.

NORMA Well the films based on a book by Ann Rice.

JOSHUA Didn’t I read a few of them?

NORMA Yeah but you gave up on them remember?

JOSHUA Oh yeah. Vampires. Witches and incest. 17

SADIE Um I might give them a look.

PEPPER I’m hungry.

KYLE Me too.

DAVID Chippy?

SADIE I’ll go with you.

EXT. SHOPS- SAME AFTERNOON

SADIE and DAVID walk down along the strip of shops which include the paper shop. The post office. The chippy. The Chinese and the ATM machines. DAVID goes into the chippy SADIE goes into the paper shop. The Indian shop owner RADNASH eyes her up.

SADIE I’m not in here for long Radnash so get a good look.

RADNASH 18

(Strong Indian accent) I have a wife and children.

SADIE Do they know you like mentally shagging young girls?

RADNASH I wasn’t. I was making sure you don’t steal anything. Do your Parents know that you’re a thief or that you’re always doped up?

SADIE My Parents don’t know me.

RADNASH Fuck off out of my shop.

SADIE You aint the best of businessmen are you.

RADNASH Go.

SADIE You’re a racist.

RADNASH Whatever you say.

19

SADIE That aint a good thing to admit.

RADNASH If I was a racist I wouldn’t be in this country.

SADIE In that case I wish you was.

DAVID bursts through the door.

DAVID Battered sausage.

RADNASH I beg your pardons?

SADIE Chill your beans Raddy.

SADIE takes a tin of peach slices and walks out of the shop with DAVID.

EXT. STREET- SAME AFTERNOON

SADIE and DAVID walk down the street.

SADIE I’m worried Dave. 20

DAVID About what?

SADIE Them two kids they don’t know what kind of dysfunctional family we are.

DAVID Maybe they do. Maybe they just want to be part of a family.

SADIE Who would willingly walk into our lives?

DAVID Tell me what’s wrong with our lives. SADIE Nothing. Our life rocks. But some people don’t see it that way. Do they?

DAVID Our living condition is strange but we like it. So if they don’t. I guess they’ll have to leave. Eskimo will make sure everything stays cool.

SADIE laughs.

SADIE Eskimo the God Dog.

DAVID 21

We could make a TV series out of that.

SADIE I’d watch it.

Tyre tracks squeak down the road and a blue mover’s van hits the curb. SADIE and DAVID run up to it. STACEY and JERRY jump out of it.

DRIVER I just wanted to touch them.

JERRY Fuck off you cheese end. My Sister don’t want you going anywhere near her goodies.

DRIVER She does.

STACEY grabs the DRIVER.

STACEY Oh yes.

STACEY throws him to the floor.

STACEY Walk home twat face. 22

DAVID kicks the DRIVER.

DAVID Who are you two.

STACEY I’m Stacey and this is Jerry.

SADIE Oh wow. Your coming to live with us?

JERRY You live with Norma?

SADIE Yeah. Is that your shit in the back?

STACEY Sure is.

SADIE stands on the DRIVER’S penis and gets into the van. STACEY, JERRY and DAVID get in with her. The van disappears down the road. The DRIVER screams.

INT. VAN- EARLY EVENING

SADIE’S driving. 23

JERRY Do have a driver’s license?

SADIE Fuck no, I aint even old enough to learn how to drive.

JERRY Right.

DAVID Who was that cock back there?

STACEY The driver.

JERRY A lonely cunt is what I call him.

STACEY Jerry, you know what I think about that word.

SADIE laughs.

SADIE If that word offends you then I’m sorry. Because we do worse things than say cunt in our family.

JERRY Well we really want to be part of your family. 24

DAVID You already are.

STACEY You knew our Mum and Dad?

DAVID Erm no.

SADIE Norma is like a foster-Mum. She takes care of the fucked-up.

JERRY I’m fucked-up.

DAVID What about you Stacey? Are you fucked up?

STACEY Been there. Done that. Got the jab. Literally.

DAVID gives nod of understanding.

JERRY Your house doesn’t smell does it?

SADIE 25

Our house.

JERRY Sorry. Our house doesn’t smell does it?

INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM- SAME EVENING

NORMA looks out of the window whilst the rest are watching Keeping up appearances.

PEPPER Norma what are you waiting for?

NORMA I want them two back before Stacey and Jerry turn up.

KYLE Why does that matter?

NORMA Well it’s less nerve wrecking for them that way.

PEPPER How do you even know their nervous? They might be perfectly calm.

JOSHUA laughs and points at the TV.

JOSHUA She’s so menacing. 26

NORMA Well it’s intimidating coming to a new family isn’t it?

KYLE Me and Sadie didn’t find it intimidating.

NORMA Your Parents hadn’t just died.

KYLE For all we know they did.

PEPPER Look there’s nothing for them to be intimidated by anyway. But even if they would to be a little shy we’re nice people.

KYLE Just a little fucked. To the core. That can be a bit off putting sometimes.

PEPPER Yeah well. About 6 hours ago they were gonna be here in 3 hours so maybe they won’t be here until tomorrow.

NORMA No they text me saying they were going to be late. Something about a Welch twat perving on them.

KYLE 27

Jesus I hope they didn’t get murdered like in one of them horror films.

KYLE hears a horrifying girls shriek in his imagination.

NORMA notices a blue van pull up at the curb outside the house. The van has the words LODGELEY MOVERS in big white letters on the side.

NORMA Shitake mushrooms! They’re here.

JOSHUA Whoa Shitake!

PEPPER Wait. Sadie and David are with them.

KYLE What?

NORMA Oh no.

EXT. HOUSE, FRONT GARDEN- EVENING

STACEY and JERRY walk up the path with SADIE and DAVID behind them.

INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM- EVENING 28

NORMA takes a deep breath.

NORMA Here goes.

PEPPER Chill out Norm everything will be copasetic.

KYLE Why don’t you just say cool?

The front door opens and JERRY and STACEY walk into the living room. NORMA turns off the TV. They all stand in silence. JOSHUA gets up and hugs them both making JERRY drop his shoulder bag.

JOSHUA (Pulling away) Hiya. JERRY Hi.

STACEY Hello.

NORMA nods her head and looks around the room before tracing her eyes back to JERRY and STACEY. 29

NORMA How are you both?

JERRY Tired.

PEPPER Are you hungry?

KYLE Yeah me and Sadie make the best brownies ever you won’t feel the same after eating them that’s for sure.

JOSHUA I want some of them.

NORMA No, no one is having any special brownies. Not today.

JERRY Your house doesn’t smell.

PEPPER That’s a good thing?

JERRY Wonderful. It means I won’t puck all over the floor.

KYLE Well that’s a good thing. 30

NORMA Right. Kyle, Sadie go show Jerry the room. Stacey follow Pepper and Joshua.

Everyone leaves the room. DAVID and NORMA are left on their own.

NORMA They’re both nice.

DAVID Cute.

NORMA Not Jerry.

DAVID No he’s. . . spacey.

NORMA I wish I was fucking in space right now.

DAVID Let me find Eskimo’s calming pills.

NORMA Please do.

INT. HOUSE, PEPPER & JOSHUA’S ROOM- SAME EVENING 31

The room has one king sized bed and a curtain rail running across the ceiling with a long silk black drape hanging.

PEPPER The right half is your side of the room and bed.

STACEY We’re sharing the bed?

JOSHUA Yeah is that a prob.

STACEY No. No prob. I just didn’t think we’d share a bed. What ifPEPPER What if what?

STACEY What if you want to. You know. Fuck?

PEPPER Oh don’t worry it’s very rare that he makes me scream. Only when I’m drunk.

JOSHUA Your drunk most of the time.

PEPPER Oh yeah. Then it could be a problem. 32

STACEY looks at the bed a little off put.

INT. HOUSE, KYLE & SADIE’S ROOM- SAME EVENING

In the room are a bunk bed and a water mattress.

KYLE That’s your water mattress.

JERRY smells it.

KYLE This is getting insulting.

JERRY Sorry. I have OCD.

SADIE Oh right.

SADIE sits on the mattress.

SADIE So what are you studying at college?

JERRY Art. 33

KYLE Your an artist?

JERRY Somewhat. What about you two?

SADIE Critical Thinking.

KYLE Travel and Tourism.

JERRY So a Politian and a Holiday rep?

KYLE Yeah.

SADIE No. I don’t really want to be a Politian. I just like arguing and opinion. And kicking shit out of judgmental people.

JERRY When does college start?

KYLE Tomorrow.

34

SADIE And to celebrate it we’re going to a party later. Wanna come?

JERRY Sure.

KYLE laughs.

INT. HOUSE, KITCHEN- EARLY NIGHT

ESKIMO sits on the table and DAVID sits looking at him.

DAVID What does God want me to do Eskimo?

KYLE walks into the room.

KYLE Where’s Josh?

DAVID Pissing in the pond.

KYLE Cheer.

KYLE walks through the conservatory and into the garden.

35

EXT. HOUSE, BACK GARDEN.

JOSHUA is peeing in the pond trying to hit the fish.

KYLE Oi Josh.

JOSHUA Yes friend.

KYLE You got. . . the stuff.

JOSHUA Ey?

KYLE For the party.

JOSHUA Stuff. Stuff.

KYLE Yes the stuff. Illegal stuff.

JOSHUA Oh stuff. You mean drugs don’t you?

KYLE 36

Yes.

JOSHUA Why not just say that? Did you forget what it was called?

KYLE Yes I forgot the word drugs existed.

JOSHUA Don’t worry mate. Happens to me all the time.

KYLE Not surprised. Why are you pissing on the Fish?

JOSHUA Because they just swim. I want to see them fight back.

KYLE They won’t.

JOSHUA I need a shit. They’ll do something then.

KYLE Sort the stuff out yeah?

JOSHUA Stuff.

37

KYLE Yeah?

JOSHUA Stuff.

KYLE Okay.

INT. HOUSE, KITCHEN- SAME NIGHT

KYLE walks into the kitchen where DAVID is playing The Prodigy, Outer Space. On his boom box. He has it over his head swaying.

EXT. HOUSE, BACK GARDEN- SAME NIGHT

JOSHUA does his shorts up and walks into the green house.

INT. GREEN HOUSE- SAME NIGHT

JOSHUA takes a bag off drugs including, Acid, Weed, Coke and Pills out from behind a cacti pot.

EXT. HOUSE,BACK GARDEN- SAME NIGHT

JOSHUA looks up at SADIE & KYLE and now JERRY’S new room window. Where SADIE stands signalling him with her hand as she opens the window with the other. JOSHUA throws the bag at the window and SADIE catches it. 38

INT. HOUSE, SADIE, KYLE & JERRY’S ROOM- SAME NIGHT

SADIE looks for a place to stash the drugs. She hears JERRY coming back from the toilet. SADIE shoves the bag into JERRY’S shoulder bag. JERRY walks into the room and smiles at her. SADIE smiles back.

SADIE OCD ey?

JERRY Yeah.

SADIE What kinda smells don’t you like?

JERRY I don’t know. Just some smells make me sick. You have a Dog?

SADIE Who?

JERRY We. Do we have a Dog?

SADIE Yeah his names Eskimo. JERRY 39

He’ll probably make me throw-up.

SADIE No he’s one of God’s watchers.

JERRY What?

SADIE Nothing.

INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM- SAME NIGHT

NORMA sits looking at the off TV set. STACEY goes in and sits next to NORMA.

STACEY Hey.

NORMA Oh hi. How are you doing?

STACEY Good. Listen thank you for this. You didn’t have to.

NORMA It’s like my job. Looking after people.

40

STACEY Yeah well you know I’m old enough to take care of Jerry.

NORMA I didn’t ask you both here just for Jerry. Besides you don’t have a house.

STACEY I was gonna buy it from the council.

NORMA If you find you don’t like it here you can go any time you want. But don’t ever feel you can’t come back.

STACEY puts her head on NORMA’S shoulder. And they both sit in silence.

INT. HOUSE, HALLWAY- SAME NIGHT

SADIE walks down the stairs wearing heels and in a short skirt, a vest top with a small hand bag. KYLE walks out of the kitchen. JERRY walks down the stairs after SADIE.

SADIE Are we ready to party?

KYLE I think we should take the Dog with us. 41

EXT. STREET- LATE NIGHT

SADIE, KYLE and JERRY walk down the street. JERRY has his shoulder bag on but is unaware that the drugs are in it.

JERRY So where is this party?

KYLE You’ll see mate.

SADIE You’ll love it.

EXT. SHOPPING CENTRE- SAME NIGHT

The 3 teens walk down the car park to the shopping centre.

JERRY Why are we here for?

KYLE This is where the party’s at kidder.

JERRY You what?

SADIE Yep. One of the security guards is obsessed with Pepper so she. . . convinced him to open it for us. 42

JERRY This is illegal though?

SADIE This would be a proper corrupt city if it wasn’t.

KYLE Plus it wouldn’t be any fun.

The teens are at the doors.

A security guard NIGEL opens the giant doors and let’s them. NIGEL locks the doors.

INT. SHOPPING CENTRE- SAME NIGHT

Britney Spears, If you seek Amy is blaring from the speakers and Teenagers are going mental around the shopping centre. The shops are all closed but the teens have alcohol and are dancing, laughing and kissing. NIGEL Oh how’s Pepper doing?

SADIE Fine Nigel.

SADIE and KYLE walk into the bedlam.

JERRY Couldn’t you get sacked for this?

43

NIGEL Yes.

NIGEL takes a long swig of Vodka. SADIE grabs JERRY and pulls him into a corner. SADIE pulls the bag of drugs out of JERRY’S shoulder bag.

SADIE Right let’s get fucked off the good stuff.

SADIE sniffs the bag.

JERRY Where did that come from?

SADIE Joshua gave them us.

JERRY You didn’t take nothing from my bag did you?

SADIE No I aint even looked in there I just put these in.

JERRY Oh okay.

SADIE Do you want some?

JERRY 44

No I don’t do drugs. The alcohol is about all I’ll take.

SADIE But you won’t get drunk will you?

JERRY No.

SADIE Right.

SADIE pushes the bag into JERRY’S arms.

SADIE If you aint gonna take none sell it will you?

JERRY Erm is it illegal?

SADIE sighs and walks away.

JERRY Oh okay.

JERRY begins selling the drugs to surrounding people. KYLE stands on top of the non-moving escalators kissing a strange girl. SADIE walks up the next-door escalators and pushes the girl away. SADIE lights a joint. They both watch JERRY.

45

SADIE We could make something out of him couldn’t we?

KYLE Life just got interesting Sade.

INT. HOUSE, LIVING ROOM- SAME NIGHT

PEPPER, NORMA and STACEY are sitting in the living room. PEPPER is rubbing her Napoleon Dynamite DVD.

PEPPER Fuck sakes Norma. Why’d you chuck it out the window for?

NORMA Because it’s not a good film at all.

STACEY Erm where’s Jerry?

NORMA With Kyle and Sadie somewhere.

PEPPER Erm Sadie and Kyle went to a party.

STACEY So Jerry’s with them?

PEPPER Yes. 46

NORMA That sounds fun. Where is it?

PEPPER The shopping centre.

NORMA (Looks suspiciously at PEPPER) This isn’t the illegal drug filled college celebration party by any chance? The one I said no way to?

PEPPER Possibly.

NORMA stands up

NORMA Pepper get down there now.

STACEY stands.

STACEY I’m coming with you.

PEPPER stands.

PEPPER Fine. You can drive. Josh!

NORMA 47

Why does he have to go?

PEPPER (Walking out of the room) They’re his drugs.

STACEY follows her out. NORMA sits back down. She sighs and brushes her hands through her hair.

INT. NORMA’S CAR- SAME NIGHT

STACEY is driving. PEPPER is in the passenger’s seat. JOSHUA is in the middle back seat. JOSHUA moves forward.

JOSHUA (To STACEY) What are you gonna do to them?

STACEY Nothing. Norma on the other hand.

JOSHUA They’re in the shit.

PEPPER So are you. Useless bastard. Why would you give them drugs?

JOSHUA 48

Says you who enjoys my drugs.

PEPPER I’m not six-fucking-teen.

JOSHUA No your 18.

PEPPER Oh piss off.

They come to the shopping centre car park.

JOSHUA jumps up.

JOSHUA Your gonna smash into the building.

STACEY What?

JOSHUA grabs the steering wheel.

PEPPER Joshua you twat!

They smack into the curb with a bump.

STACEY unclips her seat belt and gets out. She runs up to the big glass doors and looks through it with a disgusted look on her face. 49

She bangs on the glass.

STACEY Open the fucking door.

NIGEL walks up to the door.

NIGEL Please don’t tell no one.

STACEY Open the door now!

PEPPER runs up behind her.

PEPPER Nigel open it!

NIGEL opens the door. STACEY barges past him.

INT. SHOPPING CENTRE- SAME NIGHT

NIGEL locks the door and sees JOSHUA licking the car window.

NIGEL You alright then Pepper?

PEPPER You were premature Nigel. I’m not doing it again. 50

STACEY sees JERRY in the crowd and grabs his arm.

STACEY Come on!

JERRY Stacey? Are you mad at me!

STACEY Where are the other two?

JERRY Peppers got them

PEPPER grabs SADIE and KYLE by the arms. They all run to the door and NIGEL unlocks it. They run out.

EXT. SHOPPING CENTRE- SAME NIGHT

They hear police sirens and run into the car.

INT. NORMA’S CAR- SAME NIGHT

Police cars begin to swarm the car park so STACEY put her foot down.

EXT. SHOPPING CENTRE- SAME NIGHT

they drive out of the area A police car follows them 51

A group of officers run up to the centre.

INT. NORMA’S CAR- SAME NIGHT

SADIE, PEPPER and KYLE are in the back with JOSHUA. JERRY is in the passenger’s seat SADIE and KYLE laugh. JOSHUA laughs with them just for the sake of it.

STACEY That wasn’t funny.

JERRY It was a bit.

PEPPER It was funny but totally irresponsible.

STACEY I don’t see the funny side myself.

JERRY (To himself) You never do.

STACEY hears him though.

Behind them they hear a siren. PEPPER laughs.

PEPPER 52

Of course.

STACEY unexpectedly to the others takes a turn into a field surrounded by high bushes. She stops the car in the middle of the field and locks the doors.

STACEY We aint leaving.

SADIE How much did you sell Jerry?

STACEY How much of what?

JERRY I got £98.

STACEY Selling what?

KYLE Drugs.

STACEY What? Jerry you nob end. JOSHUA notices a cow running towards the back of the car.

JOSHUA Moo!

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PEPPER looks through the back window and sees the cow.

PEPPER Drive Stacey.

SADIE You can have 8 pounds of it how’s that?

JOSHUA Moo!

PEPPER Stacey fucking drive!

PEPPER turns the key in the ignition and pulls the gear shift. STACEY looks through the rear view mirror.

STACEY Jesus fucking Christ.

STACEY drives and the car tips into a ditch. The cow runs back.

STACEY Bollocks.

INT. HOUSE, KITCHEN- 1 HOUR LATER, NIGHT

NORMA and DAVID sit at the table with ESKIMO on the table.

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The conservatory door opens and PEPPER, JOSHUA, SADIE, KYLE, STACEY and JERRY walk through to the kitchen. All covered in mud and bear foot with their shoes in their hands.

PEPPER I’ll go get your car tomorrow.

NORMA What where’s my car?

DAVID Dude where’s my car.

They all laugh apart from STACEY and NORMA.

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BENEFITS EPISODE 1 THE PILOT BY CODY MALTBY

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