Believe Out Loud Manual

BELIEVE OUT LOUD: Called to Witness Campaign Participant Guide

Creating Change One Person at a Time

Table of Contents Called To Witness: Welcome................................................................................................. 2  Called to Witness Year Three: Believe Out Loud ..................................................................................... 3  Called to Witness: Creating Change One Person at a Time ..................................................................... 4  Believe Out Loud Campaign Actions: The Annual Conference Team ...................................................... 6  Believe Out Loud Campaign Chart ........................................................................................................... 7  Believe Out Loud Campaign Timeline ...................................................................................................... 7 

How We Are Doing Our Work: Relational Organizing ........................................................ 9  Organizing, Leadership and Action ....................................................................................................... 10 

Telling Our Public Stories .................................................................................................... 14  How Public Narrative Works ................................................................................................................. 15  Guidelines For Telling Our Stories ......................................................................................................... 17  Guidelines For Coaching Stories ............................................................................................................ 17  Building Relationships ........................................................................................................................... 22 

Creating a Team ................................................................................................................... 28  Believe Out Loud Discipleship Teams: .................................................................................................. 29  Three Team Essentials ........................................................................................................................... 30 

Devising Strategy ................................................................................................................. 36  Generating a Successful Strategy .......................................................................................................... 37 

Mobilizing Constituencies: Action ...................................................................................... 42  Appendices ........................................................................................................................... 44  Five‐Year Called to Witness Overview: Creating Change One Person at a Time .................................. 45  What We Have Already Accomplished! (Called to Witness Past Campaigns) ...................................... 46  BOLD Gatherings: Detailed Information ............................................................................................... 47  Relationships in Organizing By Marshall Ganz ...................................................................................... 50  Creating a Culture of Commitment ....................................................................................................... 54  Reconciling Annual Conference Teams: ................................................................................................ 58  Resources from Reconciling Ministries Network .................................................................................. 60  Sample Thank You Note ........................................................................................................................ 62  Contact Information .............................................................................................................................. 63 

They were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness. ~Acts 4:31b Page 1 of 63

Called To Witness: Welcome Welcome! We are excited that you are journeying with us as we work to mobilize United Methodists of all sexual orientations and gender identities to transform our Church and world into the full expression of Christ’s inclusive love. In 2009 we are excited to participate in our third year of the Called to Witness Program. We will work together to grow our movement by organizing in our individual annual conferences and engaging people in our work for equality at small group gatherings. We have wonderful fruits from our work over the past two years, which you can find on page seven of this manual – and look forward to seeing how our work creates a tidal wave in our church of energy and action. Please never hesitate to contact us with questions or suggestions for how things could be improved. With your help, we anticipate a wonderful year ahead! Sincerely,

Troy

Rev. Troy Plummer Executive Director, RMN

Tiffany

Rev. Tiffany Steinwert CTW, National Field Organizer

And the team of National Trainers: Michelle Blue, C. Kristian Clauser, Carl Davis, Rachel Harvey, Ruben Herrera, Audrey Krumbach, Katy Krumbach, Nehemiah Luckett, Jim Robey, Laura Rossbert, Gloria Soliz, Derrick Spiva, Eric Strader, Laura Young.

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Called to Witness Year Three: Believe Out Loud Our Mission Statement: “Believing that LGBT persons should be welcome in their churches is not enough. We need to BELIEVE OUT LOUD!”

If we want to change our denomination, we must first change the hearts of the people in the pews….and to do that we must tell our stories! Our RMN Believe Out Loud campaign is a new initiative to empower Reconciling United Methodists to tell their stories. The BOL campaign is designed to gather Reconciling United Methodists in small groups so that they might share their stories and transform the church through their witness.

Our stories are too often silent in pews and pulpits across the nation. Recent studies have shown that one of the largest obstacles to creating a more fully inclusive church is silence. A study by Christian Community, entitled Silent and Undecided Friends, discovered that there is far more support for the full inclusion of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities in mainline churches than publicly acknowledged. In their survey, Christian Community discovered that •

68% of United Methodist clergy personally felt homosexual persons should be fully welcomed and accepted without qualification.

•

64% of all clergy affirmed the full civil rights of LGBTQ persons in society.

Yet, only •

7% publicly expressed their welcome and affirmation! Page 3 of 63

Called to Witness: Creating Change One Person at a Time When asked why he chose to move across the street from conservative evangelist Jerry Falwell’s church, LGBTQ advocate Rev. Mel White, said “People don’t change until they know other people’s stories.” White understood that people don’t change their hearts and minds on the issue of sexuality based on carefully constructed arguments or complicated biblical exegesis. People change their hearts and minds through their relationships, as they come to know the story of another.

“People don’t change their minds until they know people’s stories.” ~ Rev. Mel White, 2007

In their book Widening the Welcome of Your Church, Fred Bernhard and Steve Clapp share this account: A prominent Mennonite church leader, whose name would be immediately recognized by many if we used it here, found his view of homosexuality challenged when his twenty-year-old grandson came out as gay. He described it in this way: “I’ve always been pretty conservative on this issue. I recognize that the Bible doesn’t say a great deal about homosexuality, but what is there has always seemed to me to be prohibitive. But now I find myself with a grandson, who never wanted to be gay, who has concluded that it is part of who he is, part of how God made him. “I held that little boy in my arms thirty minutes after his birth, and he has spent at least a week in my home every year of his life. I’m starting to take a new look at what the Bible says about sexuality, and I’m paying more attention to the Genesis story of creation, the context of the relatively small number of prohibitions, and the strong teachings of Christ about love. I haven’t sorted it all out theologically, but I have to say this: A grandson trumps theology. You are looking at a new gay rights activist.” This year, Believe Out Loud Disciples across our Methodist connection will gather in Annual Conference teams, plan BOLD gatherings, and tell our stories in order to invite even more United Methodists to join the movement for the full inclusion of all persons of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

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The Believe Out Loud Campaign Called to Witness Long Range Plan: In the first two years of Called to Witness, we learned how to tell our stories. This year we are learning to create spaces and places in which to tell those stories.

Campaign Goals: The campaign goals of Believe Out Loud are to: •

Tell Our Stories

•

Build Relationships

•

Organize Strategically

•

Strengthen Annual Conference Teams (ACTs)

•

Grow Our Movement

Campaign Actions: In order to accomplish these goals, we will: •

Organize 50 Annual Conference Teams (ACTs)

•

Train 1000 Believe Out Loud Discipleship (BOLD) Team Members

•

Sponsor 250 Believe Out Loud Discipleship (BOLD) Gatherings

•

Invite 3,000 New People to Become Believe Out Loud Disciples (BOLDs)

Campaign Outcomes: The goals of Believe Out Loud are to: •

Commit – sign up 7,000 new RUMs so we have 25,000 across the country!

•

Share – share stories with 3,000 people.

•

Pledge – raise $250,000 in new pledges

3,000 Stories Shared  25,000 RUMs, $250,000 New Pledges 

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Believe Out Loud Campaign Actions: The Annual Conference Team Each Annual Conference Team will be invited to: • Organize Believe Out Loud Discipleship (BOLD) Teams •

Each ACT will organize small groups to carry out the campaign in their own communities. These small groups will plan BOLD Gatherings of 12 people in their local area to share stories and invite people into the Reconciling Movement.

• Host BOLD Gatherings •

BOLD Gatherings are meetings of 12 disciples who gather to share their stories and grow the movement.

• Gather BOLD Commitments At each BOLD Gathering participants will be asked to: •

Commit - Sign a Reconciling United Methodist (RUMs) Card,

•

Share - Share their story of God’s welcome with others, and

•

Pledge - Pledge a monthly donation to RMN.

• Coach and Support BOLD Disciples •

Each ACT will continue to work with the BOLD Disciples who come to the gatherings to support and coach them as they reach out and invite others to join the campaign by signing up as a RUM, sharing their stories with others, and pledging to the anniversary campaign.

Believe Out Loud Disciples are people who:  • Commit – Sign a Reconciling United Methodist (RUM) card.   • Share – Tell their story to at least two other people and ask  them to join the movement.   • Pledge – Donate a monthly contribution to the Reconciling  Ministries Network.

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Believe Out Loud Campaign Chart ROLES & EVENTS National Field Organizer

National Trainers

Annual Conference Team (ACT) Organizers

BELIEVE OUT LOUD DISCIPLESHIP TRAINING ACT Action Members:

BOLD Teams:

BOLD GATHERING

Believe Out Loud Disciples (BOLD):

ACTIONS & GOALS Lead monthly trainer and jurisdictional conference calls Train, support, and coach National Trainer Attend monthly trainer and jurisdictional conference call Lead BOLD Training in assigned Annual Conferences. Coach and Follow up with ACT organizers and members 3-5 organizers in each annual conference who commit to: Attend monthly jurisdictional conference call Organize BOL training in AC Recruit 25 or more ACT Action Members to attend BOL training Support BOLD organizers Follow up with BOL Disciples One day BOLD training includes: working effectively in teams, organizing strategically and telling our stories 25+ reconciling volunteers who: Attend BOL Training Are invited to participate in BOLD teams to coordinate BOLD gatherings 3-5 ACT members who plan a BOLD gathering together. Organize a single BOLD gathering in local area, Host BOLD gathering Plan gathering agenda Invite 10-20 potential disciples to gathering Take action as a BOLD (sign, commit, pledge) Follow up with new BOLDs after gathering Meet to complete BOLD gathering report Small group gathering planned by BOLD organizers in which 12 Disciples meet, share their stories, and commit to action in the movement for a fully inclusive church. Commit – Sign a Reconciling United Methodist (RUM) card. Share – Tell their stories to at least two other people and ask them to join the movement. Pledge – Donate a monthly contribution to the Reconciling Ministries Network.

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Believe Out Loud Campaign Timeline PreCampaign

BOLD ACT Training Planning Phase: Recruit potential BOLD Teams for training Host and plan BOL training BOLD ACT Trainings:

Week 1

3-5-person leadership teams trained at BOL Trainings to organize BOLD Gatherings in their local areas BOLD Gathering Planning Phase:

Weeks 2 - 5

A) BOLD Organizer recruits BOLD Host B) BOLD Organizer and Host invite participants C) BOLD Organizer and Host plan gathering agenda BOLD Gatherings:

Weeks 6 - 8

A) Annual Conference Teams sponsor BOLD Gatherings B) BOLD Disciples commit, share and pledge at BOLD Gatherings BOLD Discipleship: A) BOLDs invite others to COMMIT to RMN

Weeks 7 - 11

B) BOLDs SHARE their stories with others C) BOLDs invite others to PLEDGE to RMN D) BOLDs share their success with their BOLD Organizers Campaign Evaluation and Celebration:

Week 12

Celebration of goals reached, sharing of stories, and evaluation of the overall campaign

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How We Are Doing Our Work: Relational Organizing “Relationship building is central to the craft of organizing.” – Marshall Ganz

Relational organizing: •

Prioritizes relationships as the primary motivating factor for change

•

Is an integral part of faithful discipleship.

•

Is part of our call as Christians

Remember Jesus’ instructions when he sends the disciples out to preach and teach the Gospel?

Whatever
house
you
enter,
first
say,
“Peace
to
this
house!”

And
if
anyone
is
 there
who
shares
in
peace,
your
peace
will
rest
on
that
person;
but
if
not,
it
 will
 return
 to
 you.
 Remain
 in
 the
 same
 house,
 eating
 and
 drinking
 whatever
 they
 provide,
 for
 the
 laborer
 deserves
 to
 be
 paid.
 Do
 not
 move
 about
 from
 house
to
house.
Whenever
you
enter
a
town
and
its
people
welcome
you,
eat
 what
is
set
before
you;
cure
the
sick
who
are
there,
and
say
to
them,
“The
kin‐ dom
of
God
has
come
near
to
you.”
 
~Luke
10:
5‐9



For Jesus, discipleship meant getting to know other people: sitting at table, eating, drinking and sharing stories. Our work depends on cultivating and nurturing relationships both:

Our campaign is modeled on the work of Marshall Ganz. A Lecturer in Public Policy at the Harvard University John F. Kennedy School of Government, Ganz teaches, researches, and writes on leadership, organization, and strategy in social movements, civic associations, and politics. Out of his advocacy work as a community organizer in the civil rights movement in Mississippi and the United Farm Workers movement in California, Ganz developed a model of public narrative suited to a broad range of organizing and advocacy work. Ganz posits that through our public storytelling we not only communicate our most cherished values, but inspire others to act through our tales of challenge and growth. The subsequent pages on organizing and public narrative are adapted from the following publications by Ganz: • “Organizing Notes,” (© Marshall Ganz, Kennedy School of Government, 2008), • “Public Narrative Worksheet,” (© Marshall Ganz, Kennedy School of Government, 2006), and • “Public Narrative Workshop Guide,” (© Marshall Ganz, Kennedy School of Government, 2008). Additional adaptations were drawn from the LASPAU Participant Guide (2008) and the Episcopal Millenium Development Goals Congregational Campaign (2009).

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Organizing, Leadership and Action What is Organizing? Organizing transforms a community’s resources into goals through building relationships, crafting strategy and taking action.

Organizing involves three central tasks: • Identifying, recruiting and developing leadership; • Creating community around that leadership; and • Building power from the resources of that community.

Goals

Resources 

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What is Leadership: Leadership builds relationships in order to   enable others to achieve purpose in the face of  uncertainty by focusing on one’s own calling, the  calling of one’s community, and the call to action.    

Leadership is what transforms a dis-organization into an organization.

Disorganization

Leadership

Organization

Divided 

Build Relationships 

Community 

Confused 

Interpret 

Understanding 

Passive 

Motivate 

Participation 

Reactive 

Strategize 

Initiative 

Inaction 

Mobilize 

Action 

Drift 

Accept Responsibility 

Purpose 

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When do we Organize? We organize through strategy cycles called campaigns. Each campaign is a time limited strategy that uses organizing practices to achieve a specific goal. For example, from June of 2007 to May of 2008, the first Called to Witness campaign organized 500 people across the United Methodist connection to tell their stories to 250 General Conference delegates.

This year, Believe Out Loud is creating 12-week campaigns in 50 Annual Conferences during which we will sponsor 250 BOLD Gatherings, invite 7,000 new RUMs – so our group grows to 25,000, share 3,000 stories and raise $250,000 in pledges. Foundation:

Strategic Planning with the National Office Staff Training

Kick-Off:

Convocation 2009 Announcement of Campaign Annual Conference Organizers’ Training

Peaks:

Annual Conference Team Trainings BOLD Gatherings BOLD Disciples in the World: Commit – Share – Pledge

The Peak:

Anniversary Celebration: Announcement of new RUMS, unveiling of story corps project, and fund dedication

Resolution:

Celebration and Evaluation Page 12 of 63

How do we Organize? BOL Organizing Tactics Include: •

Telling our stories: We will share with others our deeply held values, commitments and passion.

•

Building relationships: Listening to the stories of others to discover their deeply held values, commitments and passion, and identifying the places where you share interests and can exchange valuable resources.

•

Creating a team: Working together with a shared set of values, roles, responsibilities, norms and expectations to achieve a common goal.

•

Devising strategy: Crafting a step by step plan to reach your common goal.

•

Mobilizing Commitments: Recruiting team members and others to commit their time, energy, skills and passion to completing the campaign goals.  

3,000 Stories Shared 7,000 RUMs   $250,000 pledges 

Believe Out Loud   Disciples and Organizers 

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Telling Our Public Stories “Emotions are the language of values.” Marshall Ganz When we answer “why me?”  questions, we not only find  renewed energy from re‐ discovering our own deeply  held commitments, but we also  ignite the passion of others!

The questions of what am I called to, what my community is called to do, and what we are called to do now are at least as old as Moses’ conversation with God at the burning bush. Why me? Asks Moses, when he is called to free his people. And, who is calling me? And, why these people? Why here, now, in this place? We are here to learn to answer those questions for the Believe Out Loud campaign.

Why do we need to tell our stories? •

Stories not only teach us how to act – they inspire us to act.

•

Stories communicate our values through the language of the heart, our emotions.

•

Stories foster relationships. They engage others and create an empathetic link between the storyteller and the listener.

•

Our feelings, our hopes, our cares, our obligations – not simply what we know – ultimately inspire us to act with courage. Since our stories relate our values through lived experience and not abstract debate or argument, they have the power to move others.

•

We can share the wisdom of our life experiences by telling our personal stories about the challenges of living in a denomination where LGBT persons are excluded, the choices we have made in response, and what we have learned from the outcomes. Such sharing will hopefully inspire others to join in our local work for full inclusion of ALL people in our church.

Public narrative is  Public narrative is a practice of leadership the art of translating  Public leaders employ both the “head” and the “heart” in order to mobilize others to act effectively on behalf of shared values. In other values into action  words, they engage people in interpreting why they should change through stories. their world – their motivation – and how they can act to change it – their strategy. Public narrative is the “why”—the art of translating values into action through stories. It is a process through which individuals, communities, and nations construct their identity, make choices, and inspire action.

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How Public Narrative Works The key to motivation is understanding that values inspire action through emotion. Emotions inform us of what we value in ourselves, in others, and in the world, and enable us to express the motivational content of our values to others. In other words, because we experience values emotionally, they are what actually move us to act, not only the idea that we ought to act. Because stories allow us to express our values not as abstract principles, but as lived experience, they have the power to move others.

Some emotions inhibit action, but other emotions facilitate action. Action is inhibited by inertia, fear, self-doubt, isolation, and apathy. Action is facilitated by urgency, hope, YCMAD (you can make a difference), solidarity, and anger. Stories mobilize emotions of action to overcome emotions that inhibit us from action.

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Through narrative we can articulate our values by communicating their emotional as well as conceptual content through a simple plot: Challenge  Choice  Outcome  Public narrative combines a story of self, a story of us, and a story of now. A “story of self” tells why we have been called to serve. The key focus is on choice points, moments in our lives when our values are formed when we have to choose in the face of great uncertainty, When did you first care about being heard, about concern with others, about abuses of power, about poverty, about the natural world? Why? When did you feel you had to do something about it? Why did you feel you could? What were the circumstances? Why are you part of the Reconciling movement? A “story of us” communicates why our community, organization, movement, campaign has been called to its mission. Just as with a person, the key is choice points in the life of the community and/or those moments that express the values underlying the work your organization does. Who are we together as Reconciling United Methodists?  A “story of now” communicates the urgent challenge we are called upon to face now, the hope we can face if successful, and the choices we must make to act now (our strategy). These three stories can be woven together into one coherent story that links our values and passions with that of the movement as a way to engage and mobilize others to take action.

What are we called to do now for the Reconciling movement? 

SELF

MOVEMENT

NOW

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Guidelines For Telling Our Stories Stories should… ; Be under 2 minutes: Good stories are focused and well-organized. Remember you are telling the story of one moment in time. Focus on one challenge, one choice and one outcome. ; Be specific—use details: Take the listener to the moment you are describing. What are the sights, sounds, smells, and emotions of that moment. Use present tense. Try telling the story without using the word “and.” ; Tap into emotion: Stories should pull at the heartstrings of the listener. Help the listener understand the values you are describing through the language of emotion. ; Include a challenge, a choice and an outcome: Make sure these three points are clear and well articulated. ; Offer hope: Stories should be inspirational. End on a positive note. Offer the good news through your story. ; Communicate values: Stories have a point and that point is a value that you want to inspire and cultivate in the listener.

Guidelines For Coaching Stories Coaching Checklist: DO ; Say what works first in the story, focusing on specifics. ; Identify both the CHALLENGE and the HOPE in the story. ; Clarify choice points, the moment when one thing happened and not another. ; Connect the dots in the narrative, helping to illuminate how someone got from here to there. ; Look for themes. ; Ask questions about the intended audience and the desired action or response.

DON’T ; Offer vague abstract "feel good" comments, unless you’ve established the context. What does the story teller learn from “you did a great job”, as opposed to, “the way you described your moment of choice made me feel very hopeful because. . . . “

; Make value judgments about the story teller’s voice or the validity of the point they want to make. The key here is that a person find ways to express themselves in their own voice –word choice, humor, metaphor, etc. Of course they need to know if choices they’ve made communicate what they want to communicate. Page 17 of 63

Team Work 1: Telling Our Stories Goals The first “teamwork” you’re asked to do is to coach each other in telling your story of self. One goal is to articulate – and share - the values that draw you to the Reconciling Movement. A second goal is to locate within these stores values you share, challenges you face, and hopes to which you aspire. Be prepared to take some risks, and support your team members as they step out on the limb themselves!

Agenda TOTAL TIME: 30 min. 1. Gather in your 4 person small group and choose a timekeeper.

5 min.

2. Take some time to silently develop your own story using the worksheet.

5 min.

3. Tell your story to your team members and respond to each other – each person takes 2 min. to tell their stories, and the group has 5 min. to offer feedback.

20min.

NOTE: You have just 2 minutes to tell you story. Stick to this limit. Make sure your time-keeper cuts you off. This both encourages focus and makes sure everyone has a chance. REPORT OUT: Choose one person in the group whose story best exemplifies why they are part of the Reconciling movement.

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Work Sheet 1 Telling Your Story of Self Reflection Take time to reflect on your own story of self. Think about why you are called to be part of the Reconciling Movement: • • • • •

What experiences have drawn you to Reconciling Ministries Network? When was the “aha” moment of realizing you wanted to commit yourself to the movement for full inclusion in the United Methodist Church? Why are you part of the Reconciling movement? Can you recall a particular incident or moment that led you to become a Reconciling United Methodist? Why did you come here today?

Go back as far as you can remember. Focus on the challenges you had to face, the choices you made about how to deal with them, and the satisfaction – or frustration - you experienced. Why did you make those choices? Why did you do this and not that? Keep asking yourself, “Why?” Many of us who are active in the Reconciling movement have stories of both loss and hope. If we did not have stories of loss, we would not understand that loss is a part of the world, we would have no reason to try to fix things. But we also have stories of hope. Otherwise we wouldn’t be trying to fix it.

A good public story is drawn from the series of choice points that structure the “plot” of your life – the challenges you faced, choices you made, and outcomes you experienced. Challenge: Why did you feel it was a challenge? What was so challenging about it? Why was it your challenge? Choice: Why did you make the choice you did? Where did you get the courage – or not? Where did you get the hope – or not? How did it feel? Outcome: How did the outcome feel? Why did it feel that way? What did it teach you? What do you want to teach us? How do you want us to feel?

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Record Your Thoughts About Your Public Narrative Tips for Brainstorming your Public Narrative • • •

Determine the challenge, the choice, and outcome you want to focus on for this story. Add specific details. Reflect on how it makes you feel. Keep it short – you only have two minutes.

Map the Challenge, Choice, and Outcome for your story here: Challenge

Choice

Record feedback/comments from your team members here:

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Outcome

Coaching Your Team's “Public Story” As you hear each other's stories, keeping track of the details of each person’s story will help you to provide feedback and remember details about the people on your team later. Use the grid below to track each team member’s story. Name

Challenge

Choice

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Outcome

Notes

Building Relationships Through our stories we reveal our values and discover the basis for forming relationships with one another.

Relationships are the key to organizing. It is in and through our relationships that we discover the hidden stories of others and the values those stories reveal. By building relationships, we build, strengthen and grow our movement.

Relationships are essential because: •

We create change by building relationships that are rooted in a commitment to a shared future.

•

Relationships help us identify common interests so that we can work together for change.

•

We build relationships by both telling and listening to the stories of our individual and communal journeys.

•

The stories we tell reveal our values through the choices we have made and help us identify common interests.

•

We elicit other people’s stories by listening carefully and asking good questions about the choices they have made and the moments that reveal values and common interest. For example: o Why did you go to this school rather than that school? o Why did you study this rather than that? o Why did you become a United Methodist and not join another denomination?

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One on One Meetings One on one meetings are the key to building and sustaining successful relationships and organizations. By talking with someone, one on one, we learn their story, unlock their passion and discover values that we share. These shared values become the basis for working together to create change. We should think of one on one meetings as tools we will use throughout our work – to invite people to trainings, to call new leaders onto our teams and to invite people to our BOLD gatherings.

One on One Meetings are: •

Scheduled – not accidental. Leaders initiate relationships with others.

•

Purposeful – not chit-chat. Leaders initiate one to one meetings for the purpose of finding common values and interests.

•

Intentional – not casual or haphazard. One to one meetings establish a public relationship for public work together.

•

Probing – not prying. One to one meetings help participants discover each other’s interests and stories when participants exchange many “why?” questions.

One on One meetings are not: •

Sending an email or even exchanging an email.

•

Making a phone call or leaving a message.

•

Asking someone to do something without establishing a relationship first.

The elements of a successful one on one meeting include: •

Attention – we have to get another person’s attention to conduct a one on one meeting. The best way is simply to be up front about your own interest in the other person and the purpose of the meeting.

•

Interest – There must be a purpose or a goal in setting up a one on one meeting. It could range from, “I’m starting a discipleship group and thought you might be interested” to “I’d like to get to know you better.”

•

Exploration – most of the meeting time is spent in exploration. We probe to learn about the person’s values, resources and interests by asking why they made the choices that they did and sharing our own. This is different than prying into one another’s personal lives.

•

Exchange – we exchange resources in the meeting such as information, support, and insight. This creates the foundation for future exchanges.

•

Commitment - a successful one on one meeting ends with a commitment, most likely to meet again. By scheduling a specific time for this meeting, you make it a real commitment.

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Team Work 2: Common Interests, Shared Resources Goals The goals of this team work session are to identify the interests that you and your team members have in common, identify some of the resources to which you have access, and consider commitments you might make to one another that could enable you to act on these interests. First you will work with one partner, probing each other’s stories to learn each other’s resources and interests, and identifying common interests on behalf of which you may commit to working together.

Agenda TOTAL TIME: 25 minutes 1. In pairs, practice a mini one on one with each other. Begin with the story of self you heard your partner tell in the last session. Follow up with questions you might have that will help you understand more deeply their values, interests and resources. Spend 5 minutes on each person.

10 min

2. Report back to the group, the shared interests and resources that emerged from your conversation.

5 min

3. As a group, reflect on the interests and resources named. What interests do people in your group hold about the Reconciling Movement? What resources do they have to offer? What is the story of us that is beginning to emerge?

10 min

List the two or three interests and resources to report out. The group chooses the person who can best articulate interests and resources they share.

Report Out: Your spokesperson will report the team’s interests and resources.

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Work Sheet 2:One-on-Ones ONE ON ONE PRACTICE Building on your personal stories of why you were called to be part of the Reconciling Movement, probe for your partner’s interests – to what goals does s/he aspire, what is s/he trying to make happen, what does s/he want to be doing in 10 years, what legacy does s/he want to have? Also listen to your partner’s story for the resources to which s/he has access. Be specific. Steer clear of the temptation to talk about issues in an abstract sense—talk about why YOU care about that issue because of your experiences and circumstances.

Record here the interests that you and your partner share.

Record here the resources that you identified during your one on one.

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Your Team's Common nterests and Resources: Now you will work to identify the interests and resources that you share as a team. First, each pair has 2 minutes to report on their shared interests, why they have those interests, and resources they can contribute to acting on those interests. Be sure the timekeeper is limiting each speaker to 2 minutes. One team member should record the team’s interests on a sheet of flip chart paper, and the resource below will help you ensure you know your team’s interests and resources after you leave the training.

NAME

INTERESTS

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RESOURCES

As a group, review the list to identify interests that members of your team share in doing your work. Discuss themes and commonalities that emerge among the interests listed. Is there an interest or value that encompasses everyone in the group? What shared interest or value do you have that you can work together on behalf of? Identify the common interests the team shares as a group (no more than three).

Choose one of your team members to report out to the whole group: As a team, our common interests are _________________________________.

Collectively, these are the resources we can contribute (list resources).

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Creating a Team What Is a Team? • • • •

A team is a collection of people working together to accomplish a goal. Team members gather (find one another) by identifying common interests and shared values. Effective teams work towards their goal by identifying common values and sharing resources. Team members share their varied talents and abilities to each accomplish different tasks.

What is the difference between a group and a team? A group becomes a team when they covenant to work together towards a goal by communicating regularly, sharing resources, and organizing strategically.

Why do organizing teams matter? •

To organize an effective campaign and to launch the movement we would like to see, we need to organize ourselves. Organizing teams engages people in working together around shared values to achieve common purposes.

•

Working in teams moves us beyond small individual acts to collective power. We have all been part of volunteer or other teams that have not worked well. They fall into factions, they alienate each other, all the work falls on one person. So many of us come to the conclusion: I’ll just do it on my own. There’s just one thing wrong: we can’t become powerful enough to do what we need to do if we can’t work together and figure out how to use Two are better than each person’s strengths to the benefit of the whole team and the mission. one, because they have a good reward for their • Working in teams embodies Biblical themes and Jesus’ ministry with the toil. For if they fall, one disciples. will lift up the other… • Working in teams offers us multiple perspectives to strengthen our A threefold cord is not actions. Individuals cannot hold themselves accountable, carry quickly broken. themselves when they are tired, or challenge themselves when they are ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 being stubborn.

Looking to another team for inspiration. The Orpheus Chamber Orchestra was founded in 1972 by cellist Julian Fifer with a group of students and recent conservatory graduates. Orpheus is known for its unique choice to play music together as a “conductorless orchestra.” Orpheus is a self-governing group and has a history of sharing and rotating leadership roles. For every piece of music, the members of the orchestra select the concertmaster and principal players. These players constitute the "core" group, whose role is to form the initial concept of the piece and to shape the rehearsal process. In full rehearsals, all members of the orchestra participate in refining the interpretation and execution, with members taking turns listening from the hall for balance, blend, articulation, dynamic range and clarity of expression. Orpheus has won numerous awards including a 2001 Grammy award and a later Grammy nomination. Orchestra leaders have also founded a series of educational programs to teach business and other leaders about the ways in which it operates. Page 28 of 63

What is a Reconciling ACT? An ACT is a group of United Methodists in a particular Annual Conference who are working to guide The UMC towards full inclusion of all sexual orientations and gender identities by building relationships, sharing stories, and strategically organizing United Methodist leaders. Some ACTs will first come together as a result of this Believe Out Loud campaign, others have been meeting and working for many years. One of the goals of this campaign is to organize new teams and strengthen existing ones so that they will continue to gather, rotate leadership, and act for change in their annual conferences.

How does the Annual Conference Team fit into the Believe Out Loud Campaign? In the context of the Believe Out Loud campaign, the ACT teams organize, facilitate and coordinate the campaign for the entire Annual Conference. ACT Teams are responsible for:

BOLD
 Team


• Organizing today’s training • Inviting people to participate • Coaching and supporting participants following the training •

Communicating with the national campaign

BOLD
 Team



 A.C.T.


BOLD
 Team


BOLD
 Team


BOLD
 Team


Believe Out Loud Discipleship Teams: BOLD Discipleship Teams consist of 3 to 5 people from a particular local area who are part of the wider ACT. These teams organize, facilitate and coordinate the BOLD Gatherings that happen in their local area. These teams can be the groups that you have begun to work in today. BOLD Teams are responsible for: •

Planning BOLD Gatherings

•

Inviting People to Participate in BOLD Gatherings

•

Hosting and Facilitating the BOLD Gathering

•

Following Up with BOLD Gathering Participants

•

Communicating with ACT Team Organizers

Today you will have the opportunity to launch your team by articulating your purpose, determining norms and assigning roles.

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Three Team Essentials 1. Purpose A purpose reflects the team’s common interests and shared values to define what the team hopes to accomplish. A good purpose is clear, consequential, and challenging. Goals should be both challenging and attainable. Goals to set include: •

# of BOLD Gatherings Hosted

•

# of Reconciling United Methodist Cards Signed

•

# of Stories Shared

•

$ Raised in Monthly Pledges

The purpose of each BOLD Team is to  grow the Reconciling Movement through  BOLD Gatherings. At each Gathering,  people have the opportunity to Become a  Bold who:  • commits to RMN  • shares their story and   • pledges to the campaign.   While the national campaign has goals  for the movement, each team will  set  their own goals depending on their  context, strengths and ability. 

2. Roles Roles are the team responsibilities that each person accepts. Roles define interdependent team tasks and clarify the team’s composition Each team needs to adapt the suggested roles to their own gifts and graces. Suggested key roles for BOLD Teams include: (please note detailed job description found on pg. 34) •

Team Organizer

•

Hospitality Coordinator

•

Communications Coordinator

•

Team Coach

3. Norms Norms are the mutual expectations and accountability structure of a team. Good team norms are bounded, stable, and create accountability to one another Some examples of norms include: •

We will always be on time.

•

We will always ask for help if we need it.

•

We will never be disrespectful when working together.

•

We will never be absent without notifying someone else on the team.

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Team Work 3: Creating a Team Goals The purpose of this exercise is to help you to turn your common interests into a shared understanding of (1) your purpose as a team; (2) whom you are organizing; (3) what kind of work you will do as a team; (4) the roles you will play; and (5) the norms you will establish to work together to accomplish your shared purpose. So you will (1) Articulate your team’s purpose; (2) Identify the roles each person is willing to commit to; and (3) Identify the norms you will observe.

Agenda TOTAL TIME: 20 min. 1. Review goals and agenda, appoint a time-keeper and note-taker.

1 min

2. Articulate your team purpose (Team Exercise One)

5 min

3. Select roles each person will play (Team Exercise Two)

5 min

4. Generate several team norms (Team Exercise Three)

10 min

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Work Sheet 3: Launching Your Team Team Exercise One: Team Purpose Our team will provide leadership to organize our constituency in: ____________________________ __________________________________ (congregation or local area name) We will invite others to Believe Out Loud by: Sponsoring a BOLD Gathering where we can share our stories, our values and our passions. Mobilizing 12 BOLDs at each Gathering to: -

Commit to signing up as a Reconciling United Methodist Share their story with at least 2 other people Pledge a monthly donation to the Believe Out Loud Campaign

Following up with the BOLD participants to reach our team goal of: ________ (#) of BOLD Gatherings Hosted ________ (#) of Reconciling United Methodist Cards Signed ________ (#) of Stories Shared ________ ($) in Monthly Pledges Raised

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Team Exercise Two: Team Roles TEAM ROLES 1. Each person will go around the circle and tell others what experience and talents they have, and what they would like to do. (1 minute per person.) 2. Discuss roles listed below as well as strengths needed – make assignments based on interests and talents.

ORGANIZING TEAM ROLES, RESPONSIBILITIES & RESOURCES Role

Responsibilities

Do you have these strengths?

Responsible for overall leadership of the team. Point-person for communicating with the Annual Conference Organizers and your National Trainer. Sets meeting times, agendas, and facilitates meetings. Oversees collective decision-making process.

Organizational skill, relational, ability to connect big picture with daily tasks and tactics, connectivity, group facilitation, tracking progress, balance multiple team goals. Can motivate self and others

Hospitality Coordinator

Coordinate sending invitations to people to come to the BOLD Gathering, coordinate follow up calls to confirm participation. Recruit additional Gathering hosts if needed. Provides for refreshments at the Gathering.

Strong relational skills, willing to ask for commitment to come to the BOLD Gathering, enjoys engaging, empowering and recruiting others, telling the story of Reconciling in small and mid-size groups

Communication Coordinator

Coordinates team communication. Sends out frequent updates to the team to share progress toward the team’s goals and the national campaign’s goals. Keeps track of all commitments: RUM cards, stories shared, pledges made.

Creative, strong writing, communication and presentation skills. Strong organizational and administrative skills. May be computer savvy (or can recruit someone who is)

Team Coach

Follows up with all BOLDs to encourage, support and coach them to keep their commitments. Reports to the communication coordinator all the commitments made and kept.

Strong relational skills, enjoys talking to others, is hopeful and encouraging.

** Team Organizer

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RECORD HERE WHO WILL TAKE WHAT ROLE: ROLE

NAME

Team Organizer Hospitality Coordinator Communication Coordinator Team Coach

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Work Sheet: Launching Your Team Team Exercise Three: Team Norms TEAM NORMS 1. 2.

Switch scribe/facilitators. Brainstorm norms for meetings/discussion, following through on commitments, communicating and coordinating in categories of always do/never do. For each type of norm, choose one and identify a way to self-correct.

RECORD NORMS HERE

Meetings/Group Discussion What we will always do:

What we will never do:

Following Through on Commitments What we will always do:

What we will never do:

Communication/Coordination What we will always do:

What we will never do:

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Devising Strategy Just as a good story gives our actions meaning by transforming us into participants in a powerful narrative, strategy gives individual tactics (action steps) meaning by transforming them from isolated events into steps on the road to our goal. In organizing, our strategy and story are not only how we persuade ourselves that a particular course of action is worth the risk, but also how we mobilize others without whose participation there would be no action at all. Strategy is a plan of action for how we will mobilize the resources  we have, to build the power we need, to live out the change we  want to see – which is our goal.  

Strategy answers three key questions: 1. WHO? This is a question of who is involved in the campaign. •

Who do we want to impact?

•

Who do we want to engage?

•

Who do we want to participate?

2. WHEN? This is a question of how we sequence the events of the campaign. •

When do we begin?

•

When do we end?

•

When do we take action?

3. HOW? This is a question of the specific tactics we take in order to accomplish our goals. •

What will happen?

•

Where will it happen?

•

When will it happen?

•

Who is responsible?

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Generating a Successful Strategy Strategy is motivated We strategize in response to urgent challenges or unusual opportunities to turn our goals into specific outcomes. Ask yourselves: •

How will the world be different if we choose to take action? What happens if we don’t?

•

What opportunities exist in our church, community, and relationships that can help us accomplish this goal now?

Strategy is creative Challenging the status quo requires drawing on our native resources and expanding them. •

What resources do you have within your team and congregation: Human? Financial? Organizational?

Strategy is a verb Strategy is something we do, not a noun or something we have. As we work toward our outcome, we learn from our successes and failures to adapt our tactics to become more effective. •

How will your team evaluate your work throughout the campaign?

•

How will you adapt to challenges along the way?

Strategy unfolds over time Organizers set aside discrete periods of time - campaigns - where focused action can take place, enabling people to reach a particular goal by a particular point in time.

•

What is your teams’ timeline for completing the campaign actions?

Strategy embodies values It is in the way that we pursue our goals that most deeply expresses our values. Key questions for assessing strategy and tactics for this campaign: •

Does the strategy and tactic embody community by telling and creating a public narrative?

•

Does the strategy and tactic embody inclusion by ensuring that all members are personally asked to participate?

•

Does the strategy and tactic embody care by producing a tangible, measurable outcome – a collective gift – that helps to create a fully inclusive church?

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Strategy for Believe Out Loud To reach of goal of mobilizing Reconciling United Methodists across the nation to grow the movement, share our stories and create change, one person at a time, the Believe Out Loud strategy includes three primary tactics:

1. Host BOLD Discipleship Gatherings This campaign will mobilize Reconciling United Methodists in small local/district/regional groups to share their stories, commit to the movement and pledge to make a difference. Each gathering will invite 12 new disciples to become part of the Reconciling Ministries Network.

2. Share Our Stories Understanding that people don’t change until they know people’s stories, we gather to tell our stories in order that we might transform hearts and minds and grow the Reconciling movement. At each BOLD Gathering, participants tell their own stories and also listen to the stories of others.

3. Commit to the Movement BOLD Discipleship groups pledge to commit to Reconciling Ministries Network, share their stories, and donate to the campaign so that we might reach all of the United States General Conference delegates by 2012.

Believe Out Loud Disciples will be asked to: •

Commit – Sign a Reconciling United Methodist (RUM) card.  

•

Share – Tell their story to at least two other people and ask them  to join the movement.  

•

Pledge – Donate a monthly contribution to the Reconciling  Ministries Network 

Remember: Strategy Embodies Value Value Community Inclusion Care

Strategy Telling a public narrative. Personally asking people to participate. A collective campaign that grows the movement, shares our stories, and creates change in our church, one person at a time!

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BOLD Gatherings BOLD Gatherings are a relational tool that allow us to make use of networks to build a constituency for social change, to mobilize people to action, and to form new relationships by inviting people into a shared experience.

For more detailed information, see the Appendix – page 45.

Step One: Finding a BOLD Gathering host • For a BOLD Gathering, the organizers first need to find someone to host the gathering. This may be someone on your team or someone from your congregation, community or annual conference. • The host is responsible for hosting the Gathering either at their home, church or other suitable location and working with the planning team to invite folks to the Gathering.

Step Two: Inviting people to the BOLD Gathering • Inviting people to the BOLD Gathering and getting their commitment to attend is a critical step in hosting a successful meeting. • Twelve people is a good number for a BOLD gathering. Like the first 12 disciples, we are called to go into the world in mission. To get this many attendees, you will need to invite twice that many (20-25 people). • First, people are most likely to attend if you invite them individually and personally. Second, for all those who agreed to attend, follow up with a reminder call 2-3 days before the BOLD Gathering.

Step Three: Holding a BOLD Gathering • The format of each Gathering is flexible, but should include a welcome, an introduction to the Believe Out Loud Campaign, story sharing, a time to commit to the movement and a closing prayer. • You can be creative – including a video or pictures that relate to Reconciling, hosting a meal, or including a simple Reconciling liturgy at the beginning or end of the meeting.

Step Four: Reporting back • At the end of the meeting, the host and organizer should have gathered a RUM card from every person at the meeting. They are responsible for reporting their success to the ACT Team Leaders to be included in the national campaign progress.

Step Five: Following Up • After the BOLD Gathering, the organizing team should send hand written thank you notes to each participant and call them to follow up on the commitments they made at the meeting. For more detailed information, see the Appendix.

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Team Work 4: Strategizing Goals: One goal for this session is to apply the campaign strategy and tactics to your BOLD small group, mapping out steps you will take as a team during each phase of the campaign, and deciding who on your team will be responsible for each step. The second goal is to schedule your first BOLD Gathering – identifying a host, location, and date so that you can begin to invite people to that meeting and launch the campaign in your community.

Agenda TOTAL TIME: 25 Minutes 1. Meet in your 4 person teams. Review the agenda and allocate time to accomplish the two goals.

2 min

2. Recruit a BOLD Gathering host. Establish time, date, and location. Brainstorm who would be a good host for your local area. Make a list and assign one person the task of calling and recruiting one person to host the Gathering.

5 min

3. Complete your team calendar. For each phase, brainstorm the activities that need to happen in order to reach that phase’s goal. Allocate the activities among team members by role. Identify when and how often your team will meet to continue these plans.

18 min

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BOL Planning Calendar Step

Step One: Recruit Host

Actions Needed

1. 2.

Weeks 1 - 3 3. 4.

Step Two: Inviting People

1. 2.

Weeks 2- 5 3. 4.

Step Three and Four: BOLD Gathering and Reporting Back

1. 2. 3.

Weeks 6 - 8 4.

Step Five: Following Up and Celebrating

1.

Weeks 7 - 12

3.

2.

4.

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Responsible Team Member(s)

Target Completion Date

Mobilizing Constituencies: Action So now we get into action – mobilizing resources (including ourselves) and deploying them to change the world. This brings everything we’ve been working on together. We have articulated our shared values, defined our common interests, devised strategy to act on those interests, so now we need to motivate others to join us in that strategy by turning it into a call for action, focusing on the specific choices we are asking others to make, the specific commitments we need from them . . . and from ourselves. Remember the third part of a public narrative….the story of now. This is where we narrate a compelling story of why taking these actions – committing, sharing, pledging – are important in our marathon movement for a fully inclusive church. This should sound familiar. There’s a challenge, but instead of being in the past, it’s in the present. There’s hope, but instead of something that happened in the past, it’s in the future. And there’s a choice, but instead of being a choice we once made, it’s a choice we must make now. And that’s why it’s a “story of now.” At each BOLD Gathering you will need to narrate a story that brings together everyone’s individual story into a story of us and leads them as a group to the story of now…to ACTION! Please note that for your training you will have items to facilitate this work, including a video provided by RMN about the work that we do. This video, alongside your personal narrative, will create a holistic story of the action needed now to continue our work.

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Team Work 5: Mobilizing Constituencies Goals: The goal of this session is to run a mini-BOLD Gathering, ending with the commitment of each member of your core team to sign a RUM card, share their story with someone else, and pledge to the BOL campaign – your first commitments toward your team’s goal. The BOLD Gathering will also provide an opportunity to practice the art of public narrative – all participants will share a brief story in the rounds. The team organizer will tell his/her story of self, the story of this group, and the story of the campaign actions to which we are called.

Agenda TOTAL TIME: 30 Minutes 1. Gather in your team of 4. Assign roles for the house meeting 2 min Host – a member of the leadership team Organizer – your Constituency outreach Captain Participants – the rest of your team (one should serve as timekeeper) 2. Review the house meeting agenda.

3 min

3. Run the BOLD Gathering.

20 min

4. De-brief and Evaluate how your meeting went.

5 min

Sample agenda A) Introduction and purpose of the meeting – Host

2 min

B) Rounds – each person spends 1 minute sharing Describe a time you witnessed, learned about, or experienced the importance of RMN.

5 min

C) Story of the BOL Campaign – Organizer

5 min

D) Ask for commitment to commit, share, pledge – Organizer

5 min

E) Closing – Organizer

2 min Page 43 of 63

Appendices

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Five-Year Called to Witness Overview: Creating Change One Person at a Time Called to Witness is a five year strategic plan to equip, encourage and empower Reconciling volunteers across annual conferences as they build relationships across ideological and theological divides. Called to Witness is predicated on the understanding that people don’t change their minds, until they know people’s stories. By reaching out and building relationships we will create change one person at a time! This campaign strengthens the overarching missional goals for Reconciling Ministries Network: 1. 2. 3.

To strengthen and empower our Reconciling Constituency. To create Annual Conference Teams (A.C.T.) To increase the number of Reconciling Congregations.

Timeline: 2007-2008

CTW 1: Called to Witness 1 National Trainer 22 Annual Conferences 500 Volunteers

2008-2009

CTW 2: All Means All 6 National Trainers 35 Annual Conferences 750 Volunteers

2009-2010

CTW 3: Believe Out Loud 12 National Trainers 50 Annual Conferences 1000 Volunteers

2010-2011

CTW 4: 15 National Trainers 60 Annual Conferences 1250 Volunteers

2011-2012

CTW 5: 20 National Trainers 62 Annual Conferences 1500 Volunteers

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What We Have Already Accomplished! (Called to Witness Past Campaigns) In 2007 and 2008, leading up to General Conference the inaugural Called to Witness campaign: • • • •

Organized 22 Annual Conferences Trained 501 Reconciling Volunteers Sponsored 20 Group Meetings with General Conference Delegations Facilitated 453 General Conference delegate contacts o 200 personal meetings o 253 individual letters

Volunteers served as missionaries to their General Conference delegates, building relationships, telling their personal stories and urging delegates to vote for the full inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) persons at the 2008 General Conference. In 2008 and 2009, leading up to the Annual Conference vote on the All Means All Constitutional Amendment on Inclusiveness, the All Means All campaign: -

Organized 35 Annual Conferences Trained 1027 Reconciling Volunteers Sponsored District Forums Collected All Means All Declarations Facilitated One on One Meetings with Delegates to General and Annual Conference

Testimonies: “The delegate meeting was an invigorating experience for me. It felt wonderful to be part of a well organized group striving for human dignity in a cause that will ultimately prevail. Being a CTW volunteer is an opportunity of a lifetime.” - Dick Guldi, North Texas “Don’t ever underestimate how far our stories can reach and the effect they can have on others.” – Julie Arms, North Georgia

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BOLD Gatherings: Detailed Information BOLD Gatherings are a relational tool that allow us to make use of networks to build a constituency for social change, to mobilize people to action, and to form new relationships by inviting people into a shared experience.

Step One: Finding a BOLD Gathering host • For a BOLD Gathering, the organizer first holds a one on one meeting with someone he or she believes will enjoy forming relationships or engaging people about the urgent need to grow the Reconciling Movement. • Good hosts can be people with influence within the local area (a Sunday school teacher, a member of vestry, the choir director). They may also be less well-known members of the community who have a circle of friends and connections and will be persistent in inviting these and others to the meeting. • At that meeting, the person is asked to invite a number people to listen to and share stories of why Reconciling Ministries Network is important. The folks who come to the Gathering are our Believe Out Loud Disciples (BOLDs) and will be asked to:

• Commit – Sign a Reconciling United Methodist (RUM) card.   • Share – Tell their story to at least two other people and ask  them to join the movement.   • Pledge – Donate a monthly contribution to the Reconciling  Ministries Network

Step Two: Inviting people to the BOLD Gathering • Inviting people to the BOLD Gathering and getting their commitment to attend is a critical step in hosting a successful meeting. As part of this training, you have already put a lot into crafting your story about your own call to Reconciling, your community’s call, and the urgency of this campaign. But the story won’t do any good if there is no one there to hear it! • 12 people is a good number for a BOLD gathering. Like the first 12 disciples, we are called to go into the world in mission. To get this many attendees, you will need to invite twice that many (20-25 people). • First, people are most likely to attend if you invite them individually and personally. Make a list of people in your area who you think might be interested in attending a Reconciling event. Start with a phone call to everyone on your list, explaining the purpose of the BOLD Gathering and why you think they’d like to attend. Ask for their commitment to attending the meeting (or not attending, and find out why. Perhaps another date would be better or they have reasons not to participate – which you could follow up about at a later date). • Second, for all those who agreed to attend, follow up with a reminder call 2-3 days before the BOLD Gathering. Make sure everyone knows the time, location and purpose of the meeting. This will greatly increase the likelihood that everyone who committed to attend, follows through.

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Step Three: Holding a BOLD Gathering The format of each Gathering is flexible, but the following elements are core to any meeting. You can be creative – including a video or pictures that relate to Reconciling, hosting a meal, or including a simple Reconciling liturgy at the beginning or end of the meeting.

ELEMENTS OF A BOLD GATHERING 1) BOLD host thanks people for attending and shares why he/she invited them there. He/she may share why she is participating in the Believe Out Loud campaign. 2) The organizer communicates the core purpose of the evening: to introduce the Believe Out Loud campaign and ask for each person’s commitment to participate. 3) Rounds: introduction of all guests to each other. The host and organizer will want to craft a rounds question that encourages each person to share part of their own stories and the congregation’s story – why does Reconciling Ministries Network matter to them? Sample rounds questions: • When did you first realize that work needed to be done so LGBT persons feel welcome in the United Methodist Church? • Why is a fully inclusive church important 4) The organizer shares his or her own story and connects the stories shared to the story of this campaign • The organizer’s story of self • The story of us – our local/district/regional community – the challenge and opportunity we now have with the Believe Out Loud Campaign • The story of now – what action we can take together to create a fully inclusive church by telling our stories one person at time and how the future will be different if we do. 5) The organizer asks for each person’s commitment to participate in the campaign both spoken and with pledge cards. 6) Close the meeting (prayer, brief liturgy) 7) Follow up by calling each of the participants and coaching them as they tell their stories to others.

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Step Four: Reporting back At the end of the meeting, the host and organizer should have gathered a pledge card from every person at the meeting and can make a tally of how many people attended and who committed to participating in the campaign. It should be clear which team member is following up with each person who attended. Please note that for those wanting to sign up via credit card – they can simply check the box and include their phone number. Someone from RMN will then call to get their credit card information in a secure fashion. Sample BOLD report: Invited

Attended

Signed Pledge?

Gave at meeting

Who will follow up?

John Brown

Yes

Yes

Yes

Jim Red

Julia Green

Yes

Yes

No

Joan Orange

Step Five: Following Up After the BOLD Gathering, the team coach assisted by other members of the team will continue to coach and follow up with BOLD Gathering participants to empower them to keep the commitments they made to the campaign. •

Send personal thank you cards to each of the BOLD Disciples thanking them for coming and reminding them of the commitments they made.

•

Send weekly email team updates to everyone at the meeting to celebrate team progress and encourage team members to continue.

•

Make follow up phone calls twice to every BOLD participant, once one week after the BOLD Gathering and again two weeks later.

•

Report the success of the BOLD Gathering to the National Trainer.

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Relationships in Organizing By Marshall Ganz What Are Relationships? How many of you have ever had a relationship? The fact is, of course, that relationship building is a part of our daily lives, something we are all “experts” on. While true, this fact points to a challenge in learning organizing. Because organizing is about working with people, we revisit many of our day to day activities, such as meeting new people, but from an analytic perspective: what’s really going on here, why does this work better than that, how can we become more strategically intentional about the relationships we form and can how we best go about forming them? One way to look at relationships is as exchanges illustrated in Relationship Chart #1. We each have interests and resources. Our interests are diverse, rooted in distinct domains: work, family, faith, recreation, public life, etc. And so are our resources: skills, time, experience, wealth, etc. Because we live in an interdependent world, most of us cannot address our interests without drawing upon the resources of others, just as others require our

resources to address their interests. This motivates the “exchange” of interests and resources at the center of any relationship. This also makes the point that relationships are as much about difference as about commonality – because difference is what fuels the exchanges that give the relationship purpose. But a relationship is more than an exchange. A relationship implies a future and assumes a past. A conversation over coffee contributes to a relationship only if there are more conversations. The moment of truth comes at the end of the conversation when one of you, pulling out your schedule, may suggest that you get together again and the other has to decide whether to pull out their schedule as well. If each of you commits some portion of your time – to further conversation, you have the beginning of a relationship. If not, you don’t. It is that conscious

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choice, the commitment of your most precious resource, your time, that gives the relationship life, a future. So relationships don’t just “happen” – they grow out of a series of choices we make to commit resources to them, sustain them, and, at times, repair them. This commitment to a shared future – and the consequences of a shared past – transforms an exchange into a relationship. Relationships have another dimension as well because we are more than the sum of our interests, resources, and commitments. Like our relationships, we have a past, live in the present, and anticipate a future. How do you respond if someone asks “who are you?” Most of us are puzzled at first because we are many things and don’t understand what the other person wants to know. Then we usually begin listing categories to which we belong – I’m a student, I’m a man, I’m a woman, I’m a runner, etc. However, many categories we list, however, we are still likely to find others in exactly the same box. So . . . who are YOU? What is it that is utterly unique about each of us? It is not the categories that describe us but the journey we have made – and are making. And the way we can recount this journey is as a story, our story. And it is this story we tell about our journey that defines who we are, our unique identity. So does that mean that every time someone asks us who we are we pull out a kind of chronology in which we go back to our grandparents, parents, our first birthday party, etc.? No. Because that’s not a story – it’s a list. Our story takes shape about the choice points that have shaped our lives – challenges we, or our parents, faced; how we chose to handle those challenges; and what we learned as a result of the outcomes. So if we want to learn the story of another – or tell our own – we focus on choice points. And what else can we communicate about ourselves by telling a story of choices we have made? What does a choice reveal? It reveals the value we place on one path over another. It is one thing to list our values, but quite another to allow others to observe our values based on real choices we have made in our lives. So a new relationship is not only an exchange of resources, not only a commitment to continue that exchange, but , because it is a choice, it is also the beginning of a new “story” – the telling of which is the result of our collaboration.

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How We Create Relationships Building Relationships: Creating Social Capital Relationships are beginnings, not endings. Unlike the contracts we make to protect our interests, relationships are open-ended, creating opportunity for our interests to grow, change, and develop. Our interests may change as our interaction with others reveals new interests of which we had not been aware. For example, “Hmm...Before we talked I didn’t realize I really wanted to be a doctor, but now...” We also may discover common interests of which we were unaware. As you remember from the skills workshop, we may find shared interests in music, in movies, or in doing something about the dining hall service. Most importantly, we begin to develop an interest in the relationship itself. To the extent we hope to preserve the relationship we must do lots of work to sustain it. Just as the relationship becomes a source of new “interests,” it can also become a new source of resources. We may discover new exchanges for our individual interests and resources. “I’ll help you with your problem sets if you help me with my literature essay.” Relationships may facilitate development of common resources. “Why don’t we pool our funds to hire a tutor to work with both of us?” Most importantly the relationship itself can become a resource on which we both can draw. New relationships construct new interests and new resources making them what Robert Putnam calls “social capital” – a source of “power to” which simply didn’t exist before. This capacity or “social capital” explains why strongly “relational” communities are capable of collaborative action of all kinds. This emphasis on relationships, especially relationships among members, is the key building block of a civic association, a “voice” organization, distinguishing it from groups focused on providing services to the clients instead of relationship building.

How do we really create a relationship: Five Stages • First, we must catch each other’s attention. If I call up a minister to set up a meeting, it will help “get his attention” if I tell him someone he knows referred me. If I’m calling a potential volunteer on the phone, it will be important for me to use their name and explain how I got it. We may also be related to a common institution. Or, across a room full of people, we may just make eye contact. • Once we have gotten each other’s attention, we need to establish an interest in having a conversation. I may mention to the minister, for example, how I was told he was interested in doing something about domestic violence in his parish and that’s what I’d like his advice on. Or, I was told he is the key person from whom to get advice about what is really going on in the parish. Or, since we both happen to be taking the same class, maybe we should talk about how we can help each other.

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• Then comes exploration - asking and answering each other’s questions, of probing for areas of common interest, of testing whether the other has anything to contribute to us, and whether we have anything to contribute to the other. The key here is learning to ask good questions, especially why a person has made the choices they made, moments that reveal values and interests that really count. Why did you go to school here rather than there? Why did you study this rather than that? Why did you decide to emigrate rather than remain at home? And as we begin learning each other’s answers to these questions, we learn more about each other, what moves us, and what we have to contribute. • As a result of our exploration, we may make exchanges – not just in the future, but then and there within the conversation. We may turn out to be a good listener for someone who needs listening. We may find we are learning a great deal from our interaction with the other person. We may find we have an opportunity to offer another person some insight, support, or recognition that they find valuable. We may find we can challenge the other person in ways that may bring them new insight. We may also discover a basis for future “exchanges” – such as going to see a movie we both want to see, deciding to come to a meeting the other has told us about, taking responsibility to help pass out some leaflets, or just deciding to have another conversation. • Finally, if we’ve determined a basis may exist for a relationship, we make a commitment to the relationship by agreeing to meet again, have coffee, come to the meeting, send emails, etc. What turns the exchange into a relationship is the commitment we make to each other and to the relationship. People often make the mistake of trying to go right to a commitment without laying a relational basis for it first.

© Marshall Ganz, Kennedy School of Government, 2006

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Creating a Culture of Commitment * Adapted from Sierra Club, Leadership Development Program One of the great challenges leaders face is learning how to establish the team direction and then to ask for – and get – commitments from each other to work to reach shared goals. But our responsibility as leaders does not end with making or securing a commitment. As leaders, we are responsible for creating and maintaining a culture in which commitments are made and kept.

Why is Commitment to a Team Important? Once we decide on the shared outcomes we want to produce, we need to organize people to take specific actions that will produce these outcomes. As a team, we have to take on and delegate responsibilities for certain outcomes. We have to commit our resources and ask others to commit resources to ensure that these outcomes are achieved. There is a big difference between putting the word out about a meeting and getting commitments from people to attend. Unless we ask for and obtain commitments to attend, meeting attendance will be a “crap shoot.” It takes courage, training, and dedication to develop a team of leaders who are not afraid to ask for and get commitments. Without this, the “action” will remain always just a little out of reach.

How do we Create a Culture of Team Commitment? There are several conditions that you can put into place to increase commitment to the team – many of these are the same conditions we talked about regarding team effectiveness.

Creating Commitments 9 Set shared goals. If team members agree upon shared goals, they are more likely to be committed to achieving those goals. Remember, one of the five essential conditions for an effective team is a clear, engaging direction. 9 Establish team interdependence. Commit to work that can only happen if multiple people work together. Have collective responsibilities that you deliver on. This is a way to accomplish big things that no one individual can accomplish alone. 9 Set clear expectations. You have to be clear about what you are asking someone to do. 9 Establish group standards. Set norms of operation and reinforce them the first time they are violated. A norm needs to be corrected, or you have lost it. If failing to follow the established group standards is allowed, that behavior becomes the new norm.

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Making Commitments Stick ¾ Feedback. When someone makes a commitment, they need to hear from those they’ve committed to. They need to see that someone else notices. Continually measure progress of individuals within the team, and of the team itself. ¾ Reflection. Allow team members to evaluate one another, increasing peer pressure to contribute to the team's work. ¾ Recognition. Recognize people who do good work. Recognize when commitments have been met in order to reinforce them. ¾ Accountability. There must be some consequence for not keeping commitments. One way to say it is, “Something must happen if nothing happens”.

Creating Accountability There are three basic levels of accountability that must be achieved for team accountability to work: • Personal responsibility. Individual team members must feel a sense of personal responsibility for the team's work. This feeling results from acceptance of team membership by the individual. • Accountability to other team members. Within the team, accountability for individual actions is crucial. Team members must hold one another accountable. When one person contributes a great deal, he or she should be recognized, and when another fails to contribute, he or she should answer for that. • Accountability to outsiders. Everyone outside of the team should view the team as one entity. When the team acts, others should be able to ask any team member to answer for that action. An emphasis on individual accountability to outsiders can work against teamwork because it unlinks the fate of team members. Achieving all three levels of accountability is a challenge. It is a challenge that can be met, however, if you take the time to put the proper conditions in place: • • • • • • •

Clearly define the team's goals Establish interdependence in the team's work Clearly communicate what is expected of the team Set team standards Reward the team as a team Continually measure progress of individuals within the team, and of the team within the organization Allow team members to evaluate one another, thus increasing peer pressure to contribute to the team's work

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How Can I Help my Team Members Increase their Commitment? Lead your team in a conversation about commitment by having them answer the questions below. Use the Team Assessment Survey to find out where the team should focus its efforts to improve members’ personal commitment to the team.

STEP 1: The challenge of asking for a commitment ƒ

Why are we reticent to ask for commitments?

STEP 2: The impacts of not keeping the commitments we make ƒ

Why does commitment matter to you as an individual? What is at stake?

ƒ

Why does commitment matter to your team? What is at stake?

STEP 3: Team Assessment Survey ƒ

What signs are you seeing in your team of a lack of commitment?

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STEP 4: Team Assessment Survey Ask everyone to agree upon a team score for each question:

Creating a Culture of Commitment to the Team

Low Evidence

Some Evidence

High Evidence

1. Everyone can clearly state the team’s goals

1

2

3

4

5

2. Everyone is working toward the team’s goals

1

2

3

4

5

3. Everyone is clear on their individual assignments

1

2

3

4

5

4. Members work together to accomplish the team’s goals

1

2

3

4

5

5. The team operates by a set of agreed upon procedures

1

2

3

4

5

6. The team acts to correct violations of group procedures

1

2

3

4

5

Making a Personal Commitments Stick

Low Evidence

Some Evidence

High Evidence

7. We continually measure team and individual progress

1

2

3

4

5

8. We regularly reflect on our team’s performance

1

2

3

4

5

9. Team members provide feedback to one another

1

2

3

4

5

10. Teamwork is rewarded on this team

1

2

3

4

5

11. Our team recognizes when commitments have been met

1

2

3

4

5

12. We renegotiate commitments when needed

1

2

3

4

5

STEP 5: Creating a culture of commitment ƒ

Based on the results of your Team Assessment Survey, where should the team focus its efforts to improve members’ personal commitment to the team?

ƒ

What specific steps can you take in your team to create and maintain a culture in which commitments are made and kept?

ƒ

What barriers will you face in implementing these actions? How will you overcome these challenges?

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Reconciling Annual Conference Teams: Annual Conference Teams After the Believe Out Loud Campaign Each Annual Conference has a unique culture and character; therefore, not all AC Teams will be identical. Structure, roles, planned activities, frequency of meetings and appropriate political actions will differ, but some general suggestions and best practices are included below to help teams envision the possibilities. •

Pray and worship with one another

•

Play together by meeting for meals, social gatherings or community events

•

Communicate with Annual Conference leaders, United Methodists, and prospective Reconciling communities,

•

Connect the national movement and local RUMs by reporting successes and upcoming plans to RMN and by sharing Reconciling opportunities and resources with members of the ACT.

•

Plan events, campaigns, and strategic actions in churches, the annual conference, and Methodist connection.

•

Respond to current events from the local area, national LGBT movement and The United Methodist Church.

Tactics and Action Ideas Pray –Host a lunch time or early morning communion at Annual Conference, Sponsor a regional or district reconciling worship service Create a prayer chain, by email, blog, twitter or phone Play – Host or plan a meal at annual conference Plan a meal, potluck, picnic, or reception for Reconciling United Methodists Sponsor a joint gathering with COSROW (Commission on the Status and Role of Women), BMCR (Black Methodists for Church Renewal), MARCHA (Metodistas Asociados Represntando la Causa de los Hispano-Americanos) or other groups Communicate – Meet regularly – some meet monthly, quarterly, or just bi-annually (AC plus one meeting) Advertise Reconciling (Welcoming and Affirming) Churches Support reconciling Campus Ministries Host a blog – written by several RUMs or members of the team Host and update a website (see below for examples) Connect – Newsletters, email groups, and systems of communication build team cohesion Attend programs, concerts, and activities of other supportive congregations Report activities and plans to the RMN office Mentor young clergy and lay movement leaders Page 58 of 63

Plan – Distribute stoles, buttons, brochures and materials, Education events like bible studies, lectures, films, discussions, Participate in ecumenical coalitions Recruit new Reconciling United Methodists (RUMs) Cultivate new Reconciling Congregations / Communities / Campus Ministries Participate in Called to Witness campaigns Respond – to secular and church current events Help churches through a Reconciling process Plan a lobby day for marriage equality, gender inclusive anti-discrimination policies, etc. Political (secular) lobby work, petitions etc. Write Annual Conference resolutions and General conference petitions

Reconciling Annual Conference Teams: Some Websites B‐WARM: Baltimore‐Washington Area Reconciling Methodists    

http://bwarm.org/ 

Breaking the Silence, Texas Annual Conference    http://www.geocities.com/btstxcumc/  Upstate NY Reconciling Ministries Network     

http://www.unyrmn.org/  

OI RUMs: Oregon‐Idaho Annual Conference Reconciling United Methodists     http://www.oirums.org/  Pacific Northwest  Reconciling Ministries Network   

http://opentoyou.org/ 

Reconciling Kansas / Kansas Reconciling U.M.s     http://community‐2.webtv.net/reconcilingkans/RK/  MIND: Methodists In New Directions, New York Annual Conference    http://www.parkslopeumc.org/docs/faith‐in‐action/MIND.html  California –Nevada Annual Conference Committee on Reconciliation   http://www.cnumc.org/page.asp?PKValue=1200 

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Resources from Reconciling Ministries Network And God Loves Each One, by Ann Thompson Cook, Reconciling Ministries Network. Dios Nos Ama Por Igual, Spanish Edition of And God Loves Each On, by Ann Thompson Cook, Reconciling Ministries Network. Claiming the Promise An Ecumenical Welcoming Bible Study on Homosexuality; Editor: Mary Jo Osterman Holy Conversations: Talking About Homosexuality by Karen P. Oliveto, Kelly D. Turney, Traci C. West Made In God’s Image: A Resource for Dialogue About the Church and Gender Differences, by Ann Thompson Cook. 2003, Reconciling Ministries Network. Shaping Sanctuary: Proclaiming God’s Grace In An Inclusive Church Editor: Kelly Turney Voices from the Kingdom: All God’s Children Have Keys by Beverly Cole

Books Alexander, Marilyn Bennet, and Preston, James, We Were Baptized Too: Claiming God’s Grace for Lesbians and Gays, [Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1996] Bess, Howard H., Pastor, I Am Gay, [Palmer, Alaska: Palmer Publishing Company, 1995] DeLong, Amy & Sample, Tex, eds., The Loyal Opposition: Struggling with the Church on Homosexuality, [Abingdon Press, 2000] Dinovo, Cheri, Que(e)rying Evangelism: Growing a Community from the Outside In, [Cleveland: Pilgrim Press, 2005] Gomes, Peter J., The Good Book: Reading the Bible with Mind and Heart , [San Francisco: Harper SanFrancisco, 2002] Helminiak, Daniel A. & Spong, John Shelby, What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality, [San Antonio, TX: Alamo Square Press, 2000] Jennings, Theodore W., Jr., The Man Jesus Loved: Homoerotic Narratives from the New Testament, [Cleveland: Pilgrim Press, 2003] Miner, Jeff and John Tyler Connoley, The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-Sex Relationships, [Jesus Metropolitan Community Church, 2002] Mollenkott, Virginia Ramey, Omnigender: A Trans-Religious Approach, [Pilgrim Press, 2001] Page 60 of 63

Paulsell, William, editor, Listening to the Spirit: A Handbook for Discernment, [Chalice, 2001] Rogers, Jack, Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church, [Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2006] Scroggs, Robin, The New Testament and Homosexuality: Contextual Background for Contemporary Debate, [Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress Press, 1983] Spong, John Shelby, Living in Sin? A Bishop Rethinks Human Sexuality, [HarperSanFrancisco, 1990] Wink, Walter, ed., Homosexuality and Christian Faith: Questions of Conscience for the Churches, [Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress Press, 1999]

Videos Reconciling Voices, [RMN, 2008] Can We Talk: Christian Conversations About Homosexuality [United Methodist Commission on Christian Unity and Interreligious Concerns (GCCUIC)] COMING OUT, COMING IN: Faith, Identity, and Belonging [Wildacres Leadership Initiative] God and Gays: Bridging the Gap, [Washington, DC: Human Rights Campaign, 2006] In God’s House: Asian American Lesbian and Gay Families in the Church [PANA]

Web Resources Believe Out Loud Campaign Website http://www.rmnwitness.org/ Human Rights Campaign Religion and Faith Program http://www.hrc.org Institute of Welcoming Resources http://www.welcomingresources.org/index.htm Reconciling Ministries Network http://www.rmnetwork.org

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Sample Thank You Note Thank you notes to the people with whom you meet should: • • • •

Express gratitude for their time and willingness to listen, State your common interests and passion, Thank them for taking one or more of the campaign actions, and Affirm your commitment to continuing the relationship.

Make sure to hand write all your correspondence. It adds a personal touch and fosters a deeper relationship.

Dear __________________, Grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus Christ! Thank you for taking time to meet with me and to discuss our mutual passion for a fully inclusive church. It is good to know that we share a love for the Church and a desire to proclaim the Gospel. I was glad to find out that you, like me, share an interest in welcoming all people to church and share a commitment to hospitality and inclusiveness in the name of Jesus. Thank you so very much for signing the Reconciling United Methodist card and agreeing to reach out to 3 people in your congregation. Your actions will grow our movement and help build the welcoming church for which we both long. I look forward to continuing to be in relationship with you as we work together to create a church where all are truly welcome!

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Contact Information National Field Organizer:

Reconciling Ministries Network

Rev. Tiffany Steinwert [email protected]

3801 N Keeler Avenue Chicago IL 60641 Phone: 773-736-5526 Fax: 773-736-5475 www.rmnetwork.org

1 Powderhouse Terrace 1F Somerville, MA 02144 617-372-1233 (cell)

National Trainers

Rev. Troy Plummer, Executive Director [email protected]

Michelle Blue [email protected]

Rachel Harvey, Associate Executive Director [email protected]

C. Kristian Clauser [email protected]

Carl Davis, Director of Development [email protected]

Rubén Castilla Herrera [email protected]

Audrey Krumbach, Field Organizer [email protected]

Katy Krumbach [email protected] Nehemiah Luckett [email protected] Jim Robey [email protected] Laura Rossbert [email protected] Gloria Soliz [email protected] Derrick Spiva [email protected] Eric Strader [email protected] Laura Young [email protected]

Called To Witness Campaign Website at www.rmnwitness.org

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