Argumentative Essay 34

Linkin Girdlestone Mrs. Cramer Comp Pd. 5A 30 November 2018 Living Together Who can you comfortably live with? This argument is debated about by an abundance of couples not only in the United States, but all over the globe. Is premarital cohabitation a worthwhile idea and should people commit to it? Is it healthy? The answer is undoubtedly yes! There are two sides of every debate and after weighing the pros and cons, the two main ideas that make premarital cohabitation worthwhile would be finance and happiness. These just so happen to be two of the arguably most important aspects of a relationship. The first argument commonly seen in this debate would be the idea of individual happiness between the people in the relationship and the people that may be involved. A poll done by USA Today’s Sharon Jayson gathered that the majority of married couples2 that had involvement in premarital cohabitation (57%), stated that living together before they were married helped their relationship. They stated that they were generally happier with their significant other and that the chance of divorce was deterred. They also claimed that the children involved in the cohabitational relationship were also affected positively. It is clear that this poll of one thousand relationships proves that the general consensus was positive towards premarital cohabitation. The people agreed that not only did it make them happier in general but also made children that predated the relationship more comfortable. The reasoning was that the children 1

The term bitter-sweet is an oxymoron that describes a pleasant but equally unpleasant relationship. 2 The use of married couples in this essay points towards ethos and the studies credibility. 3 The question is rhetorical because it is not supposed to be answered.

were able to gradually get to know the person that started to live with their parent. This boosted the trust the children had with the new coming person. This was vastly more efficient than waiting to live with the children until the two were married. In addition, the ideas of a study conducted by Michael D. Newcomb and Peter M. Bentler said out of 159 relationships, the majority said that premarital cohabitation also helped the relationship grow into a confident, trustworthy one. As compared to the normality of relationships, this study showed that the confidence not only helped within the relationship but within the personal lives of the people involved. People who were cohabitational before marriage were more willing to commit to activities and deeds, they wouldn’t have done with the newfound support that came with the happy relationship. Happiness is one of the most important aspects of a relationship but that’s not to say there are other important aspects of living with someone. Money for example, it can’t buy happiness, but it is still important. Most everyone has heard the term, “Money makes the world go ‘round” and it’s hardly disproven. This is especially true in the case of a relationship. This is where premarital cohabitation becomes instrumentally useful since you can use the relationship to test the water before a marital lifetime. Paul Goodman from Paired Life said it best when he wrote his article on premarital cohabitation when he said “Sharing the financial burdens is much easier with two of you in a household. Splitting the rent and living costs like energy bills makes life more affordable.” He brings up a good point that is not easily refuted. The reason being that it is much easier to keep track of how much you help between two different people with separate bank accounts and financial dependencies' than to try to see who is helping where in a marital relationship. Life itself isn’t necessarily easy, but living with someone may help. Premarital 1

The term bitter-sweet is an oxymoron that describes a pleasant but equally unpleasant relationship. 2 The use of married couples in this essay points towards ethos and the studies credibility. 3 The question is rhetorical because it is not supposed to be answered.

cohabitation lets people keep a separated life but also letting people rely on someone else if you fall behind on your own share of the lifestyle. Another example of how premarital cohabitation can help financially would be a point that the editors at Brides made. That it can test a person's significant others financial standards and their very own spending habits. This is extremely useful to determine whether or not the person in question is compatible in a relationship. If they have poor spending habits, then it can be assumed they will not change within a more serious relationship such as marriage. This will deter the possibility of divorce later on in the relationship and may save the time of the relationship. It can be agreed upon that one's personal life and financial life coexist. One of the most argued opposing viewpoints is that it is immoral and will eventually make the relationship “stale” as it is commonly referred as. It is argued that it will degrade the emotions of the people in the relationship if they live together before they are married to each other. However, most would disagree with this poorly made accusation. It may be taboo to certain people, but it can’t be denied that it is helpful to determine whether or not people will be happy. In fact, most people would say that they are generally happier than their previous relationships. This is true because they said that they felt less stress from the less taxing relationship. Marriage can make a newer couple that has not lived with each other more stressed. This is supported to the same study done by USA Today that took one thousand couples who cohabitated. Fifty-seven percent said that their relationship benefited in terms of happiness by living together before they were married. Another idea that may disprove the opposing argument is that if the relationship within the premarital cohabitation does fail, that it wouldn’t be too detrimental to each other's individual lives in comparison to being divorced after a failing 1

The term bitter-sweet is an oxymoron that describes a pleasant but equally unpleasant relationship. 2 The use of married couples in this essay points towards ethos and the studies credibility. 3 The question is rhetorical because it is not supposed to be answered.

relationship. In conclusion, the idea of a relationship being “stale” might be a sign of premarital cohabitation working. It would be a great way to avoid a rather bitter-sweet relationship.1 Giving up an independent and solo lifestyle can be hard for certain people. This can put a damper on happiness if that lifestyle is the only way of living that they are comfortable with. That being said living together can and will be a big step for certain relationships. That is what most people would tell you. The main argument that can be brought up to refute this idea is that marriage is also a big step towards a co-op lifestyle. If living together and working together can be eased into such as premarital cohabitation, it can prove to be beneficial to the mental health of someone who is not usually comfortable with the idea of living with another person or their significant other. Cohabitation is undeniably a big step but a necessary one when it is referring to a person or persons who isn’t ready for the commitment of marriage. The act and commitment of premarital cohabitation is overall a good idea. The pros outweigh the cons. Financially, skills in working together will be improved and money management can be improved as well. Emotionally, it can be determined that the people will be happier if they have lived with each other before they commit to marriage for the rest of their life. This idea of living together before marriage will help in the long run. Living together reduces risks of financial failure within the home and will boost the mood of most of the people involved in the relationship. Credit can be given to this ideology of living together before marriage to the happiness of the people involved and the continuity of their possible future marriage. Cohabitation is undoubtedly a great idea for any upcoming relationship that would like to test the waters before making their relationship serious. The question is, who would you live alone with?3 1

The term bitter-sweet is an oxymoron that describes a pleasant but equally unpleasant relationship. 2 The use of married couples in this essay points towards ethos and the studies credibility. 3 The question is rhetorical because it is not supposed to be answered.

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The term bitter-sweet is an oxymoron that describes a pleasant but equally unpleasant relationship. 2 The use of married couples in this essay points towards ethos and the studies credibility. 3 The question is rhetorical because it is not supposed to be answered.

Work Cited Michael D. Newcomb (1980). Cohabitation Before Marriage. Alternative Lifestyles, 3, 65-85. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF01083030 Paul Goodman (2017, April 21) The Pros and Cons of Living Together Before Marriage. Retrieved from https://pairedlife.com/relationships/The-Pros-and-Cons-of-Living-Together-BeforeMarriage

(2017, December 5) 5 Undeniable Benefits of Living Together Before Marriage https://www.brides.com/story/benefits-to-living-together-before-marriage

Sharon Jayson (2008, July 29) Cohabitation is Healthy http://go.galegroup.com/ps/retrieve.do?tabID=T004&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&searchResultsType= SingleTab&searchType=BasicSearchForm¤tPosition=2&docId=GALE%7CA181974988&docType=B rief+article&sort=RELEVANCESORT&contentSegment=&prodId=MSIC&contentSet=GALE%7CA181974988&searchId=R1&userGroupNa me=pl1949&inPS=true

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The term bitter-sweet is an oxymoron that describes a pleasant but equally unpleasant relationship. 2 The use of married couples in this essay points towards ethos and the studies credibility. 3 The question is rhetorical because it is not supposed to be answered.