April Fools Day

Outhsay Ainmay Onthlymay Olvay. 1, Onay. 4

Outhsay Ainmay Eakersspay, Istrictday 56, Ubclay 8609

Aprilway 2007

Ethay issionmay ofway ethay Oastmasterstay ubclay isway otay ovidepray away utuallymay upportivesay andway ositivepay earninglay environmentway inway ichwhay everyway embermay ashay ethay opportunityway otay evelopday ommunicationcay andway eadershiplay illsskay, ichwhay inway urntay osterfay elfsay-onfidencecay andway ersonalpay owthgray.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: To better serve and reflect the unique diversity of South Main Speakers, each issue of the South Main Monthly from now on will be published in a different language. In this inaugural issue, we have chosen Pig Latin, the second most widely spoken language in the U.S. (Spanish being the first). We hope that you will join us in embracing this new exciting direction for the newsletter. For the next South Main Monthly issue in May, you can look forward to reading the latest news and feature stories about your favorite Toastmasters club in Ebonics. Ankthay ouyay orfay eadingray! -Ivianvay Ilay, Editorway

INWAY ISTHAY ISSUEWAY: * Esidentpray's Ornercay * Anniversariesway andway Ilestonesmay Aichuntay Inqay Enayray Acobjay Evestay Ahamgray Ivekvay Ajanray * Alendarcay ofway Eventsway Easterway Olidayhay Ivisionday Q Eechspay Ontestscay * Eaturesfay “Easeplay Onday’t Ogay Awayway Intpray” ybay Enayray Acobjay “Estbay Everway Uffinsmay” ybay Obbay Uhay “Orminessstay Iftsshay Eastwardway” ybay Eiway Angzhay * Askway ethay Astermay Owhay otay eliverday away Umoroushay Eechspay?

Esidentpray’s Ornercay Adnessmay, ontestscay andway eadershiplay! Ybay Annieway M. Allatorebay, CTM "Away ittlelay adnessmay inway ethay ingspray isway olesomewhay evenway orfay ethay Ingkay". Iway indfay isthay otationquay omfray ethay oetpay Emilyway Ickinsonday itequay appropriateway asway ethay Outhsay Ainmay Eakersspay ickkay offway away ewnay onthmay. Ollowingfay ourway Aprilway Ools'fay Ayday aditiontray, eway illway owshay away ittlelay ernalvay adnessmay andway allengechay ourway indsmay andway imaginationsway ithway away Ackwardbay Eetingmay erewhay ethay eechspay evaluationsway omecay eforebay ethay eparedpray eechesspay. Ustjay aitway untilway ouyay earhay ethay abletay opicstay answersway eforebay ouyay evenway owknay ethay estionquay Ongratulationscay otay allway ourway ubclay embersmay owhay aisedray otay ethay allengechay andway articipatedpay inway ethay ifferentday areaway ontestscay! Eythay allway idday away uperbsay objay. Onway Aprilway 23rday, ourway Alltay Alestay innerway, Ivianvay Ilay, illway epresentray Areaway QAY 50 atway ethay Ivisionday QAY ontestcay. Et'slay allway ogay andway upportsay Ivianvay asway eshay insspay erhay amazingway alltay aletay! Ethay Oastmasterstay earyay isway icklyquay anishingvay. Ithway Aymay astfay approachingway, itway isway imetay otay inkthay aboutway ethay ubclay electionsway. Ithway isthay inway indmay, eway illway oldhay away ouplecay ofway educationalway essionssay onway Eadershiplay owardstay ethay endway ofway Aprilway.

Anniversariesway & Ilestonesmay

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Ongratulationscay otay Aichuntay Inqay, owhay elebratescay ishayirstfay-earyay anniversaryway ithway Outhsay Ainmay isthay onthmay! Ongratulationscay otay Enayray Acobjay, ATMB, owhay elebratescay ishay ourthfay-earyay anniversaryway ithway Outhsay Ainmay isthay onthmay! Ongratulationscay otay Evestay Ahamgray, CTM, owhay elebratescay ishay econdsay earyay anniversaryway ithway Outhsay Ainmay isthay onthmay! Ongratulationscay otay Ivekvay Ajanray, owhay elebratescay ishayirstfay-earyay anniversaryway ithway Outhsay Ainmay isthay onthmay!

Aprilway April

Aprilway 8: Easterway Olidayhay Ueday otay ethay Easterway eekendway, erethay illway ebay onay Oastmasterstay eetingmay.

Aprilway 23: Ivisionday Q Eechspay Ontestscay Omecay upportsay Outhsay Ainmay’say eechspay ontestantscay atway ethay Ivisionday Q Ingspray Eechspay Ontestscay. Itway illway ebay atway 7 p.m. atway ethay Oustonhay Epartmentday ofway Ealthhay andway Umanhay Ervicessay, Irstfay Oorflay Auditoriumway. 8000 Orthnay Adiumstay Ivedray andway Oldway Anishspay Ailtray Oustonhay, TX 77054

Udoskay otay Areaway Q50 Ingspray Eechspay Ontestscay! Ongratulationscay otay Ichaelmay Aksplay, andway Ivianvay Ilay orfay epresentingray Outhsay Ainmay Eakersspay atway ethay Areaway Q50 eechspay ontestscay onway Archmay 31. Ichaelmay onway econdsay aceplay orfay ethay Internationalway Eechspay Ontestcay andway Ivianvay onway irstfay aceplay orfay ethay Alltay Alestay Ontestcay. Ayway otay ogay!

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ondnessfay orfay atthay. Otnay ethay insertsway atthay ascadecay acrossway ymay oorflay andway underway ethay ouchcay eitherway.

Easeplay Onday’t Ogay Awayway Intpray ybay Enayray Acobjay, ATMB Everyway orningmay Iway akeway upway inway ymay Oustonhay ownhometay, Iway akemay away argelay upcay ofway offeecay, eatway eetsway eadbray, andway atchcay upway onway ethay ewsnay. Iway’evay ecomebay accustomedway otay oinggay otay ymay ontfray oorday andway ickingpay upway away eshfray opycay ofway Ethay Allway Eetstray Ournaljay. Iway actuallyway etgay itway orfay eefray ecausebay Iway onvincedcay ymay ossbay atthay Iway eedednay itway orfay ymay AMBAY assesclay, andway ymay ompanycay ayspay orfay itway. Adlysay, inway ecentray eeksway, Iway avenhay’tay eenbay ableway otay eadray ethay ewspapernay oroughlythay ecausebay ofway ethay imetay Iway endspay onway ethay aforementionedway MBA assesclay. Insteadway, Iway ypray yselfmay omfray ateverwhay Iway’may oingday atway orkway andway eekpay atway away ewfay ofway ymay ogay-otay ewsnay itessay: CNN andway Ethay Ewnay Orkyay Imestay. Ey'rethay easyway otay avigatenay, ithway ethay ewsnay Iway antway: Orldway eventsway, ediamay evelopmentsday, away orystay aboutway away atcay ursingnay away itterlay ofway orphanedway uppiespay. Utbay omething'ssay issingmay. Otnay ethay inkway-ainedstay andshay — onay

Ethay Eadlineshay! Ethay igbay, ashbray, eamingscray andway oftenway ilarioushay andway earthay-oppingstay eadlineshay atthay omecay inway intpray ewspapersnay ustjay on'tday ackpay ethay amesay unchpay onlineway. Ethay ordsway areway erethay, uresay. Utbay eythay omecay onway aduallygray asway eythay "oadlay," andway onceway ey'rethay erethay, ey'rethay utteredclay ybay allway ortssay ofway eaturesfay andway abstay andway earchsay optionsway. Untilway Iway ellfay intoway ymay onlineway abithay, Iway ouldway ogay outsideway otay ymay ontfray oorday andway ooklay orwardfay otay eadingray ethay eadlineshay. I'dway etgay away allsmay illthray asway Iway approachedway ethay aperpay. Atwhay idday ethay eadlinehay iterswray ookcay upway atelay astlay ightnay? Enthay Owpay! "Ustlay inway Acespay!" orfay ethay astronautway ovelay iangletray orystay. Away ewfay earsyay agoway enwhay Irstfay Aughterday Ennajay Ushbay asway aughtcay underageway inkingdray? "Ennajay andway Onictay." Iway issmay ethay abloidtay ewspapersnay omfray ymay ivinglay inway Ewnay Orkyay; Ethay Allway Eetstray Ournaljay isnway’tay asway ensationalsay. Ortingspay ymay ewspapernay inway ublicpay, I'llway ideray ethay airplaneway orway itsay inway away estaurantray. Andway I'llway etgay away illthray enwhay, outway ofway ethay ornercay ofway ymay eyeway, Iway eesay omeonesay oticenay ymay eadlinehay orway ethay eputableray itletay ofway ethay ewspapernay andway

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ilesmay. It'sway oremay anthay away omentmay. It's away ondbay. (Iway on'tday etgay outway uchmay.) Easeplay on'tday ogay awayway, intpray. Oastmastertay, Ewsweeknay, Ethay Allway Eetstray Ournaljay Iway’llay eetmay upway ithway ouyay oonsay enoughway. Iway appreciateway ethay effortsway ofway ouryay ashyflay igitalday ousincay, utbay aren'tway eway uedglay otay ourway omputerscay enoughway? Ithoutway ouyay, intpray, I'llway avehay onay eadlineshay otay areshay — andway at'llthay ebay eallyray onelylay. ************

Estbay Everway Uffinsmay ybay Obbay Uhay

2. Irstay ogethertay ethay ourflay, akingbay owderpay, altsay andway ugarsay inway away argelay owlbay. Akemay away ellway inway ethay entercay. Inway away allsmay owlbay orway 2 upcay easuringmay upcay, eatbay eggway ithway away orkfay. Irstay inway ilkmay andway oilway. Ourpay allway atway onceway intoway ethay ellway inway ethay ourflay ixturemay. Ixmay icklyquay andway ightlylay ithway away orkfay untilway oistenedmay, utbay oday otnay eatbay. Ethay atterbay illway ebay umpylay. Ourpay ethay atterbay intoway aperpay inedlay uffinmay anpay upscay. 3. Ariationsvay: Ueberryblay Uffinsmay: Addway 1 upcay eshfray ueberriesblay. Aisinray Uffinsmay: Addway 1 upcay inelyfay oppedchay aisinsray. Ateday Uffinsmay: Addway 1 upcay inelyfay oppedchay atesday. Eesechay Uffinsmay: Oldfay inway 1 upcay atedgray arpshay ellowyay eesechay. Aconbay Uffinsmay: Oldfay 1/4 upcay ispcray ookedcay aconbay, okenbray intoway itsbay. 4. Akebay orfay 25 inutesmay, orway untilway oldengay. Ieldyay: 12 ervingssay

ingredientsway 1. 2 upscay allway-urposepay ourflay 2. 3 easpoonstay akingbay owderpay 3. 1/2 easpoontay altsay 4. 3/4 upcay itewhay ugarsay 5. 1 eggway 6. 1 upcay ilkmay 7. 1/4 upcay egetablevay oilway Ookingcay Irectionsday 1. Eheatpray ovenway otay 400 egreesday F (205 egreesday C). ************

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odaytay overway ethay Outhsay omfray Ississippimay otay ethay oastalcay Arolinascay. Anway isolatedway everesay ormstay isway ossiblepay overway ortionspay ofway Alabamaway intoway arfay outheasternsay Ennesseetay odaytay. Orminessstay Iftsshay Eastwardway ybay Eiway Angzhay

Aturdaysay asway away usybay everesay eatherway ayday overway ortionspay ofway ethay Idwestmay. Everalsay eportsray ofway unnelfay oudsclay amecay omfray Isconsinway, andway indway amageday asway eportedray inway ethay Stay. Ouislay andway Icagochay etromay areasway. Odaytay, ethay iskray ofway everesay eatherway iftsshay eastwardway intoway ethay Upperway Ohioway Alleyvay, includingway ethay easternway alfhay ofway Ohioway andway ethay esternway arterquay ofway Ennsylvaniapay (includingway ethay itiescay ofway Evelandclay, Erieway, Ittsburghpay, andway Eelingwhay, Estway Irginiavay). Ainray illway alsoway ebay ossiblepay intoway Iladelphiaphay, Ewnay Orkyay, andway Outhernsay Ewnay Englandway atelay onighttay intoway ethay eeway ourshay onway Ondaymay orningmay.

Inway ethay Acificpay Orthwestnay andway ethay Orthernnay Ockiesray, ountainmay owsnay andway alleyvay ainray illway ebay ossiblepay odaytay. Ountainousmay areasway aroundway Ellowstoneyay Ationalnay Arkpay areway expectedway otay eesay omesay ofway ethay eatestgray owfallsnay otalstay odaytay, andway away interway ormstay atchway ashay eenbay ostedpay orfay ortionspay ofway outhsayentralcay Ontanamay.

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Askway ethay Astermay Earday Astermay, Inway ethay iritspay ofway Aprilway Oolsfay Ayday andway umorsray atthay ethay allfay ontestcay illway ebay ethay Umoroushay Eechspay ontestcay, ancay ouyay ivegay anyway ointerspay onway owhay otay itewray andway eliverday away oodgay umoroushay eechspay? Artherfay outhsay, ainray andway understormsthay illway ebay ossiblepay

— Unnyfay Onebay

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Earday Unnyfay Onebay, Erethay areway away umbernay ofway ingsthay Iway iscoveredday onway ethay athpay otay inningway ymay irstfay Umoroushay Eechspay ontestcay. Esethay ipstay aymay ervesay asway usefulway eppingstay onesstay orfay ouyay ifway ouyay’eray onsideringcay enteringway away Umoroushay Eechspay ontestcay earnay ouyay. Oday ethay Oppositeway Enwhay ouyay’eray evelopingday ethay opictay ofway ouryay umoroushay eechspay, ouyay ightmay ytray "oingday ethay oppositeway" ofway ouryay irstfay instinctway. Ivegay ouryay eechspay anway unpredictableway isttway. Antway otay ivegay away eechspay onway ungay ontrolcay? Owhay aboutway advocatingwayatthay everyoneway avehay unsgay—evenway amilyfay etspay? Owhay aboutway akingmay anway impassionedway eechspay aboutway eliminatingway axestay orfay ethay eryvay ichray? Orway erhapspay aketay ethay ositionpay atthay eway ouldshay allway atchway oremay elevisiontay. Umorhay illway omecay outway ofway ethay absurdityway ofway ouryay ositionpay. Esentingpray ethay ositionpay atthay’say ethay oppositeway ofway atwhay ouyay eanmay etsgay ethay audienceway engagedway, andway ivesgay emthay omethingsay eythay idnday’tay expectway. Urprisesay, afterway allway, isway oneway ofway ethay undamentalfay enetstay ofway umorhay. Ayplay Itway Aightstray Away eykay aspectway otay ivinggay away umoroushay eechspay isway orfay ethay eakerspay otay otnay ebay inway onway ethay okejay. Inkthay aboutway imestay enwhay ouyay’evay eardhay away okejay eliveredday ybay omeonesay owhay aughslay atway eirthay ownway okejay. Ustjay oesnday’tay eemsay asway unnyfay, oesday itway? Itway’say ethay amesay ithway away umoroushay eechspay.

Ethay umorhay isway orfay ouryay audienceway, otnay ouyay. Ayplay itway aightstray. Ickstay otay ethay Amegay Anplay Ethay ostmay importantway ingthay aboutway otnay ettinggay ethay esultsray ouyay expectway isway otay otnay etgay erailedday. Ickstay otay ethay amegay anplay. Implysay ovemay onway. (Orway asway eythay aidsay inway away ecentray adway ampaigncay: "Evernay etlay emthay eesay ouyay eatsway.") Andway underway onayircumstancescay ouldshay ouyay esentray ethay audienceway orfay otnay espondingray ethay ayway ouyay eelfay eythay ouldshay. Anymay away erformerpay ashay ademay ethay istakemay ofway ommentingcay onway owhay uptightway anway audienceway isway, orway owhay eythay ustjay onday’tay "etgay itway." Insteadway ofway ettinggay efensiveday, ustjay eepkay ovingmay. Ifway ouyay’evay oneday ethay operpray eparationpray, ouyay’llay avehay away umbernay ofway opportunitiesway orfay ethay audienceway otay omecay aroundway. Away everclay ayway otay afeguardsay againstway okesjay allingfay atflay isway otay otnay avehay anyway okesjay inway ouryay eechspay. Atthay’say ightray. Ebay Illbay Osbycay, otnay Odneyray Angerfieldday. Ethay ifferenceday? Angerfieldday’say ylestay usesway oneway orway otway inerslay. Etsayupway, unchlinepay, etsay-upway, unchlinepay. Everyway okejay ashay otay ebay away innerway. Ootay uchmay essurepray, ifway ouyay askway emay. Utbay ifway ouyay’evay everway eensay Illbay Osbycay erformpay, ehay ellstay oriesstay. Unnyfay oriesstay, utbay oriesstay atthay oday otnay elyray onway "okesjay" erpay esay. Itway akestay ethay essurepray offway. Erethay’say actuallyway away opularpay eorythay inway omedycay irclescay, especiallyway amongway etchskay, ayplay andway itcomsay iterswray, ichwhay utspay orthfay atthay away okejay ouldshay evernay ebay ableway otay andstay onway itsway

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ownway asway away okejay. Itway ouldshay omecay osay organicallyway omfray ethay onceptcay eingbay eliveredday atthay itway onway’ tay oldhay upway onway itsway ownway. Ersonallypay, Iway ouldnway’tay areday ivegay away umoroushay eechspay ifway Iway asnway’tay uresay Iway adhay away ouplecay ofway uresay-irefay okesjay inkledspray oughoutthray, utbay itway’say omethingsay otay onsidercay. Onday’t Epstay onway ethay Aughterlay Erehay’say away ickytray oneway. Etlay’say assumeway allway isway oinggay accordingway otay anplay. Ethay audienceway isway ithway ouyay. Ouyay owthray outway away inelay: "Ymay arcay isway away onvertiblecay. Iway allcay itway atthay ecausebay enwhay Iway urntay ethay eykay, itway onvertscay intoway away iecepay ofway unkjay." Ethay audienceway espondsray. Erethay isway away elicateday alancebay uckstray etweenbay away umoroushay eakerspay andway ethay audienceway. Ifway ouyay eakspay uringday ethay aughterlay, oneway ofway otway ingsthay illway appenhay: 1) ouryay extnay ommentcay onway’tay ebay eardhay, orway 2) ethay aughterlay illway abruptlyway althay osay ouyay ancay ebay eardhay. (Omfray erethay onway outway ouryay audienceway isway ikelylay otay ebay inhibitedway—eythay onway’tay antway otay issmay anythingway, osay eythay’eray esslay ikelylay otay etlay ooselay ithway aughterlay againway.) Osay, erehay’say away oodgay uleray ofway umbthay. Aysay ethay urationday ofway anway audienceway’say esponseray isway away eriodpay ofway imetay easuredmay omfray oneway otay entay, ithway eethray orway ourfay ypicallytay eingbay ethay eakpay ofway ethay aughterlay. Ouyay ancay avoidway "eppingstay onway ethay aughlay" ybay aitingway untilway aboutway eightway otay eginbay eakingspay againway. Ouyay onday’tay antway otay aitway untilway 10, asway atthay’say earlynay ilencesay—andway atthay’say ootay atelay ecausebay ouyay’llay oselay ouryay omentummay.

Ethay Uleray ofway Eethray Itway’say alsoway importantway otay ememberray ethay Uleray ofway Eethray. Atthay’say ethay ageway-oldway (andway orfay oodgay easonray) uidelinegay assedpay ownday oughthray ethay enerationsgay omfray umoristhay otay umoristhay—amelynay atthay eethray okesjay onway away ivengay ubjectsay isway inefay, utbay onay oremay. Ethay extnay imetay ouyay observeway away eakerspay ouyay admireway, owhay akesmay ouyay aughlay andway owhay eemssay otay avehay ethay erfectpay ensesay ofway atwhay otay aysay andway owhay, aypay attentionway otay owhay anymay okesjay ehay orway eshay ivesgay otay unctuatepay anyway articularpay ointpay. Atthay’say ightray. Eethray’say ethay imitlay. Incidentallyway, ethay Uleray ofway Eethray alsoway appliesway otay owhay anymay examplesway ouyay ouldshay ivegay onway anyway opictay ithinway ouryay eechspay. Ifway ouyay utpay orthfay away onceptcay, upportsay itway ithway eethray (orway ewerfay) examplesway. Avesay Ouryay Estbay Okejay orfay Astlay Erethay’say away emptationtay otay owthray outway allway ouryay estbay aterialmay ightray awayway—otay etgay ethay audienceway onway ouryay idesay. Utbay itway’say arfay oremay importantway otay avehay away eatgray oserclay. Atthay inalfay ayoffpay isway atwhay ethay audienceway (andway erhapspay oremay importantlyway atway away ontestcay, ethay udgesjay) illway ememberray. Astermay ethay "Allbackcay" Away eykay omiccay eviceday isway ethay "allbackcay." Ethay allbackcay isway implysay away eferenceray otay omethingsay atthay asway esentedpray earlierway inway ethay eechspay. Allbackscay ivegay away umoroushay eechspay away ensesay ofway ohesioncay, andway arelyray ailfay otay ingbray away ositivepay esponseray omfray anway audienceway—eitherway ecausebay ethay

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allbackcay isway intrinsicallyway unnyfay, orway atway ethay eryvay eastlay ecausebay itway’say omethingsay amiliarfay. Indfay Iendlyfray Acesfay Uringday ouryay eechspay, eeksay ethay upportsay ofway ellowfay ubclay embersmay. Ethay effectway ofway eingbay ableway otayooklay outway intoway anway audienceway andway indfay iendlyfray acesfay ancay’tay ebay overstatedway. Atchway ethay Ockclay Asway Oastmasterstay, eway idepray ourselvesway onway eingbay isciplinedday enwhay itway omescay otay imetay. Oweverhay, umoroushay eechesspay, unlikeway otherway indskay ofway eechesspay, elyray onway away idelyway aryingvay imetay aspectway atthay ancay avehay away erioussay impactway onway ouryay anceschay ofway inningway away ontestcay—audienceway esponseray. Ifway ouyay oday ouryay objay orrectlycay, ouryay eechspay illway elicitway alesgay ofway aughterlay. Ethay oblempray? Itway’say impossibleway otay owknay exactlyway owhay uchmay imetay atthay aughterlay illway addway otay ouryay eechspay. Inway ontestscay, oinggay overway ethay allottedway imetay ancay esultray inway isqualificationday. Inway ostmay asescay, isthay illway eanmay ouyay’llay antway otay uildbay inway omesay imetay orfay audienceway esponseray. Ifway ouyay eparepray away eechspay atthay unsray evensay inutesmay ithoutway eaksbray orfay audienceway esponseray, ouyay’eray inway oubletray. (Ethay ypicaltay imetay imitlay inway Umoroushay Eechspay ontestscay isway 5-7 inutesmay.)

alsoway oldhay away eedsay ofway uthtray orfay ethay audienceway otay aketay omehayithway emthay. Eythay avehay anway underlyingway emethay, orway ositionpay atthay ustjay ainplay icksstay ithway audienceway embersmay. Ethay ifferenceday etweenbay away erelymay unnyfay eechspay andway away inningway unnyfay eechspay isway atthay ethay inningway eechspay ovokespray andway inspiresway, andway ancay andstay away iticallycray importantway esttay—away inningway umoroushay eechspay ouldway illstay ebay ovocativepray andway inspiringway evenway ifway allway ethay umorhay ereway emovedray. Ustjay ecausebay itway’say away umoroushay eechspay oesnday’ tay eanmay itway ancay orway ouldshay ebay ivolousfray. Oinggay orfay obviousway orway easyway aughslay isnway’tay enoughway. Eeksay outway ethay essagemay, ethay orystay onlyway ouyay ancay elltay. Ustjay inkthay ofway umorhay asway anway "ideaway eliveryday eviceday," othingnay oremay. Ogay orfay ethay Oldgay Osay, atwhay areway ouyay aitingway orfay? Erethay’say away unnyfay ersonpay inway ouyay aitingway otay etgay outway. Ethay estbay iecepay ofway adviceway ouyay ncay eceiveray aboutway oodgay Umoroushay Eechesspay isway isthay: Iveday inway. Atthay’s ightray. Ebay earlessfay.

Iscoverday ethay Eedsay ofway Uthtray Onay attermay owhay absurdway orway illysay away opictay ouyay oosechay, ethay ostmay emorablemay andway esonantray echesspay— oughthay unnyfay andway entertainingway—

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