Ako Ba Un

You're inlove with a human being and not with superman .. one day you will ask me what i love more.. you or my life, and when i say my life.. you will walk away from me without knowing..., that you are my life..

A few years back...I was so excited to meet that special someone who will make my life complete. I thought I had it all na kasi except for that someone who will make me forget about my fears and heartaches. Many times...I thought nakilala ko na siya...but many times I realized that hindi pala siya. I don't know kung hindi talaga siya para sa akin or ako lang yung may problema...dahil i just can't get contented with what I have. Masaya lang kasi sa una...then after that, sunod sunod na ang away, kung wala namang away, wala namang thrill. And I end up getting tired of hoping that tomorrow will make up for today...Finally, I decided that maybe its better to try my luck elsewhere, maybe, someone else's love will make me feel complete.Every woman wants a man who will make her feel special...and treat her like she's everything in his life... He's always busy...he doesn't have time for me. He promised to take me out for dinner and movie and then biglang tatawag "B, sorry I can't take you out today, my boss asked me to work tonight, may hinahabol kasing deadline. Nakakahiya naman pag hindi ko pagbibigyan. Hayaan mo I'll make it up to you next time." And it happens all the time. I often end up spending the day crying in my room. "Bakit gan'un, he doesn't care about me...I was looking forward to see him today. Hindi ba niya ako namimiss?" Kaya heto ako...I've made up my mind na...I'll give him what he wants...he probably won't miss me anyway. I'm always last sa lahat ng priorities niya. Im not important to him at all. If he can't treat me right, somebody else will! Mahimbing ang tulog niya...when he came home. D man lng niya ako napansin. He gave me a kiss sa cheek and ginulo ang buhok ko...after that dumeretso nasa kuarto at natulog. I won't wake him up anymore...susulat na lng ako...at parang isang panaginip...pagising niya wala na ako. Dear Jake, While you're reading this letter, wala na ako...you probably won't see me again. I won't tell you the details anymore coz alam mo na yun. but i guess you deserve to know why...Lately, I realized that this is not the kind of life that I want for myself..you know that I've been lonely most of my life and I want to share my life with someone who won't take me for granted, who will make me happy every second of my life. Forgive me but I guess, hanggang dito na lng tayo. I just want you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy too. Maan With tears in my eyes, I left the letter beside him para makita niya paggising niya. And then I looked at him. Ang guapo guapo niya...napangiti ako...naaalala ko nung una ko siyang makilala. I met this guy sa school nung college. Ang daming nagkakagusto sa kanya but I don't know what he saw in me at ako ang niligawan niya kahit inaaway ko siya. I was scared of him before, para kasing

playboy ang mukha...I was broken hearted at that time and getting hurt again was the last thing I wanted. But then he was persistent and he was really nice to me. At first, our relationship was extraordinary. wala akong masabi. Nobody has ever treated me like that...kaya lang as time went by...we both got busy and despite the fact that we both lived under one roof, we seldom spent time with each other. He buys me anything I want but I dont really need anything...I just need him. But i guess, he changed a lot since the first time we were together, siguro he fell out of love and he just can't tell me...Ba't kasi kailangan pang magbago ang lahat....kaya heto na naman ako, muling mag iisa.I didn't realize, I was staring at him for 3 hours. Gumalaw siya and something fell off his hand---ballpen?! and then I saw a piece of paper sa tabi niya.. I was curious kaya binasa ko and it goes like this... Dear Maan, For all the times that I have disappointed you, I'm really sorry. I know I've been out of your sight often and that I always make you feel bad. Im really sorry. I want you to know that even though wala ako sa tabi mo...I'm always thinking about you. You are the reason why I work hard. I want to give you everything in life because you deserve everything and I want you to be happy. Kaya forgive me kung hindi tayo natuloy last week. I had to work double time para matuloy tayo ngayon. I know that you've always wanted to go south sa beach. I can't afford a house by the beach right now but I hope that I've made you happy today. I love you baby. I love you more than you'll ever know. Happy Valentines Day! With lots of love, Jake What if hindi ko nakita ang letter na to? I could have committed the greatest mistake of my life, letting go of someone who loves me the way this man does. I will never forgive myself for thinking that he was unfair, that he doesn't care, that he doesn't love me. I couldn't help myself but cry. All the while, I was the one being unfair and selfish and I feel so stupid for failing to see what this man is doing for me. Valentines na pala next week. I havent got anything for him yet...ahh alam ko na, from now on, hindi na ako mangungulit. I can wake up tomorrow and pretend that nothing happened tonight. I placed his letter back under his pillow and I tore mine into pieces. Tapos, niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. I love you, b. I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me at ginulo ang buhok ko (gulat ako) I love you more he told me. And he laughed. He was watching me all the time?! O, tapos naba ang drama mo? Kanina pa kita hinihintay. And he turned off the lights. :) Kaya babae, makontento ka, okay? You're in love with a human being and not with superman!!! Love is not a bed of roses and love is not a bed of nails. It is a combination of sadness and happiness...