15 Minute Fame Poem

15 Minute Fame Poem Enable me to be shallow and materialistic Empower me with insecurity Allow me to worship Madonna as a shining goddess And Britney Spears as a radiant media deity Lead me into the Valley of Fame Suffuse me with vanity, with bitchiness and tantrums Furnish me with perfect white teeth and false showbiz smile Give me unlimited access to my plastic surgeon, To my publicist and Reiki instructor For it is my god given right to be upgraded To first class on all trans-Atlantic flights Cover me with Dolce & Gabana And banish all cellulite from my body Anoint me Queen of the Tabloids Supply me with lip gloss and limousines Fit me with breast implants Help me to graduate from stage school With distinctions in Catwalk and Dizzy Blonde, In Pole Dancing and Soft Porn Introduce me to George Clooney or David Beckham Inject me with botox Exaggerate my ego Teach me how to dance in just my underwear Speak to me only through my entourage Procure for me a style guru, a fitness instructor, A Feng Shui expert, a crystal therapist, A film producer, a clairvoyant and tatooist, A young actor, a footballer, an octogenarian billionaire Grant me an audition with Simon Cowell Let me idolise Oprah and Ricki Lake As true angels of daytime tv Protect my Audi Roadster from spiteful fingernails And my Prada handbag from jealous nightclub thieves Surround me with Dom Perignon and temptation Lead me into Stringfellows For thy is the Media, the Celebrity and the Gossip Column Hallowed be my Fame Forever and ever, Amen Mike Davies 3 June 2009

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