12 Step Text Copy

Introduction As a beautiful piece of gold is wrought from a mineral that has been hiding in the earth for generations, so is the material necessary to enhance the beauty of a human soul. This ancient ore is taken from the dusty scrolls and shelves of wisdom past and formed into something of lasting beauty. Within a heart grown weary of empty programs and self-generated attempts at spirituality, there develops a deep hunger for the Truth. There emerges a willingness to pay the price and spend the time to acquire authentic spiritual fruit. For this we turn to the teachings, examples, and way of life of the ancient Holy Ones of the early Christian Church, known as the Orthodox Church (Orthodox meaning "authentic worship" or "authentic teaching.") Following the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ, His Holy Apostles and their disciples left behind a body of literature known generally as the "Teachings of the Holy Fathers." This was comprised of the Holy Scriptures, lives of the Saints and Martyrs, liturgical prayers and poetry, monastic rules, sayings of the desert Fathers and Mothers, and other sources. Many of the ancient texts on prayer and sober watchfulness were collected by the Russian monastic elder, St. Paisius Velichkovsky in the mideighteenth century, to form what became known as "The Philokalia.". The words philo (lover) and kalos (beauty, goodness) convey the essence of true spiritual life: i.e.) acquiring the Holy Spirit and sharing in the true beauty of a pure heart wherein one beholds God. These teachings spanned a millennium from the 4th to the 14th centuries. They were taken from the wisdom amassed by experience of the holy elders of old. Through conscious spiritual struggle (ascesis: spiritual training and exercise, hence the word, ascetic), these holy ones were able to cooperate with the grace of God and redirect their passions toward an original state of wholeness and stillness of soul, called purity of heart. This transformation was evidenced in tens of thousands of holy ones. St. Moses of Ethiopia, a former gang leader and murderous thief, followed this path and became one of the desert fathers, and later died as a martyr. St. Mary of Egypt, formerly a prostitute sold out to sensual pleasure, through repentance and grace became one of the holiest of women. St. Augustine of Hippo, who had fathered a child at age 17 and lived a promiscuous life, was radically converted in his twenties. He later became the bishop of Hippo in North Africa and one of the most prolific writers in the history of Christianity. Daily in the Church calendar there is a recounting of such radical transformation. St. Mark the Ascetic said, "Remembrance of God is pain of heart endured in the spirit of devotion, but he who forgets God becomes self-indulgent and thereby insensitive." Thinking about God, spiritual life and the care of our souls often causes us to get in touch with a deep and profound suffering and pain. It is the pain of Adam, away from Paradise, shared by all of us. To escape this pain is often the reason we pursue various addictions which the Holy Fathers called "passions" or "vices." Caught in such a web, we often are unable to see riches to be gained from facing the pain with God's help and returning to the path of transformation. This small book, The Twelve Steps Following the Ancient Christian Path, is an introduction to the restoring of the soul. If followed, it will truly put one on the path towards inner transformation, peace and purity of heart. It was especially designed to be used in a small group context. When those in the group are willing to honestly face themselves, get to know their own most powerful passions, and then with the help of God and others overcome them, they begin, step by step, to reorient their souls to the "true riches." May the enabling and sustaining grace of God be released to whoever will embark on this journey. At times you will want to quit, but remember: "the end of a matter is better than its beginning." It is indeed like digging for treasure.

Persevere through darkness. God sees your attempts. Before you know it, light will break forth and joy will fill you. May the blessings of the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, rest on all who pursue this path. Fr. Paisius Altschul September 1/14, 1996 Church New Year Reconciliation Ministries Kansas City, Missouri Preface Earlier this century, a renewal movement called the Oxford Group attempted to bring personal and moral change to the Western world. The Oxford Group sprang from applying the principles of John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, which he in turn had drawn from the ancient Christian sources. The Oxford Group systematized a series of steps as a process of cleansing one's inner life. These "steps" were later adapted by Alcoholics Anonymous and expanded from 8 steps to 12 , without acknowledging their Christian source. Here they are readapted, emphasizing Jesus Christ and His ancient Church as the foundation of personal transformation. After each step you will find verses from the Holy Scriptures, quotes from the Holy Fathers of the Ancient Orthodox Church and meditations on each step. This booklet is designed for both group discussion and individual application. May these ancient Truths guide you in your quest for personal transformation. Here then are The Twelve Steps following the ancient Christian path. TABLE OF CONTENTS ......page 7 ......page 10 ......page 13 ......page 17

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......page 61 ......page 67 Step Number One: I now see that I, of myself, am powerless, unable to control (manage) my life by myself. Step Number Two: I now realize that my Creator - God, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit - can restore me to wholeness in Christ. Step Number Three: I now make a conscious decision to turn my entire will and life over to the care and direction of Jesus Christ as Teacher, Healer, Savior and Lord. Step Number Four: Having made this decision, I now obey God's call in Scripture to make a fearless, ethical, moral and scriptural inventory of my entire life in order to uncover all my sins, mistakes and character defects, and to make a written list of every item uncovered. Step Number Five: After completing the inventory, I now will begin to "walk in the light as He is in the light" by admitting to myself, to God, and to at least one other person in Christ the exact nature of these wrongs. Step Number Six: Having agreed with God about my sinful behavior, I now seek forgiveness through Christ and am prepared to make the necessary changes to enter a life of fellowship with Him and His Church. Step Number Seven: I now repent from all these behaviors in thought, word and deed, and ask God to remove each besetting sin, through the mercies of Jesus Christ. Step Number Eight: I now make a list of all persons I have harmed in thought, word and deed, and a list of all persons I believe have harmed me, and seek to make amends to all of them Step Number Nine: I now go directly to these persons to seek forgiveness, reconciliation, restitution or release, whenever and with whomever possible, unless to do so would cause further harm. Step Number Ten: I now consciously and prayerfully continue to "walk in the light" by unceasingly taking personal inventory of all my temptations and sins, and by keeping a constantly open relationship with God, myself, and other persons to whom I am accountable. Step Number Eleven: I now continue in regular Scripture study, spiritual reading, prayer, worship and fellowship to increase God's will in my life. Step Number Twelve: Recognizing the impact of God in my life, I now intentionally share these principles and their effect with others as God's Spirit leads, and will seek to practice these principles in all areas of my life. Bibliography: STEP NUMBER ONE I now see that I, of myself, am powerless, unable to control (manage) my life by myself. Holy Scripture: Jn. 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: he that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without Me ye can do nothing. (KJV) 2 Cor 3:5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God. (KJV) Rom 7:22-24 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my

members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (KJV) Ps. 40:1-2 I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. (KJV) Jer 17:5-9 Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD. For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (KJV) Holy Fathers: St. Mark the Ascetic, Philokalia, Vol I; On the Spiritual Law, #41, p. 113. When you have done something good, remember the words, "without Me you can do nothing." St. Macarius the Great, Philokalia, Vol. III; Love, #103, p. 331. If the earth abides by itself, not receiving the farmer's attention and the assistance of rain and sun, it is unfit and incapable of bearing fruit; and every house would be filled with darkness but for the light of the sun, which is not of its own nature; and other things are in a similar state. In the same way, human nature, which in itself is powerless to produce the fruits of the virtues in their full perfection, needs the spiritual husbandman of our souls; in other words, it needs the Spirit of Christ, and this Spirit is of a totally different nature from our own, for we are created while He is uncreated. Skillfully tilling the hearts of the faithful so that they surrender their whole will to Him, He enables them to produce perfect spiritual fruits, while He makes His light shine in the soul's dwelling-place that has been darkened by the passions. Abba Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings, On Humility, p. 98. The first kind of humility is to hold my brother to be wiser than myself, and in all things to rate him higher than myself, and simply, as that holy man said, to put oneself below everyone. The second is to attribute to God all virtuous actions. This is the perfect humility of the saints. It is generated naturally in the soul by the performance of the commandments. It is just like a tree bearing much fruit: it is the fruit that bends the branches and lowers them down, but when there is no fruit, the branches point upwards and grow straight. Meditation From these Scriptures and sayings of the Holy Fathers, we can see how absolutely helpless we are when we try to live our lives on our own power. Jesus described it like a branch trying to bear fruit while being unconnected to the trunk of the tree. Is it any wonder than that our lives have gotten into such a mess! But take courage! Jesus taught that "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God." (Mt. 5:3) Coming to know how truly poor and needy we are is the first step to experiencing His kind of life. STEP NUMBER TWO

I now realize that my Creator - God, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit can restore me to wholeness in Christ. Holy Scripture: Matt 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (KJV) Ps. 23:1-3 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. (KJV) Gen 1:26-27: And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (KJV) Holy Fathers: St. Ionikkius: From Compline & Midnight Service; Horologion of the Holy Orthodox Church My hope is the Father, my refuge is the Son, my protection is the Holy Spirit. O Holy Trinity, Glory to Thee! St. Isaac the Syrian: On Ascetical Life; Third Discourse: #38. p. 55. Thirst for Jesus, that He may intoxicate you with His love. Close your eyes to the precious things of the world that you may deserve to have the peace of God reign in your heart. St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol. III, Spurious Knowledge. p. 200. Ignorant, incapable of doing anything, we take refuge in Christ; and fearing His righteousness because we are sinners, we ask Him to order all things as He judges best in His compassionate love. St. Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings; On Cutting Off Passionate Desires, p. 173. Christ is the Doctor of souls, and he knows everything and applies the right remedy for every sickness. For example: for vainglory, the commandment about humility; for love of pleasure, temperance; for avarice, almsgiving. In short, each disease of the soul has a commandment which is its appropriate remedy, so that the Doctor is not inexperienced, nor again are the remedies old and impotent, for Christ's commands never go stale. Therefore, there is no impediment to the soul's healing except its own unruliness. Meditation How many of us learned Psalm 23 when we were children. "The Lord is my shepherd...He restores my soul." To restore is to bring back to the original condition. In Church Slavonic, the language of the Russian Church, the word for saint means "like the first formed man" i.e. Adam & Eve in Paradise. All of us, deep within, have a feeling for Paradise sometimes. This inward longing is a reflection of where we've come from. We were created by a loving God. He is revealed as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Restoration is returning towards a paradisal state. Knowing our need and then Who to turn to is half the journey there. May He continue to guide us.

STEP NUMBER THREE I now make a conscious decision to turn my entire will and life over to the care and direction of Jesus Christ as Teacher, Healer, Savior and Lord. Holy Scripture: Psa 37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. (KJV) Prov. 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. (KJV) Luke 9:23-24 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. (KJV) John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: the Father, but by me. (KJV)

no man cometh unto

Holy Fathers: St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol.I, On the Spiritual Law, #109, p. 117. When you hear the Lord saying that if someone does not renounce all that he has he "is not worthy of Me" (Mt. 10:37), apply this not only to money but to all forms of vice. Tatian: The Early Christians; Address to the Greeks 15:1, p. 264. Now there remains nothing for us to do but to seek what we once had but have lost: to join the soul to the Holy Spirit and thereby to achieve union with Him according to God's will. Tatian: The Early Christians; Address to the Greeks 11:5-6, p.264. Die to the World by renouncing the madness of its stir and bustle. Live for God by throwing off the old man in you, through recognition of His nature. We were not born to die. We die because of our own guilt. Our freedom of will has ruined us. We who were free became slaves. We were sold because of our sin. God created nothing evil. It is we who brought forth wickedness. St. Diadochus of Photiki: Philokalia, Vol. I, On Spiritual Knowledge #53, p. 268. There is nothing to prevent us from calling a doctor when we are ill. Since Providence has implanted remedies in nature, it has been possible for human experimentation to develop the art of medicine. All the same, we should not place our hope of healing in doctors, but in our true Savior and Doctor, Jesus Christ. #4. p. 253. All men are made in God's image; but to be in His likeness is granted only to those who through great love have brought their own freedom into subjection to God. For only when we do not belong to ourselves do we become like Him who through love has reconciled us to Himself. No one achieves this unless he persuades his soul not to be distracted by the false glitter of this life. St. Maximos the Confessor: #11, p. 167.

Philokalia, Vol. II, First Century of Various Texts,

As man I deliberately transgressed the divine commandment, when the devil, enticing me with the hope of divinity (cf. Gen. 3:5), dragged me down from my natural stability into the realm of sensual pleasure; and he was proud to have thus brought death into existence, for he delights in the corruption of human nature. Because of this, God became perfect man, taking on everything that belongs to human nature except sin (cf. Heb.4:15); and indeed sin is not part of human nature. In this way, by enticing the insatiable serpent with the bait of the flesh, He provoked him to open his mouth and swallow it. This flesh proved poison to him, destroying him utterly by the power of the Divinity within it; but to human nature it proved a remedy restoring it to its original grace by that same power of the Divinity within it. St. Macarius of Egypt: Philokalia, Vol. III, The Freedom of the Intellect, #150, p. 353. What is the purpose of Christ's advent? The restoration and reintegration of the human nature in Him. For he restored to human nature the original dignity of Adam, and in addition bestowed on it the unutterable grace of the heavenly inheritance of the Holy Spirit. Leading it out of the prison of darkness, He showed it the way and the door to life. By traversing this way and knocking on this door we can enter the kingdom of heaven. As He said: "Ask and it will be given to you ... knock and it will opened to you" (Matt. 7:7). By passing through this door it is possible for everyone to attain the freedom of his soul, to cut off his evil thoughts, and to become Christ's bride and consort through the communion of the Holy Spirit. Such is the ineffable love of the Lord towards man, whom He has created in His own image. Meditation When we first rode a bicycle we discovered a simple lesson: keep going forward! Once we see where we can be restored and Who can restore us, there's only one thing left to do. Run to Jesus Christ! Turn everything over to Him. Seek to follow His instructions in everything. Let's face it. We've tried to steer this ship on our own and ended up on the rocky reefs. Now it's time to let Him be the Captain of our ship. STEP NUMBER FOUR Having made this decision, I now obey God's call in Scripture to make a fearless, ethical, moral and scriptural inventory of my entire life in order to uncover all my sins, mistakes and character defects, and to make a written list of every item uncovered. Holy Scripture: James 1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. (KJV) 1 Pet 2:1-3 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, as newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious. (KJV) Mark 7:20-23 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile

the man. (KJV) Matt 23:26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. (KJV) Matt 7:1-5 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. (KJV) Holy Fathers: Evagrios the Solitary: Philokalia, Vol.I, On Discrimination, pp. 43-44. Because during temptation the intellect is clouded and does not see exactly what is happening, do as follows after the demon has withdrawn. Sit down and recall in solitude the things that have happened: where you started and where you went, in what place you were seized by the spirit of unchastity, dejection or anger and how it all happened. Examine these things closely and commit them to memory, so that you will then be ready to expose the demon when he next approaches you. Try to become conscious of the weak spot in yourself which he hid from you and you will not follow him again. St. Peter of Damascus, Philokalia, Vol.III, Spurious Knowledge, p. 200. We should briefly confess all the various types of sin into which we fall, so as to recall them and to grieve over them, acknowledging our own weakness so that the power of Christ may come upon us, as St. Paul says (cf. 2 Cor.12:9), and so that our many evil actions may be forgiven. We do not dare to entreat on behalf of all, but only for our own sins. We ask that our every vice and every evil habit may be curbed, since we cannot control them, and we call upon the Almighty to restrain the impulses of our passions and not to permit us to sin against Him or against any man, so that we may in this way find salvation through His grace. We also pray that through the recollection of our sins we may acquire tribulation of soul and ability to pray for others, thereby fulfilling the commandment of St. James (cf. Jas.5:16), as well as expressing our love for all men. By listing the forms of passion that tyrannize us, we are led to take refuge in our Master and brought to a state of contrition. We pray for those whom we have distressed, and for those who have distressed us, or who will distress us, because we do not want to harbor the least trace of rancor, and because we fear that on account of our weakness we will not be able to endure with forbearance when the time comes or to pray for those who mistreat us, as the Lord commands (cf. Lk.6:28). St. Hesychios the Priest: Philokalia, Vol.I, On Watchfulness and Holiness, #65, p. 174. St. Basil the Great, mouthpiece of Christ and pillar of the Church, says that a great help towards not sinning and committing daily the same faults is for us to review in our conscience at the end of each day what we have done wrong and what we have done right. Job did this with regard both to himself and to his children. (cf. Job 1:5). These daily reckonings illumine a man's hour by hour behavior. St. Moses of Ethiopia: Sayings of Desert Fathers, #7, pp. 142-143. The old man said, "The aim in all these things is not to judge one's neighbor. For truly, when the hand of the Lord caused all the first born in the land of Egypt to die, no house was without its dead." The brother said, "What does this

mean?" The old man said, "If we are on the watch to see our own faults, we shall not see those of our neighbor. It is folly for a man who has a dead person in his house to leave him there and go to weep over his neighbor's dead. To die to one's neighbor is this: To bear your own faults and not to pay attention to anyone else wondering whether they are good or bad. Do not harm to anyone, do not think anything bad in your heart towards anyone, do not scorn the man who does evil, do not put confidence in him who does wrong to his neighbor, do not rejoice with him who injures his neighbor. This is what dying to one's neighbor means. Do not rail against anyone, but rather say, 'God knows each one.' Do not agree with him who slanders, do not rejoice at his slander and do not hate him who slanders his neighbor. This is what it means not to judge. Do not have hostile feelings towards anyone and do not let dislike dominate your heart; do not hate him who hates his neighbor. This is what peace is: Encourage yourself with this thought, "Affliction lasts but a short time, while peace is for ever, by the grace of God the Word. Amen.'" St. Macarius of Egypt: Philokalia, Vol.III, Freedom of the Intellect, #120, p. 338. Let everyone call his own soul to account, examining it and testing it to see to what it is attached; and should he find that his heart does not conform to God's laws, let him try with all his strength to keep not only the body but also the intellect from corruption and involvement with evil thoughts - if, that is to say, he wishes God in His purity to take up His dwelling within him according to His promise. For God has promised to dwell within souls that are pure and devoted to what is beautiful and good (cf. 2 Cor. 6:16). Meditation St. Anthony of Egypt, expressing the counsel of many Desert Fathers, revealed that the first step to knowing God is to know yourself. It is often to avoid the pain of self-awareness that we are distracted with various addictions. The Desert Fathers, through their experience in self-knowledge, explained that the fruit of outward sins are rooted in vices and passions hidden like diseases in the soul. They spoke of eight of them that were linked together like a chain: 1) Gluttony 2) Lust 3) Avarice or Greed 4) Anger 5) Despondency 6) Despair 7) Vain Glory 8) Pride. (cf. The Acquisition of the Holy Spirit in Ancient Russia; I.M. Kontzevitch, p. 39) What we call addictions have their foundation here. Finding those passions that we're most susceptible to is a major step on the road to purity of heart. Jesus called it "removing the log from our own eye." (Mt. 7:5) God doesn't send light to us to push us away, but rather to show us what He wants to give us the power to change. Like the restful sleep you find after a hard day's work, so is the rest that follows this step. Just be careful not to take any shortcuts. STEP NUMBER FIVE After completing the inventory, I now will begin to "walk in the light as He is in the light" by admitting to myself, to God, and to at least one other person in Christ the exact nature of these wrongs. Holy Scripture: Acts 19:18-20 And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed. (KJV) James 5:14-16

Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (KJV) 1 John 1:5-10 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. (KJV) Psa 51:1-4; 10-11; 13; 17 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. (KJV) Holy Fathers: Abba Serapion: Philokalia, Vol. I. St. John Cassian, On the Holy Fathers of Sketis & On Discrimination, pp. 103-104. Abba Moses then said: I shall tell you of something that Abba Serapion once did and which he used to speak about to those who came to him for help. He used to say: "When I was a young man I lived with my spiritual father, and at mealtimes, prompted by the devil, I would steal a rusk as I got up from the table and eat it without my father's knowledge. Because I persisted in this habit, I was utterly overcome by it and was unable to conquer it. Though I was condemned by my own conscience, I was ashamed to speak of it to my father. But through God's love it happened that certain brethren came to the old man for advice and asked him about their thoughts. The elder replied that nothing so harms a monk and brings such joy to the demons as the hiding of one's thoughts from one's spiritual father. He also spoke to them about self-control. As this was being said I came to myself and, thinking that God had revealed my past mistakes to the elder, I was pricked with compunction and began to cry, throwing from my pocket the rusk which I had stolen as usual. Casting myself to the ground I begged his forgiveness for my past faults and his prayers for my future safety. Then the old man said: 'My child, your confession has freed you, although I was silent. You have slain the demon that was wounding you because of your silence, by expressing openly what you were keeping to yourself. Until this moment you ensured that he would be your master by not opposing or rebuking him. From now on, however, he will no longer find room in you, since he has been brought out of your heart into the open.'" St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol.III, Spurious Knowledge, p. 199. St. Athanasios the Great says that we should confess the sins we have committed in ignorance, as well as those that we would have committed had we not been saved

from them by God's grace, so that these may not be counted against us in the hour of death. St. Maximos the Confessor: Philokalia, Vol. II, 3rd Century of Various Texts, # 63, p. 226. Confession takes two forms. According to the one, we give thanks for the blessings received; according to the other, we bring to light and examine what we have done wrong. We use the term confession both for the grateful appreciation of the blessings we have received through divine favor, and for the admission of the evil actions of which we are guilty. Both forms produce humility. For he who thanks God for blessings and he who examines himself for his offenses are both humbled. The first judges himself unworthy of what he has been given; the second implores forgiveness for his sins. Meditation In the Garden of Paradise, Adam and Eve tried to hide from the Presence of the Lord by covering themselves with fig leaves. Admitting our inner conditions and defects to ourselves, God and another person is a major step in healing our soul. It begins to reverse the tendency towards darkness as we left Paradise and instead trains us to turn back to the light and return to Paradise. St. Ignatius Brianchaninov said, "Passions retreat from the one who mercilessly confesses them." (Acquisition; I.M. Kontzevitch, p. 66) Our inner soul is not to be shared with just anyone, but rather someone who is known for spiritual discernment. Be it a priest or a spiritually experienced lay person, a monk or a nun, this admission is of inestimable value. STEP NUMBER SIX Having agreed with God about my sinful behavior, I now seek forgiveness through Christ and am prepared to make the necessary changes to enter a life of fellowship with Him and His Church. Holy Scripture: 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJV) Luke 3:7-14 Then said he to the multitude that came forth to be baptized of him, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, That God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. And the people asked him, saying, What shall we do then? He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise. Then came also publicans to be baptized, and said unto him, Master, what shall we do? And he said unto them, Exact no more than that which is appointed you. And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages. (KJV) Luke 19:8-10 And Zacchaeus stood, and give to the poor; and if I restore him fourfold. this house, forsomuch as

said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to he also is a son of Abraham. For the Son of man is come

to seek and to save that which was lost. (KJV) 2 Cor 7:9-11 Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter. (KJV) Holy Fathers: St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol. I, No Righteousness by Works, #13, p. 126. Often our knowledge becomes darkened because we fail to put things into practice. For when we have totally neglected to practice something, our memory of it will gradually disappear. Blessed Augustine: First Homily on First Epistle of John, N&PN Fathers, Vol. VII; pp. 463-464. For see what He saith, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us." Consequently, if thou hast confessed thyself a sinner, the truth is in thee: for the Truth itself is light. Thy life hath not yet shone in perfect brightness, because there are sins in thee; but yet thou hast already begun to be enlightened, because there is in thee the confession of sins. For see what follows: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to purge us from all iniquity." Not only the past, but haply if we have contracted any from this life; because a man, so long as he bears the flesh, cannot but have some at any rate light sins. But these which we call light, do not thou make light of. If thou make light of them when thou weighest them, be afraid when thou countest them. Many light make one huge sin: many drops fill the river; many grains make the lump. And what hope is there? Before all, confession: lest any think himself righteous, and before the eyes of God who seeth that which is, man, that was not and is, lift up the neck. Before all, then, confession; then, love: for of charity what is said? "Charity covers a multitude of sins" Ignatius of Antioch: Ante-Nicene Fathers; Vol. I; Epistle to the Ephesians, Chapter 10, p.54 See, then, that they be instructed by your works, if in no other way. Be ye meek in response to their wrath, humble in opposition to their boasting: to their blasphemies return your prayers; in contrast to their error, be ye steadfast in the faith; and for their cruelty, manifest your gentleness. While we take care not to imitate their conduct, let us be found their brethren in all true kindness; and let us seek to be followers of the Lord (who ever more unjustly treated, more destitute, more condemned?), that so no plant of the devil may be found in you, but ye may remain in all holiness and sobriety in Jesus Christ, both with respect to the flesh and spirit. Meditation Within the context of the Ancient Christian Church, initial confession of sins was followed by confession of the Faith and then sins were washed away through Baptism. Sins committed after Baptism were able to be cleansed through the Mystery of Repentance with confession of sins. This cleansing prepares us to participate in a family, a community of co-strugglers that are seeking to share Divine Life together, called the Church. Many of us have been for one reason or another turned off from the traditional Church. For most of us it has been because we thought the Church is

only what we see around us on earth. Yet the Church is rooted in heaven. It is centered around the Holy Trinity. The Lord Jesus Christ is her foundation. A community of Apostles, Martyrs, God-filled holy beings full of Divine Light! They used to be soldiers, prostitutes, senators, slaves, kings and queens, homeless wanderers, humble mothers and fathers, little children. In other words, human beings from all walks of life that began on this same life-transforming journey. Now we call them saints or holy ones. It has been said that a saint is a sinner who didn't give up. Being connected to the Ancient Church is to first attach yourself to the perfect Church in heaven through repentance, faith and Baptism, and then, through the priestly ministry, to join the Church on earth and struggle together with others for purity of heart. STEP NUMBER SEVEN I now repent from all these behaviors in thought, word and deed, and ask God to remove each enslaving sin, through the mercies of Jesus Christ. Holy Scripture: Mark 1:4 John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins. (KJV) Mark 1:14-15 Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, and saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel (KJV) Luke 24:46-47 And [Jesus] said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day: And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.(KJV) Acts 2:37-40 Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. And with many other words did he testify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation. (KJV) Eph 4:22-5:21 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear

children; and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor. But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Wherefore he saith, 'Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead,' and Christ shall give thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Col 3:1-17 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: for which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: in the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (KJV) Holy Fathers: St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol.3, Introduction, p. 84. If we so wish, however, God's second gift of grace - repentance - can lead us back to our former beauty. But if we fail to repent, inevitably we will depart with the unrepentant demons into age long punishment, more by our own free choice than against our will. Yet God did not create us for wrath but for salvation (cf. 1 Thes. 5:9), so that we might enjoy His blessings... We have to make strenuous efforts when we first try to return to where we fell from. For we resent abandoning our own desires, and we think that we can

carry out both God's wishes and our own - which is impossible. Our Lord Himself said, "I have come to do, not My own will, but the will of the Father which sent Me" (cf. John 6:38), even though the will of Father, Son and Holy Spirit is one, since they constitute a single inseparable nature. But He said this on our account and with respect to the will of the flesh. For if the flesh is not consumed and if a man is not wholly led by the Spirit of God, he will not do the will of God unless he is forced to. St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol.I, On the Spiritual Law: 92. p. 116. Many have fought in various ways against circumstances; but without prayer and repentance no one has escaped evil. 119. p. 118. When you sin, blame your thought, not your action. For had your intellect not run ahead, your body would not have followed. 134. p. 119. Those engaged in spiritual warfare practice self-control in everything, and do not desist until the Lord destroys all "seed from Babylon" (Jer.27:16 LXX). 136. p. 119 Sin is a blazing fire. The less fuel you give it, the faster it dies down; the more you feed it, the more it burns. 184-186. pp. 122-123. God assesses our action according to our intention; for it is said that the Lord will "reward you according to your heart" (Ps.20:4). He who does not persevere in examining his conscience will not endure bodily suffering for God's sake. The conscience is nature's book. He who applies what he reads there experiences God's help. 189. p.123 If a man tries to overcome temptations without prayer and patient endurance, he will become more entangled in them instead of driving them away. St. Mark the Ascetic: Philokalia, Vol. I; No Righteousness By Works 94. p.133. Pray persistently about everything, and then you will never do anything without God's help. 106. pp. 133-134. Escape from temptation through patience and prayer. If you oppose temptation without these, it only attacks you more strongly. 159-161. p.139. He who is under the power of sin cannot by himself prevail over the will of the flesh, because he suffers continual stimulation in all his members. Those who are under the sway of passions must pray and be obedient. For even when they receive help, they can only just mange to fight against their prepossessions. He who tries conquer his own will by means of obedience and prayer is following a wise ascetic method. His renunciation of external things indicates his inward struggle. 23. p.127. We who have received baptism offer good works, not by way of repayment, but to preserve the purity given to us. Meditation Repentance is a redirection. It means a change of mind, focus, direction. We turn from those things that are destroying ourselves and others and we turn toward God and Life! We turn from evil and begin to do good. But quickly we learn that there is "none good but God." (Mk. 10:18) As Jesus said, "Without Me you can do nothing." (Jn. 15:5) Thus, we discover the need of prayer. Jesus spoke of two ways of prayer in Luke 18: the self-righteous Pharisee boasting to God and himself or the conscience smitten tax collector, beating his breast, asking for mercy. This parable is what led to the most common prayer in the Ancient Orthodox Church: the Jesus Prayer. Simply stated it is: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." As we constantly call upon the name of the Lord, we find that progressively we are being saved from our selfish passions and ways and begin to drink in the mercy of God. STEP NUMBER EIGHT I now make a list of all persons I have harmed in thought, word and deed, and a

list of all persons I believe have harmed me, and seek to make amends to all of them Holy Scripture: Rom 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. (KJV) Matt 5:23-26 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing. (KJV) Matt 5:43-45 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. (KJV) Luke 19:8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; 'Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold.'"(KJV) Holy Fathers: St. Peter of Damascus: Philokalia, Vol III, Spurious Knowledge, p.200.. By listing the forms of passion that tyrannize us, we are led to take refuge in our Master and brought to a state of contrition. We pray for those whom we have distressed, and for those who have distressed us, or who will distress us, because we do not want to harbor the least trace of rancor, and because we fear that on account of our weakness we will not be able to endure with forbearance when the time comes or to pray for those who mistreat us, as the Lord commands (cf. Lk.6:28). Blessed Theophylact: The Explanation by Blessed Theophylact of the Gospel According to St. Matthew, pp. 50-51. On "First be reconciled:" God disregards His own honor solely that we might love one another. He said, "If thy brother have aught against thee," and added nothing more. Whether rightly or wrongly your brother has anything against you, be reconciled. And Jesus did not say, "If thou hast aught against him," but, "If he hath aught against thee" hasten to make him your friend. He commands you to leave the gift so that you will be compelled to be reconciled. For when you intend to make an offering, you must first be reconciled. At the same time the Lord shows that love is the true sacrifice. On "Agree with thine adversary quickly..." Some believe the "adversary" to mean the devil, and "the way" to mean our life. The Lord is thus exhorting us: while you are still in this life, give back to the devil what belongs to him and be done with him, so that later he will not be able to accuse you of some sin, as if you had something that belonged to him. For then you will be handed over for punishment so that you make an accounting for even the smallest transgressions. For a farthing equals two mites. You, O reader, understand that this passage also refers to human lawsuits, lest we be distracted from doing the works of God. Even

if you have been wronged, He says, do not enter the court but settle the dispute while still on the way, lest you suffer something worse on account of your adversary's power. Blessed Augustine: N&PNF First Series, Vol. 6; The Works of St. Augustine, Our Lord's Sermon on the Mount, pp. 12-13. When we are about to present any such offering [whatever offering we present to God, whether prophecy, or teaching, or prayer, or a psalm, or a hymn, and whatever other such like spiritual gift occurs to the mind] in our heart, i.e. in the inner temple of God ("for", as it is said, "the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are;" and, "that Christ may dwell in the inner man by faith in your hearts") if it occur to our mind that a brother hath ought against us, i.e. if we have injured him in anything (for then he has something against us; whereas we have something against him if has injured us, and in that case it is not necessary to proceed to reconciliation: for you will not ask pardon of one who has done you an injury, but merely forgive him, as you desire to be forgiven by the Lord what you have committed against Him), we are therefore to proceed to reconciliation, when it has occurred to our mind that we have perhaps injured our brother in something; but this is to be done not with the bodily feet, but with the emotions of the mind, so that you are to prostrate yourself with humble disposition before your brother, to whom you have hastened in affectionate thought, in the presence of Him to whom you are about to present your offering. For thus, even if he should be present, you will be able to soften him to goodwill by asking pardon, if first you have done this before God, going to him not with the slow movement of the body, but with the very swift impulse of love; and then coming, i.e. recalling your attention to that which you were beginning to do, you will offer your gift. St. John Chrysostom: N&PNF, First Series, Vol. 11; The Epistle to the Romans, Homily XXII on Rom.12:18, p. 508. "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." This is that: "let your light shine before men" (Matt. 5:16), not that we are not to give those who have a mind for it a handle against us. Whence he says also in another place, "Give none offense, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the Church of God." (1 Cor.10:32). And in what follows he limits his meaning well, by saying, "If it be possible." For there are cases in which it is not possible, as, for instance, when we have to argue about religion, or to contend for those who are wronged. And why be surprised if this be not universally possible in the case of other persons, when even in the case of man and wife he broke through the rule? "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart." (1 Cor. 7:15). And his meaning is nearly as follows: Do thine own part, and to none give occasion of war or fighting, neither to Jew nor Gentile. But if you see the cause of religion suffering anywhere, do not prize concord above truth, but make a noble stand even to death. And even then be not at war in soul, be not averse in temper, but fight with the things only. For this is the import of "as much as in you lieth, be at peace with all men." But if the other will not be at peace, do not thou fill thy soul with tempest, but in mind be friendly as I said before, without giving up the truth on any occasion. Meditation The Cross has two primary beams. One reaches up vertically, representing our relationship with God. The other stretches out horizontally, representing our relationship with man. Up until now the previous steps have especially focused on our relationship with God. Step number eight deals with the horizontal bar. It is the work of dealing with broken relationships and those that we've offended as we begin the process of healing. It starts simply with a list and an inward commitment - a commitment to seek to make amends to all who have been offended at us. This means that we move away from blame and fault finding. Instead we search our own souls for the things

in us that added to or caused the relationship to be broken or hurt. We then let this sink into our souls so as to develop a humble, softened feeling toward those we've offended. This precedes our initial contact for reconciliation. STEP NUMBER NINE I now go directly to these persons to seek forgiveness, reconciliation, restitution or release, whenever and with whomever possible, unless to do so would cause further harm. Holy Scripture: Eph 4:26: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. (KJV) Prov 6:1-5: My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger, Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth. Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend. Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids. Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler. (KJV) Exodus 22:1,6 If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep, and kill it, or sell it; he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep. If fire break out, and catch in thorns, so that the stacks of corn, or the standing corn, or the field, be consumed therewith; he that kindled the fire shall surely make restitution. Leviticus 6:1-5 And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, 'If a soul sin, and commit a trespass against the Lord, and lie unto his neighbor in that which was delivered him to keep, or in fellowship, or in a thing taken away by violence, or hath deceived his neighbor; or have found that which was lost, and lieth concerning it, and sweareth falsely; in any of all these things that a man doeth, sinning therein: then it shall be, because he hath sinned, and is guilty, that he shall restore that which he took violently away, or the thing which he hath deceitfully gotten, or that which was delivered him to keep, or the lost thing which he found, or all about which he hath sworn falsely; he shall even restore it in the principal, and shall add the fifth part more thereto, and give it unto him to whom it appertaineth, in the day of his trespass offering.'" Holy Fathers: Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev: The Forgotten Medicine: Rules for a Saving Confession, pp. 55-57. We must pay special attention to the following three points: 1. If you have enmity against someone, forgive with all your heart, so that God will also forgive you. (cf. Mt. 6:14-15).. Otherwise, your confession will be in vain. 2. Others who have admitted in Confession that they have violated their celibacy or family honor must give up the bad road forever. They cannot love both the sin and God. A philosopher once went boating in the sea. There was a strong storm which almost overturned his boat. It was a miracle that he survived. He came back home and, since one of his windows was overlooking the sea, immediately walled up that window, so that he would not look towards the sea and fall into the temptation of

wanting to go boating again. Oh, Christian, how many times you, too, have almost lost both your life and your soul in the sea of lewd love! You have been delivered by a miracle. Now avoid the causes for it! Do not go by that road anymore. Do not enter that house anymore. Do not look toward that window anymore. Close your eyes so that the temptation will not enter your heart. Otherwise, you will perish! 3. Finally, if you have misappropriated another's possession, if you have robbed someone, return that which does not belong to you. Otherwise, there is no forgiveness for you. If you blaspheme God's name, if you deny Orthodoxy, if you are angry, if you are proud, if you envy, or commit other heavy sins - when you repent, everything will be forgiven you. Why? Because with all of these sins you offend God, and God has made the priest His representative for all these sins with which men offend Him. As God's representative, the priest can forgive you the sins against God if you repent. However, if you keep another's property and confess it but do not return it, the priest does not have the right to forgive you. If you are holding in your hands the property of some poor man, how can the priest forgive you for this sin? The poor man has not made the priest his substitute and has not given him the power to forgive his stolen property on his behalf. But you will say, "I give alms to the monasteries and the poor!" Be quiet! No law, either of God or of man, allows anyone to give away as a gift to someone another man's property. Therefore, in order to receive forgiveness from God, return that which does not belong to you! Abba John the Dwarf: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #39, p. 93. "A house is not built by beginning at the top and working down. You must begin with the foundations in order to reach the top." They said to him, "What does this saying mean?" He said, "The foundation is our neighbor, whom we must win, and that is the place to begin. For all the commandments of Christ depend on this one." Abba Anthony the Great: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #9, p. 3 Our life and our death is with our neighbor. If we gain our brother, we have gained God, but if we scandalize our brother, we have sinned against Christ. Abba Agathon: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #4, p. 20. I have never gone to sleep with a grievance against anyone, and, as far as I could, I have never let anyone go to sleep with a grievance against me. Meditation To forgive is to put the offense behind us and to consider the entry erased on the person's account. To be reconciled is to be reconnected in relationship and no longer an enemy. To make restitution is to pay back or restore what was lost or broken when something was under our care, or when we stole something. To seek release is appropriate when so much has happened or so much is owed that there is no human possibility of repayment. In such a case we seek with deep humility our release from the obligation. Time does not necessarily heal. But when your attempts at peace only make things worse, a delay of time can provide you a chance to pray more and can provide further insight to hidden attitudes in yourself that blocked reconciliation. STEP NUMBER TEN I now consciously and prayerfully continue to "walk in the light" by unceasingly taking personal inventory of all my temptations and sins, and by keeping a

constantly open relationship with God, myself, and other persons to whom I am accountable. Holy John Then then make

Scripture: 8:31-32 said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall you free. (KJV)

Heb 10:35-39 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul. (KJV) 1 John 2:6-11 He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked. Brethren, I write no new commandment unto you, but an old commandment which ye had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word which ye have heard from the beginning. Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth. He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. (KJV) 1 John 2:24 Let that therefore abide in you, which ye have heard from the beginning. If that which ye have heard from the beginning shall remain in you, ye also shall continue in the Son, and in the Father. (KJV) 2 Cor 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? (KJV) Acts 24:16 And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offense toward God, and toward men. (KJV) Heb 12:14-17 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. (KJV) Holy Fathers: St. Hesychios the Priest: Philokalia, Vol.I; On Watchfulness and Holiness: #65. p.174. St. Basil the Great, mouthpiece of Christ and pillar of the Church, says that a great help towards not sinning and committing daily the same faults is for us to review in our conscience at the end of each day what we have done wrong and what we have done right. Job did this with regard both to himself and to his children. (cf. Job 1:5). These daily reckonings illumine a man's hour by hour

behavior. #2. p.162 The great lawgiver Moses - or rather, the Holy Spirit - indicates the pure, comprehensive and ennobling character of this virtue [watchfulness], and teaches us how to acquire and perfect it. when he says: " Be attentive to yourself, lest there arise in your heart a secret thing which is an iniquity" (Deut. 15:9 LXX). Here the phrase "a secret thing" refers to the first appearance of an evil thought. This the Fathers call a provocation introduced into the heart by the devil. As soon as this thought appears in our intellect, our own thoughts chase after it and enter into impassioned intercourse with it. #8. pp. 163-164. When the mind, taking refuge in Christ and calling upon Him, stands firm and repels its unseen enemies, like a wild beast facing a pack of hounds from a good position of defense, then it inwardly anticipates their inner ambuscades well in advance. Through continually invoking Jesus the peacemaker against them, it remains invulnerable. #14-18. pp. 164-165. One type of watchfulness consists in closely scrutinizing every mental image or provocation; for only by means of a mental image can Satan fabricate an evil thought and insinuate this into the intellect in order to lead it astray. A second type of watchfulness consists in freeing the heart from all thoughts, keeping it profoundly silent and still, and in praying. A third type consists in continually and humbly calling upon the Lord Jesus Christ for help. A fourth type is always to have the thought of death in one's mind. These types of watchfulness, my child, act like doorkeepers and bar entry to evil thoughts. Meditation The key words in Step Number Ten are "continue," "unceasingly," and "constantly." Fr. Seraphim Rose said that one of the major qualities needed for Christians in these times is constancy. (Not Of This World, Monk Damascene Christensen; p. 456.) Once someone asked one of the Desert Fathers, "What do you do all day long?" He simply said, "We fall down and get back up, we fall down and get back up, we fall down and get back up." He, of course, was referring to both the daily prayers and prostrations, as well as one of the major keys to the spiritual life: to get back up and continue after a fall. At the end of each day, we confess our sins to God and thank Him for whatever good occurred that day. As we keep this confessing relationship open and current with others, we thereby shut off our old tendency towards hiding in the darkness. Through constant practice this becomes an habit and our soul becomes accustomed to living in the light. STEP NUMBER ELEVEN I now continue in regular Scripture study, spiritual reading, prayer, worship and fellowship to increase God's will in my life. Holy Scripture: 2 Tim 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (KJV) 2 Tim 3:14-17 But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all

good works. (KJV) 1 Tim 4:13 Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. (KJV) Acts 2:42, 46-47 And they continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God, and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. (KJV) 1 Thes 5:16-18 Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (KJV) Eph 5:18-21 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. (KJV) Col 3:14-17 Above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (KJV) Holy Fathers: St. John Chrysostom: N&PNF, First Series, Vol. 13; Homilies on Ephesians, XIX, p. 138. Dost thou wish to be cheerful, dost thou wish to employ the day? I give thee spiritual drink; for drunkenness even cuts off the articulate sound of our tongue; it makes us lisp and stammer, and distorts our eyes, and the whole frame together. Learn to sing psalms, and thou shalt see the delightfulness of the employment. For they who sing psalms are filled with the Holy Spirit, as they who sing satanic songs are filled with an unclean spirit. St. John Chrysostom: N&PNF, First Series, Vol. 13; Homilies on Colossians, IX, pp. 300-301. Tarry not, I entreat, for another to teach thee; thou hast the oracles of God. No man teacheth thee as they; for he [the selfish man] indeed oft grudgeth much for vainglory's sake and envy. Hearken, I entreat you, all ye that are careful for this life, and procure books that will be medicines for the soul. If ye will not any other, yet get you at least the New Testament, the Apostolic Epistles, the Acts, the Gospels, for your constant teachers. If grief befall thee, dive into them as into a chest of medicines; take thence comfort of thy trouble, be it loss, or death, or bereavement of relations; or rather dive into them merely, but take them wholly to thee; keep them in thy mind. This is the cause of all evils, the not knowing the Scriptures. Abba Benjamin: Sayings of the Desert Fathers, #4, p.44. As he was dying, Abba Benjamin said to his sons, "If you observe the following, you can be saved, "Be joyful at all times, pray

without ceasing and give thanks for all things." Meditation Again we have the word "continue." Fr. Seraphim Rose spoke of the need for "daily injections" of inspiration. (NOTW, pp. 456-7) From the earliest description of community life among early Christians in the Book of Acts, we find these elements: Acts 2: 42: "They continued steadfastly in the Apostles' teaching..." This is the place of Scripture study and spiritual reading. Reading the Gospels and Epistles is like listening to the Apostles telling us the story of Christ and Christianity personally. Reading the writings of the Holy Fathers and lives of saints inspires us as to how to put the teaching into practice. "... and fellowship." The Greek word "koinonia" meant "common life" or life shared together. Even those that were called to be hermits still saw themselves as part of the Church community. Their prayers weren't only beneficial for their own souls, but for the whole world as well. Wherever we are, let's gather with like minded strugglers and share this common life. "...the Breaking of Bread." Their worship was centered around the Body and Blood of Christ. Repentance and confession removed the sins, but the Body and Blood of Christ brought in the very Divine nature to the souls of the Christians. His Divine Life united them with "oneness of soul." Now they had power to live a different kind of life. "...and to Prayers." Prayer personally and together is our lifeline. St. Paul said, "Pray without ceasing." (1 Thess. 5:17) The early Christians used to stop for prayer every three hours. Their life together was centered around morning and evening prayer. We know how easily temptations of this world can be to pull us away. A daily momentum of prayer together gives us strength "not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good." (Rom. 12:21) STEP NUMBER TWELVE Recognizing the impact of God in my life, I now intentionally share these principles and their effect with others as God's Spirit leads, and will seek to practice these principles in all areas of my life. Holy Scripture: Matt 5:14-16 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (KJV) Acts 1:8 But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. (KJV) Acts 2:46-47 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God, and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. (KJV)

Acts 19:17-20 And this was known to all the Jews and Greeks also dwelling at Ephesus; and fear fell on them all, and the name of the Lord Jesus was magnified. And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed. (KJV) Col 4:5-6 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. (KJV) 1 Pet 3:15-16 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. (KJV) 1 Cor 9:24-27 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. (KJV) 2 Tim 1:6-7 Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (KJV) Holy Fathers: Blessed Clement of Alexandria: Ante-Nicene Fathers, Vol. 2; The Stromata, Book One, Chapter I, p.302. Wells, when pumped out, yield purer water; and that of which no one partakes, turns to putrefaction. Use keeps steel brighter, but disuse produces rust in it. For, in a word, exercise produces a healthy condition both in souls and bodies. "No one lighteth a candle, and putteth it under a bushel, but upon a candlestick, that it may give light to those who are regarded worthy of the feast." Blessed Theophylact: The Explanation by Blessed Theophylact of the Holy Gospel according to St. Matthew, p. 47. "A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid." He teaches them to struggle and to be strict in living a virtuous life, for they will be in view of all. Do not imagine, He says, that you will be hidden away in some corner, for you will be most visible. See to it, then, that you live blamelessly, lest you become a stumbling block for others. Athenagoras: The Early Christians; A Plea Regarding Christians, XI, pp. 96-97. Among us you can find uneducated people, artisans, and dear old mothers who would not be able to put into words the usefulness of their teaching, but by their deeds they demonstrate the usefulness of their principles. They do not repeat words learned by heart, but they show good deeds: when hit they do not hit back, when robbed they do not go to court, they give to those who ask, and they love their fellowmen as themselves.

Justin Martyr: The Early Christians; Dialogue With Trypho, 110:3,4, pp. 97-98. We do not give up our confession though we be executed by the sword, though we be crucified, thrown to wild beasts, put in chains, and exposed to fire and every other kind of torture. Everyone knows this. On the contrary, the more we are persecuted and martyred, the more do others in ever-increasing numbers become believers and God-fearing men through the name of Jesus. Justin Martyr: The Early Christians; First Apology XVI, p.98. He challenged us to lead everyone away from shamefulness and pleasure in evil by patience and kindness. We can in fact show that many who were once among you have been transformed in this way. They gave up their violent and domineering ways. Either they were conquered by the sight of their neighbors' patient life. or they were convinced by noticing the extraordinary kindness and patience of some defrauded traveling companions, or they were overcome by encountering and testing this attitude in people with whom they had business dealings. St. Clement of Rome: The Early Christians; 2nd Letter of Clement, p.275. Those who are lost must be saved. It is a great and wonderful thing to support, not what is standing, but what is collapsing. Thus it was the Messiah's will to save what was lost, and He saved many when He came and called us who were already lost. What then can we offer Him in return as our thanks and recompense? Only this, that we confess Him through whom we were saved! But how do we confess Him? By doing what He says and not ignoring His commandments so that we honor Him not only with our lips but rather with all our heart and soul. So then, brothers, let us confess Him with our actions by loving one another, by not committing adultery, not speaking evil of each other, and not being envious, and by being self-controlled, compassionate and kind! We ought to suffer together the things which are hard to bear. It is our obligation not to love money. We want to confess Him with such actions and not do the opposite. Meditation In a darkened room, any dim flicker will appear bright. As we begin to purify ourselves, the light of Jesus Christ will inevitably spark others around us. St. Seraphim of Sarov said, "Acquire inward peace and thousands around you will be saved." Someone once said, "You might be the only Bible some people will ever read." May we be given grace and strength to do the hard work of purifying our hearts so that others might have the opportunity of salvation. "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Love of God the Father, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all." Amen.

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