Writers Forum

Writers’ Forum (women Scape) 2nd Issue- June- 2008 Editors: Dr. Rameshchandra Mukhopadhyaya Nandita Bhattacharya R-19, Dakbunglow Road P.O. Midnapore Town Dist. Paschim Medinipur Pin-721101 Contacts: 09331220711,09434028287 e-mail: [email protected] office

Instesd of an editorial

Dedicated

CONTENT STATUS OF WOMEN IN INDIA AND THEIR CHANGING ROLE

to the memory of a tall man

Shibnaryan Misra 2

from Orissa Shib Bhai who checked out from the hotel Hilton of the world giving no intimation to anyone of his sudden setting out for the land from whose bourne no man returns.

IDLE THOUGHTS OFAWOMAN COMMUNICATED TOAREADER

HEALTHAND NUTRITIONALISSUES

Cover design: Somnath Bhattacharya

A professor turned diaster manager of Red Cross, Shib Bhai was no chair philosopher but a man of action who catered love and humour where ever he went. This issue of Writers Forum opens with an article of Shib bhai.

Price:Rs.20/-

Om Shanti

Published by: Dr. Rameshchandra Mukhopadhyaya on behalf of Writers’Forum R-19 ,Dakbunglow Road, Paschim Medinipur Printed at Sharp line 5 Duff Street Kolkata700006

Dr. Ramesh Ch Mukhopadhyaya

Mandira Mukherjee 11 THEGLASSCEILING Mukta Vasudeva 13 WOMEN :AJOURNEYOF PROSTITUTION Dr. Zarina John Choudhury 17

IN THE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN Dr. Anima Sharma 20 THE LETTER FROM SOUMYA... Seema Sing 23 HINDUWOMANAND DIVORCE Ranjit Roy 51 AN UNFORGETTABLE MEMORY Nirjharini Das 59 NIKAH Nayana Begum 61-64

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Status Of Women In India And Their Changing Role Shibnaryan Misra Introductory Quotes You can tell the condition of a nation by looking at the status of its women. Jawaharlal Nehru However much a mother may love her children, it is all but impossible for her to provide high-quality child care if she herself is poor and oppressed, illiterate and uninformed, anaemic and unhealthy, has five or six other children, lives in a slum or shanty, has neither clean water nor safe sanitation, and if she is without the necessary support either from health services, or from her society, or from the father of her childen.

VulimiriRamalingaswami,“TheAsian Enigma” The women who participate in and lead ecology movements in countries like India are not speaking merely as victims. Their voices are the voices of liberation and transformation. . . The women’s and ecology movements are therefore one, and are primarily counter-trends to a patriarchal maldevelopment. Vandana Shiva 3

Introduction A female in rural India faces some of the harshest discrimination in the world. Every phase of her life may be shaped by malnutrition, denial of selfhood and lack of voice in the decisions that affect her life. The social and economic conditions that subjugate women are expressed and reinforced by the institution of dowry. To secure a husband for their daughter, a girl’s parents must pay up to five times their annual income in dowry “gifts” to the husband’s family. As a result, having a girl is a great burden, while having a boy is a great asset. Although dowry has been illegal since 1961, its practice is flourishing and on the rise, cutting across all classes and castes. For most women, there is no way out. Subjugation and submission are a pervasive pattern, enforced by violence and the threat of violence throughout their lives. India: An Overview India, with a population of 989 million, is the world’s second most populous country. Of that number, 120 million are women who live in poverty. India has 16 percent of the world’s population, but only 2.4 percent of its land, resulting in great pressures on its natural resources. Over 70 percent of India’s population currently derive their livelihood from land resources, which includes 84 percent of the economically-active women. India is one of the few countries where males significantly outnumber females, and this imbalance has increased over time. India’s maternal mortality rates in rural areas are among the world’s highest. From a global 4

perspective, Indian accounts for 19 percent of all lives births and 27 percent of all maternal deaths. “There seems to be a consensus that higher female mortality between ages one and five and high maternal mortality rates result in a deficit of females in the population. Chatterjee (1990) estimates that deaths of young girls in India exceed those of young boys by over 300,000 each year, and every sixth infant death is specifically due to gender discrimination.” Of the 15 million baby girls born in India each year, nearly 25 percent will not live to see their 15th birthday. Although India was the first country to announce an official family planning program in 1952, its population grew from 361 million in 1951 to 844 million in 1991. India’s total fertility rate of 3.8 births per woman can be considered moderate by world standards, but the sheer magnitude of population increase has resulted in such a feeling of urgency that containment of population growth is listed as one of the six most important objectives in the Eighth Five-Year Plan.” Since 1970, the use of modern contraceptive methods has risen from 10 percent to 40 percent, with great variance between northern and southern India. The most striking aspect of contraceptive use in India is the predominance of sterilization, which accounts for more than 85 percent of total modern contraception use, with female sterilization accounting for 90 percent of all sterilizations. The Indian constitution grants women equal rights with men, but strong patriarchal traditions persist, with women’s lives shaped by customs that are centuries old. In most Indian families, a daughter is viewed as a liability, and she is conditioned to believe that she is inferior and subordinate to men. Sons are idolized and celebrated. May you be the mother of a hundred sons is a common Hindu wedding blessing.

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Issues and Challenges The persistence of hunger and abject poverty in India and other parts of the world is due in large measure to the subjugation, marginalization and disempowerment of women. Women suffer from hunger and poverty in greater numbers and to a great degree then men. At the same time, it is women who bear the primary responsibility for actions needed to end hunger: education, nutrition, health and family income. Looking through the lens of hunger and poverty, there are seven major areas of discrimination against women in India: Malnutrition: India has exceptionally high rates of child malnutrition, because tradition in India requires that women eat last and least throughout their lives, even when pregnant and lactating. Malnourished women give birth to malnourished children, perpetuating the cycle. “…the poor care that is afforded to girls and women by their husbands and by elders is the first major reason for levels of child malnutrition that are markedly higher in SouthAsia than anywhere else in the world.” “Gender disparities in nutrition are evident from infancy to adulthood. In fact, gender has been the most statistically significant determinant of malnutrition among young children and malnutrition is a frequent direct or underlying cause of death among girls below age 5. Girls are breast-fed less frequently and for shorter durations in infancy; in childhood and adulthood, males are fed first and better. Adult women consume approximately 1,000 fewer calories per day than men according to one estimate from Punjab. Comparison of household dietary intake studies in different parts of the country shows that nutritional equity between males and females is lower in northern than in southern states.” Nutritional deprivation has two major consequences for women: they never reach their full growth potential and anaemia. Both are risk factors in pregnancy, with anaemia ranging from 40-50 percent in urban areas to 6

Poor Health: Females receive less health care than males. Many women die in childbirth of easily prevented complications. Working conditions and environmental pollution further impairs women’s health. Surviving through a normal life cycle is a resource-poor woman’s greatest challenge. “The practice of breast-feeding female children for shorter periods of time reflects the strong desire for sons. If women are particularly anxious to have a male child, they may deliberately try to become pregnant again as soon as possible after a female is born. Conversely, women may consciously seek to avoid another pregnancy after the birth of a male child in order to give maximum attention to the new son.” A primary way that parents discriminate against their girl children is through neglect during illness. When sick, little girls are not taken to the doctor as frequently as are their brothers. A study in Punjab shows that medical expenditures for boys are 2.3 times higher than for girls. As adults, women get less health care than men. They tend to be less likely to admit that they are sick and they’ll wait until their sickness has progressed before they seek help or help is sought for them. Studies on attendance at rural primary health centers reveal that more males than females are treated in almost all parts of the country, with differences greater in northern hospitals than southern ones, pointing to regional differences in the value placed on women.Women’s socialization to tolerate suffering and their reluctance to be examined by male personnel are additional constraints in their getting adequate health care. Maternal Mortality India’s maternal mortality rates in rural areas are among the highest in the world. A factor that contributes to India’s high maternal mortality rate is the 7

reluctance to seek medical care for pregnancy — it is viewed as a temporary condition that will disappear. The estimates nationwide are that only 40-50 percent of women receive any antenatal care. Evidence from the states of Bihar, Rajasthan, Orissa, Uttar Pradesh, Maharashtra and Gujarat find registration for maternal and child health services to be as low as 5-22 percent in rural areas and 21-51 percent in urban areas. Even a woman who has had difficulties with previous pregnancies is usually treated with home remedies only for three reasons: the decision that a pregnant woman seek help rests with the mother-in-law and husband; financial considerations; and fear that the treatment may be more harmful than the malady. It is estimated that pregnancy-related deaths account for one-quarter of all fatalities among women aged 15 to 29, with well over two-thirds of them considered preventable. For every maternal death in India, an estimated 20 more women suffer from impaired health. One village-level study of rural women in Maharashtra determined on the basis of physical examinations that some 92 percent suffered from one or more gynecological disorder.

Contraception Use Women’s health is harmed by lack of access to and the poor quality of reproductive services. “About 24.6 million couples, representing roughly 18 percent of all married women, want no more children but are not using contraception. (Operations Research Group, 1990). The causes of this unmet need remain poorly understood, but a qualitative study in Tamil Nadu suggests that women’s lack of decision-making power in the family, opportunity costs involved in seeking contraception, fear of child death, and poor quality of contraceptive service all play an important role.” (Ravindran 1993). Some estimates suggest that some 5 million abortions are performed 8

annually in India, with the large majority being illegal.As a result, abortionrelated mortality is high.Although abortion has been legal since 1972 in India, “studies suggest that although official policy seeks to make pregnancy-termination services widely available, in practice guidelines on abortion limit access to services, particularly in rural areas. In 1981, of the 6,200 physicians trained to perform abortions, only 1,600 were working in rural areas.” Job impact on Maternal Health

Impact of Pollution on Women Women’s health is further harmed by air and water pollution and lack of sanitation. The impact of pollution and industrial wastes on health is considerable. In Environment, Development and the Gender Gap, Sandhya Venkateswaran asserts that “the high incidence of malnutrition present amongst women and their low metabolism and other health problems affect their capacity to deal with chemical stress. The smoke from household biomass (made up of wood, dung and crop residues) stoves within a three-hour period is equivalent to smoking 20 packs of cigarettes. For women who spend at least three hours per day cooking, often in a poorly ventilated area, the impact includes eye problems, respiratory problems, chronic bronchitis and lung cancer. One study quoted by WHO in 1991 found that pregnant women cooking over open biomass stoves had almost a 50 percent higher chance of stillbirth. Anaemia makes a person more susceptible to carbon monoxide toxicity, which is one of the main pollutants in the biomass smoke. Given the number of Indian women who are anaemic — 25 to 30 percent in the reproductive age group and almost 50 percent in the third trimester — this adds to their vulnerability to carbon monoxide toxicity. 9

Additionally, with an increasing population, diseases caused by waste disposal, such as hookworm, are rampant. People who work barefooted are particularly susceptible, and it has been found that hookworm is directly responsible for the high percentage of anaemia among rural women. Lack of education: Families are far less likely to educate girls than boys, and far more likely to pull them out of school, either to help out at home or from fear of violence. Women and girls receive far less education than men, due both to social norms and fears of violence. India has the largest population of non-school-going working girls. India’s constitution guarantees free primary school education for both boys and girls up to age 14. This goal has been repeatedly reconfirmed, but primary education in India is not universal. Overall, the literacy rate for women is 39 percent versus 64 percent for men. The rate for women in the four large northern states — Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh — is lower than the national average: it was 25 percent in 1991. Attendance rates from the 1981 census suggest that no more than 1/3 of all girls (and a lower proportion of rural girls) aged 5-14 are attending school. Although substantial progress has been achieved since India won its independence in 1947, when less than 8 percent of females were literate, the gains have not been rapid enough to keep pace with population growth: there were 16 million more illiterate females in 1991 than in 1981. Overwork: Women work longer hours and their work is more arduous than men’s, yet their work is unrecognized. Men report that “women, like children, eat and do nothing.” Technological progress in agriculture has had a negative impact on women. Women’s contribution to agriculture — whether it be subsistence farming or commercial agriculture — when measured in terms of the number of tasks performed and time spent, is greater than men. “The extent of 10

women’s contribution is aptly highlighted by a micro study conducted in the Indian Himalayas which found that on a one-hectare farm, a pair of bullocks works 1,064 hours, a man 1,212 hours and a woman 3,485 hours in a year.” “Girls learn to assist their mothers in almost all tasks, and from the age of 10 years participate fully in the agricultural work done by women. Mies cites the case of Laxmi, a three-year-old infant who, along with her mother, pulled seedlings for transplanting. Boys on the other hand were seldom seen transplanting or weeding though they did help out in ploughing or watering the fields.” “Not only do women perform more tasks, their work is also more arduous than that undertaken by men. Both transplantation and weeding require women to spend the whole day and work in muddy soil with their hands. Moreover, they work the entire day under the intensely hot sun while men’s work, such as ploughing and watering the fields, is invariably carried out early in the morning before the sun gets too hot. Mies argues that because women’s work, unlike men’s, does not involve implements and is based largely on human energy, it is considered unskilled and hence less productive. On this basis, women are invariably paid lower wages, despite the fact that they work harder and for longer hours than do men.” Women’s work is rarely recognized. Many maintain that women’s economic dependence on men impacts their power within the family. With increased participation in income-earning activities, not only will there be more income for the family, but gender inequalityshouldbereduce.ThisissueisparticularlysalientinIndiabecause studies show a very low level of female participation in the labor force. This under-reporting is attributed to the frequently held view that women’s work is not economically productive.

Women in the Informal Sector, the director of social welfare in one state said, “There are no women in any unorganized sector in our state.” When the Commission probed and asked, “Are there any women who go to the forest to collect firewood? Do any of the women in rural areas have cattle?” the director responded with, “Of course, there are many women doing that type of work.” Working women are invisible to most of the population. If all activities — including maintenance of kitchen gardens and poultry, grinding food grains, collecting water and firewood, etc. — are taken into account, then 88 percent of rural housewives and 66 percent of urban housewives can be considered as economically productive. Women’s employment in family farms or businesses is rarely recognized as economically productive, either by men or women.And, any income generated from this work is generally controlled by the men. Such work is unlikely to increase women’s participation in allocating family finances. In a 1992 study of family-based textile workers, male children who helped in a home-based handloom mill were given pocket money, but the adult women and girls were not. Unskilled: In women’s primary employment sector - agriculture extension services overlook women. Women have unequal access to resources.

In a report of the National Commission on Self-Employed Women and

Extension services tend to reach only men, which perpetuates the existing division of labour in the agricultural sector, with women continuing to perform unskilled tasks. A World Bank study in 1991 reveals that the assumption made by extension workers is that information within a family will be transmitted to the women by the men, which in actual practice seldom happens. “The male dominated extension system tends to overlook women’s role in agriculture and proves ineffective in providing technical information to women farmers.”

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Anumberoffactorsperpetuatewomen’slimitedjobskills:iftrainingwomen for economic activities requires them to leave their village, this is usually a problem for them. Unequal access to education restricts women’s abilities to learn skills that require even functional levels of literacy. In terms of skill development, women are impeded by their lack of mobility, low literacy levels and prejudiced attitudes toward women. When women negotiate with banks and government officials, they are often ostracized by other men and women in their community for being ‘too forward.’ Government and bank officials have preconceived ideas of what women are capable of , and stereotypes of what is considered women’s work. Violence against Women: In recent years, there has been an alarming rise in atrocities against women in India, in terms of rapes, assaults and dowry-related murders. Fear of violence suppresses the aspirations of all women. Female infanticide and sex-selective abortions are additional forms of violence that reflect the devaluing of females in Indian society. Male violence against women is a worldwide phenomenon.Although not every woman has experienced it, and many expect not to, fear of violence is an important factor in the lives of most women. It determines what they do, when they do it, where they do it, and with whom. Fear of violence is a cause of women’s lack of participation in activities beyond the home, as well as inside it. Within the home, women and girls may be subjected to physical and sexual abuse as punishment or as culturally justified assaults. These acts shape their attitude to life, and their expectations of themselves. The insecurity outside the household is today the greatest obstacle in the path of women. Conscious that, compared to the atrocities outside the house, atrocities within the house are endurable, women not only continued to accept their inferiority in the house and society, but even called it sweet. In recent years, there has been an alarming rise in atrocities against women in India. Every 26 minutes a woman is molested. Every 34 minutes a rape takes place. Every 42 minutes a sexual harassment incident occurs. Every 13

43 minutes a woman is kidnapped. And every 93 minutes a woman is burnt to death over dowry. One-quarter of the reported rapes involve girls under the age of 16 but the vast majority are never reported. Although the penalty is severe, convictions are rare. girls may be subjected to physical and sexual abuse as punishment or as culturally justified assaults. These acts shape their attitude to life, and their expectations of themselves. The insecurity outside the household is today the greatest obstacle in the path of women. Conscious that, compared to the atrocities outside the house, atrocities within the house are endurable, women not only continued to accept their inferiority in the house and society, but even called it sweet. In recent years, there has been an alarming rise in atrocities against women in India. Every 26 minutes a woman is molested. Every 34 minutes a rape takes place. Every 42 minutes a sexual harassment incident occurs. Every 43 minutes a woman is kidnapped. And every 93 minutes a woman is burnt to death over dowry. One-quarter of the reported rapes involve girls under the age of 16 but the vast majority are never reported. Although the penalty is severe, convictions are rare.

Abortion Of Female Fetuses The most extreme expression of the preference for sons is female infanticide and sex-selective abortion. A study of amniocentesis in a Bombay hospital found that 96 percent of female fetuses were aborted, compared with only a small percentage of male fetuses. “Government officials event suspect that the disproportionate abortion of 14

female fetuses may be a major underlying cause of the recent decline in the nation’s sex ratio. In 1971 there were 930 females for every 1,000 males. A decade later this figure had increased to 934, but by 1991, instead of continuing to rise, the ratio dropped to 927, lower than the 1971 figure. This sex ratio is one of the lowest in the world.” The most extreme expression of the preference for sons is female infanticide and sex-selective abortion. A study of amniocentesis in a Bombay hospital found that 96 percent of female fetuses were aborted, compared with only a small percentage of male fetuses. “Government officials event suspect that the disproportionate abortion of female fetuses may be a major underlying cause of the recent decline in the nation’s sex ratio. In 1971 there were 930 females for every 1,000 males. A decade later this figure had increased to 934, but by 1991, instead of continuing to rise, the ratio dropped to 927, lower than the 1971 figure. This sex ratio is one of the lowest in the world.” Government has passed legislation to curb the misuse of amniocentesis for sex selection and abortion of female fetuses. Women activists have been critical of this act because of its provision that calls for punishing the women who seek the procedure. These women may be under pressure to bear a male child. Powerlessness: While women are guaranteed equality under the constitution, legal protection has little effect in the face of prevailing patriarchal traditions. Women lack power to decide whom they will marry, and are often married off as children. Legal loopholes are used to deny women inheritance rights. Legal protection of women’s rights have little effect in the face of prevailing patriarchal traditions. Marriage: Women are subordinate in most marriages. 15

Exposure to and interactions with the outside world are instrumental in determining the possibilities available to women in their daily lives. The situation of women is affected by the degree of their autonomy or capacity to make decisions both inside and outside their own household. “Over the past several decades, however, marriage patterns have changed markedly. Social, economic, and demographic developments have made marriages between close relatives less common, and the bride price has given way to a dowry system akin to that in the north. Nevertheless, as long as the underlying ethic of marriage in the south remains the reinforcement of existing kinship ties, the relatively favorable situation of southern Indian women is unlikely to be threatened.”

Child Marriages Child marriages keep women subjugated. A1976 amendment to the Child Marriage RestraintActraisedtheminimum legal age for marriage from 15 to 18 for young women and from 18 to 21 foryoungmen.However,inmanyruralcommunities,illegalchildmarriages are still common. In some rural areas, nearly half the girls between 10 and 14 are married. Because there is pressure on women to prove their fertility by conceiving as soon as possible after marriage, adolescent marriage is synonymous with adolescent childbearing: roughly 10-15 percent of all births take place to women in their teens. Dowries: Women are kept subordinate, and are even murdered, by the practice of dowry. In India, 6,000 dowry murders are committed each year. This reality exists even though the Dowry Prohibition Act has been in existence for 33 years, and there are virtually no arrests under the Act. Since those giving as well as those accepting dowry are punishable under the existing 16

law, no one is willing to complain. It is only after a “dowry death” that the complaints become public. It is estimated that the average dowry today is equivalent to five times the family’s annual income and that the high cost of weddings and dowries is a major cause of indebtedness among India’s poor. Divorce: Divorce is not a viable option. Divorce is rare — it is a considered a shameful admission of a woman’s failure as a wife and daughter-in-law. In 1990, divorced women made up a miniscule 0.08 percent of the total female population. Maintenance rights of women in the case of divorce are weak.Although both Hindu and Muslim law recognize the rights of women and children to maintenance, in practice, maintenance is rarely set at a sufficient amount and is frequently violated. Both Hindu and Muslim personal laws fail to recognize matrimonial property. Upon divorce, women have no rights to their home or to other property accumulated during marriage; in effect, their contributions to the maintenance of the family and accumulation of family assets go unrecognized and unrewarded.

The Inextricable Link The greatest tragedy facing humanity today is the persistence of chronic hunger — an intolerable phenomenon that takes the lives of 24,000 of us every day. For fully one-fifth of humanity, life is a daily struggle to survive in conditions of relentless poverty. Day after day, the lives of one billion individuals are cut short or terribly diminished by chronic, persistent hunger. Day after day, one billion people are denied the opportunities they need to lead healthy and productive lives. 17

People living with chronic hunger exist in conditions of severe poverty. What they lack is the chance to change their situation, to develop their own self-sufficiency. The most potent confirmation of this fact can be seen in the lives of women. They, along with their children, are the main victims of hunger, and they are also most lacking in opportunities to end their own and their families’hunger. Traditionally, women bear primary responsibility for the well-being of their families. Yet they are systematically denied access to the resources they need to fulfill their responsibility, which includes education, health care services, job training, and access and freedom to use family planning services. In order to gain a shared understanding of the condition of the status of women in India and its impact on the persistence of hunger, this document surveys papers done by leading scholars in Indian development issues. It is organized in a framework of seven issues that characterize the plight of resource-poor women, with a focus on rural women, in India: malnutrition, poor health, lack of education, overwork, lack of skills, mistreatment and powerlessness. The link between these issues and the persistence of hunger in India was underscored in a 1996 study: The Asian Enigma, by Vulimiri Ramalingaswami: In short, the poor care that is afforded to girls and women by their husbands and by elders is the first major reason for levels of child malnutrition that are markedly higher in SouthAsia than anywhere else in the world. Conclusion: Human life gets reflected in external qualities such as health, mobility, education and awareness, status of family, participation in decision-making and also at the level of martial security . It also includes internal qualities such as self awareness and self confidence. Women’s empowerment thus implies strengthening women in order to 18

enable them to take control or at least influence decision making processes, to have access and control over resources, avail of opportunities and services ,demand their entitlements and exercise their right to a life free of fear ,violence and gender discrimination. While the notion of empowerments a role for and outside agency to come and empower women, it’s Used here in the sense of providing or creating enabling conditions whereby women may come into their own. There is much to be learnt in turn from their hidden strengths and wisdom whereby they survive in an unequal society. How are poor women to be empowered? There are many tried and tested strategies evolved at the grassroots: information and knowledge, awareness and understanding of gender relations and inequality, strengtheningtheircreditandeconomicbase,organizationandmobilization, building capacity at various levels and taking care of their practical gender needs which will provide an enabling environment. Empowerment thus needs to address all levels of gender inequality: social economic and political.

inequality and growing violence. Looking at the primary stakeholder’s analysis undertaken by OASES, poor women are Identified as a separate category with their own interest areas, which have been identified as securing altitudinal change among men within households, villages and beyond physical security, However many of their interest are synonymous with the interest of the poor in general, i.e., the categories of destitute poor, structural poor and mobile poor households. In addition, however, they also need access of entitlements of GOI, income during lean seasonDiversified sources of income and better services. The poorest woman are also a category among un organized labour, and as such need negotiation for wages, minimum wages and therefore strong bargaining power. As elected representatives, woman form and important political emptily, to be nurtured and strengthen .

Poverty no longer is a major of economic deprivation alone but equally of lack of control over recourses, of access to opportunities and other parameter according to the human development report. Addressing poverty would mean taking into account all such parameter. Un has estimated 70% Of the world’s are women. Women have a different experience of poverty then men. Over and above hunger and deprivation, this is compounded by mal-nutrition ill-health and illiteracy. Especially in households below the poverty line, distribution of all collective assets and income, of access to service, food, education, health, transport, and decision making etc, ae totally skewed against women/right That emphasizes women’s empowerment in the context of poverty alleviation, taking note of failure to ensure women’s entitlements gender 19

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responsibilities galore.

Idle thoughts of a Woman Communicated to a Reader Mandira Mukherjee

The fairer sex has submitted to being the great absorber like a king size sponge, to being customized and conditioned by the mediocrity at large. Sometimes in her life her mother teaches her to be as patient as the earth! She has to submit to being regarded as Goddess Durga and Lakshmi, as symbol of chastity and purity. What about being ordinary human mortals? Well... you will demur…to err is human; a woman is installed on a pedestal, is given so much honour and respect! Can you ordinary human beings create bonds with a deity? No you worship, expect, coax and cajole her to grant your wishes. But your ideas are nowhere near creating bonds with your goddess, like say, a man bonds with another male friend? If you are a man, you relax with a newspaper and your morning cuppa on a Sunday, talk shop with your friendly neighbour about the big fire in Barabazar, while expectations boil at your stomach.Yours truly is preparing something tasty repast in there. It is so hot and humid today! The fan in full speed cannot cool you. You guessed right! I am sympathetic with our married sisters. 80% of them spend the best part of their life in the kitchen. Fortunate, they consider themselves. Well, they are, indeed, better off being in the shadows of a male partner. Let us see, what happens when this shadow shifts; a divorce, an accident, a misfortune. The woman in question now stands alone, under the direct glare of curious eyes.

‘Why can’t a woman be more like a man,’ grieved Professor Higgins. Unconsciously, this man has triggered a trend of thoughts outside the boundaries of our conditioned beliefs and thought processes. You savvy reader may frown upon these few considerations manifested on this sheet of paper. Nevertheless, I am going to make, what you call noises despite your reservations. I am not talking about a woman’s rights and responsibilities. You will agree, a woman is given few rights but

Dear lady, even then, along with the additional burden of fending for herself, has to forsake her wishes to live her own life. The kind, well meaning fellowmen will loom upon her horizon. There will be others who will view her with contempt, while she struggles on to find a foothold and an identity of her own. She is an Indian, therefore financially in a disadvantageous position. While anAmerican single lady, even at a later period of her life, enjoys her new found freedom, travels alone, goes for a new course, our sister has to face indifference, contempt and often digs at her new seemingly dubious existence.Asingle man, on the other hand,

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has a better chance to live alone if he wants so. I asked two of my cousins, both in a way, separated from their husbands, what kind of attitudes they face as they socially interact. Both feel lonely because they have difficulty in creating a support group. Their friends often discourage their presence in their own households. Being single it seems a curse really.Awoman is not tolerated in our society to enjoy the freedom. Why can’t a woman enjoy both freedom and a social standing? Just where does it bite, may I ask?

and moves like a robot, abandoning all thoughts of her personal fulfillment. Can anybody suggest an alternate mode, by which she can still be brought back to the mainstream of life? When so many quests are going on to tap unconventional energy of Mother Nature; wind energy, solar energy and garbage energy, why not tap the modified energy of this resource, a woman cliffhanger. A free-lancer Mandira Chatterjeeis engaged in the field of education since long. Her articles have been sold abroad. She is from West Bengal.

You know, I have seen Debopriya (name changed) a very good friend of mine to struggle and slog for long hours to get her marriage working.As the only earning member of her family she has to provide for her paralysed husband, mother-in-law and her daughter’s education. It still would have been a very happy household, had she not to face the abuse and ill treatment from her husband. Ultimately, there is no comic relief to this sad story, as my friend was robbed of all her possessions including her shelter. Sushreya (name changed) has lost her husband to a fatal disease. To her own in-laws she has stopped living as well. They would be surprised if she requires anything for survival, for her daughter and herself. For a happy go lucky girl, who enjoyed all the frills that life has to offer, time suddenly comes to a grinding stop. Suddenly she finds that she has to push the rust of attitudes past her and walk ahead if she wants to survive. Once she commented to me, “You know, I get angry when I see a woman remaining sad and non- caring because life has taken away a happy period from her. Why doesn’t she feel that she has to get up and go and take things as they come?At least she should show some spirit to fight on!” Is marriage the last word for any social bonding? Then it appears that a woman for whom marriage did not work will be relegated to being alone for the rest of her days on earth. Life seems such a cheap commodity that overnight a positive minded and socially responsible woman becomes 23

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The wind blew her hair… like the strands had a life and a mind of their own, sometimes playfully covering her eyes, sometimes falling on her face completely, he smiled lovingly at her. He opened his lips to say something… "Shama!!!" the loud rebuke jolted her out of her reverie. The song that had sent her in it had long since finished and there was some advertisement on about how to make mother's day special this year. The running water from the tap had, as is its nature to, justified its existence by metamorphosing into a small water-fall. Pushed by its momentum, through persistent, frantic meandering, it had searched the path of least resistance to freedom… over ravines of dirty dishes; aesthetically angular handles of pots that led it to its ultimate free-fall down to the kitchen floor. "Shama!! Are you blind??!!" The hostility with which her name was spat made her resent her name the most at times… it had become the ultimate 'gali' and created misery in her. "I will clean it up na, don't lose your head over it!!" She shouted back with an inherited venom, back at it's source. Her mother looked at her devoid of malice now, but full of irritation. "Bibiji gets so mad when she sees you waste so much water and so much cleaning detergent, I get such a hard time, are you here to help me or make my life worse?" Shama's mother was already down on her knees speedily mopping up the placid puddles of the spent water-fall.

Mrs. Gupta moved swiftly from the table to answer the phone as it shrilled urgently. She knew it would be a sobbing Reena.Again the same heartburn for Mrs. Gupta as she played the ever shuttling bearer of stubborn stands on behalf of her husband and daughter. As she numbly replaced the phone, she looked vaguely at the kitchen, distracted by the voices. She remembered how Shama used to follow Reena around like a duckling. Neeta was always busy in her own world, but Reena cared. How Reena would hastily leave the kitchen in slight embarrassment at being asked to step aside so Sita could sweep the area under her feet! That was her daughter, always ready to pick a fight with Sita. "And why did you make her leave school again?" Demanding angrily."She has been failing for the last three years didi!" Sita would say smilingly without retaliation, sitting upright from the floor, adjusting her pallu on her head. "I have been paying thirty-five rupeess every year, apart from school uniforms, books, lunch money and other expenses, and she keeps failing class three!", Shama would giggle shyly at being discussed. "Really but she could have tried again one more time there was no harm is trying I am sure she can do it", Reena would keep arguing, irked. "I don't really want to study didi", Shama would finally say with embarrassed laughter. Mrs. Gupta would chime in good naturedly that it was a question of the child's choice, she was always more interested in clothes and earrings now than in doing math.At least now she was earning good money and helping her mother. Logic. Reena hated that pragmatic logic. On and on she would argue, "She will earn much more than you without breaking her back if she can just finish school". "We can find work in some shop part-time, we are there to help her!". "I can send her to College, imagine her life will be so different!!" "Try to imagine what a better life you could have, look beyond all this marriage stuff." Her enthusiasm would turn into irritation and slowly anger, until she gave up. Reena would keep teaching the dull Shama, who would smile and keep staring at the book, always shy at the attention. Sita briskly carried the dustbin out unobtrusively. Her body fast with habit. The weathered body that had produced some moments before, harsh

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The Glass Ceiling Mukta Vasudeva

across fifteen miles in a crowded train morning and night, were the myths. The myths of Gods, the Gods that became angry if you entered temples while menstruating, the myths of love; love from a drunk, ailing zombie guised as a husband whose main expression of love was the occasional thrust of unrequited sexual passions and occasional beatings of requited alcoholic passions. Myths that despite their ugly appearance brought warmth in her heart at the grace of Ramji on Deepawali . Warmth from the crying thing born of her; its unconditional surrender to her for its existence. Warmth that her married daughter's eyes shone with every time she met her after months, even a year at times. This weathered body managed five customers. Fed five hungry beings, built a small two roomed house made of bricks and cement- a move up from the thatched hut; owned by way of possessions a fan, cooler, T.V, fridge, beds and kitchen ware; afforded clothes and small gifts to her children. Sita and Shama awkwardly took their leave from a mournfully silent Mrs. Gupta, headed out to their next job. Shama's heart raced suddenly as they crossed the vegetable sellers, two young boys looked at her curiously, she could hardly breathe. Sita, meanwhile, walked faster glaring at the two leering boys. Her mind was busy calculating how many more months it would take to save enough for Shama's dowry. Reena went back to her cubicle, having washed her eyes and worn her usual expression of impassive professionalism. Intermingled noises of ringing phones with voices raised in intent discussion brought a soothing calm to her restless mind. Felt safer. "Hey!" Nikhil with his- I'm-yourboss-but-we-can-be-friends tone. "Lost again are you! What a dreamer!". "I was just em thinking about the reports, how to place them in today's presentation" She recovered with practiced ease. "Oh, don't worry yaar" he said "that's ok don't take too much pressure, I will be there to help out." Since early on she had learnt that help was not what she worked for, 27

especially the unwarranted type, which almost always cost something. She smiled in answer. It was despite his help she thought, that she had recently got promoted; now the sailing was rough, but it always was in jungles like these. But she had learnt her lessons well, here you needed not just blind hard work, but blind gumption.You needed to trust yourself. She entered the meeting with a good presentation, at total ease with the game. Walking home from the bus stand in the Mumbai rains, she clutched onto the umbrella more for support than protection, crossing traffic jams that sang songs of chaos. She tried talking to her father in the evening, but his intense sadness mingled with intense anger brought her to her knees. They would not even tolerate the thought of not aborting.Apart from the usual face-saving functionality it was not a logical decision they argued. Arguments took all forms, abstracted many collective reasoning, approached from many different directions- from by lanes of spiritual pleas to the main roads of pragmatic wisdom, shifting in form, jumping from the whys why would she ever want to be a single mother, to the complicated mind-numbing hows, all arguments, all pleas, all threats seemed to be stemming from a common source of a faceless, abstract entity called society. Sometime their efforts came as emotional blackmails taking shape of a loving, kissing serpent which despite it's tender hugs showed glimpses of sharp, bloodthirsty teeth within… sometimes it came as naked undisguised disgust invoking deep guilt and shame…sometimes as simple angry outbursts- the simplest to deal with really because she felt genuine pain at causing so much discomfort to her parents. His uncontrollable sobbing sent her into blackness that she had never known. Always daddy's little girl, now she was out in the cold. She didn't really blame Rohan for feeling that he was not ready for such a big step, she understood his problem. It was just sad that like everyone else, he didn't understand her. That, since it began she had existed in duality. She was seeing things in weird slow-motioned double-take of 28

reality. Her own existing perspective of objects would suddenly give way to a new take! Like when she walked into work some morning, she would greet the same peon who she had been greeting every morning, once, with a sudden jolt she stopped and saw for the first time that he had the biggest smile in the premises! She had never noticed that before. This was happening almost everywhere she looked… at flowers or garbage dumps. Like as if she was seeing a garbage dump for the first time! The dump in front of her flats, which was a constant, suddenly stopped matching with any pre-recognized images of 'waste' that came to her mind automatically, while crossing it in the morning. She marveled at this unrecognizable form, at the smells… and slowly she formulated that the way it lay in rejected misery, it was a collection of nothings, things that were no things, waste… until she arrived at that image of 'waste', recognizing it anew. It was driving her wild with frustration, and ecstatic with the joy of making new discoveries in the old. They called it hormonal changes, what a boring label to what she was actually experiencing! This strange duality… Like she had a new soul, now seeing things for the first time… new soul, seeing things from within her old world. How could she define this experience? She had to talk to her sister, Neeta. So here she was; Simon had her in the spot. Since he first met her and heard she was slated to be next editor of an internationally acclaimed fashion magazine, he had shown great interest in her. Neeta had been in the business long enough to know that such interest was not trivial. Finally, three parties later, a good number to have established a 'friendly' rapport, he came out with the daggers. He marveled at her rise from the Mumbai office, to London, and thought that she, coming from a traditional ethnic background-Indian- and mother of two girls, should have an interesting perspective on the effects of the fashion industry and advertising on young female minds." Well," she commented on that "maybe that's why my three year old cat has been acting bitchy lately!"Laughter "I should 29

have known better than to keep all those magazines lying around".As the others laughed, his condescending smile told her she would have to bring out the ammunition. "Really I think that the fashion industry would do well to be better grounded… for instance we fail to convey the hard work and sweat behind the glamour… we plan to work on that in our magazine.. bring fresh perspectives to the audience." She said. "Well I rather find that the commoditization of beauty is ugly, all glitter barely any gold". Simon plainly stated. "Well you do know that we value gold because it glitters… I wouldn't underrate glitter by itself as a quality so much. Anyways, I don't think there is anything wrong in the commoditization of beauty." Neeta challenged. "In fact, I don't think there is much difference between say an Oxford Don and super-model Kate Moss, professionally speaking." "Oh??" The dancing eyebrows rising and falling could become a rave new form of choreography, with what precision they all arched together and fell on their faces, it would have made a great youtube video with funky background music!! Neeta sipped her gin-spiked ice tea and let the cubes jingle around in her glass as the volleys of admonishes started comingin. "If you think about it", she continued," here is man who in his youth or earlier realized that he is better than others in certain skills, on closer examination society informed him, through positive feedback that he is what we could call intelligent. Maybe somewhere in his twenties, he worked really really hard and developed this as a habit which helped him progress his career in academic circles… published papers and consequently became a mini-celebrity in his localized, specialized circles…All this got him, fame in a sense, money and ofcourse power…." "Slightly different from wearing Gucci and walking around, don't you think?" evi30

dently Simon was enjoying it. "He used his brains you know", someone else interjected with an air of irritation. "My point exactly, he used his intelligence. Was he born with it, I would say so, he was born with some form of intelligence, he used his Godgifted intelligence. If a man or a woman is born beautiful, then why can he or she not use this god-gifted beauty to earn fame, money and power? Why would you be so high-headed about the quality of intelligence over the quality of beauty? They are both natural, in either case they both used what they were given. If you find nothing wrong in the commoditization of intelligence, then what is wrong with the commoditization of beauty? How is intelligence more virtuous -when sold for a living, than beauty -when sold for a living?" Simon, now interested swung into full action. "He worked hard and developed himself" "Supermodels work really really hard, going through great pains to build up themselves, to deliver a product that Is aesthetically beautiful." "You mean artificial, made-up and unnatural?" "Well,Attending university, earning degrees, sprucing up your education with lectures and lectures of other people's thoughts, ideas… are all nonnatural means of building on top of your natural intelligence. How is that different from models build up their bodies and developing themselves in a certain way that conforms to society defined standards? These are inventions of our times, this society endorses sharp business tycoons for their acumen. Once they used to barter in shells why, I don't see anyone being offended in that… maybe shells represented something of value to them- maybe aesthetics, now modern man invents new things to trade in. He invents skills, he sells services- I can do the interior of your house, or let me build you the most beautiful car, he sells beauty in various forms. Beauty which is contextual has been and will be sold in various forms." 31

" My friend over at the BBC was disconcerted to find that on interviewing a bunch of seven year olds, apart from the usual clichés; most of the girls were unhappy with their figures, one of them actually said she thought looked rather fat and didn't like shape at all. Age seven!"he said rather angrily. "The brain is part of the human body. Just like the face, perky breasts and long legs… there is nothing inherent in our bodies that tells us that the brain is better than the face. It's our cultures, which endow more virtue to the one feature and less to another. I know seven year olds from my society, back home, who suffer from various symptoms of anxiety before their exams begin. There is so much pressure on performance right from kindergarten. You intellectuals play the same game as any super-models, only you just play it with a different type of ball and set different rules in your game. I hardly think the game can be blamed just because we entangle ourselves in it." At home, the call from Reena took away her calm. She looked at her two girls running circles round their father as he struggled at the humongous task of getting them to bed. She spent a sleepless night filled with soggy dreams. Dreams of trying to laugh whilst carrying a heavy, heavy sack of sand.Although the sand kept slipping out, the sack kept getting heavier and heavier, until finally her mouth distorted from the effort of trying to laugh became sealed. She couldn't laugh or cry out, all that she knew was that her back was breaking and her mouth was sealed, not a cry of pain could escape. "Sweetie, think about your future honey… Don't ruin it, you can't do this on your own." Reena quietly went back to work. It's been six years since. Shama has on her second pregnancy, carrying the child of her forty year old husband. He owns a grocery shop and 32

asked for hand in person. Reena's bubbling daughter is the apple of everyone's eyes. Her father is a kind and generous man, who was hit by her courage and honesty about the baby, had met her through relations. Everyone, her husband, in-laws and parents and so she also - thought it would do better to take care of home full-time. Neeta still enters the arena fully charged, knows that this could be her last day at the helm, fights like a cat to save it. She feels the crunch of the day in her ankles, and knees when she comes home at night, they seem to shudder as they take on her growing weight. She strokes her heavy thighs subconsciously, as she sits on her desk and approves pictures of anorexic beauties… An MCAMukta Vasudevan worked as an engineer at Hydrabad for quite a long time. Presently she is residing at England and masterminding a web page called Sefirah.

Women : A Journey of Prostitution Dr. Zarina John Choudhury A woman, according to most authorities, was always a minor at law. As a girl she was under the tutelage of her parents, as an adult, of her husband, and as a widow, of her sons. Even under the liberal rules of Buddhism a nun, however advanced in the faith, was always subordinate to the youngest novice among the brethren. Early law books assess a woman’s wergild as equivalent to that of a sudra, whatever her class Most schools of law allowed a woman some personal property. A woman was thought to be naturally libidinous; an unmarried girl attaining puberty would proceed to find a lover, however strictly her parents guarded her; once she had lost her virginity she would become unmarriageable and the parents would have the choice of the disgrace and expense of maintaining an unmarried daughter indefinitely, or the even greater disgrace of casting her out to become a beggar or a prostitute. From the point of view of her parents a daughter was a serious economic liability, and this may have encouraged the custom. Women were not encouraged to take up a life of religion or asceticism. Their true function was marriage, and the care of their menfolk and children. But the better class laywomen seem to have been educated, and there are several references to works of Sanskrit poetry and drama by women authors, of which some fragments survive. in Tamil the early poetess Avvaiyiir has left work of great merit, and a splendid martial ode describing the great victory of the early Cola king Karikiilan.

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In fact women sometimes possessed more than was usually allowed to them by the rules of stridhana. Stridhana in the form of jewellery and clothing. The ladies of Sanskrit courtly literature are often described as reading, writing, and composing songs, and they seem to have been well versed in the arts of the time. Though from medieval times until very recent years the arts of music and dancing were looked on as quite unfit for respectable Indian girls, and were practised only by low-caste women and prostitutes, this was not the case in ancient days, when well-to-do girls were taught singing and dancing, as well as other ladylike arts such as painting and garland making. The women of the upper classes were kept at a distance from the opposite sex. TheArthasastra, in many ways more liberal than the religious law books, lays down quite stringent rules for the punishment of immodest wives.Awoman who insolently takes part in games, or drinks, against her husband’s wishes, is to be fined three pal. as. If she leaves her home without his permission to visit another woman she is to be fined six pal. as; if she visits a thorities on erotics demand that, as well as in the art immediately essential to her profession, she should be thoroughly trained in “the sixty-four arts”. These were a stock list, which included not only music, dancing and singing, but also acting, the

composition of poetry, impromptu and otherwise, flowerarrangement and garland-making, the preparation of perfumes and cosmetics, cooking, dress-making and embroidery, sorcery, conjuring and sleight of hand, the composition of riddles, tongue-twisters and other puzzles, fencing with sword and staff, archery, gymnastics, car35

pentryandarchitecture,logic,chemistryandmineralogy,gardening,training fighting cocks, partridges and rams, teaching parrots and mynahs to talk, writing in cipher, languages, making artificial flowers, and clay modeling. It is hardly likely that the prostitute did in fact study all the arts of this rather bizarre list, but it shows what was expected of her. If she mastered those arts most suited to her profession a brilliant future awaited her. “Acourtesan of a pleasant disposition, beautiful, and otherwise attractive, who has mastered the arts has the right to a seat of honour among men. She will be honoured by the king and praised by the learned, and all will seek her favours and treat her with consideration. Typical of such accomplished courtesans wasAmbapali, the hetaira of Vaisali, famous in Buddhist legend. Much that is said of this lady is certainly legendary, but it gives a significant indication of the status of the better type of courtesan in ancient India.AmbapalI was immensely wealthy, highly intelligent, and famous throughout the civilized portion of India. She was one of the most treasured possessions of her city, and mixed on equal terms with princes. On his last journey to the Hills, as he passed through Vaisali, the Buddha accepted her invitation to dine in preference to that of the city fathers, who wished to give him a civic reception. Ambapali is said to have become a Buddhist nun, and one of the most beautiful poems of the Pali canon is attributed to her. The prostitute was protected and supervised by the state. The Arthaliistra suggests the appointment of a Superintendent of Prostitutes who should be responsible for the care and supervision of the palace courtesans, the inspection of brothels, and the collection of two 36

days’ earnings from each prostitute every month, as tax to the government. Teachers and trainersof prostitutes were to begiven encouragement by the state. As in all other societies, around the prostitute congregated men of doubtful character, either outside the law or on its borderline-thieves, rogues, pseudo-magicians, and confidence tricksters of all kinds. prostitutes should be enlisted in the secret service. This fact was noted by Megasthenes, who remarked that the spies did much of their work with the help of prostitutes. From the example of the play “The Little Clay Cart” it would seem that a prostitute might become m honest woman by marriage, for here the heroine, the high-souled courtesan Vasantasena, ultimately becomes the second wife of the brahmary hero Carudatta. The position of the courtesan merged with that of the concubine. Kings and chiefs retained numerous prostitutes in their palaces, who were salaried servants, and who often had other duties to perform, such as attending on the king’s person. The status of these women s somewhat obscure, but apparently they were not only at the service of the king, but also of any courtier on whom he might choose temporarily to bestow them, and thus they were not on a par with the regular inhabitants of his harem. Prostitutes of this type accompanied :he king wherever he went, and even awaited him in the rear when he .vent into battle. Another type of prostitute pursued her trade in an o dour of sanctity. in the Middle Ages the god in his temple was treated like an earthly king; he had his wives, his ministers and attendants, and all the paraphernalia of a court-including his attendant prostitutes. These were 37

often the children of mothers of the same profession, born and reared in the temple precincts, but they might be daughters of ordinary citizens, given in childhood to the god as pious offerings. They attended on the god’s person, danced and sang before him, and, like the servants of an earthly king, bestowed their favours on the courtiers whom he favoured, in this case the male worshippers who paid their fee to the temple. The earliest record of religious prostitution comes from a cave at Ramgarh, in the Vindhya hills some 160 miles south of Banaras, which contains two significant Prakrit inscriptions in a script which shows that they were written not long after the days ofAsoka. The first of these is in verse : “Poets, the leaders of lovers, light up the hearts which are heavy with passion. She who rides on a seesaw, the object of jest and blame, how can she have fallen so deep in love as this? And then, in prose: The excellent young man Devadinna the painter loved Sutanuka, the slave-girl of the god”.

The enamoured Sutanuka is referred to by the word later 38

regularly used for a temple prostitute-devadasi and was evidently something of the kind herself. Temple prostitution was most common in the South, where it survived until recent times. religious prostitution came naturally to the Dravidian. Many inscriptions and charters of the medieval South commemorating donations to temples refer specially to devadasls ; for instance a general of Vikramaditya VI Calukya, named Mahadeva, is recorded as founding a temple in memory of his late mother, with quarters for the most beautiful temple-prostitutes in the country. Prostitution, though in many contexts honoured and respected, was much disapproved of by the Smrti writers, whose works contain passages of warning against the evils of prostitution reminiscent of those in the Jewish Book of Proverbs. Manu and some other texts class the harlot and gambler with the thief and blackmailer, and declare that brahmans must never consort with prostitutes, on pain of very heavy penances. One source even maintains that the murderer of a prostitute commits no sin and should incur no punishment at law. The secular view which prevailed. By the Middle Ages the brahmans who propounded the Sacred Law might themselves be attached to temples with hundreds of prostitutes on their staffs. Dr. Zarina John Choudhury, Assistant Prof. History, Govt. Girls College, Jabalpur(M.P.)

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Health and Nutritional Issues in the Empowerment of Women Dr. Anima Sharma Indian women has come a long way from its mythological status of holding the equivalent status as their male counterparts to the historical period when it was having an important and equal place in the family because of herequalcontributuionintheeconomicactivitiesofthefamilytothemodern era of globalization when she has to fight for her rights. This journey has seen several ebbs and flows and has been full of events. The present day society is witnessing a number of issues related to women in terms of gender discrimination, unequal access to resources and opportunities, violence, lack of basic services, women’s paltry representation in politics and business, and the power imbalances. These issues act as the raod blocks in the progress of the women on the one hand and of the society on the other. Therefore, the most important aspect to keep up with the present trnds of globalization and sustainable development is gender equality, with which are attached two critical but complementary approaches namely mainstreaming gender and promoting women’s empowerment. Development strategies will not be successful unless women become the central players.

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Gender mainstreaming andWomen’s empowerment have been describved in the Practice Note published by UNDP in November, 2002 as: “Gender mainstreaming is “the process of assessing the implications for women and men of any planned action, including legislation, policies or programmes, […] making women’s concerns and experiences an integral dimension of the design, implementation, monitoring and evaluation of policies and programmes […] so that women and men benefit equally”, according to a 1997 Report of the Economic and Social Council. Women’s empowerment is central to human development. Human development, as a process of enlarging people’s choices, cannot occur when the choices of half of humanity are restricted. Targeted actions aimed at empowering women and righting gender inequities in the social and economic sphere, as well as in terms of civil and political rights, must be taken alongside efforts to en-gender the development process”. Present discussion would focus on the women’s empowerment especially in the Health sector and the issues related to Nutrition. Empowerment is a multidimensional term including various dimensions viz., Education, Economy, Land & Property, Health, Politics and more. Though all of these dimensions are important in themselves but owing to a number of demographic, cultural and socioeconomic reasons health becomes the primaryissue,whichneedsimmediateattentionandcarefulplanning.Health further includes a number of aspects but chief of those are health Services and Nutrition, which have sociocultural and economic implications too.

The women of all ages especially those who are living in the rural areas face several health problems. In a brader perspective these problems could be attributed to two factors viz., Health Services and Nutrition on the one hand and socioeconomic and sociocultural on the other. The main reasons of the lack of the utization of the Health Services and Nutritional problems is poverty, Illteracy, Ignorance, lack of resources, status of women, lack of decision making and unequal flow of power within the family and the societal level. Ultimately, these show negative effects on the demographic trends viz. Maternal Mortality, Female Foetecide, Anaemia, Malnourishment etc.

According to UNDP Human Development Report (1997), the proportion of pregnant women (age 15-49 aged) with anemia was found to be as high as 88% and the maternal mortality in India is the second highest in the world.As regards the Reproductive health of the women it has further been reported in the UN Report that only 42% of births in the country are supervised by health professionals, most of the home deliveries are done by the untrained midwifes or with the help of the untrained women in the family who often use traditional methods. Not only that they lack skills and resources but they use unsterilized blades and equipments which may endanger the life of the mother and the child. They also have little to lack of control on their fertility and issues realted to their Reproductive Health.

The Health Issues Per Say: The demographic trends show that though the average female life expectancy is gradually improving over the yars yet it is lower than in many countries.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, the real impact of the problem is much deeper in the society, which needs thoruogh shake up of the age old psyche and mindset of the people. The gender discrmination and lower status of women gives rise to several social problems too for instance the increase in the crime against women, denying them their basic rights, stigma and discrimnation againt women and sevaral others.

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To combat with the problems related to women as cited above Government iof India has envisaged the ‘National Policy For The Empowerment Of Women’in 2001, in which the provisions have been made to secure and safeguard the Rights of the Women to eliminate all types of discriminations and atrocities against them and make them an empowered citizen of the country. It includes a number of aslects in its framework like Judicial Legal Systems, Economic Empowerment, Social Empowerment, Rights of Girl Child, Violence against women, their participation in Science and Techniligy and their role in Difficult circumstances etc. It suggests the operational strategies to combat with this issue at the global level. Under the section of Social Empowerment the policies related to women have been chalked out as follows: Health 1. Aholistic approach to women’s health which includes both nutrition and health services will be adopted and special attention will be given to the needs of women and the girl at all stages of the life cycle. The reduction of infant mortality and maternal mortality, which are sensitive indicators of human development, is a priority concern. This policy reiterates the national demographic goals for Infant Mortality Rate (IMR), Maternal Mortality Rate (MMR) set out in the National Population Policy 2000. Women should have access to comprehensive, affordable and quality health care. Measures will be adopted that take into account the reproductive rights of women to enable them to exercise informed choices, their vulnerability to sexual and health problems together with endemic, infectious and communicable diseases such as malaria, TB, and water borne diseases as well as hypertension and cardio-pulmonary diseases. The social, developmental and health consequences of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases will be tackled from a gender perspective. 43

2. To effectively meet problems of infant and maternal mortality, and early marriage the availability of good and accurate data at micro level on deaths, birth and marriages is required. Strict implementation of registration of births and deaths would be ensured and registration of marriages would be made compulsory. 3. In accordance with the commitment of the National Population Policy (2000) to population stabilization, this Policy recognizes the critical need of men and women to have access to safe, effective and affordable methods of family planning of their choice and the need to suitably address the issues of early marriages and spacing of children. Interventions such as spread of education, compulsory registration of marriage and special programmes like BSY should impact on delaying the age of marriage so that by 2010 child marriages are eliminated. 4. Women’s traditional knowledge about health care and nutrition will be recognized through proper documentation and its use will be encouraged. The use of Indian and alternative systems of medicine will be enhanced within the framework of overall health infrastructure available for women. Nutrition 1. In view of the high risk of malnutrition and disease that women face at all the three critical stages viz., infancy and childhood, adolescent and reproductive phase, focused attention would be paid to meeting the nutritional needs of women at all stages of the life cycle. This is also important in view of the critical link between the health of adolescent girls, pregnant and lactating women with the health of infant and young children. Special efforts will be made to tackle the problem of macro and micro nutrient deficiencies especially amongst pregnant and lactating women as it leads to various diseases and disabilities. 2. Intra-household discrimination in nutritional matters vis-à-vis girls and women will be sought to be ended through appropriate strategies. Widespread use of nutrition education would be made to address the 44

issues of intra-household imbalances in nutrition and the special needs of pregnant and lactating women. Women’s participation will also be ensured in the planning, superintendence and delivery of the system. Thus, we see that the issue of the empowerment of women, which in fact is the issue of the global concern, has stimulated the thinking of our policy makers too. But, the real picture continues to be glum and the demographic figures show that making the policies would not be of much help unless a strategy of its effective implementation is also designed. Also, policies make little impact on the age old practices and behavioural pattern especially in the Health Sector and Nutritional aspects. Hence, the strategies should be implemented with the Behaviour ChangeApproach taking into account the socio-cultural and socioeconomic issues delicately. These are the sensitive areas where making an indent needs lots of effort and still the outcome is seldom in the right proportion.

The letter from Soumya ... Seema Sing The letter from Soumya, an all time friend, was still in my hand, Happiness at receiving the letter had given way to perplexity, discomfort, sadness and misery . To alley my fears, I started reading it again: Dear Seema,

Hence to conclude, the issue of empowerment of women especially in the areas of Health and Nutrition can not be dealt with by making the policies until those are implemented too. This issue needs more attention in the rural areas and vulnerable population especially including socioeconomically weaker and backward sections of the society.

Hope my letter finds you amidst best of everything that life has to offer and also sincerely hope that my work-place and home-place blues do not rub on to you. I need to share my troubles with you. I feel suppressed, suffocated and subjugated by the web of responsibility that surrounds me.

Dr. Anima Sharma, the author of this article has received Doctorate from Delhi University. Her post doctoral job experiences has been mainly in the research, teaching, training and consultancy in Social Sector with the focus on the Health and Development issues in the vulnerable sections of the society. Presently, she is working as Assistant Professor (Social Sector) in a reputed Management Institute in Delhi.

The week started on a routine, yet promising note as, after eight years in service, I was being promoted to the post of executive manager. When this bit of news I shared with Arnab, my husband, for no reason he got furious and asked me to refuse the promotion as it would involve late hours, more responsibility and his family didn’t require that kind of money. His attitude piqued me, but the situational wisdom was in keeping quiet. I lay thinking- what about me, my existence, my dreams. Nobody seemed to care and notice that I was working like a machine . I kept tossing and turning., mulling over I woke up in the morning with a heavy head, throbbing with pain .Being

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already late,I gulped medicine and went to wake up Siya and Raghav , so that they could be ready for school. The maid had not yet come so I started making preparations for breakfast and the lunch .We have a maid coming to help in other household work but the cooking has to be done exclusively by me as it has been a tradition in the family .Without a care in the world,Arnab went out for his regular morning walk with his father, Mom has arthritis so she wanted tea in bed, my sister- in- law had worked late on computer so she refused to wake up to help. In the absence of maid why was only I responsible to complete the kitchen work and other household chores? Why could not the other members of the family chip in, according to their ability? What kind of gender - role were we setting for our sons and daughters, who would have to survive and be successful in the ultra- modern world of globalization? I thought of taking leave but realized that on coming Friday, I would have to take leave as I would have to accompany my mother –in –law for an appointment with a Orthopaedician . As I had no time to waste I pushed the pace of work, got ready mechanically and left for office. I brooded as I traveled in local bus-Most of the time I did not have the time to eat my breakfast? Nobody worried about me? was I right in jeopardizing my health to such an extent? Was I not treating myself with love and respect ? Amidst criss-Cross of questions, answer and counter question, I reached my office. As I entered the building , I secluded myself from the outside world . I grounded myself to the work on my table. Even as I was engrossed in the work, I could feel my stomach rumbling of hunger. I got up to go to the canteen and had covered a little distance when my mobile rang up. It was a call from Siya’s school - she had fever and stomach upset. The school authorities had called up Arnab but as he was in the middle of the meeting he could not go to pick Siya up, so as a way out he had given my number to them.

groceries and vegetables only my responsibility? Why was a man’s work more important than a woman’ s? Why could’nt he ,for once give more importance to siya’s health? Why can”tArnab share family responsibilities? Why is he so resistant to the very thought of sharing whether it be responsibility, decision making, power on money matter’s? Siya was diagnosed with bacterial infection and the doctor cautioned me for her health as she had frail constitution and also about myself as I also in Doctors opinion appeared to beAnaemic . I brought prescribed medicines; some fruits and vegetables .Dead tired I reached home .It was 4 in the evening .The door opened and peals of laughter welcomed me. Arnab’s cousin , Sanjeev and his family had come over .After putting Siya on bed , I went to meet Sanjeev and his family. On learning about Siya’s health , my father- in -law went to sit with her , while I went to the kitchen to prepare tea and snacks. In between as I administered the medicine to Siya, my father in law advised me to pay more attention to children as they were the real investment. I was miffed, I interjected- real investment only for me?Not for their father ? He gave me a placid but piercing look and left the room. Out of courtesy, I sat with the guest while Siya was alone. My exterior was calm but inside it was furious turmoil of feelings and emotions.Why could’nt I be excused from this make- believe sit-in with the guests? Should I do it? What would be the repercussions? I decided to excuse myself, my child was more important, relatives could be taken care of by other members of family also. I had taken leave because of my daughter. As I got up, I noticed the glint of disapproval in my mother in law’s eyes, I left the room. Siya had gone to sleep alone in her room. I lay along side her thinking of the choices I had and the decisions I needed to make . I felt as if I was as a candle burning at both the ends. I had dozed off.

I picked my purse and left for Siya’s school. Anxious I took an auto. A volley of questions bombarded my brain——Were children, their rearing, their nursing only my responsibility? Was running of kitchen, buying

The bell-chime woke me, I seemed to have dozed off, it was 5:30 p.m., Raghav had returned from his day - boarding school. Why was I home

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early, he questioned me. On hearing about Siya’s health, he went straight to her bed and asked if his father was also back, I replied in the negative. Now at thirteen years of age, Raghav pertinently pointed out why his father never took leave when they were ill? I was dumbstruck but drew solace from the fact that even he thought in a similar way regarding sharing of responsibilities as I did.

Will any Rules and Regulations, Laws and Policies make any difference to the lives of Working- Women if the Men do not make the mandatory shift in the Psyche andAttitudes to acknowledge , accept and respect the decision of women to venture out for a job ? This is the Question.

Arnab returned at eight in the evening and magnanimously announced to eat out-side. Raghav told his father about Siya’s health, about whichArnab already knew but had conveniently forgotten.

S. Singh has been working in the field of Education for the last decade and a half. She has also been deeply involved in the field of Adolescent Education and has worked as consultant with UNFPA. She is presently working as an Administrator in Delhi.

Urgently waiting for yourAdvice .

Again it was time to cook dinner. I called for Shilpi’s help,” she is busy with her office -work how can she help in cooking.” My mother in law piped in. It was totally ,totally incredible how people had two set of values and standards to suit their convenience ,Why were Daughter’s and Daughter –in – law’s treated differently. Enough was enough, everybody had their career to take care of besides myself’Amidst emotional turbulence I was able to prepare dinner and finish other chores. As I put children to bed, I checked Siya for temperature or any other discomfort she might be feeling .Arnab had felt my discomforting vibes , he wanted to know what was wrong , I told him I was totally fed up with the load I was expected to accomplish with no support forthcoming from the other family members and wanted to quit the job. That stumped him, matter-of-factly he started making me understand about the monthly installments that we had to pay for the home in which we lived and our car, which he drove, so how could I even think of quitting the job , besides we had to provide for our children’s education and save for our future . I understood but as always he got tired of the discussion and citing that he had to get up in the morning, he went to sleep. My spirit refuses to be trodden- on and trampled- over. 49

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Hindu woman and Divorce Ranjit Roy The Indian Divorce Act 1869 came into operation on 1st August, 1989 for persons professing the Christian religion.The law related to marriage and divorce in Muslim community is basedon the Holly Koran. These are separated law created during the British rule for various sects of Muslim like Memons in western India and Mophols in South India. Besides the ShariwatApplication Act, 1937, which is the mainAct pertaining to the Moslems decree that a husband can obtains divorce by the process of ‘Talaq’and a wife can have the divorce by the process of ‘Kulla.’To begin with, we Hindus are still largely a feudal and patriarchal society.AHindu girl has no right to divorce the husband. She can not leave the matrimonial house because the husband, in-laws & the parents treat her as their property.And the husband and in-laws have the right to throw her out and if she is any way aggressive she is burnt out. The parents of the girl have no say to it and they console themselves by stating that she was born with bad luck. Because before marriage a girl is a piece of property at their parental house.After marriage she is the property of both the matrimonial house and paternal house. Reformaors like Vidyasagar, Rammohan Roy, a preceptor like ParamahansARamkrishna, Vivekananda, men of literature like Rabindranath , Bankim Chandra, Sarat Chandra and politicians like Mahatma Gandhi, Lokmanya Tilak, Netaji, Pandit Nehru were there but none of them took the painS to abolish the feudal and patriarchal 51

society prevailing in Hinduism. However, after 138 years of the enactment of the Christian divorce law and after 81 years of Muslim law and after 8 years of independence in 1955 the Hindu marriage and divorce law were enacted. Then the Govt. of India had to enact section 498A under I.P.C. in the year 1983 to tackle cruelty by a husband or a relative of husband, and protection of women from Domestic Violence Act. 2006 in terms of the UN Model Code. But all the laws are full of loopholes. The laws have a different use al together. It lies more in a formal recognition that certain things are not acceptable. Because India is signatory to many international conventions, including the United Nations convention on the elimination of all forms of discrimination against women. It is height of cruelty. We have first track courts, special courts, women courts but those are not working. There is no time bound system. Below appended a case diary would reveal that an woman at the age of 27 years (July-1988) got married, at the age of 29 years (in the year 2000) she filed divorce and she obtained divorce on cruelty ground at the age of 32 years (in December 2003) from the district court. The husband appealed before High Court in January 2004 and made a counter claim that divorce shall be granted on the ground of adultery by wife, which was rejected by the District Court. The Hon’ble High Court did not care to take up the matter for hearing, in any day during the period of four years i.e. from January 2004 to January 2008 and the woman became 38 years. She was threatened that “She would be 50 but appeal will be pending and she will have no right to marry till the disposal of the appeal because Hindu marriage law says it. The woman had no alternative but to surrender before the husband and filed a compromise deed and the Hon’ble High Court within couple of days to get the case listed and dismissed the case. Amost shocking case of divorce under Hindu Marriage & Divorce Act 1955 revealed in 2008After eight years battle in civil, criminal court and High Court for divorce on cruelty ground, maintenance and return of Streedhan, Sita (name changed) was compelled to compromise with her husband Ram ( name changed) and had 52

to file a joint deed of compromise on 29.12.2007 duly signed by them before the Ld. 1st upper Chief Judge at Durg, state Chattisgarh. For the sake of formality the Ld judge asked Sita whether she had any pressure from her husband or from any others to file a joint compromise deed along with her husband. On her reply in negative, the Ld. Judge passed his order on the basis of the compromise deed. Under the influence of male-centric attitude the Ld. Judge did not feel it necessary to peruse the compromise deed. Had it been scanned by the Ld. Judge through his legal mind he could have realized that (1) the lack of monetary security (2) perpetual character assassination & (3) failure in recovering of Streedhan compelled Sita to enter into a compromise. These were the outcome of the lacunas and loopholes in Hindu marriageAct 1955. The absence of attitude sympathetic to women among these enforcing or interpreting laws & never ending legal process is sinificant. Lack of monetary security compelled Sita to enter into a compromise Ram did not pay the alimony @ Rs.2000/- per month & thus violated the order of the Ld.Additional Vth District Judge dated 6.12.2003. On 13.11.2004 Sita moved again an application before the VthAdditional District Judge for claiming the alimony passed by the Ld. Court. Sita had to appear, as directed by the Court, twelve times in between 13.04.2004 to 24.12.2005 before 5th Additional District Judge, VIIthAdditional District Judge, 1st Track District Court, 2nd Chief Judge (Kutumb Court) and realized only Rs. 2000/on 24th December 2005, whereas the arrears of alimony reached Rs. 46000/- from 6th December 2003 to 24th December 2005. The computation of which was Rs.2000/- X 14 months = Rs. 28,000.00 and Rs. 1500.00/-X 12 months = Rs. 18000/- as the appeal Court reduced the alimony Rs.2000/- to Rs.1500/- on 28.01.2005. Sita made an application to the court to direct the employer of Ram, the Govt. of Chattisgarh to recover the alimony of Rs.46000/- in arrears up to 24.12.2005 and the current alimony from Jan 2006 in instalment as applicable in the law from the salary of Ram. The Ld. Court kept the application as pending On that date a computation of arrears of 53

alimony made up to 30.04.2006 was Rs.55,500.00/- and shown as a deduction of Rs.2000.00/- paid on 24.12.2005 + Rs.4000/- paid on 28.01.2006 + Rs.5000.00 paid on 25.02.2006 + Rs.5000.00/- paid on 23.03.2006 + Rs.2000/- paid on 06.05.2006 = Rs.18000.00/- and came to a total amount of Rs.37500.00/- But alimony of Rs.1500.00/for the month of May 2006 was not included with Rs.37500.00/In the same system of alimony payment the arrears of alimony up to 30.04.2006 of Rs.37500.00 reduced to Rs.11500.00/- on 15.06.2007, but the alimony for the period of May 2006 to June 2007 @ Rs.1500/- per month amounting to Rs.21000.00/- fell in arrears. The disastrous order of Ld. 1st upper Chief Judge dated 14.09.2007 on alimony/maintenance had left no other alternative to Sita but to be prey of her husband Ram. She had to enter into a compromise. The said order of Ld. 1st Upper Chief Judge dated 14.09.2007, has revealed that every default of payment of alimony/maintenance will be a new cause of action and Sita shall have to file a new case for recovery. On the interpretation of the decision of the Ld. Court it would reveal that Ld. Court carried out the desire of Ram the husband of Sita and made Sita a pAUper who had to look after her parents who are in their late sixties. Fact of the case and Never ending legal process Sita the then aged about 27 years M.A. in English married Ram on 5th July 1998 after negotiation made by their respective parents who were in their sixties.After the marriage Sita went to her matrimonial home where within a couple of days she found Ram her husband – a menace. His acts and deeds revealed his sinister mind. He forbade her going out of the house and talking with any male person. He doubted her chastity. She was not even allowed to talk to her father-in-law in his late sixties. He used to address her as bitch, daughter of a pig. He used to call her Haramzadi. He started assaultING her physically now and then. He shifted from his parents’ house to a flat rented by him for the reason best known to him and took Sita to his flat. They started living in the flat. Within a few days Sita realized that she had no 54

freedom. Because while going to duty Ram used to lock the entrance door from one side though he used to leave the key with Sita by throwing it through window. Sita was not in a position to open the lock without having help from outside. Not only that she was strictly advised that she should close all the windows. Sita felt unsafe . Due to such intolErable cruelty, Sita left Ram’s flat on 20.09.1999 and started living with her parents. Ram through his lawyer sent a notice to Sita and invited her to matrimonial house. But sita did not feel safe and remained with her parents. After living separate for 1 year . She filed an application U/S 13 (I-A) of the Hindu Act. 1955 for divorce on the ground of cruelty. She also filed an application under section 24 of Hindu Marriage act, 1955 for maintenance. Ram filed a written statement – there in he did not raise any objection to divorce but opposed the divorce on the ground of cruel treatment by him as stated in the petition of Sita & claimed divorce on the ground of adultery by Sita. The Ld. Judge found that the accausation made against Sita having illicit relation with some other person were not correct. The Ld. Judge granted sita a decree of divorce on cruelty ground on 6.12.2003 and also granted her alimony @ Rs. 2000.00/- per month payable till she doES not marry 2nd time. Sita got married at the age of 27years. At the age of 32 years – the golden period of her life, she fought tooth and nail to get rid of Ram – her husband who is a menace. On 6th December 2003 she thought that she got rid of him. She thought that either she or her parents who were in late sixties now shall find out a suitable person to marry and to live in peace for the rest of the life. But soon she realized it was a daydream. Being aggrieved by the judgement and decree dated 06.12.2003 passed in the matrimonial case by the Ld. 5th Additional District Judge, Ram filed an appeal on 14.01.2004 along with a stay application to stay the permanent alimony of Rs.2000.00/-. The appeal was admitted because of 1st appeal. The acting chief justice Fakhruddin of Hon’ble Bilaspur High Court took up 55

the application for stay of permanent alimony on 28.01.2005 and reduced the permanent alimony of Rs.2000.00 to Rs.1500.00. The case never came in the cause list for hearing the appeal. In spite of all efforts Sita failed in last four years to list the case in the cause list of the Hon’ble High Court for adjudication. 27 years old Sita (at the time of marriage) became 38 years. Over the phone now and then unknown personS used to tell her that “she will be 50 even then appeal would not be listed for adjudication. Ram knew how to do it. Keep in your mind that section 15 of the Hindu Marriage act does not permit you to marry till the appeal is pending. She was advised to enter into a compromise with Ram - her husband. She had no other alternative but to give up fight. She understood that Ram her husband is using the legal system in India as his tool to force her to settle the case in his terms. Perpetual character assassination Ram her husband had made her life hell. On the strength of a stay order dated 17.01.2003 from Hon’ble High Court at Bilaspur in the case U/ S 482 of cr. P.C. he haS perpetuated the character assassination of Sita and carried on with the slanderous abusive language against her. Fact of the cause Sita had filed a case in the year 2002 against Ram before 1st class Magistrate Durg U/S 500 I.P.C for making character assassination of her by him in a written statement, filed before the Ld. 5thAdditional District & Session Judge Durg in the case of divorce filed by her and further, circulating the written statement in the neighbourhood. Ld. Magistrate after examination – in-chief of the complainant Sita and after perusing the petition issued summons to Ram. Ram moved Ld. District Judge,After hearing both Sita & filed by Ram and After perusing the relevant documents the Ld Judge dismissed the revision application filed by Ram and allowed the Ld. Magistrate to proceed 56

with the case. Then Ram moved an application U/S 482 Cr. P.C before the Hon’ble High Court at Bilaspur in Chhitisgarh. Hon’ble (Retired) Justice Fakhruddin stayed the case pending before the Ld. Magistrate on 17.01.2003. In spite of the fact that the Ld. Additional 5th District Judge Durg found that the accusations made against Sita having illicit relation with some other person were not correct and granted Sita a decree of divorce on cruelty ground on 06.12.2003. The said stay order in the eye of law was subsisting and Ram took advantage for character assassination of Sita. Return of Streedhan The cause under section of 27 Hindu Marriage Act 1955 is ambiguous. As such the object is indeterminable – question arose. Whether the concept of Streedhan is abolished or the remedy for breach of trust under the criminal law is taken away.Apex court had to come in the way and declared in the year 1985 that section 27 no where provides that the concept of Streedhan is abolished or the remedy for breach of trust under the criminal law is taken away. The law commission had the opportunity to amend the section 27 at Hindu Marriage Act 1955 in order to make the issue of Streedhan clear and to enable the judiciary to order the return of the Streedhan to the wife while passing the decree for divorce. But they do not prefer to do it for the reason best known to them. In the instant case the Ld. 5thAdditional District Judge granted the decree of divorce on cruelty ground to Sita on 06.12.2003 and also granted permanent alimony to her but kept – silence on the issue of returning Streedhan.As such after the divorce Sita claimed her Streedhan through her lawyer. In spite of repeated request Ram denied her Streedhan through the letter of his lawyer. Ultimately Sita filed a case U/S 406 before Chief Judicial Magistrate on 30th April, 2005, C.J.M transferred the case in the court of M.S Venita Devi Ld. 1st class Magistrate for trial on 17.06.2005. Again the case was transferred on 21.12.2005 in the court of Ld. Girija Devi 1st class Magistrate .Again the case was transferred on 27.12.2006 in the court 57

of Ld. Nitu Singh 1st class Magistrate. In 9 months the case file was moved from court to court 4 times without any result. In this period of 31 months i.e. from 30th April 2005 to 27.12.2007 neither of the 3 Ld. Magistrates could make Ram to appear before the Ld. Court the record of the Ld. Court reveals that summons were issued and bailable warrant of Rs. 500.00 were also issued 7 times. None of the Ld. Magistrate took any initiative to enquire the fate of the bailable warrants. Sita had filed 7 talabanamas and with each talabanama. She deposited two envelops and each envelop carried stamp valued Rs. 25.00 as per order of the Ld. Magistrate to enable court to send bailable warrants through Superintendent of Police, Durg and Superintendent of Police Raipur to forward police station under whose jurisdiction the accused Ram stays and the accused Ram works. But the Ld. Magistrate did not try to trace out the fourteen envelops each of worth Rs,25/- which amounting Rs.25.00/- X 14/- = Rs.350.00/-. 31 months Sita along with her mother who was in late sixties and suffered from Perkinsons disease used to sit in a bench out side the court room from 10.30 AM to 5.00 P.M till the case is adjourned for next date and a fresh non bailable warrant was issued and shall be complied provided the complainant Supti deposit another two envelops pasted with stamp valued Rs. 25.00 in each. Though in the year 2006 the domestic violence Act was enacted which provides among others “ the mandated return of Streedhan besides giving court power to restrain the alienation of assets.” The loopholes in the laws have been used as a handle by the husband to deny Streedhan to Sita with the help of the legal process prevail in India. Ranjit Roy is a veterant journalist. He shook the country in his prime youth with the coverage of the killing of the ruler of the Bastar in MP during the chief ministership of D.P. Mishra. He is now passing his day peacefully having retired from active journalism. He is in his seventies now.

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An unforgettable memory Nirjharini Das II met Manisha after a long time all on a sudden. She was also surprised to see me at the bank she was working. I never thought that we would meet each other like this. Both of us were overwhelmed with joy meeting each other after long twelve years. Our maturity stopped us to burst forth with all our emotion boiling up within. We could not react the way we used to during our college days. Nevertheless we got tremendously excited when we saw each other at the bank. Manisha took me at her chamber holding my hand with all her warmth. I was surprised to see that Manisha still remembered that I liked coffee and she ordered coffee for me. I asked her ‘When did you come to this bank?’ ‘Just six month back’ she replied. Manisha was not only my classmate, we were roommates too in the hostel during our college days. We were intimate friends. Manisha Choudhury was the all rounder of our college. Nobody ever beat her either in studies or in extracurricular activities. I could remember each and every moment we spent together. Those days were so exciting and interesting. We used to read romantic novels together. Manisha asked me, ‘Lipsa are you writing stories still now?’ ‘Yes, sometimes’ I replied. We kept quiet for sometimes. Then Manisha murmured -Lipsa I can not tell you how I passed those painful days when I came to know that Abhinava had a heart problem. ‘And god knows only how I spent those days till he expired’ Manisha started sobbing. I tried to console her. She took some time to control herself. ‘After the death of Abhinava’, she said ‘I do not feel like living’. But there was no other way for me but to live. And I survived somehow. ‘You know Lipsa’ she spoke unmindfully, ‘I could remember those beautiful days of our college life. We together read so many novels. I remembered how we used to go to the canteen together. Those days were so lively and colourful. We were so empathetic. We felt happy when we saw somebody happy, we were sorry when some one shared one’s sorrow with us.’

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I was also lost in those memories of our college days. We had our dreams. We thought that we should write for the common people. And in such a time Abhinava came into Manisha’s life. She went to her Uncle’s house at a village to spend her holidays and she met Abhinava there. They loved each other at first sight. Manisha after spending her holidays came back to the college. She was so happy. She told me about Abhinava in a mellow voice. She was blushing while showing me all her love letters. She told me ‘Lipsa, the dream I have about my life comes true after meeting Abhinava. He is the person whom I have been dreaming always’. She started dreaming about her future conjugal life. After the exam was over both of us went back home. We wrote letters to each other.I knew that Manisha was preparing herself for competitive Exam. And she joined the banking service. Avinabha also joined IAS and was undergoing the training. Both of us were happy. And all on a sudden his heart problem was detected. He was admitted in the Medical College Hospital of Delhi. And he expired soon. “You can not imagine Lipsa, how I spent my days after his death.” Manisha sobbed “I do not feel like living for a single moment. I can not accept his untimely death” She said with tearful eyes. “My relatives, friends all tried to console me. They asked me to forget Abhi and to start life anew.” She kept on narrating her days of past. “Neither the tears of my mother’s eyes nor the sadness of my father could change my mind, I used to feel so lonely still I could not say yes to the proposals of my marriage”. She stopped for a while and mopped her eyes. “Two years have passed like this I was alone working in the bank then impelled by the situation I agreed to marry. “I am competent in every way... I am beautiful... intelligent... working, naturally numbers of proposals WERE coming for me. But I always wanted them to know about my past. I also expected them to empathies with me.” She said sadly. “People like me while they see me. But as soon as they know about my past they disapprove me for marriage. My family got tired of this recurring refusals and ultimately they stopped their efforts to get me this recurring refusals and ultimately they stopped their efforts to get me married and got busy with their own affairs. I tried to be busy with my career.” Manisha smiled. I saw tears falling down from her smile. She was in search of a person who could empathize her. She wanted her to be accepted not only as a woman but also as a human being. It was afternoon. We spent quite a long time together. My son must have returned from school by this time. So I came out of the bank with a heavy heart. And I felt it was not Manisha’s problem only it was a problem which many women often face.

An empathatic person Sree Das is a house wife with a curious mind.

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There is one red bordered saree dyed in turmeric in that Lagandala sent by the bridegrooms family. The bride applies the same turmeric on her body. Then she takes bath and puts on the same Saree dyed in turmeric . In the evening there is another Rasam called ‘Kheer Khawano’ The nearest relatives and neighours of the brides are invited in the evening in this Rasam . Moulovi Saheb chants ‘Milad sharif’.All the

invitees pray to god for a smooth and peaceful married life of their daughter Sinni or Methai sent by the bridegrooms family are being distributed among the invitees. Then one of the relatives who must be a woman of the bride comb her hair. Usually the poor relatives are given the opportunity to perform this ceremony.And she has been offered a Saree called Mathabadhani Saree from Lagandala (specialy sent by bridegrooms family for this ceremony). Then there is mehendi ceremony, mehendi has been put on both the hands of the bride. Beautiful designs are drawn with the mehendi. She putting on a beautiful bright Saree make-up and ornaments comes a to have the kheer. Then her mother serves her Khusbudar Kheer and some other palatable dishes like chicken, sweets, malpoa, Pakwan, fruits etc.All the invitees offer Kheer to the bride from the bowl and then offer money as theirAshirbad to the bride. ‘Kheer Khawano’continues in the next day. In the very morning of the divine happening there is a Rasam said ‘Usotel’. 7 married ladies hold a Dopatta on the brides head and pour oil on it. It is said that the bride’s anger will flow away through this oil.The women takes the oil from brides head and applies the same on the hair of unmarried girls as it is believed that marriage of those girls who have been given the same oil of the bride’s hair will be quickened . Then finally the bridegroom comes along with his companions (baryatri) the female who accompanies the bridegroom are called ‘Dolar bibi’. There is separate arrangement for this Dolar bibi.After reaching the bride’s place they offer one Saree and one nose ring to the bride’s mother. The bride performing the ‘uju’(washing one’s hands , face and feet before the prayer) puts on the saree and the nose ring. Moulovi saheb or any relative of the bride who is a religious person preferably a Haji functions as a ukil ‘chosen by both the families of the bride and bridegroom. He is the person who in the majlis takes the consent from both bride and bridegroom individually whether they are agreed to marry. He comes to the bride with three witnesses from bridegroom’s family and informs the bride that the son of Mr. so and so stays in so and so place. He comes to marry her and as nego-

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Nikah Nayana Begum It is said that Nikah is decided in the heaven but happens in the earth.Hence nikah is something of a divine event.It begins with the preparation of Uptan - I would like to call it odorous ceremony.One month before this divine happening al most all the elder female relatives of the bride collect the scented flower petals like Rose, Jesmine,Gandharaj etc. Masurdal, yokeof the eggs, scented masala get dried in the sun separately. Then they are mixed and smashed together and the Uptan is ready. It has a unique smell. The bride applies this Uptan on her body and face fifteen days before the divine happening -the marriage.It adds glow in her skin and makes the body odorous. There is a Rasam called Lagan which is being observed two days before the Nikah. They send Lagan dala from bridegroom’s house. Sarees,Churi, Cosmetics, other daily usable of the bride, turmeric, big fish , dahi, methai are there in this Lagan dala. And it is supposed that the bride will use the items of the Lagan dala henceforth. The quantity of fish, methai etc are decided during the’Pakka katha’ between the elders of two families. The quality and as well as the quantity of the items sent in the ‘Lagan dala’ in fact represents the Shano-saukat (status) of the bridegrooms family. This fish, dahi are distributed among the nearest relatives and neighbour’s of the bride.

tiated before the bridegroom is ready to pay the amount of Denmohor. By the way the amount of Denmohor are not offered to the bride in the Majlis. It is announced only. Thus it is rather a symbolic event. If there is a Talak or the marriage breaks then the same amount announced in the Majlis as Denmohar will be paid to the bride by the bridegroom. The bride agrees She has to say yes for three times. This is called ’Akat’. AfterAkat the daughter is handed over to the bridegroom’s family officially. Naturally the relatives of the bride become sad.Then the Ukil along with those same witnesses comes to the male Majlis and informs the bridegroom .The same way he announces in the Majlis of the bride.And if the bridegroom agrees and says yes thrice then Khurma (a kind of dry fruit) is distributed among the invitees by the bridegroom’s elders. The bridegrooms mother comes to the bride’s mother or in absence of her mother to the other aged female and offers her a Saree along with Chola, coconut, fruits, sweets etc because the bride’s mother is observing fast throughout the day. the bride’s mother offers Saree to the bridegroom’s mother too. This Rasam is called Samdin Milani. Then the bridegroom is being served with a Thal - a special dish. It consists of chicken roast, pakwan, sweets, kheer, fruits and other palatable items. The friends of the bridegroom and companions are also invited in this feast. All the invitees, the baryatris are catered with biriani, kabab, murg massalam and burani. Then bridegroom’s elder show the Saree and ornaments which they will offer to the bride and the bride will put on the same during the Milan to the Majlis. And the bride’s elder also shows the valuables they are going to offer to their daughter as decided during Paca dekha there in the Majlis. Then the bride puts on the Saree and ornaments, gifted by the both the families. One or two relatives of the bridegroom helps her to get prepared .By this time the bride’s elders prepare a place for the Rasam Milan.At first bridegroom sits there then the bride comes. The father of the bride takes his daughter’s hand and places in the hand of the bridegroom. The relatives of bride come and offer gifts to the bridegroom. Some offer gifts to the bride too. Then the bride’s mother offers some

sweets and milk to the bridegroom. And the left out of those sweet and milk are offered to the bride. Covering the head with a Dopatta of both the bride and bridegroom the sister inlaw of the bride or any female relative of the bride puts a mirror inside the Dopatta. And both of them have to see each other through this mirror. The sister in-law then asks the bridegroom how is the bride? The bridegroom replies that she is just like a moon. Nikah is over now. The Rasam of Bedai is observed after the Nikah. All the gift items offered to the bride and bridegrooms by the relatives, invitees and the bride’s family are given with the bride while she is going to the Sasural.Aspecial ‘thal’ is also being given for bridegroom’s mother during Bedai.Apoor woman or any other relative with whom the bride is comfortable accompanies her to the bridegroom’s house so that she does not feel lonely in the new place. At the moment of Bedai bride and the close relatives of bride weep and with tearful eyes they see off the newly married couple and pray to god for their happy conjugal life. And surprisingly the heavenly odour vanishes...

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Nayana Begum is a social worker working in the field of youth development for last 12 years.