Wp1 Draft With Comments

Chaidez 1 January 28, 2019 Dear Masha, Some of the most important stages of my writing process for this paper was having an outline of what I wanted to write and answering as many questions as possible on the genre worksheet. Having my outline enabled me to think clearly and make sure I did not go off topic. Moreover, having an outline made it easier to write because all my ideas were on. This made it easier to write because I was able to refer to my outline when I got stuck. The genre worksheet had so many questions that it was a bit tough trying to choose which questions were relevant to my topic. I focused on my word choice, style in font writing, and illustrations. I wanted my writing to sound academic and be easily understood by readers. I made one of my goals to implement a strong word choice in order for my readers to know I am well written and trying my best to connect with my readers. The thesaurus was my best friend in this assignment, I made huge use of it and think my writing came out better for it. I think I was successful my writing being effective by using word choice because I got good feedback from my peer editors. Also, I think it was a good strategy to use good vocabulary because my intended audience is a college professor who anticipates good usage of words. Choosing to write about the font in my posters was a technique I think is most important in my writing. In poster making, everything revolves on the ability of it being legible to the student body; moreover, this is a huge part in my school’s advertising. I believe I was successful in my use of this part of a poster to analyze because it is a crucial step in spreading information. I explained in my essay that without a student’s ability to read and find a poster interesting, students would never know about school events. I chose to talk about illustrations because it is key to making the best posters. Without having pictures, the students just walk by posters without even glancing at them. I believe I was successful in describing my usage of illustrations effective because I expressed the importance on poster’s eye-catching ability. A student will not pay attention to a plain poster, so they need an incentive to look at them; illustrations that are well drawn. The Swales article was my best resource when I wrote his essay. Without this article I would not even know a what a discourse community is or even how to spot one. I was never aware of all the discourse communities I was involved in until I read the six characteristics to spot a discourse community in the Swales article. This article made my view clubs and extracurricular activities as more than just clubs, but something bigger and better. I would better organize this paper with more time. I feel if I had more time it would be easier to combine paragraphs together and make the flow of my essay sound better. This would enhance my writing’s clarity and be easier to read. If I had more time, I would also make a formal outline that states exactly what each paragraph should contain to make it easier for me to follow and have all my ideas down on paper. Additionally, I would make sure to have all the evidence I want to use from the articles on a paper to make sure I use them correctly. By having them on paper I could easily identify what paragraph they belong to. I would like feedback on the best way to condense lengthy paragraphs and how to combine the shorter paragraphs. I would like to know the easiest way to identify the sentences that can be taken out that make my writing boring and inconsistent. Also, I want to know if y transition between paragraphs are smooth or if they require more work. Moreover, should I expand on the articles I chose to implement more or were they sufficiently analyzed? Sincerely, Dianna Chaidez

Commented [MOU1]: The easiest way to do it is to copy a paragraph that you’re unsure about into a new document. Break it up into sentences where each sentences begins on a new line. Then condense sentences, cut unnecessary sentences (you’ll see them). Commented [MOU2]: I think that your transitions are smoother in the second half of the paper where you analyze posters. The first half works fine but feels a bit rigid. See my comments below. Commented [MOU3]: They were sufficiently analyzed.

Chaidez 2 Dianna Chaidez Masha Fedorova Writing 2 14 January 2019 PB1: Associated Student Body Discourse communities are a way for people to feel a part of something bigger than themselves. A discourse community consists of members of a group with similar goals who try and achieve the latter. While some people join a discourse community for their self-satisfaction, others tend to do it for the prestigious name their club comes with. In the Swales criteria, there are a total of six defining characteristics in order to identify a discourse community. In high school I was the vice president of my schools Student Government; moreover, almost all these six characteristics can be identified in my club. Throughout the school year, my school’s Student Government implemented their ideas, activities, and goals onto posters. The six defining characteristics of a discourse community can easily be identified in any successful club. The first characteristic, according to Swales, consists of having an agreed set of common goals for the club. These goals are public and used as a staple to the club’s advancement as a whole. In the club, we aimed to help others, unify the student body, and increase student interaction at school-wide events. These goals were accomplished through constant motivation and hard work. Teachers and other students not involved with the club to look at us with respect and appreciation. People at school categorized the club as a group of students trying to make a difference in their community. The second characteristic suggests the club of having intercommunication among its members. All club members had to consistently communicate with the rest of the group when it came to hosting activities and meetings. In order to be a part of Student Government, a student was to attend weekly meetings, communicate with

Chaidez 3 one another through text, and it was required for all of us to learn to do posters with information on our school activities. This helped keep the whole school updated on what was going on in school. The third characteristic in a discourse community is participatory mechanisms. Fundraising is a helpful tool for any successful club, so if a person were not to participate in those activities, they are not necessarily a part of the club because of their lack of participation. The school required students to participate in quarterly fundraisers and rallies. We had a point system where people that did not go to events and lacked points would get kicked out of the club. People tried to pay their way out of doing the fundraisers by paying out of pocket half the price they would make doing the fundraiser because it was less work. However, a satisfying feeling would not be achieved unless students went through the hard work of selling cards, snacks, and clothing. The fourth characteristic of a discourse community is possessing one or more genres in the communicative furtherance of its aims. A club should have expectations of how an exemplary member should act. Although there is no written outline as to how a Student Body member should behave, their expectations a member of the club should have for themselves. There will always be club members putting in one hundred percent effort, as well as, those who do the bare minimum in order to add another club to their college applications. The members who work hard will be recognized, and the lazy members will be rooted out. The fifth characteristic of a discourse community is having acquired some specific lexis. Abbreviations can show just how successful a club can be, so it is always fun to have club lingo only club members know what it means. Our official club name was the Associated Student Body (ASB), which is a very well-known club throughout the country. Another example of this is a game we hosted once a year called You Only Place Once (YOPO), where we created an activity filled with games that you were only allowed to participate in once your high school career. The sixth characteristic of a discourse community is having a threshold level of members with a suitable

Chaidez 4 degree of relevant content and discoursal expertise. There are many factors when it comes to letting new members into clubs. In order to get into ASB, a student had to do a lengthy application where they not only had to write personal essays, but required teacher recommendations and grade checks. The best way for the club to spread the word about all our activities was by making posters. Our informative posters required an array of details such as time, location, attire, purpose, and most importantly being visually pleasing. Not only were our posters to inform students about the whereabouts of an event, but they had to capture the eye of our audience. When it came to football posters, we painted using our school colors, maroon and white, with drawings of footballs, pom poms, and skulls. This grabbed the student’s attention because we shared the information in a creative way where students know to come dressed with school spirit. On spirit week we drew pictures of what attire students should wear and informed them the exact day to wear such attire. For example, on Disney Day we drew lots of Mickey ears and Disney characters on posters that have the information of the date and restrictions in Disney font from the Disney movies. It is essential for students to paint artistic posters in order for the student body to be aware of the activities occurring and to inform them of acceptable clothing to wear. When we want students to donate to our blood drive, we draw posters on red paper with The Red Cross symbols and information on the dates and times students can donate blood. Visualization is always essential because students pay far more attention to pictures than words, so by drawing lots of visuals, a student tends to stop and read the posters. More specifically to an event, we did hundreds of inspirational posters when the Las Vegas shooting had occurred. The whole student body had been deeply affected by this terrible event because two of the most inspirational and caring teachers at school had been impacted by this event since they were both present at the festival. When we found out that two of our activities directors at school were victims of this

Chaidez 5 tragedy, we made it our goal to lift the spirits of the student body. We made posters with inspirational quotes and the words #BignamiStrong to put up all over campus. Our school rallied together with tons of posters to take to their son’s baseball game and support him because both his parents were in the hospital. Our whole school was working together to fight through this terrible event. Those posters impacted the school and when we showed up to the baseball game hundreds of students showed up to show their support. Posters are versatile because they not only state events, but motivate students to be there for one another in a time of need. The posters we made all had a purpose, whether it was to motivate students to go to a football game, inform them of dress code for spirit week, get them to donate blood, or bring our school to support others in times of need. A poster is as good as what you make of it, so it is essential to always keep in mind who the intended audience is and the purpose of the poster because this helps decide what illustrations, words, and colors a poster should have. A discourse community is a club with goals the club members want to achieve. By using the six characteristics Swales wrote about, it is easy to identify if a club is a discourse community. A club’s ability to implement effective ways to share their ideas makes for a successful club. Using posters allowed my club to spread information in creative and informative ways. A poster is a useful resource when it comes to promoting ideas and my club would not have been able to thrive without it.

Chaidez 6 Dianna Chaidez Masha Fedorova Writing 2 15 January 2019 PB2: Poster Making A discourse community consists of members of a group with similar goals. In the article, “Discourse Community”, Swales explains how to identify a discourse community with distinctive characteristics. At my high school, I was vice president of my school’s Associated Student Body (ASB) where our club thrived on making posters. Our posters included location, attire, and rules our student body should be informed about. An important detail to a perfect poster was having all the facts about the events we were promoting on it. School posters also had an array of visuals to demand the student’s attention. My school’s poster making was a genre that was an essential tool for encouraging school-wide participation for events and lifting people’s spirits. ASB dedicated at least an hour every day for poster making. The activities directors were well aware of how important our posters were when it came to spreading news across the campus. Swales states; “a discourse community uses its participatory mechanisms primarily to provide information … membership implies uptake of the informational opportunities” (Swales 26). Although Swales mentions buying an annual subscription in order to be considered a part of the community (Swales 26), ASB students were strictly taught how to make posters as part of giving back to the club. Making posters was crucial for every ASB student to learn. The survival of student's membership in the club depended on poster making. The posters were used to broadcast a variety of subjects such as schoolwide events, dress code, and inspirational quotes. The exact facts of any social event at school had to be on every

Chaidez 7 poster. An ideal poster would be legible with the characteristics of time, date, and location on every poster. It was essential for the latter to be written the biggest and at the very top of every poster. As Swales would put it, members of the society would develop discoursal expectations (Swales 26). ASB students were expected to have this primary function embedded in their brain because it is important to ask yourself if what you wrote on the poster states when and how to get to the event. The ASB would promote our school’s annual blood drive with those characteristics. Then specific attire, if any, would be stated underneath such as to bring a short-sleeved shirt. It is important to state whether food would be provided or if students are responsible for bringing food for themselves on the poster as well. Then color needs to be added to the poster. Students need illustrations on posters in order to catch their attention. Having pictures of corresponding symbols to our events was important. During spirit week it was important to surround all the boring facts with colorful drawings. On spirit week it was important for ASB to draw symbols that represented each day. On Tie Dye Day we wrote the date and dress code with colorful fonts and then added t-shirts all around the edge with tie-dye designs. When it came to Disney Day, ASB took it into their own hands to have the details written in Disney Font and drawing Disney characters throughout the poster. These activities were not only meant for the students, but we anticipated the staff and teachers to also partake in these activities. Our school had a newfound appreciation for our posters the more they got creative. Posters function as ASB’s primary tool for distributing necessary and vital information to the student body. Without the posters, students would never participate in rallies, blood drives, and spirit week. Students depend on the posters around the school to feed them news and to encourage them to participate in the school’s activities. This genre functions as constant news reports on school events. Posters at schools act as social media accounts because they give live content on events students care about. Students read posters to learn about how to get involved in

Chaidez 8 school. Swales states it is essential for “members to have a suitable degree of relevant content” (Swales 27). In other words, if a student is not regularly active in school activities and is not aware of the events occurring, then they should not be allowed to be in ASB. ASB uses posters to share school news. It is highly advised to state the whereabouts, date, and time of events on every poster. It is also imperative to add as many relevant visuals to every poster as possible. Students are more likely to read a poster if they are attracted to it, and what better way to attract a student than to use bright colors and glitter. My discourse community used posters as our main genre when it comes to advertising our club.

Chaidez 9 Dianna Chaidez Masha Fedorova Writing 2 21 January 2019 WP1: Associated Student Body Posters Discourse communities are a way for people to feel a part of something bigger than themselves. A discourse community consists of members of a group with similar goals who try and achieve the latter. In the article, “Discourse Community”, Swales explains how to identify a discourse community with distinctive characteristics. The essay by Kerry Dirk, “Navigating Genres”, explains how it is important for genres to have a beginning somewhere because by having more than one example gives a template to people in the future to base their actions on. Mike Bunn gives insight in his article, “How to Read Like a Writer”, about how some questions about other writer’s writing may help members of a discourse community successfully express their ideas. In high school I was the vice president of my schools Associated Student Body (ASB); moreover, almost all these six characteristics can be identified in my club. Throughout the school year, my school’s Student Government implemented their ideas, activities, and goals onto posters. Our posters included location, attire, and rules our student body should be informed about. An important detail to a perfect poster was having all the facts about the events we were promoting on it. School posters also had an array of visuals to demand the student’s attention. My school’s poster making was a genre that was an essential tool for encouraging school-wide participation for events and lifting people’s spirits. The six defining characteristics of a discourse community can easily be identified in any successful club. The first characteristic, according to Swales, consists of having an agreed set of common goals for the club. These goals are public and used as a staple to the club’s

Chaidez 10 advancement as a whole. In the club, we aimed to help others, unify the student body, and increase student interaction at school-wide events. These goals were accomplished through constant motivation and hard work. Moreover, as Dirk put it, it is important for anything involving writing to have a starting point (Dirk 251). In Dirk’s example, “George Washington giving the first State of the Union” (Dirk 252) it is evident that having a reference to is the ideal way to make an informed decision. ASB made its goals when the club first begun about making the school more unified and involved. These goals are still what ASB strives for after all these years. The second characteristic suggests the club of having intercommunication among its members. All club members had to consistently communicate with the rest of the group when it came to hosting activities and meetings. In order to be a part of Student Government, a student was to attend weekly meetings, communicate with one another through text, and it was required for all of us to learn to do posters with information on our school activities. This helped keep the whole school updated on what was going on. A big factor in achieving smoothly run activities was set upon communication between members and share what they needed in order for their event to perfectly function. The third characteristic in a discourse community is participatory mechanisms. Fundraising is a helpful tool for any successful club, so if a person were not to participate in those activities, they are not necessarily a part of the club because of their lack of participation. The school required students to participate in quarterly fundraisers and rallies. We had a point system where people that did not go to events and lacked points would get kicked out of the club. People tried to pay their way out of doing the fundraisers by paying out of pocket half the price they would make doing the fundraiser because it was less work. However, a satisfying feeling

Chaidez 11 would not be achieved unless students went through the hard work of selling cards, snacks, and clothing. The fourth characteristic of a discourse community is possessing one or more genres in the communicative furtherance of its aims. A club should have expectations of how an exemplary member should act. Although there is no written outline as to how a Student Body member should behave, their expectations a member of the club should have for themselves. There will always be club members putting in one hundred percent effort, as well as, those who do the bare minimum in order to add another club to their college applications. The members who work hard will be recognized, and the lazy members will be rooted out. In Bunn’s article he states: ”You are trying to understand how the piece of writing was put together by the author and what you can learn about writing by reading a particular text” (Bunn 72). With that being said, it is only fair to assume that by learning to be an exemplary member, students should follow the example of past presidents of the club and see what ideas they implicated into the club. Additionally, by examining the actions of the past presidents, it will be easier for a student to behave similarly with an example in mind. The fifth characteristic of a discourse community is having acquired some specific lexis. Abbreviations can show just how successful a club can be, so it is always fun to have club lingo only club members know what it means. Our official club name was the Associated Student Body (ASB), which is a very well-known club throughout the country. Another example of this is a game we hosted once a year called You Only Place Once (YOPO), where we created an activity filled with games that you were only allowed to participate in once your high school career. The sixth characteristic of a discourse community is having a threshold level of members with a suitable degree of relevant content and discoursal expertise. There are many factors when

Chaidez 12 it comes to letting new members into clubs. In order to get into ASB, a student had to do a lengthy application where they not only had to write personal essays, but required teacher recommendations and grade checks. ASB dedicated at least an hour every day for poster making. The activities directors were well aware of how important our posters were when it came to spreading news across the campus. Swales states; “a discourse community uses its participatory mechanisms primarily to provide information … membership implies uptake of the informational opportunities” (Swales 26). Although Swales mentions buying an annual subscription in order to be considered a part of the community (Swales 26), ASB students were strictly taught how to make posters as part of giving back to the club. Making posters was crucial for every ASB student to learn. The survival of student's membership in the club depended on poster making The posters were used to broadcast a variety of subjects such as schoolwide events, dress code, and inspirational quotes. The exact facts of any social event at school had to be on every poster. An ideal poster would be legible with the characteristics of time, date, and location on every poster. It was essential for the latter to be written the biggest and at the very top of every poster. As Swales would put it, members of the society would develop discoursal expectations (Swales 26). ASB students were expected to have this primary function embedded in their brain because it is important to ask yourself if what you wrote on the poster states when and how to get to the event. The ASB would promote our school’s annual blood drive with those characteristics. Then specific attire, if any, would be stated underneath such as to bring a short-sleeved shirt. It is important to state whether food would be provided or if students are responsible for bringing food for themselves on the poster as well. Then color needs to be added to the poster. Students need illustrations on posters in order to catch their attention. Having pictures of corresponding symbols to our events was important. During spirit week it was important to

Chaidez 13 surround all the boring facts with colorful drawings. On spirit week it was important for ASB to draw symbols that represented each day. On Tie Dye Day we wrote the date and dress code with colorful fonts and then added t-shirts all around the edge with tie-dye designs. When it came to Disney Day, ASB took it into their own hands to have the details written in Disney Font and drawing Disney characters throughout the poster. These activities were not only meant for the students, but we anticipated the staff and teachers to also partake in these activities. Our school had a newfound appreciation for our posters the more they got creative. When we want students to donate to our blood drive, we draw posters on red paper with The Red Cross symbols and information on the dates and times students can donate blood. Visualization is always essential because students pay far more attention to pictures than words, so by drawing lots of visuals, a student tends to stop and read the posters. More specifically to an event, we did hundreds of inspirational posters when the Las Vegas shooting had occurred. The whole student body had been deeply affected by this terrible event because two of the most inspirational and caring teachers at school had been impacted by this event since they were both present at the festival. We made it our goal to lift the spirits of the student body. We made posters with inspirational quotes and the words #BignamiStrong to put up all over campus. Our school rallied together with tons of posters to take to their son’s baseball game and support him because both his parents were in the hospital. Our whole school was working together to fight through this terrible event. Those posters impacted the school and when we showed up to the baseball game hundreds of students showed up to show their support. Posters are versatile because they not only state events, but motivate students to be there for one another in a time of need. The posters we made all had a purpose, whether it to inform students of dress code for spirit week, get them to donate blood, or bring our school to support others in times of need. A poster is as good as what you

Chaidez 14 make of it, so it is essential to always keep in mind who the intended audience is and the purpose of the poster because this helps decide what illustrations, words, and colors a poster should have. Posters function as ASB’s primary tool for distributing necessary and vital information to the student body. Without the posters, students would never participate in rallies, blood drives, and spirit week. Students depend on the posters around the school to feed them news and to encourage them to participate in the school’s activities. This genre functions as constant news reports on school events. Posters at schools act as social media accounts because they give live content on events students care about. Students read posters to learn about how to get involved in school. Swales states it is essential for “members to have a suitable degree of relevant content” (Swales 27). In other words, if a student is not regularly active in school activities and is not aware of the events occurring, then they should not be allowed to be in ASB. A discourse community is a club with goals the club members want to achieve. By using the six characteristics Swales wrote about, it is easy to identify if a club is a discourse community. A club’s ability to implement effective ways to share their ideas makes for a successful club. ASB uses posters to share school news. It is highly advised to state the whereabouts, date, and time of events on every poster. It is also imperative to add as many relevant visuals to every poster as possible. Students are more likely to read a poster if they are attracted to it, and what better way to attract a student than to use bright colors and glitter. My discourse community used posters as our main genre when it comes to advertising our club.

Chaidez 15 Criteria Opening: the paper is introduced appropriately for the assignment so that the reader is clear about the writer’s intention. Appropriate context is provided. interest.

The writer has encouraged a reader’s

Writer’s Questions Is my thesis statement matching my topic sentences? Can my intro paragraph be more clear by rewriting it and moving around sentences?

The thesis is clear and appropriate for the assignment.

Reader’s Comments I think your thesis is good, and I see how your intro paragraph is relating to the rest of your paper. I may include a little more in your thesis about discourse communities – so essentially combining your current thesis statement with one that includes a reference to discourse communities since you will be talking about Swales’ characteristics throughout. I actually really like the way you structured your paragraph, bringing in each of the articles and essays we discussed. I think it would be okay to move or delete the sentences after “almost all of these six characteristics can be identified in my club” because the sentences following seem to be more analysis than introduction (which is fine, you can keep them where they are or distribute them throughout you essay into different paragraphs).

Readability—organization, clarity, cohesion, and flow: the ideas are organized and structured in a manner appropriate for the assignment The student shows skill and knowledge of transitions and bridge building to help the reader follow the flow of ideas. Paragraphs are unified around one idea and one point. Sentences are constructed and arranged effectively to show variety, clarity, and concision. Word choice is precise, clear, effective, appropriate, and interesting.

Should I connect the endings of my paragraphs to the next paragraph’s topic Should I split up more paragraphs into smaller ones because there are too many ideas in one? Should I add those topic sentences in the smaller paragraphs into my thesis statement? Should I expand on my word choice to make my writing stronger?

I actually think you are okay without doing so. Often when people make it a point to transition from one paragraph to another with a concluding sentence, it seems too formal or forced whereas a general concluding sentence for the paragraph itself I think is a better way to go. There is only one that I though you should maybe split (the poster paragraph) because you have a lot of great ideas but they have a tendency to get lost within such a large paragraph. I think it’s okay to exclude specifics from your thesis since I believe your thesis covers a large area. I think your word choice is good, but it could use some variety, so I would just avoid using the same word twice in a sentence (like in your third characteristic paragraph you said “points” twice in the same sentence). Just be a bit wary of repetition.

Chaidez 16 Development: the ideas and points are clearly and appropriately developed with sufficient details so as to show depth of thought and ability to link generalizations and main points with specific support. Development goes beyond restating others’ words and work and includes the writer’s own analysis and explanation/reasoning. Outside sources are accurately and honestly introduced, quoted, paraphrased, summarized, integrated, and documented.

Should I focus more on my analysis rather than having many ideas with insufficient argument/analysis? Should I rewrite my topic sentences relating to the six characteristics to make it my own? How? Should I take out articles introduced that don’t actually help my argument, but actually make it sound weak because of insufficient analysis

I think there is a good balance between evidence and analysis. If this is something that concerns you, I would add in a couple of more points of analyzation, but in my opinion I think you are fine without it. I think your topic sentences are fine, but if you’d like, you can say something slightly different but with the same meaning like for the fourth characteristic: The fourth characteristic involves the utilization of one or more genres in order to further the communicative goals of our group. I would take out any of the quotes that do not follow your argument -0 so at one point you quoted Bunn from page 72 in your further characteristic paragraph and I think it will make it better if you take it out – only include things that further your argument.

Closing: the piece of writing is concluded in a way that is appropriate for the purpose and audience (closing statement) The conclusion provides coherence with the intention noted in the introduction and the support provided in the development of the piece of writing.

Writing conventions—compassion and consideration for the reader: shows care in revising, editing, and proofreading so as to eliminate most problems with standard English usage, syntax, punctuation, spelling, and grammar. Although the reader might encounter an occasional error, there should be no pattern of errors; shows

Is my conclusion following my introduction paragraph’s topics or just partial? How can I rewrite my conclusion to match my introduction paragraph without making it sound too similar and making my argument weak?

Is my syntax, grammar, spelling, and punctuation okay? Should I refrain from using similar punctuation and grammar throughout my writing that it looks too structured and boring?

Your conclusion seems to take from each paragraph, but I would attempt adding a bit more in terms of transition as it comes across a bit stilted. So, I said earlier that there were a few sentences in your introduction that I would move around – I think you could actually be really successful if you moved them to the conclusion paragraph and took out any repetition after the transition. I think that is definitely something that would improve the quality of the paragraph and allow you to strengthen your argument once again. _ commas _ pronoun reference _ semi-colons _subject-verb agreement _parallel construction _dashes _verb tense _capitalization _spelling _ apostrophes

Chaidez 17 precise and consistent adherence to documentation conventions when outside sources are used.

_articles Everything looks okay – of course there is a possibility I may have missed the occasional misplaced comma or whatnot, but there definitely aren’t any glaring errors present. I think similar punctuation use is fine because it allows you to be uniform throughout your essay.

Writer’s Name: Dianna Chaidez

Reader’s Name: Helena Stanley

Chaidez 18 Dianna Chaidez Masha Fedorova Writing 2 26 January 2019 Associated Student Body Posters Discourse communities are a way for people to feel a part of something bigger than themselves. It consists of members of a group with similar goals who try and achieve the latter.

Commented [MOU4]: Good title but if you decide to revise this paper for the final portfolio, let’s make it even more interesting. Commented [MOU5]: They? (because you’re talking about in plural in the first sentence)

In high school I was the vice president of my school’s Associated Student Body (ASB); moreover, almost all six characteristics in the Swales article can be identified in my club.

Commented [MOU6]: I would break up this sentence because the two parts convey two different ideas.

Throughout the school year, my school’s Student Government implemented their ideas, activities, and goals onto posters. An important detail to a perfect poster is having all the facts about the events we were promoting on it. School posters also had an array of visuals to demand the student’s attention. My school’s poster making was a genre that was an essential tool for

Commented [MOU7]: I’m not sure if you need to give any details in the introduction.

encouraging school-wide participation for events and lifting people’s spirits. Not only do posters inform and motivate students by using visuals, but also implement moral support at school when it is needed. In the article, “Discourse Community,” [First Name] Swales explains how to identify the six characteristics of a discourse community in any club. The first characteristic consists of having an agreed set of common goals for the club (Swales 24). These goals are public and used as a staple to the club’s advancement as a whole. In the club, we aim to help others, unify the student body, and increase student interaction at school-wide events. These goals were accomplished through constant motivation and hard work. ASB announced its goals when the club first begun about making the school more unified and involved. These goals are still what ASB strives for after all these years.

Deleted: ,

Chaidez 19 The second characteristic suggests the club of having intercommunication among its members (Swales 24). All club members had to consistently communicate with the rest of the group when it came to hosting activities and meetings. In order to be a part of ASB, a student has

Commented [MOU8]: I feel that your narrative would flow better if you just cite Swales and focus more on the community itself.

to attend weekly meetings, communicate with one another through text, and learn to do posters with information on our school activities. This helped keep the whole school updated on what was going on. A big factor in achieving smoothly run activities was set upon communication

Commented [MOU9]: Transition

between members and share what they needed in order for their event to perfectly function. It was important for all of ASB to share contact information because you never know when you might need someone’s help. It was not unusual, but common for an ASB member to ask help from their peers. Asking for helping is what further connected the group as a whole. The third characteristic in a discourse community is participatory mechanisms. Fundraising is a helpful tool for any successful club, so if a person were not to participate in those activities, they are not necessarily a part of the club because of their lack of participation.

Commented [MOU10]: What is the relationship between this part and the first part (about fundraising)?

The school required students to participate in quarterly fundraisers and rallies. We had a point system where people that did not go to events and lacked points would get kicked out of the club. People tried to pay their way out of doing the fundraisers by paying out of pocket half the price they would make doing the fundraiser because it was less work. However, a satisfying feeling would not be achieved unless students went through the hard work of selling cards, snacks, and clothing. The fourth characteristic of a discourse community is possessing one or more genres in the communicative furtherance of its aims (Swales 15). A club should have expectations of how an exemplary member should act. Although there is no written outline as to how a Student Body member should behave, their expectations a member of the club should have for themselves. There will always be club members putting in one hundred percent effort, as well as, those who

Commented [MOU11]: I’m a bit confused by this phrasing.

Chaidez 20 do the bare minimum in order to add another club to their college applications. The members who work hard will be recognized, and the lazy members will be rooted out. It is only fair to assume that by learning to be an exemplary member, students should follow the example of past presidents of the club and see what ideas they implicated into the club. Additionally, by examining the actions of the past presidents, it is easier for a student to behave similarly.

Commented [MOU12]: Does this sentence repeat the point made in the previous sentence?

The fifth characteristic of a discourse community is having acquired some specific lexis (Swales 25). Abbreviations can show just how successful a club can be, so it is always fun to have club lingo only club members know what it means. Our official club name was the Associated Student Body (ASB), which is a very well-known club throughout the country. Another example of this is a game we hosted once a year called You Only Place Once (YOPO), where we created an activity filled with games that you were only allowed to participate in once your high school career. This made students eager to participate because they saw only a selected few students could do it. The sixth characteristic of a discourse community is having a threshold level of members with a suitable degree of relevant content and discoursal expertise (Swales 27). There are many factors when it comes to letting new members into clubs. In order to get into ASB, a student had to do a lengthy application where they not only had to write personal essays, but require teacher recommendations and grade checks. Getting into ASB was extremely competitive and not many students had the patience and time to be involved in it. ASB dedicated at least an hour every day for poster making. The activities directors were well aware of how important our posters were when it came to spreading news across the campus. Swales states; “a discourse community uses its participatory mechanisms primarily to provide information … membership implies uptake of the informational opportunities” (Swales 26). Although Swales mentions buying an annual subscription in order to be considered a part of

Commented [MOU13]: Why are abbreviations used? Are there any other words that are specific for your DC?

Chaidez 21 the community (Swales 26), ASB students were strictly taught how to make posters as part of

Commented [MOU14]: Why did you include this example?

giving back to the club. Making posters was crucial for every ASB student to learn. The survival of student's membership in the club depended on poster making The posters were used to broadcast a variety of subjects such as schoolwide events, dress

Commented [MOU15]: I think that this paragraph is about the importance of poster making and its goals. To make this paragraph stronger, you can insert some brief examples of events/how making posters helped other students to learn etc.

code, and inspirational quotes. The exact facts of any social event at school had to be on every poster. An ideal poster would be legible with the characteristics of time, date, and location on every poster. It was essential for the latter to be written the biggest and at the very top of every poster. As Swales would put it, members of the society would develop discoursal expectations (Swales 26). ASB students were expected to have this primary function embedded in their brain because it is important to ask yourself if what you wrote on the poster states when and how to get to the event. The ASB would promote our school’s annual blood drive with those characteristics. Then specific attire, if any, would be stated underneath such as to bring a short-sleeved shirt. It is important to state whether food would be provided or if students are responsible for bringing food for themselves on the poster as well. Then color needs to be added to the poster. Visualization is always essential because students pay far more attention to pictures than words, moreover, a student tends to stop and read the posters with visuals. Having pictures of corresponding symbols to our events is important. Before events at my school it is important to put up our creatively drawn on posters all over campus in order for everyone to see them. Students advertise weeks and even months in advance, so students are reminded constantly of upcoming events. Also, ASB has to be smart about where they put up posters. It is better to have posters in front of school where students enter rather that in a restroom stall because more people see them. During spirit week it was important to surround all the boring facts with colorful drawings. On spirit week it is important for ASB to draw symbols that represent each themed

Commented [MOU16]: These sentences need a bit more work. Their organization is quite similar. You’re making a point about how something is important. Perhaps, there is another way to say this?

Chaidez 22 day. On Tie Dye Day we wrote the date and dress code with colorful fonts and then added tshirts all around the edge with tie-dye designs. When it came to Disney Day, ASB took it into their own hands to have the details written in Disney Font and drawing Disney characters throughout the poster. These activities were not only meant for the students, but we anticipated the staff and teachers to also partake in these activities. Our school had a newfound appreciation for our posters the more they got creative. When we want students to donate to our blood drive, we draw posters on red paper with The Red Cross symbols and information on the dates and times students can donate blood. This helps motivate students to donate blood. More specific to an event, we did hundreds of inspirational posters when the Las Vegas shooting had occurred. The whole student body rallied to support two of the most inspirational and caring teachers at our school that had been impacted by this event. We made posters with inspirational quotes such as “keep your head up high”, “you’re not alone” and the phrase #BignamiStrong to put up all over campus. ASB and the student body took tons of posters to the Bignami’s son baseball game and support him because his parents were in the hospital. Our whole school was working together to fight through this terrible event. Those posters severely impacted the school and it was amazing to see hundreds of students with posters at the baseball game showing their support. Posters are versatile because they not only state events, but motivate students to be there for one another in a time of need. The posters we made all had a purpose, whether it to inform students of dress code for spirit week, get them to donate blood, or bring our school to support others in times of need. A poster is as good as what you make of it, so it is essential to always keep in mind who the intended audience is and the purpose of the poster because this helps decide what illustrations, words, and colors a poster should have. Posters function as ASB’s primary tool for distributing necessary and vital information to the student body. Without the posters, students would never participate in rallies, blood drives,

Chaidez 23 and spirit week. Students depend on the posters around the school to feed them news and to encourage them to participate in the school’s activities. This genre functions as constant news reports on school events. Posters at schools act as social media accounts because they give live content on events students care about. Students read posters to learn about how to get involved in school. Swales states it is essential for “members to have a suitable degree of relevant content” (Swales 27). In other words, if a student is not regularly active in school activities and is not aware of the events occurring, then they should not be allowed to be in ASB. A discourse community is a club with goals the club members want to achieve together. By using the six characteristics Swales wrote about, it is easy to identify if a club is a discourse community. The ability to implement effective ways to share their ideas makes for a successful club, moreover, ASB uses posters to share school news. It is highly advised to state the whereabouts of events on every poster. It is also imperative to add as many relevant visuals to every poster as possible. Students are more likely to read a poster if they are attracted to it, and what better way to attract a student than to use bright colors and glitter. Students love to read inspirational quotes and are motivated to be there for one another. My discourse community used posters as our main genre when it comes to advertising our club.

Chaidez 24 Works Cited Swales. “Discourse Community.” Discourse Community.

Name: Dianna Chaidez

Commented [MOU17]: MLA?

Grade: 9/10

Criteria Opening: the paper is introduced appropriately for the assignment so that the reader is clear about the writer’s intention. Appropriate context is provided. The writer has encouraged a reader’s interest. The thesis is clear and appropriate for the assignment. Readability—organization, clarity, cohesion, and flow: the ideas are organized and structured in a manner appropriate for the assignment The student shows skill and knowledge of transitions and bridge building to help the reader follow the flow of ideas. Paragraphs are unified around one idea and one point. Sentences are constructed and arranged effectively to show variety, clarity, and concision. Word choice is precise, clear, effective, appropriate, and interesting. Development: the ideas and points are clearly and appropriately developed with sufficient details so as to show depth of thought and ability to link generalizations and main points with specific support. Development goes beyond restating others’ words and work and includes the writer’s own analysis and explanation/reasoning. Outside sources are accurately and honestly introduced, quoted, paraphrased, summarized, integrated, and documented. Closing: the piece of writing is concluded in a way that is appropriate for the purpose and audience (closing statement)

Needs more work

Strong

Chaidez 25 The conclusion provides coherence with the intention noted in the introduction and the support provided in the development of the piece of writing. Writing conventions—compassion and consideration for the reader: shows care in revising, editing, and proofreading so as to eliminate most problems with standard English usage, syntax, punctuation, spelling, and grammar. Although the reader might encounter an occasional error, there should be no pattern of errors; shows precise and consistent adherence to documentation conventions when outside sources are used.