Witch War And Peace

Peace talks Yesterday I posted a bit on Honor and Revenge. This was in in response to E-mails asking Why I never did anything back (personal, thus not an obligation), why I called them cowards (snipe attacks) and if I thought Lee had a right to vengeance (no crime, no justice) that prompted the following exchange, which I am saving here because as, I've said the truth needs to be available, and this way I can control if/when it gets deleted. So here are the peace talks, including a YIM, which I normally wouldn't do without permission, but in this case it's necessary. I still encourage everyone to put out their own truths on this matter, no to continue any sort of attacks, but to make the truth available. Truth spreads as easy as lies, if it is available. So mote it be. ****** BEGIN******

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 19:33 (local) (no subject) muladhara

It is rumored that I accuse David aka ShadowStrider of raping and stalking me. I do not. I hope, neither will my husband any longer. If he does, he is wrong. It did not happen. David and I had a relationship that ended badly. I made up the rape and stalking for attention. It did not happen. I seduced him, not visa-versa. I was and am 100% culpable. He never called, emailed, showed up anywhere without permission. He never did anything obsessive or creepy. He has never done anything harmful to anyone and is a good person. Whatever he says happened between him and me, and anyone else, is the truth. He always tells the whole truth and never lies at all. What I did was horrible and wrong and I apologize. I will not say any differently in private. Do not ask me to, because I will not. If you would like to email to test if I will in fact stand by this revision of history, or that this email/post truly originated with me, feel free to at [email protected] ReplyThreadReply | DeleteReply | | ScreenReply | | | FreezeReply | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | |

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umbraintentus

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2007-07-12 19:56 (local) (no subject)

A pity this had to be forced from you. thank you, even if I do not quite believe it. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 20:01 (local) (no subject)

Yes. Tis. Would that I were a better person. Are we done now? ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 20:13 (local) (no subject) serious

I certainly hope so, and your not 100% culpable. it takes two to tango, and I share in the blame of our affair. you put a post-it note on my windshield that said "peace" on it, years ago. I still have it. I've hoped for peace for a long time. please let it last this time. I never wanted to hurt you, or Lee, and I never wanted to hurt either. I walked out because I loved you both. I don't expect to be friends Sophia. but, peace is possible.

so if you want it done, all you have to do is leave it done. Have a good life dear. Now fuck off. ; ) ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 20:16 (local) (no subject)

I hope you won't see it as "undoing it" if I still don't really want to share friends so much. If someone's off stirring stuff up and running stories, I will not be their buddy. I do not mean anything by this other than personally I choose not to and I didn't last time either. As long as that won't break our peace accord I think we're finished. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 20:25 (local) (no subject)

Whatever Sophia. If you don't like people because they are my friend, your loss. as to stirring things up, I know how that goes...why not try this... it's from one of my favorite plays... SCENE 2: Rabbi's study. The background shows shelves of sifrei-kodesh. There are two chairs in the room. The rabbi is sitting and studying when Yettele enters. Be

sure the fan is turned on prior to this scene. Rabbi: Yettele, so good to see you. What can I do for you today? Yettele: (sitting in the empty chair) Rabbi, it seems that people in town are avoiding me. They don't want to hear my stories or talk to me. Rabbi: Could it be that your stories about other people are hurtful, Yettele? Yettele: Hurt by my stories? My goodness! They're only words, not sticks or stones. What harm can come from a word? Certainly no more harm than from a feather. Rabbi: I think I can help you, Yettele, but first please go home and bring back the biggest, nicest feather pillow you have in your house. Narrator: Yettele didn't understand how a feather pillow would solve her problem, but she went to do as the rabbi asked nonetheless. An hour later she returned with a feather pillow in hand. Rabbi: Ah, good Yettele. (Rabbi rips open the pillow and the feathers fly out.) Narrator: The rabbi cut open the pillow and a wind came along, picking up the feathers and scattering them in every direction. Rabbi: And now, Yettele, I want you to collect all the feathers and bring them back to me. I will help you solve your problem as soon as you have collected all the feathers that were in this pillow. (Rabbi walks away from Yettele.) Yettele: How can I possibly collect all these feathers? They're flying in every direction! Narrator: Yettele scurried about collecting feathers all that day and on into the night. [A poster of a sun is carried across the stage.] By the time the sun came up the next morning, she was exhausted and miserable. She had been able to find only a small fraction of the feathers that had once been in the pillow. Tired, hungry, and unhappy, she returned to the rabbi. Yettele: Rabbi, this is all I could find. If I spent the rest of my life looking for the feathers, I could never get them all back. Rabbi: And so it is with those stories of yours, Yettele. Once the words leave your lips, they are as impossible to put back as the feathers. Narrator: Yettele thought long and hard about what the rabbi said and came to understand that when she told stories about others, it hurt them. Then she realized that she could still tell stories: she would tell stories about herself. She told stories about her childhood and her marriage to her wonderful husband Mendel. People loved these stories.

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alphapythia

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2007-07-12 21:07 (local) (no subject)

Indeed. It's horrible and yes, my loss. You're right about everything. Just making sure the choice to keep some distance wasn't going to be perceived as an attack. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 22:02 (local) (no subject)

you know right now the things that are going to break the peace accord are 1) the continued sarcasm i'm seeing here 2) scapegoating people for your actions (Stirring up shit in this case) 3) your continued lack of ability to take responsibility for your actions. evidenced by points 1 and 2 above. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 22:09 (local) (no subject)

I am being very sincere. Succinct but sincere. All I want is peace. You *are right* about the rumor spreading. It's impossible to undo. All I can do is correct it where I hear it and publicly state the contrary. I'm not trying to blame anyone for anything. "Stirring up shit" does not mean intentionally doing something bad. I only mean, I choose, even when self-detrimental, not to hang out with people who want to bring this all back up to my table. If I had had the honor to tell the truth before though of course, this never would've happened. Clear? ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 22:33 (local) (no subject)

We shall see. I really want peace Sophia. Surprise me and let it happen. as far as "people who want to bring this all back up to my table." it wasn't on your table. if you weren't reading my blog you would never have known about it. She wanted to know about my PAST. MY past. I answered those questions. it had nothing to do with you except that you were an element of my past. I was happy to leave you there. So your stalking me via the internet caused an over reaction, that hurt another person in this community. YOUR fault. if it caused you or Lee pain, also YOUR FAULT. all because you can't leave me alone. you are like a bird nailed to the ground by one wing. flopping in circles. stop it Sophia. Back off so we all can heal. YOU put it on the table. YOU caused all this over the last week because you couldn't leave it alone. YOU.

So, leave M out of it, and take responsibility.

"So long as you continue to be so predictable, oh queen, I need not face you at all. You are your own worst enemy." -Tasadar ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 22:40 (local) (no subject)

I see what you mean. Ok. I can't really undo saying, "it never happened" and ever be believed. Even if I wanted to, I have nothing I could say or do to undo my confession though, so it's over now. You see? There's nothing to fight about anymore. You've won. ReplyParentReply | DeleteReply | | ScreenReply | | | FreezeReply | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 22:18 (local) (no subject)

I should add however that if it is a requirement of peace with you that I not be picky about who's saying what to whom and who's saying what,

I'm willing to do that. Whatever you want, you got it. Whatever I need to say or do wherever, I'm up for. Just be clear about what you want and it's all yours. Seriously. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 22:39 (local) (no subject)

okay, your obviously doing this for a reason, and it's pretty obvious that it's fear based. I want you to honestly tell me what your afraid of. why are you doing this. or is this all fog of war for some other action. "for every hand extended another lies in wait, keep your eye on that one. Anticipate." - Ani Difranco ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 22:45 (local) (no subject)

I'm doing this because I am tired of being afraid, not because I still am. I care much less about what anyone thinks of me than I do saying or doing whatever it takes to appease. (You don't have to unscreen that comment. I don't want anyone

to think I'm reneging on my confession by it. I'm just trying to be honest *with you.* Ok?) It's up to you though. I'm on aim, same name, if you want to speed this exchange up (and log it of course for your records. )I just really want to get to a place where you understand I can't undo this even if I tried and it's over. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 23:18 (local) (no subject)

there was never a reason to be afraid. I never wanted to hurt you. I did the only honorable thing I could. YOU and Lee began telling the "rape" story. you mislead people all the way. and I was too stupid not to see that you were even lying to me. you have no idea how much you have hurt me. no idea how much I've suffered because of your lies. I can't even have a relationship because I'm too afraid to trust anymore. I've spent all these years alone, because I'm too afraid to that she will do to me what you have done. I mean, you said you loved me and look what you did to me. you claim to have been raped physically, but with that lie you've raped me on an emotional and psychic level for years. you never had anything to fear from me. ever. and yet you tortured me with your lies and rumors all this time. why? tell me why. because I had the guts to walk away from a bad love triangle? is that it? I walked out on the great and mighty Sophia? don't give me the afraid bullshit. you know better. unless your so caught up in your web of lies that you can no longer see the light of reality.

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alphapythia Date: 2007-07-12 23:23 (local) Subject: (no subject) I must've been afraid of being caught lying. You're a good person who would never hurt anyone I know and what I did was terrible. Yes, I started telling the lie because I was hurt and angry because you left. You did the right thing and I punished you for it. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia 2007-07-12 23:41 (local)

Subject: (no subject) My point is, even if I am, what you really want (other than me to undo all of it, which I can't) is for everyone to know you are innocent. It's all in writing, in public, it can't be undone. (I even sent it to Jaden, so you'd have another witness.) What

is, "my way" that I'm trying to get, that I could possibly be trying to get, other than peace? No threats, no woo-woo, nothing left to yammer about except what a crappy thing I did and that I should be disliked, which I'm cool as a cucumber with. Tell me, if other than that, if you can think of a thing I could get out of this? No. Everyone will believe you, and if they don't, you have evidence and you will be vindicated and celebrated as the good person you are and I'll be maligned and punished as the crappy person I am. You can try to keep fighting but no matter what you say, I'll agree that it's the truth and you never did anything wrong. I know it must be hard to realize so suddenly that it's over after so long fighting. My heart was filled with such peace when I decided to write the post I did. I hope that yours can be too when you realize the weight of its meaning to you. It's all going to be ok now. I hope that you find a girl deserving of your affections and are able to make a good life with her soon. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 23:47 (local)

Subject: (no subject) then you don't understand me at all. I don't want you to say anything you don't believe. if you don't believe it you haven't taken responsibility for your actions. and then you don't grow. I hope it is over. I really do. but I've seen this

before, and then it all went to hell again ReplyParentReply | DeleteReply | | ScreenReply | | | FreezeReply | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | |

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umbraintentus Date: 2007-07-12 23:33 (local) Subject: (no subject) I just wish I could believe you meant that. but at this point I have a hard time not believing that your not just crying wolf to get your way. ReplyParentReply | DeleteReply | | ScreenReply | | | FreezeReply | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | |

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umbraintentus 2007-07-12 23:30 (local) (no subject)

btw, no AOL product will ever touch my PC. so no dice there. ReplyParentReply | ThreadReply | | DeleteReply | | | ScreenReply | | | | FreezeReply | | | | | Track ThisReply | | | | | | LinkReply | | | | | | |

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alphapythia Date: 2007-07-12 23:55 (local) Subject: (no subject) Eh. In any case. I've done all I can white. White flags, irreversible confessions et all. I hope you're able to heal and move on now. ------ YIM text here---alphapythia: this ok? alphapythia: hrm guess you arent on- or have your settings to private. i'm not trying to bother you, just wrap up this thread and close the book on all this once and for all. hopefully by the time you get this it'll all be wraped up cheshire8888: just not used to talking to you directly. sorry. takes time to make myself not freak out and be functional alphapythia: its ok- this is all terribly awkward alphapythia: dont worry i want to wrap this up put it to bed and never touch it again myself alphapythia: though ill leave my confession public for sometime, just to make sure everyone gets a look cheshire8888: please mean that. alphapythia: i do alphapythia: listen, i know, i think i know you wouldnt hurt anyone alphapythia: but you have to understand as a mother, i care about *nothing* other than protecting my kid, and on the off off chance that you, or maybe some crazy friend of yours has gotten twitchy, i dont know- nothing is worth worrying about her alphapythia: so honestly, thats what this is all about alphapythia: when i put her first, i dont regret my decisions ever alphapythia: and her first means, make peace, do whatever it takes to just keep life calm cheshire8888: why would I hurt your child? alphapythia: i dont know you david, anymore than you know me

cheshire8888: that's insane sophia alphapythia: of course it is, parenthood is nuts alphapythia: but its honest alphapythia: i dont want anything or anyone to get so hurt and angry that they might do something to her alphapythia: you, anyone else ive hurt, random strangers who eat babies, i dunno alphapythia: no argument is worth me being up at night worrying about that though cheshire8888: I talked about suing over all this and my main concern was your child, I even explored the idea that perhaps the money could be put aside in a trust for your child... but then thought that was just to wierd/creepy alphapythia: so let me make my apologies to whoever i can, mend any bridges i can, wherever i can and sleep well alphapythia: well i appretiate the sentament alphapythia: its not that shes really in danger, its that im tried of beiong afraid she is alphapythia: see the distinction? alphapythia: im not who i was when i did the crazy shit i did, anymore than you were- i mean damn, it just makes no sense to me at all. i assume youve changed a lot too- but i cant know in what ways. i hope in good ones, i assume so, but why should i keep up a war about it anyway? cheshire8888: yes. why do you think for a moment I would hurt a child. alphapythia: because im a mom and im nuts about my kid. i think random strangers might hurt her cheshire8888: i don't know Sophia. their was never a reason to start it. alphapythia: i dont *think you would* i just find no argument worth worrying about it over alphapythia: youre right alphapythia: ego i guess alphapythia: ego, attention, i dont know cheshire8888: Sophia. please. Heal. alphapythia: working on it alphapythia: i dont expect you to trust me. theres no need. i made this all very public on purpose

alphapythia: a private apology wouldve asked you to trust me- and i dont want to do that or have you think i would k? alphapythia: its public so you can point and say, even if for some god knows reason i start lying again, "well shes pretty fucked in the head eh? look what she said here." cheshire8888: i just wanted to love you. I never meant any of this to happen. I never thought you'd need to do wat you have... alphapythia: i know your attentions were good, and i didnt need shit- i mean in the way of this drama alphapythia: i wish i could explain, "oh this is why i did it" but i cant alphapythia: youth alphapythia: youth? alphapythia: insainity? alphapythia: wgo? alphapythia: i dunno alphapythia: ego even cheshire8888: so, basically I was ripped to shreads for ... no reason? thanks, maybe I'll laugh about that sometime when I feel better. alphapythia: well no good reason alphapythia: what reason could i possibly give that would justify it? alphapythia: talk about not taking responsibilty alphapythia: honestly, trying to understand why i made damn near any of the decisions i did then is rather like scrying into a brick cheshire8888: I can't even open up and really share myself with anyone because I regress to a fetal position and scream. i've spent the past almost 8 years having no real contact with people because I couldn't stand getting close to people. hell I flinch we people give me change at the drive through... alphapythia: i wish i could undo your trust issues that i created- all i can do though is publically pronouce your innocence and assure you, most women are perfectly nice and would never do such hurtful things cheshire8888: thanks. alphapythia: i understand. i hope the group of friends you have now can help you heal too

cheshire8888: no, not group of friends. people who request I come among them alphapythia: of course i know the agreeing with you about everything thing is a little extreem- im trying to prove a point- that im not going to fight and im not going to nitpick details. alphapythia: what matters is that youre vindicated, not who said what in which order what night cheshire8888: we could do this all night. you cna't fix me. only I can do that. I just need to know your not going to keep undoing the work I have to do anymore. alphapythia: well i hope you let them become friends, they are good people cheshire8888: I don't want to be vindicated. I didn't want to fight with you. alphapythia: i cant undo it david. its public, its out there alphapythia: youre right, but none the less- you deserve a clean slate right? alphapythia: thats the only gift i can give you and send you on your way to work the rest out yourself alphapythia: that and i will pray for a peaceful heart for all of us cheshire8888: I know you can't. just please let it end. you;ve already assured that I will be alone in all the ways it really counts for the rest of my life. isn't that punishment enough? let it end there. alphapythia: i may have, god forbid, done that to you for the last 8 years alphapythia: but seriously, and this may be the first non-self serving non fearful thing ive said or will say- if you do that from now on, you're doing it to yourself. please stop. i fucked you over. dont keep repeating it for my sake, k? nothign we "had" was worth that cheshire8888: longer, but I can fix some of it if you let me alone. alphapythia: two way street right? no more nasty posts at one another, declarations of war etc? we both need it dropped (exclding of course my confession, which as i said stays public for at least a few weeks for witnessing and screencaps) alphapythia: you heal. i heal. we move on. the lesson we learn is we are frucking wrong for each other and wqe dont have to repeat this lesson next time. cheshire8888: hell I learned that. *I* walked away. Lol alphapythia: magnanimous of you :) alphapythia: but you've carried the hurt with you, and we've both carried anger- thats gotta go too eh? alphapythia: i know thats not instant in deep self, it cant be, but our actions can reflect our intentions to let this go now

cheshire8888: please heal. and take care of your child (good/bad not having a name there) take care of Lee. but leave me to heal too. PLEASE alphapythia: absolutly, im done chatting about all this, leaving eachother alone dropping it is best for everyone (again- minus my public confession which is nesseary for a while) alphapythia: take care. see you, well maybe never and that'd be cool. still hope you're happy, over there, you know alphapythia: if you need to say something else please do alphapythia: i dont want anything unsaid alphapythia: even if its one final, "really sophia, FUCK YOU" thats cool cheshire8888: Well, I guess the my standard close is not an option. alphapythia: i dont know it so i wont know the difference :) cheshire8888: Sophia, you just don't understand sometimes. but that's cool. go to bed. have a good life, wake up and it can all be adream and I was never there to begin with. alphapythia: no i dont want that alphapythia: i want to learn my lesson on all this of course alphapythia: so i cant just forget it, right? alphapythia: i know you dont hate me david, i know this wasnt what you wanted cheshire8888: true. alphapythia: but i seriously think the best thing for healing is to let go as much as humanly possible alphapythia: dont you? cheshire8888: no. don't hate. cheshire8888: yes alphapythia: go find the person you thought i was alphapythia: im sure shes out there. stop letting my chameleon face fool or confuse you alphapythia: i wasnt ever her alphapythia: i was just a kid with a whole hell of a lot of charisma and unformed ethics

alphapythia: all you have to do to give love a chance is Will yourself to. you know that cheshire8888: lol. I'm thinking on giving an ethics lecture at CPCG. alphapythia: love under Will alphapythia: you can do this alphapythia: start with, "witches, do not date eachother. date muggles. two witches jsut way too much woo" :) alphapythia: (you know, maybe dont use "muggles" but whatever) alphapythia: i havent had time to go to a pno or gathering in any real way in years. thats not changing anytime soon btw alphapythia: so you wont be seeing me and having to deal with that anytime soon alphapythia: i might go to many paths, maaaaybe but thats it and thats pretty unlikely cheshire8888: Sophia. i'm not afraid of you. i'm afraid of being forced to harm you over this stuff, in self-defense. alphapythia: well i certainly dont want that cheshire8888: I've always fought from self-defense with you. alphapythia: but, presuming im proclaiming your innocence, what could i do to force that? i mean obviously i dont want that either\ alphapythia: something your idea of an attack and mine are different then, but thats alwats the case alphapythia: my bone to pick this last week wasnt with you, it was with mel, for many reasons. you took it as after you though and i understand that now. just covering my bases cheshire8888: Well, I just really want this to end. for both our futures and for everyone else that gets hurt over this. alphapythia: oh and i didnt think you were "afriad" of me, just saying for healing/distance sake- dont feel awkward, i wont be there cheshire8888: no, i felt responsable because she talked to me, and then all her friends cut her off. alphapythia: we were hardly all her friends, we barely saw mel alphapythia: and i very specifically asked that no one else change anything about thier relationship with her and as far as i know all of one other person wrote her off and that person and she hated each other anyway

alphapythia: i pulled away. i really think i have that right alphapythia: blah i dont know why im defending my actions alphapythia: it doesnt matter. cheshire8888: but you didn't have to. she didn't talk about anything but 6 months of time almost 8 years ago... that concerned you.... after that it was all energy theory and egyptian gods.\ alphapythia: mel knew how i would react to her going and talking with you about everything after id told her 100 times i wasnt even going to tell my "side" to her because i didnt want her to feel obligated to go dredge it all up alphapythia: she may have been testing to see if i really meant it, and maybe it really sucks that i did cheshire8888: okay. alphapythia: what has happened here, sadly is you and i got caught in a fight between lee and melpersonally i thinbk we were both pawns alphapythia: not consiously mind you cheshire8888: look. it is done Sophia. it should have never begun. I think we can both agree on that now right? alphapythia: just angry hurt people alphapythia: oh all in all it a totlally good thing it happened alphapythia: cause now its brought it all to the surface and its all on the table now cheshire8888: if peace comes yes. alphapythia: just dont feel responsible for me and mel's demise- i wish her all the best. we both take up all the space in a room though. how many of those can you have? it was perhaps inevitable alphapythia: oh and ill control my thrid parties if you keep yours leashed too on the peace thing- no one can be 100% but we can try cheshire8888: well, not sure what the Lee, mel thing is, but I'm sure it's none of my busness. alphapythia: oh lee and mel had a poly thing that ended badly- it was hardly a big deal except well, hearts got hurt you know alphapythia: public knowledge there, not a thing cheshire8888: so far as I know I have no third parties. theri are neutrals who care, and their are those who try to stir the shit for the fun of it....

cheshire8888: but i am alone Sophia alphapythia: hrm, in as much as i am alphapythia: in general i think lee and jaden are going to come to blows someday though, but neither of us can stop that i dun think alphapythia: hopefully it will have nothing to do with us :) alphapythia: you have people that really abhore me and in that name, they will "defend you" even if it means stirring shit up cheshire8888: lets hope. I don't want people to hurt for or over me alphapythia: and i have a half dozen people who would testify they saw you kill me if i asked- i think we can both do a lot to control their impulses alphapythia: hold peace and the ideals of peace in your heart and they will be attracted to you, it will spread- ill still be *wrong* mind you, im good with that alphapythia: wrong but at peace is good enough for me alphapythia: ok well i cant think of a thing else to say- its going to be ok now. seriously. it is. its over. you have work of life to do, so do i. trust in that work and we'll call it match and game- goes to black knight cheshire8888: good night Sophia. alphapythia: good *bye* david cheshire8888: farewell. ***********************END*************** so there, now it's all public. As to those “people that really abhore me(Sophia) and in that name, they will "defend you" even if it means stirring shit up” Well, I not sure I know who all of you are, and I'm sure you have your own private reasons to Abhore her, but let MY reasons rest. The only thing I've every asked anyone who would call me friend to do is to tell the truth, and that I still ask, not for hate, not for peace, but because it is the right thing. and to those who do call me friend... Yes, I'm aware that I do have friends, I was referring to Mel and her class above, who I hardly know, when I read her lines that was what went through my head, and I don't mean to slight you that have been there in the past, sorry if it seems that way.

As to being alone, I do mean that, I don't have an “army” at my back, I've never asked for that or wanted that. She clearly indicates she has people who would lie for her above, and I've never asked that from any one. I've never asked anyone to do anything but tell the truth.. an army that does not make. She declared war on me, and no one else, and like I said, I don't and didn't want people being hurt because of me. Just thought I'd explain that before anyone gets their feelings hurt. Because I know their have been people that have wanted to be my friend, and I've withdrawn from them, out of fear over this who thing. It's made me kind of suspicious. Consider me a rescue dog thats had one to many kicks. I hope you understand that. And thanks for being there. To Mel Sorry you go involved in all this. I've told you over and over how sorry I am. I don't know what the fight between you and Lee mentioned above could be, considering what you have told me doesn't indicate that their was a fight at all. I'm just sorry that you ended up being hurt in all this, and as I've said in past posts, I hope we can develop a friendship on our own. I know I can't replace anyone you've lost, and I don't want to, but I can try to be a new friend if you'll have me. This has grown to 21 pages ina word doc, so I'm shutting up now and we can all talk later. See you at PNO tonight.