Winning Habits

WE ARE WHAT WE REPEATEDLY DO. EXCELLENCE, THEN, IS NOT AN ACT BUT HABIT. – ARISTOTLE. We are recognized for our distinct set of behaviors. More precisely for our course of actions or attitudes we exhibit in our day to day life. Thus our character is a composite of out habits. “Sow a thought, reap an action, sow an action, reap a habit, sow a character, reap a destiny.” The maxim goes. And we can’t deny that our habits are the most powerful factors that govern our life. They are consistent, often flows in unconscious patterns, which defines our character and produce our effectiveness – or ineffectiveness. They influence a tremendous gravity pull-more than most people realize or world admit. Small Wonder some people glide effortlessly onwards and upwards at work, and so in life. They excel because of their distinguished and dignified habits. Reflected as an amalgam of knowledge, skill and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, what to do, and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our life, we have to have all three, which revolves around some basic principles often based in our own observations. These habits influence our objectives and goals towards a definite purpose and demarcate us from the others as a humane entity with a difference.

BE PROACTIVE – Principles of Personal Vision It all starts with our self awareness that enables us to stand tall in the crowd and examine the way we ‘see’ ourselves. It leads us to see beyond, listen beyond and act beyond in any environment. It makes us understand that we are responsible for our lives. It denotes the most basic habits of a successful people, the habit of proactivity. How will you develop this self awareness? One excellent way to become more proactive is to look at where we focus our time and energy. We each have a wide range of concerns – our health, our career, our children, our social condition etc… We could separate those from things in which we have no particular or mental or emotional involvement by creating a circle of concern. As we start to focus our attention at those things within our circle of concern, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control and others that we own do something about. And as soon as we begin working on the things, to do something about, the nature of our energy will flow in more positive way, enlarging, magnifying, causing our circle of influence to increase. Being proactive means you should take care to pull all your efforts in the circle of influence. You should nurture your energy towards fulfilling your own ability. Your proactive approach that teaches you to see things in new light helps you to break the shackle of all your problems within the circle of influence.

BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND – Principles of Personal Leadership Being a rational and disciplined being we plan everything before hand. Because it gives us the edge to fulfill objectives according to our own pace and purpose. It gives us a sense of relaxed feelings when we can take the initiative and plan the infrastructure for establishing our movements in right direction. We are able to establish contact with our inner guidance system at the heart of our circle of Influence. And thus starts the habit – “To begin with the end in Mind.” Simply put it is to being today with the image, picture or paradigm of the end of our life as our frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. To begin with the end in mind is to start with a clear understanding of our destination. It gives us the knowledge where we are going so that we better understand where we are now and so that the steps we take are always in tune with right perspective. This habit is revolved around the principle of personal leadership, which means that leadership is the first creation and it is very much important to lead our own notion and actions ahead. This habit demands an approach to our principle roles in the family or in the business as well as other roles in life, with our own values and directions to be clear. So that the paradigms from which our thinking and attitude flow are congruent with our deepest values and in harmony with correct principles.

PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST – Principles of Personal Management Whatever endeavor we take, first flashes in our mind frame. We see the possibility of its potential in the light of our own conscience. It is called mental creation, which we cautiously integrate in our brain. It also reflects our own uniqueness and the personal, moral and ethical guidelines that persuade us to fulfill our desires most happily. Then there is the second creation, the physical creation. It is the actualization, the natural emergence of our other habits. It is the exercise of independent will towards becoming principle centered. We are in a habit to put first things first by practicing effective self management. Self management that is the breaking down, the time-bound left brain aspect of effective self-government. How can we attain this power of self management? It is not so difficult to attain this power. Switch on the wheel of your self awareness system that will lead you to the imagination window and in the process you will ignite your conscience. Finally it will energize your independent will and make effective self management possible. The human will is an amazing thing. Time after time, it has triumphed against unbelievable odds. So be enthusiastic, give your will a trust.

HAVE A PLAN – Principles of Systematic Endeavor Most of us don’t practice concrete planning methodologies for our works, and that is why we fail. To write success in our life or business, we must follow a definite course of actions – long terms or short terms. Long term plans can be easy to narrate, they are sensible and workable. For example, if we intend having a career, it is wise to work out a long term game plan for our respective industry or profession. And only then it is possible for us to foresee the progression, needed to make it to the position we aspire to hold. Work out what it takes to experience, handling responsibility, learning new skills, acquiring people management, understanding that sort of things. Work out how we can materialize each step, it doesn’t take much to work out what we need to acquire is how. Finally, we have to have an end game – the final goal. But it should be realistic and in tune with our capabilities, no more, no less. On the other hand, Short term plan vary accordingly to our time span and urgency. For example we have short term plans of this month, this year, five years etc… Our one month short term plan includes our current work projects, our one year plan schedules, projects which are being formulated, our five year plans lists, our dreams, ideas, wishes, goals etc… All these plans should be devised in the light of our own practical cognition, so that we can proceed to out this into action and make them happen.

SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD - Principles of Empathic Communication Communications is one of the most important skills in life. We spend most of our working hours communicating. If we want to interact effectively with others, to influence others, we first need to understand them. “Seek first to understand, we listen with the intent to reply. When a person speaks, we are usually “listening” at one of the four levels. We may ignore the person, not really listening at all or we may practice pretending or we may practice selective listening or we may practice alternative listening. But very few of us practice the highest form of listening, ‘empathic listening.’ According to communication experts in empathic listening, we listen with our eyes and with our heart. We listen for feeling, for meaning. This habit is powerful because it exists right in the middle of our circle of influence. Many factors in interdependent situations are in our Circle of Concern – Problems, Disagreements, Circumstances, other people’s behavior. And if we focus our energies out there, we deplete with little positive results. We can always seek first to understand. That’s something within our control. And as we do that, we focus on our circle of influence; really, deeply understand other people. We get to the heart of matters. We talk with each other quickly. We give people the psychological air they need so we can work together effectively.

MAINTAIN GOOD MANNERS – Principle of Courteous Behavior Good Manners makes one Perfect. It makes them adorable to friends, colleagues, relatives-wherever one goes. And if we don’t know what good manners are all about, then we face trouble. Interestingly, most of us believe we have good manners already. However in reality, the more we hurry, the more we are stressed, the more manners are likely to slip. If we are honest, we express gratitude for something when frazzled by life or feeling a huge temptation, to push in front of somebody doddering when rushing to catch a train. We should remember our own rules, however rushed and fraught we feel. We should always make the effort to show these good manners.

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Queuing without jostling.

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Complementing people when we need to.

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Not sticking our nose in where we are not wanted.

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Keeping a promise.

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Not shouting at people who get in our way.

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Apologizing when we get in someone else’s

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Being Civil

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Opening the door ahead of people.

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Answering when spoken to

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Being hospitable

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Being courteous and charming.

No matter how small interactions with people we have each day, don’t let the manners slip. They cost nothing and yet can generate so much good will and make everyone’s life more pleasant.

BE CHEERFUL AND POSITIVE – Principles of Optimistic Paradigms Life is full of Ups and Downs. Some moments are there that bring sunshine, other battle the rain. But whatever life’s moments have in store for us, we can redefine them according to our own paradigms that teach us to be optimistic in every situation. Because we know for sure, nothing is more powerful than our will, our hope and our positive attitude. Because we know the Sun will come back. Because we know things will always get better. Be cheerful at all times. At first you don’t have to believe it-just do it. Pretend, but do it. After a little while you will find it is not an act, you are not pretending, you genuinely do feel cheerful. Putting on a smile triggers hormones. These hormones will make you feel better. Once you feel better you will smile more and thus produce more hormones. All it takes is to Smile for few days, even though you don’t feel like it and you will start a cycle going that will make you feel better all the time. And it is known fact that everyone like a cheerful person who is relaxed, confident, mature and dictate the positive vibes. People will want to hang out with that person more-there is nothing as attractive as a cheerful person.

NEVER LIE – Principles of Truthfulness Tell what you believe, what you are aware of. Tell what you know, no more, no less. It sets you into a mode when you don’t have to think twice. NEVER LIE. Under no circumstances do you lie. Once you have got a reputation as someone who never lies then you won’t be asked to cover up, or cover for anyone else ever. If you do decide to lie for a living you have too many choices and decisions. Where do you draw the line? Do you only tell little lies? Or Great Big Ones? Do you lie to save yourself? Or for Others? How developed your lies be? Do you see some problems? If you have a simple rule – Never Lie – You have a default setting that requires no thought, no choices, no decisions, no alternatives, no picking, no jeopardy and no sleeping nights. Never Lie is really the simplest, cleanest, most honest approach to our working life and career. It stems from our habit of truthfulness. When we know we are allowed to talk according to our own knowledge and comprehension. When we know we are allowed to take actions according to our own experience. And what better way to live a dignified life that advocates peace and semblance? Always go by your principle of truthfulness. Always invite straight and simple way of living. Experience Life in the Light of Truth.

THINK WIN-WIN – Principles of Interpersonal Leadership We often talk about Win-Win Situation or practices. But what it actually denotes to us? In broader perspective, it is a total philosophy of human interaction. It narrates about a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefits in all human interactions. With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win-Win sees life as a co-operative arena, not a competitive one. One alternative to Win-Win is Win-Lose, the authoritarian approach. Most of us are deeply influenced by this Win-Lose scripting. Some of us are programmed the other way – Lose-Win. Lose-Win is worse than Win-Lose because it has no standards, no demands, no expectations, no vision. People who think Lose-Win usually work, they actually work to please others or for an applause. Then there is another version of that provokes a condition of Lose-Lose. When two Win/Lose people get together that is when two ego invested individuals interact-the result will be Lose-Lose. Both will lose. Another common alternative is simply to think Win. People with Win mentality don’t necessarily want someone else to lose. So when there is no sense of competition, Win is probably the most common approach. Of these five philosophies…Win-Win, Win-Lose, Lose-Win, Lose-Lose and Win – which one you think is the most effective. The answer is – it depends. And it depends on reality. The challenge lies in to read the reality accurately and not to translate Win/Lose or other scripting into every situation.

SYNERGIZE – Principles of Creative Co-operation Simply defined, Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It catalyzes, unifies and unleashes the greatest powers within people. All the habits or principles we are discussing prepare us to create the miracle of synergy. Synergy stems from the creative process we pursue and it is also the most terrifying part because we don’t know exactly what’s going to lead. We don’t know what new challenges we will find. It takes an enormous amount of internal security to begin with the spirit of adventure, the spirit of discovery, the spirit of creativity. The challenge to follow this principle is to apply the principles of creative co-operation, which we often learn from nature, in our social interactions. Our family life is an excellent platform to observe and practice this mode of Endeavour. The very way a man and a woman bring a child into the world is synergistic. As in life synergy is of much importance in the work dome of business. When we incorporate this approach in our business the outcome is sheer excellence. It helps us to release an incredible enthusiasm. And once we have experienced real synergy, we are never quite the same again. We know the possibility of having other such mind-expanding adventure in the future. We simply open our mind to the new happenings.

SHARPEN THE SAW – Principles of Balanced Self Renewal According to philosopher Herb Shepherd our healthy balanced life revolves around four values: Perspective (Spiritual), Autonomy (Mental), Connectivity (Social) and Tone (Physical). Sound motivation and Organization theory embrace this four dimensions or motivations – the economic (physical), how people are treated (social), how people are developed and used (mental), and the service, the job, the contribution, the organization gives (spiritual). “Sharpen the saw” basically means expressing all four motivations. Exercising all these four dimensions of our nature regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways. To do this we must be proactive. Most importantly, as it lies at the corner of influence, no one else can do it for us. We must do it for ourselves. The physical dimension involves caring effectively for our physical body. The spiritual dimension provides leadership qualities to our formal education and grooming patterns. The social/emotional dimension centered on the principles of interpersonal leadership, emphatic communication and creative co-operation. All these dimensions enhance our greatest asset we have – OURSELVE. The habit talk about taking time to sharpen all these attributes for an enlightening living, joyous in every aspect.