Who Am I - English

Tarana, 28th December 2004 on the eve of the 125th birth anniversary of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi

The Art of Self Enquiry Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

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THE ART OF SELF-ENQUIRY

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Dr. P.V.S. Suryanarayana Raju Syamala Children Hospital D.No. 5-8-16, Park Street Narsapur - 534 275, W.G.Dt. A.P. India Tel : 08814 - 273430, 274104 e-mail : [email protected]. Fax : 08814-222438

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DR. P.V.S. SURYANARAYANA RAJU

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The author is grateful to the President, Ramanasramam for allowing him to publish this book on his own. 2

The meaning of the poem is as follows :

In the middle of Heart cave there is only the Brahman. There the consciousness is pulsating as "Iam", "Iam" One can enter the heart cave and abide there either by delving deep into the heart by self enquiry or by stilling the vital airs (Prana).

Nartana Ganapathi

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FOREWORD One should be alive to living. Then living itself is experiencing. An experiencing mind is alive at the time of experiencing. Each moment of one's living enjoys the nature of living. Then living itself is joy. It is significant because it is the enjoying. One is then alive to joy - the joy of living, the joy of experiencing. It may be the experiencing of anger, greed or envy. It may be the experiencing of love. It is joy. The experiencing of anger is joy because at that state of mind, one is anger. Then anger is joy. Experiencing anything is joy when it is the conscious experiencing i.e. when it is at the level of consciousness, when it is so deep, so intense. It is not the joy of this world. It is not the joy of the mind. It is identified with the living joy of pure consciousness.

imity to the pure consciouness. They have only a kind of relative awareness (Bheda Bhranti) because all their movements are relative to the objective world. Their movements and their limited awareness (Kinchijnatvam) are superimposed on the reflected consciousness, as a result of which this phenomenal world appears to exist with all its dualities. One who has a direct perception of all this is free from all bonds. He sees the joy of life. He is the seer. (see-er, drashta).

Sri S.V.A.R. Sastry Retd. Asst. Principal Sri Y.N.M. College, Narsapur

Enquiring into what is that living, what is that experiencing and what is that anger is not in any way analysis, not in any way rejection. Analysis or rejection is done with the mind and the mind is thought. When the mind itself is negated who will analyse? Who will reject? Enquiring is mere observing - observing the unreal, observing the jada, the illusory creation of the mind, the thought or the mind itself. By mere observing the unreal, it evaporates, dwindles into nothingness. Then the real and pure consciousness dawns on the mind's reflecting medium with the light of ten thousand suns. Then the experiencing of living is joy. This observing process, this natural process of awareness or this observant enquiry goes on in the pure mind incessantly with a kind of dogged devotion towards pure consciousness. Then the path of devotion and the path of enquiry merge. Pure consciousness is "I amness". It is conscious of itself. It doesn't require any other entity to prove its existence as consciousness. Body, mind, intellect, memory and sense organs are all by nature insentient, jada. They have existence only in the phenomenal world. They appear to live and shine by their prox5

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ARUNACHALAM-RAMANAMAHARSHI If we comprehensively encounter one experience, there is flowering of the art of self-enquiry.

AUTHOR's NOTE All is pure consciousness. But due to the action of primal ignorance, (Moola Avidya) we forgot our union with the pure conscious being (Atma Vismruti) and we identify ourselves with the body, resulting in an artificial psychological centre called the "ego" and when we act from that centre, it causes both physical and mental problems for us. The contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea" is a separative factor, and it is only illusory. With the grace of Bhagawan Sri Ramana Maharshi, when we start true enquiry, we will come to know that the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea".is just a verbal concept. Through a kind of true enquiry into the identification with the body when it is found that the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea" is just a concept and has no locus standi, the false "I" takes to its feet. This is called annihilation of mind or manonasa. Bhagwan Sri Ramana Maharshi, not only elaborately dealt with the true enquiry for 54 years i.e. from 1896-1950, but through him so many people are realised, many tasted bliss of his pure conscious being, paving the way for true enquiry. For those, whose quest for truth is sincere, the presence of Bhagawan Sri Raman Maharshi is like Kalpataru (Wish-fulfilling tree). So the realisation of self-knowledge by doing true enquiry as taught by Bhagawan is the aim of our precious life. - The author.

Arunachala mountain is the gross form of the steady light of the pure conscious being of Siva. It is the heart of the earth. It appears as a hill with heaps of stones to those with a mind contaminated by self-ignorance, but it appears as a column of light to those with a subtle mind with uncontaminated consciousness. This is the form of Siva. This is no mere theory. It is an actuality experienced by Jnanasambandar, Manikyavachakar and Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. The town where Arunachala is, is known as Tiruvannamalai, about 180 km south of Chennai. This town is like a Srichakra with nine nodal points. At this place, Siva is in the form of a hill, a linga and a siddha. On the northern tip of the hill, under a tree sits Siva as a siddha. The linga here is an agnilinga. Agni is the symbol of jnana. Those who wish to be liberated through jnana (Self-Knowledge) are drawn to this piligrim centre. Piligrims undertake a circumambulation of the hill. Those who come here are amply rewarded; non-believers become believers, believers become devotees, devotees become sages, said Sri Bhagavan. Deep within the hill is a separate world where there are siddhas doing tapas. There are rivers and streams, tanks, gardens and pathways said Sri Bhagavan who saw them. There are medicinal herbs on the hill and the breeze wafting across them cures people of several ailments. The circumambulation of the hill preserves mental health. The Skandapuranam extols the uniqueness of the hill. Skanda, Subrahmanya, Sanatkumara, Jnana Sambandar and Sri Ramana Maharshi are one and the same. At the behest of Siva, Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi assumed a human form and was born in the early of hours of 30th December, 1879 at Tiruchuzhi, a place near Madurai, under the asterism of Punarvasu, to the pious couple Sundaram Iyer and Azhagammal. Sundaram Iyer passed away when the boy Ramana

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was twelve. Then itself Ramana pondered over the nature of death. In 1896 on Thursday 16th July Ramana had an unaccounted form of the fear of death. Then his body's age was only 16 years, 6 months, 16 days. He was then staying with his uncle in a house in Chokkappa Naicker Street, Madurai. On the onset of the fear of death, he investigated into it with an undisturbed mind. He thought thus "This body is dead, it will be taken to the cremation ground". His body was actually dead, respiration and heartbeat stopped. Even then he was able to feel the consciousness within. He had direct experience that he is the pure conscious being; later after twenty minutes, consciousness again entered the body and the body started moving. Such a thing has not happened in any saint's life before. Ever since then Sri Bhagavan abided in that consciousness only, a state known as Sahaja Samadhi. At the instance of Siva he reached Tiruvannamalai on 1st Sept. 1896 and taught Atma vidya (self-knowledge) to any one who cared for it. Several animals, like dogs, monkeys, peacocks, serpents, squirrels and cattle lived in close proximity to Sri Bhagavan. In Sri Bhagavan's holy presence his mother Azhagammal and the cow Lakshmi attained liberation apart from some others. Places at Tiruvannamalai where Sri Bhagavan resided 1896

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Arunachaleswara Temple, Patala Linga and Temple towers.

1897

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Gurumurtham, Mango grove

1898 to 1899

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Pavalakunru, caves of the hill, Pachaiamman Kovil

1899 to 1916

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Virupaksha Cave

1916 to 1922

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Skandasramam

1922 to 1950

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Ramanasramam

On 14 April 1950 at 8-47 p.m. Sri Bhagavan shed his mortal frame and a blue meteor-like light passed over and merged in Arunachala hill.

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SELF - ENQUIRY THE ULTIMATE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE In Self - realisation pure consciousness remains, limitations become extinct What actually exists is the infinite, indivisible, unitary, impressionless, blissful, pure consciousness (Suddha Chaitanyam, Paramatma). Because it is only in the form of unitary oneness, there is no other entity to know it. If that unitary oneness wants to know itself, it uses a force that is inherent in its infinite self. That force is called the first urge or whim to know itself. The first urge is latent in the infinite self. Though the first urge is also infinite, the first urge happens only to the minutest point in pure consciousness. This minutest point of pure consciousness is called "Om Point" or "Sristi Point". This minutest point is never separate from the infinite pure consciousness, even when it is associated with nothingness (maya) and has apparent separateness from pure consciousness. So the minutest point is also infinite. Because of the action of the Moola Avidya (a force which confers self-forgetfulness to a point of the infinite ocean of pure consciousness), a drop in the infinite ocean of pure consciousness, became unconscious of its own self. At that stage, the drop was devoid of any sanskaras. Because it was devoid of any sanskaras (tendencies), it is not associated with any bodies like gross, subtle, or causal. Because it was not associated with the bodies naturally it had no experience of gross, subtle, or mental worlds. It had neither the experience of its own self nor that of Paramatma (Ultimate reality). This infinite, impressionless unconscious tranquil state of the soul (drop) reverberated with an impulse which we call the first urge (whim) to know itself. The first urge was latent in Paramatma (ultimate reality). The manifestation of the first urge of the Infinite was restricted to this most finite unconscious drop whose self-consciousness was veiled by Moola Avidya (Primal Ignorance). Through this most finite drop of the manifestation of the first urge, the 10

shadow of Infinite (Maya) oozed and went on expanding. The most finite drop in which the latent first urge manifested is called the "Om Point" or "Sristi Point".

body-idea".

So in the beginning, because of the effect of Moola Avidya, the drop exist, but it was unconscious of its oneness with Paramatma (Ultimate reality). Later, because of the effect of the first urge, it did get consciousness, but it was conscious of the first impression only. At that stage the drop knew that it existed, but it was not aware of its oneness with the ultimate reality. This is self-forgetfulness (Ajnana, Avidya). Once the drop was conscious of impressions (tendencies) it must necessarily experience these impressions and to experience these impressions, proper bodies (media) were required. This is the genesis of "I-am-the-

Because of self-forgetfulness due to "Moola Avidya", we forgot our pure pristine state of the pure conscious being which is by nature infinite, indivisible, blissful, devoid of tendencies and is conscious of its existence without the aid of any attributes like the mind, intellect, senses etc. This is the so-called original sin or fall. Because of the defect of self-forgetfulness, we are ignorant of the nature of the self i.e. We are all self-ignorant people. In religious jargon it is called Avidya or Ajnana. Self-ignorance (Avidya, Ajnana) is not an existential state. It is a state of the absence of self-knowledge. Just as the absence of light is called darkness and darkness is not an existential state, so also the selfignorance is a nonexistential state of lack of self-knowledge. In self-ignorance we have the common knowledge that we exist. Even a child is aware that he exists. But all of us lack the essential knowledge of our oneness with the ultimate reality (Paramatman). When one is aware that he exists (common knowledge) but unaware of his oneness with the ultimate reality (essential knowledge), such a being is said to be in a state of self-ignorance. Because of the defect of superimposition (Adhyasa), the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea" (jiva) superimposes the work done by the mind and body on itself, and thinks that "doership and enjoyership" are the essential knowledge. This is illusion. This is the outcome of self-ignorance. Because of the contaminated "Iam-the-body-idea" there is a feeling of separateness, and the individual soul (contaminated I-am-the-body-idea) identifies with the body and feels that the world is apart and contrary from it. In self-ignorance we are unaware of our identity with the ultimate reality (Parabrahman). This individual soul (jiva) starts searching for pleasure, with a separative feeling. Because of this there is continuous attraction towards the "not-I", and because of this continuous attraction to the "not-I", the mind appears as an existential entity. If there are no attractions towards the "not-I" there is no entity called the mind. So the mind appears to exist when it is attracted towards the material things of the world or the inner things like dogmas, beliefs, emotions etc. When the individual

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Simultaneously with the reverberations of the first urge, the most gross first impression emerged, objectifying the soul as the most absolute opposite and the most finite gross counterpart of the infinite. Because of this first impression of the first urge, the drop had experienced for the first time. This first experience of the drop was that it experienced a contrariety in its identity with its infinite, impressionless, unconscious state. This experience of contrariety effected changeableness by a disrupting poise in an unconscious tranquility of the drop with a recoil or tremendous shock which impregnated the unconsciousness of the unconscious drop with the first consciousness of its apparent separateness from the indivisible state of Paramatma (Ultimate Reality). But the drop is never separate from the ultimate reality. The ultimate reality being infinite, the first consciousness that was derived from the recoil or shock was absolutely opposite and the most gross first impression of its apparent separateness was naturally the "finite" first consciousness. So the drop which was unconscious because of the effect of Moola Avidya ( power which confers self-forgetfulness) did get consciousness, but this consciousness was not of the eternal infinite self, but was of the most finite consciousness of the first impression.

soul is able to fulfil his desire, when things happen in its favour, the mind is temporarily withdrawn into the causal body (Anandamaya kosa) and enjoys the happiness of the thoughtless state, that is inherent to the causal body. This is the happiness derived out of enjoying of sense objects. This is called pleasure as against pain. The mind wants recurrence of this happiness and pursues pleasure and in this process there is attraction towards internal things like feeling, emotion, beliefs, thought etc. and external things in the world in multifarious forms. Because of this continuous attraction towards either internal things or external things or both, the mind appears as an existential entity. There are always hurdles in daily life when we live a way of life which is based on separative feeling. When we live a way of life based on separative feeling we acquire six fundamental defects. They are 1) desire, 2) anger, 3) attachment, 4) possessiveness of what we have acquired 5) arrogance 6) jealousy. Actually these are not separate in real terms because they are interrelated. They are like layers of the same cloth of ignorance, which veils our oneness with the ultimate reality (Paramatma). The six fundamental defects are protective factors to the concept of the existence of individual soul with separative feeling. This results in the selfisolation process with its disastrous consequences. At present we are reaping the consequences of the self-isolation process because we are eating the "Apple" of the tree of phenomenal knowledge through attraction towards the "not-I". We always want pleasure without pain. Pleasure is a result of attraction towards internal or external things which are favourable to the individual soul. Then the mind is withdrawn to the causal body and enjoys the happiness of thought-free state transiently. When the association with internal or external things is unfavourable to the individual soul it is called pain. Because the attraction is transient, pleasure and pain are transient.

Ramana Maharshi dealt in detail with "The Art of self-enquiry" and taught self knowledge for fifty four years i.e. from 18961950. Devotion and selfless service prepare our mind to do selfenquiry. At present we are unconscious of the unity with the ultimate reality. To bring that unity to the conscious level, selfenquiry is the way. This is possible only by the grace of the "Guru" (Master). Our own effort through intellect takes us nowhere.

For a realised soul, oneness with the ultimate reality is quite obvious to him. This is the main difference between the common man and a realised soul. To realise oneness with the ultimate reality "self-enquiry" is the best way. Bhagawan Sri

The goal of creation is to bring the unconscious unity with the ultimate reality to the conscious level. As part of this scheme of things, "I-am-the-body-idea" is created, which confers the body consciousness, through which we perceive the world. To fulfil what is present in tendency, association with the body is a must. Here a word about formation and consequences of tendencies (Vasanas). Our natural state (Sahaja Sthithi) is infinite, indivisible, peaceful, without any tendencies, so without any conflict. This state, all of us are enjoying in deep sleep (Sushupti). In this state, there is an urge to know itself, this urge is inherent to our natural state. This first urge happens to a minutest point of the infinite, indivisible blissful ocean of pure consciousness. To help the first urge to manifest, nothingness (maya) which is inherent in pure consciousness oozes through this minute point, this minutest point resides in every creature in the spiritual heart. In Narayana sukta it is pointed out that this minutest point is of the size of a particle sized unit on the top of a rice grain, and resides in the spiritual heart. It is the living pulsation of consciousness of "I am, I am" (Aham, Aham). "I am" is the minutest point of pure consciousness. "Amness", in which even the "I" is not there, is the ocean of pure consciousness (Paratpara Parabrahmam). Some call this minutest point as the "Om Point" or "Sristi Point". Because of the first urge to know itself, a state oppossite to the natural state of the pure consciousness happens. The state opposite to pure consciousness (natural state) seems to exist because of the first urge (whim, vilasa) to know itself. This opposite state is finite, with tendency. The first experience of consciousness is the experiencing of an opposite state (contrariety)

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to the natural state (sahaja sthithi). This creates a shock in the limited consciousness of the sristi point. When this opposite state, whose nature is "limited consciousness" (Jiva, Kinchijnatvam)wants to know the source of it, evolution of consciousness happens with the oozing of nothingness (maya) in the minutest point of the natural state. Nothingness (maya) is the shadow of the infinite ultimate reality; so nothingness is also infinite. The limited consciousness instead of being aware of its own nature, attaches itself to a body to experience the tendencies and in turn accumulates more tendencies. First the limited consciousness identifies itself to the very fine air, and after associating with many types of it (majority of them are unknown even to the scientists, they are fine subtle airs), the limited consciousness identifies with the stone with the aid of tendencies accumulated in air mediums; similarly the limited consciousness identifies itself with various types of stones; then with accumulated tendencies with stones, it identifies with the metal. In this way the limited consciousness later identifies with tree, worms, fish, birds, animals, and finally men. As nothingness oozes gradually into the minutest point of pure consciousness, there is the evolution of limited consciousness till the stage of man. Souls which have gross impressions have great binding. Souls having subtle impressions have little binding. Souls having mental impressions have very little binding. Souls which have no impressions at all, have absolutely no binding. But all these souls are always one with the ultimate reality. To realise this truth, self-enquiry is the way. The cause of this difference in souls is that souls have different and diverse tendencies (vasanas, impressions). Then the limited consciousness is aware that it is enmeshed in the tendencies and tries for release from tendencies. From the stage of Man starts the process of involution of consciousness in which there is the spending up of tendencies (Vasanas, Sanskaras) rather than accumulation of tendencies. To aid this process, there is the process of reincarnation. Reincarnation is the spontaneous result of an initial urge to know itself (Whim). The process of identity with the gross body and release from it and again identity with some 15

new gross body is called reincarnation. Even during the attempt to spend tendencies in the reincarnation process, the limited consciousness experiences opposite experiences and gets enmeshed in the net of tendencies. Only a person who is out of this net of tendencies, can guide through his "grace" to come out of this prison of tendencies. Such a person is called "sadguru". During that period there is rapid involution of consciousness and gradually the limited consciousness becomes aware of its unity with the ultimate consciousness. During the process of involution of consciousness, the limited consciousness first sets itself free from the gross body and the gross world. Later this consciousness frees from the subtle body and the subtle world and finally frees from the causal body and the subtle mental world. After that, the limited consciousness is aware of its union with the ultimate reality. This is Yoga, Parabhakti, real knowledge (Jnana). To posit in this state is the goal of self-enquiry. Because of our association with the bodies we accumulate natural tendencies like sex, hunger, death fear etc. Because we relate with others, various tendencies are formed, during our interaction with the others. All these tendencies, veil our unity with the ultimate reality. Only when we are passively aware of the transient nature of the tendencies which we have accumulated right from the stage of atom to man, is there a possibility to be aware of our unity with the ultimate reality. The tendencies make the mind extrovert, resulting in self-forgetfulness. When by the "grace" of "Guru", the mind becomes introvert and when its attention is diverted towards the consciousness rather than the tendencies, there is no extroversion of the mind and there is no bondage in the form of tendencies. To realise identity with the ultimate reality consciously, by getting rid of the cosmic illusion consciously is the aim of all spiritual disciplines. "I-am-the-bodyIdea" confers body consciousness only. It acts as a magnifying lens, and shows clearly the things of the world so that we can work in the phenomenal world. "I-am-the-body-Idea" per se is

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not a hurdle to the spiritual progress. There is no need to condemn it. If it is not contaminated by the tendencies, it helps us in spiritual understanding. The main hurdle in the spiritual path is the tendencies. They create a feeling of orgasmic unity with the body and creates an artificial limitation of our consciousness resulting in the lack of the awareness of oneness with the ultimate reality. Consciousness of the body is one aspect of "I-am-thebody-idea". Identity with the body is another aspect and it is the result of the tendencies. Both are different. Body consciousness, that is, to be aware of the body is onething, identity with the body is another thing. It is the identity with the body that separates one being from another being, not the consciousness of the body which is the result of "I-am-the-body-idea". Identity with the body due to tendencies results in the concept of limited existence with limited consciousness. This is called identity with the body (Dehatma Buddhi). When one is under the influence of tendencies, "I-amthe-body-idea" which confers body-consciousness to the limited consciousness, gets contaminated; then it is called contaminated "I". When "I-am-the-body-idea" is not under the influence of tendencies, it is called pure "I" or pure spark of the ego. Pure ego is the self. Pure "I" ("Pure ego") is revealed between two states of the mind or between the gap of two thoughts. If we are aware during these states we can hold the pure "I" (pure ego). For example, when we rise from sleep, when the influence of tendencies is yet to occur, the pure "I" (pure ego) is there for quite some time. If we can hold this state, then even if we work in the phenomenal world, there will be no attraction towards anything in the phenomenal world because the state of pure "I" (pure ego) is so blissful that we are not bothered about the pleasures of the phenomenal world. We can find the source of "I-am-thebody-idea" when we hold on to this state. So actually pure "I" (pure ego) is an aid in finding our natural state of the pure conscious being (sahaja sthithi). If our attention is centred on tendencies, oneness with the ultimate reality is not revealed.

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Unless we are aware of the working of our mind-mechanism and unless we are aware of our tendencies which show themselves in the mirror of relationship with others, to think that oneness with the ultimate reality is revealed to us by some trick is a great illusion. The mind acts according to the mould (Conditioning) created by the tendencies. So such a mind is never free. But for selfenquiry, a free mind, that is an unconditioned mind, which is free of beliefs, dogmas etc. is required. When we attend to our mind wholeheartedly it becomes still. The still mind is free of thought, and it is in a state of innocence with passive awareness. The still mind is free mind. Only a free mind has the capacity to do "selfenquiry". To be aware of the workings and ways of functioning of the mind mechanism is "Self-Enquiry". This awareness brings about tremendous spiritual discipline, which transforms the mind. Then there is transmutation of the mind. Then we have comprehensive understanding of the tendencies, and ways of working of the mind. In this way the seeker of truth is gradually freed from the tendencies. Then first he encounters the awareness of nothingness. Then all his attention is centred on pure nothingness (maya). This stage is called "nirvana" (anatta) in religious jargon. "Atta" means association of reflected consciousness with tendencies.i.e., the ego. "Anatta" means the absence of ego with the awareness of the infinite pure nothingness (NIRVANA). "Aham Brahmasmi" is "I-am-the-god-state" ("I am that I am"). Pure "amness" is Paratpara Parabrahmam. One has to pass through this stage of the awareness of nothingness (Nirvana) before one is aware of his unity with the ultimate reality (Aham Brahmasmi). When the minutest point realises that he is one with the ultimate reality, the illusory feeling of separateness is annihilated forever (manonasa) and he is free from the tendencies forever. In this state there is a flood of pure consciousness and bliss and there is no relic of the ego in that state. Then the mind becomes creative moment to moment and it enjoys the bliss of the infinite, indivisible, pure conscious being. In this state, the mind is completely healthy and functions in the phenomenal world in a sane way. By 18

the "Grace" of Bhagawan Sri Ramana Maharshi truth seekers shall find this unity of oneness with the ultimate reality through selfenquiry.

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TRUTH - NOTHINGNESS (BEING) - (NONBEING)

Know what the life is before death. If you have an experience of the life before death, death will disappear in that very experience. Truth is the eternal reality which exists at all times and in all circumstances. Truth is unitary, indivisible. That which is present at one time and absent at another time is not truth, that which is divisible is not truth, that which is born is bound to die. Such entities are time-bound, so transient. Truth is never born, so the question of death does not arise. Truth is beyond the dimension of spacio-time. Because truth is unitary, it is infinite; so immeasurable. Because truth is infinite, there is no possibility of a separate existence for an individual self, which depends on the thesis that we are separate from the truth. So we must enquire into this vital issue, whether we are one with the infinite truth or we have a separate, personal existence as the individual soul. Truth is conscious of its existence, i.e. it does not require another agency or entity to prove its existence. It is self effulgent, self revealing conscious existence. There is no trace of "I" thought (Ego) in the truth. Nothingness (Maya) is like the shadow of the infinite reality, so nothingness is also infinite. Because it is without the stamp of self - knowledge it is not the ultimate truth. The nothingness (Maya) and truth are unfathomable and ununderstandable. Nothingness is not illusion, it is the creator of illusion. Nothingness (Maya) is not false, it is an agent which confers the false impressions. Nothingness (Maya) is not unreal, It makes the real appear as the unreal, and the unreal appear as the real. Nothingness (Maya) is not duality, it is the entity which causes duality. The enigma of nothingness (Maya) can be solved only after self-realisation, when it is known that nothingness (Maya) does not exist in reality. Nothingness (Maya) is the real infinite creator of unreal, finite things. Illusory things are imaginations of nothingness. When the ultimate truth associates with

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Nothingness (Maya) that state is called Eswarahood. The whole creation is only his imagination. Time and space are in Nothingness (Maya), so Nothingness (Maya) is beyond time and space. Creation springs out of nothingness (Maya) when this nothingness is taken against the background of the one reality. Creation is the imagination born out of nothingness in the background of the ultimate reality. Any imagination is limited and unreal so the creation is also limited and unreal. Its apparent realistic existence is due to the ultimate reality which is as it were behind nothingness. The complementary aspect of being is nonbeing or nothingness. When nothingness is added to the one reality the result is the manifold evolving universe. The nothingness is like zero, with no positive value, but when it is added to another number, it gives rise to many. The whole evolutionary process is within the domain of imagination. The Consciousness cannot remain content with the identification with the imagined part of a really indivisible totality. This compels the consciousness to go beyond imagination. cessation of the imagination is awakening into the truth-consciousness. Nothingness (Maya) is neither true nor untrue. Because we are seeing the objective world in its multiplicity, we cannot say it is untrue. Because it is not revealed in the light of pure consciousness, which is evident in the "samadhi" state, we cannot say it is true. So nothingness (Maya) cannot be categorised. It is a wondrous power that is present inherently in the Brahman. It is ignorance (self-forgetfulness) without a beginning. Nothingness is associated with three qualities, that is composure (Sattwa), dynamism (Rajas), inertia (Tamas). Nothingness (Maya) is neither divisible nor indivisible, nor is it a combination of both. It is a wonderful power that cannot be expressed in words. Nothingness (Maya) is called nonself or anatma, nonself is not separate from the self. When we drop from the state of pure consciousness we identify ourselves with nonself. A spark from Brahman associates it self with nonself, develops as individual soul (Jiva) and identifies it self with the insentient body. In our present 21

state of understanding we think we are only the body (Dehatma Buddhi). Because we are limiting ourselves to nonself, we are compelled to term the body and any other nonself as anatma. Otherwise there is no need to name nonself as anatma, because nonself is also part of the self. It is neither associated or dissociated. Nothingness (Maya) is the causal body of truth. When the light of Brahman is reflected only in sattwaguna (composure state of nothingness) self-knowledge is not interfered with (Suddha Sattwa). When this reflected light is in the grip of the agitated state of nothingness (Rajas) and the inert state of nothingness (Tamas) self-knowledge is lost and this state is called self-ignorance or Avidya. So self-ignorance prevails only in malina sattwa (Prati Bhasika Satta) i.e. reflected consciousness imprisoned in nothingness (Maya) with the predominance of Rajas (agitation) and Tamas (Inertness), but not in the pure sattwic state (composure) of nothingness (Maya). We are under the illusion that water is present in the mirage, but when we go near and closely look at it, the water in the mirage is not there, nor is there any presence of the mirage. Even though we have a definite understanding that there is no reality to either to the mirage, or to the water in it, still the mirage appears to our physical eyes, but we do not seek water from it. Just like that we are looking for happiness in nonself which is nothingness, but in that process it is everybody's experience that we are accumulating misery. Even though we have the understanding that association with nonself leads to misery, still we see the objective world. When we directly experience life, the phenomenal world does not exist. This is the relation we have with nothingness (Maya). When one is mature enough to come to an understanding that there is no lasting happiness in nonself, the search for the eternal truth begins which is true enquiry, true religiosity.

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TYPES OF ILLUSIONS CREATED BY MAYA (NOTHINGNESS) With Self-Enquiry we are blessed with the capacity to see the essential, which is eternal Maya is the power of Brahman which has the capacity to show the real entity as false, and the false entity as real. It makes us feel the insentient as sentient, and the sentient as insentient. It has the capacity to show that bliss is misery and vice versa. After doing all these it has the capacity to show the real as the real and the false as the false. The perceiving of the real as false and the false as real is illusion, and it is the work of Maya. When the light of Pure conscioness is reflected in Maya, Eswara (cosmic soul) appears to be there and Maya is in Pure composure state (Suddha Sattwa). When the light of Pure consciousness is reflected in Avidya (malina sattwa) which is Maya with predominance of Rajoguna (Dynamic character of Maya) and Tamoguna (Inert character of Maya), Jiva appears to be there. Because of effect of Maya five types of illusions appear to be there. All illusions are born out of the Nothingness and so they are essentially nothing.

vation through awareness without the interference of the thought. So the feeling of separativeness between the seer and the seen is nonexistential.

II. The illusion of doership and enjoyership (Kartrutva Bhoktrutva Bhranthi) When a Hibiscus flower is put behind a clear prism the prism looks red. When the flower is removed the prism appears without any colour. So the red colour is not the property of the prism. It is only a superimposition of the colour of the flower on the prism. The feeling that the prism per se is red is illusion. Similarly when the activity of the mind is superimposed on the reflected consciousness, the doership and enjoyership which are characters of the mind-mechanism (Antahkarana) are superimposed and attributed to the reflected consciosness. When the activity of the mind is not there in deep sleep, there is no doership or enjoyership in that state, there is only the witnessing of nescience in that state. So thinking that doership and enjoyership are characters of the reflected consciousness is only illusory.

III. The illusion born out of association (Sanga Bhranthi).

Because the reflected being is not separate from the original entity, the reflected being may also be termed true. The Characterestics of the reflected being, that he is separate from the original entity, the qualified characters of the so called separate being, and the knowledge born out of this state is all illusion. The sense of separateness arises because of the defect of interdependence of the seer and the seen ("Anyonyasraya Dosha"). So both of them appear and disappear together. That which is the ultimate reality must be unitary. Because the seer has a separative feeling with the seen, it is only apparently real, it is not an existential reality. This is quite evident when there is the obser-

There is space inside the vessel. The characters of creation and destruction of the vessel do not in anyway affect the space. Attributing the characters of the vessel on the space is illusory. Space is never touched by the characters of the vessel. Simlarly the reflected consciousness is associated with nonself. Though the reflected consciousness associates with the mind-mechanism (Antahkarana), the characters of the mindmechanism like doership and enjoyership, memorising, volition, doubting, attachment, fear, or misery cannot touch the reflected consciousness. Though the reflected consciousness associates with the vital airs (Prana), the functions of vital airs like hunger and thirst cannot touch the reflected consciousness. Though the reflected consciousness associates with the body, the characters of the body like birth, changing, growth, decay, transiency of existence and death cannot touch the reflected consciousness. This

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I. Illusion of Separativeness. (Bheda Bhranthi)

is the illusion born out of association with the body.

SPIRITUAL HEART (REAL "I")

IV. Illusion of Modification. (Vikara Bhranthi)

With Self-Enquiry, the conscious union of "Pure ego" with the "pure consciousness" happens

In twilight, the rope appears as snake. The veiling effect on the reality of the rope is not completly nullified. Then the ignorance of the reality of rope is modified, and there appears the illusion of snake existing in the place of rope. This is due to the modifying character on the part of the mind. Similary because of the defect of self-ignorance, Brahman the ultimate reality appears as the world to our physical eyes. Forgetting the original reality and seeing the reality as multiplicity is the process of evolution. That which is seen is real, but it is perceived in an altered state. This is due to the modifying character of the mind. The world is pure consciousness but is perceived as the world due to the action of the self-ignorance. Action of self-ignorance shows the ultimate reality in a modified form. The modifying agency shows the ultimate reality in an altered form. This action of Avidya (self - ignorance) is fabrication and it superimposes this fabrication on the ultimate reality. This superimposition is called Adhyasa.

V. The illusion that the ultimate reality is different from the world and thinking that the world in the present form is real. (Brahma Bhinna Jagat Satyatwa Bhranthi) Though gold and ornaments made out of gold are essentially the same, there is a separative feeling that the gold is the cause and the ornaments are the effects. If we closely observe, the ornaments are nothing but gold. Similarly there is a feeling that God is the cause and the world is the effect. This is illusory. This creates separative feeling. In Samadhi State (Union of the mind with pure consciousness) there is only pure consciousness. The phenomenal world does not exist. So the feeling that Godliness is separate from the world is illusory.

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Those, who are living with the "I-am-the-body-idea", are conscious of their bodies. Though their body consciouness pervades all over the body, the body consciousness is not their essential consciouness. For some reason one may be blind, or deaf or he may lose one or two limbs but still the awareness of "I am" (being) is always there. So there must be a centre of awareness in us. When the body conscious man says "I am", he means "I-amthe-body". The place, where the mother thought "I-am-the-body" arises and merges, is the spiritual heart. Because, the primal thought "I-am-the-body" arises from the spiritual heart, the spiritual heart is not an objective entity to be seen by thought. The doubt whether there is a centre of awareness at all, arises only when we identify ourselves with the physical and tangible things. There is no place, where there is no spiritual heart. The spiritual heart is omnipresent. But for those who are living only with the "I-am-the-body-idea" and for those who are deeply rooted in the relative knowledge, we have to point out that the centre of awareness is on the right side of the chest. From this centre, the awareness flows through the nervous system throughout the body. Meditation happens in this centre. The world and the body are posited in this centre. For persons with "I-am-the-body-idea" dominating, the spiritual heart might appear as mere theory. The spiritual heart is pure consciousness. It is the source of the life-current. Everything (sarvam) arises and merges in it. Because it supports everything, (sarvam) it is called the heart (ullam). It is the source of thought, but it is silent intrinsically. The spiritual heart pulsates as "I am, I am" whether the body exists or not. The spiritual heart is not a part of the body. Even if the body dies, there is no break to the pulsation of the spiritual heart (Aham-Sphurana) that is "I am" "I am". This fact is re26

vealed only to the sensitive minds. The spiritual heart exists as it should be. If we keep on framing ideas and false notions about it, its presence eludes us. So it is better not to go on thinking and intellectualising it; instead, one should posit one's mind in the spiritual heart. We have lost hold on the spiritual heart because of identification only with the body. This calamity happen because we attribute the movement of the body and the movement of the mind to our natural state of being due to the defect of superimposition (Adhyasa). We are different from the body and mind. Our essential nature is awareness, that is "I am that I am". So the source of everything, the self-effulgent spiritual heart, is our nature. To posit our mind in it is real devotion, real knowledge, real union with our essential being (Yoga). This is the thoughtless pure pristine state. Once the mind is posited in the spiritual heart, the mind becomes one with the spiritual heart, just as a salt-lump, when thrown into the sea, dissolves and becomes one with the sea. The living "Guru" has his mind posited in the spiritual heart and in his presence, our mind also posits in our spiritual heart, without the effort of any kind on our part. So one should surrender to such a "Guru" (Master) as, through him, we should see that our mind gets posited in our spiritual heart. This is the meaning of human life. We should not waste our life by pursuing trivial things.

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FALSE “I” In self-enquiry we understand what we are. There is no attempt to change it. That very awareness transforms what we are. The idea “I-am-the-body” is the mind. It is an intangible link between pure conciousness and the body. The "I" thought is the factor which imagines that it is doing or thinking on its own. It claims the ownership of doing and thinking. Its various aspects of work are named differently as Aham Bhava ("I" thought, Ego), Buddhi (Intellect) Manas (Thought process), Chitta (memory), but the entity is only one. "I-am-the-body-idea" with limited consciousness is Jiva. When the light of pure consciousness falls on the Mahat Brahman it is reflected as the reflected consciousness; when this reflected consciousness, identifies itself with non-self, a phenomenon, a concept called the ego appears to exist; when the reflected consciousness is free of any identity with nonself, there is nothing like the ego. So the ego, that is the contaminated "l-am-the-body-idea", is an irreducible datum. Because there is always a continuous uninterrupted flow of identity with the nonself, the ego appears as an existential entity. “I-am-the-body” identity, is the source of all other identities. The ego assumes that it is thinking and remembering and it superimposes all the other activities done by association with reflected consciousness on it. This is a wrong assumption, just an imagination of the ego. All the activities done consciously in the sphere of the ego, are hovered around “I-am-the-body-idea”. “I-am-the-body-idea” is the first person; with it, the second and third persons appear. So all these three appear and disappear simultaneously. The false ‘I’ is inactive in sleep and we experience the happiness which is natural to the thought-free state of sleep. This happiness temporarily is only a negative one, in the sense, it is the result of the lack of thought disturbance. This happiness arises from Anandamaya kosa (causal body); when the false "I" is active in the waking state, because we lack self-knowledge, every-

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thing is topsy-turvy, resulting in the relative knowledge which is due to the wrong perception which leads us to duality, conflict and misery. "I-am-the-body-idea" is the source of creation. The false "I", which obstructs self-knowledge, says that there is nothing like self-knowledge and peace. The very idea or feeling that one is not having self-knowledge is a major obstacle for the revelation of self knowledge. After all what is self-knowledge?. The existence as conscious beings, or the conscious Union with "I amness" is the self-knowledge. The identifying entity, which identifies with nonself is the false "I" or ignorance. It is the "I" thought, which sleeps, dreams and wakes up perceiving the objective world with a separative feeling (Bheda Buddhi). It thinks, eats, dies and is reborn. When we go beyond identifying with nonself, the ignorance is nullified and self-knowledge is revealed. "I-am-the-body-idea", rises with the body and subsides with the body; But it lives as the mind even after death. When "I-amthe-body-idea" identifies with the body, it is called contaminated "I", (false "I"). In its pure state, when there is no identity with the body, it is not contaminated, it is pure "I". In "Who am I?" enquiry, we enquire into the identifying attitude, an objectifying tendency of the false "I". ‘‘Who am I” is an inner quest to know the source of the false “I”, but it is not an intellectual enquiry through thought. Birth and death pertain to the false “I”. In the quest for the source of the false "I", we encounter pure consciousness. If we are capable .of holding the false "I" conciously the revelation of pure consciousness is in the offing.

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PURE CONSCIOUSNESS - PRIMAL IGNORANCE Pure consciousness is uncontaminated awareness. Ignorance is contaminated awareness. As a part of the arrangement of seeing its own form in a relative manner and to express its own inherent power, pure consciousness reflects in a reflecting medium called Mahat Brahman. Mahat Brahman is an aspect of pure consciousness and it acts as a reflecting medium for pure consciousness. Our mind is part of that Mahat Brahman. That is why it has the capacity to reflect pure consciousness. So the mind is also a reflecting medium. The outcome of such reflection is called the reflected consciousness (prati bhasika satta). Reflected consciousness owes its origin to pure consciousness. It is with the help of reflected consciousness, we are able to see and live in the objective world. Reflected consciousness is focused by the mind to see the things in the darkness of self-ignorant state. When the veiling power inherent in pure consciousness, named Adi Parasakti or Moola Avidya or Primal Ignorance, veils reflected consciousness, there is self-forgetfulness which is called self-ignorance. Just as the absence of light is called darkness, similarly, the absence of awareness of the light of pure consciousness is called self-ignorance. So self-ignorance is an absence of the awareness of light of pure consciousness. So it is not an existential state. It is a negative state, that is, a state of the absence of awareness of the light of pure consciousness. If we can invoke the light of consciousness through enquiry, naturally self-ignorance is destroyed forever. All these are in the scheme of things for an expression of the power of pure consciousness through manifestation. For the manifestation of pure consciousness all these are required. Self-ignorance is like sleep-state. Because of the operation of the primal ignorance or Moola Avidya, in this state of sleep of self-ignorance there are three modes of mind, continuously alternating one after another. They are waking state, dream state and deep sleep state. All these happen only in the absence of aware30

ness of the light of the pure consciousness. So all these are nonexistential, negative states. In deep sleep state, there is the reflection of the bliss of pure consciousness in the mind and it is everybody’s experience that we experience reflected bliss (Abhasa) in deep sleep. Though we experience that reflected bliss, we are unable to tell that we are enjoying bliss, while in deep sleep, because, the false “I” is separated from the body and senses, which are required if we want to express what we have experienced. That is why, after waking from deep sleep in which the body is connected to the mind through “I-am-the-body-idea”, we say that we enjoyed happiness. The same bliss can be enjoyed by the mind in the waking state also if we get rid of “I-amthe-body” Identity. “I-am-the-body-idea” contaminated by tendencies identifies with the nonself which results in thought matter, which obstructs the awareness of the light and bliss of consciousness in the waking state. “I-am-the-body-idea” is ignorance. Ignorance means the absence of awareness of the light of consciousness. It results in the identification of reflected consciousness with nonself, with a subsequent spurious outgrowth of the ego. When that ego tries to correct the misery created by the identification with nonself, things become much more complicated. The ego should understand this, and should not try to interfere with the problems related to the relationship with others. Only in the mirror of relationship with others, the contents of the ego are revealed to us at the conscious level. When the ego stops interfering with psychological problems, we will have the still mind with passive awareness, then the ego subsides. If the ego tries to improve upon itself, there will be series of births and deaths. This is very important. Because the ego is a negative state of the absence of awareness of the light of consciousness, there is always misery associated with it. The ego tries to get rid of the misery created by it, by the so-called “spiritual methods”, which are basically born out of self-ignorance. So they don’t take us anywhere. We will be where we are, inspite of doing so many tricks in the name of spiritual discipline (Sadhana). The ego should realise its helplessness in finding truth i.e., pure con-

sciousness. It is only when through true enquiry, we find the source of the mind, namely pure consciousness, there is the possibility of getting rid of the misery created by the ego once and forever. The desire to attain pure consciousness is due to the ignorance. Our being itself is the pure consciousness. There is no need to attain it or desire it. To destroy the thought that we have not attained pure consciousness is the aim of the enquiry. When we abide in the source of the mind, that is pure consciousness, (thoughtless pure being), there is self-knowledge. Those, who take the waking state as the basis for our existence, say this abiding in the pure being is the the realisation of self (AtmaSiddhi). Actually that is our natural state. There is nothing new to attain anything. Because pure consciousness is self-effulgent, and self revealing it does not require any bodies to confirm and prove its existence. Then we are free from the cycle of births and deaths. This is the so-called salvation. But this is our natural state.

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Pure consciousness is an integral unity, so there is no duality, so there is no relative life, so there is no conflict, no concepts of time and space. Pure consciousness is beyond time and space. This is self-knowledge which is absolute.

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MANIFESTATION PROCESS OF THE UNMANIFEST Manifestation is not the problem, forgetting our natural pure pristine state is the problem. Because pure consciousness is unitary, it is aware of itself, but it cannot see itself because it is infinite. It has to create an artificial limitation to see itself. When such artificial limitation is created, there is the creation of the seer and the seen, resulting in relative knowledge. To aid the process of artificial limitation, primal ignorance (Moola Avidya) veils the awareness of the light of pure consciousness. The absence of awereness of the light of pure consciousness is self-ignorance (Avidya). Self-ignorance is the power of the self, and it inheres in the self; self-ignorance is also called the causal body or cosmic illusion (Maha-Maya). The mind owes its origin to the causal body and the mind is associated with tendencies, and is always associated with three characters, namely composure (Sattwa), dynamism (Rajas) and inertness (Tamas). When the light of pure consciousness falls on Mahat Brahman, it is reflected, and it is called reflected consciousness or Abhasa. Reflected consciousness (Abhasa) is a space in which the dynamic aspect (Rajas)plays the role of the false "l" (ego) and the inert aspect (Tamas) plays the role of the "not -I" (Idam) and in this process there is the illusory feeling of separateness between the false "I" and the "not I". This is called Bheda Buddhi (Bheda Bhranti - separative feeling as individual soul), which results in relative knowledge. So all relative knowledge is the outcome of ignorance through the mind, with the illusory feeling of separateness. The power of the mind is divided as mala, avarana and vikshepa. The power which identifies with the body is mala. The power which veils the awareness of reflected consciousness is "Avarana". The power which shows the unitary consciousness as multiple entity is "Vikshepa" or the power of multiplicity. The veiling power is present in all the modifications of the mind, but 33

the power of multiplicity is present only in waking and dream modes of the mind. Because of the power of multiplicity we see the cosmos in the present form as a real entity. The cosmos in its present form owes its origin to the "I-am-the-body-idea". The trinity of the seer, the seeing and the seen is the manifestation of reflected consciousness. Gross ignorance prevails in waking and dream states. The subtle ignorance prevails in deep sleep state (Sushupti). The cosmos in subtle form is present in the mind only. So if we want to know the source of the cosmos, we have to seek the source of the mind. When you have experience in waking state that the source of the world is within you, pure consciousness reveals itself to you. When it reveals in its flood light all relative things including the subject (Aham) and the object (Idam) disappear; so there is no limitation, there is unitary experience. The human body and the world are made up of the same physical principles (Tanmatras). They are derived from MotherNature. The ego, the mind, the intellect, the memory, they all belong to the nature only (Prakriti, Matter). Mind is just an internal instrument (Antahkarana), through which consciousness acts. Just as the water in the sea is transformed to clouds due to the heat of the sun and in turn the cloud veils the light of the sun, similarly thought arises, when tendencies associate with reflected consciousness and the same thought-matter veils the awareness of the light of reflected consciousness. So all of us are self-ignorant in this way. Ignorance means absence of the awareness of the light of consciousness. Because it is only an absence of the awareness of light, when we invoke the light of consciousness through self-enquiry, ignorance is annihilated forever. As enquiry progresses there is the annihilation of tendencies in the mind, and the mind is filled only with reflected consciousness which is a witnessing consciousness. If one is able to abide in this state forever, he is released from the ego and such a soul is called a liberated soul.

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So the process of manifestation begins with self-ignorance and ends with self-knowledge or liberation. In the process of manifestation the mind in ignorance accumulates many experiences, becomes miserable and tries to get rid of those experiences through sadhana (devotion, discipline). This is the evolution of ego. Just as light and heat are inseperable in fire, pure consciousness and its power are inseparable.

the consciousness and it is called Aham-Sphurana ("I am", "I am" pulsation of reflected consciousness). The conscious and the dynamic aspects of mind have their common origin in AhamSphurana. That is why, when the thought subsides, the respiration subsides, or when the respiration subsides, there is the stilling of thought. The source of "Aham - sphurana" is pure consciousness in which, there is only "amness" rather than "I amness".

To make the dormant power inhering in the consciousness to manifest, primal ignorance veils the awareness of the light of the consciousness and creates an artificial darkness. This darkness is called the causal body or self-ignorance or self-forgetfulness or Atma-Vismruti or avidya. The state in which there is the absence of self -knowledge is called self-ignorance.

A spark proceeds from pure consciousness, and in an ignorant person, it immediately identifies with the body resulting in Iam-the-body- identity (Dehatma Buddhi). Then the spark forgets its source i.e., pure consciousness, due to the action of moola avidya (primal ignorance). The association of this spark with nonself is ignorance. When this association is nullified by selfenquiry, the spark remains pure and merges itself in its source of pure consciousness. "I-am-the-body-idea" is illusory. We were extremely happy when this idea was not there in deep sleep and when we dissociated from the body and the senses in deep sleep. We should be aware that the body is dissociated in deep sleep and we should remember this fact in the waking state also, so that there is no identity of "I- am-the-body-idea" with the nonself. If we can act in the waking state without "I-am-the-body-idea", progress in enquiry is very quick. The purity of the spark of the pure consciousness is revealed between two thoughts or between two modes of the mind. Then we can be aware of pure conscious nature of the spark. The ego is like a worm. Unless it holds on to one state of the mind firmly it won’t leave the previous state. But there is a time interval between the two states of the mind. If we are aware in this period, the pure ego (uncontaminated "I-amthe-body-idea") as consciousness is revealed to us. We have to hold this state of the ego. It shines in the sheath of knowledge (Vijnanamaya Kosa) of the mind. This pure ego, is capable of finding its source, i.e., pure consciousness, then it is called Vritti Jnana (The mental mode of self-knowledge).

When the floodlight of pure consciousness, reflects in pure sattwa guna (Pure composure state), only pure consciousness is reflected as it is, objects are not reflected, just as a mirror without any background coating cannot reflect objects. To reflect the light, there must be obstruction to light at the back of the mirror. Mahat Brahman is a reflecting medium for pure consciousness and the tendencies are like coating to that mirror, so that the coating of tendencies reflects the objects of the mental and physical world. This reflected light with the coating of tendencies is useful to see the things, in the artificial darkness created by primal ignorance. First the pure consciousness reflects in sattwic mind (composure). This state is like one pure mirror facing another pure mirror, so no objects are seen. In this state the reflected light of the mind is in a witnessing state, and throbs as "I am" "I am" and this throbbing is a conscious throbbing (Aham-Sphurana). This is the first reflection of pure consciousness or this is pure mind. This is the fore-state of the play of power of pure consciousness. This is the thoughtless state of the mind just witnessing. This throbbing divides itself into the conscious aspect and the dynamic aspect. The conscious aspect is the mind, and the dynamic aspect is the Prana. The state of mind, which is conscious but there is no movement of thought, posits itself in 35

In the deep sleep state all beings are withdrawn into cosmic unconsciousness and enjoy the same darkness. The ego arises 36

from this darkness and it is called subtle body. Pure consciousness reflects only in the subtle body. When there is the reflection of pure consciousness in the subtle body, and before the grip of the ego is established, this reflected consciousness is all-pervasive. After the complete destruction of tendencies, this reflected consciousness finds its source of pure consciousness and becomes one with it. Then we are free forever from self-ignorance. When the mind is dominated by the dynamic power (Rajas), the reflected consciousness reflects on the Rajoguna and there arises a feeling of "I". This is the second reflection of the consciousness. When the reflected light of Rajoguna falls on the inert part of the mind (Tamoguna), it gives light to outerspace and objects and the feeling of "not I" arises. This is the third reflection of the consciousness. In this state, tendencies and thought-matter of the mind appear as the gross world. Then there is full evolution of the ego, with the "I" (Aham) and the "thou" (Idam), with separative feeling. From the space of pure consciousness, a space called the mind arises. In the space of pure consciousness, there are no objects. The space of the mind is filled with reflected consciousness and objects. When the separative feeling arises because of the evolution of the ego, the mind space appears as the outer space (Bhutakasa) and objects in the mind appear as the objective world. So in reality, the objective world is subjective. There is no reflection of the light of consciousness in the causal body. There is the reflection of the light of pure consciousness in the subtle body. When it is dominated by the ego, such a mind functions as thinking, reasoning and perceiving. When there is a separative feeling of the ego, the unitary consciousness appears as God, individual soul (ego) and the world. This is the manifestation process of the unmanifest.

BEING-EVOLUTION Forgetting the original reality, and seeing the reality as multiplicity is the process of evolution The self-effulgent being is the real "1" ("I amness"). The "I" thought is the ego or the false "I". "I-am-that-I-am" is our natural state of being. It is selfeffulgent, so it does not require another agency to identify it, to reveal it. Simple being is our nature. Everybody is aware of his being, because he knows that he exists, he does not need any help to know that he exists. Being is unitary. There is no need to show or prove the being with the mind, because the being is self-revealing. Because we are deeply rooted in the relative knowledge, we ask how to know our being in an objective way. The habit of objectifying is so strong in us that we ask how to be aware of our being in an objective way. See how ridiculous is the question!. In deep sleep, we are disconnected with the body, i.e., there is no "I-am-the-body-idea" in that state, and we are extremely happy in that state. So to exist as the being there is no need of the body or the senses or the mind. We can be in the same state of happiness in the waking state also if we do not identify with the body through "I-am-the-body-idea". The ego is a product of self-ignorance and all methods created by the ego to know the self are futile. The illusion that we do not know our being is a major obstacle for the revelation of selfknowledge. How can we deny our being, just because it is not possible to show our being in an objective way?. How can we see our own being, which is unitary?.

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For the revelation of self-knowledge, the trinity of the seer, the seeing and the seen is not required. How can we see the seer? Can we see our own eyes, or is it necessary to locate eyes every time before we see something?. Just being as the seer is enough. Because the being is self-effulgent, no other entity is required to

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identify it. Even the false "I" is conscious of its existence, even though sometimes there is loss of one or two senses. If that is the case with the false "I", what to say about the self-effulgence of real "I"?. We are real beings. There is no need to achieve our being. The being cannot be found by a process of achievement. Any effort to achieve our being is ridiculous. If it is achievable, it must be transient, not eternal, not infinite. That which is not eternal is not worth having. That which appears and disappears is nonself, it is always transitory. Being as the effulgent self is seeing God. Seeing the God means being godliness. Nonself cannot veil the existence of self, but it can veil the awareness of the light and bliss of the self. Our being is the nearest to us. We are that. Thought takes us away from our being. Thought is always extroverted, where as consciousness exists as self-effulgent being. Our essential nature is consciousness. Just as heat is a property of fire, consciousness is the property of the being. Only the self-knowledge is eternal. All the relative knowledge is transient and owes its origin to self-ignorance. The sea is one, its waves are many; the being is one, but its manifestations are many. Our being is consciousness. Is there any possibility to lose the being which is consciousness ? In the infinite being, the cosmos is a small sound. In Being there is the body and its counterpart, the world. Because we are deeply rooted in the relative knowledge we expect some place in the body where the self shines. How can we locate a certain point in the body as the place for consciousness which is unitary and infinite. And in that way we are trying to limit the infinite conscious being, in a place of the body. See the futility of such exercise. The world has its being in a subtle form in the mind. When pure consciousness reflects in the mind, the world appears as very big because the "I-am-the-body-idea" acts as a magnifying lens 39

and shows the subtle world present in the mind in magnified form, and creates the illusion that the world is outside and contrary to us. To know that the world and the mind are not apart from self is integration. To think that the mind, the world, self are separate is differentiation and so illusory. If we have the direct experience that the source of the mind is the self, then we are beyond all illusions. When thought rises, then only we perceive the world and its affairs. Thought is within us. So the world is also within us. The primal ignorance which is inherent in self causes self-ignorance, so that the power of the self can be manifested. Self-ignorance is the power of self. The three modes of the mind namely, waking, dream state and deep sleep owe their existence to the primal ignorance (Moola Avidya). All these three modes are illusory. The illusions are possible only in sleep. So all these modes occur in sleep only. Even birth and death are illusions in this sleep state of self-ignorance. The rise of "I-am-the-body-idea" is gross ignorance. An ignorant one is not aware of the source of "I-am-thebody-idea". Jiva is reflected consciousness associated with nonself and he sees the world as though it is outside of himself. In deep sleep state, ignorance is so subtle that neither the subject, nor the thoughts nor the objects are perceived and it is full of darkness. Thoughtless state is natural to deep sleep state. That is why every human being prefers sleep for the happiness of a thoughtless state of deep sleep. A spark from pure consciousness emits and immediately it identifies with nonself. This association of the spark with nonself is ignorance. Then arises "I" thought, with separative feeling and there is the perception of the objective world as "not I". All this happens in the sheath of the knowledge-mind (Vijnanamaya Kosa). So the relative life starts in the sheath of the knowledgemind. Once there is relativity, the concept of time and space is always inherent to relativity. When there is the concept of time,

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there is the concept of evolution. The evolution is time-bound. Is the unitary being without any limits a product of evolution and time?. Is the limitless being time-bound?. Can limitation become limitless in the evolutionary process of time?. The ego, the body and the world evolve through time. Is unitary self-effulgent consciousness a product of such evolutionary process or is consciousness beyond all evolutionary process?. Let us investigate this vital issue with the totality of our being. The Evolution is in the field of the limited only. The whole creation is in the domain of imagination only. Any imagination is limited, so the creation is also limited. When there is limitation there is duality. When there is duality there is always conflict. When there is duality, thought arises. Thought arises from memory and memory is always limited. So the action and observation of thought is always limited and incomplete, leaving some residue of nonunderstanding. With the limited observation of thought, there is conflict, misery. When thought understands all this, it stops trying to correct the psychological problems of relationship with the others. When thought subsides, there is still mind with pure spark of the ego. The still mind is filled with reflected consciousness only i.e. passive awareness. Reflected consciousness in the still mind has the capacity to identify its source, i.e., pure consciousness and becomes one with its source, just as an image made of salt when thrown into the sea, immediately melts in the sea. Then the pure spark of the ego posits itself in pure consciousness and we act from that conscious centre. When we act from that conscious centre which is called the spiritual heart, there is complete action, without any residue of nonunderstanding, so there is no more conflict. Searching the source of the mind is true enquiry. The intrinsic nature of "I-am-the-body-idea" is reflected consciousness. When we posit our mind in pure consciousness, we will have direct experience that Godliness is not apart from pure consciousness. The objective world owes its origin to the subject. So the 41

objective world is really the subjective world. When the colourless light ray passes through a prism, it manifests as seven colours; similarly the light of pure consciousness, when reflects in the mind manifests as God, jiva (Individual soul) and the world. When the light of consciousness falls on the mind, the composure state of nothingness (sattwa) assumes the role of God, the dynamic power of the mind (Rajoguna) assumes the role of "I" thought, the ego and inertness (Tamas) appear as the world and the objects. Because God, jiva and the world arise from the mind, God, ego and the world appear and disappear at the same time. Reflected consciousness of the mind belongs to the mothernature. (Para Prakriti). It has a beginning and an ending. It is witnessing in nature, so the duality is there. That which has a beginning and an ending is always illusory, transient. Whereas pure consciousness is our being, uncaused, so there is no beginning nor ending to our being. Truth is always eternal and the eternal has no beginning, so there is no ending. The seer and the seen are just the illusory work of the mind, so both of them subside when we closely look at them through enquiry. In the enquiry, reflected consciousness withdraws from nonself and it is able to identify its source i.e. pure consciousness. The consciousness reveals itself in the still mind. In a still lake the moon reflects beautifully. The lake does not make any effort for the reflection of the moon to be. The reflection of the moon happens by itself. Similarly pure consciousness reflects in the still mind. There is no effort either on the part of Still mind or pure consciousness. Even though the moon is reflected in the lake, waters of the lake do not touch him. Similarly when pure consciousness reflects in the mind, the mind does not touch pure consciousness. The reflection of pure consciousness in the still mind is like death to the evolutionary process. It is the door to the eternal self-knowledge. When imagination and evolutionary process stop there is the revelation of self-knowledge. Self-ignorance, which is prevailing for aeons and aeons ends, pure consciousness 42

reveals itself. Self-knowledge is just a beginning of eternal life which is beyond the mind. Life has no ending. Just as the heat is always associated with the fire, our being is always associated with consciousness (Buddhatwam).

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VIOLENCE, ANGER In the experiencing of anger in awareness, anger is transformed as joy The ego is a combination of deeply-rooted multiple images formed by the thought about ourselves and others. The image is a thing, formed by thought, about ourselves and about others. It is born out of the interaction of the ego with the outside world with separative feeling (Bheda Buddhi). When the mind through sense organs interacts with the outside world, tendencies are formed and stamped on the mind and the tendencies act in association with reflected consciousness. The source of anger and violence is the "ego", which expresses itself in so many ways. There will be no anger in the "egoless state". When an image about ourselves is insulted that image responds. Any image is always old. So when we are insulted, it is the old that is responding to the present situation. So we must be free of the past when we are challenged with a fresh problem in the present. It implies freedom from everything that man has put to another man; belief, dogma, rituals, country, concepts about the God, and of various opinions. All these divide human beings and so breed violence. The life of a man who has a purpose breeds violence and anger and a man with the ego lives a life of purpose, so always he is violent. The question of knowing anger and violence is really complex. When we say I know a person, basically it means we know his past. Persons always change from moment to moment. So we can never know a person in the present. The same is the case with, anger and violence. I can say I have been violent, but I do not know what violence and anger is now, I am angry, but I realise a moment later that I was angry. The realisation is the recognition that I have been angry. Otherwise I do not know it as anger. The recognition interferes with the actuality. Seeking the cause of anger is the explanation of the cause. Naming the actuality as anger, condemning it or justifying it, trying to get rid of it, are all forms of distraction from the fact of violence and anger.

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Religions are organised beliefs. Beliefs separate human beings. So if anybody belongs to a particular religion he is violent. That is why though the religions have tried to tame the human being for centuries upon centuries, they failed.

VITAL CAUSE OF HUMAN PROBLEMS

So to go into the problem of anger and violence, we must be completely vulnerable, open to the fact of anger and violence. Then violence tells its story in all its detail. If we actually, with our heart, see the nature of violence and anger, see the danger of it, we are finished with it. Then we are left with passive awareness which is by nature joyful. So if one observes violence and anger with all his being, anger and violence flower in passive awareness. The flowering of anger is the withering of it. So what remains after the observation is only joy, which is our intrinsic nature. The same process of observation is applicable to other human problems like greed, envy, ambition etc. and all these are interrelated problems, with the "ego" as their source.

We exist as The Being at all times. The Being is simple. Problems arise only when we identify with something which we are not i.e. caste, color, race, nationality, profession, property, gender etc., and start saying I am so- and-so. If we are going to Arunachala from our native place we board a train and a bus. Actually those vehicles move. Our body is not moving. But we superimpose those movements on us and usually say "I" have travelled. It is just out of habit we say like that. Similarly, when the body moves or acts, we claim and superimpose the movements of the body on us and say "I" walked or "I" acted, and so on. This is due to identity with the body. Similarly when thoughts arise in our interior, one spurious agency called "thinker" superimposes the movement of thought, and says I am thinking. This is due to identity with the mind-mechanism (Antahkarana). The thinker appears as a real entity because of our continuous identity with nonself in an uninterrupted way. Suppose there is no identity with non-self and so there is no thought, there is nothing like the entity called the "thinker". The thinker is only an appearance, it has no existential reality. It is only the creation of thought. Thought is the "thinker". If there is no thought, there is nothing like the "thinker". So the ego, though it appears as reality to many it is only a phantom.

If at the moment of anger we can hold on to the conscious aspect of the mind, i.e., passive awareness, there is the observation of anger with the still mind, and anger or violence reveals itself in all its subtleties. Then our mind goes beyond violence. Fear of death overpowered Bhagawan Sri Ramana Maharshi; then at the moment of fear of death, Bhagwan held himself to the conscious aspect of his mind, and the process of death was revealed to him in all its glory, and from that moment Bhagwan had gone beyond death (Mrutyunjaya). This is real self-enquiry, this is real religiosity. Such observation with the still mind is the only way to solve human problems like violence, anger, desire, greed, lust, ambition, envy, arrogance, fear etc.

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We must be aware of thought, emotion, feeling which compel us to think about ourselves.

When we superimpose the movements of the body and the mind on consciousness, and start saying "me" and "mine", selfisolation process starts, and there is apparent separation from the whole existence because of this separative feeling. Simple being is our nature, but when we identify with the body and the mind, superimpose their movements on consciousness, definitely there are problems in daily life. Thought arises when consciousness identifies with nonself. Reflected consciousness identifies with nonself only in a state of self-forgetfulness (Atma Vismruti). So 46

thought arises only in a state of self-forgetfulness. So naturally, thought, which is a by-product of self-ignorance, cannot do selfenquiry. So all methods invented by the mind to find the self are a product of self-ignorance. So all mental methods for self-enquiry are useless. Thought creates problems, because it is born out of self-ignorance and identity with non-self. When such thought tries to set right the problems created by itself, problems are multiplied. This is obvious in our daily life. This is the main problem of humanity. Thought itself is the problem. It cannot correct itself. Unless we have the still mind with uncontaminated consciousness, it is not possible to be aware of the working of thought. To have the still mind, we have to radically transform the way we are living. If we can live a life without conflict, it is possible to have the still mind. The ways of the ego i.e., thought, will not be revealed by rituals, mechanical repetition of sacred words, or deliberate meditation which are basically mental imagery and mental evolutionary methods. Thought (ego) should understand that it cannot deal with the problems created by it in the psychological dimension. Out of that understanding, thought (ego) subsides and we have the still mind with uncontaminated consciousness. When the water in a vessel moves, the reflection in water appears to move. When the water in the vessel is still, the reflection in the water is clear. Similarly when tendencies in the mind are moving, reflected consciousness of the mind also appears to move. Actually reflected consciousness never moves. When all tendencies of the mind are annihilated, reflected consciousness shines without any apparent movement, in all its glory. When the being is reflected in the still mind, then there is no identity of consciousness with nonself and naturally there are no problems. So thought (ego) is the main problem of humanity, and the way to live beyond thought (ego) is found in the still mind with uncontaminated consciousness.

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WHAT IS SELF-ENQUIRY The inner quest to know the source of the mind and to abide there, is the art of self-enquiry Everybody loves his being intensely. Though his body is about to die, still man wants to live, because he loves his being. When there is a dangerous situation, the human being runs away to save himself. This is due to his loving himself. So self is vital and very near to everybody. The loving of self is evident at all times, in any situation. The human being loves pleasurable things like wife, children, and property only for his well being. In that process he attaches himself to them and gets entrenched in the bondage. Then he tries his best to get out of that bondage. The nature of the self is self-effulgent "I amness" i.e. it does not require another entity like the body and the mind to prove its existence as consciousness. It is conscious of its existence. The body, the mind, the intellect, the memory and the sense organs are by nature insentient. An iron filing moves just because of the presence of a magnet near by. The iron filing moves because of the attractive power of the magnet. Just like that the insentient body, mind, intellect, memory and sense organs work by the power derived from reflected consciousness. When we travel fast in a vehicle, we feel as though the earth and the trees around us are moving. There is superimposition in this situation in two ways. ("Anyonyadhyasa"). We are attributing our movements on the static things like earth and trees, and we are attributing their static property on us. This is the defect of superimposition (Adhyasa) and leads to a wrong way of observation, because there is the fundamental defect of superimposition (Adhyasa) there. In a similar way, the ego, the intellect, the mind, the memory, the sense organs, and the body derive their energy from reflected consciousness but the ego imagines that it is doing all these activities by itself and claim for itself the ownership of all these 48

activities. This is wrong assumption. Reflected consciousness means the reflection of pure consciousness on the intellect. From the intellect, reflected consciousness pervades all over the body through the nervous system and aid in the functioning of the mind, the intellect, the ego, the memory, the sense organs and the body. The doership and the enjoyership are taken to be the functions of the ego. Volition, doubting, attachment, hatred, fear, misery etc. are the result of the functioning of the mind. Hunger and thirst are the functions of vital airs (Prana).

Reflected consciousness has the capacity to find its source and becomes one with pure consciousness. Thus Reflected consciousness (Jiva) is released from the illusion that it is bound to nonself forever and posits itself in its source i.e., pure consciousness. This is called moksha or liberation or nirvana or Kingdom of heaven. This is the goal of our precious human life. Let us start self-enquiry for the release from illusory bondage with nonself and start drinking the nectar of divinity.

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Birth, growth, ageing, decay, transiency of existence, and death are natural to the body. The contaminated intellect, with reflected consciousness, superimposes all these characters on it and says "I" enjoy, "I am the doer" of the work of all these, "I am" hungry, "I am" suffering from disease and pain, "I am" getting old, "I am" going to die. All this misunderstanding is due to lack of self-enquiry. The intellect attributes all these on it because of self-ignorance. Selfignorance is annihilated only by self-knowledge, not by any mental activity, which is a by-product of self-ignorance. When we start self-enquiry, the conscious aspect of the mind is brought into scene, and searches for the source of the entity (ego) which claims ownership of all the activities done. Because one is doing self-enquiry with reflected consciousness, the entity (ego) which claims ownership of activities takes to its feet. Then there is an experience of absence of the ego. Then it will be found that there is no doer of the activities. All these activities happen spontaneously in the presence of reflected consciousness without any doer. It is just like spontaneous opening up of petals of the lotus when "Sun" raises. In a similar way ego, mind, intellect, memory, body function spontaneously in the "presence" of reflected consciousness. This is the fruit of self-enquiry, in which the mind is filled with reflected consciousness which is without any contamination.

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SELF-ENQUIRY IS THE "ONLY REAL" RELIGION Once we taste the bliss of truth, the never -ending blissful journey of eternal life starts. Because truth is infinite, there cannot be specific routes to it nor methods. All methods belong to the mind, so all methods are in the field of time-space, so illusory; we cannot approach truth through beliefs or rituals. We cannot reach truth through the evolution of mind, which is basically time-bound. Only in the mirror of relation with others, the contents of the mind, which include thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and ignorance are revealed to us at the conscious level. Life is relationship with others. When we relate to others, we form images about them, we try to relate with the image, rather than the actuality, factuality. We have to see whether we can live with facts. The mind is deeply stuffed with thought-matter. Every thought owes its origin to the mother-thought "I-am-the-bodyidea". We think that this mind stuff is the only reality. Humans encounter problems daily. Every problem is new; we always approach the new problem with the old experiences only, which is commonly called the ego. So when we encounter a new problem, there is always the shadow of the past. The past means the sum total, quintessence of all past experiences. Manifestation of those past experiences is thought. Because experiences are limited, the thought which arises from the memory of experiences is always limited, as J. Krishna Moorthy says. We cannot think of that which we do not know. Thought works in the field of only the known. There is no thought in the state of ‘experiencing’, i.e., perception. Thought cannot penetrate into the unknown. There is no experiencing in the case of thought. When the perception is over, then thought enters and translates that experience according to the known, i.e., the past, and categorises it as so and so, and stores it in the memory cells of the brain. When we approach a new problem, we approach it with the burden of the past and in the

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light of the past. We see the new problem through the mask of the past. So naturally the past distorts and interferes with our understanding of the problem as it is. At present we are in misery. The misery is due to the divisive factor called thought. Thought is a material process. It is a conditioned response of the memory. So thought is never free. Because the memory is limited, thought is always limited. Its awareness is also limited. If we want to encounter any problem, we must have a free mind, i.e., the mind which is empty of thought, empty of past memories. A free mind is always fresh, and young capable of dealing with the new problem. If we attend to the problem, with all our being whole heartedly, and gather all our energies, we will have one-pointed mind, without any effort on our part. The mind becomes free, when it is free from thought. In the free mind there is no noise of thought. When thought is there, it always tries to recognise. It can recognise only the things which are already known. It cannot recognise the new. It tries to translate the new, in the language of the old. After recognising, thought tries to convert that which has happened as "experiencing" into the field of the known. Then thought calls it as experience. The experience is stored in the memory cells. When we act from these past experiences that are stored in the brain, but not with a free mind, i.e. the mind which is free of thought, it is the past that is responding. Relation with others is not a static process, it is a dynamic process between two egos. Something is added to the ego, or something is deleted from it every moment. So such relationship demands attention with a free mind, which is free of thoughts, beliefs, emotions, dogmas etc. When there is no attempt to recognise and convert what we perceive with the senses into experience, and memorise it, there is the still mind. There is the stilling of thought. Then the mind is filled with uncontaminated awareness which is required when we relate to others. The stilling of the thought is required when we relate with others, so that there is no observer to observe in the form of thought. The observer and that which is observed are both 52

thoughts. Both belong to thought. When we observe the observed with thought, we are simply perpetuating the past. We are not living in the present. When we encounter the present, which is always new, with the past, i.e., thought, there is always distortion in the observation of relationship. If we want to know the ways of the working of the mind, we should love it. If we condemn the mind, it won’t reveal its contents. We should know how the mind relates to others. This requires tremendous love on our part. In the psychological field, perception is action. Perceiving the ever changing ego itself, brings out tremendous spiritual discipline, which is not born out of the mind. Whereas when we deal with matter, we have the process of perception, recognition, experience, and storing the experience as memory and when we are challenged to act, we can act from the past memories because we are dealing with the static matter there. So in the physical dimension, the process of recognition, experience, memory, and further action from memory is right action, whereas in the psychological dimension just perception is complete action. Here if the thought which is always limited, interferes, there is limited action, so there is always a residue of nonunderstanding which leads to various psychological problems. The truth should endure in all times, in all aspects. We are conscious beings. We know that we exist, but we are limiting ourselves to the body-mind in the waking state. In deep sleep, even though we are disconnected with the body along with its senses, our mind is recording that we are extremely happy in deep sleep. So happiness is inherent to us, whether we associate with the body or not. Actually association with the body in the waking state is disturbing our inherent happy nature. We are existing in all modes of the mind, i.e., waking, dreaming, dreamless sleep. So existence is our nature. But we are ignorant of the nature of "I amness" existence. During deep sleep when there are no thoughts and when there is no perception of the world, we are extremely happy. In the waking and the dreaming states of the mind, we perceive the world of name and form and we see the objective 53

world with a separative feeling (Bheda Buddhi), resulting in the oblivion of the nature of "I amness existence". When thought (ego) subsides, the nature of "I amness" is revealed, it is revealed when there is no trace of the ego. When we are aware of nature of "I amness" there is complete freedom and bliss. The mind is transformed only when there is the revelation of truth moment to moment. There is creativity in the state of "I amness". We are the bliss, which is embedded in "I amness" existence. To search our existence which is our being, externally is to escape from one’s self. Godliness exists as "I amness" in us. Jesus said "And the Kingdom of heaven is within you, and whomsoever shall know himself shall find it".-Gospel of Luke. If we pursue godliness with extroverted mind, we see forms that are present only in our mind. These forms are illusory. They are the result of ignorance; existence is not a result of our desire. We cannot find truth by pursuing it through thought. As long as there is self-ignorance, there is the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", with identity with nonself, which results in perversive thinking. Even the technological knowledge we have, will be used in a perverted way. Such things lead to destruction. Self-knowledge is not the final goal. It is the gateway to eternal life with bliss. So true enquiry is the only real religion and real knowledge. It is the knowledge through which we can cleanse the dust that is formed as layers and layers over our ‘I amness being" from aeons and aeons of time. We should learn the art of abiding in the self, through a being who abides in the self without any distraction. Such a person is called the "Guru" (Master). When we touch our being, which is blissful intrinsically, there is no longer any misery. Such a state is called liberation, Moksha, the kingdom of heaven, or Nirvana. All these are synonymous with our being. A person, who is doing self enquiry, does not belong to any organised belief, which is organised religion. Real religiosity unveils the nameless, unitary, pure consciousness. The mind that 54

is liberated from the ego is a virtuous mind. Such a mind has no thought-stuff; it has no problems, and meditation happens to such a mind, destroying volition (Sankalpa) doubting (Vikalpa) Character of the mind. This is called annihilation of the mind (manonasa). In that state, there is only the being, there is no becoming. If we can go to that extent, we arrive at a state, where nothing else needs be known. It is a state of eternity, love, compassion, and pure knowledge. At present we are in a continuous state of conflict. That conflict ends forever only when we understand the ways of the working of the mind mechanism through self-enquiry.

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NEED FOR SELF-ENQUIRY - PART I The finite, the transient, the mortal are the manifestations of our essential being. Just as the sentient spider emits insentient saliva, the insentient world and the mind owe their existence to the self-effulgent, omniscient, omnipresent Brahman. When we forget our essential nature that we are uncontaminated conscious beings, there arises in us, "I-am-the-body-idea". When the "I-am-the-body-idea" is contaminated with the dynamic (Rajas) and inert (Tamas) characters of the mind, "thou" arises, so we land in a world of duality, with its consequence of misery. The ego, which is made up of thought, is separative (Bheda Buddhi) in nature intrinsically. When we go on remembering the past events stored in the ego, misery is the outcome. So when we divert our mind from the world to the Omniscient, self-effulgent conscious Brahman, which is blissful intrinsically, the ego becomes one with Brahman, just as a lump of salt, when thrown into the sea, becomes one with the sea. Then there is no place or possibility for misery in the ego; there arises a bliss which is not of this world. This happens to the mind, only by the grace of God, not by anything else. So we have to decide urgently either to live in misery by the attachment to the ideas of colour, race, caste, gender, property, body etc., or to become one with the blissful, omniscient, conscious supreme being, that is Brahman. For this, self-enquiry is the way, which proceeds in us because of the grace of God.

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NEED FOR SELF-ENQUIRY - PART II Truth is revealed more in the process of self-enquiry Thinking is a function of the mind. Thinking is a response of the memory. Because the memory is limited, the thought which owes its origin to the memory is always limited. The information stored in the memory cells of the brain is material in nature. When the thought, which arises from the interaction of reflected consciousness (Abhasa) and memory, an illusory separative feeling (Bheda Bhranti) is always there. When there is separation, there is duality. Thought is a self-isolation process. When it is set into action, its activity is always self-centred and always leads to selfisolation with its disastrous consequences. Though we talk about universal brotherhood, and loving-the-neighbour-idea, when we act from the ego there is always a separative feeling resulting in conflict and misery. Beliefs, scholarships and experiences give us a false sense of security and prompt us to do more self-centred activity. The so-called mental discipline, which is supported by all the religions, strengthens the ego. Mental discipline is a response of conditioning, so it is never free. Such response leads to the continuation and strengthening of the ego (False "I"). Suppression, imitation, domination and conformity are always there in the mental discipline. Beliefs, scholarship, experiences, mental discipline, ambition, eye-on- the-fruit-of-action and living in the network of becoming destroy us. Unless there is cessation of all these, there will be no self-revelation of the truth. Unless we do self-enquiry, there is no cessation of all these degenerating factors. So selfenquiry is the first priority in human life.

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SIGNIFICANCE OF THE TRANSITIONAL STATE IN SELF-ENQUIRY Thinking is going out. Going in is not really going in, it is simply stopping going out, so nonthinking is going in (Antarmukha). The ego in its pure form is the self. When it is pure it pulsates as "I am", "I am" in us. Existence as "l am", "I am" is our eternal, natural, pristine, pure state of being. But when the pure spark of the ego becomes extroverted and looks at a tangent and says "this", forming the name and form, the ego is contaminated and evolves as ahamkara (contaminated "I"), with a separative feeling (Bheda Buddhi) of the seer (Aham) and the seen (Idam). As we become awake from deep sleep there is a time interval, when we do not completely cognise outward things through our senses. In that time interval, there is the awareness of pure "I". If you do not slip into sleep, or if thoughts about nonself do not crowd your mind, if you can hold the pure "I" it matters little whether you cognize the external world or not, because what you see has no effect on you. When we have direct experience of pure "I", which is not associated with nonself, it shows us the way to the pure conscious being. By the grace of "Guru" we can posit our mind in pure consciousness by utilising this transitional state carefully, sincerely, with humility and devotion. There are five stages in the transitional state: 1. Deep sleep 2. Thought-free state before being fully awake. 3. Happiness due to the thought-free state 4. Movement of latent tendencies. 5. Fully awakened state where thought-matter predominates and obstructs the transitional state. Our endeavour should be to make the state 2 permanent.

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SELF-ENQUIRY - PART 1 In the understanding and perception of the false, there is truth. While living in Ramanasramam, if one enquires where is Ramanasramam, how to go to Ramanasramam, what are the various routes to reach it, how to start the journey and things like that, it shows that such a person is in a total illusory state. The same is the case with us; being pure consciousness, we try to know where pure consciousness is, what the various routes are to reach it, how to see it objectively, where pure consciousness is positioned in the body and things like that, they are due to "I-am-the-body-idea". When "I-am-the-body-idea" identifies with the body, there is the limitation of consciousness to the bodymind. This limitation of consciousness is illusory, nonexistential. Then there is extroversion of the mind, the illusory things look real, and the real entity of pure conscious being, appears as mere theory. The truth of oneself alone is worthy to be scrutinised and known. Taking it as the target of one’s attention, one should keenly know it in the spiritual heart. The knowledge of oneself will be revealed only to a mind which is clear, silent, and free from the agitation of thought-activity. Our existence as "I amness" is the common experience to all. We are conscious beings and we know that we exist. Being deeply rooted in the relative knowledge, we are asking how to know our own conscious being in an objective way. How can our being be objectified?. This is ridiculous. "I-am-the-body-idea" makes us conscious of the body which is no problem. But, because of the impact of tendencies (Vasanas) one identifies with the body. This identification with the body is the root of all problems. There is diffence between just being conscious of the body which is physiological and identification with the body which is pathological. Because of a series of con59

tinuous uninterrupted identifications to non-self, the mind appears as an existential entity. When pure consciousness falls on the mind, tendencies of the mind reflect it as reflected consciousness. Reflected consciousness identifies itself with the body and thinks "I-am-the-body". This is self- ignorance. Basing on this first identification to the body, all other identifications start and we lose sight of pure consciousness. When there is an identity with the body, there is limitation, so duality, so conflict, so misery. So the identification with the body always leads to misery. To know that identity with the body is "only a thought" is the goal of true enquiry. Now, we live our daily life through the actions starting from a psychological centre which is formed due to the interaction of the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", with the separative outside. When one enquires "Who am I" the "I" in "who am I" means contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea". So we are enquiring into this false "I". Contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea" is the false "I". "Who am I?" enquiry is a quest, a passive state of knowing. It is not an active state of the questioning mind; it is not an intellectual affair. The intellect is veiled by self-ignorance. So any attempt of the intellect contaminated with ignorance to find the truth is like groping in the darkness. So the so called spiritual methods invented by the intellect contaminated with ignorance will keep us in ignorance, however sincerely we follow the method. Only with the revelation of pure consciousness, self-ignorance is annihilated. During self-enquiry, we do enquiry with the consciousness that is inherent to the still mind, but not with the mind that is contaminated by self-ignorance. In the attempt to find the source of the contaminated "I", we touch pure consciousness. We cannot see light with the help of darkness. Only with the advent of light darkness disappears. Just like that while doing self enquiry when we touch pure consciousness, self-ignorance is annihilated. The belief that the mind can by its own activities reach the self is the root of all misconceptions about the practice of self-enquiry. In the passive state of knowing, we try to know the source of the contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea". We don’t 60

accept or reject the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", but we earnestly enquire into the source of that idea.

angle of contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea", we speak of the inner or outer. Such a notion is wrong. Pure consciousness, which supports everything (Sarvam) is called the spiritual heart. We have to do enquiry till the tendencies are completely annihilated.

When we earnestly enquire into the source of the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", our attention is withdrawn from nonself. "Who am I" investigation is not an invitation to analyse the mind and come to conclusions about its nature nor is it a mantric (mechanical repetition of a sacred word ) formula. When our attention is focused only on "I-am-the -body-idea", there is reduction in the thought-flow which later is completely eradicated. When we hold on to "I-am-the -body-idea" the conscious aspect of that idea shows us the way to pure consciousness. So selfenquiry facilitates self-awareness. When we are capable of holding on to "I-am-the -body-idea", we can see that it does not identify with anything because we are aware of it. If we can do that, the contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea" becomes pure, full of reflected consciousness, not contaminated by anything and in such a state it becomes one with pure consciousness. But if the tendencies are not completely annihilated, again "I-am-the-body-idea" gets contaminated. Cessation of the contaminated "I-am-the-bodyidea" temporarily is called ‘manolaya’ (temporary cessation of the activity of the mind). In this, one is in a temporary thoughtfree state, consciously. Even though there is bliss in this stage, ignorance is not annihilated. So thought-process is activated after sometime. So, if "manolaya" happens to us, we should further enquire, "what is the entity that enjoys bliss?", otherwise we are likely to land in a blissful trance-like state, which is not realisation. "Manolaya" is the point where divergence between the road to liberation and "yoga nidra" (trance-like state) takes place. The still mind is not the goal of true enquiry. The still mind is a proper state of mind, for the revelation of pure consciousness. Through the still mind we posit our limited consciousness in the spiritual heart. This is the aim of true enquiry. Trying to locate the spiritual heart in a particular area of the body is not true enquiry. How can we assume that there is such and such a place in the body for the infinite being of pure consciousness?. There is nothing like outer or inner for pure consciousness. It is only from the

As true enquiry progresses, thoughts which obstruct our natural state of being (Atma Swaroopa) are reduced. Then the mind (ego) becomes pure and becomes one with its source, that is pure consciousness. When the mind (ego) is extroverted, thoughts and things appear. When the mind (ego) is introverted, the mind (ego) becomes one with pure consciousness. The attitude that we have a mind (ego) and we have to destroy it, is wrong. We think that thought arises from the mind (ego); it is not so. Thought is the mind (ego). If there is no thought, there is no mind (ego). If we do not look closely it appears to be there. If one looks for it, it is found not to exist. A series of uninterrupted identifications with nonself makes us feel the mind (ego) as an existential entity. When we earnestly try to find the source of the contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea", we will realise that the mind (ego) is just a concept, a non-existential thing. We will existentially know this as true enquiry progresses. In true enquiry, the mind (ego) tastes the bliss of pure consciousness, so the mind (ego) naturally cooperates with enquiry. If one persistently clings fast to self-attention, all tendencies are destroyed. Till all tendencies towards sense objects are annihilated, "who-am-I" enquiry is necessary. If one resorts to uninterrupted remembrance of self, until one attains self, that alone is sufficient. Positing ourselves in the source of contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea" is true enquiry. Real enquiry begins when we cling to self, and already off the mental movement. Self-enquiry is a tool which facilitates redirecting the attention from objects, thoughts and sense perception to the perceiving of them. The answer to the quest of "Who am I" is not to be found in or by the mind (ego) since the only real answer is the experience of the absence of the mind (ego). When this positing is permanent, there is no identity with nonself, so there is annihilation of volition (Sankalpa) and doubting (Vikalpa) Character of the mind (ego). This is called annihilation of the

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mind (ego) or manonasa, in which we are free from the illusion that we are bound to nonself. This is the aim of true enquiry.

SELF-ENQUIRY-PART II

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Even though, by nature, we are pure conscious beings, the need for "who-am-I-enquiry" has arisen because we are deeply rooted in identity, with the body, through the contaminated "Iam-the -body-idea". Enquiry is into the entity which aligns to the body. When this alignment to the body is revealed to us as nonexistential, false, then truth is revealed in all its glory. When the quest for truth is sincere, truth reveals itself. Till the quest reaches the effortless stage, we should pursue the enquiry with effort. Because the ego with reflected consciousness is under the illusion that it has aligned itself with the body, everything looks topsy-turvy for a human being. When the illusory state of "I-amthe -body-idea" is not there, our natural state is revealed to us. One-pointed mind is possible only for those who are mentally strong. Strong mind means a free mind which is free from ideas, beliefs, dogmas, status, scholarship, etc. Such a mind is capable of doing true enquiry, and enquiry is a cake-walk for them. The mind becomes a separative agency (Bheda Buddhi) when it is associated with the ego. Destruction of the ego means destruction of volition (Sankalpa) and doubting (Vikalpa) character of the mind in religious jargon. When the mind is free of the ego, such a mind immediately becomes one with its source, that is pure consciousness.

A mind which is empty of belief and dogma acts with awareness.

The seer and the seen in the relative world, are a fabrication of the mind, however real they look. Separateness (Bheda Bhranti) is only a mental creation, a hypothesis; that is why it disappears with true enquiry The hypothesis of separateness (Bheda Buddhi) is the root of our personality. So personality (ego) is also a hypothesis, a fabrication of the mind. Living with the ego is a phase in the eternal journey of the individual. When we live with the ego and act from that psychological centre, there is duality, with misery as its consequence. As enquiry progresses we come to an 63

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understanding that everything has its source in pure consciousness. When the mind posits in pure consciousness, there is no conflict in daily life, whatsoever. This is our natural, pristine state. Worry of bondage and liberation is illusory, so it is nullified by true enquiry. There is no set pattern for self-enquiry. The function of the mind is to interact with the outside world. With a process of recognition, after recognising it and storing it as an experience in the memory cells of the brain, further action takes place from that memory. The mind is acquisitive in nature. Even with the relationship with others which is life, the mind applies the same process of recognition and experience, storing the experiences as memory and acting from that memory through thought. So in the relationship with others, which is a living, dynamic moment-tomoment thing, we are acting from memory, that is from the past accumulated experiences. So we are facing a problem in the present, which is always new when it interacts with past experiences. This type of encountering the present situation with past experiences, interferes with our understanding of the present problem, which is always new. This is the crux of the problem in our daily life. We have to face the present with a free and young mind that is free of the past, free of ideas, dogmas, beliefs etc. Then, such a mind can see the actuality in all its nudity, without any distortion. If the past interferes in our observation there is always distortion in the observation. Unless the process of recognition, experience, memory and acting from the memory is nullified when we relate ourselves with others, truth is not revealed.

The ego is not a static thing; some experiences are added to it; some are deleted from it; so it is a dynamic process. So in enquiry, we are observing a living thing, so we must always be in a state of observation, during enquiry. So enquiry is a living thing, that is why there is no set pattern to enquiry. A set pattern is possible only for the inert things. The ways of the ego are revealed only in relationship with others. We must always be vigilant when we relate to others and relationship is life. So we are observing life. Knowing the ways of the mind, in the mirror of relationship with others moment to moment is enquiry. Unless we know the ways of the ego, there is no possibility of transformation in us. When truth is not revealed to us, there is no right relationship with others, resulting in conflict or misery. Truth is revealed only to a virtuous individual. Virtuousness cannot be cultivated by the mind.

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To understand one’s mind, one should love it. When we condemn it, the mind does not reveal itself. By loving the mind, we should observe, the ways of the mind. When we observe sincerely, without any interference of thought, there is the stilling of the function of thought, that is ego. Such a mind is creative, moment to moment. When there is the freedom from ego, there is creativity. When we have complete understanding of how ego functions, then only there is creativity. 65

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When the mind due to the presence of tendencies, appears to be separated from pure consciousness and extroverted, such a mind aligns itself to the body, and so it has attractions of the world. Then ignorance prevails in all its might. In such a state of mind because of too much movement of the dynamic aspect of the mind due to the movement of tendencies there is apparent distortion to the consciousness aspect of the mind, i.e. reflected consciousness and so we lack the knowledge that we are selfeffulgent conscious beings. Consciousness, existence, bliss and peace are instrinsic to the conscious aspect of the mind, i.e. reflected consciousness of the mind. There are two extraordinary powers prevailing in the mind. One is veiling (Avarana dosha) and the other projected multiplicity (Vikshepa dosha). Because of the veiling power of the mind, the nature of the conscious aspect of the mind is veiled. Because the nature of the conscious aspect is veiled, the mind forgets its oneness with the absolute truth. Then because of the power of multiplicity, the mind sees illusory multiplicity externally. So the extroverted mind is not aware of its oneness with its own conscious being and so there is no bliss and there is no peace. But it knows that it exists. The state of the mind in which there is no bliss is misery (Dukha). So misery is intrinsic to the extroverted mind. Occasionally the extroverted mind enjoys pleasure when things happen in its favour, then there is temporary cessation of thought (manolaya). In the absence of thought, the mind is withdrawn into causal body (Anandamaya kosa) and enjoys the pleasure of the absence of thoughts. The pleasure which is the result of the absence of thought is a negative one. From this state of pleasure, the mind gets extroverted at anytime, and again it is miserable. When we question to whom is the misery there is an answer that it is to "me". Then we should enquire who is this "me". Only because of this "me" the

mind leaves its source, gets extroverted and becomes miserable and is in a continuous state of conflict due to the duality that is inherent in the extroverted mind. The entity which feels misery and conflict is the entity which aligns and identifies with the body i.e. "I-am-the -body-idea". The quest for the source of this "me" (whence am I) and the enquiry into the nature of "me" (who am I) is real enquiry. Repeating "who am I" mechanically as mantra is not enquiry. Contemplating on "me" is not enquiry. We have to delve deep into our own being and we have to find the source of the contaminated "I-am-the -body-idea". When the quest is sincere we can hold on to the source without the interference of thought. Sincere quest for truth leads us there. Enquiry is easy for the still mind. In the starting phase of enquiry we have the feeling that enquirer is different from enquiry. Till this feeling disappears we have to go on doing enquiry. To experience the unintermittent awareness is the goal of the enquiry. Then the awareness reveals itself in a pure and simple manner. Self - enquiry is always associated with the awareness. We cannot do the enquiry without the awareness. "I-am-the -bodyidea" and personality derive their energy from the awareness. There is no break in awareness even when we work. First "I-amthe -body-idea" is born. Then only we see the cosmos (Sristi). So if we enquire into the entity who sees the cosmos and find its source, naturally we find the source of the cosmos also. The awareness that is present in the mind observes the way of thoughts that are present in the thinker. When thoughts are observed by the awareness of still mind, thoughts become one with awareness and become consciousness. When we observe respiration there is cessation of respiration leading to a thoughtless state. So in enquiry there is no duality. As true enquiry progresses and thoughts are under observation, there is a reduction of thought-flow and finally thought stops forever by merging in its source. Such a mind is completely filled with reflected consciousness and is peaceful. There is an experience of being in which the individuality has temporarily ceased to operate. Repeated experience of this state of being weakens

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SELF-ENQUIRY - PART III The Quest for the source of the "me" (Whence am I) and the enquiry into the nature of the "me" (who am I) is real enquiry

and destroys tendencies which cause the "I" thought to rise, and when their hold has been sufficiently weakened, the power of the self called Atmakara-Vritti (mental mode of self-knowledge in which self-knowledge dominates the mind rather than tendencies) destroys the residual tendencies so completely that the "I" thought never rises again. This is the final irreversible stage of self-realisation. Reflected consciousness shows the way to pure consciousness and the merging of reflected consciousness in pure consciousness in awareness is real union, that is, it is the "Samadhi" state of the mind. If this state persists without any break it is called the "Sahaja Samadhi". When the mind posits itself in pure consciousness there is complete action without any residue of nonunderstanding. When we act from that centre, which is called the spiritual Heart then there is no conflict, no misery and there is no pursuit to possess external things and there is no pain and misery. There is no trace of the ego in that state of the mind. We are aware that pure consciousness which has extraordinary depth, is doing all the activities through us. Then we are immersed in bliss, which is not of this world.

SELF-ENQUIRY - PART IV Action born out of unawareness results in ego.

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The ego superimposes the movements of the body and the mind on itself. It claims that it is the doer of the work done by the mind and the body. This is a wrong assumption. When there is an intense flow of attractions from an extroverted mind to the outside world, there is the illusory feeling that "I-am-the-body-idea" is a reality. It looks real because of a series of uninterrupted attractions of the mind to the events in the outside world. When there are no attractions whatsoever to the mind, "I-am-the-bodyidea" becomes pure and merges in pure consciousness, then even a trace of the ego is not to be found. When the reality is veiled by the veiling power of the mind, "I-am-the-body-idea" is contaminated by the dynamic (Rajoguna) and Inert (Tamas) characters of the mind, then the unreality or nonself appears real. So when there is the contamination of the "I-am-the-body-idea", there is wrong perception and because of the wrong perception of things, we live a very disordered life. So it is the goal of true enquiry to remove this entity, which attaches itself to the body with enormous attractions to the outside world. Because the existence of "I-am-the-body-idea" depends upon its attachment to the body and the world, attachment to them should be nullified through true enquiry then, "I-am-the-body-idea" becomes pure. The aligning agency has no locus standi, that is, it does not exist on its own, but its existence depends on attachment to the body, and so the world. We should always keep our awareness on "I-am-thebody-idea", then it will be revealed, that the "I-am-the-body-idea" is illusory, a fabrication of the mind. This is true enquiry. When "I-am-the-body-idea" is not associated, not aligned to anything, including the body, it becomes pure, and it merges in its source, i.e. pure consciousness. In contemplation (dhyana) and yoga, this illusory "I-am-the-body-idea" is allowed to continue, kept intact, and it is not isolated from attachment, and alignment to the body and the world. Such spiritual disciplines encourage the continuation of the false "I".

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When we have the capacity to keep our awareness only on the false "I", without being distracted by the events of the outside world, then it is a sign of progress in enquiry. Enquiry is done in our inner being, by the conscious aspect of the mind, about the entity which attaches itself to the body and the world. Enquiry is not done outside of us. So we are the centre of enquiry. There is nothing external (different) to this centre. That centre is not an object for contemplation. The quest to know where the "I-amthe-body-idea" arises is true enquiry. To know the source of "Iam-the-body-idea" is true enquiry. Imagining a heart centre and contemplating on it is not enquiry. If the quest is sincere, the heart (spiritual) centre is revealed in all its glory. We have to search for the entity, which attaches itself to the body. During churning, the conscious aspect which is present in the false "I", is separated from the dynamic aspect. The conscious aspect of the false "I" shows us the way to pure consciousness. Contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea" is ignorance; when we search for its source, and touch the source, the ignorance disappears. While doing enquiry, we don't need any notions about our natural state. The natural state exists as it should be. We should do away with the attractions to the outside world. We should try with all our energy available to know the source of "I-am-the-body-idea". It is not observing one part of the mind with another part of the mind. So enquiry is basically not intellectual. It is a sincere quest in our inner being. Neti-Neti (I am not this, I am not that) is an intellectual activity, which could not take us beyond the mind which is a product of ignorance. The "I" thought is sustained in such intellectual acts of discrimination, and the "I" which eliminates the body and the mind as "not I" can never eliminate itself. After the rise of the "I" thought, there is identification of the "I" with the body, the senses and the mind. The "I" is wrongly associated with them and the true "I" is lost sight of. In order to sift the pure "I", from the contaminated "I", this discarding neti-neti method is mentioned. It does not mean discarding of nonself. It means the finding of the real self. The aim of neti, neti is to divert the attention from nonself and focus the attention on the "I" thought. When

we trace back the source of the "I" thought, self alone will remain. Aham is known to everyone as "I am". Brahman abides in everyone as real "I" (amness). We have to find out that real "I" (amness) which is already Brahman. The text of "I-am-Brahman" is not meant for thinking mechanically as "I-am- Brahman" (Iam-the-god-state). Such thinking is just a mental affirmation which sustains the false "I". Self can never be discovered by affirmation or negation because both are products of ignorance. To say that I am not this, I am not that, there must be one entity. That entity is the false "I". It is an aligning agency, which attaches itself to the body, but it has no locus standi and is not tangible. That entity knots (chit-jada grandhi) pure consciousness with the body. When we are unaware of it, it brings us a lot of misery. While doing enquiry, if we do not experience peace, we should know that we are doing enquiry with the mind. The mind is a bundle of thoughts, so how has thought the capacity to destroy the mind?. In enquiry, there is a taste of pure consciousness to the mind, then the mind voluntarily cooperates in the enquiry, without any suppression, because it tastes the bliss of pure consciousness. So the mind merges in pure consciousness naturally, in true enquiry. In Yoga, great effort is made to unite the mind with pure consciousness.

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All mental tendencies are dependent on contaminated "Iam-the-body-idea". But "I-am-the-body-idea" is not dependent on them. So while searching for the source of the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", we go beyond all these tendencies. In enquiry we question the very existence of the contaminated "l-amthe-body-idea". In that process, the conscious aspect which is present in the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", shows us the way to pure consciousness. When we are capable of existing purely, without any thought, the contaminated "I-am-the-bodyidea" falls, by itself. When we are vigilant of the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea", its tendency towards the sense-objects (Vishaya Vasana) is destroyed. When its identifying tendency is not there, pure consciousness reveals itself. The false " I" is dependent on name and form; but once enquiry starts, it takes to its

feet. When we start "who-am-I"enquiry, there is an entity asking "who am I". The enquiry is about the existence of that "I". Investigation on "I" is the point, not the meditation on an imagined spiritual heart centre. Meditation on the heart centre is a mental activity. There is no need to know with the mind where and what heart is. It will do its work if you engage in the quest for the self. That from which all thoughts of embodied beings issue forth is called the spiritual heart. One can be aware of the heart centre and its real nature only by being it. When self is consciously experienced there is tangible awareness that the heart centre is the source of the mind and the body. To see the spiritual heart, it is enough that the mind is turned towards it. Then the mind loses itself and the heart shines forth. Holding on to the state "I am", is enquiry. When it is effortless we are released from the ego. True enquiry is a blemishless, nonillusory quest. There is freedom for us without any bonds of methods and disciplines. The ego subsides naturally in enquiry. If we suppress the ego, though it subsides for the time being, it starts again its activities aggressively with vengeance. In the other ways of finding the truth, the false "I" is kept intact and it is used as an instrument for the realisation of truth. The false "I" is not destroyed in such ways. We have to observe the false "I" summarily. The false "I" is like a hurricane light useful to see the things in the darkness. It is not required to show the "Sun" which is self-effulgent. Just turning our face towards the "Sun" is enough to see the "Sun". When pure consciousness is focussed through the mind, reflected consciousness arises and is useful to see the things in the darkness of self-ignorance. This focussed reflected consciousness is not required to see the self-effulgent pure consciousness. Just turning the mind towards pure consciousness is enough. Non-attraction towards nonself results in turning the mind towards pure consciousness (Antarmukha, Inward turned mind). When we see a dangerous precipice we act immediately without the interference of thought. So also seeing the danger of the ego when we relate with others, we act in the form of observation by the still mind and in that 73

action of passive awareness the whole structure of the ego evaporates. To go beyond the identifying agency i.e. "I-am-the-bodyidea", the only way available to us is to be vigilant, and to keep our attention on "I-am-the-body-idea". We go beyond the cycle of birth and death (Samsara) when pure consciousness is revealed to us, through enquiry. When we search for the identity of the ego through the enquiry, the ego is destroyed because it has no locus standi and pure consciousness is revealed. This is a direct path. In any other method, the false "I" is kept intact and after doing spiritual discipline for so many years, doubts arise and the question "to whom is the doubt" starts. We feel that something is veiling our natural state, and if we enquire the identifying agency, that is the false "I", it will be revealed that the false "I" is nonexistent, illusory, and the truth, i.e., pure consciousness is revealed. Thought takes us away from our source which is pure consciousness. Again we fix our attention on the false "I"; initially it starts with an effort of the mind. Later the experiencing of "I am" happens, without any effort on our part. Then there is no ego, no identifying entity, no effort. But again the ego shows its ugly head, because the tendencies towards sense-objects (vishaya vasanas) have been recurring down the ages, rise in countless numbers like the waves of the ocean, they will all perish as meditation on one's nature becomes more and more intense. Then there is no contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea". Our attention must be fixed on the source of the mind. We should abide there. No effort is needed to exist as the consciousness. But effort is needed to identify with "not I" (Anatma). To think that we are so and so, needs effort, because thinking is effort. To exist as the pure being effort and imagination are not required. When we cling to the first thought, i.e. "I-am-the-body-idea", other thoughts are reduced. When we are vigilant and watch that thought, the rush of thoughts is reduced. When we posit ourselves very deeply in our being, there is no possibility of effort. With the inward turned mind, 74

vasanas (tendencies) are destroyed and the mind merges in pure consciousness. Quest to know the source of "I-am-the-body-idea" is imperative. Holding on to the source of "I-am-the-body-idea" is knowledge (Atma Jnana), non-attraction to the sense objects is dispassion (Vairagya). Positing the mind in pure consciousness is enquiry. As enquiry progresses our attitude towards the others, events or sense objects is completely transformed. Even when we are preoccupied in work, the awareness that we are rooted in pure consciousness is not disturbed. pure consciousness acts through us. Action from the ego centre is not there, unlike previously. The unassociated consciousness, is conscious of itself and its oneness with the absolute truth. Then pure consciousness reveals to us very clearly. This is the fruit of the real enquiry.

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SELF ENQUIRY - PART V When we posit ourselves in the source of the mind, there is an experience of absence of the mind (naiva manasam) The mind-mechanism (Antahkarana) is a subtle matter which works in the presence of reflected consciousness. The false "I" arises from the state of self-ignorance (causal body). So the false "I" arises in the dark state of lack of self-knowledge. The mindmechanism (Antahkarana) moves and performs various works like thinking, memorising and reasoning by the energy derived from reflected consciousness. So the mind mechanism although inert (Jada) intrinsically, move with the help of reflected consciousness. The false "I", in association with the three gunas, that is composure (Sattwa), dynamism (Rajas), inertia (Tamas), thinks that it is the body, and assumes that it is experiencing and it is the source of all extroverted activities. When there is no association of the false "I" with nonself, it experiences happiness which is due to lack of thought disturbance. The source of this thoughtfree state's happiness is Anandamaya Kosa or the causal body. Such happiness is intrinsic to deep sleep (Sushupti), a modification of the mind. The false "I", which arises in the darkness of the lack of self-knowledge thinks that it is the body, and the world is apart from it. This is called the illusion of separative knowledge (Bheda Buddhi) which is the cause of duality. When there is the illusion of duality, there is conflict and misery. When the ego identifies with the body, it is limited and it works in such a way, that there is always an eye on the fruit of the work. When the work is done with a motive, with an eye on the fruit of the work, the doer is born. Otherwise there is no doer. So the sense of doership is a concept, it is not an existential reality. With the limited existence with the body there is always a feeling of insufficiency, insecurity, emptiness, nothingness, fear, violence, anger, greed, ambition, possessiveness, sorrow, pain etc. This is a fact. Thought, being limited and has limited capacity to understand all these

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psychological problems, imagines the opposite states (dualities or antinomies) and in that process the doer is born. When there is journey from a fact to an imaginary idea, opposing thoughts appear in the mind. Seeing the transiency of life, thought imagines permanency in truth and pursues it. This pursuit of truth is a mental activity. Truth is always a unitary one, so how is it possible that the individual is apart from truth?. So we should enquire the about the nature of the entity which is pursuing truth. Otherwise we may fall into illusions, and follow the persons who have no self-knowledge. Not to know the facts is ignorance. When we study a physical thing, first we perceive it, there is the contact, there is the sensation through the nervous system, then thought makes this sensation into experience, and the experience is stored in the memory cells of the brain and when required we act from those memories, and act accordingly. This process, as J. Krishna Moorthi says is useful when we deal with the pure physical world. But we are using the same process in our relationship with others also, who are living beings. Something is always deleted, or something is added to the egos, every moment in the case of the living. It is a dynamic process, it is not in static state like the pure physical things. We must always be aware of the ego, which is ever changing, moment to moment. For this the uncontaminated awareness of the still mind is required. The awareness in the still mind is not contaminated by thought, feeling or emotion. The still mind happens to us when we pay complete attention to anything. In the still state of mind, the problem reveals itself to the awareness. We need not interfere with the problem. In the very revelation of the problem in all its complexity, there is the solution of it. So on the psychological plane, nondoing with the passive awareness results in complete action, in which there is no residue of the nonunderstanding of the problem. Then we can encounter another psychological problem in a similar way. In such a way we are more enriched and mature psychologically. If we allow the past memories of relationship, to interfere with the present, we are again giving life to the dead memories, and there is the continuation of the false "1", and so 77

there is the continuation of conflict in relationships, resulting in misery. When past memories or thought does not interfere and contaminate present relationships, there is freedom in that relationship and there is complete understanding. At present our relationship with others is based on mutual usage and selfcentredness, which leads us to self-isolation. If the relationship gratifies us it continues; when it is not so, the relationship is broken immediately. This is an obvious fact. At present we are encountering problems with some fixed ideas, written in a scripture, or stated by spiritual masters. So knowingly or unknowingly we are encountering a living present with the dead past. This is a very sorry state of affairs. Is there release from all these?. Thought assumes that it is the thinker, and it thinks that it is different from the other thoughts like anger, greed, ambition, desire, arrogance, pomp, sorrow and conflict. All these are the result of lack of right relationship and a combination of all these is called the thinker. The thinker is a conditioned entity. This thinker tries to correct all these psychological anomalies. In this process there is further complication of all these anomalies. If there is the interference of thought (thinker) in psychological relationship, there is always the contamination of relationship. Thought (thinker) should understand this. When there is such an understanding, thought (thinker) subsides, when we relate to others. Thought (thinker) acts when we are expected to act in the physical world. So the action of thought (thinker) is required when we deal with the physical things, and the stilling of thought with the passive awareness is required when we relate with others. So thought (thinker) is very vital in the physical dimension, and thought (thinker) is actually an obstruction when we relate to others. This is very important; one has to be vigilant of this fact always, so that in physical dimension we use thought and in psychological dimension earnestly attending to the problem we will have the still mind with the passive awareness which is free of the past. This is the skill one has to learn who is on the path of "Who am I"? quest. Unless we have free, and still mind 78

we cannot perceive the thinker. The thinker is the cause of all our psychological problems. The so called mental disciplines encouraged by all organised religions strengthen the false "I" (thinker) through suppression, domination, imitation and conformity. If we condemn the ego it will not be revealed only in the mirror of relationships, activities of the ego are revealed. So we must always be aware of the egoistic tendencies when we relate ourselves to others. This awareness requires a still and passive mind. The ego, the main problem of humanity, tells its story in detail, to the passive awarenss of the still mind. But we don’t have the art of non-doing. When we go so easily after other things belonging to nonself, which are alien to us how can it be difficult for us to go into our own selves. The moment we start looking for self and go deeper and deeper real self is waiting there to take us and all doubts and discussions are automatically given up. Psychologically we should not be acquisitive in nature, when we relate with others. The still mind is filled with love. That love is the panacea for all our psychological problems. In such a state of mind, we are Unitary Being. There is no relic of personality in that state of mind.

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SELF-ENQUIRY - PART VI With self-enquiry we shall know the living truth. An attempt to reach truth through mental activity is the very denial of truth. When the mind-mechanism (Antahkarana) is not aware of reflected consciousness, it identifies itself with the body, through "I-am-the-body-idea" which sees the world as though it is outside of it, because of the illusion of separative feeling (Bheda Buddhi) which is there due to the darkness of self-ignorance. The duality "I" and "thou" is due to this illusive separative entity. It is called "chitjadagrandhi". In Sanskrit, Chit means consciousness, jada means insentient, grandhi means knot. It is the root, from which the tree of personality develops. Enquiry is into the identity with nonself. Because of identity with the body, man thinks of nonself as the real entity, and pure consciousness just a concept for him. He is not aware of his pure conscious being. Till this illusive separative feeling is there, all our understanding is topsy-turvy. In the Jiva state (individual self) of life, living with the illusive separateness, is a stage. We have to go beyond that, through the enquiry into the separative entity. The illusion of bondage (Bandha Bhranthi) and the illusion of release (Moksha Bhranthi) are both concepts of the mind. We should enquire into the essential nature of the entity who thinks that he is in bondage crying for release from that bondage, then that entity disappears and pure consciousness reveals itself. We should not forget that we are pure conscious beings, even when we are in a difficult situation either mentally or physically. We must hold on to pure consciousness in all the three modifications of the mind, that is waking state, dreaming state and deep sleep state. In the waking state, our knowledge is relative and objective. This is wrong knowledge (viparita). In the mind there is the veiling power (Avarana) and the power of multiplicity (Vikshepa), the veiling power veils reflected consciousness only (Abhasa) but not pure consciousness (Suddha Chaitanyam). Once reflected conscious80

ness is veiled, the power of multiplicity enters into the scene, and shows the veiled thing as multiple entity. The knowledge that comes out of such power is wrong knowledge due to wrong perception. This is illusory knowledge. So all relative knowledge in the waking state is illusory in nature i.e. pure consciousness is perceived in an altered form in the form of the world. By holding on to Sattwa guna (composure of mind) we should get rid of the identity with nonself. In the quest for pure consciousness, mind is found to be nonexistent (Naiva Manasam, Marga arjavat). Consciousness is the source of energy for the movement of the false "I". We must divert our attention from nonself to the conscious aspect of the false "I". The union of "pure ego" with pure consciousness in the conscious state is enquiry (Vicharana). Tendencies are the cause for the cycle of birth and death of the false "I". When we continuously remember pure conscious state and continuously contemplate on it, in the fire of consciousness even the seeds of tendencies are destroyed forever with destruction of volition and doubting character of the mind (Sankalpa-VikalpaDharma). This is manonasa (Annihilation of the ego). No agency is required to know pure consciousness, because it is self- effulgent. The triad-the known, the knower and the knowing which are essential in the relative knowledge, is not required in self-enquiry because pure consciousness is self-effulgent. The nature of our being is veiled by thought-matter. Thought arises because of illusive separative feeling. The separative feeling is there because of identification with the body. If we enquire into the existence of the entity which is identifying with the body, it is found to be nonexistent and we are free from the concept of "I-am-the-body-idea". When the illusion of separative feeling subsides there is the revelation of a living pulsation "I am" "I am" on the right side of the chest (Aham-Sphurana) which appears first in waking state, later reveals itself in dream state and deep sleep state. Aham-sphurana is the forestate of manifested consciousness. Aham-sphurana means living "I amness" experience. Pure 81

"amness" is Brahman. The false "I" is then in the pure state between the two modes of mind. If we can hold on to that pure state, the consciousness which supports that pure state is revealed to us. The false "I", unless it holds to the next state of mind, does not leave the previous state. But during this process of changing from one state to another, we should seek the interval between the two states. In that interval we can hold on to the pure conscious aspect of the false "I". We can know this pure conscious aspect when the false "I" is yet to identify with nonself. When the quest for the self is real, the self is definitely revealed. When the identity with nonself is found to be nonexistent, pure consciousness reveals itself. When there is not even a trace of the contaminated "I-am-the-body-idea" pure consciousness is revealed. When there are no thoughts, the mind is one pointed, (Eka Chintana) strong, and has the capacity to do true enquiry. When enquiry progresses and when the waking state is revealed in pure consciousness, there is no attraction to the nonself. Every being wants bliss only. Everybody likes himself, because of his liking towards Sukha (Bliss). This bliss does not require any entity like the mind or the body to reveal itself. Glimpses of this bliss, we experience daily in deep sleep, when the false "I" detaches itself from the body including sense organs. When the mind is inactive in deep sleep, we are in a unitary state. If we have no concept of "l-am-the-body-idea" in the waking state, we can be in the same state. In deep sleep tendencies are inactive. In "Samadhi" (Union of the mind with pure consciousness) there are no tendencies. In both the states the world is not perceived. For a unitary blissful state, thought-free state is inherent. With thought cessation, blissful state reveals itself easily. Thoughts take us away from the blissful state. During the state of the experiencing of bliss, there is no experiencer. The enquiry is into the entity that thinks that it is limited. We have to enquire to whom is the limitation. If there is no concept of "I", there is no limitation. For example there is no 82

such concept in deep sleep state and the "Samadhi" state and there is no limitation in those states.

ing mind. Not to leave self is real knowledge (Atma Jnana). Positing the mind in self is enquiry.

When the mind in ignorance is extroverted and identifies itself with the body, the world is perceived and thoughts begin to appear. When reflected consciousness identifies itself with nonself, then only there is the appearance of the world. Just as there are light and iron in a hot iron ball, there is reflected consciousness and the world in Jiva (Individual self). Reflected consciousness is intrinsic to Jiva, he forgets when he has identified himself with the body. This is ignorance. This identity is nullified with true enquiry. When reflected consciousness is identified with nonself, there is the concept of false ‘I". Such fabricated false "I" sees a fabricated world.

The false "I" is dissociated from the body in deep sleep and we are extremely happy in deep sleep. So the body is not our essential nature. We are experiencing and living happily in deep sleep even without our mind functioning actively. So the mind is not our essential nature. In deep sleep we are happy, but we are not aware of it and that nonawareness is ignorance. But in the waking state, we know that we are conscious beings. Ignorance is not our essential nature. The false "I" arises from an ignorant state. So it cannot be our real nature.

Just as the tree is in the seed in a subtle form, the world has its being in the mind. The tendencies are the root for the existence of Jiva. Jiva is not destroyed by physical death. At the right time, tendencies sprout, and this is called the rebirth of Jiva. When the mind with subtle tendencies moves through the brain and sense organs, the world of name and form is perceived. Individuality, world and God are concepts arising after the concept of "I-amthe-body-idea". The seen has its being in the seer.

When we negate nonself existentially through self-enquiry, pure consciousness reveals itself in all its grandeur. This is the fruit of true enquiry. Om Sri Ramanarpana Mastu.

As true enquiry progresses, respiration is naturally controlled, and life-force (Prana) merges in consciousness and there may be the happening of cessation of respiration without any effort on our part (Kevala Kumbhaka). The mind is like a rider and the life-force (Prana) is like a horse. So when the mind stops consciously, respiration may also stop. Reflected consciousness in the mind is by nature a witnessing consciousness. So there is duality in this state, whereas there is no duality in the pure conscious state of being. We have to continue enquiry till all tendencies are set to rest. Even though, everybody is a conscious being, he is not aware of it because ignorance of the nature of his being is prevailing. So the destruction of ignorance is our aim. We have to do enquiry in a state of passive awareness, but not with the actively function-

SRI CHAKRA

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