What Is Self

What Is Self-Esteem? When parents and teachers of young children talk about the need for good self-esteem, they usually mean that children should have "good feelings" about themselves. With young children, self-esteem refers to the extent to which they expect to be accepted and valued by the adults and peers who are important to them. Children with a healthy sense of self-esteem feel that the important adults in their lives accept them, care about them, and would go out of their way to ensure that they are safe and well. They feel that those adults would be upset if anything happened to them and would miss them if they were separated. Children with low selfesteem, on the other hand, feel that the important adults and peers in their lives do not accept them, do not care about them very much, and would not go out of their way to ensure their safety and well-being. During their early years, young children's self-esteem is based largely on their perceptions of how the important adults in their lives judge them. The extent to which children believe they have the characteristics valued by the important adults and peers in their lives figures greatly in the development of self-esteem. For example, in families and communities that value athletic ability highly, children who excel in athletics are likely to have a high level of self-esteem, whereas children who are less athletic or who are criticized as being physically inept or clumsy are likely to suffer from low self-esteem. Families, communities, and ethnic and cultural groups vary in the criteria on which self-esteem is based. For example, some groups may emphasize physical appearance, and some may evaluate boys and girls differently. Stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination are also factors that may contribute to low self-esteem among children.

How Can We Help Children Develop a Healthy Sense of Self-Esteem? The foundations of self-esteem are laid early in life when infants develop attachments with the adults who are responsible for them. When adults readily respond to their cries and smiles, babies learn to feel loved and valued. Children come to feel loved and accepted by being loved and accepted by people they look up to. As young children learn to trust their parents and others who care for them to satisfy their basic needs, they gradually feel wanted, valued, and loved. Self-esteem is also related to children's feelings of belonging to a group and being able to adequately function in their group. When toddlers become preschoolers, for example, they are expected to control their impulses and adopt the rules of the family and community in which they are growing. Successfully adjusting to these groups helps to strengthen feelings of belonging to them. One point to make is that young children are unlikely to have their self-esteem strengthened from excessive praise or flattery. On the contrary, it may raise some doubts in children; many children can see through flattery and may even dismiss an adult who heaps on praise as a poor source of support--one who is not very believable. The following points may be helpful in strengthening and supporting a healthy sense of self-esteem in your child: As they grow, children become increasingly sensitive to the evaluations of their peers. You and your child's teachers can help your child learn to build healthy relationships with his or her peers. When children develop stronger ties with their peers in school or around the neighborhood, they may begin to evaluate themselves differently from the way they were taught at home. You can help your child by being clear about your own values and keeping the lines of communication open about experiences outside the home. Children do not acquire self-esteem at once nor do they always feel good about themselves in every situation. A child may feel self-confident and accepted at home but not around the neighborhood or in a preschool class. Furthermore, as children interact with their peers or learn to function in school or some other place, they may feel accepted and liked one moment and feel different the next. You can help in these instances by reassuring your child that you support and accept him or her even while others do not. A child's sense of self-worth is more likely to deepen when adults respond to the child's interests and efforts with appreciation rather than just praise. For example, if your child shows interest in something you are doing, you might include the child in the activity. Or if the child shows interest in an animal in the garden, you might help the child find more information about it. In this way, you respond positively to your child's interest by treating it seriously. Flattery and praise, on the contrary, distract children from the topics they are interested in. Children may develop a habit of showing interest in a topic just to receive flattery. Young children are more likely to benefit from tasks and activities that offer a real challenge than from those that are merely frivolous or fun. For example, you can involve your child in chores around the house, such as preparing meals or caring for pets, that stretch his or her abilities and give your child a sense of accomplishment. Self-esteem is most likely to be fostered when children are esteemed by the adults who are important to them. To esteem children means to treat them respectfully, ask their views and opinions, take their views and opinions seriously, and give them meaningful and realistic feedback.

You can help your child develop and maintain healthy self-esteem by helping him or her cope with defeats, rather than emphasizing constant successes and triumphs. During times of disappointment or crisis, your child's weakened self-esteem can be strengthened when you let the child know that your love and support remain unchanged. When the crisis has passed, you can help your child reflect on what went wrong. The next time a crisis occurs, your child can use the knowledge gained from overcoming past difficulties to help cope with a new crisis. A child's sense of self-worth and self-confidence is not likely to deepen when adults deny that life has its ups and downs. Back to the Table of Contents

Conclusion Parents can play an important role in strengthening children's self-esteem by treating them respectfully, taking their views and opinions seriously, and expressing appreciation to them. Above all, parents must keep in mind that selfesteem is an important part of every child's development. How to By Peter Murphy

Build

Self

Esteem

in

Children

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Ads by GoogleParenting rEvolution Maximize your child's abilities for a highly competitive world PowerEssence.comTreat Self Esteem Issues Treat rejection/self esteem issues. Want love, money & happiness? www.skinny-rich-and-happy.comPositive Parenting Skills Quickly learn easy-to-use, positive and proven parenting skills today! www.coach-parenting.comTeach Critical Thinking Shown to raise critical thinking scores by more than 3 grade levels! www.theseus.bizLack of Self Confidence? Would you like to feel more sure of yourself? Free Ebook Ron Hubbard www.twth.org.ukDevelop Self Discipline Change Your Inner Self Now Bring The Focus Back. Order Now! MountainSagePublishing.com/BooksImprove your self esteem Free self help resources for you to become happier & more confident. person-enter-self-help-resource.comDownloadable Books 2,000+ printable books, lesson plans, worksheets & assessments www.readinga-z.comHow to sell successfully Wealth of free content, ideas, news specially for sales professionals www.salespotentiator.comHow to be a Good Leader Build effective leadership skills to achieve success in life and work www.mentoringandcoaching.comAdvertise on this Site Every parent has to learn how to build self esteem in their child. You might think that children do not have a problem with low self esteem but some of them do and that someone could easily be your child. How does one build self esteem in their child? You may rely on the following steps to guide you through the process: 1. It is important to foster a sense of connection with the child to improve his sense of self worth. Parents who do not take the time to talk to their child in loving terms and even cradling their child will find that their child will most likely have low self-esteem as a result. To solve this problem, you should set aside time for bonding with your child - this sends the message to your child that he is worth your while. 2. Create opportunities for your child to participate in family, school, and community activities. When he is allowed to be involved in these groups, he is made to feel like he belongs which drives up his self esteem.

3. Direct teaching, guided practice and modeling are ways for your child to learn appropriate conversational and social skills early in life. This is important so that he can learn how to work and live with other people. 4. Sharing with your child anecdotes about the elders and ancestors of his family, and try to make him feel proud of his heritage and nationality. This gives him a sense that his lineage is a valuable part of him. 5. Look for every opportunity to make your child feel that he is a unique person by showing him that he possesses special qualities and talents that make him stand out among his peers. Every child wants to feel that he is not a run-of-the-mill person, that he was made differently in some way. 6. Allow your child to develop his own ways of expressing himself. Respect any thoughts and feelings that he may eventually express - these make up a valuable part of his personality. 7. Permit your child to satisfy his curiosity, imagination, and creativity through daily learning experiences. Even if you have to guide him through such experiences, it is important that he take the initiative to learn about the world around him. This sets the foundation for more advanced learning opportunities in the future when he is an independent adult. 8. Nurture a sense of power in your child by giving him opportunities to succeed in his many fields of endeavor. This may mean taking a step back sometimes and letting him reach his goals on his own, but it will be worth it because your child will gain more self-confidence as a result. 9. Let your child take responsibility for certain tasks in the family. Even a mundane chore like taking out the garbage bin everyday will contribute to his sense of responsibility. 10. The child should have a chance to practice any new skills he learns. Your child should learn to analyze why he fails at a certain task, and how he can change the outcome next time. This entails setting doable standards for himself so that he has the opportunity to succeed. 11. Skills in problem solving and decision making can be inculcated in your child at an early age. He must learn how to prioritize, anticipate consequences, and determine the right plan of action for any project he undertakes. 12. Be a good role model to your child - remember, children learn by copying the behavior of other people, particularly their immediate elders. If you dictate one mode of behavior but act in another way, that just confuses the child. 13. Impart a stable value system in your child so that he will be able to discern right from wrong even at a young age. All these tips should help you learn how to build self esteem in your child. If you want to achieve anything in life you need a good amount of self confidence. In order to succeed at anything you need a realistic self image. But in order to have either of these you need a good degree of self esteem. Do you know what it is and how to get it? Self esteem begins with a positive self-image. This involves holding a balanced yet loving, approving and healthy self-view. Having said that, this character trait is neither arrogance nor is it narcissistic self-love. True self esteem gives us a balanced realistic appreciation for our own talents. It allows us honest introspection of our strengths and a complete acceptance of our human limitations. High self esteem is a reflection of the true value in which you hold yourself. It also frees you from any overtly polarized view of others and how you perceive they think of you. Those people who display traits of high self-esteem have a very strong sense of who they are. They know who they are and what they want. They have a realistic world view of others and themselves. Their self-image is positive but also very rational. However, do not think that people with high self esteem always feel great and proud of themselves. Self esteem is about having a balanced view of yourself. Even people with high self esteem make mistakes and do things that they later regret. The key difference with these people is that they recover quickly make the changes they need to make, apologize for their behaviour where necessary and learn from the experience. Individuals who have developed a healthy degree of self-esteem are able to use these situations as a form of feedback and learn from them. It is alright to feel bad about their behaviour and make atonement for it but they do not let it effect their entire sense of identity nor do they carry it with them as emotional baggage. If you are rude or aggressive with a person it doesn't mean you are a terrible person or should be punished in some way. People with high self esteem are aware of this. These people are capable to taking full responsibility for their behaviour, admitting that it was undesirable. They will then try to make the situation "right" before they learn from it and put it behind them. They do not see themselves as bad people, just a good person that made a bad mistake. However, people with low self esteem tend to pile blame on themselves and think themselves unworthy and unlovable because they are "so bad" and "so unworthy and worthless". They think because they have behaved badly it is a reflection of the total person they are when, in fact, it is only one portion of the complex personality they have. People with high self-esteem have a well-rounded view of themselves. They mostly know their own weaknesses and faults. However, because they know this they can either accept that this is a part of who they are or they can change the thing about themselves that they find undesirable. People with high self esteem can do

this relatively easily because they don't see a change in one aspect of their character as an assault on their whole personality! So they can still have self criticism but also have high self-esteem at the same time. A key to being in this mental and emotional state is to avoid generalising about mistakes made by ourselves and others, recognising that our weaknesses are part of who we are, while recognising that some of our behaviour can be changed without it affecting our sense of identity! So start to see yourself as those who love you see you. Ask them what they think. Ask them to be realistic and to point out your good characteristics. Then take stock of yourself and start to believe in yourself. You can develop the skills needed to be critical of yourself, in order to learn and grow, while at the same time realizing that you are a unique, special, loving yet slightly flawed child of the Universe. You are wonderful. Accept that! Personal Development - is a site that tests & reviews personal development products for growth. Check out the self esteem hypnosis recordings. Self Improvement - tests & reviews the best self improvement products on the web. We find what works so you don't have to! Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_McGrath aug 25,2007 High self-esteem improves your confidence Most agree that we need to develop high and healthy self esteem or confidence. It should be obvious why, but nevertheless it is worth mentioning what an improved self confidence can do for your life, your well being, your relationships and your happiness. So what does self confidence or esteem mean?

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Confidence means more tolerance and respect for others you are confident enough to accept responsibility for your actions self confidence or esteem mean that you have integrity if you are confident you'll take pride in your accomplishments self confidence means self motivated you are confident enough to take risks if you trust yourself you are able to handle criticism from others you love and trust in yourself, which make you more loving and lovable to others when you have a high self belief you will seek the challenge and stimulation that's needed to set and achieve worthwhile and demanding goals self confidence means that you can take command and control of your life.

The term self confidence or esteem however, has been hampered by misconceptions and confusion over it's real meaning. Some have equated self confidence with egotism, arrogance, or even a trait leading to violence. This is in fact a mis-conception. Real, healthy self confidence has nothing to do these negative attrubutes. They rather seem to be defensive reactions to the lack of real confidence. People with low self confidence typically focus on trying to prove themselves or impress others. Therefore they tend to use others for their own gain. This is leading us to the question; is it possible to have too much self confidence or esteem? Since having high confidence is equivalent to having good health, I don’t believe that it is possible to have too much real self confidence. A major characteristic of people with high self confidence is that they are well grounded in reality and balanced between an equal sense of worth and competence. You don't have to be anything but yourself. And that makes you and the people you love happy. Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, how to improve your self esteem and happiness in relationships. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Terje_Ellingsen How to raise self-esteem One of the most important parts of maintaining good health is having strong, positive self esteem. Remember, you're a really great person. Don't let others get you down. There are many things that are unique and special about you. Do you have any special skills or talents? Write them down and whenever you feel depressed, review your list. This will greatly boost your self esteem. With that said, here's how to raise self esteem quickly and easily: First, figure out what you perceive to be your weaknesses and fix them. Do you feel like you don't have enough skills or you aren't special? Find something that you'd like to learn and practice it over and over again. Want to learn how to bowl? Find your local bowling alley and start practicing. Don't worry about what other people think. Want to learn how to improve your writing? Sit down with a couple of good books and analyze the writing style, and then start writing anything that

comes to mind. You can do this quickly and easily for as many skills as you'd like. One of the biggest secrets about how to raise self esteem is learning to see what is hurting you. Many people who have low self esteem have poor friends who insult them and hurt them. Is this the case with you? Do your friends lower your self esteem? If so, get out there and start making new friends. It's a lot easier than it sounds. Most people will be flattered if you sit next to them in public and start chatting. And if you "fail" - that is, they aren't interested - move on to someone else. It happens to the best of us! Another key about how to raise self esteem is discovering what you're good at and improving it even more. Very few of us consider ourselves to be "masters" at any particular trait or skill, but very good at a lot of things. So, write out another list and figure out what you're truly good at and improve it even more! Hopefully these quick suggestions will show you how to raise self esteem. If you implement this advice whenever you're feeling down, you should see positive results in just a short time. Joe Robinson is the author of Self Esteem Self Help, a website that reveals several secrets about dramatically improving your self esteem. In addition, he offers a free report about boosting your self esteem with little to no effort! Go to http://self-esteem-self-help.com/freereport.html and download it for free. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joe_Robinson Is self-esteem an obstacle Keeping youfrom traveling the road to success? Failure is not what people want. People want success! I have found this to be true after delivering hundreds of presentations and speeches. Yet, if this is true, then simply speaking: Why isn't there more success? What obstacle or obstacles is keeping you from traveling the road to success? Again, after working with young people to established executives, I have come to realize that self esteem is sometimes the biggest obstacle to personal success, professional success and business success. Self esteem is how we view ourselves or our own self image. When we look into the mirror, what do we see? Are we internally happy with what we see? Do we wish we could change one small thing or a lot of small things? All of these thoughts are reflections of our self esteem. The phrase self esteem has only been around since 1965 when Rosenberg described self esteem as a favorable or unfavorable attitude toward the self. Since attitudes have been defined by some as habits of thought, this really puts self esteem as something that each individual can control. Years ago when our society was agrian in nature, individuals truly understood that it wasn't their looks that got them to where they wanted to go, but rather goals, attitudes and self leadership skills. With this trio combination, self esteem was always being developed. Many immigrants had incredibly high levels of self esteem even if they did not know it. They crossed oceans, traveled wildernesses and established homesteads in uninhabitable countryside. Their self thoughts were more about how to keep the food on the table, keep the children safe and put some money way for the future as they traveled the road to success. Today, people have far too much time on their hands and lack what many of these now gone pioneers had. These individuals had Goals, Attitudes and Self Leadership Skills. My grandmother, Hilma, was a prime example of an immigrant with all three of these critical success factors. After working in America as a teenager, she had the goal to return from her home country of Sweden and have one child born in this country. Upon leaving Ellis Island and moving to northern Wisconsin, she learned that she was pregnant at the age of 42. My father was her only child to be born in this country. Hilma had an incredible attitude. She could cook something literally out of nothing. Her dining room table was always ready for a weary friend or stranger. And given that all of her pastries and food was delivered via a wood burning stove is a testimony to her powerful attitudes. Finally, she had the self leadership skills to always be moving forward on the Road to Success. She had learned English during her earlier visits and then taught English to my grandfather, Conrad. Not only could she speak English, but she could write it as well. Upon my grandfather's death, she stayed several years on the farm in the northern woods of Wisconsin. She cut her own wood, heated her own bath water from the rain barrel and grew much of her own food. I believe she would have stayed on the farm year round if her children had not had fears about the bad winter storms and her being so isolated from town. Was my grandmother ever concerned about her self esteem? I truly do not think so. Her skills from cooking to sewing to making people truly feel comfortable were always more important. Hilma truly understood that you control your self image and no one can make you feel bad. Only you have that power unless of course you give it to someone else. Maybe that is what self esteem today has become. Individuals giving away their personal power to others in hopes to feel better about themselves. Maybe that is why there is so much victim mentality in today's world where there truly should not be any. As far as I am concerned, I am OK with my self image because I have goals, attitudes and the self leadership skills to help me as I walk the Road to Success.

If you want more information about Goals, Attitudes and Self Leadership, you may be interested in Three Missing Pieces of Organizational & Personal Success. Visit http://www.processspecialist.com/e-books.htm to learn more about this combination e book and e work book. Call me, Leanne Hoagland-Smith, The Business Coach, at 219.759.5601 or visit at http://www.processspecialist.com to explore everything from how my solutions double results to articles and resources including the Simply Speaking series. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leanne_Hoagland-Smith Why self-esteem matters?

A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK’s top IT companies -- a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with people who didn’t meet often -- the most senior managers from a number of divisions. There were very few middle tier managers in the room, almost exclusively senior managers who were accustomed to being ‘top dog’. The atmosphere in that room was almost tangible. I wanted to bottle the air and analyse it later -- I had never experienced such naked power, and it dawned on me in that moment that we are almost blind to the status signals we transmit. That meeting was an epiphany, and led to me becoming a hypnotherapist with a particular interest in researching confidence and self esteem. Because what I discovered in that company, and in many companies I have assisted subsequently, was the startling fact that an individual’s self-esteem is a reliable indicator of how far they will progress in the organisation. Some technical geniuses can buck the trend, but they are very rare. For most of us, our ability to influence decisionmaking is precisely limited by our self esteem. Why does this matter? It matters because the person with the greatest self esteem is not necessarily the right person to be making the key decisions. We have all suffered foolish bosses. Perhaps we have all wondered how on earth they reached such positions of seniority, given their obvious shortcomings. If you will excuse the bluntness: that incompetent boss is there because you haven’t yet been sufficiently convincing. Your performance is perhaps the least important aspect on which you will be judged; what matters is your status in the group. Status is a fascinating topic. We communicate our status constantly, primarily through body language and voice tone. This communication is unconscious; it is felt rather than known or consciously controlled. The way in which you behave reflects your self perception of status. This is either accepted or challenged by the people around you. A dominant person (relative to you) will cause you to back off from a challenge. A submissive person (again, relative to your own status) will make it easy for you to project your will. For a fuller discussion of this topic, please visit http://www.confidenceclub.net/content/statusconfidence.php. And so we come to the nub. We should all seek to develop our self esteem, not because of the personal benefits which will flow from this personal growth -career enhancement, improved love life etc -- but because we have a duty to ourselves and our communities. Until and unless we step up to the plate, our communities will remain vulnerable to an almost random process of leader selection. So ask yourself: ‘Am I allowing less talented people to make decisions on my behalf?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, then perhaps you should consider stepping up to the plate yourself. The first step in this process is building up your own self confidence and self esteem. Don’t be bashful; there’s nothing selfish about developing your own qualities. A community with a rich selection of potential leaders is, in my view, a secure community. Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence development and stress management. He may be contacted via his Confidence Club website http://www.confidenceclub.net Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jim_SullivanWhy Self Esteem Matters." EzineArticles 16 March 2005. 01 September 2007 Personal identity – key to high self-esteem If you want to achieve anything in life you need a good amount of self confidence. In order to succeed at anything you need a realistic self image. But in order to have either of these you need a good degree of self esteem. Do you know what it is and how to get it? Self esteem begins with a positive self-image. This involves holding a balanced yet loving, approving and healthy self-view. Having said that, this character trait is neither arrogance nor is it narcissistic self-love. True self esteem gives us a balanced realistic appreciation for our own talents. It allows us honest introspection of our strengths and a complete acceptance of our human limitations. High self esteem is a reflection of the true value in which you hold yourself. It also frees you from any overtly polarized view of others and how you perceive they think of you. Those people who display traits of high self-esteem have a very strong sense of who they are. They know who they are and what they want. They have a realistic world view of others and themselves. Their self-image is positive but also very rational. However, do not think that people with high self esteem always feel great and proud of themselves. Self esteem is about having a balanced view of yourself. Even people with high self esteem make mistakes and do things that they later regret. The key difference with these people is that they recover quickly make the changes they need to make, apologize for their behaviour where necessary and learn from the experience. Individuals who have developed a healthy degree of self-esteem are able to use these situations as a form of feedback and learn from them. It is alright to feel bad about their behaviour and make atonement for it but they do not let it effect their entire sense of identity nor do they carry it with them as emotional baggage.

If you are rude or aggressive with a person it doesn't mean you are a terrible person or should be punished in some way. People with high self esteem are aware of this. These people are capable to taking full responsibility for their behaviour, admitting that it was undesirable. They will then try to make the situation "right" before they learn from it and put it behind them. They do not see themselves as bad people, just a good person that made a bad mistake. However, people with low self esteem tend to pile blame on themselves and think themselves unworthy and unlovable because they are "so bad" and "so unworthy and worthless". They think because they have behaved badly it is a reflection of the total person they are when, in fact, it is only one portion of the complex personality they have. People with high self-esteem have a well-rounded view of themselves. They mostly know their own weaknesses and faults. However, because they know this they can either accept that this is a part of who they are or they can change the thing about themselves that they find undesirable. People with high self esteem can do this relatively easily because they don't see a change in one aspect of their character as an assault on their whole personality! So they can still have self criticism but also have high self-esteem at the same time. A key to being in this mental and emotional state is to avoid generalising about mistakes made by ourselves and others, recognising that our weaknesses are part of who we are, while recognising that some of our behaviour can be changed without it affecting our sense of identity! So start to see yourself as those who love you see you. Ask them what they think. Ask them to be realistic and to point out your good characteristics. Then take stock of yourself and start to believe in yourself. You can develop the skills needed to be critical of yourself, in order to learn and grow, while at the same time realizing that you are a unique, special, loving yet slightly flawed child of the Universe. You are wonderful. Accept that! Personal Development - is a site that tests & reviews personal development products for growth. Check out the self esteem hypnosis recordings. Self Improvement - tests & reviews the best self improvement products on the web. We find what works so you don't have to! Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_McGrath 2007 5 ways to develop the self-esteem of your children I have been profoundly blessed with three sons. They are almost all grown up, and it makes me absolutely miserable to think that in a few years I won’t have my three big guys around the home forever and that saddens my heart. I’m very close with my sons because I have had the most wonderful opportunity to home educate them. My sons have never stepped foot in a public school. They are still virgins; they don’t cuss, smoke, drink, or do drugs of any kind. They are polite, respectful, intelligent, and honest young men. Did you know that in general home-educated children have better self-images? If your child is home schooled there is no bullying going on, no drugs being offered, no bad crowds, no sexual temptations, and no peer pressure for them to contend to. It’s great! Here are five ways to develop your child’s self esteem. 1. Home Educate: If your child is home educated he becomes what it is he is! His character is allowed to develop in its natural way, without the consequence of another’s identity confusing him or her from mounting peer pressure. If your child is home educated his individual personality will come from his environment in the home so it is very important that this environment be well supported and preserved by the parents by being good examples. Did you know that by the age of 14 most girls in school are pressured to have sex? Isn’t it also true that there are condom dispensers in the public school hallways? It is absolutely incredible the pressure our children are subjected to every single day! Drugs, bad attitudes, liars, cheaters, rapists, scammers, and murderers abound in the schools. Isn’t this reason enough for you to take control of your child’s life? 2. Parents have confidence in their abilities: If a parent lacks self-confidence to teach their children at home they will probably feel uneasy about home schooling and not do anything about it. I felt uneasy teaching my sons at first too, but I knew that it was the right thing to do for them and our family. I was right. And you will be right too. Did you know that with the right encouragement and positive affirmations the home-educated child can achieve anything and everything his heart desires? He will not have an attitude problem, low self-worth, sexual temptations, or addictions standing in his way. Ask any mother or dad who home-schools. It doesn’t take a college degree to teach your children the basics of learning Math, Science, and English. What is does take though is a parent who wants to see their child become all that they can become in life! What I’m saying is ANYONE can teach his or her child at home. You can teach your child in one day what it takes the public school system in a month! Home education is much more then having your nose in a textbook though. It is about giving your child what most children don’t get in public school, self worth! Parents can give their children the excellent self-image that is missing in society today by taking the time to teach, encourage, and praise their child’s efforts. Parents can be the promoter and supporter of what their child becomes in life. You can educate your child at home and become a better person/parent because of it.

You really can! 3. Do not compare your children with other children: This is what happens in public school every single day. Peer pressure is comparing. It is a measuring-up system that sizes up each and every child and then assigns him or her a category or label. These labels are jock, goat-roper, pothead, stoner, geek, druggie, nerd, bully, whore, and the list goes on. Young minds that are still learning and growing will do things they shouldn’t just so they can be accepted into the group and label of their choice. The good news is if our children our home educated none of this garbage exists. 4. Praise and encouragement: This goes without saying that we parents are the encourager for our children. We should know and seek out our child’s endeavors and praise them for the accomplishments he or she does, big or small. It means so much to a child when a busy parent takes the time to reassure, praise, and encourage. It can raise a child’s self esteem ten-fold and give them a positive attitude in life. We build our children’s self-confidence by being in tune with what they are all about. Who are they? By walking with them we are allowing our child to become what it is they are instead of what we want him to become. A parent’s support actually tells the child how much they are valued for who they are in life. 5. Positive reinforcement: We have to reinforce what we say and do by being consistent with what we say and do. This is the strengthening support that will establish the level of self worth in our child and what he or she does with that self worth. Whether they want to be a teacher, scientist, fireman, doctor, or archeologist, the support from us when he is young will give him the encouragement to meet his goals, ambitions, and aspirations in his life. ~~ Angie Lewis offers spiritual enlightenment tips for couples in marriage, and is the author of JOURNEY ON THE ROADS LESS TRAVELED. This unique book is about love, life, marriage, children, addiction, temptation, and understanding the power of spiritual awareness for your marriage. In her book, Angie reveals her own journey of overcoming addiction and battling with her negative emotions that she allowed to embrace her life and marriage. To find out more about this book click here, http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com/ ISBN 1413788904 Avaliable Amazon online! Angie Lewis counsels couples and writes a monthly newsletter where she reveals her secrets on how YOU can stay happily married for life! Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can stay happily and forever married! http://www.heavenministries.com/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angie_Lewis Self-esteem : universal law The Law of Stuart Smalley Genuinely strong self-eteem has nothing to do with the Stuart Smalley character on "Saturday Night Live." Smalley was played by talk-show host A1 Franken who looked in the mirror to tell himself "You're good enough,you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you." This is not the kind of namby-pamby-feel-good self-esteem we're talking about. The Law of Definition Self-esteem is one of those frequently used terms that we believe we know the meaning of until we are asked to define it. Most folks define it as the way you feel about yourself. The problem is feelings can, and often do, change. The definition I have found most useful of self-esteem is: the strength and power of your belief in your self. The Law of Ends vs. Means While working on increasing your self-esteem, remember it's just a means to an end, not the end in and of itself. I've known lots of unsuccessful people, and even people who continually do the wrong thing, and yet they feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is merely a means to the end if increasing the quality of life, for

yourself and those around you. The Law of Company Self-esteem is strongly influenced by the company you keep. Hang around people with weak self-esteem and yours is likely to be weak as well. And guess what? Hang around people with strong self-esteem, and yours is likely to strengthen as well. The Law of Blame and Accuse I've heard so many people say "My self-esteem is low because I'm too this/that, I grew up without this/that and this/that has happened to me." Which usually leads me to wonder what does a person who is too this/that, grew up without this/that, and has had this/that happen to them, DO WITH THE REST OF HIS OR HER LIFE? The Law of Action You can learn about self-esteem, read about it, go to seminars, etc., and nothing will change if you don't do something with what you learn. In order to change something, you simply must TAKE ACTION! The law of NWBG While NWBG may sound like the name of a rock group, it's really a fast and easy way to measure and mprove your self-esteem. In vertical order, write the letters NWBG, vhich stand for Now-Worst-Best-Goal. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is the worst and 10 is the best) rate your self-esteem the way it is Now, the Worst it has ever been, the Best it has ever been, and the Goal you would like it to be. This gives you a number next to each of the letters NWBG. If you are like most folks, Now is higher the Worst. This gives us some important information: How did you get from the worst to where you are now? The answers can be key for further strengthening your selfesteem. The Law of Higher Math Now we will do a little higher math in order to strengthen your self-esteem. Take the number for your Goal (let's say 10) and subtract from it the number for now (let's say 4), so it's 6. So that's six levels of selfesteem to travel, which is too big a chunk all at once. Let's make it manageable by taking one level at a time. What small, simple steps can you begin to take immediately to move you from a four to a five? And then a 5 to a 6, a 6 to a 7, and so on. In this way you can measure your progress as you go, and rather quickly strengthen your self-esteem. How's that for progress? Visit The Internet Article Guy for more leading edge tips and tools for writing articles that bring you prospects, publicity and profits. You can also subscirbe to our monthly Article Empire Tips Newsletter. You are also invited to visit my Express-Start Article Writing Program for more information on the next article writing tele-seminar. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Herring Rate your self-esteem Negative self talk is the best way to keep your self esteem on the low end of whatever scale you use. Many people give themselves messages throughout each day that they are a loser, stupid, foolish, inadequate. You may add your own words. If a parent said those things to a child regularly, what chance would that child have of a good sense of themself, in other words, good self esteem? Think of yourself as your own child. Everyone makes mistakes; some days just feel down and everything goes wrong. The secret is to know that the YOU inside is always good, intelligent, caring, talented, lovable and worthwhile. Add your own words to this list and replace your negative self talk with these words. Don't base your opinion of yourself on the things that don't work well on any given day. Love and acceptance of yourself unconditionally is the secret to having self esteem. At the same time devote yourself to personal growth and improvement. As a bonus, develop the ability to laugh at yourself; If you learn to do these things, not only will you have good self esteem, but others will find you much more pleasant to be around. They may even follow your example.

Dr. Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D. is principal of Next Level Business and Professional Coaching. She coaches Professionals and Business Partners. You can purchase her ebook or soft cover editions of Stop Doing What You Hate…Start Doing What You Love at http://www.StartDoingWhatYouLove.com. Contact Dr. Lehavi at [email protected] or on the web at http://www.CoachingforYourNextLevel.com and sign up for her free newsletter, Mastering Your Next Level. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorene_Lehavi Stress & Self Esteem: By Tanja Gardner

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In our article about Exercise & Stress, we looked at the way these two factors form a self-reinforcing cycle that can work for us. With stress and self-esteem, however, the relationship is negative – both in the technical sense of the words (i.e. as one increases, the other decreases, and vice versa), and in its ultimate result upon the person concerned. Study after study has found that increasing someone’s self-esteem will reduce the amount of stress they experience. The jury is still out, however, about whether increasing someone’s chronic stress (without giving them time to relax and recharge) will reduce their self-esteem levels. There’s anecdotal evidence that, if you start with high self esteem, stress doesn’t seem to affect it. If your self-esteem levels start out low, however, stress will often reduce them even further. So what’s going on here? Why does the relationship between stress and self-esteem work the way it does? Part of it is probably just logic and semantics. Selfesteem is the level of regard or value we have for ourselves – and it’s a complex thing. It encompasses how we feel about ourselves, the image we have of ourselves, and what we believe we are and aren’t capable of. If we define stress as ‘our reaction to encountering a situation that requires us to adapt further than we believe we can currently cope with’, it makes sense that anything that increases the level of ‘what we believe we are capable of’ will therefore reduce our stress. Part of it is also about what we will and won’t accept in our lives. If my self-esteem is high, I’m less likely to just tolerate things I find stressful. Instead, chances are I’ll do something about them – either find out how to fix them or avoid them – simply because I believe I deserve better than to have to suffer them. So from this point of view, the relationship isn’t just a matter of semantics. In a very real way, higher self-esteem *causes* behaviours that reduce stress. The question then becomes, if we know that raising our self-esteem is going to help us manage our stress, what do we do to boost it? How do we go about building our self-esteem to the level that we’re in the optimum state possible to manage all those daily stressors *before* they start to ‘stress us out’? As with every self-help topic, there are many theories – some more complex than others. One of the simplest and most ‘user friendly’ models we’ve found was suggested by the Counselling & Mental Health Centre at the University of Texas. This proposes three basic steps for improving self-esteem: 1. Rebutting your Inner Critic – dealing with that inner voice that constantly tells you that you ‘can’t do it’ 2. Practicing nurturing yourself – keeping up your own mental and physical resources 3. Getting help from other people – knowing who you can turn to for help when working alone isn’t enough Although this model suggests sequential steps (i.e. you’d need to deal with your Inner Critic before you began to nurture yourself), there’s no reason why you can’t work on some – or all – of them at the same time. So, for example, you could use the help of a coach while you experimented with different ways of nurturing yourself, without having paid any conscious attention whatsoever to your Inner Critic yet. Because everyone is different, the right combinations and sequence for one person aren’t necessarily going to be the right ones for another. Irrespective of order, however, we need to understand each step individually if the model is going to be any use in helping us raise self-esteem levels. The remaining articles in this series will explore each step in detail, starting with next issue’s article, which will examine exactly what our Inner Critic is, and some of the most useful ways of dealing with it. Until then, may every day bring you closer to living your optimum life! Copyright 2005 Tanja Gardner

Self-esteem If you have looked through the sections on self-image, you'll be aware of the close relationship between self-image and self-esteem. Importance of self-esteem The high position of esteem needs in Maslow's hierarchy of needs reflects the importance accorded by him to self-esteem in our quality of life. Without high selfesteem, we cannot, according to Maslow, proceed to realize our full potential ('self-actualization'). Equally, this importance is reflected in the work of the other

great humanist psychologist, Carl Rogers, who was concerned to afford his clients unconditional positive regard. In his view this is a fundamental human need. Before you can accept yourself, you need to see that others accept you. The components of self-esteem Mirror self To a very large extent, our knowledge of who we are comes from the feedback we gain from others (the self as I believe others see mein Dimbleby's and Burton's model). If we frequently experience negative feedback, our self-esteem will suffer. This is elegantly demonstrated in a study by Gergen, in which students were interviewed by a graduate student. During the interview, they were asked to evaluate themselves at various points. When they evaluated themselves positively, they received subtle positive feedback; when they evaluated themselves negatively, the interviewer remained silent. Throughout the interview their self-esteem increased steadily, in comparison with a control group which was not subjected to similar discriminating feedback. (Gergen, undated). This, incidentally, raises interesting questions about the conception most of us have that we are individual, autonomous selves. To what extent can we maintain that we have some kind of 'core self', when it transpires that our notion of our self is so greatly constructed by the communication we have with others? The post-structuralist or postmodern position on this is generally that the whole concept of the bourgeois individual subject was a myth. For further comment on this, see the section on the 'decentred subject'. Rôle models and reference groups We are of course selective in who we gain feedback from. We will tend to frequent people who give us the feedback we seek and avoid those who don't (though there is evidence that we don't necessarily always seek positive feedback, sensible though that would be - see below). If people I think are wallies see me as a wally, that's no skin off my nose. But if people I value see me as a wally, that's likely to dent my self-esteem. Such people are likely to be rôle models or members of my reference groups. We actively make comparisons between our performance and theirs. Whether we choose to compare ourselves with people who are slightly better or slightly worse at something than we are can have a significant influence on our self-esteem. Significant others Some theorists also refer to rôle models as significant others, though some see a significant other as a person who plays a major rôle in our lives but whom we don't necessarily wish to emulate (unlike a rôle model). Thus, for example, we may see significant others as our teachers, our parents or our bosses. We may not like them much, but since the behaviours we engage in are so frequently judged by them, they are an important source of feedback on our performance and can therefore have a serious influence on our self-esteem. Effects of self-esteem Our self-esteem affects our behaviour, our understanding of how the world works and where we fit into it and our communication performance. Self-esteem and the 'locus of control' People whose self-esteem is low will tend to explain any successes they have by attributing them to luck rather than to their own abilities. People with high selfesteem will tend to attribute their successes to qualities within themselves. The psychologist Julian Rotter noted that some people believe they are autonomous. They believe that they are in control of their lives and take responsibility for what happens to them. They believe, in other words, that the locus of control is internal to them and not external. There is evidence that it is stressful for people to believe that they have no control over their lives (that the locus of control is external to them). It doesn't matter much what is objectively the case, what they believe is what matters and what people believe is often pretty weird! For instance, the sociologist Langer allowed people to choose their own numbers in a lottery; others were allocated numbers at random The winning number was of course chosen at random, but those who had been allowed to choose their own numbers believed they had a significantly better chance of winning. They felt a lot more positive about the lottery than the other group - totally irrational, but at least it made them feel good. Schultz conducted a study of old people in a home. Some were permitted to choose their own visiting times; the others were told when visitors were allowed. Those who could choose enjoyed better morale and physical health. Another study of old people going to live in a home asked them how much choice they felt they had about going to live there. Those who felt they had freedom of choice actually lived longer than those who didn't. Thus a person whose self-esteem is low will tend to feel that what happens to them is beyond their control, even any successes they have. Schultz's study suggests that that belief is likely to have a major effect on their mental and physical health. It might, for example, in part explain the higher suicide rate amongst the unemployed. It also probably offers an explanation of the success of extremist political groups in times of high unemployment, since Hovland found that people

with low self-esteem are more easily persuaded than those with low self-esteem. One should, however, not imagine that it is simply the illusion of control or of its lack which is always important here. Those people who are at the mercy of arbitrary authority and are unable to express their anger and frustration are the most likely to suffer high blood pressure across the social spectrum. Not surprisingly, since those lowest in the social pecking order will most probably be in such a position, black males in the USA have been ound to have higher blood pressure than white males. (Harburg et al. (1973)) Self-esteem and the 'self-fulfilling prophecy' The notion of the self-fulfilling prophecy is part of the accepted wisdom in Communication Studies. It has been demonstrated by Swann and Read that, whatever our level of self-esteem we will tend to seek out feedback which confirms that level. Thus, in Swann's and Read's experiments people were put into groups where others wrote evaluations of them. Those people whose self-esteem was high spent most time reading the positive evaluations of them; those with low self-esteem spent most time on the negative evaluations. This feeds into the notion of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we don't think much of ourselves, we are likely actively to seek feedback which shows that others don't think much of us either. We are in fact likely to behave in such a way as to cause such feedback. If we don't think much of our abilities at, say, English, we're likely to write pretty rough English in exams simply because we lack the faith in our ability to produce better. Self-esteem and communication behaviour People with low self-esteem may well communicate less than those with high self-esteem. They will be unwilling to take risks in social encounters and are unlikely to appear confident, persuasive and convincing. They may well speak hesitantly and will often over-use the speech habits of the group which they seek approval from, for example frequently injecting 'like' or 'actually' into their speech. People with high self-esteem will speak confidently and fluently and will generally be willing to take the risk of admitting when they're wrong, which can contribute considerably to their persuasiveness. They will also be more willing to take the risk of self-disclosure (see the section on the Johari window), which can encourage people to 'spill the beans' to them in return. Self-esteem and overestimation Generally, people with healthy self-esteem will somewhat overestimate their good qualities when compared with other people's ratings of them. That's not a bad thing, since, as we have seen, self-esteem is related to mental and physical health. If you want to try this for yourself, there's an entertaining little exercise you can try, either with a friend or with a group of others, say in your Communication class: Self-esteem and self-serving bias Generally speaking, those who have 'healthy' self-esteem will tend to take the credit for positive behaviours or outcomes, but reject responsibility for negative ones. This is generally termed 'self-serving bias'. Self-serving bias seems to consist of two components:

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self-presentational forces: we need to present a positive image to other people, we need them to see us poaitively. Consequently we will tend to present to others the view that our positive achievements are to our credit and that any cock-ups are someone else's fault, or circumstances, 'chance', 'fate' etc. ego-defensive forces: we need to feel positive about ourselves, to protect our self-esteem, a kind of emotional self-grooming, polishing up our selfimage.

The evidence suggests that these needs are approximately equal. Whether they actually have the desired effect in persuading others of the accuracy of the image we have of ourselves is a moot point. Research by Carlston and Shovar (1983), quoted in Baron (1984)) seems to suggest that the self-serving bias is effective in persuading people we have a slightly higher ability than if the strategy is not adopted; on the other hand, it seems it may make us appear dishonest or immodest. Related Articles:

Consciousness Decentred self Personality Identity Counseling To Enhance Self-Esteem. ERIC Digest. Reading the newspapers, reviewing professional association conference programs or even watching TV sitcoms will quickly convey the impression that a person's self-esteem is a major determinant of what a person accomplishes and how fulfilled and rewarding a life he or she lives. As one teenager said, "You ain't nothin if you ain't got high self-esteem." This belief in the potency of self-esteem to affect how rewarding our life is, and how productive we are, has clearly been bought into by the public at large, and is a major target of new product development by commercial vendors. An educational publisher's recent catalogue offered twice the number of resources on self-esteem over any other topic. A recent ERIC database search identified over 5,000 journal articles where self-esteem was a major focus of the article. A person motivated to reach a clear understanding of what self-esteem is and how it can be increased may be puzzled by various definitions and prescriptions for raising it. This digest, therefore, is written with the intention of helping counselors to be a force for positive change in the self-esteem of their clients. WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM? Definitions of self-esteem vary considerably in both their breadth and psychological sophistication. From an intuitive sense we know that high self-esteem means that we appreciate ourselves and our inherent worth. More specifically, it means we have a positive attitude, we evaluate ourselves highly, we are convinced of our own abilities and we see ourselves as competent and powerful-in control of our own lives and able to do what we want. In addition, we compare ourselves favorably with others. We also know what it means to experience diminished self-esteem--self-depreciation, helplessness, powerlessness and depression (Mecca, Smelser & Vasconcellos, 1989). It also may help us in better understanding self-esteem to differentiate self-concept from self-esteem. Self-concept is the totality of a complex, organized and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence (Purkey, 1988). Self-esteem is focused upon feelings of personal worth and the level of satisfaction regarding one's self. Another approach to defining self-esteem is to identify the almost universally accepted components of self-esteem. They are: (1) a cognitive element, or the characterizing of self in descriptive terms, e.g., power, confidence; (2) an affective element or a degree of positiveness or negativeness, e.g., high or low self-esteem; and (3) an evaluative element related to some ideal standard, e.g., what a high school graduate should be able to do (Mecca, Smelser & Vasconcellos, 1989). Nathaniel Branden provides a particularly compelling view of self-esteem (Branden, 1990). He sees it as having two interrelated aspects: a sense of personal efficacy (self-efficacy) or confidence in a person's ability to think and act; and a sense of personal worth (self-respect) or an affirmative attitude towards a person's right to live and to be happy. In the most succinct terms, self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the challenges of life and to be deserving of happiness. WHY IS SELF-ESTEEM IMPORTANT? The importance of self-esteem can be considered from several perspectives. First, it is important to normal, psychological development. To adequately cope with the challenges of growing and developing, persons need to believe that they have the capacity to achieve what they need and want to and that they are deserving of happiness and joy in life. Lacking a belief in either of the above, they may be productive in an external sense, but are probably less effective and creative than they would be if they possessed high self-esteem. The effects of self-esteem may also be seen in career planning and decision making. For a person to make a nontraditional career choice, e.g., a female entering engineering, or to go against family desires or pressures requires someone to have a belief in their ability to make appropriate plans and decisions even though important others in their lifespace disagree with them. Registering for advanced placement classes or applying to a highly competitive college may also challenge the self-esteem of an individual. Most people can attest to having experienced times when they were on top, when they were at their "peak performance." These "peaks" in our performance curve illustrate that when people believe in themselves (have high self-efficacy) and believe they can accomplish almost anything, they are expressing a self-esteem which motivates, excites and empowers them. It is this expression of strong self-esteem at a critical juncture in their lives which can help a person to become more of what they are capable of becoming. It has also been suggested that high self-esteem imparts to a person an immunity to the downturns in the roller coaster of life. Rejections, disappointments and failure are a part of daily life. Life is not always fair or equitable and even our best efforts are not always successful. But high esteem can assist a person in "weathering the storm," to look beyond immediate downward dips. The current management literature is filled with descriptions of the type of people who will function well in our "information" society. Descriptions of these people are replete with statements regarding the need in an information age for workers who can make independent decisions, take risks, vigorously pursue new ideas and

untried approaches, and act on their own initiative. These traits are characteristic of persons with high self-esteem, of those who are confident of their abilities and gain pleasure from acting on them. These traits also assume an economic importance because they lead to more effective and productive employees. Organizations with productive employees are successful in the competitive marketplace and earn greater profits. SIGNIFICANT FINDINGS An analysis of the research and scholarly literature suggests a number of significant findings and generalizations about the importance and the effects of selfesteem upon youth and adults. Overall it would appear that self-esteem can be envisaged as a "social vaccine," a dimension of personality that empowers people and inoculates them against a wide spectrum of self-defeating and socially undesirable behavior (California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem, 1990). Among the more compelling generalizations to be made are the following: 1. The family is a strong force in the development of self-esteem. The early years are particularly important in establishing an "authentic and abiding self-esteem" in a person. 2. High parental self-esteem is crucial to the ability to nurture high self-esteem and personal effectiveness in children. 3. School climate plays an important role in the development of the self-esteem of students. Schools that target self-esteem as a major school goal appear to be "more successful academically as well as in developing healthy self-esteem among their students" (California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem, 1990, p. 5). 4. Self-esteem and achievement may be either the cause or the effect of each other, depending upon the person and the particular situation in which they function. 5. Young girls who possess positive self-esteem are less likely to become pregnant as teenagers. 6. Persons who hold themselves in high esteem are less likely to engage in destructive and self-destructive behavior including child abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and crime. 7. Exclusive attention to just self-esteem or personal achievement may well result in less favorable outcomes in either or both areas than when an approach is used which attends to both self-esteem and achievement. Walz and Bleuer (in press) in postulating the presence of an "esteem-achievement connection" emphasize the importance of presenting students with challenging experiences that enable the student to "earn" high esteem by successfully coping with difficult tasks. 8. The choice to esteem oneself or not is ultimately the responsibility of the individual no matter what the background and prior experiences of the individual may be. High self-esteem can never be given to a person by another person or society. It must be sought, "earned" by the individual for him or herself. 9. Self-esteem may be expressed as an overall generic characteristic, i.e., "she exhibits a high self-esteem" or as a more specific behavioral attribute, i.e., "he certainly has a high sense of self-esteem in tackling a difficult writing task, but he has absolutely no belief in his competence to do anything numerical." The experience of many counselors would favor a counseling intervention that explores a client's overall self-esteem (enhancing his/her generic self-esteem), but also focuses upon blockages which retard the expression of high self-esteem in specific areas. 10. Writers and researchers show general although by no means complete agreement on the preconditions necessary for someone to demonstrate high self-esteem. Among the commonly used terms are: security, connectedness, uniqueness, assertiveness, competence, and spirituality. ACTION STEPS FOR COUNSELORS Gaining greater knowledge and understanding of self-esteem can be beneficial to a counselor. However, to specifically impact upon a client's self-esteem requires greater focus and effort upon the part of the counselor. Six action steps are suggested as guides for how a counselor can intervene to assist clients in enhancing their own self-esteem. *Acknowledge that the self-esteem of a client is a vital determinant in his/her behavior and should be a major focus of the counseling relationship. *Explore with the client the meaning of self-esteem and how his/her self-esteem has impacted upon past behaviors and actions (and can influence present and future plans and decisions). *Assist the client in assessing the internal and external forces contributing to or retarding their self-esteem. Develop a personally meaningful profile of esteem builders and detractors. *Recognize that the self-esteem of the counselor has a stimulating or depressing effect upon the esteem of a client and that each needs to be aware of his/her selfesteem and its effect upon others. *Assist the client in designing a self-esteem enhancement program that is customized to her/his learning style and desired goals.

*Above all else, act upon the conviction that self-esteem is a disposition to know oneself as someone who is competent to cope with the realities and demands of life and as personally worthy of experiencing joy and happiness. Acting upon this conviction a counselor will then know that she/he can neither bestow nor induce self-esteem in another person. Through their efforts, however, counselors can assist a person to learn the processes by which they can examine the antecedents of their self-esteem, and take responsibility for thinking and acting in ways which will heighten their own self-esteem and hence their capacity to experience life confidently and joyously.