Prologue
As
I
sit
here
trembling
in
the
Tower
of
London,
my
mind
races
over
the
short
stages
of
my
life.
I
think
of
the
affairs
that
the
Archbishop
and
all
my
Protestant
enemies
use
to
turn
the
king,
my
husband,
against
me.
I
should
have
expected
this
as
I
am
dead
Queen
Anne’s
cousin,
but
I
was
young
and
foolish
when
I
became
Queen.
The
Duke
of
Norfolk
said
there
was
nothing
to
worry
about.
Oh,
if
he
knew
how
wrong
he
was!
Memories
turn
to
people,
whose
actions
reach
the
darkest
chambers
of
my
heart:
the
Duke
of
Norfolk,
whose
ambition
brought
me
to
the
crown
and
who
deserted
me
when
I
began
to
fall;
my
step
children
–
especially
Elizabeth
–
who
hear
news
of
another
execution
of
a
queen;
my
ladies,
who
have
not
deserted
me,
that
toss
restlessly
on
their
pallets;
Lady
Rochford
who
knows
all
my
secrets;
my
lovers,
Henry
Mannox
and
Francis
Dereham;
Thomas
Culpeper
whom
I
loved
more
then
anything;
and
most
of
all
the
King,
my
husband,
whom
I
hated
with
all
my
heart
and
who
loved
me
as
a
person
I
was
not,
an
unblemished,
innocent
child.
These
thoughts
echo
through
the
doomed
shadows
of
my
mind.
Tomorrow
I
will
walk
in
a
queen’s
robe
to
the
scaffold,
where
I
will
silently
go
to
my
death.
Like
my
cousin
Anne
Boleyn,
I
will
go
to
my
death
a
doomed
queen
with
my
head
held
high.
But
unlike
her
I
won’t
die
full
of
pride
about
being
the
queen.
I
will
die
humbly.
But
like
Anne
I
will
die
bravely.
I
will
die
leaving
behind
a
story,
the
story
of
Catherine
Howard.
2
Chapter One
Affairs
I
searched
for
my
cousin
Elizabeth
in
the
huge
crowd.
We
were
both
in
the
king’s
retinue,
going
to
see
the
new
queen
he
had
just
met.
I
had
not
seen
Elizabeth
for
a
long
time.
I
wanted
to
tell
her
of
my
brief
experience
with
Henry
Mannox,
my
music
teacher.
I
was
a
pretty,
little
young
lady
and
I
loved
romance.
I
finally
found
Elizabeth
sitting
on
a
stool
where
she
could
watch
the
procession.
“Why,
dearest
Catherine!
I’m
so
glad
to
see
you,”
said
Lizzy
in
one
of
her
grown‐up
airs.
“Lizzy,
I
have
so
much
to
tell
you!
Can
you
keep
a
secret?”
I
said
jumping
about
excitedly.
“Of
course,”
replied
Lizzy,
her
fair
hair
shining
like
gold
and
her
scarlet
gown
flowing
gracefully.
I
felt
a
little
jealous
of
her.
“Before
I
came
here
I
had
a
romance
with
Henry
Mannox.
Oh,
how
wonderful
it
was!
The
first
kiss!
Exhilarating,
really!
At
first
I
had
been
shocked
by
his
behavior
but
it
was
so
gallant
and
I
soon
could
hardly
wait
for
my
‘music’
lessons.
However
I’m
above
that
now.
He
was
good
enough
when
I
lived
in
the
country
but
not
anymore.
I
tossed
him
off
recently.”
3
When
I
had
finished
that
narrative,
I
slumped
down
on
the
stool.
“Look,
here
comes
the
King!”
said
Elizabeth,
and
we
rushed
to
our
places.
I
had
not
told
Elizabeth
about
Francis
Dereham,
the
dowager
Duchess
of
Norfolk’s
secretary.
He
was
a
handsome
young
man
and
when
he
had
sought
me
out,
I
welcomed
his
intentions.
He
had
called
me
‘wife’
and
I
had
called
him
‘husband’.
“Dearest
wife,”
he
had
said,
“I
will
be
away
next
week.
Can
you
be
a
good
wife
and
manage
my
pocket
book?”
I
had
embraced
him.
“Of
course,
husband,”
I
had
said
sweetly.
When
he
returned,
our
attachment
had
grown
stronger.
Meanwhile,
something
had
happened
between
Mary
(one
of
the
Dowager’s
wards
whom
I
was
deeply
jealous
of)
and
myself.
“You
waste
your
time
being
a
flirt
with
a
poor
man
of
no
title
and
I
am
the
King’s
mistress,”
she
had
gloated
one
morning.
“He
only
likes
you
because
you’re
sturdy
and
robust
and
it
would
be
easy
for
you
to
conceive
a
child.
This
makes
him
blind
to
how
hideous
you
are,”
I
had
said.
It
had
been
a
stupid
reply
for
Mary
was
fine
looking
and
delicate.
Later,
I
had
clung
to
Francis
Dereham
more
desperately.
The
moon
was
our
only
light,
though
I
should
not
say
only,
as
it
was
so
beautiful.
As
I
felt
his
large,
warm
arms
around
me,
I
thought
about
marrying
him.
I
could
have
many
more
nights
like
this.
The
next
day
Lady
Jane
had
appeared
and
told
me
that
the
dowager
wanted
me
in
the
drawing
room.
“Oh
no!”
I
had
thought,
“Mary
has
told
her
of
my
love
life!”
I
had
walked
trembling
to
the
drawing
room.
“Catherine,”
the
dowager
Duchess
of
Norfolk
had
said,
“I
have
got
you
a
position
as
a
maid‐of‐honor
to
Queen
Anne.
You
must
pack
your
bags
and
go
to
court.”
“Now
Mary
will
be
envious,”
I
had
thought.
“I
am
going
to
court
and
she
can’t
go
this
time!”
I
was
so
thrilled.
When
I
had
gotten
back
to
the
parlor,
I
had
exclaimed,
“I’m
going
to
the
court
as
a
maid‐of‐honor.
Mary,
maybe
you
can
go
next
time.”
Mary
had
had
a
very
jealous
look
on
her
face.
Good!
I
was
so
excited
and
so
determined
not
to
give
the
dowager
reason
to
send
a
different
girl
that
I
was
not
paying
any
attention
to
Francis
Dereham.
He
was
very
grumpy
about
it.
4
“I
am
going
to
Ireland,”
he
had
said,
utterly
surprising
me.
“You
won’t
be
gone
long?”
I
said
carelessly.
“I’m
afraid,
very
long,”
he
had
replied
angrily.
I
had
not
been
that
sad
about
his
leaving
as
I
was
getting
tired
of
how
ill
tempered
he
was.
I
did
not
sob
in
my
pillow.
In
the
morning,
we
had
all
gotten
ready
to
say
goodbye.
Mary
lectured
on
and
on.
Usually,
I
was
good
at
hiding
how
unscholarly
I
was
but
not
around
Mary.
She
was
very
scholarly
–
as
scholarly
as
she
was
beautiful
and,
I
think,
as
detestable
as
she
was
beautiful
and
scholarly.
She
preened
like
a
peacock.
We
hurried
outside
to
say
goodbye
to
Francis
Dereham.
He
slipped
me
a
large
letter.
It
said:
Dear Catherine, My love is a strong bridge, an anchor of undying hope. My wife doth spring admire, But it to her is foul weather, I must and will take her under the briar. I love you Kate. Please marry me when I return.
I
looked
up
to
say
yes,
but
he
was
gone.
“Don’t
frown”,
I
had
told
myself.
I
must
not
make
Mary
happy.
And
I
must
not
make
the
dowager
suspect.
Joan
and
Agnes
had
helped
me
pack
all
my
things
and
the
next
morning
I
was
in
a
bumpy
carriage
heading
towards
the
palace.
“I
am
going
to
court,”
I
thought
to
myself,
“and
it
is
just
marvelous,”
I
added.
The
carriage
had
bumped
all
the
way
to
court,
where
all
of
my
future
lay.
5
Chapter Two
Maid-of-honor
After
seeing
Elizabeth,
I
headed
towards
the
maids‐of‐honor
quarters.
When
I
entered
the
room
assigned
to
the
maids‐of‐honor,
the
ladies
stopped
talking
and
stared
at
me.
“She
looks
like
Anne
Boleyn,”
one
lady
whispered.
I
whisked
past
the
ladies
and
unpacked
my
things.
Later
on,
as
we
dined,
I
picked
up
some
gossip.
The
ladies
included
Janet
Shyland,
Eleanor
Snortgrass,
Ella
Gems,
and
Eliza
Giggerstongue.
Ella
was
the
king’s
mistress.
She
was
the
only
one
who
befriended
me.
I
truly
did
not
envy
her.
I
pitied
her
because
I
hated
the
king.
A
mad,
old
lunatic,
who
had
murdered
my
cousin
(or
had
had
her
murdered),
the
king
was
as
mean
as
the
executioner’s
sword.
However,
I
loved
gossip
and
Ella
always
had
an
abundance
of
it.
She
was
the
king’s
mistress,
after
all.
Ella
told
me
that
Eliza
was
so
talkative
that
no
one
found
her
appealing.
She
was
the
lady
who
had
whispered
the
comment
about
Anne
Boleyn.
Red
headed
and
long
pointy
nosed
Eliza
was
incredibly
full
of
herself.
Her
bright
green
piercing
eyes
portrayed
her
deep
nosiness.
6
Ella
had
fair
hair
and
simple
peaceful
eyes
that
were
nothing
like
her
character.
She
was
an
excited
(excitable),
impatient,
and
hot‐tempered
lady
who
loved
nothing
as
much
as
gossip.
She
told
me
that
Janet
was
so
shy
and
quiet
that
Ella
had
never
heard
her
speak.
“She
is
shameful
but
in
the
opposite
way
of
Eliza,
her
cousin,”
said
Ella.
Janet
was
afraid
of
me
so
I
exchanged
no
words
with
her.
However,
I
felt
that
Ella
was
being
too
hard
on
her.
Eliza
spoke
insults
about
me
all
evening
but
they
were
said
so
fast
that
I
could
not
understand
her.
The
only
person
who
listened
to
Eliza
was
Eleanor
Snortgrass.
Eleanor
was
Eliza’s
only
friend.
Eleanor
had
light
brown
hair
and
a
rosy
face,
so
rosy
it
looked
like
her
face
was
plain
red!
She
was
always
laughing
and
Ella
described
her
laughter
as
sounding
like
a
chattering
raven.
“Have
you
seen
a
raven?”
I
asked
Ella.
Ella
replied,
“No.”
She
explained
that
her
theory
was
an
“intelligent
guess.”
She
explained
that
our
main
duty
was
to
help
the
queen.
I
laughed,
saying,
“Our
main
duty
is
to
flirt
with
men,
it
seems.”
Ella
said
that
my
laugh
sounded
like
my
cousin
Anne
Boleyn’s,
like
a
crow.
I
laughed
again.
Janet
ran
away
from
the
table
when
she
had
finished
eating,
her
gold
hair,
blue
eyes,
and
white
dress
making
her
look
like
an
angel.
“Janet
is
always
extremely
pale,”
Ella
told
me.
Then,
Ella
sang
us
all
a
song:
“ Heaven’s glory reigns ever, Forever does glory reign. Beauty and goodness combined in one, God bless the king, Heaven’s glory reigns.”
Suddenly,
the
queen
ran
into
the
room.
She
cursed
Ella
for
waking
her
up.
Of
course,
Queen
Anne
hated
Ella.
Almost
everyone
hated
the
king’s
mistress
and
no
one
hated
the
king’s
mistress
more
than
the
queen,
obviously.
The
queen
ran
out
as
suddenly
as
she
had
come
in.
Eleanor
tried
to
stop
a
giggle
and
gave
a
loud
snort.
We
all
burst
out
laughing.
Eliza
then
started
chattering
again.
“The
queen
is
so
jealous
of
me,”
Ella
whispered
to
me.
“Almost
all
the
women
hate
me.”
7
I
did
not
understand
why
she
did
not
stop
being
the
king’s
mistress.
I
could
not
even
bear
looking
at
him
for
a
second.
Really.
Anyway,
Ella
told
me
that
the
king
gave
her
marvelous
gifts
and
everyone
knew
about
the
affair.
I
could
have
guessed
that
because
Ella
talked
about
the
affair
a
lot
and
I
knew
that
men
hate
keeping
secrets
about
love.
Men
like
to
look
gallant
just
like
women
like
to
be
flirtatious.
Both
men
and
women
love
to
gloat.
I
was
already
an
expert
of
the
court.
The
next
morning,
Ella
told
me
there
was
someone
she
would
like
me
to
meet.
“Who?”
I
asked.
She
did
not
tell
me.
She
led
me
down
a
narrow
corridor.
“Where
are
we
going?”
I
asked.
“To
where
I
always
meet
him
to
say
‘hello’
in
the
morning,”
Ella
replied.
“Then
it
is
a
man
whom
she
is
going
to
introduce
to
me,”
I
thought,
my
keen
ear
picking
up
Ella’s
saying
“him”.
Then
by
the
wall,
I
saw
a
tall
man
with
a
very
handsome
face.
He
had
dashing
brown
eyes,
dark
hair,
and
a
kind
smile.
He
seemed
like
a
perfect
man
to
me.
He
smiled
at
Ella
and
then
he
stared
at
me.
I
recognized
him
from
somewhere.
“Thomas,”
said
Ella,
“this
is
my
new
companion,
Catherine
Howard.
Catherine,
this
is
darling
Thomas
Culpeper.
I
believe
he’s
a
cousin
of
yours.”
I
stared
at
the
striking
man.
Then
I
knew
where
I
had
seen
him.
I
had
seen
him
at
a
family
banquet
at
the
Dowager’s.
“Hello,”
I
said.
8
Chapter Three
Culpeper
The
moment
I
saw
him,
I
fell
in
love
with
him.
Thomas
was
my
dream
and
desire.
I
believe
he
loved
me,
too.
Thomas
called
on
our
quarters
the
morning
after
we
met.
Ella
thought
it
was
to
see
her,
but
it
was
clear
that
he
had
come
to
see
me
when
he
gave
me
a
beautiful
deep
red
rose.
“The
rose
is
you,
my
lady,
and
I
am
privileged
to
hold
it,”
he
said.
Eleanor
gave
a
giggle
and
a
loud
snort.
Then
Thomas
asked
me
to
walk
with
him.
He
was
a
very
intelligent
man.
We
went
into
an
apple
orchard
and
he
asked
me
to
dance.
He
sang
a
tune
that
he
made
up
as
we
danced.
We
danced
to
his
golden
voice,
which
sang:
My mistress Catherine I sing low To the beat of dancing Partner ring. La, of my heart’s devotion. Let us dance.
9
“Yes,”
I
thought.
“Let
us
dance
forever
and
ever.”
I
said,
“You
sing
beautifully,
my
lord.”
“You
dance
beautifully,
my
lady,”
he
replied.
The
next
day,
he
visited
me
again.
“Here
comes
your
lover,”
said
Eleanor
while
snorting,
laughing,
and
looking
incredibly
envious
or
as
Ella
said,
“…like
a
green
apple.”
Thomas
took
me
on
a
walk
again.
We
went
to
the
flower
garden
and
picked
flowers.
Thomas
made
up
a
poem
comparing
me
to
a
rose
and
the
sun.
A rose of blooming beauty is Katheryne, Though more charming than a rose is she. A sun on the horizon of the deep blue sky, The lady I worship and for whom I sigh.
“That
is
all
I
have”,
he
said.
The
sun
sparkled
in
the
sky.
It
was
so
lovely.
That
night,
there
was
a
banquet.
I
danced
all
the
dances
with
Thomas
Culpeper.
As
I
danced,
I
met
the
king’s
eye
for
a
second.
I
lowered
mine
and
devoted
myself
entirely
to
Thomas.
I
did
not
suspect
what
that
glance
would
lead
to.
The
next
morning,
Thomas
took
me
to
the
chapel.
We
knelt
together
on
the
floor.
Then,
Thomas
spoke.
“Will
you
consent
to
a
betrothal
with
me?”
he
said.
“Yes,”
I
replied
when
I
was
able
to,
as
my
throat
was
choked
with
tears.
He
slipped
a
ruby
ring
onto
my
finger
and
we
silently
swore
faith
to
each
other
in
the
chapel.
I
will
never
forget
those
perfect
moments.
In
the
night
I
was
awakened
from
my
slumber
by
music.
The
other
ladies
were
awakened
as
well
and
we
stumbled
to
the
balcony.
Ella
looked
from
behind
the
curtain
and
told
us
in
a
very
astonished
tone,
“It
is
Master
Culpeper,
clearly
singing
to
Catherine!”
I
smiled
and
arranged
myself
in
the
glass.
I
took
some
roses
with
me
onto
the
balcony.
As
he
sang,
I
dropped
petals
down
on
him.
He
sang:
Love is the star in the bright moonlight. Love is a wave on a long true flight. So I do feel such love for you. And I will always, my Katheryn, prove true. A rose of my passion is my dear Katheryn. Oh, how I love you so.
10
His
voice
sang
a
silver
line
across
the
sky.
Oh,
how
I
loved
him!
Oh
how
I
love
him
still!
I
sang
back
to
him
from
the
balcony.
I love my Thomas dear, For him I will face all troubles And have no fear.
If
I
had
had
a
private
room,
I
would
have
shared
my
bed
with
him,
but
that
was
impossible.
I
had
to
be
satisfied
as
it
was,
and
that
was
not
hard
for
I
loved
him
so!
All
the
ladies
had
opinions
and
assumptions
about
my
relationship
with
Thomas,
besides
Ella
who
knew
the
truth
from
both
Thomas’s
lips
and
my
own
lips.
Eliza
Giggerstongue
thought
we
had
married
in
secret
and
Eleanor
agreed
with
her.
Janet
thought
it
was
a
passionate
love
with
no
engagement
or
marriage.
I
did
not
inform
them
of
anything.
The
nights
when
Thomas
serenaded
me
were
my
favorite
nights.
It
was
so
romantic.
When
Thomas
sang
to
me
I
thought
I
was
in
heaven.
Thomas
was
my
life.
I
spent
all
my
time
with
Thomas.
When
I
could
not
be
with
him,
I
spent
my
time
thinking
of
him.
I
did
not
think
of
the
king,
who
stared
at
me
during
all
the
banquets.
11
Chapter Four
King Henry
I
hated
King
Henry.
I
had
always
hated
him
and
my
hatred
had
deepened
to
a
more
serious
level
when
he
had
my
cousins
Anne
and
George
beheaded.
I
had
started
hating
him
when
he
began
to
try
to
rid
himself
of
Queen
Catherine.
I
abhorred
that
he
tried
to
use
the
good
Catholic
faith
in
accomplishing
that
awful
deed.
I
despised
him
for
having
Anne
and
George
executed,
just
because
Anne
couldn’t
have
a
male
child.
He
was
sick
of
her.
She
was
an
old
shoe.
I
could
hardly
bear
his
quick
marriage
to
Jane
and
his
false
love
hiding
his
thirst
for
power.
He
mourned
not
for
Jane
but
for
the
person
who
gave
him
a
son!
If
she
had
not
had
a
son,
he
probably
would
have
executed
her.
The
way
he
treated
Anne
of
Cleves
was
also
uncaring.
I
thought
as
little
of
him
as
possible.
He
was
very
ugly,
as
well.
Now
in
his
50s,
His
Majesty
was
wrinkled
and
his
hair
was
gray.
He
was
very
plump
and
he
had
an
extreme
case
of
gout
that
made
him
limp.
He
could
not
dance
because
of
his
limping,
and
he
had
a
very
short
temper.
One
day,
Ella
came
to
dine
with
a
hurt
look
on
her
face.
She
told
me
that
she
was
no
longer
the
king’s
mistress.
“I’m
too
old,”
she
said
and
burst
into
tears
as
I
tried
to
comfort
her.
12
“How
evil
the
king
is,”
I
thought.
I
felt
that
he
was
not
even
human.
The
king
was
also
incredibly
angry
most
of
the
time.
He
had
a
very
sharp
temper.
I
had
no
desire
to
be
the
king’s
mistress.
I
had
no
desire
to
ever
see
him.
I
would
rather
have
him
beheaded.
Naturally,
I
paid
no
attention
to
the
way
King
Henry
the
VIII
stared
at
me.
I
was
not
close
to
the
queen
but
I
believe
Her
Majesty
liked
me.
The
ladies
(besides
Ella)
continued
to
dislike
me.
The
dislike
was
forged
merely
on
the
grounds
of
my
interactions
with
Thomas.
They
did
not
notice
the
king’s
eyes
gazing
on
me
banquet
after
banquet.
Why
would
they?
People
said
the
king
used
to
have
fiery
red
hair
and
a
youthful
face.
He
had
danced
and
jousted
marvelously.
All
this
was
hard
for
me
to
believe.
Other
more
careless
people
whispered
that
he
had
once
been
loved
by
his
people
and
been
a
good
king.
This
I
could
not
believe
at
all.
I
hated
the
king
too
much.
The
queen
was
clearly
not
as
beautiful
as
her
portrait,
and
the
king’s
fancy
had
never
lit
on
her.
He
was
not
going
to
sit
by
her
side
for
long.
That
was
clear.
“The
king
does
as
the
king
pleases,”
or
so
everyone
said.
I
may
have
hated
the
king
but
I
was
so
uninterested
in
him
that
no
one
could
ever
tell.
King
Henry’s
first
wife
was
Catherine
of
Aragon.
Catherine
of
Aragon
was
a
Spanish
princess.
She
came
from
Spain
to
marry
Prince
Arthur,
Henry’s
older
brother.
However,
Arthur
died
of
consumption
soon
after
the
marriage.
To
avoid
sending
the
dowry
back
to
Spain,
the
king
betrothed
Henry
to
Catherine
(after
he
got
permission
from
the
pope).
However,
the
dowry
was
not
paid
and
the
betrothal
was
broken.
Catherine
lived
in
poverty
‘till
the
king
died
and
Henry
married
her.
She
only
had
one
live
child.
That
is
the
princess
Mary.
The
king
“needed”
a
son
and
heir
and
he
declared
their
marriage
illegal
because
of
Catherine’s
prior
marriage.
She
never
gave
in.
When
the
pope
would
not
annul
their
marriage,
the
king
broke
away
from
the
Catholic
faith
and
made
England
Protestant
so
he
could
marry
my
cousin
Anne
Boleyn.
Anne
was
not
from
a
royal
family
and
was
not
beautiful,
but
that
did
not
matter.
She
was
very
witty.
However,
Anne
gave
birth
to
a
daughter,
the
lady
Elizabeth
and
no
son.
13
The
king
asked
Cromwell
to
get
rid
of
her.
Cromwell
found
as
many
people
as
he
could
who
were
rumored
to
have
had
adultery
with
the
queen.
One
was
her
own
brother.
Anne
was
beheaded
with
her
“lovers”.
The
king
married
his
mistress
Jane
Seymour,
who
soon
got
pregnant
with
a
son.
She
gave
birth
to
the
son
and
died
shortly
after.
Cromwell
had
arranged
the
king’s
present
marriage
and
was
sure
to
fall.
The
King
was
evil.
I
was
truly
sure.
14
Chapter Five
Attentions and Introduction
One
night
at
a
banquet,
I
looked
around
to
find
Thomas
so
we
could
dance
and
met
the
eyes
of
the
king.
I
immediately
lowered
my
eyes
and
started
to
sneak
away.
However,
the
king
stopped
me
and
said,
“Will
you
sit
with
me
over
there
as
the
others
dance?”
I
managed
to
mutter,
“Yes,
your
majesty.”
I
expected
the
king
to
order
me
around
over
there,
but
no,
he
sat
next
to
me
entirely
silent.
I
was
glad
when
I
could
return
to
my
much
younger
and
much
more
agreeable
partner.
The
next
day,
my
uncle,
the
Duke
of
Norfolk,
called
on
the
maids
in
honor
quarters.
Ella
showed
him
in
with
a
curious
smile.
“Let
us
have
the
room
alone,”
he
commanded.
The
other
maids
reluctantly
shuffled
away.
“So,
Catherine,
I
have
arranged
a
meeting
or
introduction
with
you
and
His
Majesty,”
he
said
once
they
had
left.
“Sir,”
I
said,
“I
have
met
the
king
already.”
The
duke
explained,
“I
am
trying
to
have
you
married
to
the
king.”
15
I
nearly
fainted.
Married
to
the
king?
Married
to
the
old,
mad,
and
evil
lunatic?
Would
he
get
sick
of
me
and
have
me
executed
like
my
cousin?
What
about
my
darling
Thomas
Culpeper?
I
phrased
my
question
carefully:
“Do
you
think
I’d
be
executed
for
treason,
sir?”
He
shook
his
head.
“You
have
nothing
to
worry
about.
Just
swear
you
are
a
virgin
and
flirt
with
him
constantly.
Soon
you
will
be
pregnant
and
your
place
will
be
secure,”
he
said.
I
shivered.
I
was
worried.
“When
is
the
meeting?”
I
asked
with
all
the
courage
I
could
muster.
“Tomorrow
week
at
four,”
he
replied.
“So
soon!”
I
thought.
My
uncle
then
bade
me
farewell.
Once
the
door
was
closed,
I
fainted
dead
away.
I
awoke
to
find
myself
lying
in
bed
with
Ella
putting
a
damp
cloth
on
my
head.
It
was
the
next
morning.
“The
king
heard
you
were
ill
and
sent
you
a
golden
bracelet,”
Ella
said.
“I’m
not
ill
and
I
don’t
want
the
bracelet,”
I
said.
However,
I
loved
jewelry
and
ended
up
accepting
it.
“What
did
your
uncle
say?”
Ella
asked.
“I
am
not
allowed
to
say,”
I
told
her.
I
looked
up
at
the
ceiling
when
she
left
and
thought,
“Lord
help
me!”
I
was
and
am
still
in
love
with
Thomas
Culpeper,
my
uncle
wanted
me
to
marry
the
king,
the
king
was
in
his
50s
while
I
was
thirteen,
and
the
king
was
an
evil
lunatic
to
whom
you
could
not
say
no.
Besides
which,
the
king
could
murder
me
for
my
past
affairs.
I
was
resolved
on
two
things.
One:
continue
my
love
affair
with
Culpeper
no
matter
what.
Two:
not
to
be
afraid.
The
latter
was
harder
to
do
but
the
former
was
much
more
dangerous.
However,
with
the
former,
lovers
are
not
practical
and
I
do
not
think
I
knew
anyway
just
how
dangerous
it
was.
Anyway,
to
accomplish
both
things,
I
embraced
love
and
wild
adventure
and
deserted
fear.
Oh!
If
I
had
known
how
much
this
all
would
cost
me!
When
the
time
came,
I
went
to
the
introduction.
After
kneeling
the
appropriate
number
of
times,
I
sat
down
where
the
king
motioned
for
me
to
sit.
My
uncle
sat
in
another
chair.
16
“Your
Majesty,
this
is
my
lovely,
pure,
and
virgin
niece,”
the
duke,
my
uncle,
said.
“Lovely,”
cackled
the
wicked
old
king.
“A
rose
without
thorn!”
he
said.
I
felt
like
running
away
as
I
sat
on
his
repulsive
lap.
“I
will
see
you
soon,
my
dear.
For
now
take
this
golden
locket;
it
has
my
picture
in
it.”
I
took
the
locket
reluctantly
from
his
slimy
hands
and
mumbled,
“Thank
you,
your
Majesty.”
I
made
the
appropriate
gestures
and
slowly
walked
out.
When
I
was
finally
out,
I
hurried
to
one
of
the
gardens
and
took
a
long
walk.
As
I
walked,
I
trod
not
only
on
the
ground
but
on
my
anger.
My
anger
and
my
fear.
As
I
walked
I
thought,
“How
can
the
duke,
my
uncle,
do
this
to
me?”
and
“what
if
this
evil,
disgusting,
and
old
king
marries
me?”
and
“I
hate
those
two
men”
and
as
I
walked
my
thoughts
got
more
horrible.
Suddenly,
I
knocked
into
Thomas
Culpeper.
I
fell
crying
into
his
arms.
In
a
minute
he
knew
everything.
He
sat
in
the
rose
garden
on
a
log
with
my
head
on
his
lap
as
he
stroked
my
hair.
“I
love
you,
darling,”
he
whispered.
“I
love
you,
too,”
I
whispered
back.
I
felt
all
the
joy
of
love.
Oh,
how
I
wished
I
could
marry
Thomas!
I
daydreamed
in
that
garden
of
roses
that
would
soon
turn
black.
17
Chapter Six
An Old Shoe
Poor
Queen
Anne!
King
Henry
did
not
hide
his
indifference
towards
her
and
though
she
tried
to
look
merry
when
he
was
present,
her
sadness
was
clear
when
he
was
not.
She
could
tell
that
what
happened
to
Queen
Catherine
of
Aragon
if
not
worse
was
happening
to
her.
My
uncle
did
not
share
my
feelings.
“Soon
Anne
will
be
gone
and
you
will
become
queen.
The
Boleyns
and
Howards
will
be
in
power
again,”
he
said
happily.
Ella
thought
differently
from
both
my
uncle
and
myself.
“Lucky,
lucky
Anne!
She
won’t
be
beheaded!
I
can’t
understand
why
she
cries
so!”
Ella
would
say.
She
was
certain
for
some
reason
that
Anne
would
not
be
burned
as
a
heretic.
Mary
had
come
from
the
Norfolk
Mansion
to
court
to
join
me
as
a
maid‐of‐honor.
She
was
green
with
envy
about
how
the
king
was
seeking
me
out
and
it
made
her
lecture
me
even
more.
She
thought
of
the
matter
about
Anne
like
this:
“Anne
is
too
ugly
for
the
king.
Why
would
anyone
marry
a
hog?”
As
if
the
king
were
at
all
handsome
or
Queen
Anne
of
Cleves
at
all
ugly!
18
One
day,
I
told
Janet
how
I
pitied
the
queen,
our
“mistress”.
I
did
not
expect
Janet
to
reply
but
she
did.
She
said,
“The
queen
is
another
old
shoe.”
And
so
she
was.
The
queen
was
a
cast
off
shoe,
a
miserable
wreck
caused
by
the
king
who
did
not
care
for
her.
I
wondered
about
what
was
going
on
in
her
homeland.
What
did
her
mother
and
her
brother
think
about
it
all?
Meanwhile,
the
king
was
showering
me
with
marvelous
gifts,
which
I
would
have
loved
had
they
not
come
from
him
and
meant
that
he
wanted
to
marry
me.
He
called
me
“Our
perfect
jewel
of
love”
and
visited
me
twice
a
day
(or
called
me
to
his
chambers.)
I
did
not
lie
with
him
for
my
uncle
told
me
that
the
king
might
tire
of
me
before
the
marriage
if
I
became
his
mistress.
I
hated
it
all
and
sometimes
I
envied
Anne
because
she
would
soon
no
longer
be
the
wife
of
an
awful,
hideous,
detestable,
and
evil
man
and
king.
I
abhorred
King
Henry
the
Eighth
even
more
than
before
all
this.
My
comfort
was
with
Janet
whose
quiet
but
wise
judgment
always
calmed
down
my
anger.
Ella,
however,
was
still
my
informer
of
gossip.
“Anne
did
not
realize
that
the
king
hated
her
‘til
Thomas
Cromwell
told
her
that
the
king
wanted
an
annulment.
She
was
happy
when
he
came
in
and
tearful
and
sad
when
he
came
out.
And
as
you
know,
she
has
been
sad
and
crying
ever
since.”
I
had
not
known
that
the
annulment
had
already
been
suggested.
“Oh
God,”
I
said.
Ella
knew
not
the
cause
of
my
grief
because
I
had
only
confided
it
to
Janet
and
Thomas.
Ella
and
the
other
maids
of
honor
thought
I
was
the
king’s
mistress.
They
did
not
know
he
wanted
to
marry
me.
There,
I
have
written
the
fatal
words
of
my
doom.
The
king
wanted
to
marry
me,
and
the
king
does
as
the
king
pleases.
The
king
can
do
anything
he
wants
and
I
was
what
the
king
wanted.
I
knew
two
things
for
certain.
They
were
that
the
king
wanted
me
to
marry
him
and
that
he
could
do
anything.
Everything
else
about
my
future
was
uncertain.
A
mist
that
only
the
king
could
clear.
Every
moment
of
every
day
I
was
at
his
mercy.
So
was
Anne,
but
if
she
agreed
to
the
annulment
she
would
soon
be
free.
I
was
just
being
captured
now.
I
had
no
idea
if
I’d
ever
be
freed.
As
it
has
turned
out,
I
never
was.
I
did
not
realize
then
that
Ella
was
right.
Anne
was
very
lucky.
Her
case
was
sad
but
not
as
sad
as
many
others
‐‐
simply
because
she
would
be
free.
Free
from
the
claws
of
doom
stretching
from
the
king’s
fingers.
As
I
wrote
before,
Anne
(if
she
agreed
to
the
annulment)
would
soon
be
freed.
But
I
was
just
being
captured.
Queen
Anne
was
an
old
shoe,
but
I
was
a
new
one.
19
Chapter 7
Annulment and Marriage
What
had
been
hard
to
hear
gossip
about
only
days
ago
was
now
on
everybody’s
lips.
“The
king
wants
an
annulment
and
has
had
it
proposed
to
the
queen.”
“The
king
wants
an
annulment
and
has
had
it
proposed
to
the
queen,”
again
and
again.
Inwardly,
I
groaned
whenever
this
was
mentioned.
I
groaned
because
my
mind
added
to
that
sentence,
“…and
soon
you
will
marry
the
King.”
My
life
was
terrible
and
if
it
had
not
been
for
Thomas
Culpeper,
I
probably
would
have
killed
myself.
One
day,
I
was
called
to
the
king’s
chamber.
The
king
stared
at
me
for
a
long
time
and
then
said,
“Anne
has
consented
to
an
annulment.
Soon
we
can
marry.”
My
heartbeat
stopped.
My
fate
was
clear.
It
was
a
doomed
fate.
However,
even
then
I
did
not
know
how
doomed
it
was.
Later,
Ella
burst
into
my
chambers
full
of
the
news
of
the
annulment.
“You
do
not
realize
what
this
means
for
me,”
I
told
her.
“It
means
that
soon
you
will
have
a
new
mistress,”
she
said.
“No,
it
means
I
shall
be
queen,”
I
replied.
20
“Queen,”
repeated
Ella
as
if
she
were
about
to
faint.
I
nodded.
“Queen,”
I
said,
leaving
her
there
to
lie
down
and
think
about
everything.
Ella
clearly
had
been
quite
shocked
anyway
and
being
alone
may
have
been
comforting
to
her,
too.
Later,
the
king
told
me
more
details
of
the
annulment.
It
would
be
annulled
on
the
grounds
of
non‐consummation
as
well
as
Anne’s
pre‐contract
to
Francis
of
Lorraine.
I
was
now
sixteen
and
my
life
was
really
wild.
Anne
had
been
sent
away
from
court
and
I
was
now
sent
off
to
Lambeth.
The
king
rowed
there
very
often.
He
lavished
me
with
gifts
–
from
diamond
pendants
and
ropes
of
pearls
to
lands
and
manors
once
owned
by
Queen
Jane
Seymour.
I
tried
to
play
my
part
of
loving
the
king
well.
Now
that
my
companions
were
the
other
wards
(including
Mary),
the
dowager’s
ladies
in
waiting,
and
the
dowager,
I
felt
really
alone.
Oh,
how
I
missed
Thomas!
I
was
in
utter
misery
despite
the
king’s
gifts.
One
day,
the
king
and
I
were
sitting
by
the
water
when
he
suddenly
said,
“The
annulment
is
taking
place
on
July
9th,
tomorrow.
Catherine,
we
can
marry
on
the
28th!”
I
nearly
fell
over.
It
was
so
soon!
After
he
left,
I
went
over
to
tell
the
Duke
of
Norfolk,
my
uncle.
He
was
very
excited.
“This
is
your
duty
to
the
family
and
the
religion,”
he
said.
That
night
I
could
not
sleep.
I
could
not
believe
it
all.
I
was
to
be
Queen,
married
to
a
man
I
hated
and
not
to
the
man
I
loved.
And
moreover,
we
were
to
be
married
very
soon.
It
was
all
dreadful.
History
may
rule
me
foolish
but
my
story
is
not
foolish.
This
story
is
a
tragedy
–
a
desperate,
loving
and
doomed
tragedy.
The
story
of
me:
a
story
that
turned
out
even
worse
than
I
thought
it
would.
My
many
crimes
are
nothing
to
the
king’s.
My
horrible
life
and
death
will
pay
for
my
crimes.
On
the
ninth,
the
annulment
was
passed.
Anne
was
given
many
houses
and
I
gave
her
a
little
puppy.
The
king
and
I
traveled
to
Oatlands
Palace
and
on
the
28th
we
were
married.
I
swore
to
love
him
“till
death
do
us
part.”
I
was
Queen
Consort
of
England.
My
married
life
was
about
to
start.
I
was
terrified.
I
had
stepped
across
a
line
and
my
life
was
changing.
I
felt
a
sinking
feeling
that
I
never
would
be
free
again.
“Till
death
do
us
part.”
The
words
held
a
special
meaning,
underneath.
“Till
death
do
us
part.”
I
was
now
married
to
the
king
and
my
life
and
my
freedom
were
under
his
key.
21
O
history!
My
story
is
so
full
of
pain,
I
can
hardly
write.
The
king
loved
me,
even
now
I
am
sure
of
that.
But
how
much
did
he
love
me?
I
had
good
reason
to
be
scared.
The
king
was
very
dangerous.
I
knew
from
his
past
marriages.
My
cousin
had
been
the
most
unlucky.
My
fate
was
in
the
king’s
hands
and
I
was
stuck.
I
was
married
to
the
most
powerful
and
dangerous
man
in
England,
King
Henry
the
Eighth.
22
Chapter Eight
Queen
“This
is
my
lovely
queen,
my
rose
without
thorn,”
the
king
boasted
proudly.
I
felt
sick
inside.
The
only
thing
I
liked
about
being
queen
was
the
jewels.
We
were
on
a
royal
progress
and
the
king
was
proudly
displaying
his
new
bride,
me.
Anne
and
I
played
cards
most
of
the
time,
but
all
day
and
night
I
had
to
play
the
part
of
the
king’s
perfect
wife.
It
was
not
as
hard
as
I
expected
because
the
king
liked
watching
me
enjoy
myself
with
dancing
and
dress.
I
felt
somewhat
joyful
when
I
danced
all
night
with
Anne
of
Cleves.
The
king
went
to
bed
early
with
gout
and
I
was
glad
to
be
away
from
him.
I
enjoyed
this
early
time
of
our
marriage
and
made
my
motto
“No
other
will
than
his”
(obviously
referring
to
the
king.)
I
loved
the
banquets,
balls,
and
gifts
I
received.
My
first
appearance
as
Queen
had
been
at
Hampton
Court,
where
I
sat
publicly
under
the
cloth
of
state.
August
was
full
of
banquets
and
hunting
in
my
honor.
I
could
get
anything
I
wanted
and
I
took
advantage
of
it.
My
stepdaughter,
the
Princess
Mary,
who
was
nine
years
older
than
I,
took
an
immediate
dislike
to
me.
I
think
it
was
jealousy,
as
I
was
younger
than
she,
and
already
married.
Now
everyone
prayed
my
name
at
church.
On
the
29th
of
August,
we
traveled
to
the
Manor
of
Grafton
and
the
king
ordered
a
medal
to
be
made
in
commemoration
of
our
marriage.
It
was
to
be
a
gold
Tudor
rose
and
true
lovers’
knot
entwined
with
the
inscription,
“Henricus
VIII:
RUTILANS
ROSA
SINE
SPINA”
(Henry
VIII:
A
Dazzling
Rose
without
Thorn).
23
Then
we
stayed
at
Ampthill
for
a
fortnight.
My
husband
got
overly
concerned
because
my
vice‐chamberlain,
Eduard
Baynton,
got
drunk.
A
rumor
went
out
that
Anne
of
Cleves
was
pregnant
by
the
King
and
that
he
had
seduced
her
during
one
of
his
visits
to
her
at
Richmond.
The
king
was
in
a
state
and
was
glad
to
find
out
that
Anne
had
merely
had
a
stomach
upset.
The
king
gave
me
all
the
lands
and
manors
that
belonged
to
Queen
Jane
and
I
enjoyed
it
all.
Then
a
crisis
arose
around
my
chief
Lady
in
Waiting,
Lady
Margaret
Douglas.
She
was
the
king’s
niece
and
had
fallen
in
love
with
my
brother,
Charles.
They
had
such
an
open
romantic
affair,
I
was
a
little
jealous
of
them.
However
I
began
to
hope
they
would
marry,
as
it
would
make
my
brother
so
happy.
It
was
all
so
open
that
by
the
time
we
got
to
Windsor,
the
king
had
heard
a
rumor
of
it.
His
wrath
was
terrible
and
Margaret
was
sent
to
Syon
Abbey.
Charles
was
not
allowed
to
contact
her.
Lady
Rochford
advised
me
to
stay
away
from
the
matter
so
the
king
would
not
get
angry
with
me.
However,
I
felt
for
the
lovers
and
this
only
deepened
my
hatred
of
the
king.
I
felt
so
helpless
for
not
being
able
to
save
my
brother
and
so
relieved
when
Charles
escaped
to
France.
We
moved
to
Hampton
Court
for
the
Christmas
season.
I
received
even
more
gifts
and
my
mood
began
to
lift
again.
The
bad
part
was
that
the
Princess
Mary
came,
but
at
least
Anne
of
Cleves
was
there,
and
she
got
on
well
with
the
Princess
Mary.
That
was
when
Anne
and
I
danced
all
night.
The
King
gave
me
two
dogs
and
I
gave
both
of
them
to
Anne.
I
was
beginning
to
get
used
to
being
queen.
My
life
was
not
that
hard
and
as
you
know
I
loved
dancing.
I
did
not
know
what
the
future
held
for
me
but
I
was
enjoying
the
present.
Soon
I
no
longer
thought
of
myself
as
Catherine
Howard
but
as
Queen
Catherine,
wife
of
King
Henry
VIII.
However,
there
was
something
that
worried
me.
It
was
that
I
had
to
sleep
with
the
king
and
smell
his
repulsive
smell.
Another
thing
that
worried
me
was
that
I
was
not
a
virgin
when
I
married
the
king.
If
the
king
knew,
I
was
sure
he
would
not
consider
me
his
“Rose
without
Thorn”.
24
Chapter Nine
Misery
The
king
went
to
London
alone
while
I
stayed
at
Hampton
court.
It
was
the
first
time
we
were
separate
during
our
marriage.
When
he
returned,
his
leg
began
to
pain
him
worse
and
he
sank
into
depression.
I
held
the
banquets
and
masques,
which
felt
empty,
as
the
king
did
not
attend
them.
What
I
had
expected
before
the
marriage
was
coming
to
life.
The
king
was
not
just
disgusting
but
melancholy
and
irascible.
He
even
shut
the
door
on
me
when
I
tried
to
help
him.
I
prayed
for
his
death.
I
could
not
help
it.
I
was
in
misery
and
the
joy
I
had
felt
in
the
beginning
of
our
marriage
was
gone
forever.
He
was
better
by
the
19th
of
March,
but
I
felt
no
joy
in
his
recovery.
In
the
spring,
I
was
stirred
to
action
by
three
poor
prisoners
in
the
tower.
One
was
Thomas
Wyatt,
in
for
a
minor
charge.
I
tried
to
convince
the
king
to
release
him.
It
was
hard
but
the
king
finally
agreed,
laying
down
certain
conditions,
the
which
were
Wyatt
confessing
his
guilt
and
returning
to
his
wife.
I
tried
to
get
the
king
to
leave
out
the
latter
condition,
but
he
was
obstinate.
The
second
prisoner
was
the
Countess
of
Salisbury,
who
had
been
there
two
years
with
inadequate
clothing
or
heating
to
protect
her
aged
body
during
the
winter.
25
I
ordered
my
tailor
to
send
a
good
number
of
clothes
to
the
countess.
With
my
husband’s
(oh,
how
I
hate
those
words!)
permission,
I
paid
for
the
clothes
out
of
my
own
purse.
I
also
secured
the
release
of
a
third
prisoner,
Sir
John
Wallop.
Wyatt’s
pardon
was
very
popular,
and
the
king
and
I
basked
in
approval.
The
king
liked
being
seen
as
a
merciful
sovereign
for
it
flattered
his
vanity.
My
hatred
for
him
was
growing.
In
April,
I
thought
I
might
be
pregnant,
but
it
came
to
nothing.
The
king
was
very
disappointed.
I
was
scared
because
of
a
rumor
that
His
Majesty
intended
to
rid
himself
of
me
and
take
back
Anne
of
Cleves.
I
was
dissatisfied
with
my
marriage
and
the
king’s
assurances
that
he
would
never
get
rid
of
me
did
little
to
comfort
me,
as
I
was
sure
he
would
some
day.
The
spring
was
quiet
and
boring.
That
is
until
the
news
arrived
that
there
was
an
uprising
against
the
king
in
Yorkshire.
Its
point
was
to
restore
the
old
forms
of
religion
in
England.
His
Majesty
feared
that
disaffection
would
lead
to
plots
to
put
Margaret
Pole
on
the
throne
as
she
was
a
relative
to
King
Richard
III
and
a
Plantagenet.
King
Henry
now
did
one
of
the
most
horrifying
actions
of
his
reign.
He
ordered
a
death
sentence
on
the
Countess
Margaret
Pole
of
Salisbury.
I
begged
for
mercy
on
her,
my
tears
creating
a
pool
but
the
king
had
her
executed.
The
68‐year‐old
countess
was
led
to
the
scaffold
on
the
tower
green,
the
place
where
Anne
Boleyn,
my
cousin,
had
died.
The
executioner
was
young
and
untrained.
The
Countess,
terrified,
tried
to
run
from
the
block.
Faced
with
such
a
prisoner,
the
executioner
panicked.
The
executioner
struck
blindly
at
her,
hacking
at
the
countess’s
head,
neck
and
shoulders
till
he
butchered
the
poor
old
lady
to
death.
Her
end
was
cruel
and
after
it
I
could
no
longer
bear
being
the
king’s
wife.
This
execution
spurred
my
marital
conduct
and
made
me
feel
how
much
the
king
deserved
the
countess’s
fate.
The
happy
beginning
of
our
marriage
was
over
for
me
and
my
misery
about
Lady
Salisbury’s
bloody
execution
would
last
my
whole
life.
Thinking
of
it
always
makes
me
shiver.
It
was
at
this
time
when
the
king
became
more
feared
than
beloved
by
many
of
his
subjects.
The
king
was
unrepentant
and
that
furthered
my
misery.
All
this
made
me
think
of
the
awful
possibility
that
the
king
would
do
what
he
had
done
to
Lady
Salisbury
to
me.
I
knew
I
had
to
be
careful
but
my
feelings
were
stronger
than
my
sense.
My
misery
was
stronger
than
my
sense.
26
Chapter 10
Lover
I
started
a
real
relationship
with
Thomas
Culpeper
after
Lady
Salisbury’s
death.
We
were
on
a
royal
progress
and
I
was
enjoying
my
popularity.
I
had
renewed
my
relationship
with
Thomas
when
the
king
went
into
his
depression.
At
Lincoln,
during
the
progress,
I
lay
with
him
during
two
nights.
The
first
night,
my
chamberers,
Mrs.
Tilney
and
Margaret
Morton,
accompanied
me
to
Lady
Rochford’s
chamber
where
Thomas
was
waiting.
They
were
sent
down
again.
However,
Margaret
returned
later.
Inside
the
chamber,
Thomas
and
I
lay
together
and
made
love.
We
did
what
we
had
so
long
wanted
to
do.
I
was
anxious
for
him
to
continue
the
romance
he
had
started.
For
though
my
love
for
him
was
and
is
strong,
I
had
resisted
at
first.
“Please
dear,”
he
had
begged
till
I
gave
into
what
I
wanted
rather
than
what
was
prudent.
My
wonderful
nights
with
Thomas
continued.
The
second
night,
I
brought
only
Mrs.
Tilney
with
me
and
she
waited
outside.
Again
I
lay
with
Thomas,
enjoying
the
romantic
beam
of
his
perfect
eyes.
At
Pontefract,
I
had
angry
words
with
Margaret
Morton
and
Mrs.
Luffkyn,
both
chamberers
of
mine.
Then,
I
forbade
them
to
enter
my
bedchamber.
This
made
it
so
I
could
sleep
with
Thomas
there.
27
Lady
Rochford
and
I
sent
our
messages
through
servants.
However,
the
messages
never
said
what
we
really
meant.
One
night,
as
I
lay
with
Culpeper
in
my
bedchamber,
attended
by
Lady
Rochford,
the
king
came
there
unexpectedly.
The
door
was
fastened
as
usual.
When
we
heard
him
knocking,
I
hid
Thomas
in
my
closet
and
dressed
myself
quickly.
It
was
a
while
until
we
were
ready
to
open
the
door.
At
Hatfield,
I
saw
Thomas
from
my
chamber
window
and
stared
at
him
lovingly.
Suddenly,
I
heard
footsteps
and
turned
around
to
see
that
Margaret
Morton
was
in
the
room.
When
she
saw
that
I
saw
her,
she
ran
away.
Once
I
lay
with
Thomas
in
my
closet
for
five
hours
and
I
was
incredibly
nervous
that
someone
would
come
in.
My
love
for
Thomas
grew
daily
and,
as
I
said,
I
was
immensely
enjoying
the
royal
progress.
My
happiness
was
shattered
for
a
short
time
when
at
Pontefract
I
met
face
to
face
with
Francis
Dereham.
He
requested
a
place
as
my
secretary.
Because
he
knew
things
that
could
be
my
downfall,
I
had
to
keep
him
quiet
and
give
him
the
position.
When
the
king
asked
my
why
I
gave
Dereham
the
position,
I
replied,
“I
promised
the
Duchess
to
be
kind
to
him.”
And
indeed,
I
had
received
a
letter
from
the
Duchess
saying
as
much.
I
was
by
now
truly
worried.
However,
I
continued
anyway.
My
heart
was
given
to
Thomas
Culpeper.
I
loved
him
then
and
I
love
him
now.
That
is
how
it
was.
Around
this
time,
I
wrote
the
following
letter
to
him:
Master Culpeper, I heartily recommend me unto you, praying you to send me word how that you do. It was showed me that you was sick, the which thing troubled me very much till such time that I hear from you praying you to send me word how that you do, for I never longed so much for a thing as I do to see you and to speak with you, the which I trust shall be shortly now. That which doth comfortly me very much when I think of it, and when I think again that you shall depart from me again it makes my heart die to think what fortune I have that I cannot be always in your company. It my trust is always in you that you will be as you have promised me, and in that hope I trust upon still, praying you that you will come when my Lady Rochford is here for then I shall be best at leisure to be at your commandment, thanking you for that you have promised me to be so good unto that poor fellow my man which is one of the griefs that I do feel to depart from him for then I do know no one that I dare trust to send to you, and therefore I pray you take him to be with you that I may sometime hear from you one thing. I pray you to give me a horse for my man for I had much ado to get one and therefore I pray send me one by him and in so doing I am as I said afor, and thus I take my leave of you, trusting to see you shortly again and I would you was with me now that you might see what pain I take in writing to you. Yours as long as life endures, Katheryn.
28
One thing I had forgotten and that is to instruct my man to tarry here with me still for he says whatsomever you bid him he will do it.
This
letter
would
help
cause
my
doom
for
it
portrays
my
love
for
Thomas
truly
completely.
I
wonder
what
would
have
happened
if
I
had
never
written
it.
My
heart
was
what
caused
my
doom.
I
can’t
deny
it.
My
youth,
my
romantic
nature,
my
foolishness,
and
my
love.
That
is
why
my
life
is
being
cut
so
short.
I
was
surprised
that
Lady
Rochford
encouraged
our
love.
She
was
either
a
really
good
friend
or
an
evil
lady
trying
to
get
me
pregnant.
Some
times,
I
think
both.
At
the
time
it
was
a
quick
surprise
that
disappeared
soon.
Now
I,
in
the
last
hours
of
my
life,
ponder
over
it.
I
hated
lying
with
the
king
and
sometimes
I
was
so
discouraged
I
wanted
to
die.
The
king
smelled
so
horrible
and
I
had
to
sleep
with
him.
In
times
like
this
Lady
Rochford
would
comfort
me
and
then
we
would,
like
always,
sneak
into
her
chamber
where
darling,
dearest
Thomas
would
be
waiting,
and
at
once
my
spirits
would
revive.
However,
I
was
really
afraid
that
someone
would
find
out.
I
made
Thomas
swear
not
to
speak
of
it
in
his
confession
for
fear
the
king
should
hear
of
it.
I
was
now
seventeen
and
my
life
was
truly
frightening.
I
was
certain
at
the
time
that
the
king
would
never
order
my
death.
If
I
had
not
been
certain,
I
would
have
been
dead
of
worry
long
before
now.
However,
I
did
know
I
was
in
danger.
But
at
the
time,
I
was
a
reckless
lover
and
the
danger
made
me
even
more
in
love.
29
Chapter Eleven
Servants
My
servants
included
my
friends
from
Lambeth,
such
as
Agnes
Restwold,
Margaret
Morton,
and
Mrs.
Tilney.
Jane
Bulmer
had
written
to
me
for
a
place
in
my
household
and
I
dared
not
refuse,
as
with
Francis
Dereham.
Another
lady
was
Lady
Margaret
Douglass
(the
king’s
niece
and
the
most
renowned
lady
in
my
household),
who
was
sent
to
Syon
Abbey
for
loving
Charles
who
fled
to
France.
There
was
Lady
Rochford,
the
Duchess
of
Richmond,
the
Dowager
Duchess
of
Norfolk,
the
Countess
of
Sussex,
Lady
Margaret
Howard,
and
Lady
Clinton
(Lord
Clinton’s
second
wife.)
Catherine
Carey
was
also
my
maid.
Unfortunately,
Mary
was
not—she
had
gotten
married.
I
had
two
puppies
named
Henry
and
Francis,
after
my
former
lovers.
Jane
Bulmer
and
I
laughed
together
about
it.
Francis
was
behaving
horribly.
He
had
a
fiery
temper
and
was
not
quiet
about
our
huge
knowledge
of
each
other.
Once,
one
of
my
ushers,
Master
John,
got
angry
with
Francis
because
he
did
not
rise
with
the
council.
When
Master
John
told
him
by
message
to
rise
with
everyone
else,
Francis
refused.
He
sent
the
insolent
message
that,
“I
was
one
of
the
queen’s
council
before
you
knew
her
and
shall
be
there
after
she
hath
forgotten
you!”
This
led
to
a
brawl.
Francis
was
the
victor.
Luckily,
the
king
did
not
hear
of
it.
30
I
had
many
servants
that
were
my
friends.
Most
of
the
servants
were
related
to
me
somehow.
I
had
so
many
cousins!
My
life
was
so
busy!
My
chamber
was
always
very
wild.
Lady
Rochford
did
her
best
to
help
but
I
myself
enjoyed
the
wild
games
we
played.
I
am
stupid,
but
I
understood
how
dangerous
it
was
to
have
such
wild
chamberers.
If
someone
saw
a
man
sneak
into
my
chamber,
they
might
think
it
was
to
see
me,
not
Agnes
Restwold.
My
friends
were
not
as
careful
as
I.
Ella
was
with
me
and
now
I
told
her
gossip.
“You
have
risen
high,”
she
told
me,
“but
you
must
be
careful.”
I
wished
she
were
my
maid
for
she
was
both
fun
and
wise.
I
heeded
her
advice
and
was
as
careful
as
a
silly
girl
like
me
could
be.
I
was
beloved
by
the
king
and
everyone
had
to
pray
for
me
in
church.
I
did
not
realize
that
just
as
my
name
was
prayed,
people
were
plotting
my
doom.
31
Chapter Twelve
Discovery
Oh!
When
I
think
of
this,
my
heart
shudders
and
breaks.
Too
terrible.
Too
frightening.
I
was
dancing
with
my
ladies
when
they
came
and
told
me
that
I
could
not
leave
my
rooms.
I
thought
that
it
was
a
little
nothing,
and
kept
on
dancing.
Then
the
Archbishop
Cranmer
came
and
said,
“No
time
for
dancing.”
He
questioned
me
about
Francis
Dereham.
He
reproached
me
for
giving
Francis
the
position
as
my
secretary.
Then
he
dismissed
most
of
my
servants.
That
is
when
I
broke
down.
I
was
scared
to
death
and
my
tears
would
not
stop
flowing.
The
archbishop
came
again,
but
did
not
stay
long
because
of
my
state.
The
next
morning,
Cranmer
brought
me
hope
in
a
letter
from
the
king,
promising
mercy
if
I
confessed
my
sins.
I
wrote
a
confession
and
then
I
got
upset
again.
It
was
fear,
but
I
said,
“Alas,
my
lord,
that
I
am
alive!
The
fear
of
death
did
not
grieve
me
so
much
before
as
doth
now
the
remembrance
of
the
King’s
goodness,
for
when
I
remember
how
gracious
and
loving
a
prince
I
had,
I
cannot
but
sorrow.
But
this
sudden
mercy,
more
then
I
could
have
looked
for,
maketh
mine
offences
to
appear
before
mine
eyes
much
more
heinous
then
they
did
before.
And
the
more
I
consider
the
greatness
of
his
mercy,
the
more
I
do
sorrow
in
my
heart
that
I
should
so
misorder
myself
against
his
majesty.”
During
one
of
my
questionings,
the
archbishop
accused
me
of
being
an
adulteress
with
Francis
Dereham.
“I
am
not
an
adulteress,”
I
screamed.
32
“You
are
and
you
must
confess,”
he
said,
pressingly.
“No.
I
am
innocent,”
I
cried.
“Confess,”
he
repeated,
“Confess.”
The
archbishop
terrified
me.
My
ladies
that
were
still
with
me
had
to
drag
me
to
my
questionings.
“No,
no
please,
I
am
innocent,”
I
would
cry.
“Spare
me!”
I
insisted
to
the
archbishop
that
I
see
the
king.
That
is
when
I
heard
the
most
dreadful
thing.
“The
king
is
gone
to
Oatland
Palace,”
the
archbishop
told
me.
“No!
He
can’t
leave
me
alone!”
I
cried
in
despair.
“You
must
confess
or
I
cannot
save
you
from
the
scaffold,”
he
said.
“No!”
I
said,
collapsing
on
the
floor.
“No!”
I
sobbed.
“You
are
a
traitor
if
you
committed
adultery
against
the
king
as
you
did.
That
is
treason
and
treason
is
punishable
by
death,”
he
said
calmly.
There
were
tears
in
his
eyes.
“No!”
I
said,
“I
am
innocent!
I
did
not
betray
the
king!
I
am
a
good
girl!
I
did
nothing
wrong!
I
swear
it!
Oh
God,
no!”
Then
he
left
me
to
my
sorrow.
Then
suddenly,
Lady
Rochford
went
mad.
Without
her
in
her
senses,
I
was
all
alone.
I
was
doomed.
I
had
inherited
a
dreadful
fate
from
Anne
Boleyn.
I
had
inherited
the
doomed
fate
of
the
scaffold.
I
was
doomed.
I
had
to
give
a
written
confession
to
the
archbishop.
It
said,
“I, your Grace's most sorrowful subject and most vile wretch in the world, not worthy to make any recommendation unto your most excellent Majesty, do only make my most humble submission and confession of my faults. And where no cause of mercy is given on my part, yet of your most accustomed mercy extended unto all other men undeserverd, most humbly on my hands and knees do desire one particle thereof to be extended unto me, although of all other creatures I am most unworthy either to be called your wife or subject. !My sorrow I can by no writing express, nevertheless I trust your most benign nature will have some respect unto my youth, my ignorance, my frailness, my humble confession of my faults, and plain declaration of the same, referring me wholly unto Your Grace's pity and mercy. First, at the flattering and fair persuasions of Mannox, being but a young girl, I suffered him a sundry times to handle and touch the secret parts of my body which neither became me with honesty to permit, nor him to require. Also, Francis Dereham by many persuasions procured me to his vicious purpose, and obtained first to lie upon my bed with his doublet and hose, and after within the bed, and finally he lay with me naked, and used me in such sort as a man doth his wife, many and sundry times, and our company ended almost a year before
33
the King's Majesty was married to my Lady Anne of Cleves and continued not past one quarter of a year, or a little above. Now the whole truth being declared unto Your Majesty, I most humbly beseech you to consider the subtle persuasions of young men and the ignorance and frailness of young women. I was so desirous to be taken unto your Grace's favor, and so blinded by with the desire of worldly glory that I could not, nor had grace to consider how great a fault it was to conceal my former faults from your Majesty, considering that I intended ever during my life to be faithful and true unto your Majesty ever after. Nevertheless, the sorrow of mine offenses was ever before mine eyes, considering the infinite goodness of your Majesty toward me from time to time ever increasing and not diminishing. Now, I refer the judgment of my offenses with my life and death wholly unto your most benign and merciful Grace, to be considered by no justice of your Majesty's laws but only by your infinite goodness, pity, compassion and mercy, without which I acknowledge myself worthy of the most extreme punishment."
I
later
found
out
that
it
was
Mary
who
told
on
me.
I
will
never
forgive
her.
It
is
because
of
Mary
I
am
doomed.
Now
I
must
repeat.
I
could
never
forgive
her.
I
knew
I
was
as
good
as
dead.
I
was
sent
to
Syon
Abbey,
where
I
was
kept
prisoner
with
only
a
few
ladies.
“I
am
Queen
of
England,”
I
said.
“You
can’t
do
this
to
me.”
However,
in
my
heart
I
knew
they
could.
I
was
miserable
for
they
had
discovered
me.
I
was
all
alone.
And
I
was
doomed.
34
Chapter Thirteen
The Tower of London
Being
at
Syon
Abbey
was
like
being
at
a
place
filled
with
ghosts.
I
thought
about
Lady
Margaret
Douglas
walking
in
these
very
rooms,
heartbroken.
I
thought
of
the
nuns
who
lived
there,
whose
Abbey
has
been
destroyed.
And
then
I
thought,
“If
the
king
can
do
that,
he
can
order
my
execution.
I
must
not
think
about
this
or
I
will
cry.”
None
of
my
servants
spoke
to
me
besides
my
half
sister
Isabel,
who
scolded
me
about
my
crimes.
I
was
scared
to
death.
Lady
Rochford,
Francis
Dereham,
Henry
Mannox,
and
many
of
my
servants
were
being
questioned
in
the
tower
and
so
was
Thomas
Culpeper,
the
man
I
loved,
the
man
I
still
love
more
than
anything.
They
took
Thomas—and
his
being
in
danger
made
me
scream
in
anguish.
Before
I
left
for
Syon
Abbey
and
before
the
king
left,
I
ran
past
the
guards
and
pounded
on
the
door
of
the
chapel
where
the
king
was
hearing
mass.
I
cried
out
his
name
over
and
over
again,
but
the
guards
pulled
me
back
to
my
chamber
and
I
was
not
allowed
to
speak
to
the
king.
I
knew
that
if
I
did,
I
would
be
forgiven.
But
without
speaking
to
him,
I
was
in
danger
though
I
did
not
know
how
much.
I
did
not
know
I
was
doomed.
As
I
walked
restlessly
around
the
rooms,
I
worried
about
what
those
in
the
tower
would
say
and
what
would
happen
to
them.
I
was
certain
that
I
would
not
be
executed—but
what
about
them?
I
was
sure
that
Lady
Rochford
would
lie
for
me.
35
And
of
course
dearest
Thomas
Culpeper
would,
for
he
loved
me.
But
Francis
Dereham
had
a
lose
mouth
and
Henry
Mannox
was
so
jealous
of
my
other
lover,
he’d
say
anything.
My
friends
from
Lambeth
were
not
good
friends,
and
were
only
friends
to
me
when
I
had
favors
to
give.
As
for
what
would
happen
to
them,
I
had
no
idea.
My
mind
jumped
from
pardoned
to
executed!
I
truly
could
not
figure
out
what
would
happen.
I
hoped
they
would
all
be
pardoned.
And
I
hoped
they
would
not
ask
Mrs.
Tilney
and
Margaret
Morton
about
the
summer
progress
and
the
nights
with
no
servants
but
Lady
Rochford.
Isabel
asked
me
if
I
wanted
to
confess
to
my
confessor.
“No,”
I
said.
I
was
not
such
a
fool
as
to
confess
to
my
confessor
what
I
had
denied
to
everyone
else.
It
was
Christmas
and
I
had
fallen
so
far
since
last
Christmas.
I
was
so
tired
of
it
all,
I
wished
that
it
were
over
and
that
I
were
free.
Then
I
found
out
that
Francis
was
dead.
And
then,
even
worse,
my
poor,
dearest
Thomas
was
dead.
Executed
for
treason—adultery
with
me.
Thinking
that
Thomas
died
because
of
me
is
dreadful.
Thinking
that
I
will
never
see
the
man
I
love
again
is
heartbreaking.
His
death
is
so
final.
I
loved
Thomas
and
without
him
I
will
always
be
alone.
Because
of
Thomas’s
death
and
his
torture
and
my
imprisonment,
I
have
changed
from
a
silly,
foolish
girl
to
a
kind,
thoughtful,
and
wise
woman.
Not
that
I’m
not
still
stupid.
It
is
more
that
I
think
more,
care
more,
am
more
experienced,
and
most
of
all,
have
lost
someone
I
love,
which
has
taught
me
the
feeling
of
loss.
It
has
made
me
less
greedy.
And
if
I
were
to
be
queen
again,
I’m
sure
I
would
be
a
much
better
one.
Soon
after
that,
the
Duke
of
Norfolk
(Oh
how
glad
I
was
to
see
him!)
and
the
privy
councilors
came
to
Syon.
I
was
sure
they
would
release
me.
The
duke
told
me
I
was
to
be
executed.
I
looked
at
him
curiously.
“He
must
have
a
plan
to
get
me
out
of
it,”
I
thought.
“What
should
I
do?”
I
whispered
to
him.
He
gave
me
a
long
paper
and
I
read
it
out.
The
paper
said
how
I
confessed
my
crimes
(which
were
quite
exaggerated)
and
that
the
king
be
merciful
to
my
family
(my
uncle
was
trying
to
save
himself)
and
to
give
my
clothes
to
my
maids
at
my
death
as
I
have
nothing
else
to
give
(imagine
me
with
nothing
else
to
give!)
I
was
crying
by
the
time
I
finished
the
speech.
The
councilors
and
the
duke
left
and
I
was
sure
they
would
come
back
the
next
day
with
a
royal
pardon.
But
when
they
came
back,
the
duke
told
me
they
were
taking
me
to
the
tower
to
be
executed.
“But
I
confessed
to
be
forgiven!”
I
screamed,
starting
to
cry.
“Come
to
the
barge,”
the
duke
said
with
tears
in
his
eyes.
“No!”
I
cried,
running
into
another
chamber.
The
guards
ran
after
me.
“Don’t
touch
me!
I’m
Queen
of
England!
You
can’t
do
this
to
me!”
The
guards
grabbed
me,
twisting
36
my
wrist.
“No!”
I
kept
screaming
as
they
pulled
me
to
the
barge.
I
was
taken
to
the
Tower
of
London,
where
I
am
now.
I
will
speak
by
the
scaffold
and
tell
the
people
that
my
punishment
is
worthy
and
just.
I
do
deserve
this
but
I
won’t
tell
them
that
I
think
the
king
deserves
worse.
Instead
I
shall
pray
for
him.
Earlier,
I
asked
for
the
block
to
be
brought
here
so
I
could
practice
laying
my
head
on
it.
I
want
to
die
nobly
and
bravely.
However
I
am
so
frightened.
I
will
end
my
speech
with
one
true
statement,
which
is
that
though
I
die
a
queen,
I
would
rather
die
the
wife
of
Thomas
Culpeper.
37
Epilogue
And
so
it
will
be.
I
will
die
at
the
scaffold
but
I
will
never
be
forgotten.
No
matter
how
much
the
king
tries
to
erase
my
existence,
people
will
remember
me,
and
my
death.
The
night
will
soon
be
over
and
then
my
life
will
be,
too.
It
is
hard
to
imagine
that
soon
I
will
be
gone
from
this
life.
I
wonder
what
will
happen
to
my
stepchildren
and
my
family.
I
have
no
one
I
really
love
to
worry
about.
The
only
person
I
ever
loved
was
Thomas
and
he
is
dead.
It
comforts
me
to
think
I
will
see
him
again
in
heaven.
I
wonder
whom
the
king
will
marry
next.
However,
I
try
to
keep
my
mind
focused
on
seeing
Thomas
in
heaven.
Thinking
of
it
makes
me
happy
about
dying.
Now
I
must
end
my
story
and
my
life.
I
will
end
it
by
signing
myself
Kathryn,
the doomed queen.
THE
END
38
Historical Note
On
Monday
the
13th
of
February
1542,
Catherine
Howard
was
executed
for
treason.
The
king,
heartbroken,
was
single
for
eighteen
months
after
the
execution.
Then
the
king
married
Catherine
Parr,
his
last
wife.
On
the
28th
of
January
1547,
King
Henry
VIII
died.
Catherine
Parr
was
a
widow
and
Edward
was
King.
After
Edward
died,
Lady
Jane
Grey
was
put
on
the
throne
by
her
ambitious
family.
Mary
quickly
took
the
throne
that
was
rightfully
hers.
At
Mary’s
death,
Elizabeth
(Catherine
Howard’s
cousin,
as
well
as
step‐daughter)
became
Queen.
Catherine
Howard
was
buried
in
the
Chapel
of
St.
Peter
ad
Vincula.
She
shall
never
be
forgotten.
39
Bibliography
The
Six
Wives
of
Henry
VIIIAlison
Weir
The
Boleyn
inheritance
Philippa
Gregory
Doomed
Queen
Anne
Carolyn
Meyer
Beware
Princess
Elizabeth
Carolyn
Meyer
Patience
Princess
CatherineCarolyn
Meyer
Mary
Bloody
Mary
Carolyn
Meyer
Catherine
Howard
‐
Wikipedia,
the
free
encyclopedia
Catherine
Howard:
Biography,
Portraits,
Primary
Sources
from
englishhistory.net
The
letter
from
Catherine
Howard
to
Thomas
Culpeper
is
real
as
well
as
her
confession
and
her
quote
after
she
is
offered
mercy.