Tsung Tsin College Use of English – Writing Skills
Part 1 – Introduction Structure of the Standard Essay ________________ ________________ opening remarks to catch reader’s ________________ ( ________________ statement ( ) plan of development (recommended) ( )
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Body –________________ Supporting Paragraph ________________ ________________ 1 (supporting point 1) ( details/ examples ( )
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Body –________________ Supporting Paragraph ________________ ________________ 2 (supporting point 2) ( details/ examples ( )
)
Body –________________ Supporting Paragraph ________________ ________________ 3 (supporting point 3) ( details/ examples ( )
)
________________ ________________ (recommended) ( general closing remarks ( )
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<example of a standard essay> Traditional secondary schools cannot be replaced by the Internet (edited from Kate Hung’s work with possible presence of mistakes) 1
Nowadays, the Internet provides students with endless information. 2 Therefore, some people think that traditional secondary schools and teachers are no longer necessary. 3 I disagree. 4 I think traditional secondary schools are irreplaceable because of students’ inability to manage time well, the provision of a desirable learning environment by the school and the importance of students having direct interaction with teachers and schoolmates. 5
First of all, most students are not able to arrange their own time properly without teachers’ help. 6 They are used to live with a timetable during studying at schools. 7 Hence, they would most probably feel lost without a timetable, and waste their time at last. 8 For instance, they may go to bed at night and not wake up until afternoon. 9 They may also use more time for their leisure activities such as playing online games and watching TV. 10 Moreover, students will not know the length of time they should spend on each topic. 11 Spending more unnecessary time in one area will be a waste since it will affect the learning in other subjects. 12
Other than time management, an ideal learning environment is also a good reason for keeping traditional secondary schools and teachers. 13 It is no doubt that schools provide a good environment with all-round facilities for students to study in. 14 Facilities like laboratories are provided in schools and these are necessary for studying, especially for science students. 15 Students can only use these resources when they are under close supervision of experienced people. 16 Without the help of these people and the chance to practice, students are necessary to provide a practical learning environment to students. 17
What is more, direct teaching and interaction with peers are highly important to students. 18 I believe that most of us have ever Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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experienced that feeling lost after reading a few pages of our textbook on our own. 19 It is true that some concepts of the topics are difficult to understand without teachers’ detailed explanation. 20 Students’ problems can be addressed immediately through the interaction with teachers. 21 Furthermore, good social skills which are important for students can be developed by interacting with schoolmates. 22 Thereby, face-to-face interaction with teachers and schoolmates is essential for students’ all-round development. 23
In conclusion, as we know students need guidance on time management, a school environment and face-to-face interaction with teachers and schoolmates, the Internet can only be a useful tool but not a substitute for traditional secondary schools. (398 words)
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<example of a variation> Social Interaction via the Internet (edited from Bill Fu’s work with possible presence of mistakes) Nowadays, social interaction via the Internet is very popular. More and more people spend lots of time on the Internet. Some of them even believe surfing on the Internet has become their essential habit. In other words, they feel they cannot live without it. In fact, how many pluses and minuses of social interaction via the Internet do they know? If they know a lot, have they ever thought more deeply about them? So, they should realize both of them first. When it comes to the advantages, the first one is that people can easily make new friends. Nowadays, many people from various countries usually do plenty of things on the Internet, for example chatting, playing online games, documenting their lives in weblogs, reading and commenting on others’ weblogs. Furthermore, some webs provide numerous chatrooms as communicative platforms. In these chatrooms, people can opt for others who may have the same hobbies or similar personalities and chat whatever they like. By chatting with each other, they can know more about their new friends. The second one is providing great convenience. In the past, people mainly sent letters or talked on the phone to keep contact with their friends. But these two methods are not convenient. Now, with advanced software, people can make new friends conveniently. For instance, they can chat with others whenever they like with MSN or ICQ, as well as make personal weblogs so that other people can know more about one another. Social interaction via the Internet has many advantages, such as ease to make new friends and convenience. However, they should consider the disadvantages as well. Isolation is one potential serious problem. As psychologists say, heavy Internet use can lead to isolation as the users need to spend lots of time on the Internet. Also, the users will neglect their friends and parents when surfing on the Internet. For instance, many adolescents like playing online games and chatting on game forums. Some of them usually sleep Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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insufficiently as a result of being online for a long time. They tend to have no energy and time to do other things such as talking with their friends and parents. So, they will isolate themselves. Other than that, personal information can be stolen and used in crimes. Many users, in particular teenagers, like posting their own photos and their personal details on their weblogs so as to let others know more about themselves and desire to make friends with them. Basically, these people just want to share some special things with visitors and most of them have never thought that other people may use their personal information to do illegal things, such as stealing credit card passwords and making fake identity cards. Therefore, posting personal information on the Internet can be very dangerous. All in all, social interaction via the Internet has both advantages and disadvantages. From my point of view, using the Internet for social interaction, which may lead to isolation and Internet crimes, should not substitute for our real-life social interaction. So, to keep bad consequences away from us, we had better not use the Internet for social interaction. (522 words)
Question: What are the special features of the variation? a. no ________________ statement in the introduction b. no ________________ ________________ ________________ the ________________ c. 4 ________________ ________________, 2 for each side d. presence of a ________________ paragraph e. having ________________ in the transitional paragraph and conclusion f. showing personal ________________ in the ________________ Practice: Distinguish between major supporting points and details that fit under those points. a. Thesis: Working as a dishwasher in a restaurant was my worst job. A. ten-hour shifts a. C B. heat in kitchen (1) ____ Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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C. D. E. F. G. H. I.
working conditions minimum wage hours changed every week no bonus for overtime hours pay noisy work area
b. Thesis: Joining an aerobics class A. make new friends B. reduces mental stress C. social benefits D. strengthens heart E. improves self-image F. mental benefits G. tones muscles H. meet interesting instructors I. ________________ _______________
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(2) b. ____ (1) (2)F c. ____ (1) (2)
____ ____
____ ____
has many benefits. a. ____ (1) ____ (2) ____ b. F (1) ____ (2) ____ c. I (1) ____ (2) ____
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Tsung Tsin College Use of English – Writing Skills
Part 2 – Steps in Essay Writing I Writing the Introduction Functions of the introduction: 1. It attracts the reader’s ________________, encouraging him or her to continue reading the essay. 2. It supplies any ________________ information that the reader may need to understand the essay. 3. It presents a ________________ statement. This clear, direct statement of the main idea of the essay usually appears near the end of the introductory paragraph. 4. It shows a plan of development. In this preview, the major supporting points for the thesis are listed in the ________________ in which they will be presented. However, writers sometimes choose not to describe the plan of development. Common methods of introduction: 1. Begin with a broad, ________________ statement of your topic and narrow it down to your thesis statement. 2. Start with an idea or a situation that is ________________ of the one you will develop – your readers will be surprised by the contrast. 3. Explain the ________________ of your topic to the reader. 4. Use an ________________ or a brief story. 5. Ask one or more ________________. 6. Use a ________________. a.
something you have read in a book or an article, e.g. “Fish and visitors,” wrote Benjamin Franklin, “begin to smell after
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three days.” b.
a popular saying or proverb, e.g. “Never say never”
c.
a current or recent ________________ slogan, e.g. “Impossible is nothing.”
d.
a favorite expression used by friends or family, e.g. My father always says…
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Practice: In the space provided, identify the method used in each of the following introductions by putting down the corresponding number (1-6). (The following work is not mistake-free.) Many people, including our schoolmates, like hiking. However, recently there have been several reports of accidents that happened to people hiking on their own in remote areas. However, most of the accidents could have been avoided. It depends on what measures people take when they are hiking. Because of this, I would like to offer some advice on safety measures and what we should do in case of an emergency... (edited from Bertha Chan’s work) A recent survey conducted by the University of Hong Kong suggests that 67% of the teenagers in Hong Kong believe that “slim” means “beautiful” and they are keen to be slim in order to be beautiful. But some experts state that “slim” does not mean “healthy”, and “beautiful” is only a sensational word, which people should not pursue blindly…(edited from Stella Poon’s work) In Hong Kong, many university graduates start working without enough working experience. Thus, they cannot easily satisfy their bosses in their first job. Some employers and educationalists suggest that like many students in Europe and North America, Form 7 graduates in Hong Kong should work full time for one year before entering university. Some people think that it is a good idea…. (edited from Kate Hung’s work) Hong Kong is a famous city which emphasizes the importance of international languages, especially English, since communication is based on using languages. Therefore, Hong Kong people have been provided various opportunities for learning English. We can see different English words everywhere like on the menus, guideboards, Internet and so on. Nevertheless, more has to be done to better our students’ English as our teenagers’ proficiency of the second language is often criticized... (edited from Pamela Pang’s work) One of my primary school teachers was used to tell me, “A dictionary is the best teacher.” These years, we know there is a new challenger to dictionaries. Entering into a classroom, you can often see a teacher use a computer to show their teaching materials like PowerPoint slides and movies, which mainly come from the Internet. Therefore, some say that it is no longer necessary to accept traditional education... (edited from Jim Wong’s work) Do our university graduates have enough working experience? Do our fresh graduates really work smartly if they do well in their studies? Some employers and educationalists suggest that Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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ahead of entering university, Form 7 graduates should work full time for one year—which is called a gap year in general. Some worry that academic results may be adversely affected after having that year. In the following, I would like to describe the pros and cons and give my own opinion of this suggestion. (edited from Super Leung’s work) Supporting the Thesis with Specific Details instead of Vague Generalities Specific details have two advantages. First, details excite the reader’s interest. Second, details give the evidence needed for the reader to see and understand ________________ ideas. Practice: Write S in front of the two selections below that provide specific evidence to support the opening point. Write G in front of the two selections in which the opening point is followed by general sentences. 1. The people who have moved in beside us are unpleasant neighbors. They barely say hi when we’re in our neighboring yards. When we invited them to a neighborhood barbecue, they said they were going to be busy. They sometimes turn loud music on late at night… 2. My mother was a harsh disciplinarian. When I did something wrong, no matter how small, she would inflict serious punishment. She had expectations that I was to live up to, and she never changed her attitude. When I did not behave as I should, I was dealt with severely… 3. Some things are worse when they’re “improved”. A good cheesecake, for one thing, is perfect. It doesn’t need pineapple, cherries, blueberries, or whipped cream smeared all over it. Plain old American blue jeans, the ones with five pockets and copper rivets, are perfect too. Manufacturers only made them worse when they added flared legs, took away the pockets… 4. Pets can be more trouble than children. My dog, unlike my children, has never been completely Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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housebroken. When he’s excited or nervous, he still has an occasional problem. My dog, unlike my children, has never learned how to take care of himself when we’re away… Organizing and Connecting Specific Evidence A. Common methods of organization 1. time order – using the following words to show: “first”, “n____________”, “finally”… 2. emphatic order – putting emphasis on the most interesting or important detail by placing it in the final supporting paragraph because the reader is most likely to remember the ________ thing; using the following words to show: “finally”, “last of all”, “most important”… B. Transitional words 1. addition signals: first of all, ________________, lastly… 2. time signals: first, ________________, after, before… 3. space signals: next to, on the ________________ side, below… 4. change-of-direction signals: but, however, in ________________, on the contrary 5. illustration signals: for example, ________________ as, as an illustration… 6. conclusion signals: therefore, as a ________________, to conclude… C. Transitional Sentences Practice: The important values I learned from my parents …The most helpful values I learned from my parents are the importance of family support, of hard work, and of a good education… First, my parents taught me that family members should stick together, especially in times of trouble… Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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In addition to teaching me about the importance of ______________ _______________, my parents taught me the value of d________________, whether I am studying or working… Along with the value of ________________ ________________, my parents emphasized the benefits of a good ________________…
D. 1. 2. 3.
Other connecting words repeated words – repeating key words pronouns synonyms – increase variety and interest by avoiding needless repetition; e.g. method, technique, procedure, ________________
Writing the conclusion Common methods of conclusion: 1. End with a ________________ and final thought When army instructors train new recruits, each of their lessons follows a 3-step formula: tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you’ve told them. An essay can be similar. However, don’t use the exact wording you used before. A final comment follows the summary and rounds off the essay and brings the discussion to a close. Sometimes, you state your personal opinion in the final comment in a ________________ argumentative essay. 2. Include a thought-provoking ________________ or short series of ________________ A question grabs the reader’s attention. It is a direct appeal to your reader to think further about what you have written. A question must deal with one of the following areas: i. why the subject of your essay is ________________ ii. what might happen in the ________________
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iii. what should be done about the subject iv. which choice should be made 3. End with a prediction or ________________ Practice: In the space provided, identify how each concluding paragraph ends by putting down the corresponding number (1-3). Disappointments are unwelcome, but regular, visitors in everyone’s life. We can feel depressed about them, or we can try to escape from them. The best thing, though, is to accept a disappointment and then try to use it somehow… Holidays, it is clear, are often not the fulfilling experience they are supposed to be. They can, in fact, be very stressful. But would we rather have a holiday-free calendar? In conclusion, as we know students need guidance on time management, a school environment and face-to-face interaction with teachers and schoolmates, the Internet can only be a useful tool but not a substitute for traditional secondary schools. Writing the Title 1. A title is a very brief but not too general ________________ of your essay. 2. It is often no more than several words. 3. You may find it easier to write the title after you finish your paper. 4. No underlining, no quotation marks around it. 5. Except minor connecting words, the first letters of all words in the title should be ________________ letters.
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Tsung Tsin College Use of English – Writing Skills
Part 3 – Steps in Essay Writing II Revising Sentences A. Use parallelism By balancing the items in a sentence so that they have the same kind of structure, you will make the sentence clearer and easier to read. See examples in the following table. Nonparallel (Not Balanced) My job includes checking the inventory, initialing the orders, and to call the suppliers. He has to be cheerful, charming, and with enthusiasm. We painted the trim in the living room and the wallpaper was put up by our father.
Parallel (Balanced) My job includes checking the inventory, initialing the orders, and calling the suppliers. He has to be cheerful, charming, and enthusiastic. We painted the trim in the living room and our father put up the wallpaper
Practice: Underline and revise the unbalanced part of each of the following sentences. Question E.g. Chocolate makes me gain weight, lose my appetite, and breaking out in hives. The store sells hand buzzers, plastic fangs, and insects that are fake. Juan’s last job offered security while a better chance for advancement is offered by his new job. Crystal trusted no one, rewarded loyalty, and was dependent only on her own instincts. We will do our best to help them have courage and build up their confidence.
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B. Use a consistent point of view Practice: Inconsistent One of the fringe benefits of my job is that you can use a company credit card for gasoline. Though we like most of our neighbours, there are a few you hate. Each country refused to change their aggressive stance. If one wants to do well in this course, you should work hard.
Consistent One of the fringe benefits of my job is that __________ can use a company credit card for gasoline. Though we like most of our neighbours, there are a few __________ hate. Each country refused to change __________ aggressive stance. If one wants to do well in this course, __________ should work hard.
C. Use specific words Specific words create pictures in the reader’s mind. They help capture interest and make your meaning clear. General Sam walked down the street. Animals came into the place. The man signed the paper.
Specific Sam wandered slowly along Nathan Road. Hungry lions padded silently into the sawdust-covered arena. The man hastily scribbled his name on the course withdrawal slip.
Four ways to make sentences specific: 1. Use exact names – e.g. He sold his car. vs. David sold his __________. 2. Use lively verbs – e.g. The flag moved in the breeze. vs. The flag fluttered in the breeze. 3. Use adjectives before nouns – e.g. A man ran to the house. vs. A heavyset, perspiring man ran to the old __________ house.
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4. Use words that relate to the senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, __________) D. Use active verbs In general, verbs in active voice are more effective than verbs in passive voice. Active verbs give your writing a simpler and more vigorous style. Practice: Revise the following sentences, changing verbs from the passive to the active voice. a.
The computer was turned on by Victor. _________________________________________________________________
b.
Many unhealthy foods are included in the typical American diet. _________________________________________________________________
c.
The family picnic was invaded by hundreds of biting ants. _________________________________________________________________
d.
Antibiotics are used by doctors to treat many infections. _________________________________________________________________
e.
Final grades will be determined by the instructor on the basis of class performance. _________________________________________________________________
E. Use concise words Wordiness – using more words than necessary to express a meaning – is often a sign of lazy or careless writing. You should make your writing direct and concise. Wordy Sentence I am going to tell you the hobby that I enjoy – collecting old comic books. (15 words) In Tony’s opinion, he thinks that cable television will change and alter our lives in the future. (17 words) Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
Clear Sentence I enjoy collecting old comic books. (6 words) Tony thinks that cable television will change our lives. (9 words) P. 16
Practice: Wordy Form at the present time in the event that in the near future due to the fact that for the reason that is able to in this day and age during the time that a large number of big in size red in colour return back good benefit
Short Form
Practice: Revise the following sentences, omitting needless words. a.
In conclusion, I would like to end my essay by summarizing each of the major points that were covered within my paper. _________________________________________________________________
b.
In general, I am the sort of person who tends to be shy, especially in large crowds or with strangers I don’t know well. _________________________________________________________________
c.
We thought the television program that was on last night was enjoyable, whereas our parents reacted with dislike to the content of the show. _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________
d.
Out of all the regrets in my life so far, one of my greatest ones to the present time is that I did not take additional art classes when I was still in high school and had a chance to do so. _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________
F. Vary sentences One part of effective writing is to vary the kinds of sentences you Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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write. If every sentence follows the same pattern, writing may become monotonous to read. There are four ways you can create variety and interest in your writing style. 1. Adding a second complete thought (coordination – showing ideas of equal importance) e.g. Kelly often tells Alan to work hard, _____________ he is still very lazy. (a compound sentence) 2. Adding a dependent thought (subordination – giving one idea less emphasis than another) e.g. _____________ Kelly often tells Alan to work hard, he is still very lazy. (a complex sentence) 3. Beginning with a special opening word or phrase i.
past participle – e.g. Concerned about his girlfriend’s fever, Summer called 999.
ii.
present participle – e.g. Needing immediate help, Summer called 999.
iii.
adverb – e.g. _____________, Summer called 999.
iv.
to-infinitive – e.g. _____________ get help, Summer called 999.
v.
prepositional phrase – e.g. _____________ the toilet, Summer called 999.
4. Placing adjectives or verbs in a series Practice: Combine the simple sentences into one sentence by using adjectives or verbs in a series and by omitting repeated words. Use a comma when necessary. Example Hidy spun the basketball on one finger. She rolled it along her arms. She dribbled it between her legs. Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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Hidy spun the basketball on one finger, rolled it along her arms, and dribbled it between her legs. 1. The baby toddled across the rug. He picked up a button. He put the button in his mouth. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ 2. Water dribbled out of the tap. The water was brown. The water was foul-tasting. The tap was rusty. The tap was metal. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Proofreading You should remember to look for and correct mistakes in grammar, punctuation, usage and _____________ before you submit your essay.
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Tsung Tsin College Use of English – Writing Skills
Part 4 – Essay Development Introduction A. Understanding the nature of an essay Identify the genre – a one-sided or a two-sided argumentative essay, a persuasive letter, a letter to the editor, an article or a letter of complaint… B. Knowing your purpose and audience Sadly, you probably write because your teacher tells you to do so, and your audience is mainly _____________ _____________ only. However, you should be imaginative and have the writing purpose required by the question in your mind. And your ‘real’ audience is certainly not your teacher, but the ones suggested by the question. C. Determining your point of view 1. First-person approach In this approach, you draw on your own experience and speak to your audience in your own voice, using pronouns like I or we. This approach is common in narrative essays based on _____________ experience, which are rare in AL essays. It also suits other essays where most of the evidence presented consists of personal observation. 2. Second-person approach The writer speaks directly to the reader, using the pronoun _____________. This approach is appropriate for giving direct instructions and explanations to the reader. Otherwise, in Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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general, NEVER use the word you in writing. 3. Third-person approach In the third person, the writer includes no direct references to the reader (you) or the self (I). Third person gets its name from the stance it suggests – that of an outsider or “third person” observing and reporting on matters of _____________ rather than private importance. You should use pronouns like they. Writing Argumentative Essays Five strategies you can use to help win over readers whose viewpoint may differ from yours: A. Use tactful, courteous language It is important not to make readers angry by referring to them or their opinions in rude terms. Don’t use sweeping statements like “Everybody knows that…” Also, keep the focus on the issue you are discussing, not on the _____________ involved in the debate. Don’t write, “My opponents say that online dating…” Instead, write, “Supporters of online dating say that …” Terms like “my opponents” imply that the argument is between you and anyone who disagrees with you. B. Point out _____________ ground – opinions that you share Find points on which people on all sides of the argument can agree. Readers will be more ready to agree to your idea once they have considered how you and they think similarly. C. Acknowledge different viewpoints It is a mistake to ignore points of view that conflict with yours. Acknowledging other viewpoints strengthens your position in several ways. First, it helps you spot flaws in the opposing position – as well as in your own argument. Second, it gives the Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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impression that you are a reasonable person, willing to look at an issue from all sides. Readers will be more likely to consider your point of view if you show that you are willing to consider _____________. At what point in your essay should you acknowledge opposing arguments?
The
earlier
the
_____________–
best,
in
the
introduction. Some effective techniques: 1. Cite the opposing viewpoint in your _____________ statement e.g. Although some students believe that studying a foreign language is a waste of time, two years of foreign-language study should be required of all university graduates. 2. Use one or two sentences in the _____________ to acknowledge the alternative position. Such sentences briefly state the other side’s argument. e.g. … Many people argue that working can be a valuable experience for the young. However, working more than about fifteen hours a week is harmful because… 3. Use a _____________ within the body of your essay to summarize opposing opinions in greater detail. A fair, evenhanded summary of the other side’s ideas will help convince readers that you have looked at the issue from all angles before deciding where you stand. D. When appropriate, grant the merits of differing viewpoints Sometimes an opposing argument contains an extremely valid point. What you should do is to admit that the point is a good one. You will lose credibility if you argue against something that clearly makes sense. Admit the merit of one aspect of the other argument while making it clear that you still believe your Victor Chow – UE Writing Skills
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argument to be _____________ overall. e.g. Granted, students who are already accustomed to computers can use them to write papers more efficiently. But for students like me who write and think in longhand, a computer in the classroom is more a hindrance than a help… E. Rebut differing viewpoints When you are dealing with an issue that your readers feel strongly about, you may need to rebut the opposing arguments. To rebut means to point out _____________ with an opposing view, to show where an opponent’s argument breaks down.
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