Tomas Cv Rev.2

Curriculum Vitae Personal information Name: Profession: Year of birth: Nationality: Address:

Tomas Nascisonis Stand Up Comedian 1981 Lithuanian Buldukas Bar 1g, Mazeikia Lithuania 89186 + 370-620-80008

Contact: E-mail: TomasCanDoAnything@4$.com

Education and Qualification First School Graduated with honors in: ass kissing, and bully can I carry your books Secondary School Graduating honors in: Singing, Dance and clown school, Higher Education Degree- Cake decorating Associates Degree- Stand up comedian BA Degree- Religion and humor while at church Mater Degree- Vocal acoustic expressions of the tongue & nose Other Certificate- Karaoke classes 99, 101, 101.5 Credit Letter of accomplishment (issues by Mr. Ronald McDonald), Burger Flipping specialist Continuing Education Courses – How to find the G-spot(on going) and Teaching monkeys the tango

Significant experience Buldukas Bar & Grill (8/07 >present) Working as stand up comedian and in spare time decorated cakes during birthday events. My responsibilities were to assure crowed laughter and occasionally to teach the tango to hairy guys. Plaza Beach resort LLC (1/07 -8/07) I joined the team of ladies selling beer and performing table and lap dancing. Later during this project I reach one of my goals and began working behind the bar servicing the ladies prior to their pole dancing expo. My duties included, expanding the ladies orifices to assist them in having ample secrete storage for bikers to stash the dollars while they danced. White House USA (4/05 > 1/07) I was appointed co-leader of the secrete undercover group called team-S&M. The team held responsibilities to assure that each Politian maintained his pure pleasure seekers functions. The team worked incorporation with the Politian to find proper methods of sucking and fucking the money and honey from all normal blue and white collar men. My responsibilities included testing the honey and purchasing all ninja related customs.

General profile summery and skills Hobbies: Writing children’s gang & grand theft poems and books Hot wax removal for bikini babes Moonshine manufacturing and supplies Member of: Mafia removal club

Experience I have done most everything and have T-shirts to prove it. Knowledge I proven myself to be normal in most any situation(before lunch). Language skills I have good working language before lunch and improves drastically after last call for alcohol Computer skills I am an IT guru and computer stud. I have invented and my own credit care scam program with operating software

References(contact data upon request only) Ronald McDonald’s Slipper Cindy(pole dancer expert) Jack & Wanker Off (brothers comedian friends) Rasa Byby (pleasure seeker expert) Pay Pal Joe (JVC special software programs) Cris Cross (long range sniper) Hannibal Cannibal II (breakfast buddy)